Potentially the Start

[Deepdownwannabe]

Hello all,
This may be the start of the trip down this path but it also may not. I've just joined here and this seems like the place to randomly talk about this subject and how it may relate with my wife and I.

It seems the standard introductory part is required. I'm 50 and my wife is 43, married ten years and both on a second marriage. To best describe her would be the classic girl next door. She looks great, works out but never thinks she looks good enough or fit enough. A brunette with long hair, great eyes and is 36C as it seems that is always an inevitable question from what I have read around here.

Our sex life is not adventurous but is good. Some would say a touch vanilla-ish but it is us. I am beginning to see age creeping in on my side as far as sex drive and I've never been endowed to begin with, but she is still the sexiest lady I know and while my performance may not be what it was, I want her to experience it all to the most she can.

I wasn't too aware of the hotwife world but stumbled on it during some late night internet rabbit hole session. And the idea did seem to leave a mark with me. I began to ask about previous lovers she had and while the list is not long, she was more than forthcoming in telling me various milestones in her upbringing. I also learned red wine helped lessen those inhibitors.

I've asked her what she would find attractive now if the situation ever arose. The standard "fit, attractive, makes me laugh" answers but it went no farther other than "I dont have to worry about anyone else though, I have you". Of course that only helped plant the seed.

Time went on and nothing was really mentioned again until one evening in bed during foreplay (and after wine) I asked if she had ever thought about someone other than me. "Of course, everyone always thinks of someone else at some point, but again, I dont have to worry about it do I? Besides, I've never cheated and I never will". The counter was it is not cheating if I was told. I thought I had messed it up after some silence, but the wine helped there. "If you were told? And that wouldn't bother you?" The door had been opened.

The evening finished with a roleplay of her fucking someone else while her cuck waited at home. And it was probably the most vigorous session in some time. The discussion afterwards did not dampen the idea. When I was asked "you wouldn't want that for real would you?" and I never said no seemed to register with her.

And she was waiting the next morning over coffee, ready to question further. I was asked if the night before was just some fantasy idea or was it something in my mind. I answered honestly that the idea had crossed my mind. She asked where this idea came from and I simply said "the internet". I even had to show her a few of the websites that catered to this idea. And then she was off to read up on all of this.

The normal questions came back. How would this happen? She did not think she was the type, not attractive enough. What would our relationship be as a result? She explained she was a bit of a romantic (which I knew of course) and was not the one and done type, if she did this it would not be a one-time deal. Then the question that caught me off guard. She asked if I loved the idea of the woman in control of the husband. The one calling the shots. Basically in charge. I didn't answer verbally but did nod which she smiled to "Well, be careful what you wish for". I didn't know if that was the start or not.

That's where it stands. Where it goes I have no idea. I guess time will tell.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Deepdownwannabe. Sounds she like she is a wannabe also but thinks women are not allowed to admit it. Fantasies are one of the hard things to get most women to talk about, admit, or act on but they are definitely there. Men don't speak the language and have a hard time interpreting what she says. She may also change her mind frequently about how she admits she feels even thou that fantasy is really still there. You might do well to get her to join and participate and become verified.

[Texas Jack]

Then the question that caught me off guard. She asked if I loved the idea of the woman in control of the husband. The one calling the shots. Basically in charge. I didn't answer verbally but did nod which she smiled to "Well, be careful what you wish for". I didn't know if that was the start or not.

Sure sounds like it. She wouldn't have said that -- and smiled! -- if the notion didn't appeal to her.

You might have a tiger by the tail here.

[Peaks23]

Before you jump into this, and I'm sure this will be backed up by others on this forum, TALK. Talk a lot.

How do you feel about her regularly fucking someone else?
This will entail her building a bond with that person, talking, texting with them regularly. That can be a head fuck for you, and her.

Her doing things with another man that she doesn't do with you.

It will enter her head that you might want to fuck someone else. Do you?

Getting fucked by another man is exciting, amazing and all the other great adjectives but afterwards, there is cuddling, small talk etc. That can be hard to take as well. It sounds like your wife doesn't want to "fuck and go", so it could mean overnight stays whilst you are not there.

Have you considered the angst. It can be terrifyingly tortuous mixed with utter horniness. Again, that can be difficult to deal with. Imagining what is going on, but not actually knowing.

You must have complete trust in each other otherwise it can be a very rocky road. Talk everything through, twice!

If you get it right, then you'll be fine and it'll be amazing.

You only get a first time once.

[hopper469]

Can’t wait!! This is similar how it happened with my second wife. The talk, the trust and bam she opens to the idea. Fourteen years of a “hell of a ride” and still going. Wish you luck and happiness!!

[Deepdownwannabe]

Well, a little further update. A roleplay over the weekend that I did not start. One in which she 'dressed up' a little nicer than normal when we went out for dinner, only to have her suggest while we were out that she dressed up to catch other peoples eye. That caught me off guard to hear her say that while we were dining. She mentioned it several times throughout the evening in that topic, even while we were home and in bed. She looked great and I have no doubt she would have garnered attention if I was not there or she was with girlfriends. There wasn't much to her comments but there also was so much to them.

That was all followed by the next morning when she told me that she was doing some research on her own about all of this, what it could entail and what could happen. She said she would stop though, if I wanted her to stop. I responded that I thought research was good.

And that is where it is at now.

[armyguyot1]

Don't you need to hire an intern to help with the R and D work?

[Deepdownwannabe]

She brought it up last night. I'm not sure if she was asking questions, or just making statements, but she covered a few things. I guess she has been reading up on all of this.

She told me she learned there are several different themes to this all: the wife becomes a slut and bangs everyone, she does this once and that is it, she takes one lover only perhaps even to the extent he becomes a boyfriend. It is all privately done or in public. Does she continue to have sex with her husband to the same level, maybe diminished or is he cut-off altogether? Is the relationship a shared activity to bring equal amounts of pleasure to both husband and wife, or is it something aimed at her pleasure and her pleasure only, perhaps brought out by an almost FLR aspect? She brought up all these variables over a glass of wine and I was a little shocked she had covered it to this extent.

Then she asked me a few questions. "You do know I've never been a one-night stand person, keeping more than one person in my life physically?" I knew that. "I've always been a romantic deep at heart?" I knew that too. "And I never do anything just half-assed?" One of her traits for sure, always the consummate professional.

"Do you want me to keep looking into all of this?" I didn't say no.

[armyguyot1]

Sounds pretty noncommittal. Either you want it and need to say so or you don't and need to say so. She is ready to go for it. You started a snowball rolling down the mountain. You need to make a committment and either stop it before it's too late or help it along. She said be careful what you wish for and you said nothing. A vacation could let her have time to experiment and go home. If you let her find her way through this at home it could get more than you are ready for now.

[Lucky Dog]

Sounds pretty noncommittal. Either you want it and need to say so or you don't and need to say so. She is ready to go for it. You started a snowball rolling down the mountain. You need to make a committment and either stop it before it's too late or help it along. She said be careful what you wish for and you said nothing. A vacation could let her have time to experiment and go home. If you let her find her way through this at home it could get more than you are ready for now.

I agree with army guy. She's telling you that if she does this, she will get very involved. This could be life changing, not just playtime. Many of us would love this, and actively seek it. You really didn't say if you'd like this to happen, and if you're ready for the changes in your relationship this would involve. Getting both husband and wife on the same page is essential to making this a success and possibly improving your relationship, even if it becomes different. If she gets started and you decide you're not comfortable with becoming a cuckold, it will hurt her and likely hurt the relationship too.

[Deepdownwannabe]

Yes I get that she certainly seems to be saying that, and while I have indeed fantasized about it, I am weighing that final, big rather committed next step. I am not sure I ever imagined her discussing it to this point.

[aztd]

Hello all,
This may be the start of the trip down this path but it also may not. I've just joined here and this seems like the place to randomly talk about this subject and how it may relate with my wife and I.

It seems the standard introductory part is required. I'm 50 and my wife is 43, married ten years and both on a second marriage. To best describe her would be the classic girl next door. She looks great, works out but never thinks she looks good enough or fit enough. A brunette with long hair, great eyes and is 36C as it seems that is always an inevitable question from what I have read around here.

Our sex life is not adventurous but is good. Some would say a touch vanilla-ish but it is us. I am beginning to see age creeping in on my side as far as sex drive and I've never been endowed to begin with, but she is still the sexiest lady I know and while my performance may not be what it was, I want her to experience it all to the most she can.

I wasn't too aware of the hotwife world but stumbled on it during some late night internet rabbit hole session. And the idea did seem to leave a mark with me. I began to ask about previous lovers she had and while the list is not long, she was more than forthcoming in telling me various milestones in her upbringing. I also learned red wine helped lessen those inhibitors.

I've asked her what she would find attractive now if the situation ever arose. The standard "fit, attractive, makes me laugh" answers but it went no farther other than "I dont have to worry about anyone else though, I have you". Of course that only helped plant the seed.

Time went on and nothing was really mentioned again until one evening in bed during foreplay (and after wine) I asked if she had ever thought about someone other than me. "Of course, everyone always thinks of someone else at some point, but again, I dont have to worry about it do I? Besides, I've never cheated and I never will". The counter was it is not cheating if I was told. I thought I had messed it up after some silence, but the wine helped there. "If you were told? And that wouldn't bother you?" The door had been opened.

The evening finished with a roleplay of her fucking someone else while her cuck waited at home. And it was probably the most vigorous session in some time. The discussion afterwards did not dampen the idea. When I was asked "you wouldn't want that for real would you?" and I never said no seemed to register with her.

And she was waiting the next morning over coffee, ready to question further. I was asked if the night before was just some fantasy idea or was it something in my mind. I answered honestly that the idea had crossed my mind. She asked where this idea came from and I simply said "the internet". I even had to show her a few of the websites that catered to this idea. And then she was off to read up on all of this.

The normal questions came back. How would this happen? She did not think she was the type, not attractive enough. What would our relationship be as a result? She explained she was a bit of a romantic (which I knew of course) and was not the one and done type, if she did this it would not be a one-time deal. Then the question that caught me off guard. She asked if I loved the idea of the woman in control of the husband. The one calling the shots. Basically in charge. I didn't answer verbally but did nod which she smiled to "Well, be careful what you wish for". I didn't know if that was the start or not.

That's where it stands. Where it goes I have no idea. I guess time will tell.

She has interest may never end up a hot wife. Enjoy the ride

[2inUPMichigan]

She is doing what many women who are considering this do. She is researching the options. She is attempting to figure out if YOU will be able to handle the reality of this. And she is deciding if she can view herself as a non-monogamous hotwife instead if a monogamous married woman.

Once she makes that mental switch from viewing herself as a monogamous wife to a non-monogamous hotwife that is the lens through which she will see the world.

Participate in those talks she is initiating, they are very important. If you are nervous or feeling like you aren't ready yet make sure you let her know. (She can help you with that)

Many times the man is the one so sure this is what he wants, until his wife shows interest in finding out more about it ....and he panics a little bit.
I think it is a matter of wanting something for so long but not really believing it would happen. You spent time preparing for the opening speech but didn't quite prepare yourself for what her reaction might be if she took the ball and ran with it.

For some this is just a bit of fun but for others this is a big change in their life. The two of you need to sit down and each talk a turn listening to each other talk about how you imagine or hope this journey together could go. Time to negotiate and clearly set any boundaries, goals or rules that are necessary to make this a smooth process for both of you.

Take a deep breath and know that you found the best support system right here. Good luck!

[Deepdownwannabe]

Thanks for the commentary, I will keep you updated as to what happens and where it goes.

[Lucky Dog]

Thanks for the commentary, I will keep you updated as to what happens and where it goes.

We're here, looking forward to hearing from you again.

[chastity_boi]

Any further developments? Interested to see where your wife’s research leads you and if you are willing to go along for the ride.

[Wantsomefunto]

Deep down
Such a good thread! Please continue with the updates. Maybe she should try a night out dressed sexy with a slutty girlfriend and see what attention she draws.

[Whenwillshe]

Seems that she has gotten the itch and is hoping to be able to scratch it.
She seems to be looking for a boyfriend or perhaps she has an idea of a particular FWB already.
If you are both in sync, looks like a win-win-win situation

[Deepdownwannabe]

Yes she has continued to look into all of this, she reminded me of that Friday night when we were in bed. And I noticed it seemed to have her worked up a little more than normal.

When she brought it up yesterday morning over our coffee, she said that she wanted to talk about the whole idea in a serious manner later that night and I had the day to get my ducks in a row so to speak. So I had this on my mind all day yesterday, in anticipation of just what she wanted to say. It was after dinner and the start of a nice bottle of wine when she said she was going upstairs for a bit but to give her 30 minutes to come upstairs to have our conversation.

So I waited but when I got upstairs I was taken by surprise as she was wearing a lingerie set I had never seen before, something that was a little more erotic than she would normally wear. Garters, stockings, the whole gamut. The smile on her face told me she knew I would be surprised. Even while I was still in a little state of shock she started right into the conversation, actually apologizing with "sorry, it seemed like something a hotwife would wear doesn't it?"

She proceeded to tell me she had done a fair bit of reading and was not put off by the idea, all the while making sure our wine glass was full. She wasn't put off but she said that if she was ever to do this, there would be conditions. She had to know that I was ok with it. If she were to do this it would be "her way".

I had to question what she meant by "her way" which she explained what seemed very casually other than the fact she looked amazing in her outfit right in front of me. I was to learn "her way" meant she would choose the manner and direction that this would go. How she would do it, with who, for how long. How that impact our physical relationship. She would be the one in charge, she even said "consider it a light version of a FLR". She had done some reading. She would decide all aspects as it related to anything along these lines, the one part I had the say in is I had to agree willingly. She did say she had no interest in sleeping around guy to guy to guy, she was never that type and wasn't going to start now. I guess I would have been surprised if she did say she wanted that.

As she talked she was very at ease, but also seemed to have that little edge of control to her which I had not seen a whole lot before. She added that she knew that while some husbands get cold feet as it all plays out but if she started with the idea, then she would take it to a logical ending, despite any misgivings I would have. Basically, once the ship sails, it will continue to sail.

This went on for sometime and the sexual tension was increasing, a verbal foreplay. I was pretty certain that she was intending to get a decision made that night. She said I could stop it all now and she would forget it all ever happened and we would revert back to our normal lives. Or I could agree and see where this goes. At that point she came to me and started to make out with me.

I won't say how or when, but by the end of the night I answered her question "Do you want me to become a hotwife?" With "yes".

I guess the ship has sailed.

[chastity_boi]

Wow. That is super hot. You are one lucky guy. I guess you need to strap yourself in now and see where the ride takes you. Can’t wait to hear how this develops. How are you feeling about what lies ahead?

[TheHammer]

What came out of her mouth during the fantasy/dirty talk in bed? What type of guy do you think she will go for? Young hung stud? BBC? Older rich sugar daddy?

[Deepdownwannabe]

Last night she gave me a couple of her rules. She promised me she would be completely honest about everything, there would be no surprises as that would feel like cheating. She also promised she would not just jump into anything for no reason. She is still a romantic at heart and insisted there would be nothing happening if she did not feel a connection. She gave no timeline, it could happen very quickly or this could be a long, drawn out affair (so to speak). But she assured me that it will happen one way or the other. There was to be no buyers remorse, I had agreed to this. And the final rule was a reminder that she is the one who will make any and all of the decisions.

[chastity_boi]

Another hot update. I guess the uncertainty about how, when or even if this will manifest itself must be quite the thrill in and of itself. In terms of her behavior have you noticed any kind of shift in how she acts or talks to you since this all started? It seems like your wife has a latent dominant streak that she wants to develop and evolve. Has that manifested itself at all in the days since you started down this path?

[michael8401]

Very hot and many guy's dream!

[mattyg_2671]

Love how this is developing!