thoughts on where it comes from and why (might be getting too real with this one)

[inivisibletwin]

heads up in advance, this post is going to be a little more existential, and not really very sexy, so no worries if you wanna skip this one...

...

lately i've been thinking about my whole situation: my wife and i have been together for 13 years, but she also has a boyfriend that she's been dating for 5 years, and he owns her pussy and has the "husband level" access that i would other wise have, while i am denied access to it except for once a year on our wedding anniversary... and i like it that way, it feels right to me, like thats the way it should be...

and ive been thinking specifically about why it is that i feel that way. why does it feel right and correct to me that I am denied access to my wife's pussy, while her boyfriend gets it all he wants.

its certainly not because I dislike pussy, on the contrary, i am a regular heterosexual man, i like vagina very much! when ever im allowed to access my wife's pussy i love it! I very much enjoy sex with her, i just enjoy her having sex with other guys moreso... why is that?

i was thinking back on my life and my past. I've come to the conclusion that i have been invalidated my whole life. my parents divorced when i was a kid. I lived with my mom at first, and then with my dad. both my parents remarried, and started new families, which kinda left me out. i was out on my own at 18.

i started dating in high school, and every single girl i dated cheated on me, and every girl i was into had a boyfriend.

eventually I dated a girl for about 6 months or so, and it ended when one day she called me to tell me she had another guy over to her place. she literally told me, over the phone, that had just done a strip tease dance for him, and was now only wearing panties. this was her breaking up with me... but i just remember that instead of getting upset by that phone call, i just got turned on!

years later when i married my first wife, and eventually told her i wanted to try her sleeping with another guy, it led to her leaving me for him...

here i am now, a pussyfree cuckold, and i love it... and i just keep thinking its an extension of all the invalidation i've gone through in my life. that now I feel like i am invalid, and i dont deserve my wife's pussy... her boyfriend does... it doesnt matter that i like pussy, i dont deserve it.

and my jealousy and horny wires are crossed.

maybe thats why it always, even after all this time, still hits to hard whenever she spends time alone with me wearing just panties, and reminds me that im not allowed to see or touch her pussy, its not mine, its her boyfriends...

anyway, sorry if this post started getting to deep, and too real... im gonna go try get my wife to have sex with her boyfriend... there have actually been times in the past 5 years that i have told my wife that i was feeling a little down and it would cheer me up if she had sex with Chris, and she would. I'm gonna go see if that'll work again... it probly will

[inivisibletwin]

update, for anyone that might have read this far... as soon as I submitted this post, I went out to the living room, where Jen was sitting on the couch, reading a book, wearing only panties (cause she thats how she normally dresses when shes home and no one else is here but her and me. Chris is at work right now)... I told her I was feeling a little down and it would cheer me up if she has sed with chris. she got up, gave me a hug and a kiss, and said, "awe, I'm sorry honey. Sure, as soon as he gets home."

hes not home yet, so it hasnt happened yet, but just her saying that, and knowing that it will, and i do feel a little better.

[Long Lurker 34]

heads up in advance, this post is going to be a little more existential, and not really very sexy, so no worries if you wanna skip this one...

...

lately i've been thinking about my whole situation: my wife and i have been together for 13 years, but she also has a boyfriend that she's been dating for 5 years, and he owns her pussy and has the "husband level" access that i would other wise have, while i am denied access to it except for once a year on our wedding anniversary... and i like it that way, it feels right to me, like thats the way it should be...

and ive been thinking specifically about why it is that i feel that way. why does it feel right and correct to me that I am denied access to my wife's pussy, while her boyfriend gets it all he wants.

its certainly not because I dislike pussy, on the contrary, i am a regular heterosexual man, i like vagina very much! when ever im allowed to access my wife's pussy i love it! I very much enjoy sex with her, i just enjoy her having sex with other guys moreso... why is that?

i was thinking back on my life and my past. I've come to the conclusion that i have been invalidated my whole life. my parents divorced when i was a kid. I lived with my mom at first, and then with my dad. both my parents remarried, and started new families, which kinda left me out. i was out on my own at 18.

i started dating in high school, and every single girl i dated cheated on me, and every girl i was into had a boyfriend.

eventually I dated a girl for about 6 months or so, and it ended when one day she called me to tell me she had another guy over to her place. she literally told me, over the phone, that had just done a strip tease dance for him, and was now only wearing panties. this was her breaking up with me... but i just remember that instead of getting upset by that phone call, i just got turned on!

years later when i married my first wife, and eventually told her i wanted to try her sleeping with another guy, it led to her leaving me for him...

here i am now, a pussyfree cuckold, and i love it... and i just keep thinking its an extension of all the invalidation i've gone through in my life. that now I feel like i am invalid, and i dont deserve my wife's pussy... her boyfriend does... it doesnt matter that i like pussy, i dont deserve it.

and my jealousy and horny wires are crossed.

maybe thats why it always, even after all this time, still hits to hard whenever she spends time alone with me wearing just panties, and reminds me that im not allowed to see or touch her pussy, its not mine, its her boyfriends...

anyway, sorry if this post started getting to deep, and too real... im gonna go try get my wife to have sex with her boyfriend... there have actually been times in the past 5 years that i have told my wife that i was feeling a little down and it would cheer me up if she had sex with Chris, and she would. I'm gonna go see if that'll work again... it probly will

IT - I can certainly see why the events of your early years might have had an effect on how you see yourself.

[HausCuck]

IT, I really identify with your childhood years...similar boat here. Thanks for the share.

[tit5atat]

From your post her I feel you have some level of disappointment about only being a cuck. Reading your introduction again it seems you thrive on this lifestyle. I guess it's really hard to figure out why a man would want to see he wife fuck other men than do it himself. Sounds like your sex life with her is actually pretty good, when you have it. Do you not satisfy her well? Too small or other issues?

At least it seems you embrace your deep desires, however they came about. Her tally of 68 is pretty remarkable!

[inivisibletwin]

From your post her I feel you have some level of disappointment about only being a cuck. Reading your introduction again it seems you thrive on this lifestyle. I guess it's really hard to figure out why a man would want to see he wife fuck other men than do it himself. Sounds like your sex life with her is actually pretty good, when you have it. Do you not satisfy her well? Too small or other issues?

At least it seems you embrace your deep desires, however they came about. Her tally of 68 is pretty remarkable!

actually, it's not an issue of my performance. I'm a little on the heavier side, and I've mentioned this in previous posts, but my dick is thicker than average, which means it's less sensitive than the average. So when Jen and I do have sex I can go for longer, cause it takes me longer to finish. And she does like having sex with me, me being her first love and all, which is why I'm not denied completely, I still have the once a year because she wanted to still be able to have sex with me some times.

and Jen and I do still fool around regularly, its just that when we do she keeps her panties on, and I'm not allowed to see or touch her vagina... I get everything else though...

it really just comes down to an internal feeling I have that, I think stems from being invalidated growing up, that leads me to enjoy my wife taking off her panties for other guys and not for me.

[inivisibletwin]

From your post her I feel you have some level of disappointment about only being a cuck. Reading your introduction again it seems you thrive on this lifestyle. I guess it's really hard to figure out why a man would want to see he wife fuck other men than do it himself. Sounds like your sex life with her is actually pretty good, when you have it. Do you not satisfy her well? Too small or other issues?

At least it seems you embrace your deep desires, however they came about. Her tally of 68 is pretty remarkable!

to that point, like I said above, after I made this initial post, I went out to the living room and told Jen I was feeling a little down and it would cheer me up if she would have sex with Chris. she said she would as soon as he got home...

When Chris got home a few hours later, I was sitting with Jen in the living room. We were cuddling on the couch, her wearing only panties, me fully clothed, my arm around her, her resting her head on my shoulder. Chris got home and went straight to the shower like he usually does. She asked if I still wanted her to have sex with Chris, and I said yeah i think it would cheer me up. she kissed me, told me she loves me, and said okay, then got up and joined Chris in the shower.

20 minutes or so later I heard the shower turn off. she left the bedroom door open for me, so I listened. I heard them start having sex. I went to look and saw them in bed, missionary style, her legs wrapped around him. she looked at me, smiled, and blew a kiss to me, while Chris was thrusting in her. I smiled, blew a kiss back, and watched as she closed her eyes, leaned her head back and started moaning. I watched a bit longer, then walked away with a big smile on my face, not feeling down anymore. It actually really cheered me up, I actually felt pretty happy after that, like it satisfied some deep internal thing buried in me, and all felt right in my world... I dont know, I must have a pretty warped view of my world...

Later on jen joined me in my room, wearing panties, and climbed into bed with me. as she pressed her naked-except-for-panties body against mine, and i wrapped my arm around her, knowing that minutes prior Chris was inside her, knowing that her vagina was still his, hidden from me behind panties, knowing that she actually got up from cuddling with me to go spread her legs for, I felt actually content, and happy.

...man, is my psyche messed up or what??

[Cdncuck]

I think this is something that every cuckold wonders. My wife and I have been involved with her seeing other men since we were dating. It never seems to get old for either of us.

We've read everything we can find about it. The overall general consensus is that the motivation is a bit different for everyone. For many of us, it's related to something that happened to us when we were young such as a cheating girlfriend or a difficult home life. For others it's curiosity, voyeurism and a host of other reasons that don't have anything to do with unpleasant experiences when we were young.

In my case it's a combination of several things but the feelings of arousal began for me in my early teens. I had a couple of girlfriends cheat on me and I liked it. At that point in time there was no sex involved. They just went out with other guys and it was arousing. I also have a very strong voyeurism streak in me.

There are many posts about why men seek out cuckold experiences. We all wonder about it. We don't see much about how the women feel. What other women feel I don't know. I do know my wife has agonized over this as much as I have.

Just as not all men want to be cuckolds, not all women want to be or could be hotwives. My wife has been pondering this since day one. We have partial answers but nothing definitive. We finally learned to live with our feelings and needs.

As long as our relationship is good and we're both interested in her seeing other men, we don't worry about the why of it anymore. We're just going to enjoy it as long as we can.

[inivisibletwin]

I think this is something that every cuckold wonders. My wife and I have been involved with her seeing other men since we were dating. It never seems to get old for either of us.

We've read everything we can find about it. The overall general consensus is that the motivation is a bit different for everyone. For many of us, it's related to something that happened to us when we were young such as a cheating girlfriend or a difficult home life. For others it's curiosity, voyeurism and a host of other reasons that don't have anything to do with unpleasant experiences when we were young.

In my case it's a combination of several things but the feelings of arousal began for me in my early teens. I had a couple of girlfriends cheat on me and I liked it. At that point in time there was no sex involved. They just went out with other guys and it was arousing. I also have a very strong voyeurism streak in me.

There are many posts about why men seek out cuckold experiences. We all wonder about it. We don't see much about how the women feel. What other women feel I don't know. I do know my wife has agonized over this as much as I have.

Just as not all men want to be cuckolds, not all women want to be or could be hotwives. My wife has been pondering this since day one. We have partial answers but nothing definitive. We finally learned to live with our feelings and needs.

As long as our relationship is good and we're both interested in her seeing other men, we don't worry about the why of it anymore. We're just going to enjoy it as long as we can.

yeah, thats probly the healthiest way to do it. just accept and enjoy it, regardless of the why.

[scarlettscuck]

yeah, thats probly the healthiest way to do it. just accept and enjoy it, regardless of the why.

This is spot on IMHO. It’s just sex! There are so many ways to have sex and be intimate. My sex life is mostly in my mind now and I’ve never been more content and feel a bit liberated.

Thanks IT. Love following your lifestyle it’s so hot!

[Teensy1]

My feelings are much the same. I had a terrific sex life with my girlfriend but I loved it when my friends kissed her hello. She enjoyed it, too and liked that I would be watching and smiling. My friends knew I didn’t mind so they took liberties with her, squeezing her breasts and rubbing her ass. I found myself getting turned on by her enthusiastic response. I actually played with myself watching her. One night when she was tipsy a couple of my friends pulled out their cocks knowing that I wanted it. Next think I knew my girl was on her knees blowing them. From then on she never was truly mine again and I didn’t mind.