Where to next?

[bjpw]

My wife and I have been married for over a decade and have dabbled in many different kinds of non-monogamy and swinging, including polyamory. We have dated together as a couple as well as separately. She has known I have a cuckold fetish for a while; at first she didn't seem all that interested, though she would play around here and there with dirty talk. It seems like she has trouble owning her own desires and probably feels safer keeping things just between the two of us. However, whenever I give her the option of closing our relationship and remaining monogamous, she has always decided against it and said that she wants to find the right dynamic that works for both of us. I have done my best to show that I can be just as satisfied in a monogamous relationship while still admitting that I find the cuckold lifestyle extremely hot. She has gradually told me more and more often that she does want to try a cuckold arrangement, and nowadays when we do discuss it, it's often because she brought things up.

We have inched closer and closer to a full cuckold arrangement, but haven't fully gotten there. One of the main reasons (in my opinion) is that she has yet to have truly mindblowing sex with anyone else. I'm not bad in the bedroom—my cock is about six inches and it has made her cum more than once, though she doesn't usually come from PIV. Typically, she comes only from oral, fingers on her clit, or a vibrator. If she's extremely turned on, she has been able to come from sex with me. I'm not very fit, but I'm also not overweight at all. I'm tall and my face is about a 6/10. She has had some good sexual experiences with other guys, but for various reasons they have all kind of left her wanting. I have a feeling that she could find the right bull: dominant, charming, confident, attractive, hung, etc.

My wife is very attractive (do I get a prize for being the first husband here to claim this?). She is not only very pretty, she has a nice ass and great boobs. She's not overweight, and though she's short (5'2"), she is so proportional. For someone so short, I can't believe how nice her legs are. When she goes out, she gets hit on regularly. She's 35 but got carded recently and the bartender admitted he was surprised she was as old as she was (maybe he was flirting, but I admit that there's something to it). She doesn't have wrinkles and only this year got a couple of gray hairs which blend in with her blonde hair pretty well.

The best thing about her, though, is that she is so funny, charming, and intelligent. Truly the funniest person I know, but also able to discuss politics, art, relationships, etc. She's not the most well read person, but she makes a point of keeping up with things and can talk to just about anyone about just about any topic. Student body president in high school but not A-type or an overachiever. Just well-liked and beautiful.

It's nice to have a place on the internet to gush about my wife. She's certainly not perfect but her flaws are easily forgiven and she doesn't have a mean-spirited bone in her body, so it's hard to stay mad at her even when we fight.

I have both selfish and selfless reasons for wanting this style of relationship. Selfishly, it really turns me on to think that I am married to such a vixen who makes other guys fall all over themselves. I get a kind of perverse rush when would-be bulls full of bluster start to develop feelings or get thrown off their game by her—believe me, it's happened. I feel like I won the wife lottery. But I also find it so hot when I kind of lose her attention and she seems more interested in her phone due to some guy. I've only seen flashes of it and no guy has been able to really assert himself into that role of a dominant third FWB or boyfriend that she is giddy about seeing.

This is getting long-winded, so thank you if you've made it this far. I could write a lot more about this. I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. Though she and I are both quite social, I don't know anyone in real life that could help me sort this stuff out. I suspect that she could really let herself go with the right guy and then we'd be off to the races. But living far from a major city and with limited time for screening/dating. I'm not sure it will ever come to fruition. In the meantime, while I get off on being denied or going pussyfree, it feels like all that would be doing would be denying her of any sexual satisfcation, which is the last thing I would want.

[armyguyot1]

Y:ou are going to find that you are not alone and will find plenty of help here. We are a pretty friendly bunch so don't hold back. You can say pretty much anything as long as it's legal and hot. Get out of line and some of our VHWs with smack you down. You might enjoy that.

[bjpw]

Thanks for the reply. I have been a long time reader but haven't posted very often. I'm going to try to change that.

[athlete915]

Your post is lovely. Your genuine love for your wife is palpable and is very endearing. Yes, you have selfish reasons for wanting this, but ultimately, the desire is driven by your love for her and desire for her to be as happy and satisfied as possible. It's sweet.

(This is why wives should consider themselves so lucky to have husbands with cuckold desires.)

While it certainly sounds like your wife has yet to find the right sexual partner, I would suggest (and correct me if I am wrong) that her path actually needs to start with a guy who she finds charming and exciting outside of the bedroom. She has such a wonderful personality, and I imagine she needs to see that in a partner.

Of course, that outside-the-bedroom chemistry is only the first step. As you suggested, he also needs to be able to please her. It's not too much to ask to find a guy who can give her consistent orgasms from intercourse. If and when that happens, she'll naturally want more. Those desires and his broader appeal will inspire her to pursue something more serious with him. That's when you could have the opportunity to explore your cuckold desires finally.

Your expectations aren't unreasonable, and don't be discouraged by the lack of success so far.

[bjpw]

Thanks everyone. We actually have a date set up for Saturday with a potential bull. So far things seem on the right track with him. He's on the younger side (22) but she seems to be excited by that.

For Valentine's this year, I got her a fairly large dildo (by far the biggest thing she's had) and it definitely makes her make sounds I almost never hear from her. Last night she was having some trouble reaching orgasm with my mouth (she had an extremely stressful day at work and was having trouble turning her brain off) so she stopped me and said, "Why don't you grab the dildo?" which I was excited to do. She had no trouble after that and was soon grunting and moaning and had multiple climaxes. One of the hottest things she does after playing with that toy is she asks me to put my cock into her so she can feel the difference in size. The things she tells me are so dirty and surprising. She always used to refer to my cock as big, but now she loves whispering about how I don't fill her up all the way. Last night, she said, "You did this to me." Which sent a sexy chill down my spine.

[parklife]

Dude… just keep doing what you’re doing…. Next will reveal itself over time.

You’ve got an adventurous marriage that has dabbled in various types of ethical non-monogamy. You seem all the better for it and open to exploring new things if/when the situation is right. The only thing you can do is look for ways to potentially be in more opportunities for finding those situations.

I wouldn’t get hung up on the “truly mind blowing sex with someone else” thing…. Mindblowing sex comes from mind blowing situations/scenarios. She just needs to find the right place/right time/right guy trifecta (obviously easier said than done). Encouraging her to do more social activities alone or with other friends may put her in social situations that could encourage not only finding potential suitors but also ones that could serve as meaningful others. You mentioned not being near a major city, so “in the wild” may be your best bet for finding the right possible scenarios.

You’re wife sounds amazing…. Both inside and out. Enjoys the adventure and hope we can follow along!

[athlete915]

Thank you for the update. I hope things go well this weekend.

I had a young start with couples, so I would say that his age doesn't need to be an issue. What's important is if he is mature enough to be with a couple and all that entails, along with having the sexual ability to be there in the first place. It will help if he has any previous experiences with couples.

While size isn't everything, as you have experienced, it certainly can make a difference. The impact is pretty simple when you compare the surface area (i.e., the area of a pussy that it can stimulate) of an average-sized cock and that of a hung man. I'm sure introducing it has been a great learning experience for both of you.

If you don't mind me asking, how big is it?

It is also great to hear that she's playing along with you. It shows her growing comfort with the idea and that she grasps the mental aspect of it. I'm sure hearing her say that got you rock hard.

What she said, though, is worth considering. Before you two go too far down the path, it's worth asking yourselves and each other if you truly want this. You can't unexperience things. Things will change, so just make sure you want them to and are ready for it.

[trecital]

I don't know anyone in real life that could help me sort this stuff out.

You do now!

Watch out though, there are people on here who only have their own interest in mind, and will encourage you to do anything that turns them on.

I presume that you are also mid thirties (I think I read that your wife is that age, but I don't think you mentioned your age). The prospect of a 22 year old 'bull' for her is certainly one that I would find super hot (speaking as a cuckold). The obvious possible drawback concerns questions over his maturity at that age. I'm not saying he's not got a mature attitude, but it's something to think about.

My only other comment would be about something you said in your opening post......"She's certainly not perfect "
You, my friend, are living dangerously......

Good luck.