Found Bigger Condoms in Girlfriend's Room, Help

[Wantsomefunto]

Hope you have an update soon Henry

[HenryB12]

Update:

Mia and I just had a follow up conversation about the article I sent her and what I’m interested in, in general.

We started talking about it a couple minutes after I got to her place. Clearly it was on both of our minds. I asked her if she read the article or did any more research. She said yes and a little. I ask if she talked about it with Kate. She made this guilty face and said yes.

I remind her that it’s ok if she is discussing this with Kate. Just make sure it says between the three of us. I don’t want random people somehow knowing this about me. Also, she doesn’t have to tell me what Kate and her talk about. I ask if she has any questions.

Mia asks if she were to go through with this, would I use this as a way to sleep with another girl. Basically, she is worried about me seeing this as unfair and trying to sleep with another girl. I told her I don’t want to sleep with anyone but her. From what I’ve seen online, this is a pretty common concern from women. I did my best to reassure her that she doesn’t need to worry. And it’s not unfair, I’m into her doing it. Then we went through the main points of the article. I told her that if we were to do this, communication is very important. I also told Mia that she should only do what she is comfortable with. I don’t want her to do anything she doesn’t want to just for me. Mia said she’s not sure and it’s a lot. She doesn’t want to put our relationship at risk. I told her she doesn’t need to give a concrete answer right now. I did ask if she was leaning towards yes or no and she said maybe. These are the main points of the conversation (can’t remember everything).

Also, I defined some "lifestyle terms" for her. These being, hotwife, cuckoldress, bull, compersion, and reclaiming. Just the lower level, entry stuff.

I’d say she’s considering it. I’m not gonna pressure her to do it but I’m optimistic.

Then we got some fast food, watched love island, (I was on my phone) and I went home.

[HenryB12]

I meant share fully with Mia, acknowledging the texts that she unsent, and summarize how you are feeling in this moment. Do not make her feel bad. Comfort her and enjoy the process that is increasing your understanding as a sexual partnership.

And then move forward without shame.

If Kate teases you, laugh it off and admit your inclination but insist it's still just a fantasy.

Let Mia tell Kate whatever she wants. But, at this point, don't allow Kate to interrogate you in detail.

Look, H, I'm about as old as your grandfather. Others are suggesting you should dive in now. I say go slower.

Yeah, I did my best to not make her feel bad.

I haven't seen/interacted with Kate since before Mia sent the messages. Mia can talk with Kate about this but I don't think I'll be talking with Kate about it. Hopefully, the next time I see her, I don't make it awkward or get in my head now that I know she knows.

I'm still planning on going slow. I don't want to rush Mia.

Thanks.

I agree with dreamweaver, Mia is going to make you her cuckold.
You are not the only one that enjoys this!!! Mia has enjoyed your conversations, the fantasies and the thoughts……and I believe both Mia and Kate enjoy talking about it also.
Just be yourself and be honest……..I bet when the conversation starts, if you are honest, and tell Mia, yes the thought of you and Justin, (or someone else) turns me on like nothing else and I can’t explain it completely, but I’m glad I’ve got you to talk to about it.
I’d be interested in where she takes this

I did mention how I couldn't really explain it, but it turns me on.

[HenryB12]

Hope you have an update soon Henry

Just posted

That all sounds really good, Henry! And Mia seems very open minded to it all. I think this is the start of something really special for you two. Hopefully Kate and Mia discussed the positives and benefits of the lifestyle last night and you’ll further discuss with Mia tonight or this weekend. Please let us know. You should feel great for having the courage to be open and honest with her. It’s really a great testament to you being and becoming your true self.

From what I gathered, they definitely talked about it. I didn't pressure Mia to tell me what they talked about though. Mia is curious I'd say, but doesn't want to hurt our relationship. Mia hasn't given a yes or no, so she is still thinking about it at the very least.

Henry you are the FUCKING MAN. Amazing update, and well played on all accounts.

One thought.. you can put less pressure on her by saying things like "It would turn me on if you slept with someone else" versus "I want you to sleep with someone else," and so forth. Just something to keep in mind as you navigate all this

I appreciate the words of encouragement.

I forgot to say it like how you put it during our recent talk unfortunately. I did try to minimize pushing Mia at all.

Nice catch, H.

Nice catch on what? Don't understand, sorry.

Amazing!!!! Mia is awesome!!! And so are you.
Hoping that this leads to more communication and a deeper bond for both of you.
Henry, when we keep something in and are afraid to share it, it has a power over us………you just took over that power and shared it with Mia, I think things could be interesting

Thanks. I hope it strengthens our connection as well.

Good job Henry, hope you message Mia and ask how her visit with Kate went

I asked if she had fun but I didn't dig into what they talked about.


Thanks everyone for the advice and words of support.

[Wantsomefunto]

I hope Mia does something soon for you to test the waters. Maybe even do something with Kate together

[hornedhubby]

Re: nice catch, my commentary was partly about Mia being a nice catch and similar commentary on how well you fielded the current situation.

All good, anyway, H.

[elina]

Dear HenryB

Wonderful progress.

I haven't posted on your thread recently since I believe you got a lot of response and sound advice from others.

I still believe you are pursuing this in an excellent way. And as you say, it is important to not push agressively for this now. Focus on making sure that Mia feel how much you love Her and how much you want for Her to be pleased and satisfied; reassure Her that you will only focus on Her and want a long-term relationship with Her. She would probably continue to discuss with Kate no matter what you had stated so you allowing this makes everything so much easier for Mia.

The trick now I think is to respect that this will only be enjoyable for Mia if She is able to do this in Her own time; she must as you say do this because this is something She wants. That could take weeks, or it could take a year or more. Patience is king Here.

Sincerely
elina

[Funpa99469]

I totally agree with Elina. I think the key is to continue to get Mia more comfortable with the lifestyle and for you to further develop your open communication and trust. She still inherently thinks this is something that might damage your relationship. So, you should open with her about what the lifestyle means to you and how you see it enhancing your relationship with her and your love for her. She has to grow with the concept and see herself as wanting it on her own terms. Keep fantasizing with her about it in bed but also have conversations outside of the bedroom now and then about it. It should seem natural and not forced. And, over time Mia will adopt the lifestyle as her own hopefully.

[KevKevKev]

I think you're doing everything perfectly Henry. You have great instincts and I hope Mia is open to it. What would you like for her to do? Call up Justin for a booty call and maybe be a regular? Do you want her to have a regular? I guess I'm asking you that if you could have your dream scenario with her, what would it look like?

[hwlurker88]

I think you are doing great Henry!

There are just 2 things that I think you should communicate with Mia. Just my opinions.

1) her talking with Kate is fine, but just make sure that Kate isn't defining to Mia who you are and what you like. It's human nature for people to push their own desires and beliefs onto others. Even here you will find people telling you how deep you should go into cuckholding. Just make sure that Mia knows what you are interested in and that Kate isn't creating the narratives.

2) while reassuring Mia that you are only interested in doing things at her pace and only if she is comfortable, don't forget about you. In the same vein as the above item, make sure you are communicating what you are comfortable with as well. This needs to work for both of you! You don't want to lose her by not speaking up when things happen that you aren't comfortable with. Again, cuckholding is a very broad topic. It can get into some pretty extreme things. Just make sure you are helping keep things inside both your boundaries.

Can't wait to hear more!

[HenryB12]

I hope Mia does something soon for you to test the waters. Maybe even do something with Kate together

I hope so too. I doubt that she'll do something with Kate though.

Re: nice catch, my commentary was partly about Mia being a nice catch and similar commentary on how well you fielded the current situation.

All good, anyway, H.

The first one is what I figured. I feel as if I've become a better communicator these past couple months, even when I get pretty nervous. Also, doing more research and hearing others' past experiences on here has given me some prep to deal with certain situations/concerns.

Thanks.

Dear HenryB

Wonderful progress.

I haven't posted on your thread recently since I believe you got a lot of response and sound advice from others.

I still believe you are pursuing this in an excellent way. And as you say, it is important to not push agressively for this now. Focus on making sure that Mia feel how much you love Her and how much you want for Her to be pleased and satisfied; reassure Her that you will only focus on Her and want a long-term relationship with Her. She would probably continue to discuss with Kate no matter what you had stated so you allowing this makes everything so much easier for Mia.

The trick now I think is to respect that this will only be enjoyable for Mia if She is able to do this in Her own time; she must as you say do this because this is something She wants. That could take weeks, or it could take a year or more. Patience is king Here.

Sincerely
elina

I think so too.

I plan to do as you said in your third paragraph. Focus a lot on her being satisfied and how I only want to be with her. I agree, I figured that she would discuss it with Kate anyway, so being ok with it would be good to tell Mia.

Yeah, it's up to Mia now. She is curious but I won't force her to do this just for me. Whenever (or if) she is ready, I'll keep communicating with her, making sure she is sure she wants this.

I totally agree with Elina. I think the key is to continue to get Mia more comfortable with the lifestyle and for you to further develop your open communication and trust. She still inherently thinks this is something that might damage your relationship. So, you should open with her about what the lifestyle means to you and how you see it enhancing your relationship with her and your love for her. She has to grow with the concept and see herself as wanting it on her own terms. Keep fantasizing with her about it in bed but also have conversations outside of the bedroom now and then about it. It should seem natural and not forced. And, over time Mia will adopt the lifestyle as her own hopefully.

Yeah I agree with all this. She kept bringing up how she was worried about the change this would be in our relationship. I was reassuring her that I didn't think it would if we continued to talk about our boundaries and such.

[Funpa99469]

I think you should make a concerted effort to continue the conversation but be careful not to obsess over it. That way you can help further educate her on the lifestyle. For example, like once a week send her another link to another article or website (e.g. cuckoldmarriage.info) on the lifestyle. Or, when you two are out drinking and the inhibitions are down, suggest that you go online together and watch some cuck porn and see if she's open to it Just make sure to have the conversation move forward somehow.