New to this & learning: wife confessed she wants to be with a black man

[Imherman]

Hi everyone. Im really grateful this forum exists. I’ve been processing and trying to learn as much as I can since learning my wife wants to open the marriage and sleep with a black man.

We are happily married in our mid and late 30s and have been together 12 years, married for 6.

I’ve been cheated on before in other relationships and learned that I’m a cuck through this experience. It hurt to be cheated on but it also really turned me on and consumed my sexual fantasies.

My wife knows about this but we’ve never discussed sharing her. She sometimes tells me hot stories from her past or tell me about the men she finds attractive when we’re fooling around - I love this and never felt like pushing it further.

The idea of sharing my wife has always been in my mind as a fantasy. She’s a thicc Puerto Rican woman and gets a lot of attention from men everywhere we go.

I’ve always loved the idea of unleashing her as she has limited experience with other men. She had 1 long term bf, one FWB immediately after, then she met me.

I’ve never talked to her about moving forward because I know I’m a jealous guy and I believe I would have a lot of insecurities around it.

We haven’t discussed it at all in years but she brought it up right after sex a couple weeks ago. She asked me if I still think about it and confessed that she’s been interested in trying the hotwife lifestyle and that she wants to experience black men.

I was not ready for this confession and definitely not ready to hear she wants to try black guys. She’s never expressed interest or or mentioned any attraction. She says it’s all new for her (within the last year)

I’m torn. I dont know if I can go through with it but also can’t fathom keeping my wife from something I know she wants badly ( it must have taken a lot of courage to admit this to me).

Any time we’ve had sex since the confession all I can think about is what she wants, how she wants to give what I’m feeling to another man, how a stranger is going to feel my wife and know her intimately.

When I cum all I can think is ‘she wants to give this beautiful and intimate experience to another man’

I’m also incredibly conflicted by the interracial aspect of this. I have to admit I would be much more comfortable if it was a white guy she wanted to sleep with.

I’m hoping for any helpful insights and advice given my situation. I appreciate your time

[ucaneffher]

It must have definitely taken a lot of courage for her to be honest with you and it must also mean that she has wanted this for a while but unsure of how to tell you. I would start by thanking her for being honest and telling you how she feels/what she wants. It's all about being honest with each other and perhaps you can use that as a way to also open up to her about your feelings. Since she brought it up, you can tell her all the things you just openly told us here in writing.

You could bring it up by starting with "....I was thinking about what you said the other day." Obviously make sure to not drop a bomb on her when there are other things happening, plan a time that does not interfere with anything and allows you two to have a long a deep conversation, should the talk extend itself. Be honest about how it hurt you and turned you on at the same time, also don't be afraid to be vulnerable with her and let her know of your insecurities/jealousy. If this is something that ultimately you still want, perhaps you can compromise with her and meet somewhere in the middle? Maybe she can start with another man who is not black and depending on how things pan out, she can graduate to a BBC.

I think that now that she has opened up to you, it gives you the opportunity to truly tell you how you feel, what turns you on, what scares you, what you might consider, what your boundaries are, and so forth. Obviously listen to her and her needs/wants/fantasies/desires.

Good luck!

[elina]

Dear Imherman

Thanks for sharing.

I can understand that you are conflicted.
One side of you know from experience that you like being a cuck, but then you are afraid of the potential implications for your marriage.

At the same time, your sexy Wife has now shared with you that She wants to have an experience with a black man. I think you should truly appreciate that She is telling you this is what She wants, and not cheating on you. You should build on that by telling Her how much you love Her and how much you appreciate Her honesty. Then take the dialogue further. Share with Her what you are afraid of and see if the two of you might actually be able to enjoy moving forward together.

Sincerely
elina

[surry]

Both of you talk this over and setup some rules and a safe word. Let her know you want to see text and pictures and hear about every thing. No secrets. She is to tell you when she falls in love with some one. My wife had to stop seeing her lover because they both were falling in love.
Talk about STD's and how you both feel what if she got pregnant. The black men I know love to put babies in women. You will get jealous and excited at the same time. To train your mind read and watch porn together. Have her start denying you her pussy. She should make you jerk off while she talks to you how much she needs a black man. She should make you beg her to find a black man. Do you both have a black friend? It is better if you both have a friend than a stranger. A black friend can work with you two and make sex more fun.

[subbieCuck]

A)Dont ever make her feel shame.
B)Follow your heart.
C)Have open discussions with her, reach an agreement.

And , if I were you, I would be super excited.