Poll for active cuckolds

[coastalkid]

I'm just curious about people that are active right now in the cuckold lifestyle and how long they've been doing it successfully. For others that aren't active and once was a cuckold please feel free to post how long you were one and why you stopped. Thanks!

[theothercuck]

I was cucked for about 16 years. My marriage fell apart, so then I became a bull.

[Thebestdays1]

My wife was fucking other men and women during our engagement in 1981 right up until the end of 2000, a couple of years before we split up.

[Cdncuck]

My wife started fucking other guys when we were dating. We're considerably older now so we don't participate as often as we once did but we still play.

[ucaneffher]

Currently a wanna-be again but shared my then GF for 7 years in the past. I never considered myself a cuckold back then but more of a stag simply because I was never into humiliation, degradation, feminization , or had interest in men or man-to-man contact.

It was roughly 2-3 years after I ended our relationship that I came to terms that I was a cuckold. It took me some time to accept it as well as embrace it. I realized that I didn't have to be or do any of those traits that I mentioned above to be classified as a cuckold.

The fact that she only had to do minimal convincing in order for me to step aside for her to date another man/ allow another man to publicly date her, the act of being supportive of her going to live with another man, and lastly, the act of publicly accepting and abiding by her rules of me not interfering or blowing the cover that she belonged to him; these actions all helped me realize that I was indeed a cuckold at heart whether I wanted to accept it or not, and I did but only years after the break up.

I left her both because of many non lifestyle issues as well as the jealousy of seeing her going ALL the way with her boyfriend and publicly playing along with it. She had been with him for 3 years and publicly everyone only saw her with him. I was her secret side guy. Essentially the tables turned and she was cucking him with me.

It was sexy and scorching hot those entire 7 years of seeing her as my promiscuous gf. Until she became HIS promiscuous girlfriend.

[coastalkid]

I was cucked for about 16 years. My marriage fell apart, so then I became a bull.

Did your experience as a cuckold give you insights as to how to be a good bull?

[coastalkid]

My wife started fucking other guys when we were dating. We're considerably older now so we don't participate as often as we once did but we still play.

How old is older because I'm sure that even though you say you "don't play as often as you used to" many of us will/would be jealous that you PLAY AT ALL?

[coastalkid]

Currently a wanna-be again but shared my then GF for 7 years in the past. I never considered myself a cuckold back then but more of a stag simply because I was never into humiliation, degradation, feminization , or had interest in men or man-to-man contact.

It was roughly 2-3 years after I ended our relationship that I came to terms that I was a cuckold. It took me some time to accept it as well as embrace it. I realized that I didn't have to be or do any of those traits that I mentioned above to be classified as a cuckold.

The fact that she only had to do minimal convincing in order for me to step aside for her to date another man/ allow another man to publicly date her, the act of being supportive of her going to live with another man, and lastly, the act of publicly accepting and abiding by her rules of me not interfering or blowing the cover that she belonged to him; these actions all helped me realize that I was indeed a cuckold at heart whether I wanted to accept it or not, and I did but only years after the break up.

I left her both because of many non lifestyle issues as well as the jealousy of seeing her going ALL the way with her boyfriend and publicly playing along with it. She had been with him for 3 years and publicly everyone only saw her with him. I was her secret side guy. Essentially the tables turned and she was cucking him with me.

It was sexy and scorching hot those entire 7 years of seeing her as my promiscuous gf. Until she became HIS promiscuous girlfriend.

Thanks for your response! I recognized your user name. I know you've been here a long time. That alone means something to me!

I think one of the many things I've learned here is that the definition of what a cuckold is and how they act/behave is very wide and loosely defined. There are many aspects of being a cuckold that I know would be a "non-starter" for me. When someone says they couldn't do this or they couldn't do that you often you read a post like, "Well, then this isn't the life for you!"

I've observed that each specific relationship has its own unique path, rules and implementation. Some couples may practice very similarly but no two seem to be alike. That's why I believe you are correct in saying you don't have to have the humiliation, degradation, feminization, man to man contact, or as in my greatest deal breaker, denial to be a cuckold. You at a minimum have to have a wife that fucks somebody else while you're married.

I've also learned from you and others here that, of the people on this website, over the years, only a handful have made this work in their own way. Countless others have come and gone. Their candles burned bright, but not for long! It's rare that couples match up sexually AND prove themselves committed to each other's love and best interests.

[coastalkid]

Currently a wanna-be again but shared my then GF for 7 years in the past. I never considered myself a cuckold back then but more of a stag simply because I was never into humiliation, degradation, feminization , or had interest in men or man-to-man contact.

It was roughly 2-3 years after I ended our relationship that I came to terms that I was a cuckold. It took me some time to accept it as well as embrace it. I realized that I didn't have to be or do any of those traits that I mentioned above to be classified as a cuckold.

The fact that she only had to do minimal convincing in order for me to step aside for her to date another man/ allow another man to publicly date her, the act of being supportive of her going to live with another man, and lastly, the act of publicly accepting and abiding by her rules of me not interfering or blowing the cover that she belonged to him; these actions all helped me realize that I was indeed a cuckold at heart whether I wanted to accept it or not, and I did but only years after the break up.

I left her both because of many non lifestyle issues as well as the jealousy of seeing her going ALL the way with her boyfriend and publicly playing along with it. She had been with him for 3 years and publicly everyone only saw her with him. I was her secret side guy. Essentially the tables turned and she was cucking him with me.

It was sexy and scorching hot those entire 7 years of seeing her as my promiscuous gf. Until she became HIS promiscuous girlfriend.

Thanks for your response! I recognized your user name. I know you've been here a long time. That alone means something to me!

I think one of the many things I've learned here is that the definition of what a cuckold is and how they act/behave is very wide and loosely defined. There are many aspects of being a cuckold that I know would be a "non-starter" for me. When someone says they couldn't do this or they couldn't do that you often you read a post like, "Well, then this isn't the life for you!"

I've observed that each specific relationship has its own unique path, rules and implementation. Some couples may practice very similarly but no two seem to be alike. That's why I believe you are correct in saying you don't have to have the humiliation, degradation, feminization, man to man contact, or as in my greatest deal breaker, denial to be a cuckold. You at a minimum have to have a wife that fucks somebody else while you're married.

I've also learned from you and others here that, of the people on this website, over the years, only a handful have made this work in their own way. Countless others have come and gone. Their candles burned bright, but not for long! It's rare that couples match up sexually AND prove themselves committed to each other's love and best interests.

[theothercuck]

I was cucked for about 16 years. My marriage fell apart, so then I became a bull.

Did your experience as a cuckold give you insights as to how to be a good bull?

I think the biggest benefit is I can usually spot a cuck now. If a guy makes a casual comment about an attractive doctor doing his wife's breast exam or something, my cuck radar goes off. It also gave me more confidence to do it, I was usually pretty timid around married woman before becoming a cuckold, worried that I might upset their husbands. Now I know that it's not so bad for a lot of guys I go for it.

[parklife]

My wife has been active for 6-7 of the last 11 years. Two stints. First, after finally going thru with it, she was active 3-4 years then took a 2+yr break. Then she started up again for another three or so years and after a bad breakup with her FWB, she’s now gone two years or so with nothing. Felt like she might play a little more earlier this year but it didn’t happen.


She may be done, she may not…. Depends on who she meets and when. It was a difficult end to her last FWB (emotionally speaking), and it’s made her a bit gun shy to further engage. But she knows if the right situation comes along, she’s able to explore it.

[ucaneffher]

Currently a wanna-be again but shared my then GF for 7 years in the past. I never considered myself a cuckold back then but more of a stag simply because I was never into humiliation, degradation, feminization , or had interest in men or man-to-man contact.

It was roughly 2-3 years after I ended our relationship that I came to terms that I was a cuckold. It took me some time to accept it as well as embrace it. I realized that I didn't have to be or do any of those traits that I mentioned above to be classified as a cuckold.

The fact that she only had to do minimal convincing in order for me to step aside for her to date another man/ allow another man to publicly date her, the act of being supportive of her going to live with another man, and lastly, the act of publicly accepting and abiding by her rules of me not interfering or blowing the cover that she belonged to him; these actions all helped me realize that I was indeed a cuckold at heart whether I wanted to accept it or not, and I did but only years after the break up.

I left her both because of many non lifestyle issues as well as the jealousy of seeing her going ALL the way with her boyfriend and publicly playing along with it. She had been with him for 3 years and publicly everyone only saw her with him. I was her secret side guy. Essentially the tables turned and she was cucking him with me.

It was sexy and scorching hot those entire 7 years of seeing her as my promiscuous gf. Until she became HIS promiscuous girlfriend.

Thanks for your response! I recognized your user name. I know you've been here a long time. That alone means something to me!

I have indeed been here for many years, I just checked my profile and realized it was all the way from 2007! Jesus.... Although I've been around a little longer since 2002-03 in the old board before ohw became this current board. I recall because the gf and I were in high school when we started discussing her seeing others. I would go on the old board and find erotic wife sharing stories which she loved and admitted getting very wet and horny as I read them aloud.
I think those are 75% the reason why she actually became interested in the lifestyle btw.

Anyway, Thank you for that I feel like I don't often contribute meaningful insight and instead my posts might be interpreted as fantasy or jerking material for some of the perverted cucks on here and for everyone else it's just fake or unrealistic BS. Although I can I assure you that the stories I've shared have been indeed lived by me with the ex. I certainly would not hesitate to relive these stories with my current gf and would more than willingly allow her to mold and re-shape me entirely to her needs just like my ex did, of course while observing my boundaries listed in my previous post. Those are firm and non- negotiable, everything else is fair game.

I think one of the many things I've learned here is that the definition of what a cuckold is and how they act/behave is very wide and loosely defined. There are many aspects of being a cuckold that I know would be a "non-starter" for me. When someone says they couldn't do this or they couldn't do that you often you read a post like, "Well, then this isn't the life for you!"

I've observed that each specific relationship has its own unique path, rules and implementation. Some couples may practice very similarly but no two seem to be alike. That's why I believe you are correct in saying you don't have to have the humiliation, degradation, feminization, man to man contact, or as in my greatest deal breaker, denial to be a cuckold. You at a minimum have to have a wife that fucks somebody else while you're married.

Exactly! I was one of those folks who thought of the lifestyle as one that every cuckold out there was made by the same cookie cutter and all had to follow the same script. However, I realized that we all have different temperaments, personalities, likes, wants, and needs so there is no way that what you like will work for me and vice versa. Some men like being treated like crap by their hotwife and her lovers but want her home every night and she only sees men 3 times s year.

Meanwhile for me, I want my lady and her men to treat me with respect but I want her to really engage and connect with her lovers. I prefer her going out almost daily, gone many weekend. I prefer her lovers to respectfully show me that my lady is addicted to them and belongs to them without having to be disrespectful.

Cuckold - one giant label for a large amount of styles and likes. Those were just two examples but there are dozens if not hundreds of variations. Each couple does what works best for them. For example, My ex was submissive at first when we started but after 2 years and over half dozen men into the lifestyle, I gave her the key AND handed her the wheel. During the first 2 years I was controlling all the moves but I wanted to give her power as well as have one area in my life where I didn't have to be in charge, it was refreshing to give up control. This was when we agreed she would identify as single. She was now in charge and decided entirely who she had sex with, when, where, how frequently, how much of it, needed zero permission and did not have to give me advance notice as long as she eventually told me. This is what actually opened doors for her to start seeing former classmates of mine and also sleeping with direct friends of my friends. I actually really enjoyed becoming closer with a classmate who wasn't really a close friend but we became real close after he started dating my gf.

I've also learned from you and others here that, of the people on this website, over the years, only a handful have made this work in their own way. Countless others have come and gone. Their candles burned bright, but not for long! It's rare that couples match up sexually AND prove themselves committed to each other's love and best interests.

You are 100% correct. I learned that the lifestyle requires your relationship to be solid in all other areas for it to work long-term. If you have weak areas in your relationship, the lifestyle will only put strain on it and truly test it. We were together for a long time and loved the lifestyle for 7 years. Yes we both enjoyed it. Yes I definitely got carried away with it and was very pushy with her during moments of arousal. We should have addressed all of our issues first before diving in with both feet, not to mention her having full blown relationships with other men while I placed myself on standby. I learned to be patient and to make sure that every t is crossed and every i is dotted before attempting to really get into the lifestyle. My gf is aware, knows I want it, knows I get really turned on and has confirmed it by going on many dates and has left me alone in public to pursue and interact with other men in front of me but we both know that we have our few issues pending to iron out.

I've refrained from excessively talking about the lifestyle and pushing her like I did with the ex but I know that once we address our issues and both sides are satisfied and feel safe with each other, I will be more encouraging and open about my desires to see her dating. Initially after coming clean about my fantasy, she expressed interest in having another boyfriend, connecting with him, and being intimate with him/having a sex life with him. She also expressed wanting to try group sex where it is her duty to satisfy multiple men and she allows them to do whatever they want to her in order to make sure they are sexually satisfied and taken care of. I can get used to both of those scenarios with her and would be happy seeing her form a relationship with another man or would be happy setting up weekly gangbangs for my lady to fulfill her needs to satisfy multiple men at once, perhaps taking her to lifestyle clubs to help her live out that fantasy. Whatever it is that she wants, I can be shaped and molded to her needs as long as I am included --even if the inclusion is from a corner in the room or from afar.

[coastalkid]

My wife has been active for 6-7 of the last 11 years. Two stints. First, after finally going thru with it, she was active 3-4 years then took a 2+yr break. Then she started up again for another three or so years and after a bad breakup with her FWB, she’s now gone two years or so with nothing. Felt like she might play a little more earlier this year but it didn’t happen.


She may be done, she may not…. Depends on who she meets and when. It was a difficult end to her last FWB (emotionally speaking), and it’s made her a bit gun shy to further engage. But she knows if the right situation comes along, she’s able to explore it.

Thanks for your reply. You are also a user name that I've recognized for several years on this website. I value your posts and your insights, thank you for your thoughtful participation.

The emotional connection that many wives need to make the experience fulfilling is the tricky part by my observation. There seems to be a sort of evolution that occurs with the emotional connection that reveals itself over time. The tricky part in my observation is that while the wife/gf wants an emotional bond at some level it in turn requires the lover/sex partner to develop some sort of recognizable bond that affirms what the the wife/gf needs or wants.

Often I read that wives are reluctant to share the full depth of their emotional bond with their husbands. They fear the response from their husband in that they may react negatively or that they KNOW they will react negatively. The lover is an even greater unknown regarding their intentions and the depth of their emotional bond as that would have to be shared by the wife or learned directly from the lover to the husband.

It is obvious to me that the phrase, "It's only about sex and nothing more!" is over stated, over simplified and not entirely accurate in all cases. I've often read about a "bad breakup" and how that affected the wife's attitude and behavior. When things are good they are good and when they are bad they are bad. Either way those feelings and attitudes are brought home and then become a burden or blessing for the husband too. Not much of this dynamic and its repercussions are talked about much here.

[coastalkid]

Currently a wanna-be again but shared my then GF for 7 years in the past. I never considered myself a cuckold back then but more of a stag simply because I was never into humiliation, degradation, feminization , or had interest in men or man-to-man contact.

It was roughly 2-3 years after I ended our relationship that I came to terms that I was a cuckold. It took me some time to accept it as well as embrace it. I realized that I didn't have to be or do any of those traits that I mentioned above to be classified as a cuckold.

The fact that she only had to do minimal convincing in order for me to step aside for her to date another man/ allow another man to publicly date her, the act of being supportive of her going to live with another man, and lastly, the act of publicly accepting and abiding by her rules of me not interfering or blowing the cover that she belonged to him; these actions all helped me realize that I was indeed a cuckold at heart whether I wanted to accept it or not, and I did but only years after the break up.

I left her both because of many non lifestyle issues as well as the jealousy of seeing her going ALL the way with her boyfriend and publicly playing along with it. She had been with him for 3 years and publicly everyone only saw her with him. I was her secret side guy. Essentially the tables turned and she was cucking him with me.

It was sexy and scorching hot those entire 7 years of seeing her as my promiscuous gf. Until she became HIS promiscuous girlfriend.

Thanks for your response! I recognized your user name. I know you've been here a long time. That alone means something to me!

I have indeed been here for many years, I just checked my profile and realized it was all the way from 2007! Jesus.... Although I've been around a little longer since 2002-03 in the old board before ohw became this current board. I recall because the gf and I were in high school when we started discussing her seeing others. I would go on the old board and find erotic wife sharing stories which she loved and admitted getting very wet and horny as I read them aloud.
I think those are 75% the reason why she actually became interested in the lifestyle btw.

Anyway, Thank you for that I feel like I don't often contribute meaningful insight and instead my posts might be interpreted as fantasy or jerking material for some of the perverted cucks on here and for everyone else it's just fake or unrealistic BS. Although I can I assure you that the stories I've shared have been indeed lived by me with the ex. I certainly would not hesitate to relive these stories with my current gf and would more than willingly allow her to mold and re-shape me entirely to her needs just like my ex did, of course while observing my boundaries listed in my previous post. Those are firm and non- negotiable, everything else is fair game.

I think one of the many things I've learned here is that the definition of what a cuckold is and how they act/behave is very wide and loosely defined. There are many aspects of being a cuckold that I know would be a "non-starter" for me. When someone says they couldn't do this or they couldn't do that you often you read a post like, "Well, then this isn't the life for you!"

I've observed that each specific relationship has its own unique path, rules and implementation. Some couples may practice very similarly but no two seem to be alike. That's why I believe you are correct in saying you don't have to have the humiliation, degradation, feminization, man to man contact, or as in my greatest deal breaker, denial to be a cuckold. You at a minimum have to have a wife that fucks somebody else while you're married.

Exactly! I was one of those folks who thought of the lifestyle as one that every cuckold out there was made by the same cookie cutter and all had to follow the same script. However, I realized that we all have different temperaments, personalities, likes, wants, and needs so there is no way that what you like will work for me and vice versa. Some men like being treated like crap by their hotwife and her lovers but want her home every night and she only sees men 3 times s year.

Meanwhile for me, I want my lady and her men to treat me with respect but I want her to really engage and connect with her lovers. I prefer her going out almost daily, gone many weekend. I prefer her lovers to respectfully show me that my lady is addicted to them and belongs to them without having to be disrespectful.

Cuckold - one giant label for a large amount of styles and likes. Those were just two examples but there are dozens if not hundreds of variations. Each couple does what works best for them. For example, My ex was submissive at first when we started but after 2 years and over half dozen men into the lifestyle, I gave her the key AND handed her the wheel. During the first 2 years I was controlling all the moves but I wanted to give her power as well as have one area in my life where I didn't have to be in charge, it was refreshing to give up control. This was when we agreed she would identify as single. She was now in charge and decided entirely who she had sex with, when, where, how frequently, how much of it, needed zero permission and did not have to give me advance notice as long as she eventually told me. This is what actually opened doors for her to start seeing former classmates of mine and also sleeping with direct friends of my friends. I actually really enjoyed becoming closer with a classmate who wasn't really a close friend but we became real close after he started dating my gf.

I've also learned from you and others here that, of the people on this website, over the years, only a handful have made this work in their own way. Countless others have come and gone. Their candles burned bright, but not for long! It's rare that couples match up sexually AND prove themselves committed to each other's love and best interests.

You are 100% correct. I learned that the lifestyle requires your relationship to be solid in all other areas for it to work long-term. If you have weak areas in your relationship, the lifestyle will only put strain on it and truly test it. We were together for a long time and loved the lifestyle for 7 years. Yes we both enjoyed it. Yes I definitely got carried away with it and was very pushy with her during moments of arousal. We should have addressed all of our issues first before diving in with both feet, not to mention her having full blown relationships with other men while I placed myself on standby. I learned to be patient and to make sure that every t is crossed and every i is dotted before attempting to really get into the lifestyle. My gf is aware, knows I want it, knows I get really turned on and has confirmed it by going on many dates and has left me alone in public to pursue and interact with other men in front of me but we both know that we have our few issues pending to iron out.

I've refrained from excessively talking about the lifestyle and pushing her like I did with the ex but I know that once we address our issues and both sides are satisfied and feel safe with each other, I will be more encouraging and open about my desires to see her dating. Initially after coming clean about my fantasy, she expressed interest in having another boyfriend, connecting with him, and being intimate with him/having a sex life with him. She also expressed wanting to try group sex where it is her duty to satisfy multiple men and she allows them to do whatever they want to her in order to make sure they are sexually satisfied and taken care of. I can get used to both of those scenarios with her and would be happy seeing her form a relationship with another man or would be happy setting up weekly gangbangs for my lady to fulfill her needs to satisfy multiple men at once, perhaps taking her to lifestyle clubs to help her live out that fantasy. Whatever it is that she wants, I can be shaped and molded to her needs as long as I am included --even if the inclusion is from a corner in the room or from afar.

Thanks for your reply! My wife knows that I get excited about the idea of her having other men. I admitted it to her. I immediately told her that I didn't expect her to do anything she didn't want to do, merely that I found the idea to be exciting to me. She said the ubiquitous, "Never gonna happen!" I told her that I expected that response and I understood.

I asked her if she could tease me with the fantasy during sex knowing full well it was a fantasy and nothing more. We've been together a long time (47 years this summer) and I've struggled to get hard a few times too many from our routine sex. She knows I love sex and she saw how badly it affected me when I couldn't perform. To her credit she indulged me and that alone has made a world of difference. She has gone from timid and awkward to stuff that has even surprised me!

Even if it's just in the bedroom, that communication is a necessary first step in my opinion. You can't have further and deeper discussions without having a starting place and those further and deeper discussions are necessary to insure success, once again my opinion. I've learned I can't push things. They have to happen in a natural way.

At the present, I'm enjoying the "dirty talk" in bed and deriving satisfaction from knowing that those thoughts are tumbling around in her head. As a consequence we've had more frequent and better sex and not as much routine, obligatory sex. I am/we are a far cry from what you often read here but not everyone gets to enjoy this lifestyle so immediately.

Thanks again for you thoughtful reply!

[hornedhubby]

Good discussion. I do not agree, coastalkid, that "only a handful made this work in their own way."

As of this instant, 79 percent of your poll respondents are reporting doing this for five years or longer, including 49 percent at 10 or 20 years or longer. I think that supports a more optimistic verdict.

Yes, thousands of wannabe guys (not unlike you and me), have come and gone on this forum. Most unable to get it to happen; some having it blow up in their faces, even wreck their relationships. I wouldn't speculate on the percentages.

But I think you underestimate the percentage of success stories. I believe members get frustrated with a lack of story feedback and decide to hell with the forum, let's just have fun with this and carry on.

I certainly agree there are as many versions of this dynamic as there are couples playing with it.

Men understood there was danger playing with fire when Prometheus turned them on to it. But they learned how to use it, safely, to cook, heat, and only a relative few got seriously burned in the process.

I could be naive and utterly wrong. But when love and respect are strong between hubby and wife, I believe the risk is reasonably low.

The question a wannabe hubby should ask himself is: am I willing to let her fly like a bird or am I trying to fly her like a kite? If the answer is the latter, he probably will be unable to cope with the complications.

No offense intended to anyone.

[Desiplayer]

We have been in this lifestyle past 8 years ..we evolved from hotwife to combined both and now very active..don’t think wife or myself will stop. We ran into fe communicating issues couple of times and we resolved it, it actually made this lifestyle stronger ..only mini break wife took was when she has the 2 kids for period of 3-5months for both ..

[coastalkid]

Good discussion. I do not agree, coastalkid, that "only a handful made this work in their own way."

Yes, thousands of wannabe guys (not unlike you and me), have come and gone on this forum. Most unable to get it to happen; some having it blow up in their faces, even wreck their relationships. I wouldn't speculate on the percentages.

But I think you underestimate the percentage of success stories. I believe members get frustrated with a lack of story feedback and decide to hell with the forum, let's just have fun with this and carry on.

I certainly agree there are as many versions of this dynamic as there are couples playing with it.

Men understood there was danger playing with fire when Prometheus turned them on to it. But they learned how to use it, safely, to cook, heat, and only a relative few got seriously burned in the process.

I could be naive and utterly wrong. But when love and respect are strong between hubby and wife, I believe the risk is reasonably low.

The question a wannabe hubby should ask himself is: am I willing to let her fly like a bird or am I trying to fly her like a kite? If the answer is the latter, he probably will be unable to cope with the complications.

No offense intended to anyone.

Thanks for your reply and I'm definitely not offended in any way by it.

In regard to my self assumed numbers of people/couples "that have made it work in their own way", I limited my observation to people that post here. I acknowledge that in no way is that an accurate measure in reality. I am assuming that by projecting the numbers, by my experience here, there have been more unsuccessful attempts than there have been successful ones.

I agree with you and do not believe it to be naive to assume that when the love and respect are strong that the risk is low. I also know that things change when new experiences are introduced. New dynamics require a re-calibration to accommodate for the new aspect of the addition.

Take for instance wives that need an emotional connection with their lover. They have a whole new set of feelings that don't always follow a predictable pattern. Husbands of wives that need that emotional connection must learn to trust their wives that the emotional connection doesn't become a threat to their marriage. Not all wives seem to control their emotions reasonably. A lot of communication is lost or left out.

Once again, this is only my opinion from my observations here and not based in actual numbers. In every other part of your post I am in full agreement.

[ucaneffher]

The question a wannabe hubby should ask himself is: am I willing to let her fly like a bird or am I trying to fly her like a kite? If the answer is the latter, he probably will be unable to cope with the complications.

No offense intended to anyone.

Wow, never thought of it that way but that is such a simple yet accurate way to explain it.

I want to add a little something to it if I may. Sometimes we cuckolds want one thing, do it, get cold feet and revert or change our mind which also hurts the relationship when you are wishy washy like that. It's important to thoroughly think of consequences and long term possibilities before jumping into a dynamic that may not be sustainable in your relationship.

In my case, it started as the kite example but was getting hints of a free bird along the way and it turned me on. We both liked the free bird dynamic and decided to fully dive into it. For years she flew free as a bird, until I no longer could handle it and felt threatened by it and the male birds that she was flying with. It was too late to go back to flying a kite, she tasted freedom and wanted that full time.

Not being able to go back to kite flying is one of the many reasons why I exited that relationship but funny enough, not long after leaving it, I realized that I would have learned to get used to having my free bird. For many years I felt terrible for walking out on her and wishing I would've accepted my "destiny" as a cuck with a "free bird".

Years have passed, I've healed, I've reflected on past experiences and mistakes. With my new knowledge and and experiences, I can say that I am mentally and emotionally more prepared to try again and not to fly a kite but to give her the freedom to fly free like a bird. The difference is that this time there would be a solid base relationship, no impulsivity, better communication, better ground rules, and well defined boundaries.

Not only that but ensuring we are on the same page and with the same end goal. In my case, the absolute farthest that I want to go is us forming a poly triad where she has a boyfriend, we all move in together, he and I share her but with the agreement and acceptance that it will be a cuckold dynamic poly relationship. Inside of our home he takes over and becomes her main partner, main sexual partner just shy of exclusive. This means in our home he has the right to claim her full time and is actually the one who shares a bedroom with her. They don't hold back in our home and I am a full time spectator of their relationship. The exception is that we still kiss and cuddle when he isn't present and she has the option to stay the night with me in my bed as much as she wants but at least once per week is a must in order for us to cuddle and reconnect. I still want penetrative sex but would be willing to settle for only birthday and anniversary sex if it meant him getting action 3-5 times a week.

Honestly that is an arrangement that I would love to try during the time that the GF and I are engaged and planning for our wedding. Perhaps try it out for a period of 6, 12, 18 months to see if it is something that the 3 of us like and works for us. If it does work out where we all like him being the main man and the 3 of us have a strong connection and friendship, then we can figure out if he comes to the honeymoon with us and continues as a long term main partner to her in our home.

[parklife]

The emotional connection that many wives need to make the experience fulfilling is the tricky part by my observation. There seems to be a sort of evolution that occurs with the emotional connection that reveals itself over time. The tricky part in my observation is that while the wife/gf wants an emotional bond at some level it in turn requires the lover/sex partner to develop some sort of recognizable bond that affirms what the the wife/gf needs or wants.

Often I read that wives are reluctant to share the full depth of their emotional bond with their husbands. They fear the response from their husband in that they may react negatively or that they KNOW they will react negatively. The lover is an even greater unknown regarding their intentions and the depth of their emotional bond as that would have to be shared by the wife or learned directly from the lover to the husband.

It is obvious to me that the phrase, "It's only about sex and nothing more!" is over stated, over simplified and not entirely accurate in all cases. I've often read about a "bad breakup" and how that affected the wife's attitude and behavior. When things are good they are good and when they are bad they are bad. Either way those feelings and attitudes are brought home and then become a burden or blessing for the husband too. Not much of this dynamic and its repercussions are talked about much here.

It’s only tricky in so far as the couple aren’t clear on their goals/needs. The emotional part itself isn’t tricky (or at least doesn’t need to be). Look, for as many different variations as there are there are far fewer core drivers behind them. You have those people/couples that do this for the sexual thrill, as an adventure…. Theoretically emotions play far less a role there because the motivation isn’t emotional or additional, it’s transactional. The opening of the relationship to bring in adventure/thrill/newness/the adrenaline surge of going against the grain or societal norm.

On the other hand, you have those situations that are more about fulfillment and being… adding something that feels natural and right (be dammed societal norms). Emotions play a larger role and provided you find three people with the same view point, things can work out pretty well. Some look at emotions as water being passed between two cups. If one cup has all the water and some starts being passed to the other, the first cup loses and the second cup gains. For some of us, emotions are like two cups but both can be filled with a pitcher of water. It’s not a zero sum gain, but just more added to the mix. My wife’s love of her FWB didn’t diminish her feelings for me. They were just in addition.

Both scenarios can be successful. For those that are simply sexual thrill based, they can come and go as people explore and test their personal boundaries, learn about themselves, sexual curiosities and interests build and wane. They may visit, test things out and leave these boards thru no fault of anyone, just that their interest peaked and later diminished.

And sure, if people aren’t on the same page, if people need different things… if the husband is sitting in the sexual adventure camp and the wife is looking at longer term relationship addditions, they may not see eye to eye. If he wants transaction and she desires investment, yeah, it may be doomed to failure. People’s wants/desires/interests/abilities change over time. That’s why communication is so important… to try and stay grounded and open to each others role and ownership of the relationship.

It’s also why these situations seem to favor couples from long term relationships. Couples that have already figured out how to communicate with and to each other. I can’t imagine having a hot wife/cuck relationship with a girl I’ve dated a couple years… or truly engaged in this as a young adult…. Those were times I was still exploring and finding what I wanted… so, sure… it could have been part of that exploration, but not to the depth and desire I feel now. My wife has no qualms about telling me the emotional side of things. Because she knows how i’ll react and knows what i think because I’ve got a track record of 25 years we’ve shared our thoughts and feelings with each other. Yes, early in her adventures she may have tiptoed with some reluctance as we explored this new world together, but that’s just it, we did it together and my reactions and response helped pave the way for her openness.

For some, it’s not an oversimplification, it IS just about sex. And that’s perfectly ok too.. it’s not for me and it’s definitely not for my wife. And all breakups are bad when real love and emotion are involved. As they should be. She no you love something and lose it, it’s hard. No way around it…. A parent, a pet, a treasured object or a lover… the loss is difficult and helping someone thru it is never a burden and often is self cathartic as well. My heart breaks when my wife’s heart breaks. Not for him, not for the loss of my sexual thrill but because when she hurts, I hurt. And then we begin the process of healing. None of it’s a burden… but yeah, it does suck.

And you’re right…. It’s not talked about all that ouch because at its core, this board is about various sexual thrills and the people that come here to read about them. Not many people are hear to read about holding your wife as she weeps and cries for a lost love while you do your best to console her and help her thru her pain. And expecting people to do so would be some sort of masochism to sit back and want to read that no matter how much validity there may be to seeing all sides of the situation.

[coastalkid]

The emotional connection that many wives need to make the experience fulfilling is the tricky part by my observation. There seems to be a sort of evolution that occurs with the emotional connection that reveals itself over time. The tricky part in my observation is that while the wife/gf wants an emotional bond at some level it in turn requires the lover/sex partner to develop some sort of recognizable bond that affirms what the the wife/gf needs or wants.

Often I read that wives are reluctant to share the full depth of their emotional bond with their husbands. They fear the response from their husband in that they may react negatively or that they KNOW they will react negatively. The lover is an even greater unknown regarding their intentions and the depth of their emotional bond as that would have to be shared by the wife or learned directly from the lover to the husband.

It is obvious to me that the phrase, "It's only about sex and nothing more!" is over stated, over simplified and not entirely accurate in all cases. I've often read about a "bad breakup" and how that affected the wife's attitude and behavior. When things are good they are good and when they are bad they are bad. Either way those feelings and attitudes are brought home and then become a burden or blessing for the husband too. Not much of this dynamic and its repercussions are talked about much here.

It’s only tricky in so far as the couple aren’t clear on their goals/needs. The emotional part itself isn’t tricky (or at least doesn’t need to be). Look, for as many different variations as there are there are far fewer core drivers behind them. You have those people/couples that do this for the sexual thrill, as an adventure…. Theoretically emotions play far less a role there because the motivation isn’t emotional or additional, it’s transactional. The opening of the relationship to bring in adventure/thrill/newness/the adrenaline surge of going against the grain or societal norm.

On the other hand, you have those situations that are more about fulfillment and being… adding something that feels natural and right (be dammed societal norms). Emotions play a larger role and provided you find three people with the same view point, things can work out pretty well. Some look at emotions as water being passed between two cups. If one cup has all the water and some starts being passed to the other, the first cup loses and the second cup gains. For some of us, emotions are like two cups but both can be filled with a pitcher of water. It’s not a zero sum gain, but just more added to the mix. My wife’s love of her FWB didn’t diminish her feelings for me. They were just in addition.

Both scenarios can be successful. For those that are simply sexual thrill based, they can come and go as people explore and test their personal boundaries, learn about themselves, sexual curiosities and interests build and wane. They may visit, test things out and leave these boards thru no fault of anyone, just that their interest peaked and later diminished.

And sure, if people aren’t on the same page, if people need different things… if the husband is sitting in the sexual adventure camp and the wife is looking at longer term relationship addditions, they may not see eye to eye. If he wants transaction and she desires investment, yeah, it may be doomed to failure. People’s wants/desires/interests/abilities change over time. That’s why communication is so important… to try and stay grounded and open to each others role and ownership of the relationship.

It’s also why these situations seem to favor couples from long term relationships. Couples that have already figured out how to communicate with and to each other. I can’t imagine having a hot wife/cuck relationship with a girl I’ve dated a couple years… or truly engaged in this as a young adult…. Those were times I was still exploring and finding what I wanted… so, sure… it could have been part of that exploration, but not to the depth and desire I feel now. My wife has no qualms about telling me the emotional side of things. Because she knows how i’ll react and knows what i think because I’ve got a track record of 25 years we’ve shared our thoughts and feelings with each other. Yes, early in her adventures she may have tiptoed with some reluctance as we explored this new world together, but that’s just it, we did it together and my reactions and response helped pave the way for her openness.

For some, it’s not an oversimplification, it IS just about sex. And that’s perfectly ok too.. it’s not for me and it’s definitely not for my wife. And all breakups are bad when real love and emotion are involved. As they should be. She no you love something and lose it, it’s hard. No way around it…. A parent, a pet, a treasured object or a lover… the loss is difficult and helping someone thru it is never a burden and often is self cathartic as well. My heart breaks when my wife’s heart breaks. Not for him, not for the loss of my sexual thrill but because when she hurts, I hurt. And then we begin the process of healing. None of it’s a burden… but yeah, it does suck.

And you’re right…. It’s not talked about all that ouch because at its core, this board is about various sexual thrills and the people that come here to read about them. Not many people are hear to read about holding your wife as she weeps and cries for a lost love while you do your best to console her and help her thru her pain. And expecting people to do so would be some sort of masochism to sit back and want to read that no matter how much validity there may be to seeing all sides of the situation.

Thanks for your reply Parklife. I respect and value your opinion. I agree with with you on many levels. Primarily about the "core" of what this board is about, "the various sexual thrills". I am not here to read about failures or for THAT kind of masochism. I definitely enjoy reading about the "thrills" and that once was my primary motivation for being on this board at all. Eventually as my interest grew I began to see my interest change and my interest evolved to how could my wife and I enjoy being in the lifestyle.

In order to pursue that personal goal I've read thousands of posts here from people that have been on this board for far longer than me and others that have come and gone. It has helped me "personally" sort out what I truly want as a thrill and what I know I do not want. In the course of my "personal" quest for understanding I have observed a wide, wide variety of how this lifestyle is practiced.

During my time on this board I've learned how naive I am. My initial desires have changed greatly from the beginning to where my mind is today. I attribute that change to reading as much as I can and to truly ponder the implications of each thread independently and how they would apply to me and what I want. I DO NOT specifically seek out and dwell upon the failures. I don't have to because they exist regardless of what I seek and there are many examples of them.

The thing that I agree with you the most is in regard to not having clearly established goals and needs and by default the communication needed to define those goals and needs. Real communication (in my opinion only) takes place when both parties listen, internalize the input and base their actions upon that input. I also agree with you in regard to these situations favoring the long term relationships. In most cases (not all) couples that have a proven track record of love and commitment to each other have acquired the skill of looking beyond "self".

As you say and I now understand much better, "I can’t imagine having a hot wife/cuck relationship with a girl I’ve dated a couple years… or truly engaged in this as a young adult….". There's a good reason you feel that way. While mistakes can be made at any age, the younger and less experienced are more susceptible to errors in judgement.

The one thing that I have come to realize and feel it to be an absolute truth is that in whatever form or shape or style this lifestyle manifests itself it is found successful in the unique pairing of couples. When a couple truly connect and their thoughts and desires align together they can enjoy an expanded sex life and the gratification that comes with it. It's clear to me now that I don't connect with my wife at that level. I also feel safe to say that many couples do not connect at that level. I would like to and I'm trying to.

I love my wife. She has helped me achieve so many things. She's stable. She's a good mother to our son. She's a hard worker. She's kind and generous. I've always felt bad that while I am so blessed by her I have to suppress my dwelling on the one area I selfishly desire, sex. I'd LOVE to enjoy an expanded sex life with my wife but not at all costs or risks. Obviously we don't connect enough or at the right levels to advance to that.

Yes, the stories are titillating. The thrill described is definitely compelling. It creates a desire to experience it yourself, to want it, to feel it's something missing in your life. That's where I'm at. Trying how figure out what I want and how to make it happen. What do I personally and specifically have to do to connect with my wife on a level that we can move together to enjoy ourselves even more than we do now? I know all the answers will not be found here. Some answers can only come from me.

Sorry for the long reply. I do sincerely value your opinion and respect it!

[Cdncuck]

My wife started fucking other guys when we were dating. We're considerably older now so we don't participate as often as we once did but we still play.

How old is older because I'm sure that even though you say you "don't play as often as you used to" many of us will/would be jealous that you PLAY AT ALL?

We're in our 60s. She's early 60s I'm late 60s.

[Tank Turner]

Hi costalkid,

I've never considered myself to be a cuck. I considered myself a participant. I'm approaching 50. After my second money shot, I've watched my wife getting worked by younger men who had stamina I had when I was their ages.

Our friend, Brad, can fuck her five times over the course of an evening and early morning. I used to watch them porn star each other. When she's at Brad's home, after my second, I'll stick around for a while before asking my wife whether she's coming home or spending the night at Brad's. I can't remember the last time she came home with me. I sleep a lot better in our bed, so I'll bail leaving Brad to enjoy my wife's exquisite sexual skills. When she comes home the following morning or early afternoon (Brad takes her to breakfast or lunch before bringing her home.), she's horny.

The more sex my wife has the more sex she wants to have.

Anyway, because I've watched my wife porn starring other men, I've been told that I'm a cuck, but I do not consider myself a cuck.

My wife and I are respectful during MFM sex. If she's giving Brad a blowjob, I'll wait until she's swallowed his money shot before moving in. I've never nor will I'll ever interrupt my wife and Brad while they're engaged in sex. We expect the identical respect we extend to others. Neither my wife not I would tolerate humiliation. Sex is fun and exciting, not humiliating. I do get it that others have differing opinions.

[coastalkid]

Hi costalkid,

I've never considered myself to be a cuck. I considered myself a participant. I'm approaching 50. After my second money shot, I've watched my wife getting worked by younger men who had stamina I had when I was their ages.

Our friend, Brad, can fuck her five times over the course of an evening and early morning. I used to watch them porn star each other. When she's at Brad's home, after my second, I'll stick around for a while before asking my wife whether she's coming home or spending the night at Brad's. I can't remember the last time she came home with me. I sleep a lot better in our bed, so I'll bail leaving Brad to enjoy my wife's exquisite sexual skills. When she comes home the following morning or early afternoon (Brad takes her to breakfast or lunch before bringing her home.), she's horny.

The more sex my wife has the more sex she wants to have.

Anyway, because I've watched my wife porn starring other men, I've been told that I'm a cuck, but I do not consider myself a cuck.

My wife and I are respectful during MFM sex. If she's giving Brad a blowjob, I'll wait until she's swallowed his money shot before moving in. I've never nor will I'll ever interrupt my wife and Brad while they're engaged in sex. We expect the identical respect we extend to others. Neither my wife not I would tolerate humiliation. Sex is fun and exciting, not humiliating. I do get it that others have differing opinions.

Thanks Tank! You're another one that is very familiar to me on this board. You're posts have value to me.

I know people will endlessly try to define what makes a man a cuckold. The simplest definition I know is the husband of a wife that has sex outside the marriage. So many want to add qualifiers, or other kinks and insist upon those being required. I've learned about myself a lot while being on this board. The idea of my wife having another lover is still interesting to me. Many of the other aspects/behaviors that some enjoy would be a deal breaker.

Like in your case, you said, "The more sex my wife has the more sex she wants to have." That would be my greatest motivation and hope. Like my tagline says, "I've had plenty of denial the old fashioned way!" If it meant denial to have a hotwife then really what's the benefit? Worse, to of wanted something so long and have it turns out worse for me in terms of my own sexual experience. I want to have more sex not less. Like I said, I've learned a lot more about what I want and what turns me off.

There's another thread here about Cuckold humiliation and that's another non-starter for me and really hard to get my head around. I have never been aroused by feeling inadequate or inferior. I definitely don't want to hear it being told to me and I don't want the feelings that I know would accompany it.

Another thing I've learned here is that I/we don't have to have those things. It can be what we make it. We're closer than we've ever been to my wife becoming a hotwife.Teasing about it is a constant in our nasty bedroom talk. But, we're also much older. I think I'll always hold out hope against hope but it seems less likely. I'm sticking with, "You just never know!"

I'm happy for you and jealous at the same time! It sounds like you have a good woman and a good thing going for you both. Much respect to you!

[Tank Turner]

Hi coastalkid,

Thanks for the compliment. My wife is a magnificent woman. We're best friends and in love with each other. She's taught me a lot. She is innately intelligent. She treats everyone respectfully, which was a huge requirement of her former profession. She had to remain composed when she interacted with clients who weren't always happy campers. She'll walk away from anyone before a conversation turns into an argument.

I have no idea of how to quantify or categorize sexual proclivities. I don't care how other people quantify or categorize sex. If anyone thinks I'm a cuck, I'm good. I'm 100% straight. I don't clean my wife after another dude deposited his money shot inside of her pussy. I don't do sloppy seconds. If another dude cums on her tits, she'll take a quick rinse off shower before resuming. She loves cum. I want no part of it. After I gift a wad to her, it's her property. I do not accept regifting. I'm good with how other people enjoy sex. It's not the way I roll. Right after I met my wife, she offered anal sex to me. I thanked her for the offer and politely declined. She was incredulous. She assured me that men loved anal sex. I'm sure they did. But I wasn't into any sex that involved fecal matter. It's a boner killer.

My wife and I are in agreement that sex should be fun, exciting, and mutually enjoyable. I can't recall her saying a negative word about any dude she dated/fucked. I could infer how she felt about a former boyfriend who pissed her off, but she hasn't referred any using hateful language.

While she was in college she ran into a dude at a party who was in one of her courses. They were friendly toward each other during class. She said he was shy. She never considered them to be dating compatible. She was pretty drunk. After a couple hours (probably less), she took him to HIS dorm room. He was too shy to make the first more. She emphasized to me that he had a very small dick. Probably due to her alcohol consumption, she could not feel his dick inside of her. She knew then that she could never date a dude without required equipment. He fucked her twice. She made him feel like a porn legend. She never said a word about the size of his dick. She thought his dick size caused him to be self-conscious and shy.

They remained friendly until the end of the semester. Neither one of them discussed her drunken attempt to build his self-confidence.

My wife can become pissed. But I've rarely heard her intentionally say anything mean or degrading to anyone's face. Depending upon circumstances, my wife will walk away before emotions prevent rational conversation.

My wife does not care for rude or mean people. She does not like braggards. She does not like egotistical, conceited, or stuck-up dudes.

After the first few times my wife met her sister's boyfriend (now fiancé), she didn't care for him. He's 10 years younger than her sister. She thought he was handsome and studly. She sized him up as egotistical and conceited. She thought he was sport banging her sister. I know her sister. She would be a formidable component in sport banging competitions. My wife admitted that she could not have been more wrong about him. He's a professional firefighter. He's very intelligent and analytical. What she believed was conceit and ego were self-confidence and careful analyses, two necessary traits of firefighters. After she got to know him, she grew to love him like a brother. He loves her like a sister. They bicker and argue like siblings, but they love each other like siblings. They can be humorous when they're bickering without realizing they're bickering like siblings. He would defend my wife and her sister if they were in danger. He'd kick a dude's ass if he were to try something untoward on my wife or her sister.

Brad has the identical, apparently innate protector disposition. It's a required trait of their profession. Firefighters have to be able to trust each other with their lives. They'll risk death to rescue another firefighter. I know that my wife is always safe when she's with Brad. He's more of a stud than the fiancé. He'd instinctually protect her from any dude who might attempt something he'd regret. Brad treats her like a princess. He's bent her over furniture and fucked her like a fire engine rushing to an inferno, which is how she's always loved to be fucked, but he knows he's fucking a princess.

My wife would never humiliate anyone during sex. If she were to not like a sex act a dude might want from her, she'd convey her sentiment without resorting to negative language. We both believe that sex should be fun, exciting, and enjoyable for everyone involved.

[jsaltydog]

Currently a wanna-be again but shared my then GF for 7 years in the past. I never considered myself a cuckold back then but more of a stag simply because I was never into humiliation, degradation, feminization , or had interest in men or man-to-man contact.

It was roughly 2-3 years after I ended our relationship that I came to terms that I was a cuckold. It took me some time to accept it as well as embrace it. I realized that I didn't have to be or do any of those traits that I mentioned above to be classified as a cuckold.

The fact that she only had to do minimal convincing in order for me to step aside for her to date another man/ allow another man to publicly date her, the act of being supportive of her going to live with another man, and lastly, the act of publicly accepting and abiding by her rules of me not interfering or blowing the cover that she belonged to him; these actions all helped me realize that I was indeed a cuckold at heart whether I wanted to accept it or not, and I did but only years after the break up.

I left her both because of many non lifestyle issues as well as the jealousy of seeing her going ALL the way with her boyfriend and publicly playing along with it. She had been with him for 3 years and publicly everyone only saw her with him. I was her secret side guy. Essentially the tables turned and she was cucking him with me.

It was sexy and scorching hot those entire 7 years of seeing her as my promiscuous gf. Until she became HIS promiscuous girlfriend.

Thanks for your response! I recognized your user name. I know you've been here a long time. That alone means something to me!

I think one of the many things I've learned here is that the definition of what a cuckold is and how they act/behave is very wide and loosely defined. There are many aspects of being a cuckold that I know would be a "non-starter" for me. When someone says they couldn't do this or they couldn't do that you often you read a post like, "Well, then this isn't the life for you!"

I've observed that each specific relationship has its own unique path, rules and implementation. Some couples may practice very similarly but no two seem to be alike. That's why I believe you are correct in saying you don't have to have the humiliation, degradation, feminization, man to man contact, or as in my greatest deal breaker, denial to be a cuckold. You at a minimum have to have a wife that fucks somebody else while you're married.

I've also learned from you and others here that, of the people on this website, over the years, only a handful have made this work in their own way. Countless others have come and gone. Their candles burned bright, but not for long! It's rare that couples match up sexually AND prove themselves committed to each other's love and best interests.

coastalkid: good insights, as usual. I recognize you from other sites. You usually provide a good perspective.