A resumption of sorts

[mick_flow]

It’s the early hours of the morning here. My wife’s away on a work trip, she’s managed to configure her flights to meet up with a girl friend and catch up on a girls night out in our old town. You can guess what happened. Before I get to the details let me give you some background.

It was about 11 years ago when I confessed to my wife that I’m turned on by the idea of her sleeping with another guy. There were a lot of mistakes and hot stories - which are probably best for another time. But about 6 years ago, after we relocated to another country, she met and fell for “the one”. I was cuck blind, loving the adventure, enjoying and indeed realishing her emotions as she fell deeper in love with him. I asked her to take clothes over to his place, to stay over. Which she did 3-4 times a week and often the weekend too.

The thing I found was my wife has great taste and the guy she picked was honestly a really nice guy. Not an ass. But just nice. I don’t hate him.

I should have recognized the warning signs inside myself, but I didn’t. I felt lonely. Envious of the fun, and I was feeling neglected, and unwanted (which because it was hot I was asking for- yeah I know, I know). But I found myself missing the contact of sex. So, I ended up meeting a lovely women myself. My wife wasn’t happy at first, but relented.

Things came to a head when my wife told me we could co-parent. I remember she told me this, with a smile on her face,

I posted on her at the time explaining that I’d fucked up. And you folks were equal parts fair and compassionate with your feedback.

We turned it around. But I felt I used every trick in the book.

There was a vanilla pause. But then the urge returned and she met a Swedish guy, let’s call him max.

Max was separated from his wife and my wife spent a lot of time with him. Nowhere near the same amount as before. But she also fell for him. Max introduced her to poppers. Her sexual preferences widened. She bought strap ons and pegged him, explored with anal.

Again, I felt the urge to find another partner and I did.

Toward the end of her time with max she showed me a video of her and him together. She’d just come back from a weekend with max, and I was horny wanting all the details. We were in the bed kissing, and things evolved. She started sharing details, and I was rock hard. I asked if she wanted to do poppers with me, annd she declined but said I should use it. So I kneeled beside her as I took a couple of long sniffs. It makes the blood run to your heads (both of them) and makes everything and every touch feel a bit more intense. She started stroking me gently her fingers playing with the tip of my cock. Then she showed me the video. In the video both of them were obviously high on poppers, missionary, passionately grinding on earth other. When he tells her he loves her and she replies.

My heart jumped in my chest. This was everything I wanted to hear and see. Is it true? Do you love him? I asked. Yes she replied. The poppers is taken made it all feel so intense, and I came hard. So very hard.

Shortly after that things slowed between them. I continued to see my lady friend and then Covid hit and everything stopped.

We were at home the two of us. But it felt different. My wife kisses differently now. Sometimes our kisses didn’t feel connected. Our sex life slowed. I kept getting rejected, she made comments about me only wanting to talk about others. Then she said she just wasn’t in the mood. Perimenopause started to hit. She saw a doctor who said that it’s just normal that she doesn’t want sex. That time of life.

I was gutted. But also aware that our sex lift had suffered from the whole Hotwife / cuck part. I didn’t want to make the mistake again.

I’ve not had sex in 3 years, and until last night nether had my wife.

Then I got her text message. About a guy she met in the bar and how he’d fucked her and she’d enjoyed it.

I was over the moon, the mojo is back! But is it? Now I’m over thinking it. Is it back in general? Or just for others?

While I loved her being with others the loneliness got me. I missed the physical connection of sex. The intimacy. I missed it when she was away most of the week with others and I’ve missed it terribly over the last 3 years.

Now. I don’t know what to think. She’s due back in 2 days, right now she’s got a hangover. I’d be gutted if she comes home and doesn’t share more.

Right now, I’m just being supportive via text. Hoping for more details …

[mick_flow]

Just thought I'd share the text exchange with my wife.

Wife: Just falling in to bed now
Me: Think my wallet is gone .. but will assess in the morning … (girlfriend) was a mess tonight
Wife: Can I tell you something?
Me: Of course!
Wife: I did have a quick kiss and a bit of fun with a very tall English mad tonight
Me: Yes! Yes! Yes!! Love it!
Wife: He did helps me get (girlfriend) home and then we fooled around.
Me: Ohh.. hot.. what happened ?? I’d love to know
Wife: I just neee to find my wallet
Me: Babe, tell me what fooled around was?! Did you do more than kiss? ((Please tell me you did!)
Wife: Yes .. we kissed a lot and then he fucked me …
Me: Ohh wow!
Wife: And I enjoyed it. Shit.
Me: Love it! - Was he Good?
Wife: Sorry. He was … I like him
Me: I love you. I want this more than you know! Doggie? Missionary? Did he cum!? Don't be sorry.
Wife: Missionary. And he came.
Me: Where? Did you cum?
Wife: In me. No I did not.
Me: Did you go bare ?! Or Condom?
Wife: Brief and bare
Me: Can you still feel his cum?
Wife: Not now

She must have fallen asleep after this. We talked later the next day. Briefly.

It's been 3 years since we had sex. Basically a dead bedroom. So dead I was sure it was medical. All my advances rejected. Now this. Basically she picked a guy up in a bar for a one night stand, and didn't use protection. Maybe this means her libido is back. Although I'm worried (and turned on) but more worried now, about the lack of protection.

[David52]

How did it go when she got home?

[hornedhubby]

I'm curious, too, Mick. Hope all is going well with you and your wife.

[mick_flow]

It has been a while since I posted. I want to give you folks an update.

She returned giddy and excited. It was awkward at first, she was so delighted that her sex drive was back and she was keen to take out 3 years of nothing on me. In the run up to her returning home I sent her a post from Reddit, from a cuckoldress explaining what she does to keep her husband basically balanced. The teasing, and denial, and then the comfort and love. I explained to her that this was a huge turn on, that I wanted this. I was just very open and direct. She asked some clarifying questions, "What exactly about this is the turn on?" she asked.

"It is watching you, sexually excited which is a turn on" I explained.

She returned home, and I was nervous, I mean it had been 3 years. I was also worried and pissed about the lack of protection.

That night in the bedroom she excitedly jumped into bed with me, snuggling up close face to face.

"Tell me" I asked
"What do you want to know" she asked
"Everything"

She told me about how she had been away from her friend in the bar, the bar had two levels, and she'd escaped to another floor, and ended up talking to this guy, Martin. She'd loved the attention, and that led to them kissing in the bar. She was in the bar with her best friend, and I asked if she saw anything - "No" my wife said "she was upstairs or outside, but she knew what was going on".

As the night progressed her friend got drunk, a little too drunk, and my wife had to escort her back to the hotel they were staying at. Martin offered to help, and apparently the help was needed. As they got into the hotel room, something must have happened because the drunk best friend said she was going to head down to reception and left Martin and my wife alone in the room.

Things progressed quickly, they were all over each other, she gave him a blow job, and eventually he pushed her back on the bed. Telling her he had a present for her. He went down on her, giving her pussy attention it hadn't had in 3 years. After a few moments of this, he came up to kiss her and slide himself inside my wife.

My wife paused the recollection and looked at me, "You like this?" she asked as she was stroking me, and I was slowly circulating my fingers around her clit. Her clit felt massive, huge compared to when I'd last played with it. Swollen and her sex dripping with wetness.

"Yes" I replied "I want more"

She explained how he fucked her hard, and came inside her it was all over in 15 minutes. She became concerned about her friend and needed to go find her. Apparently her friend has simply given them some space and fallen asleep outside the hotel room door.

My wife explained that she pulled her panties back up, and kept his come inside her, she loved the feel of it.

My wife turned to me and said "I want you inside me."

"No... not yet" I replied

"Why?"

"You need to get tested" I said

We'd talked about this, and I'd found her a clinic near by. It wasn't an issue. I think she just wanted me. She looked at me and said "I think you just want us to be wank buddies, don't you?"

Rather than complain I decided to play along "Oh, that sounds like fun" her hand tightened around my cock. "Was he bigger than me?" I asked.

"Yes, not longer, but thicker"

"Did you like that?"

"It was different" she said

"Don't be coy, you know I want the details" I protested, reminding her of the reddit post

"Uggh" she moaned, "yes, I liked it".

"Did you prefer it? was it better than me?" - Now bare in mind it had been 3 years since we'd done anything

"Yes, it was better, I prefer them bigger" she said

I have to admit that was hot, I moaned loud, and she joined me, before she asked again "fuck me".

"No" I said "we're wank buddies remember...."

She moaned and said "Don't do that!"

"Why?" I asked

"Because then I'd need to find someone else"

I moaned at this, "Ohh, I want that more" I teased. "More than fucking you"

She moaned and I continued "You want that don't you".

She paused, "no" she said... I was convinced it would take just a little more...

"You'd like it, wouldn't you?" I asked

"Yes" she replied. Her eyes closed I could tell she was close, and she was dripping and swollen.

"You'd like that we don't make love any more, and that I make you find others". She moaned hard when I said that.

"You'd like the control" she said to me. Now the truth is, I'm not sure if I do. But what I really love and give off on, is watching her give in to her desires, and I know she loved the idea of being controlled. So, again I leaned in..

"Yes. Controlling you. Making you do the things you need" I said.

She came, a large shaking orgasm, her legs clamping on my hand.

I was still no where near as close as she was. It took some time for me to actually orgasm. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was the 3 years. Maybe I don't actually physically want her. After all I've spent 3 years focusing on the memories of her with others.

The next time we had sex, I got to learn a little more about her sexual desires. But that's a post for another time.
'

[venus-can99]

That is such an erotic retelling of her sort of short-n-sweet encounter during her work trip. Is this someone who works with her? Is she planning to see him again?
Cant wait to read more about your wife's sexual desires

[mick_flow]

That is such an erotic retelling of her sort of short-n-sweet encounter during her work trip. Is this someone who works with her? Is she planning to see him again?
Cant wait to read more about your wife's sexual desires

No. This was a random guy in a bar. Hence why, I wanted her to get tested before we had sex. But, my resolve wasn't quite that strong - that's another story.

[coastalkid]

.........Then she said she just wasn’t in the mood. Perimenopause started to hit. She saw a doctor who said that it’s just normal that she doesn’t want sex. That time of life.

I was gutted. .........

Menopause, along with religious conservative upbringing, and post-partum depression have been the "Three Horsemen of the Sexual Apocalypse" for me. I had no idea those would be such formidable issues.

Now that you have some experience and you're not wanting to make any mistakes, what have you thought to do differently? What would be your ideal situation if you could have things the way you want them to be? Three years of sexual neglect is not something you'll forget easily.

[mick_flow]

.........Then she said she just wasn’t in the mood. Perimenopause started to hit. She saw a doctor who said that it’s just normal that she doesn’t want sex. That time of life.

I was gutted. .........

Menopause, along with religious conservative upbringing, and post-partum depression have been the "Three Horsemen of the Sexual Apocalypse" for me. I had no idea those would be such formidable issues.

Now that you have some experience and you're not wanting to make any mistakes, what have you thought to do differently? What would be your ideal situation if you could have things the way you want them to be? Three years of sexual neglect is not something you'll forget easily.

I think that was part of what took me so long to cum. I felt like my wife was suddenly over it all, like a switch had been flicked, and she wanted to go back to normality. But that I ... just couldn't, it was 3 years... of nothing, of rejection, of feeling like I wanted to scream into the pillow as I lay besider her. 3 years of clinging to the side of the bed. Not wanting to even touch her at times - I just didn't want to get aroused by her, because I didn't want the rejection, I'd just had enough.

It hurts, man. It really hurts.

I had 3 years of wondering if I still really wanted her. She was back.

It came to a head the following weekend. We'd gone out for dinner for her birthday. it was a lovely family night. We both had plenty to drink. And she made a comment, she said I didn't complement her dress. That she had sent a photo of herself in her dress to Martin who had said he thought she looked amazing, but that neither I nor the kids had made a comment. The kids, are kids and they wont. And I had been given a sneak peak of the outfit the night before and told her how amazing she looked.

But something happened, inside me. I just broke. All the frustration. With our sex life, with our life in general, with my career (which I'm struggling with) all came out. I didn't want to say the things I was saying, I knew they would hurt her, but it was like a dam had been breached. I couldn't stop myself. I felt like I was in the 3rd person, watching as I told her everything.

She was hurt. And told me I needed to fix myself. The feeling of being abandoned like that hurt. I realized of course, that it was a lot for her to take in. Me too. I hadn't expected to say all of that. To articulate feelings I'd never put words to before. That same night we had make up sex. But through the booze and the pain, I couldn't cum. She did though. It was hot, but I'll leave the details to another post. In this one, I'll stick with the emotional pain of 3 years of rejection exploding in a cacophony in articulate verbage, compressed into what was 30 seconds.

What followed were days of hurt, and frustration, and grabbing deep conversations when the kids were not around. And also insights into my own mental health. I'd felt like there were days when things were good, but I couldn't enjoy them, that a veil had fallen, that it colored everything I looked at. The tell tale signs of depression....

But things are better now, way better. I've contemplated some professional help. But I've also taken to keeping a journal, to self reflect. To think deeply about what I feel and why, what I want, and what motivates that. What I can do with the situations I'm in. It is helping. But there is more I need to do.

In the part of our discussions together, we both realized that we didn't want a monogamous relationship. In our past, she had had a partner and had spent so much time with him, that I ended up with a partner. Trust me - I wanted both at the time. Until I didn't. I learnt a lot. So not that. But more than just us.

A key part of the learning, is to deeply understand what is drinking me in this kink, and understand its limits. Both for me, my wife and our relationship.

A thoughtful question, thank you.

[venus-can99]

So glad to hear that you are feeling a lot better and things are looking up. Perhaps some marriage counseling may help to explore your relationship and might even help if the person specializes in ENM. Regardless looks like you are taking the positive steps by communicating….