Trapped, betrayed, emotionally cuckolded and revenge turned really weird!

[goodnfun]

I’ve been on this forum for a long time - 12 years. Always a lurker. I have my own history but I haven’t posted anything about it.

I want to share here because it’s now been a while and it’s no longer dangerous. This all started 15 years ago, and I’ve kept a record of the exact things as they unfolded across hundreds of emails. Many conversations have gone back and forth with my wife (we're still together) and I have a record of it all.

I can assure you that this gets really weird and very much tap dances on the side of trust. I also think I've done things nobody else has ever done and I have no clue how I got away with it. But before people call me out as a horrible person, I need to set the backstory to understand where things come from.

Everything you're going to read here is 100% true. I often wonder if stories posted here are true, or if they're fantasy. I hear some of them and the details that people remember I think "wait, this is written like a story, this can't be true?"

My story is 100% true. I'm going to write it in "chapters" but I feel like I should share as I'm in a weird world and other forums people would have no clue how to deal with it.

So here it does. Please be patient.

Chapter 1 – DOWNWARD SPIRAL



Jennifer and I got together when I was 18. She's been the love of my life and who I felt was my soul mate for all that time. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her and I love her deeply. Our relationship was "forbidden" when we first got together by my parents. I was a mamas boy. Then we spent 2 years in a long distance relationship. We've got a relationship that movies are made out of. Continual uphill battle. Jennifer is my first "love" and with our age difference, Jennifer was ready to settle a bit and I was infatuated with her. And the next 12 years passed by. I had remained faithful all that time.

And then I had a downward spiral. I was 28 and my wife was 35. I don't know what it was, but I took a downward spiral. I was unhappy, I was a new father with responsibilities, I was a provider and I no longer had my girlfriend... She was gone and was replaced by the mother of my child. Selfishly, I was struggling with everything. I was messed up and I went on a solo mini-vacation to Florida. Went to Universal Studios, riding the motorcycle, went to Sea World... It gave me some time to think and one of the biggest challenges was that I could see the rest of my life in front of me.

We had been looking for our 20 year home. I started googling "I hate being a dad" which led me to understand that some other dads feel the same way. We were making decisions that were trapping me more and more and more.

And I went into an even deeper downward spiral. I was pretty low. Our daughters had been sick for 8 months straight (colds from daycare), we weren't sleeping at night, social life was boring and it was just a day-to-day repeat of the last in a boring cycle of repetition.
I hated where I was working and feared every Monday morning.
And then Jennifer betrayed my trust.

She went to a party that was hosted by a guy she'd had a one night stand with with her sister while I was at home taking care of our Daughters. This is a guy who she claims was the best sex ever because of the kissing and intimacy. It was a friend and she thought that it was going to be something special, only, it's wasn't. I felt so betrayed! How did my wife go to a party that an ex was hosting!



A couple days later, I went to a friends home and was discussing all the issues. We were sitting on the couch... I was a whole different person. I was messed up. On my way home, I went to a strip club so then when I got home, I could try to make Jennifer Jealous. I got home and told her all about how the dancers brushed up on me, gently glazing me with their boobs, etc. It was relatively vanilla, but was definitely wrong.

The funny thing is, that night, after I got home and told her where I was and what I saw Jennifer was an absolutely tiger in bed, and it was 3:30am! And I mean, I saw a side of her that was new...

So anyways, that was, in my mind a one-time event and I had no interest to go back. I went for revenge. I was so mad that she went to her ex's. I didn’t know what it was like to have a one-night stand. Those are the kinds of things that happen in College and early in your life...  I was with Jennifer when I was in College.  I married my first love.  And that's not a bad thing... I'm actually quite lucky to have never felt a broken heart in the traditional sense, but the grass is greener right? So for Jennifer to go visit him, totally messed me up!

We’d been struggling as a couple for some time. Don't get me wrong, we've been working hard.

And I have been, but it's not been without it's hurdles. I was on anti-depressants, I've been seeing a psychotherapist, etc. And while on the outside, it looks like Jennifer and I have a pretty good life, internally, I was falling apart and struggling.

New dad, struggling with my own identity, bored and feeling trapped. Wife betrays my trust and goes and hangs out at an ex's.

[aandmp]

Interesting. Looking forward to learning more. I married my 1st 'steady' girlfriend. She was 19, I was 17, we'd been together for a couple years then. Marriage didn't last but for a couple years. She cucked me well, lol. Set the stage for the rest of my life, I guess.

[goodnfun]

Chapter 2 - TRUTH

A few months wen on. The kids weren't sleeping, we were having issues. We had also moved to a place where we have very little family and friend support. We were very isolated. In my despair and heavy chest, pit in my stomach feeling, one night, in an effort to feel re-assurance from Jennifer, I asked the worst question I could have. We were lying in bed, my hope was low, and I was feeling the shackles of fatherhood. Of having another 20 years with my kids in the house, disrupting flow and challenging freedom.

So anyways, I asked my question in the dark room. You know how they say “don’t ask a question you don’t really want the answer to” Well, that’s what I did… Now please bear in mind that with this question, I was expecting a particular answer.

I asked Jennifer "Including me, who have you felt the most love for?"



And dead silence. I quickly honed in on the uncomfortable energy and started prying. A half hour later and tears shed by Jennifer, she finally answers "Alex."

I was nearly sick. I had no clue how to respond to it. It was 1am in the morning, I had to work the next day and I felt like somehow, the last decade of our relationship was a scam. I've always felt an unconditional love for Jennifer, the purist of kinds. I always felt like we were meant to be together, like we overcame all obstacles because we were meant to be... But all of that went out the window when she admitted that she had felt more love for a guy in her past from 20 years ago. When I first got together with Jennifer, I felt such a strong drive to be with her. I was experiencing "real" love for the first time. All the sappy movies made sense, all the love songs had meaning.

I was all consumed by the information. I was 18 when my wife and I got together, she was 25. I’d had girlfriends already, but it was vanilla teenage holding hands, etc. I was very vanilla in my youth. I was afraid of girls. I worshipped them and thought they were special, mythological. True love with Jennifer felt like a unicorn… Everyone talks about it, nobody’s ever seen it. 


Anyways, I went to work the next morning a wreck...

But then Jennifer emailed me as I wasn't answering my phone.



"PLEASE DON'T THINK I LOVED ALEX MORE. I KNOW I SAID IT BUT IT WASN'T FOR THE REASON YOU ARE THINKING IT IS FOR.

I am so sorry that you feel so sad. I think it's because you feel that I loved Alex more than you. In the beginning of our relationship, compared to Alex ours was a lot more emotional and we spent a lot more time together than I did with Alex. We definitely had the chemistry and people at work even saw that. I need you to understand that it's not like I loved Alex more than you it was the feeling of love for love not the love for the person. I was finishing a relationship with Ben which was not a very good relationship and then I went into the relationship with Alex. I was just hoping Alex was the one and I think that is why it felt like I loved him more. But please know that I love you with all of my heart. 

I love you so much that I don't ever want to make you sad ever. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Please talk with me so that I can understand how you feel. I really want us to work. I don't want to lose you. I hope this message helps you and we can talk about it tonight.

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH

-- 
Jennifer"

So I spent the afternoon thinking, and I came home that night, after driving around for a while. I walked in the door carrying a bouquet of blue flowers (Jennifer's favourite colour and the colour of my eyes) and I apologized to Jennifer for not being good enough. I felt so bad for her. For her not to feel the same way towards me that I felt towards her.

[goodnfun]

Chapter 3 - RELAXATION



I had always struggled with the thought that the only person I'd ever have a deeply intimate relationship with was my wife, mainly because I was not her first, second, third or fourth. She had the experience of having long term relationships before me. Mature relationships. Living with boyfriends and being engaged.

I was just a kid.

When we got together when I was 18, we worked together. We just got along really well. There was no game plan, no goal, no trickery. It was just two people who worked really well together and had a lot of fun. After 8 months, the feeling started. She felt nervous around me and hated that she had feeling towards me. And when we started fooling around, I was a typical guy, excited to feel a boob or have make out sessions with a pretty girl who was slender, had silky smooth skin and a wonderful smile. I was in a perpetual state of nervousness and excited newness.

I was also very vanilla and didn't rebel as a kid.

Anyways, two weeks after our relationship started that I brought Jennifer home to meet my mom and step-dad.

It did not go well. The relationship was essentially banned. There's no way this older woman is going to get in the way of their prize son going to College and getting started on life on the right footing

So the relationship was on again/off again. Stop and go. It was filled with tears and upset, trying to understand why my parents thought that she was such a horrible person. They couldn't see. And I was in fear that the age difference (7 years) would be shunned by my friends or anyone else.

And so we kept it pretty secretive. But not in a good, exhilarating way. It was upsetting. My first real relationship was to be shunned, not celebrated. It was to grow in the shadows and not under the security and guidance of a loving family unit. I was on my own.

And because my parents were divorced (and it was very messy) I lacked a lot of guidance on healthy relationship building. This was partly why I was a shy kid, I think.

--

Anyways, fast forward 10 years and now married, with my mind breaking around this new that she felt more love for an ex than me, I was trying to better understand what had happened and that perhaps soul mates weren't a thing, my mind started venturing into weird places and looking under stones I had never thought to look under.

I also became very frustrated that I had given myself exclusively to my wife and gave up any opportunity to sew oats or play the field. When I was in College, I studied hard, got good grades and didn't care to party. I was a responsible young man.

A couple weeks later after my wife admitted her feelings, we went to the Keg for dinner. We had a "date night." The last time Jennifer saw my face (I had a beard) was at Christmas when I was overweight. It was now 6 months later, I'd lost 50lbs and I shaved. Jennifer saw the face of the guy she fell for all those years ago and was turned on the entire night. Jennifer had a few drinks and was a little tipsy. Afterwards, we went to a "strip club" for the first time ever together. It was kind of boring, but the atmosphere was interesting and we were both pretty relaxed. After that, we were leaving we drove around a corner and there was a "massage parlour" of sorts.

This is the conversation as we were driving.



Me: "Do you want a massage?" I said Jokingly.

Jennifer: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Well there's an adult massage parlour here"

Jennifer: "Really, what's that about?"



Now, I had done a bit of research beforehand. It was an accidental drive around the corner but I had never stepped foot inside. I had heard about these places, but that was it. My riskiest outing up to now was a strip club! But what was more intriguing to me was that Jennifer didn't immediately shut down the idea. She really wanted a massage. Like a real, massage with oil. She was sore from working out and she was a relaxed from the wine at the restaurant. So anyways, we went to the place and they explained that it's an "a la carte" service where the masseuse is topless... They had rules to follow and respect was top priority. Okay, cool. I think that would be pretty cool to watch Jennifer get massaged by a pretty topless girl. Who wouldn't???

And the place was NOT sleazy. It was very elegant, waterfalls, exotic flowers, very, very clean and beautiful women walking around. It was very high class.

So we went up to one of the rooms together and were meeted by a girl named Ella. She was very pleasant and laughed a lot It's amazing how a laugh can break down walls!

We went into the room which was comfortably warm, spa music in the background, a massage table in the middle and a full waterfall on the one wall. I sat in the chair and Ella proceeded to take off her top and revealed some amazing breasts. Perfectly sized and wonderfully lit in the room. Jennifer said "Well, I guess this is happening" and so she took off her top and laid on her stomach.

The massage went on for about 30 minutes which we were all chatting and talking. It's weird, because when you're in a very comfortable room with two beautiful topless women, inhibitions go way down. It's almost like clothing is a shield. Take off the clothes, shields are down. There's no better way to get out of the awkward silence!

So and Jennifer was getting massaged by Ella with her top off, she asked her to turn over.

She did and her breasts were exposed but still had a towel to cover her mid section. Ella started to massage Jennifer's breasts while I watched. We were all having a casual conversation and we told Ella about our past and why we were there, etc. So many laughs, so much was out on the table. So much honesty. Then, without warning Ella took my hand, placed it on her breast and said to my wife "there, see, no big deal."

I was in shock and my wife seemed fine. Ella wasn't a threat. She was very pleasant and standing there topless felt like long time friends. And She had openly taken my hand and placed it on her breast for my wife to see.

And it was 100% okay. No threat. Jennifer enjoyed it all.

The session ended with just that. Not much happened. Just a nice massage for Jennifer and I got to feel another boob! It was a brand new experience. It was exciting, and pretty harmless!

And on the way home, we both laughed our asses off at what had just happened! We looked at each other like did 10 years before all over again!

It's like we had just opened a whole new side of Jennifer!!! And the best part was that Jennifer LOVED IT!
There was no threat, it was just a fun experience!

And it opened up a new pathway to travel down. And honestly, the distraction was enough to help fill some of the void I'd been feeling. Now, Jennifer saw my hand on another breast.

[Coolcalm]

Though she feels and felt the most love for him?
I’m not understanding???
She didn’t say she felt more love for “the love.” She said His name.

[Cdncuck]

I'm afraid this is kind of confusing

[realcucklife]

Keep the story rolling.
It can be a bit daunting trying to get so much history, emotion and turmoil into a cohesive story.
Don’t be put off by any negative comments.

[subtoall]

Looking forward to reading the next chapters.

[goodnfun]

Though she feels and felt the most love for him?
I’m not understanding???
She didn’t say she felt more love for “the love.” She said His name.

Yep, It was weird, but I tried really hard to understand it and I do now. Alex was the guy in her late teens, early 20's that was always flaking out. But he also promised her to go sailing, to go on vacations together, they planned their lives together, but he was also living with his ex for financial reasons. He was elusive, he would show up when she didn't expect him and wouldn't show up when she expected him to.

She was on and off with him for around 3 years until he broke it off with her. He told her he'd pick her up and never showed up or something like that. She stood at the end of her driveway, waiting for him. Heart broken.

It's not that she actually "loved" him more, but she felt more intense emotions with him.

He let her down so often, but he was the bright light in her life to whisk her away. Her heart belonged to him. He was her hope, her dreams, her knight in shining armour... Only, he wasn't. She just wanted him to be.

But when I asked that horrible question "Who did you feel the most most love for?"... It's a hard one to answer because there's a whole myriad of range to the question and the answer.

By the time I came along, that part of her heart would only ever belong to him. And I could relate. I could never feel as intense emotions as I did for my wife. She's the reason I started to feel all these feelings I'd never even known before. She's the one where when all of a sudden sappy love songs came on, they had meaning. Sappy movies suddenly made sense despite often fatal plot gaps. Titanic for example with Jack and Rose. back then as a very, very young man, it hit home.

She was that to me, Alex was that to her. it's complicated and messy.

In the past it was very upsetting to me. Now, not so much. I've come to terms with it for the most part.

[elina]

Thanks for sharing,

Very interesting story and great that you are sharing the emotional aspects of it.
How long ago did this happen?
Looking forward to follow how this continued.

Sincerely
elina

[goodnfun]

Thanks for sharing,

Very interesting story and great that you are sharing the emotional aspects of it.
How long ago did this happen?
Looking forward to follow how this continued.

Sincerely
elina

Yes, it's a very emotional ride.

This all started down about 15 years ago. I was 28, DW was 35. It seems like long ago, but it feels like yesterday.

[goodnfun]

I'm afraid this is kind of confusing

It appears that each of my posts needs to be approved manually. Even editing a typo or two seems to remove the post from public view while awaiting moderation. Hopefully this restriction is lifted so I can actually post without significant delays or without breaking up the flow.

[goodnfun]

Chapter 4 – SECONDS ANYONE?



A few weeks later, Jennifer and I were heading up to our Hometown the following weekend for a wedding of a Highschool friend. Her sister was going to take the kids for the night and we had a room booked at a hotel. Jennifer and I were chatting and she agreed that she would enjoy another massage. Rather than it being at a massage parlour, I found a "courtesan" masseuse that would come to our hotel. Very expensive, high class and very discreet. And for the amount of time, I figured that booking two hours to include a drink or two followed by a massage in our hotel room would be good to firm up.

I had no clue how far things would go or what would happen. 



Anyways, we were in our room for the night and there was a knock on the door. We had a couple drinks beforehand and I was completely terrified. Jennifer was pretty laid back and comfortable.



There was a knock on our door. I answered and Karen walked into the room. Dark hair, dark skinned and very pretty. She was almost a bit goth like. She had an amazing smile that actually reminded me of Jennifer’s maid of honour! , introduced herself and we made a bunch of small talk. A couple more drinks were had and it started off as a massage.



Jennifer was giggling the whole time. She couldn’t stop. She was also blindfolded. Jennifer didn’t want to see what was going on. She felt like the blindfold separated reality from fantasy. That the blindfold somehow made it so that it didn’t cross into our “real” life.



Here’s a play-by-play of the video I have (albeit summarized).



The massage started. I was involved in the massage as well. 4 hands on Jennifer and she wasn’t sure who’s hands were touching her or where. I was on her upper and mid back, Karen was on her lower back and bottom area. At 10 minutes, Jennifer flipped over to her back.

Karen massaged her for the next 15 minutes seductively. I held the camera and my hands were no longer involved. It was now between Jennifer and Karen.

And Karen went and kissed her stomach seductively while massaging Jennifer’s breasts careful to see if a reaction would be positive or negative. No reaction, but the chatting continued…

Karen asked “Am I allowed to kiss your nipples?”

Jennifer “… Yes, I will accept it for now and see how it goes”

Karen laughed.

I said “I suggest not to ask because she’ll likely say no” and Karen responded “I prefer to ask so I don’t go outside your safety zone.”

Two seconds later, Karen slid her tongue up Jennifers left nipple and licked it.

Jennifer said “Are you liking that Honey?”

And Karen tugged lightly on her nipple.

And I said “Are you?”

Jennifer “… yes…”

Karen started to switch sides and in the midst of the transition Jennifer started to laugh and chuckled “This is the first time a girl has ever done anything to my boobs”



And so this is funny… I don’t recall this or why Jennifer asked me but she said “
Do I get chocolate?” and laughed. We all laughed and I don’t remember why she would have asked that?

Anyways, back to the video…

Lots and lots of nipple play and Jennifer just laid there, chatting casually. No dirty talk, just laughter and giggling…

Karen worked her way down across Jennifer’s midsection… The giggles stopped the room went silent except for the music in the background.

Karen started rubbing Jennifer’s clit with her knuckle while she removed her own top. Once the top was removed, Karen went in and placed her mouth on Jennifer’s pussy. Her tongue came out of her mouth and penetrated softly.

5 minutes of very soft and teasing tongue action while Jennifer slowly opened her legs for her visitor. Karen then worked her way up to Jennifer’s face and started kissing her on the mouth. I went in to continue with the pussy action.

5 minutes later, Karen came back down and started to lick Jennifer upside down. She starting focusing in on her clit, wiggling her tongue around.



Jennifer had lost her inhibitions.

Jennifer said “You know what would be interesting is if I were to eat you out…”

And so Karen slowly draped her leg over Jennifer and slowly pushed back into Jennifer’s mouth in 69 position. Jennifer is not experienced. She was gently darting her tongue, exploring this brand new place she’s never been and the blindfold kept her from seeing.

And they both went to town.

5 minutes later Jennifer had her hands on Karens ass and was pulling her deeper into her mouth. I had my hands on Karens ass as well and was rocking her back and forth on my wife’s face.
As tension built, Jennifer slowed down like she was focused and let out a gasp. She was having an orgasm. A very, very strong one. One that was filled with naughty passion and from someone who knew exactly how to use her tongue. And Karen had gotten progressively more aggressive. Long tongue strokes that were wet and messy but tight and controlled. Her tongue darted in and out of my wife and looped up with the perfect amount of clitoral stimulation.

Jennifer was in the throes of pelvic convulsions, it’s almost like she lost her focus for 30 seconds. Once she was done, she went right back at Karen, digging her tongue into her pussy like it was her last meal.

I was pretty much ignored. No blowjob, no kissing, no tasting another pussy. Nope, this was for Jennifer and Karen.

I figured, if I could get the support of my wife, this is something we could explore together. I could sew some wild oats, get some more experience and know what it was like to be other other girls.



Here’s an admission. It’s hard for me to write this. I have the video in a video player and I have one hand rubbing myself as I write. I’m typing one handed. It’s the only way I seem to be able to let strangers know about our experience. It's been locked up for over a decade.



Anyways, the next day Jennifer woke up sober and extremely ashamed. She couldn't believe what she had done. She felt so bad and ashamed for what had happened. Drunk Jennifer is very different than sober Jennifer. But she warmed up to it over the next week. We talked about it a lot and it was on both of our minds nearly all the time.

[hornedhubby]

Great introspection and a well-told story.



Thanks for sharing.

[Dream Weaver]

This is really hot. Thank you for writing this. I’m dreading when things go bad because this is a dream.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

Everything you're going to read here is 100% true. I often wonder if stories posted here are true, or if they're fantasy. I hear some of them and the details that people remember I think "wait, this is written like a story, this can't be true?"

No worries! I’ve had people accuse me of making shit up.

There are a handful of us who process through writing. (I’m a teacher/professor. Those who process through the written word are more and more rare.)

Like you, I don’t know what more to say.

What I write is true! I wouldn’t have believed my wife and I would be where we are either. But we’re here! Wife is on her second boyfriend in about 18 years.

We enjoy living this way. I enjoy being cucked! She enjoys cucking me. And her boyfriends have been more than happy to help her do it, the first directly in front of me….often, and the second not quite there yet….but happy to have sex with her, nonetheless….often. (She’s having a blast!)

[goodnfun]

Everything you're going to read here is 100% true. I often wonder if stories posted here are true, or if they're fantasy. I hear some of them and the details that people remember I think "wait, this is written like a story, this can't be true?"

No worries! I’ve had people accuse me of making shit up.

There are a handful of us who process through writing. (I’m a teacher/professor. Those who process through the written word are more and more rare.)

Like you, I don’t know what more to say.

What I write is true! I wouldn’t have believed my wife and I would be where we are either. But we’re here! Wife is on her second boyfriend in about 18 years.

We enjoy living this way. I enjoy being cucked! She enjoys cucking me. And her boyfriends have been more than happy to help her do it, the first directly in front of me….often, and the second not quite there yet….but happy to have sex with her, nonetheless….often. (She’s having a blast!)

Yes, I do process through writing. 100%. It's very helpful to force you to work things out with "pen to paper" so to speak.

Also, I don't know if this belongs in the cuckold or the hotwife category. Likely a balance of the two. This just felt like the more appropriate category because there are some weird mind games that go on... It gets weird.

[goodnfun]

Chapter 5- JEALOUSY FOLLOWED BY FREEDOM!

For about a month, things were actually going well. We were laughing again. Giddy, even. It felt light. Normal. Safe, maybe? We were climbing out of whatever hell we’d just been through, and it felt like we were making progress. We had done something together that I KNEW was a first between us. This wasn't something she'd ever done before. It was unique to us, even if shared with Karen.

And so about a month later, we went to Jennifer’s niece’s birthday party back in Our Hometown.

And then—surprise, surprise—three of Jennifer’s exes showed up.

Three.

Now, just to be clear, Alex wasn’t even one of them. No, these were a hand-picked nightmare roster.

There was "Sloppy Kisser"—the one who couldn't keep his tongue out of her throat to save his life. Then there was "One-Night-Stand Best Sex Ever Ex"—which I only know because I asked years ago, like an idiot. And finally, bringing up the rear (and haunting my goddamn soul), was "Massive Dick, Super Hot Ex" of Three Years. You know the type—cute, built like a Calvin Klein ad, effortless charm. Basically the final boss in a game I didn't know how to play!

Why the hell were they at a five-year-old’s birthday party? They don’t have kids. They aren’t family. They were just... there. Casually showing up like it was completely normal to haunt your ex’s current husband while balloons pop in the background and someone passes out cake.

It hit me like a punch to the gut.

That’s always been a trigger for me. I’ve always believed that if something once sparked between two people, it can light up again—sometimes stronger. Chemistry doesn’t need a reason. It just needs a moment. And seeing those guys—all of them in one place—was like standing in a room full of unspoken “what ifs.”

I also felt like my relationship was Jennifer was a gift. Fate and Soul Mate like. It felt like kick to the face every time the universe had a different opinion.

And while Jennifer was catching up, smiling, relaxed, I felt myself shrink into the background. Not because she made me feel that way. She didn’t. This was self-inflicted. But still—I felt small. Like the only kid sitting at the grown-ups' table. In fact, I was jumping in the bouncy castle with my 2 year old for much of it.

Back when we first got together, these were the guys with jobs, leather jackets, and brand-new Camaros. Meanwhile, I was living in a rented basement, in school, eating cereal for dinner. They were hosting house parties. I was walking everywhere to save cash. They had real-world experience, romantic history, shared memories. I had optimism, debt, and a Napster download playlist.

I always felt like I had shown up seven years too late to the starting line.

And my mind? It doesn’t just wander—it produces full-feature-length films. I could close my eyes and see her with them. The laughs. The flirting. The kissing. The sex. The details. And it wasn’t just imagination—it was vivid. Like I was watching it on a screen, except it was playing inside my skull.

Over the years, I asked way too many questions. The kind of questions you think will bring you peace but really just hand you a shovel to dig your own emotional grave. And Jennifer—she always answered. Honestly. That’s a pillar in our relationship. But I was too young back then to understand the value of not knowing.

I had no relationship experience. No breakups. No lessons. No built-up emotional calluses. I walked into our relationship like a guy barefoot on gravel, bleeding by the first mile.

I didn’t understand how she could ever have loved someone else more than me. And I sure as hell didn’t know what to do with that information once I had it.

So yeah... the rest of that day was tense. And that night, I broke. I told my mom we were struggling—really struggling. She offered to have Jennifer and the kids come stay with her for a while, just so I could breathe. Reset. Maybe find some clarity in the silence.

Four days later, Jennifer took an extended leave and flew to stay with family in another city. We talked about it. We agreed. My energy had gotten dark. Toxic, even. Not something toddlers should be around. The jealousy, the anger—it had crept into every room of our house like smoke you didn’t notice until your eyes were burning.

And so, four days later, I stood at the airport watching my wife leave with our two-year-old and our six-month-old. I didn’t know when I’d see them again. I only knew this: I had become someone I didn’t even recognize.

As they passed through the gate, I felt the tears come quietly. I wasn’t sobbing. But I was cracked. I had failed—as a husband, as a father, and as the man I had promised to be. And I had no idea how to fix it.

The first few nights were unbearable. The silence was loud. The empty bed stretched too far. The house was hollow. No cries. No giggles. No messy routines. Just stillness.

But eventually, something shifted.

I started liking the space. I could go to the gym at 10:30 at night, just grab my keys and leave. No goodbyes. No explanations. I started seeing friends again. I was working. I had freedom. And with that came something else—relief. I missed my daughters with everything in me, but I was starting to feel like me again.

The self-esteem I’d lost to the “I loved someone else more than you” gut-punch was crawling its way back up. Not fully healed. But alive.

Jennifer and I didn’t speak for over a month. We agreed on that. We needed time. Space. Distance. Especially after everything that happened with Karen. We had to step back and take stock of who we were outside the chaos.

But eventually... we started talking again. Carefully. Gently. Like two people trying not to spook the fragile thing between them.

And little by little, we started working things out.

And then I got an idea... A brilliant idea with potentially disastrous consequences...

[elina]

Thanks for continuing....

You seem to know exactly where to stop to make your audience even more eager for more.....

[coastalkid]

Thank you for sharing this.

[goodnfun]

Chapter 6 – BLAST FROM THE PAST

With my trust shaken and not thinking straight—possibly just shy of the edge of insanity—I thought to myself, what would my wife do if she were approached by her ex, Alex? They hadn’t spoken or seen each other in years, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

So, in a moment of twisted curiosity and misplaced desire for control, I decided to test my own strength.

I struck up a plan.

I created a fake Gmail account and sent Jennifer an email, pretending to be Alex.

This was Fake Alex’s first email to Jennifer:

"Hi Jennifer,
Wow, where to start.
I know that you are likely surprised to hear from me. It’s Alex J. The internet is amazing! I wish we had it when we were growing up. You can just type in somebody’s name and up pops their information. Just so you don't think I'm a stalker, I found you on Facebook and then that linked me to a moms’ thing where I found your email. So it’s been a long time?! I guess you got married and had kids. Good for you! How are things? How have you been?
Yours truly,
Alex"

There was silence.

Jennifer told me about it.

She had already talked to her sister, and her sister advised her not to respond back. But I had a different idea.

I told Jennifer, “Email back. See how he’s doing. Just be casual.”

I wanted to test my newfound sense of independence, my supposed strength. For the first time in many years, time apart had allowed me to see myself as an individual again. The thought of not having to be defined by my relationship was thrilling, but at the same time, terrifying. I thought maybe this would help me conquer the "Ex Jealousy" demon once and for all. It had always been a constant issue, that gnawing insecurity. I was ready to face it.

It had only been a month, I know. But that month had been filled with emotional rest, turmoil, confusion, and everything in between. My world was unraveling, and I needed answers.

And secretly, I wanted to know—did Jennifer still have feelings for him? She had told me, countless times, that the feelings were long gone. That it was just a comparison to something she once felt.

But I couldn’t understand that. I couldn’t grasp how you could be “in love” with someone, break up, and then walk away from it like a chapter you simply closed in a book. For me, that was unfathomable.

I needed to know if Jennifer and I had a future. Could I really continue in this marriage if I didn’t feel special? If, deep down, there was always someone else who would have her heart? The thought was unbearable to continue with.
I couldn’t shake the idea. Even if we’re together for a lifetime, if we only take our emotions with us when we die—no memories, just feelings—would she go to Alex, not me?

And so, feeling like a man with newfound strength—I asked Jennifer to engage with Alex.

Jennifer had told me she never got closure from her breakup with Alex. It left her emotionally wrecked. She had questions. She never got answers. So, selflessly, I figured—if she talks to him (even if it’s me), maybe she’d get that closure she needed. If that was what she chose.

It was a gamble. A risky one. One thing led to another. It’s not like there was a “right path and a wrong path” but merely two paths to wander down, one step at a time.

But I was ready. I told myself, I’m standing up to this. I’ll face it.

She sent an emails back, and as expected, Jennifer asked Alex about their past. She didn’t remember many details, so she sent this:

“My memory is not the best, so I don’t remember exactly when things happened. But I know you had planned a lot of things with me, and you never followed through. I remember waiting and waiting, but you never called when you said you would.”

Alex responded:

“I remember everything about our relationship. The things that really stand out to me are:
The times when we would go for a walk on the water and splash each other by the rocks.
The time we went to the Falls and had that big fight.
I remember Don walking in on us when I was...
The time we were on the picnic bench during the daytime in the park.
"

Now, these were memories that Jennifer had shared with me—memories I had poked out of her over time, even though they left me with a bitter taste. These weren’t just stories; they were the ghosts that haunted us both.

And Jennifer responded, “If you don’t mind, and if you have the time, I would love to hear more about our relationship. I don’t remember a lot of things, and I’m not sure why. It’s been a while and I may have baby brain in my head. My memory isn’t great at remembering events, or maybe it’s traumatic?”

And with my approval, she continued. This was my test of strength, a twisted form of pain tolerance. But it also started to feel like I could help Jennifer find closure as well.

Like when we were at the party with her exes, I stayed because I wanted to confront my demons head-on. I figured if life was throwing me this challenge, I needed to stand up to it.

So after some emails back and forth, it was decided that they’d switch to “chat” instead.

And boy did it it ever get interesting…

[a2malways]

Chapter 6 – BLAST FROM THE PAST

With my trust shaken and not thinking straight—possibly just shy of the edge of insanity—I thought to myself, what would my wife do if she were approached by her ex, Alex? They hadn’t spoken or seen each other in years, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

So, in a moment of twisted curiosity and misplaced desire for control, I decided to test my own strength.

I struck up a plan.

I created a fake Gmail account and sent Jennifer an email, pretending to be Alex.

This was Fake Alex’s first email to Jennifer:

"Hi Jennifer,
Wow, where to start.
I know that you are likely surprised to hear from me. It’s Alex J. The internet is amazing! I wish we had it when we were growing up. You can just type in somebody’s name and up pops their information. Just so you don't think I'm a stalker, I found you on Facebook and then that linked me to a moms’ thing where I found your email. So it’s been a long time?! I guess you got married and had kids. Good for you! How are things? How have you been?
Yours truly,
Alex"

There was silence.

Jennifer told me about it.

She had already talked to her sister, and her sister advised her not to respond back. But I had a different idea.

I told Jennifer, “Email back. See how he’s doing. Just be casual.”

I wanted to test my newfound sense of independence, my supposed strength. For the first time in many years, time apart had allowed me to see myself as an individual again. The thought of not having to be defined by my relationship was thrilling, but at the same time, terrifying. I thought maybe this would help me conquer the "Ex Jealousy" demon once and for all. It had always been a constant issue, that gnawing insecurity. I was ready to face it.

It had only been a month, I know. But that month had been filled with emotional rest, turmoil, confusion, and everything in between. My world was unraveling, and I needed answers.

And secretly, I wanted to know—did Jennifer still have feelings for him? She had told me, countless times, that the feelings were long gone. That it was just a comparison to something she once felt.

But I couldn’t understand that. I couldn’t grasp how you could be “in love” with someone, break up, and then walk away from it like a chapter you simply closed in a book. For me, that was unfathomable.

I needed to know if Jennifer and I had a future. Could I really continue in this marriage if I didn’t feel special? If, deep down, there was always someone else who would have her heart? The thought was unbearable to continue with.
I couldn’t shake the idea. Even if we’re together for a lifetime, if we only take our emotions with us when we die—no memories, just feelings—would she go to Alex, not me?

And so, feeling like a man with newfound strength—I asked Jennifer to engage with Alex.

Jennifer had told me she never got closure from her breakup with Alex. It left her emotionally wrecked. She had questions. She never got answers. So, selflessly, I figured—if she talks to him (even if it’s me), maybe she’d get that closure she needed. If that was what she chose.

It was a gamble. A risky one. One thing led to another. It’s not like there was a “right path and a wrong path” but merely two paths to wander down, one step at a time.

But I was ready. I told myself, I’m standing up to this. I’ll face it.

She sent an emails back, and as expected, Jennifer asked Alex about their past. She didn’t remember many details, so she sent this:

“My memory is not the best, so I don’t remember exactly when things happened. But I know you had planned a lot of things with me, and you never followed through. I remember waiting and waiting, but you never called when you said you would.”

Alex responded:

“I remember everything about our relationship. The things that really stand out to me are:
The times when we would go for a walk on the water and splash each other by the rocks.
The time we went to the Falls and had that big fight.
I remember Don walking in on us when I was...
The time we were on the picnic bench during the daytime in the park.
"

Now, these were memories that Jennifer had shared with me—memories I had poked out of her over time, even though they left me with a bitter taste. These weren’t just stories; they were the ghosts that haunted us both.

And Jennifer responded, “If you don’t mind, and if you have the time, I would love to hear more about our relationship. I don’t remember a lot of things, and I’m not sure why. It’s been a while and I may have baby brain in my head. My memory isn’t great at remembering events, or maybe it’s traumatic?”

And with my approval, she continued. This was my test of strength, a twisted form of pain tolerance. But it also started to feel like I could help Jennifer find closure as well.

Like when we were at the party with her exes, I stayed because I wanted to confront my demons head-on. I figured if life was throwing me this challenge, I needed to stand up to it.

So after some emails back and forth, it was decided that they’d switch to “chat” instead.

And boy did it it ever get interesting…

Please continue

[goodnfun]

Sorry, I've have been away the last couple days.

Here's the actual emails!

Now, I know this is horrible, but I’m actually writing on behalf of Alex. Just for clarity. Jennifer is NOT talking with her ex. She's talking with ME pretending to be him and she has no clue. She's also not at home as we're on a bit of a break while I sort my shit out.

I’m testing my wife to see if I can learn anything new or have her “prove” her love to me. I'm looking to see how she behaves. FWIW, Jennifer's memory isn’t the best at events. She has a spectacular memory with faces and numbers, but can’t recall moments to save her life. She’s got some locked in up there, but they seem to be hidden away. She’s told me enough over the years that I can “fill in the gaps” and hold my own in a conversation with her about her past.

Everything below starts with the the very first email and the timestamps of the messages. I’ve removed some names and and replaced some things with (*) asterisks. I’ll start with the original unedited message (I had it above, but think it’s important to keep the flow going. It all gets pretty messy.

I will say though, It’s weird to be going back over this stuff. I feel like an absolutely horrible person for this and I need to deal with the consequences.



———————————————————


Aug 27, 2010, 9:39 PM

Hi Jennifer,
Wow, where to start.
I know that you are likely surprised to hear from me. It’s Alex J. The internet is amazing! I wish we had it when we were growing up. You can just type in somebody’s name and up pops their information. Just so you don't think I'm a stalker, I found you on Facebook and then that linked me to a moms’ thing where I found your email. So it’s been a long time?! I guess you got married and had kids. Good for you! How are things? How have you been?
Yours truly,
Alex
...

————————————————————

Aug 30, 2010, 12:00 AM

Alex,

I am very surprised to hear from you.  Yes it's been a long time, what have you been up to?  Are you married?  I did get married to my wonderful husband Rob.  My husband and I have been together for almost 13 years and we have two daughters (3 1/2 and 15 months).   We’re doing very well.  How are things with you?

Jennifer

—————————————————

Aug 30, 2010, 1:10 AM

Oh good!

I wasn't even sure if I emailed the right Jennifer. I'm glad that I didn't sent the email to the wrong person. That would have been funny.

I never pictured you with kids. Your sister seemed to like kids, but not you.

What have I been up to... I'll try to make it short. I'll start where we left off I guess.

After our last summer together I went off to college for being a mechanic. I did one year there, almost two but I had an accident and a piece of metal shot up and got me in the eye. The doctor said I was likely going to lose my eye sight in that eye and when he said that I would't be able to work in a shop I freaked out. All of a sudden school didn't matter and I told them that I wanted to see you but I couldn’t go because I wasn’t allowed to drive. I asked for you to visit me, but you didn’t. I was told that you didn’t work at the ******** anymore. I remembered you called me and we talked though, but I don’t remember about what? It’s kind of a blur. Lot’s of pain killers.
 
Anyways, after the accident it took 5 months and 4 operations and I got 80% of my sight back again. But I still couldn’t drive for one year. So I came back home instead of Toronto and did a one year certification at College.
 
Then I went up to North for a few years. Then 5 years at Honda. I drove to work every day. Then I got a job in ********** (25 minutes south of ***********) and am still there now. I usually work 4 days on, 4 days off so I can go and sail for 3 days in a row. Next summer I'm going to move my boat to so it is closer.

I never got married. Actually, it was a few years after we were together that I finally started dating again. Our breakup and my accident messed me up. I was really into you but you and Ben were always together, even when we were dating. After our breakup I felt like I couldn't trust anyone and it took me a long time to get over it. But that was a long time ago.

So since then I've had a few serious relationships but no kids or marriage. So I'm single right now, but that's okay. It lets me spend as much time as I want on the water!

Anyways, it's good to hear that your doing OK. I hope your husband realizes how lucky he is. I bet your girls are really pretty. I still have that polaroid picture of you (remember? hahaha). It's hard to believe that was twenty years ago!

That's actually what reminded me of you and I decided to look you up on the internet.  Time goes by so fast.  If only we knew then what we knew now we wouldn't have made the same mistakes.

How about you? Where did you go after **********? Did you go back to school? How is your sister? Did she get married and have kids? I bet she did.

Alex

————————————————-

Aug 30, 2010, 8:57 PM

Alex,

I wasn't even sure if I was going to have any kids but once I hit 35 I started to think that maybe I should so we decided to have kids.  As for our breakup I only remember that you were cheating on me with someone named Allison.  My memory is not the best so I don't remember exactly when things happened.  But I know that you had planned a lot of things with me but you never followed through with them.  I remember waiting and waiting to hear from you but you never called when you said you would. 

As for ********** I finally left ********** around 1997 and I got a job working at ********** in ********** and then I did go back to school.  I went to ******** and took a brutal 8 month program and graduated while working full time.  My husband convinced me to go back to college and I am so glad that I did.  That just opened doors to other job opportunities.  Then Rob and I moved in together in ************ and I worked at *********** and then after that I went to another ********** and was a supervisor.  Then after that I got a job in a law firm and was the front receptionist and then my husband got a really good job offer in ************* so we moved there and we have lived there for the past 5 years.  Once we had children I became a stay at home Mom while my husband supported the family. 

Our past relationship is a little fuzzy for me.  I do realize that I was a little messed up regarding Ben and I am sorry for that.  I even recall one time when we were intimate and I called out Ben name.  That was so wrong in so many levels.  How is your brother?  How are your parents doing? 

As for my sister, she married *********** they have two children a boy age 6 and a girl age 5. 

Jennifer

—————————————-

Aug 30, 2010, 10:05 PM

I remember everything and I NEVER cheated on you with Allison. We were simply roomates.   I loved you more than you can imagine and would never do something like that to hurt you.

I don’t know if you remember, but you kept breaking up with me to get back together with Ben. It went on for a couple of years. Then the summer before I went to school, I went to your house and everyone way playing badminton in the backyard.  I got there and saw that you were playing badminton with Ben and your sister. You didn’t see me but I saw you t at Ben and you were telling him to “give it to you good and hard” or something like that. I went up to your room and got changed and calmed down. You said that you didn’t mean for it to sound that way but it sure sounded like it. You made me so mad sometimes and I couldn’t trust you when you were with Ben because you kept going back to him. You made me feel so unsure of our relationship. You would say one thing but then do another.
 
You kept bouncing between me and Ben and so I kept living with Allison because you kept hanging around with Ben. It was a stupid “tit for tat” kind of thing. Anyways, that night we went to the drive-in and I think we saw son-in-law and some other movie. You had a headache and told me that you wished that I could get rid of your headache the way that “Ben does” and that made me really upset…  2 for 2 that night!
 
THat was when we had the fight and I didn’t talk to you for a week. Then, I came to a bonfire and was looking for you and I saw you sitting with Ben and talking to him. You always seemed to be with him! You didn’t see me but I left. I was sure that you were cheating on me at that point... That’s when I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to go stay at my Aunts and move on with my life. I had almost nowhere to go. I was so messed up! I was lost and had nowhere to go.

I remember everything about our relationship. It was the best thing that ever happened to me... The things that really stand out for me are:

- The times when we would go for a walk on the water and splash eachother by the rocks.
- The time when we went to ***** and I took that naughty polaroid picutre that caused a fight (You were really into it until I said I wasn't going to rip it up and I was going to keep it forever! And I have.)
- I remember Donny walking in on us when I was...
- The time we made love on the picnic bench during the daytime in the park.
- Mostly though, i remember the kissing. It was so good. You were so good at it. You were such a tease the way that you would...  well, nevermind. hahahahaha.

I'm just sorry it had to end the way it did. I was a stupid kid and you were always messing with me (whether you knew it or not)...  And yeah,  I remember when we were doing it (well, almost) and you said Ben's name. That ended that pretty quickly. You made me so insecure with him around all the time.

Anyways, <***brothers name***> is good.  He's actually working out East doing construction.  He operates heavy machinery.  He's married and has two boys, 10 and 7.

My parents are good too. They asked me if I've gotten back in touch with you.  They tell me that you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

They kept trying to get me to call you. They said they saw you in ******* after we broke up with some guy with a moustache?  Is that Rob? I never pictured you liking a moustache. You were always a passionate kisser and I figured that would bother you? I tried growing one once and you said "Shave it off so I can kiss you deeper!"

That's all I needed to hear and I did.

How is your dad?

- Alex

——————————————

Aug 31, 2010, 12:16 AM
Alex,

Isn't that amazing that we both remember things so differently.  By the way it may have seemed like I might have been cheating on you with Ben but I never did cheat on you with him or anyone for that matter.  I didn't realize my actions would appear the way they did.

Just so you know I was very much in love with you and I thought we would have been the couple to get married and have kids.  But I think we both just didn't communicate with each other how we both felt.  Like how it always seemed that when you would show up to see me and Ben would be there and we just happened to be sitting beside each other but we only did at the time when you would show up.  You know what I mean.  It was just wrong timing and we weren't communication obviously.  I now realize why it felt like you wanted me to think that you were cheating on me with Allison because you thought I was cheating on you.  I remember finding the number once and I called it and she answered and I didn't know she was just your room mate but I'm not sure if you clearly told me what she was or maybe I was just insecure and thought that you were cheating on me.  Either way we both screwed up and we just have to accept it.

You know what my husband and I recently went to *********'s daughter's birthday party a couple of month's ago and three of my ex boyfriends were there and he didn't like it either.  I didn't know that they were going to be there but even now I still run into Ben sometimes but only when I'm visiting my sister.  They still kind of hang out.

As for this naughty polaroid picture you have of me, now this may sound weird but would you be able to scan it and email it to me?  Also what was I doing in the picture?  Was it a pose?  Did I spread my legs open? 

Also would you be able to send me a current or recent photo of you?  I was going through my photo's recently and I only had like 2 pictures of you and they were only part of your face and they were side view shots.  I'm just curious to see how you look to how I remember you.  I couldn't really see the picture of you on your boat, you are just too far away. 

As for the details of what you remember (because I don't have the best memory), can you give me more details about our sexual relationship?  Like the different positions we did and how often.  Also the time when we did it on the picnic table were we naked or partly clothed and was there anybody around?  I do remember that we kissed a lot and I did enjoy that. 

The things I remember are the following:

- I do remember going to *********and I remember we had a fight but I couldn't remember what the fight was about
- I remember waiting for you after work at *************
- We played a lot in the car after your shifts were done
- I remember when we first started dating that your parents didn't like me for some reason
- I remember having to drive your black two door car in the icey snow to ********** all by myself
- I do remember your Mom coming in to ********** looking for me asking me to see you after you had your accident but I was in a relationship and it didn't feel right going to see an ex boyfriend.  But I felt bad so I called you to see how you were doing.
-I remember being in the basement of the new house your parents lived in and we used to make out down there.

If you don't mind and have the time I would love to hear more about our relationship.  I don't remember a lot of things and I'm not sure why.

************ is an odd place to live.  I find that there are a lot of older people that live there.  The guy that your parents saw me with was not Rob it was a different guy that I was dating and yes he did have a moustache but he kept it well trimmed and it wasn't too bad to kiss.  As for my Dad he is not doing very well.  He had a mild stroke about 2 years ago and he had another very mild stroke in June.  He has lost his driver's license due to the stroke.  But considering what he has gone through he is doing well.  He is still with *********.  They live in ********** right now. 

Anyways talk to you soon.

Jennifer

------------------------------------------

Now keep in mind. Jennifer is telling me about this stuff. She's not just chatting with him and keeping it a secret. She's openly sharing and I'm putting her up to going further. But she's 100% the one writing the emails back.

I'm not going to add every email here. Only the very first ones as they really help to set the stage.

[sabya167]

Curious as hell and can't wait. Please continue.

[goodnfun]

Okay, so the next round of emails:

--------------------------------------

Aug 31, 2010, 1:05 AM

Wow, you've caught me off guard.

I remember everything about our sexual history...  You were very into sex/kissing and had a few quirks. I'm not going to talk about too much detail but I'll give you the overview of what you're asking about.

THE POLAROID
There are a few actually, but you only knew about the one. There are 4 of them in total (I have all 4). I took all of them while we went to ********.

This pictures are:

1) You're standing in front of the camera topless and covering your boobs (Your boobs were awesome by the way! They were perfect!)
2) There's a shot of me on top with my **** inside half way with you on your back
3) There's another shot of you doggy style and my **** in all the way
4) There's another shot of you in Doggy with half my **** in your bum (That shocked you but then started to rock back and forth until I c*m*. That was really hot!)

I don't have a scanner though so I don't know how I would get them to you? I don't want to take them to staples to get them scanned, that would just be weird. hahahahaha

Anyways,  you had been drinking a bit when we were taking the pictures. The next morning we both woke up and you remembered and wanted them ripped up.  I said I needed to keep at least one (but I kept 4) and that's when we got into the huge fight. It was stupid.

Do you really want to see the Polaroids? What would you do with them? I could buy a scanner or maybe take a picture with my digital camera?

I remember that was really good sex (Actually, it was all good!)  It started off being tricky, and we didn't enjoy cleaning up after I "did my thing" because there was always a lot. So we got into the habit of me doing it in a cup and then putting it in the garbage or, you taking it and swallowing (but usually in the cup). Sometimes if you were in the right mood though, you would tell me to "force you to take it in the mouth." You liked being forced to do things. Are you still like that???

THE PARK
This was one of the best times we ever had... You were wearing a skirt/dress and we walked quickly to the most secluded spot of the park and I sat down on a park bench/table.  You were facing me and lifted the hem of your skirt and no undies!   Then you straddled me just then and sank down onto me. You bounced and swayed and I lifted your top so that I could squeeze your boobs.   You were loving every second of it, totally oblivious to the rest of the world.  Just when I was about to *** I looked over your shoulder and saw a small group of people watching you ride me from behind a row of short bushes. I lifted the back of your skirt so that they could watch my **** sliding in and out. I pumped it in at that time and you kept riding me harder until you had an orgasm.  You loved having an orgasm while you were on top and we were doing it.When you were cumming, you would usually come down and give me the deepest kissing with a lot of tongue. It was so dirty and erotic! I could usually get hard and go at it again with my stuff still inside you! And that time, I'm pretty sure you had no clue you were being watched which turned me on even more!
--
Hahahaha, I'm sorry, I lied...  I went into more details than I initially thought... It's too late to edit the stories above to be PG13 (right now they are 18+) but it got me horny remembering it.  We had some really wild times. I'm sharing because you asked for details though. We had the best sex ever!

Anyways, if you have any other questions, let me know.  I feel like I still know you. Thank-you for not ignoring me or being weird. I'm not feeling awkward talking about this at all...It's really turning me on actually.  Time to break out the polaroids! (wink wink)  I wonder how your husband would react if he knew you were talking like this with me? hahahaha

- Alex

————————————————

Aug 31, 2010, 10:36 AM

Hi Jennifer,

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

I should have never responded to your email last night. I should have saved it and re-read it this morning before I sent it.  I just re-read it and I'm embarrassed about some of the things I said.  Please don't take it te wrong way. You asked, I answered.

It's not like we were just crazy about sex. I was more in love with you than anything and I think that's what made the sex and intimacy so good. It didn't happen all that often but when it did, it was magical and amazing. It was so perfect. We were so in love.  I don't know why you kept going back to Ben? Maybe you were missing something with me? Even though I never pictured you with kids, we did talk about them. I was sure that we would have gotten married one day... That's why I was so crushed with how we ended it.  I always felt like I wasn't good enough for you.

Anyways, to clarify a bit more so you don't think I was a sicko, the park/picnic table thing happened because you didn't want to do it in the car. You wanted more room so it made sense to do it outside. It was convenient that we were in a park at the time. But the passion of the moment took over and it got kinky.

You had a dark streak to you. Remember when donny walked in on me under the covers with you?  That was the first time you had been "caught" and I remember that when he left you forced me to finish you off because you were so turned on that he saw you lying there and he saw your tits. When he left, you grabbed my hair and forced it, and it didn't take long.

But one thing you never really liked was kissing me after I did that so it didn't happen often.

You also asked me about the positions we used to do it in. Well, not many on average, but when we were outside or whatever, we had our moments. But it's not like we had the internet or sex books to learn from. It was usually me on top because it was in the car and easiest that way. Sometimes, you'd be on top, but it was usually me. That way I could lean over and kiss you easily. You loved kissing and so did I. It was so erotic, just like the movies. Starting off slow and by the end of it, your lips were soaked (both sets!). You did this amazign thing with your tongue when we kissed and it was so soft and sensual. When you started doing that, I could never last more than 30 seconds.

And when we were kissing like that, I would always do it inside. There's no way I could have pulled out to find a stupid cup.  Sometimes we were making love with the kissing.  Other times, we just screwed hard. But I'd say we mostly made love.

There were a few times that we got caught because of being in the car or whatever, but that just seemed to turn you on and you got really horny from it.

I don't have any pictures of me.  As you know, I never liked my picture being taken so I don't have any. I'm sorry. The picture of the boat was taken by someone else and emailed to me... It's from a couple years ago. Do you have any recent pics of you? I can picture you in my head and you were so pretty. I bet you still look amazing!

I have a few questions for you now?
1. I've got to know... Are you still kinky?
2. Is sex/intimacy as good with your husband or was it better with me? Do you even remember it with me? You said that you don't remember much. I'm just curious because of all my experience, it was the best with you, hands down.
3. Did you ever get the car you wanted? i think it was a Camaro?
4. Do you still watch those daytime tv shows?
5. Do you have any dogs? You used to love dogs!

Anyways, I'm just heading to the lake for a couple days so if I don't respond to any more emails for a bit, that's why. It's supposed to be nice and hot!  I'm glad that I've been eating right and staying healthy. I think I look better than I did 20 years ago! I was docking my boat about a month ago wearing by bathing trunks and a tank top and a couple girls came walking by and said that i was really hot. They were pretty college girls too! That made this old man feel good. hahahaha.

Anyways, take your time to respond, I won't be back for a couple days. You were my first love and you'll always have a piece of my heart. It's yours forever.

Yours truly,
- Alex

———————————————-

Aug 31, 2010, 10:18 PM


Hi Jennifer,

Well, it turns out that it's stormy so I'm not going out on the boat today or tomorrow...   I also took a digital picture of the one polaroid for you to see. It's a bit blurry. Sorry, I don't have a scanner.

This picture was the private hottub in the hotel that we rented for an hour. Remember the round beds? Anyways, I think you can see one of the cans of beer in the back that you were drinking to loosen you up for the pics I took a bit later! hahahaha

I'm not sure that I'm comfortable sending you the other ones since it's got my "man part" in them.  I'm still thinking about that. Try to convince me!


——————

So Alex (Me) had sent three emails to Jennifer in a row INCLUDING the very risky "polaroid photos" I manufactured. Pushing boundaries and walking the tight line of knowing what worked for Jennifer, what her turn ons were, what she was telling me and she I could read between the lines.

I have the benefit of knowing exactly what she was telling me and knew exactly how Alex should respond. Do I mention that all these years later, I feel horrible? In the moment, the path was not so clear. I didn't know how it would unfold. It was unfolding one word at a time and was very careful maneuvering. There's was A LOT of risk involved with triggering Jennifer's emotions with someone she was head over heels for at one time. How would this end? What was the end game? There wasn't one.

FWIW, THE PARK was completely made up. Jennifer never told me anything about that. I was curious if telling her that she'd be like "OH YEAH! But I remember it differently" or something.

Jennifer didn’t email Alex back. She was conflicted. She was concerned and she was telling me about it. She was telling me that she was curious, I was telling her to go with it and see what else she could uncover. I was looking for answers from Jennifer and was baiting her with her past (both real and made up memories) to see if it would trigger memories.

The last one now had me in Photoshop (I’m highly skilled) and I was swapping her head into other bodies and manufacturing a collage of three polaroids on a table top. I was trying to figure out how well I could do this before I committed. 


But I got the "photo" of the polaroids pretty darn good!