Buying a love nest?

[hotcouple66]

Hello,

Vi are a couple in the late 30s/early 40s that have two kids.

My wife feels so tired on that life. Our youngest kid have som sort of diagnosis, and craves a lot of attention from morning to evening.

She have proposed that we should buy some sort of love nest, not far from home. A place where she could spend time on her own. Like a small apartment with kitchen, livingroom, bedroom and bathroom.
Thing is, that she have been with a lover a couple of times before. I know she likes the attention. I think that he would spend time with her there as well. Maybe daytime, maybe over night or over a weekend. they do all kind of stuff together. Like going out, taking walks, going on shorter vaccations

You guys think that it would be a good idea? Or are there som risk that we (or me) should take in consideration?
I absolutley not want to lose her to the other guy or anyone else...

What do you think about the above?

[venus-can99]

Hc - if your marriage and relationship is strong then the danger of losing her to bull is very small. If there are cracks then it may not work well. Only the two of you know how things are now and the extent of her involvement with her bf

[Cdncuck]

Really, only you and your wife can make that decision.

[Cdncuck]

Really, only you and your wife can make that decision.

[Dutch cuckold]

Some more information would help. Do you guys talk a lot? You still have sex? Etc.

[Maddie_Hippychick]

Talk it through. Could be fun. Maybe even a good real estate investment over time. Make sure you discuss boundaries. How much time will she spend there? How much time at home? How will you two stay connected as a couple? What about you? Will you be able to use it as a getaway too? Will you be allowed to entertain play partners there? When she is there will you need to call her before stopping by? Who else can have a key? Who will do the chores/maintenance at the second place? Will you get cable and internet? Lol

[coastalkid]

Talk it through. Could be fun. Maybe even a good real estate investment over time. Make sure you discuss boundaries. How much time will she spend there? How much time at home? How will you two stay connected as a couple? What about you? Will you be able to use it as a getaway too? Will you be allowed to entertain play partners there? When she is there will you need to call her before stopping by? Who else can have a key? Who will do the chores/maintenance at the second place? Will you get cable and internet? Lol

This is the reality and these questions and their answers will be telling. I absolutely love that you have asked, "What about you?" I would worry that if things go south or they hit a rough spot that the "love nest" will become a refuge to hide out and avoid confrontation. If this second home turns into nothing more than a place to carry out clandestine meetings with lovers unbeknownst to the husband it could have devastating consequences.

Thanks for keeping things real Maddie Hippychick! It's fun to think about the "fun" possibilities but it is imperative to discuss the liabilities even more so!

[nevertoolate]

In my signature line I used to mention "every wife needs a marriage vacation." Vacations are needed to break up our routines. Taking a marriage vacation means she gets to leave her family behind, with all the worries and burdens that come with it. Like most vacations, there is the intent to enjoy new things and people. Could be for any personal hobby or interest. When the vacation is over, there is also the thrill of returning home. My wife did that a few times. This was before the days of cell phones so it was easier for her to enjoy herself without interruptions. Her hobby was her long term lover. Either a weekend or a week, we both enjoyed the thrill and adventure.

Absence makes the fond grow harder.

[SubSnuggler]

Setting aside any money considerations - no.

Hotels and AirBnb's are fine. Hotel lockdowns are fine. House parties are fine. A permanent getaway is not fine. A compromise would be a getaway on your property. Perhaps a new 'she shed'.

[hotcouple66]

Some more information would help. Do you guys talk a lot? You still have sex? Etc.

Talk a lot we normally do, but we dont have much sex anymore. I suffer from ED, because of different medications.
I cant satisfy her.

[hotcouple66]

Talk it through. Could be fun. Maybe even a good real estate investment over time. Make sure you discuss boundaries. How much time will she spend there? How much time at home? How will you two stay connected as a couple? What about you? Will you be able to use it as a getaway too? Will you be allowed to entertain play partners there? When she is there will you need to call her before stopping by? Who else can have a key? Who will do the chores/maintenance at the second place? Will you get cable and internet? Lol

Good questions. But gess we dont have answers to all of thoose. Would it be wrong or risky to let that clear out during the time. Letting the lust and the need for "me time" decide how, when and how long? I would respect the privacy, no suprise etc. what do you mean with cable and internet?

[hotcouple66]

Talk it through. Could be fun. Maybe even a good real estate investment over time. Make sure you discuss boundaries. How much time will she spend there? How much time at home? How will you two stay connected as a couple? What about you? Will you be able to use it as a getaway too? Will you be allowed to entertain play partners there? When she is there will you need to call her before stopping by? Who else can have a key? Who will do the chores/maintenance at the second place? Will you get cable and internet? Lol

This is the reality and these questions and their answers will be telling. I absolutely love that you have asked, "What about you?" I would worry that if things go south or they hit a rough spot that the "love nest" will become a refuge to hide out and avoid confrontation. If this second home turns into nothing more than a place to carry out clandestine meetings with lovers unbeknownst to the husband it could have devastating consequences.

Thanks for keeping things real Maddie Hippychick! It's fun to think about the "fun" possibilities but it is imperative to discuss the liabilities even more so!

You think it would be a risky business?

[coastalkid]

Talk it through. Could be fun. Maybe even a good real estate investment over time. Make sure you discuss boundaries. How much time will she spend there? How much time at home? How will you two stay connected as a couple? What about you? Will you be able to use it as a getaway too? Will you be allowed to entertain play partners there? When she is there will you need to call her before stopping by? Who else can have a key? Who will do the chores/maintenance at the second place? Will you get cable and internet? Lol

This is the reality and these questions and their answers will be telling. I absolutely love that you have asked, "What about you?" I would worry that if things go south or they hit a rough spot that the "love nest" will become a refuge to hide out and avoid confrontation. If this second home turns into nothing more than a place to carry out clandestine meetings with lovers unbeknownst to the husband it could have devastating consequences.

Thanks for keeping things real Maddie Hippychick! It's fun to think about the "fun" possibilities but it is imperative to discuss the liabilities even more so!

You think it would be a risky business?

All risks have an opportunity for rewards and losses. Simply buying a second home has risks alone. There's no guarantee that you will make money on the investment.

From an entertainment/enhancing your sex life aspect it could be the best thing you've ever done or the very worst. The only way you can protect yourself is if you have lengthy conversations with your wife regarding what your shared expectations would be. Things have a way of progressing and attitudes and behaviors change too. If you feel like you've been clear about what you want and your wife has made it clear what she wants then nothing will come out of left field to make you regret the purchase in the first place.

I'm not trying to be negative. The last thing you want is to tell yourself is that buying that place was the beginning of the end. It could turn out to be everything you dream that it will be. Do your due diligence and your heart and mind will rest easier.

[Maddie_Hippychick]

Good questions. But gess we dont have answers to all of thoose. Would it be wrong or risky to let that clear out during the time. Letting the lust and the need for "me time" decide how, when and how long? I would respect the privacy, no suprise etc. what do you mean with cable and internet?

I just meant all of those as an example of the things you should talk about so you both can set expectations. She might be thinking one thing while you’re thinking something entirely different. Best to try to identify those differences before they become issues. Everything is negotiable, and things can change over time. But, I don’t think it’s wise to go into it with the attitude that you’ll just figure it out as you go.

As for cable and internet, again just an example, maybe you want to get the full NFL package and a huge TV so that you can spend the whole day Sunday watching football. She can have it any other day of the week, but Sunday is yours. Just an example.

You have to ask yourself, what do I get out of this? A happy wife? Awesome! How often are you going to see her? Will that work for you? Maybe you want more free time to do other things, like restore an old car, go fishing/hunting, whatever. It’s OK for you to get something out of this too. Just try to have some understanding of what that is going in.

[coastalkid]

Good questions. But gess we dont have answers to all of thoose. Would it be wrong or risky to let that clear out during the time. Letting the lust and the need for "me time" decide how, when and how long? I would respect the privacy, no suprise etc. what do you mean with cable and internet?

I just meant all of those as an example of the things you should talk about so you both can set expectations. She might be thinking one thing while you’re thinking something entirely different. Best to try to identify those differences before they become issues. Everything is negotiable, and things can change over time. But, I don’t think it’s wise to go into it with the attitude that you’ll just figure it out as you go.

As for cable and internet, again just an example, maybe you want to get the full NFL package and a huge TV so that you can spend the whole day Sunday watching football. She can have it any other day of the week, but Sunday is yours. Just an example.

You have to ask yourself, what do I get out of this? A happy wife? Awesome! How often are you going to see her? Will that work for you? Maybe you want more free time to do other things, like restore an old car, go fishing/hunting, whatever. It’s OK for you to get something out of this too. Just try to have some understanding of what that is going in.

[hotcouple66]

Good questions. But gess we dont have answers to all of thoose. Would it be wrong or risky to let that clear out during the time. Letting the lust and the need for "me time" decide how, when and how long? I would respect the privacy, no suprise etc. what do you mean with cable and internet?

I just meant all of those as an example of the things you should talk about so you both can set expectations. She might be thinking one thing while you’re thinking something entirely different. Best to try to identify those differences before they become issues. Everything is negotiable, and things can change over time. But, I don’t think it’s wise to go into it with the attitude that you’ll just figure it out as you go.

As for cable and internet, again just an example, maybe you want to get the full NFL package and a huge TV so that you can spend the whole day Sunday watching football. She can have it any other day of the week, but Sunday is yours. Just an example.

You have to ask yourself, what do I get out of this? A happy wife? Awesome! How often are you going to see her? Will that work for you? Maybe you want more free time to do other things, like restore an old car, go fishing/hunting, whatever. It’s OK for you to get something out of this too. Just try to have some understanding of what that is going in.

Thanks for a very good answer. Seems to be many things to take into consideration. More then i thought of to be honest.