My wife does not like me to be submissive

[Imlikeatoy]

Its been 15 years since the first time my wife fucked another guy in front of me. Since then, we meet single men once or twice a year. As my wife and I explore this fantasy, I started to realized how much of a Cuck I am. I fantasize with the idea of being hummiliated by my size while she enjoys biggers guys, I fantasize cleaning her up after a big load from another male, etc. But, my wife does not enjoy that, she does not like the idea of me being submissive, she cannot comprehend the idea of hummiliation, which has led to taking a break. Last time she fucked another guy was 4 years ago.

So my wife and I been talking about it, and we are trying to meet halfway, she explains to me that her turn on is the idea of being the center of attention, fucking another guy and me being present and participating, not submissive, but in control. She does not want me to clean her up or even mentioning how small I am compared to the other guy.

At the end I will meet her half way, I want her to be comfortable, but I wonder if anyone else has gone thru this and if you have any suggestion so my wife opens to the idea of me being more cuck.

Thanks.

[coastalkid]

I often wonder how much of your specific dynamic (and others with similar circumstance) has to with non-sexual time. I wonder if a wife/gf may see this submissive behavior as a personalty trait that carries on outside of the sexual realm (whether actual or perceived). Submissiveness as sexual dalliance is "somewhat" accepted, more so in the people that enjoy an expanded/liberated sexual lifestyle. In the "real world" submissiveness is abhorrent and seen as a character flaw, weakness.

I can see how a wife/gf might see submissiveness as an unwanted character trait. Wives and gfs often look to their partners as a source of strength and support. Submissiveness in their view may diminish that. Further, wives and gfs may not share the thrill of their role in humiliating. They may see it as uncharacteristic of their own personalities and therefore contrived. In a sense they may see it as asking them to be something they simply are not.

I know a specific couple on this site where the wife enjoys her hot wife lifestyle and her husband craves what you crave. She doesn't share his craving and feels uncomfortable in the role. She simply can't bring herself to give her husband what he wants. Even when she has forced herself to try, her husband can tell that in her heart she's not into it and it ruined the effort for her husband. The result was and has been that when it's no fun, it's no fun for anyone.

Their results are much like yours. They have had to put things on pause. Her husband feels left out. She enjoys her freedom AND the freedom to NOT participate in the things she doesn't like which leaves her husband unfulfilled. You are far from alone in your situation/dilemma. It's a real thing that happens. The only thing that comes to mind is discussing "compartmentalizing" and separating the sex life from the "real life". It is ironic to think that asking a wife/gf to have sex outside of marriage is less uncomfortable than asking a wife to engage in humiliation.

[troilusand]

Well you could try finding a bull (I HATE the term, but here it might be appropriate) that will play the Dom role you want from your wife. She might accept him humiliating you...or she might even find SHE LIKES IT! Or...it might confirm she HATES it and that might give you closure on the idea.

Also, you could try Domming her by FORCING your submissiveness on her. I mean, TELL her you're eating his creampie; or talking to her about how you enjoy "watching my slutwife getting fucked by that big ol' dick he's sporting" while he fucks her. That is, your degradation of yourself comes from degrading her. It may be YOU doing it, but everyone in the room hears you imply you have a little pee pee!

If none of that works, you can just masturbate a lot like I do.

Troilus

[Imlikeatoy]

I often wonder how much of your specific dynamic (and others with similar circumstance) has to with non-sexual time. I wonder if a wife/gf may see this submissive behavior as a personalty trait that carries on outside of the sexual realm (whether actual or perceived). Submissiveness as sexual dalliance is "somewhat" accepted, more so in the people that enjoy an expanded/liberated sexual lifestyle. In the "real world" submissiveness is abhorrent and seen as a character flaw, weakness.

I can see how a wife/gf might see submissiveness as an unwanted character trait. Wives and gfs often look to their partners as a source of strength and support. Submissiveness in their view may diminish that. Further, wives and gfs may not share the thrill of their role in humiliating. They may see it as uncharacteristic of their own personalities and therefore contrived. In a sense they may see it as asking them to be something they simply are not.

I know a specific couple on this site where the wife enjoys her hot wife lifestyle and her husband craves what you crave. She doesn't share his craving and feels uncomfortable in the role. She simply can't bring herself to give her husband what he wants. Even when she has forced herself to try, her husband can tell that in her heart she's not into it and it ruined the effort for her husband. The result was and has been that when it's no fun, it's no fun for anyone.

Their results are much like yours. They have had to put things on pause. Her husband feels left out. She enjoys her freedom AND the freedom to NOT participate in the things she doesn't like which leaves her husband unfulfilled. You are far from alone in your situation/dilemma. It's a real thing that happens. The only thing that comes to mind is discussing "compartmentalizing" and separating the sex life from the "real life". It is ironic to think that asking a wife/gf to have sex outside of marriage is less uncomfortable than asking a wife to engage in humiliation.

Thanks a lot! This gave me a new perspective! This really helps. (BTW- I'm new on this blog and I think while I was trying to repply, I "reported" the comment. Sorry about that my mistake.

[coastalkid]

Thanks a lot! This gave me a new perspective! This really helps. (BTW- I'm new on this blog and I think while I was trying to repply, I "reported" the comment. Sorry about that my mistake.

No worries. If I were to be banned from this website I don't think many people would miss my participation anyway.

[hornedhubby]

Not true, ck. Don't underestimate the value of your input on this site. Everyone with a brain on here respects your intelligence and your fascination with this kink. You are among the true wife lovers.

Your reply to the OP was a bullseye.

My marriage has been an FLR for most of its 44 years. I can relate to the OP's issues. It takes a very generous wife to keep a subby happy. Life can get in the way of that for years, even decades at a time. When dominant wives get lazy or stingy about dishing out the dessert and also refuse to discuss it, it can hurt a lot. Especially if the subby hubby feels like he is giving his best.

Sometimes the best course for him is simply to accept her definition of the relationship and realize that he's serving her best by accepting her limits.

This is, after all, a form of submission.

[Angela Plays]

Thanks a lot! This gave me a new perspective! This really helps. (BTW- I'm new on this blog and I think while I was trying to repply, I "reported" the comment. Sorry about that my mistake.

No worries. If I were to be banned from this website I don't think many people would miss my participation anyway.

I would miss you

[dnic]

Thanks a lot! This gave me a new perspective! This really helps. (BTW- I'm new on this blog and I think while I was trying to repply, I "reported" the comment. Sorry about that my mistake.

No worries. If I were to be banned from this website I don't think many people would miss my participation anyway.

I'd miss you input.

[wulfenus]

wise words I think by CK. humiliation, the word, can be tough for a wife to want of her man.

seems like some of the items you like can remain in your head as opposed to 'out loud',
also you can use other words, say it turns you on to be embarrassed, may be easier to deal with,

as in boy that was embarrassing, but, somehow I liked it.

also chagrin, ignominy, from my words for the week haha, just ideas.

I can see how a wife/gf might see submissiveness as an unwanted character trait. Wives and gfs often look to their partners as a source of strength and support. Submissiveness in their view may diminish that. Further, wives and gfs may not share the thrill of their role in humiliating. They may see it as uncharacteristic of their own personalities and therefore contrived. In a sense they may see it as asking them to be something they simply are not.

[PlzFuckMyHotwife]

Thanks a lot! This gave me a new perspective! This really helps. (BTW- I'm new on this blog and I think while I was trying to repply, I "reported" the comment. Sorry about that my mistake.

No worries. If I were to be banned from this website I don't think many people would miss my participation anyway.

@coastalkid, I appreciate the perspective you bring to the table and your cerebral replies. You add value to OHW! I don't often reply because you've already said it so well, but I always enjoy reading your contributions.