HotWives - Don't leave your husband for your lover

[Truckstar]

Or if you are going to split up - Make sure it is for the right reasons.

Points to note; you are married and your husband knows you are having sex with another man and generally enjoying it (a lot). Your lover knows you are married and having great sex with a beautiful woman.

Considerations are required - Ladies don't leave your husband for your lover
1. Do you really know your lover?
2. How real is this relationship?
3. Are you being objective about your marriage?
4. Are you being honest about your contributions to your marriage?
5. Is your happiness more important than your current family group?
6. Are you aware of the dismal success statistics a new relationship faces for an Ex Hotwife?
7. When people ask 'How did you meet, will you be honest - Are you prepared for the reaction of your friends and family, when you are?
8. Will the new man, allow you to Hot Wife? Because you wil miss that freedom.
9. You have the best of both worlds are you ready to put all your eggs in one basket?
10. What is the advantage to you really?

More to follow. Chew this shit over before you ditch the guy who has put upo with all your little nuances and your liberated sex life.. Marriage is a partnership and when one partner ends it there must be a few plus reasons to do so.

[Zona]

Glad to see you back here, Truckstar. You've been missed.

[Samanthasman]

Or if you are going to split up - Make sure it is for the right reasons.

Points to note; you are married and your husband knows you are having sex with another man and generally enjoying it (a lot). Your lover knows you are married and having great sex with a beautiful woman.

Considerations are required - Ladies don't leave your husband for your lover
1. Do you really know your lover?
2. How real is this relationship?
3. Are you being objective about your marriage?
4. Are you being honest about your contributions to your marriage?
5. Is your happiness more important than your current family group?
6. Are you aware of the dismal success statistics a new relationship faces for an Ex Hotwife?
7. When people ask 'How did you meet, will you be honest - Are you prepared for the reaction of your friends and family, when you are?
8. Will the new man, allow you to Hot Wife? Because you wil miss that freedom.
9. You have the best of both worlds are you ready to put all your eggs in one basket?
10. What is the advantage to you really?

More to follow. Chew this shit over before you ditch the guy who has put upo with all your little nuances and your liberated sex life.. Marriage is a partnership and when one partner ends it there must be a few plus reasons to do so.

My biggest fear from day one of HWing is that it would destroy the marriage. Several years in, we are still going, but the fear does not dissapear. When I look at your list, I try to answer these questions as I might guess my wife would...

I think this is a great set of questions, and in my answers lies perhaps some additional value...

1. Do you really know your lover?
- my wife tells me no she does not, but I suspects she pretty much does.
2. How real is this relationship?
- I'd say very real.
3. Are you being objective about your marriage?
- she would say yes, and I would say probably not completely
4. Are you being honest about your contributions to your marriage?
- not sure I understand this question
5. Is your happiness more important than your current family group?
- this is a big one for her. No, I doubt she would break up the family no matter how much she wanted a BF...
6. Are you aware of the dismal success statistics a new relationship faces for an Ex Hotwife?
- I don't know that this is a factor. Marriages fail. Are there real statistics here?
7. When people ask 'How did you meet, will you be honest - Are you prepared for the reaction of your friends and family, when you are?
- I don't know that this is a factor. Lots of people have a "cover" story for how they met.
8. Will the new man, allow you to Hot Wife? Because you wil miss that freedom.
- I'd say this matters for some and not others. Any woman that leaves her hubby for a BF is probably not thinking she wants to be a HW for the BF, but I could be wrong.
9. You have the best of both worlds are you ready to put all your eggs in one basket?
- my wife definately appreciates this. This also plays on the fact that some/most women seek both the safe/secure/reliable/provider/father in their life as well as the bad boy/hot/sexy/dangerous/adventurous guy in their life and often these are two different people. For us, I was her bull until we got married and then became the husband. I actually think if my own wife left me for her BF, then he would become the husband and no longer the bull and the wild carefree sport fucking they enjoy so much would grind slowly to a halt. She's has told me this as well, and I believe she does beleive this to be true about herself.
10. What is the advantage to you really?
- yes, good point. However, I believe that women probably leave because the lover ultimately gives them an ultimatum. Of course if everyone is getting everything they need, why upset the applecart, but I think people do get to the point where they want more. They want it all, and that's when pressure mounts to make decisions. Then the wife has to choose between the exciting new shiny penny, and the comfortable old shoe.

[bubbajack]

Once again the Truckstars have sent important messages from that portion of the Hotwifing Marriage frontier where, like the rest of us at our own outposts, they are facing an unknown marital future. (I sincerely hope they are still facing it together, although I understand the going has been rough and steep for a while ...)

I have had the experience of "that wife leaving that marriage for that lover" - and have struggled to generalize from that awful, shocking set of events, which have continued to echo in the lives of all who were involved - me, her, our children, the lover, her next and following and current husband, my next and current beloved wife ... the ripples have spread indefinitely.

The many subsequent fortunate years of happy and valued experience for all these folks - many more good years than it took for the wave to gather, break and recede - have softened the emotional trauma, but never erased the facts as partly constituting our individual lives today. For that reason, Truckstar's set of questions resonates with me pretty deeply.

I recognize those questions as raising considerations that are relevant to the decision to stay or leave. This is especially because they emphasize the history of high value-experiences which in most marriages will have built up as a robust and flexible base for going forward together to greater life-satisfactions in the face of inevitable forthcoming change, including, notably, personal decline.

The questions are an implied appeal to what the couple have accumulated together as a treasury of built-up value, to be drawn on for mutual and individual comfort and joy in whatever fate for them lies ahead - "Grow old along with me - The best is yet to be ... "

One trouble with that kind of appeal is that NRE banishes from the enraptured mind any thoughts of personal vulnerability. Worse, reminding the NRE-ized person of anything along those lines associates those thoughts with the buzz-killing old fogey who brings them up: "Can't you see? Big Dick (or Pussy Galore) and I are beyond all that ordinariness at last! THIS - and not that awful bleakness that living with YOU amounted to - is what REAL life should - and actually does, you fuckwit loser - feel like!"

When Truckstar cites "dismal statistics" concerning success of ongoing relationships between ex-spouses and the persons they left the marriage for, he may or may not be referring to longitundinal studies performed at prestigious universities. He is absolutely 100% correct, however, about the high rate of recurrence in formerly married persons of all the personal quirks of his or her individual character that made the former married life challenging - now sprung back to life, the reports of their deaths, an effect of what turns out to be transitory NRE, having been exaggerated.

Bummer!

I don't know how effective any set of interrogatories will be on a spouse who is inclined to leave when under the spell of NRE. For one thing, many lied-about facts will have accumulated which would be inconvenient to have to admit to the spouse as a condition of once again enjoying the benefits to which Truckstar's questions aptly point.

In other words, Mr. T, you are spot on and the summary of relevant issues is brilliant and wise - not that it will always matter when and where it should, alas!

[Paul_Pines]

Truckstar, thank you. Good food for thought for anyone considering it.

Also, your concern for other people is fully evident here. Thank you for caring, too!

Nice community we got here...

Sincerely,

Cuckold Paul

[Truckstar]

My wife and I are (in my opinion at least) the strongest we have ever been. I love her, her nuances, her idiosyncrasies and her HWing by nature. We are together now approaching the autumnal years of our lives and lots of the things that made us; "stop, wait a minute, think grass could be greener" are indeed myths dispersed. We have travelled a long and bumpy road in our adventurous marriage but now the temptations either side of it are being seen for the second and third time and instead of tempting us off the path of sexual, emotion and spiritual togetherness, they just make us shine up our armour anothe lux or two.

In the early days - well that wasn't always the case.

[Truckstar]

Ladies - HW ladies that is.

1. Do you really know your lover?

No one is perfect, I know that when you decided to get into HWing, you may have been given lots of pros and cons by the man of your dreams and you took these messages to mean all sorts of things, from boredom and rejection to fun an celebratory, however you interpreted them, you though about them and chewed them over for what for some of you would have been years. For some a great deal less.

What I am not going to discuss is if you are having an affair, that is a totally different race track to oblivion than a HW relationship that has got to the point of moving from a hobby to reason to end your marriage.

When you're in the throes of infatuation, I don't like the term NRE but that, you will have a difficult time seeing any flaws in your beau, he will be doing things better, longer and more passionately than your husband. Everything he does just seems so wonderful, the relationship is perfect and nothing will ever change that. although this relationship accounts for just a few hours a week.

You convince yourself that no person has ever made you feel this way before. If you're still in this infatuation stage, you're not seeing the relationship realistically. Everything changes over time, and routine will settle in quickly. Don't forget that your lover knows you're married and is complicit in the everything that having a HW affair requires. how will he feel when there is no husband and he is the primary? Will he trust you when you are away on business? Will he snoop through your contacts on your phone/PC?

However you met your lover, you have smoked the HW crack pipe that is illicit no strings sex. It is addictive and about 85% of women that HW once, I mean fuck somebody with their husband/primary partner's will do it again. They will crave it again. Is it better to have that craving whilst in the marriage where it was first formed or to start all over again.

Secondary relationships where you do not have to wash his underwear, visit his kids, cook and clean for him and be part of his extended family and friends are fun. Dropping your current circle for his can be a big deal. They work sometimes of course but lesson one is. Do not leave your husband for what you are already getting from a guy who is trying hard to please you - just to become his housekeeper. Bare in mind he may be cheating on somebody in order to be fucking you. He may not leave her, he may also be a serial cheater.

Girls, If I were you, I would hate to have to choose. Please keep looking beautiful and please be good to your man/men.

[Truckstar]

2. How real is this relationship?
Most affairs are conducted in secret, yours is in full sight;mostly. There will be things that you share with your beau that you don't tell your husband, heck that is human nature. In secret or when you and your beau are behind closed doors it's easy for both of you to be wrapped up in the whirlwind of intimate dinners, dancing and great sex; oh and of course on your best behavior for the fantastic prearranged and looked forward to all week limited time you get to spend together.

Nothing from the outside world has really touched your relationship, for most of you your best friends don't know, there is no circle of friends to get in the way. it is just you and your lover in a little bubble. Others of you will choose a guy from work, so there will be some friends/colleagues that socialise with you and suspect but don't 'really' know. Just your husband knows what you do when you have your rendezvous, it's like being on a perpetual sexy holiday (in American - sey vacation). Once your HW relationship sees the light of day and you are forced or decide to leave, the fantasy of relationship will become a cold hard fact of the real world — with all its boring and repetitive aspects.

Explanations, finding a place to live and all that blah. But if you stayed with No 1. You could continue the bounce and remain on holiday. Reality really does bite. It bites hard and leaves some very big scars. I think, so long as all is well at home, stick with what you know and get the lover to adapt his life to fit yours. Stay in control of what you know.

[MrsTruckstar]

You've been busy again fella. Interesting stuff you have written.