Cuckold Angst

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nnjcpl2002
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Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:20 am

These are some observations that I shared with Jediengineer and I thought that sharing our experience in this subject area might be appropriate in the Library as reference material for those husbands who feel cuckold angst.
Perhaps like golf, cuckolding is a game which we love to hate!


Jedi, I well understand your need for Mrs. to be sharing and open with you about her extra-curricular love making. As my wife evolved into a nice H/W role, it was great to observe how much more she was enjoying herself.........especially with one friend who clearly became her lover. I, of course, like you expected a sharing arrangement as per our prior experiences with other men. But she progressed with him to a place where she had a real desire to be alone with him. I was supportive, and it turned me on...........although I surely was feeling strong cuckold angst along the way.

It came to a head one nite in this way: We were all three of us sharing a nice hotel room with two double beds. After playing, she opted to stay in his bed and I in the other for sleeping purposes. But I could not sleep at all............because my stupid mind was on fire in that I did not want to miss witnessing a middle of the nite coupling between them (which did, in fact, take place!) I snuck over after he finished to touch, feel and examine her cum filled pussy (couldn't resist.)

So the next nite I explained to my darling that I had gotten no sleep, felt shitty for that reason, and requested that after our play, she remain in bed with me instead of leaving our bed to sleep next to her lover. I thought she assented. So I dozed off with her naked beside me after lights out, but when I awakened an hour or so later she was gone and was sleeping cuddled with him in the other bed. Now I am wide awake again.........with a work day ahead of me.

I wasn't really jealous when I made my request.........just exhausted from no sleep. But now, when she ignored my sincere request, I became far more aware of his importance to her as a full blown lover. And the cuckold angst really took hold. The next morning over breakfast I told her that we needed to talk about this and how difficult it was for me. She was genuinely surprised. My wife loves me and never intends to hurt me, and in truth it was I who had initiated the wife sharing, and it was I who had even introduced her to her lover and encouraged their love making. But now I had a sense of losing her attention as her primary relationship..........yes, I was no longer the focus of her love. I asked her why she left me when she thought I had fallen asleep. Answer: " I wanted to get laid." In fact, that didn't happen with him that nite, but she lay next to him hoping he would cum to her. She told me that she did not want to make me unhappy and that she was amazed that I had those feelings of insecurity, since I had never felt that way before. We had a real heart to heart, and it was clear that our marriage was in no way threatened...............but, despite her loyalty to me and our marriage, things did develop further for her with him. Such as..................her flying to spend weekends alone with him. Yes, I delivered her to the airport wearing a cute and revealing sundress, knowing that underneath was nothing but stocking and garter belt............OMG what a hard-on that left me with! This happened on three occasions. At my request the first time, they called me and left the cell phone on so that I could hear their very hot love making on the first nite. The angst was big, but I supported her wishes. It seemed like the right thing to do. He is also a real friend, and worthy of her love and my trust.

The last time she flew away to be with him alone was interesting. He was having some serious personal problems and my wife felt that he really needed some loving support. She well understood how difficult it was for me when she would leave me for him and she had told me that she was not going to do it anymore. But this was different........he genuinely needed her. I told her that it was totally her decision.....( In part, I wanted to see what she would do......a little test, perhaps?) Next thing I knew, in about 5 minutes she had bought a plane ticket to go to him the next weekend. Now she takes one look at my face and sees that I am crushed. She says something like "OMG, you look like a little, sad puppy dog who has just lost his best friend." She went anyway. they made love, he survived, I survived through my angst, and we fucked like bunnies when she returned to me. I told her truthfully that my heart was on fire for her as a result of the feelings she caused by leaving me for him again, even though she know how painful is was for me.

The jealousy that I now really feel at times as the cuckold hubby is not so much for my wifes love and loyalty. Rather, it's jealousy that I feel because of my inability to give her the easy and intense orgasms that her lover gives her with no effort at all. It's amazing in a way, because he is no six pack ab stud, and his cock is actually smaller and thinner than mine. He is a fine guy, but sometimes he cant even get it up! Nevertheless, he can get her off big time with just his hands and his mouth if need be. This is something that has never worked for her before with me or anyone else. So sexual chemistry is truly a mystery of nature and sometimes great matches can seem unlikely.

We remain happily married. We still fool around with other guys. Geography and logistics have greatly reduced her opportunities with her lover, but they talk almost daily...........not sexually, but just to share what is going on in their lives. On balance, its all a definite plus and helps me to remain excited about my bride of many, many wonderful years.

nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Sun May 04, 2014 12:32 am

Good question,Sam. The answer is, "no way!" We moved from swinging to cuckolding precisely because my wife could never handle the idea or the sight of me enjoying another woman.

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by ChasteHusband62 » Sun Jul 27, 2014 4:08 am

For me, it was angst that motivated me to encourage my wife to sleep around. The angst I felt was for two basic reasons--1.) I had never felt I was a very good lover for my wife (I tended to come way fast, as well as I'd always known I didn't have the Big Dick I knew a lot of women prefer); and 2.) I was (am) bisexual, and she found out about this, and that began a train of events that culminated in our on-going Cuckoldry.

Ironically, the angst faded rather quickly once my wife started "dating" another guy (and then another, and another, and another)! I had always been a voyeur, and porn had been that outlet, but watching my own wife fuck another guy---well, that was way the hell better than ANY porn I'd ever watched! The Real thing, instead of the Reel thing.

There is a tension I feel, but I couldn't call it angst. Not any more!

nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Sat Sep 08, 2018 6:13 am

Years have passed a we are no longer young. But my mature bride is still sexually appealing. She is no longer having sex with her lover, although their friendship remains active and strong. I believe the problem is his failing libido, of all things! However, she still sees her younger bull. He tends to be dominant and is very well endowed. Last week I had the pleasure of watching her enjoy big multiple orgasms while riding his thick cock in our marital king sized bed. She is now 69 years of age! They excluded me at the outset of their love making, but he called me in when they were fully engaged and she was starting to cum on top of him. I think he likes me to see how he can please her. And I like it too!

So you mature folks may be pleased to know that sexual play can continue as we grow older.

nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Wed May 08, 2019 1:37 am

My wife is still active as a much older woman. We still get it on and she continues to enjoy visits by her long time bull. I would say that we are both pleasantly surprised by how good our sharing remains. Good memories also help, and the occasional half of a Viagra does the trick for me. Just a little update.

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by dickhurtz472 » Mon May 13, 2019 11:36 am

nnjcpl2002 ;
how old is her bull? how long did it take to meet & progress to the bedroom? please keep posting. if you prefer, you can message me.

pete
disclaimer; The "Wife", to whom i refer is my x-wife. we reconnected a year after hubby 2 died in '16. We rekindled & view ourselves as still married. she passed on 2/1/21
Questions or comments;
dickhurtz472@proton.com

nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Tue May 28, 2019 12:45 pm

Her bull is around 60 yes of age. It did not take long to progress to the bedroom since that was the premise of our meeting. What took so long was identifying the right guy for her. Of course this happened a long time ago.

Rastafoo69
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by Rastafoo69 » Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:08 am

That jealousy you talk about, is one of the best parts of the cuckolding experience!

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Luv It
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by Luv It » Sun Jun 16, 2019 4:33 pm

Like I posted in the cuckold form in a thread titled "jealousy"......

"Unfortunately, jealousy is often associated with anger which it is not always the case
There are many different recognized forms of jealousy and many of them do no include anger

When the woman you love, are even marred to, is dated by, fucked etc by another man, it is only natural to feel a form of romantic jealousy ,
We have learned to eroticsize this jealousy to to the point the it really turns us on.

Ever wonder why it on turns us on with a women we love but, not with a woman we do not love?
We feel no jealousy with a woman we do not love .

So.... IMO a husband can feel a form of jealousy, eroticsize it, without even realizing that jealousy is what turns him on.
We may even call it something else or , it may even be be accompanied by something else but it has eroticsized jealousy in the mix".


So, when you eventually eroticsize the jealousy completely. you will still feel some angst as there are no guarantees in life .
Yes, she always comes back to you but there is away a chance the the next time she will not .
However this angst , even if is is caused buy the possibility of loosing her (even if remote ) will become pleasurable to the point that it's like a drug.... you can crave more and more of this very erotic angst..... of this pleasurable, addictive mental masochism. :)
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nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Sun Jun 23, 2019 8:07 pm

What you say here is true, LuvIt. I never experienced anger at all, but definitely felt the angst. And you are right, I came to enjoy it! We have continued to play this erotic game and it works for us.

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by Luv It » Mon Jun 24, 2019 12:35 pm

BTW, how can you be angry about something that you a have encouraged and actually turns you on?
it's not like you are not into theses life styles styles and is cheating behind you back and you feel betrayed.
You have after all encouraged your wife to be with other men.

So embrace your eroticsized jealousy because with out it, you would not be turned on as you are . :)
Our beginnings in the HW life style
http://www.ourhotwives.org/forum/viewto ... 1342&hilit

"My wife likes to talk to me when she's having sex. Last night she called me from Chicago."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:33 pm

Exactamundo, Luv It!

nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Wed Dec 25, 2019 2:15 pm

The excellent work by Don Jetman here has motivated me to bump my old Cuckold Angst explanation.

nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Wed Jul 01, 2020 11:16 am

Sadly, I have gotten over the angst a long time ago. But that erotic thrill is something I miss and would welcome again. My wife doesn't really have a lover now ( other than myself), she just has a couple of guys who like to fuck her, which she enjoys but without an emotional attachment. It was better for her with the attachment and love shared.

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sigmax
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by sigmax » Wed Jul 08, 2020 1:14 pm

nnjcpl2002 wrote:
Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:20 am
These are some observations that I shared with Jediengineer and I thought that sharing our experience in this subject area might be appropriate in the Library as reference material for those husbands who feel cuckold angst.
Perhaps like golf, cuckolding is a game which we love to hate!


We remain happily married. We still fool around with other guys.
I found you post very interesting and there are a lot of similarities in our past. Not in details but in general feelings, spending time with bf, ie holidays.
I was rising my concerns, told her that Im not comfortable with such a arrangement. She was deaf to all of this. After 3 years I gave up, she couldnt refrain to meet him, however they never planned to be rogether. We are separated. It was my decision, best in my life. .My new partner is not aware about my past and it will stay this way. Im still here to read and talk to fellow members but I really doubt I could convert my new relationship in to cuckolding.

nnjcpl2002
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by nnjcpl2002 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 5:49 am

Interesting post, sigmax. With your current woman, do you not feel the need for cuckolding any more? I am of the opinion that we rarely grow out of our cuckold desires.

In our case, as a super mature couple, she still sees her bull about once a month, and I am excited to report that she has a new guy who has potential to become her genuine lover. They have had several visits now and they have fucked during his last two. Their last session was real love making with hot making out prior to removing their clothes, she stroking his hard cock thru his trousers while they shared deep tongue kisses! Towards the end of their love making she was enjoying real orgasms while he deep pounded her in missionary position! I lay next to them stroking my hard cock. I love that, but it doesn't give the angst I have discussed here. However, I am certain that if and when she goes off to be alone with him, I will again be feeling that old cuckold angst..... and enjoying it!!

BTW, I asked her new lover whether he would prefer to be alone with my wife. He said no, that he liked having me there to watch and share in the experience.

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by early-kink » Thu Jul 30, 2020 7:45 am

I think Luv It's posted description of angst is accurate. It's a form of mental / emotional masochism, which we eroticize. I've also posted my own thought in another thread on here that I believe for the full effect of angst, you must love - or have strong feelings for - the lady in your life. A woman you just started dating wouldn't create the same effects. No strong feelings - no real angst.

I experienced this angst years ago with a then-girlfriend. So I know how it feels and the agony / torment / hurt / erotic heat & lust associated with our ladies being with other guys. It hurts and torments us ............... but it's ferociously delicious & erotic at the same time!!

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by sigmax » Tue Aug 18, 2020 12:26 pm

nnjcpl2002 wrote:
Sun Jul 26, 2020 5:49 am
Interesting post, sigmax. With your current woman, do you not feel the need for cuckolding any more? I am of the opinion that we rarely grow out of our cuckold desires.
I still do, thats why Im still here. But Im defenitelly much more into Stag/Vixen lifestyle, thats for sure. I don't like angst, humiliation and not being in control. Of course it's a very brief conclusion and to explain all aspect I may have to create my own topic.

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by Sophie » Thu Aug 27, 2020 11:08 pm

My husband suffers or should I say enjoys the feeling of cuckold Angst, the problem is too much and he does go off the rails and loses the plot.

I look out for the signs and when I think enough is enough will sit him down for one of our talks.

It's one of our ways of evolving.

Sophie.
Cherish every day.

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by NSEW1 » Sun Sep 20, 2020 4:57 am

Sophie wrote:
Thu Aug 27, 2020 11:08 pm
My husband suffers or should I say enjoys the feeling of cuckold Angst, the problem is too much and he does go off the rails and loses the plot.

I look out for the signs and when I think enough is enough will sit him down for one of our talks.

It's one of our ways of evolving.

Sophie.
Sophie, may I ask what does one of these “talks” entail? How do you bring your husband back into a happy state?

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Sophie
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by Sophie » Sun Sep 20, 2020 5:46 am

NSEW1 wrote:
Sun Sep 20, 2020 4:57 am
Sophie wrote:
Thu Aug 27, 2020 11:08 pm
My husband suffers or should I say enjoys the feeling of cuckold Angst, the problem is too much and he does go off the rails and loses the plot.

I look out for the signs and when I think enough is enough will sit him down for one of our talks.

It's one of our ways of evolving.

Sophie.
Sophie, may I ask what does one of these “talks” entail? How do you bring your husband back into a happy state?
NSEW1, First we arrange a time when we will not be interrupted and it is time limited 90 minutes max. The only topic we are going to talk about is what caused my husband to over load. Like the time a lover gave me visible love bites on the neck and breasts. We both during our session got carried away, and he left marks visible while dressed in normal çlothes. Hubby sent emails etc and was way ott. So that time we all three sat down and talked it out. Hubby realised these things happen with lovers and he should see that its not a bad thing, but it can happen and we moved on.

Another time was when I had decided to not use condoms with a lover and had not mentioned it to my husband, as he found out via the lover asking did you enjoy the cream pie I left for you. He was again ott with cuckold angst, we talked it out together just him and me and things, were ok again, after he came to terms its my body and I decide if a lover is to use condoms or not, once I know any std risk is very low, as no one can be totally std free in the real world. Just going to the dentist can cause you to catch something. My husband knows using a second hand condom is required if he forgets its my body that has a lovers cum inside me not his body. It's not me being demanding just a simple my body my choice.

Its a talk to air concerns or a specific issue. Sometimes with a lover sometimes without, it depends upon the issue or level of feelings and the amount of angst hubby feels.

Sophie.
Cherish every day.

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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by NSEW1 » Sun Sep 20, 2020 6:06 am

Sophie.
[/quote]

Sophie, may I ask what does one of these “talks” entail? How do you bring your husband back into a happy state?
[/quote]

NSEW1, First we arrange a time when we will not be interrupted and it is time limited 90 minutes max. The only topic we are going to talk about is what caused my husband to over load....
...

Its a talk to air concerns or a specific issue. Sometimes with a lover sometimes without, it depends upon the issue or level of feelings and the amount of angst hubby feels.

Sophie.
[/quote]



Thank you for sharing. That sounds like a very loving and fair way to help him understand. My wife tries to do something similar but in a less structured, casual way. Sometimes when I’m not understanding, she uses her cane to “help me understand!”

early-kink
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by early-kink » Wed Sep 23, 2020 11:28 am

Sophie wrote:
Sun Sep 20, 2020 5:46 am
NSEW1 wrote:
Sun Sep 20, 2020 4:57 am
Sophie wrote:
Thu Aug 27, 2020 11:08 pm
My husband suffers or should I say enjoys the feeling of cuckold Angst, the problem is too much and he does go off the rails and loses the plot.

I look out for the signs and when I think enough is enough will sit him down for one of our talks.

It's one of our ways of evolving.

Sophie.
Sophie, may I ask what does one of these “talks” entail? How do you bring your husband back into a happy state?
NSEW1, First we arrange a time when we will not be interrupted and it is time limited 90 minutes max. The only topic we are going to talk about is what caused my husband to over load. Like the time a lover gave me visible love bites on the neck and breasts. We both during our session got carried away, and he left marks visible while dressed in normal çlothes. Hubby sent emails etc and was way ott. So that time we all three sat down and talked it out. Hubby realised these things happen with lovers and he should see that its not a bad thing, but it can happen and we moved on.

Another time was when I had decided to not use condoms with a lover and had not mentioned it to my husband, as he found out via the lover asking did you enjoy the cream pie I left for you. He was again ott with cuckold angst, we talked it out together just him and me and things, were ok again, after he came to terms its my body and I decide if a lover is to use condoms or not, once I know any std risk is very low, as no one can be totally std free in the real world. Just going to the dentist can cause you to catch something. My husband knows using a second hand condom is required if he forgets its my body that has a lovers cum inside me not his body. It's not me being demanding just a simple my body my choice.

Its a talk to air concerns or a specific issue. Sometimes with a lover sometimes without, it depends upon the issue or level of feelings and the amount of angst hubby feels.

Sophie.
Sophie -
It sounds like you're a lady who's IN CONTROL of your hotwifing and your husband! There should be more ladies like that in the world. Stronger, confident women are much sexier and more FUN than the timid "shy mouse" types. JMO !!

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Sophie
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by Sophie » Wed Sep 23, 2020 12:05 pm

early-kink wrote:
Wed Sep 23, 2020 11:28 am
Sophie wrote:
Sun Sep 20, 2020 5:46 am
NSEW1 wrote:
Sun Sep 20, 2020 4:57 am
Sophie wrote:
Thu Aug 27, 2020 11:08 pm
My husband suffers or should I say enjoys the feeling of cuckold Angst, the problem is too much and he does go off the rails and loses the plot.

I look out for the signs and when I think enough is enough will sit him down for one of our talks.

It's one of our ways of evolving.

Sophie.
Sophie, may I ask what does one of these “talks” entail? How do you bring your husband back into a happy state?
NSEW1, First we arrange a time when we will not be interrupted and it is time limited 90 minutes max. The only topic we are going to talk about is what caused my husband to over load. Like the time a lover gave me visible love bites on the neck and breasts. We both during our session got carried away, and he left marks visible while dressed in normal çlothes. Hubby sent emails etc and was way ott. So that time we all three sat down and talked it out. Hubby realised these things happen with lovers and he should see that its not a bad thing, but it can happen and we moved on.

Another time was when I had decided to not use condoms with a lover and had not mentioned it to my husband, as he found out via the lover asking did you enjoy the cream pie I left for you. He was again ott with cuckold angst, we talked it out together just him and me and things, were ok again, after he came to terms its my body and I decide if a lover is to use condoms or not, once I know any std risk is very low, as no one can be totally std free in the real world. Just going to the dentist can cause you to catch something. My husband knows using a second hand condom is required if he forgets its my body that has a lovers cum inside me not his body. It's not me being demanding just a simple my body my choice.

Its a talk to air concerns or a specific issue. Sometimes with a lover sometimes without, it depends upon the issue or level of feelings and the amount of angst hubby feels.

Sophie.
Sophie -
It sounds like you're a lady who's IN CONTROL of your hotwifing and your husband! There should be more ladies like that in the world. Stronger, confident women are much sexier and more FUN than the timid "shy mouse" types. JMO !!
early-kink, If we were all the same, what a boring world. JMO.

Sophie.
Cherish every day.

early-kink
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Re: Cuckold Angst

Unread post by early-kink » Wed Sep 23, 2020 5:38 pm

Sophie - Not ALL ladies the same - just more that wanted to be hotwives and were sexually confident & adventurous!!!!!!!!!

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