Cuckolding and Penis Size Issues
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2014 9:49 am
Once my wife and I had come to grips with the previously avoided topic of me having a slightly undersized, and less that average (6") sized dick (and her previous unwillingness to admit that she had felt under-whelmed by it), the steps towards cuckolding began; though it did not occur over night.
Now that I have been a conscious cuckold for nearly 4 years, I look back on the way things used to be between my wife and I and I sometimes have a hard time trying to remember what that earlier time was like. It was monogamous in it's entirety. Our marriage is by no means monogamous now, however.
I can say now, that I would have had trouble saying 4 years ago, that my wife having other, "outside" sexual partners, is one of the best things that could have happened to me (as well as to her). Why is that? For me, it has to do with a sense of freedom I have now that I didn't have then, in freely acknowledging (to myself first, and then to my wife as well) that I was never able to give my wife the sort of sexual fulfillment and pleasure she craved deep down inside. What I couldn't admit then, was that my cock was just small enough, and my orgasmic sensitivity was set at such a high level of responsiveness, that my wife was frequently left sexually unfulfilled BY ME. That last sentence took a very long time to be able write.
What made it easier to do? It has had a lot to do with seeing HER sexual pleasure being more openly and freely enjoyed EVEN THOUGH I WAS NOT THE ONE PROVIDING IT.
For me, I still have a lot of sexual, and erotic feelings towards her and with her, but this isn't predicated on sex any longer. We had sex when we were younger, and we enjoyed it, but her sexual needs were simply not being met by ME. Sure, we had a baby together (one the biggest highlights of both our lives together), and sure we love each other (then, and now), but sex isn't playing the role it once did between us. Sex is now like a rail road track. There are two rails, parallel to one another, but that's the point now days; their parallel. But when you take into account a slightly different definition of sexual intimacy (as my wife and I have) the sexual aspects of our marriage are mental, rather than directly physical. Maybe the word "erotic" is a better term for what she and I enjoy together, and leave the word "sex" out?
My wife "has sex" with several different men (of which I am aware of, and even participate with to a certain degree), but there is a subtle, but (I think!) important distinction between "love" and "sex"; though the two do often go hand-in-hand. Our current society's obsession with "traditional marriage" (which is a fairly recent phenomenon) creates problems though with all this. We are all taught to see "love" and "sex" as one and the same thing. They are not. We are also raised to view marriage in only one way, when, in fact, no two marriages are probably alike to begin with.
Our current thinking about marriage is nearly cultic in it's orientation and rigidity. It is no wonder that so many marriages crumble and fall apart. It isn't the idea of marital relationships that's the problem, either. It's the narrow definition that we have sold on seeing it in that's the problem.
I think there's nothing (really) wrong with monogamy, as such, other than it doesn't take into account the fact that humans probably didn't evolve in monogamous hunter-gather groups! Monogamy can certain work. But what monogamy won't do is make sexual attraction to others go away; and sexual attractions, and feelings, and thoughts, ARE NOT WRONG; not in, and of, themselves. But our Judeo-Christian-Islamic "traditions" make war on our evolutionary past unnecessarily. They have set up huge forces of resistance to our true human nature (much, much closer to Chimps than not), and in doing so, so many of our attitudes towards sex, and love, and marriage (monogamy, primarily) sets many of us on the path of neurosis' of all sorts! That's what happens when you go with an ideology, rather than reality.
Within the last 3+ years, my wife and I have been slowly, slowly, slowly(!), moving away from the previous monogamist view of marriage we both once held, and have begun finding a different "way" of being together as a married couple. Neither of reject the idea of marriage, as such. I still think of my wife as "my wife" (though not as property!), and my wife regards me as "her husband," but our sexual connection, as it previously was, had undergone big shifts!
For example, my wife is out of town this weekend, and I have every reason to believe that she will end up having "sex" with another guy. I am not bothered by this. If anything, I know this other guy well enough (and I know my wife well enough as well), to know that she is going to enjoy some very pleasant sex with him! Knowing this creates a curious mix of emotions within me. I do not (any longer) feel "left-out." I know my wife needs these occasional outlets where she can let her hair down (literally, and figuratively) and just be herself with this other guy. She comes home much, much happier. I love seeing this in numerous ways as she walks in through our front door! There is just this look, this sparkle about her after such an event, and I derive a form of pleasure from this, which, ironically enough, is (physically at least) un-sexual; but yet very, very, VERY "erotic!"
So, the fact that my wife will be about 350 miles from me this weekend, and having sex with another guy as part of her going there in the first place, I still feel decidedly(!) "close" to her (erotically). Besides, she will eventually come back home to me. There is a subtle, but significant difference between "sex" and "love."
Once we began violating our socially derived attitudes towards monogamous marriage, we both became much more relaxed, less afraid, and the heavy burden that monogamy places on any partner to be EVERYTHING to that other person, slowly began falling away. I think our marriage now is much better than it was before when we were cramming our sexualities into this ready-made box that's come down to us from the Victorian Age!
My wife is not monogamous. But she's a happier person for it. I am happy for her happiness, and it becomes a mutually reciprocal dynamic! I think of her as my wife still, but she is not MINE. Monogamy is too tied up with property rights. Men should not "own" women, nor vice versa. I give my wife a lot of personal sexual freedom, and for that, I am in love with her in a new, and exciting way. She's mine, but she isn't. My wife is more "on loan" to me than anything else. But, I value her more highly now, than at any other time in my life!
Now that I have been a conscious cuckold for nearly 4 years, I look back on the way things used to be between my wife and I and I sometimes have a hard time trying to remember what that earlier time was like. It was monogamous in it's entirety. Our marriage is by no means monogamous now, however.
I can say now, that I would have had trouble saying 4 years ago, that my wife having other, "outside" sexual partners, is one of the best things that could have happened to me (as well as to her). Why is that? For me, it has to do with a sense of freedom I have now that I didn't have then, in freely acknowledging (to myself first, and then to my wife as well) that I was never able to give my wife the sort of sexual fulfillment and pleasure she craved deep down inside. What I couldn't admit then, was that my cock was just small enough, and my orgasmic sensitivity was set at such a high level of responsiveness, that my wife was frequently left sexually unfulfilled BY ME. That last sentence took a very long time to be able write.
What made it easier to do? It has had a lot to do with seeing HER sexual pleasure being more openly and freely enjoyed EVEN THOUGH I WAS NOT THE ONE PROVIDING IT.
For me, I still have a lot of sexual, and erotic feelings towards her and with her, but this isn't predicated on sex any longer. We had sex when we were younger, and we enjoyed it, but her sexual needs were simply not being met by ME. Sure, we had a baby together (one the biggest highlights of both our lives together), and sure we love each other (then, and now), but sex isn't playing the role it once did between us. Sex is now like a rail road track. There are two rails, parallel to one another, but that's the point now days; their parallel. But when you take into account a slightly different definition of sexual intimacy (as my wife and I have) the sexual aspects of our marriage are mental, rather than directly physical. Maybe the word "erotic" is a better term for what she and I enjoy together, and leave the word "sex" out?
My wife "has sex" with several different men (of which I am aware of, and even participate with to a certain degree), but there is a subtle, but (I think!) important distinction between "love" and "sex"; though the two do often go hand-in-hand. Our current society's obsession with "traditional marriage" (which is a fairly recent phenomenon) creates problems though with all this. We are all taught to see "love" and "sex" as one and the same thing. They are not. We are also raised to view marriage in only one way, when, in fact, no two marriages are probably alike to begin with.
Our current thinking about marriage is nearly cultic in it's orientation and rigidity. It is no wonder that so many marriages crumble and fall apart. It isn't the idea of marital relationships that's the problem, either. It's the narrow definition that we have sold on seeing it in that's the problem.
I think there's nothing (really) wrong with monogamy, as such, other than it doesn't take into account the fact that humans probably didn't evolve in monogamous hunter-gather groups! Monogamy can certain work. But what monogamy won't do is make sexual attraction to others go away; and sexual attractions, and feelings, and thoughts, ARE NOT WRONG; not in, and of, themselves. But our Judeo-Christian-Islamic "traditions" make war on our evolutionary past unnecessarily. They have set up huge forces of resistance to our true human nature (much, much closer to Chimps than not), and in doing so, so many of our attitudes towards sex, and love, and marriage (monogamy, primarily) sets many of us on the path of neurosis' of all sorts! That's what happens when you go with an ideology, rather than reality.
Within the last 3+ years, my wife and I have been slowly, slowly, slowly(!), moving away from the previous monogamist view of marriage we both once held, and have begun finding a different "way" of being together as a married couple. Neither of reject the idea of marriage, as such. I still think of my wife as "my wife" (though not as property!), and my wife regards me as "her husband," but our sexual connection, as it previously was, had undergone big shifts!
For example, my wife is out of town this weekend, and I have every reason to believe that she will end up having "sex" with another guy. I am not bothered by this. If anything, I know this other guy well enough (and I know my wife well enough as well), to know that she is going to enjoy some very pleasant sex with him! Knowing this creates a curious mix of emotions within me. I do not (any longer) feel "left-out." I know my wife needs these occasional outlets where she can let her hair down (literally, and figuratively) and just be herself with this other guy. She comes home much, much happier. I love seeing this in numerous ways as she walks in through our front door! There is just this look, this sparkle about her after such an event, and I derive a form of pleasure from this, which, ironically enough, is (physically at least) un-sexual; but yet very, very, VERY "erotic!"
So, the fact that my wife will be about 350 miles from me this weekend, and having sex with another guy as part of her going there in the first place, I still feel decidedly(!) "close" to her (erotically). Besides, she will eventually come back home to me. There is a subtle, but significant difference between "sex" and "love."
Once we began violating our socially derived attitudes towards monogamous marriage, we both became much more relaxed, less afraid, and the heavy burden that monogamy places on any partner to be EVERYTHING to that other person, slowly began falling away. I think our marriage now is much better than it was before when we were cramming our sexualities into this ready-made box that's come down to us from the Victorian Age!
My wife is not monogamous. But she's a happier person for it. I am happy for her happiness, and it becomes a mutually reciprocal dynamic! I think of her as my wife still, but she is not MINE. Monogamy is too tied up with property rights. Men should not "own" women, nor vice versa. I give my wife a lot of personal sexual freedom, and for that, I am in love with her in a new, and exciting way. She's mine, but she isn't. My wife is more "on loan" to me than anything else. But, I value her more highly now, than at any other time in my life!