Safety First
This could be new to some of you; or you might be seasoned. I have been asked to point out safety and security for women that are HWifing in this lifestyle.
PART ONE
Ladies HW dating alone – Remember if you advertise on line you will likely be hit with over 400 emails a day, so be prepared to do a lot of reading. When you place your ad explain exactly what you are looking for, as a woman offering sex you can absolutely be choosey, you must believe that you are a wonderful prize to be won so you can dictate everything and the more choosy you are the less chance of too much chaff. You can ask for things as direct as you like even eye/hair colour, some of the guys do actually read the ads before responding, but many just send a standard response to every girl who advertises in the hope that someone somewhere will want them. If you are happy to respond to all the emails say so in the ad, if you will not be responding to some people - those with no photo, those who have brown eyes when you asked for blue etc. - say so in the ad. Example – ‘Only emails with a clear recent photo of your face will be answered.’
Be honest, and keep to your word. Describe yourself accurately. If you are a good size say so, don't pretend that you are a runway model if you are not. Guys are not quite so stupid that on meeting you they will not realize. You will also find that there is a big demand for normal sized girls. If you are honest then you can expect honesty from those reading your add.
If you say in your ad that all emails will be answered, answer them, even if just a "no thanks, not this time".
Once you find someone you want to meet make sure you do so in a safe environment, never at that persons house. I always say that the first meet in a pub or hotel lounge. These have CCTV and if you get there before him, you can buy yourself a drink with your credit card, therefore putting you there at a set time and you can get him to top it up when he arrives. Therefore putting him on CCTV and his details.
It is important that you make sure you are happy with them in a social setting before making arrangements to meet them in private or move it on to a sexual level.
If they say they are a couple talk to both people on their telephone, make a note of their number - you must make sure that you talk to both of them, do not accept excuses that the partner is late home from work, putting the kids to bed, nursing a dying mother or shagging the England football team, if you cannot talk to them, they probably do not exist, or are not aware of the situation. When you talk on the phone you do not have to be super explicit but do make sexual references, so you know that he hasn’t got his sister to wing man for him.
VITAL When you leave home make sure someone knows where you are going, you can leave a sealed envelope to be opened if you do not ring in by a certain time, in it put the email addresses, telephone number and location of the meeting, its better to be safe and embarrassed than dead. With modern technology, you can set up a delay email to a girlfriend that will send at a certain time. If you are married and HWifing. Hubby must have all the details. If you move then tell him. My wife sometimes takes a picture of the guy in the hotel and sends it to me. Not pink and wet ones BTW.
Whoever you are going to meet remember that although its scary, the other people will be as nervous as you. Don't get drunk or drugged up. No once fancies people who are not in control of their faculties. A drink to steady the nerves is OK, bouncing off the walls and throwing up is not going to impress anyone.
My wife and I have been doing this for a long time and have a no drink rule on first meets. If this is new to you, you will want his cock inside you but tell him in your planning that you expect him to turn up sober. If he is truly interested he will.
Next Tip – Security Do's and Don’ts
Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
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Chrome-chains
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Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Bravo! Iwill now rewrite a bit. I like the confidence to write specifics.
I wonder how many meet the guy first and set up a second "date" for other things.
I wonder how many meet the guy first and set up a second "date" for other things.
Tall leggy slutwife looking for Dominant, imaginative, professional men. Please be well groomed and at least 6 inches in length.
You can't turn a bad girl good...but when a good girl goes bad...she's gone forever (Jay Z)
You can't turn a bad girl good...but when a good girl goes bad...she's gone forever (Jay Z)
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Thank You Chrome-c, I'll continue -:
Security Dos and Don’ts Before you decide to meet a potential Fuck Buddy
Photos.
Always a tough one in the HW world, particularly if your significant other has pictures of you all over the place in various gynaecological poses.
Do make sure you know what he looks like now, not 10 years ago when he was a Military Phys Training Instructor. You could ask him for a picture sent from his phone ‘with location setting on’ that includes him and at least one of the following -:
the street he lives on
his car
a landmark near where he lives, or
In a shopping mall.
This is great security information because it date, times and positions him exactly and should he be a good guy, he’ll be OK with this. If he is a nut job, he won’t do it.
Do send him a picture of you clothed waist up, once you have had one from him. Include your face once you are happy that he is genuine.
Do not send pictures to strangers that you would not be happy to see on the internet or your family facebook page.
Do not send out pussy pics to potential dates, not straight away. There is a breed of men out there call pic hunters that collect pussy pictures from girls just like you and post them everywhere.
Do not send pictures with critical background information in. Like your place. (Remove GPS data from pictures taken in your home). Remove pictures on walls of your kids etc.
Do not use pictures that you have also used in your PTA profile. Your scouting group etc. Use fresh pictures for every time. You will pee your panties at the amount of info that can be gleaned from a picture in google search.
Personal stuff.
OK - you will need to tell him that you have this kink or that kink. There is no point two dyed in the wool submissives meeting up with the hope that one will turn dom.
However
Do not tell them that you are the Manager at the local supermarket.
Do tell them you are in retail management.
Do not tell them that you live at a certain tower block on sheep street in Kensington.
Do tell them Kensington.
It goes without saying that the more info you give them, then the easier it is for them to find you, if they are that way inclined.
Do Remember it is a Fuck Buddy that you are going to meet, not a life partner, he is there for your SAFE fun and enjoyment and not much else, so Do stay focused on what your ultimate goal is..... That way, you will give and receive the right amount of useful information that will leave your private life uncomplicated and your sex life - well sexier.
Stay safe out there girls.
Next Tip, What to do once you have decided that you want to meet
Security Dos and Don’ts Before you decide to meet a potential Fuck Buddy
Photos.
Always a tough one in the HW world, particularly if your significant other has pictures of you all over the place in various gynaecological poses.
Do make sure you know what he looks like now, not 10 years ago when he was a Military Phys Training Instructor. You could ask him for a picture sent from his phone ‘with location setting on’ that includes him and at least one of the following -:
the street he lives on
his car
a landmark near where he lives, or
In a shopping mall.
This is great security information because it date, times and positions him exactly and should he be a good guy, he’ll be OK with this. If he is a nut job, he won’t do it.
Do send him a picture of you clothed waist up, once you have had one from him. Include your face once you are happy that he is genuine.
Do not send pictures to strangers that you would not be happy to see on the internet or your family facebook page.
Do not send out pussy pics to potential dates, not straight away. There is a breed of men out there call pic hunters that collect pussy pictures from girls just like you and post them everywhere.
Do not send pictures with critical background information in. Like your place. (Remove GPS data from pictures taken in your home). Remove pictures on walls of your kids etc.
Do not use pictures that you have also used in your PTA profile. Your scouting group etc. Use fresh pictures for every time. You will pee your panties at the amount of info that can be gleaned from a picture in google search.
Personal stuff.
OK - you will need to tell him that you have this kink or that kink. There is no point two dyed in the wool submissives meeting up with the hope that one will turn dom.
However
Do not tell them that you are the Manager at the local supermarket.
Do tell them you are in retail management.
Do not tell them that you live at a certain tower block on sheep street in Kensington.
Do tell them Kensington.
It goes without saying that the more info you give them, then the easier it is for them to find you, if they are that way inclined.
Do Remember it is a Fuck Buddy that you are going to meet, not a life partner, he is there for your SAFE fun and enjoyment and not much else, so Do stay focused on what your ultimate goal is..... That way, you will give and receive the right amount of useful information that will leave your private life uncomplicated and your sex life - well sexier.
Stay safe out there girls.
Next Tip, What to do once you have decided that you want to meet
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sexslavehubby
- Prepubescent
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Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Thanks so much for taking the time to write this. Some of it I knew and some of it I didn't. Looking forward to more. It's easy to forget just how easy it can be to give away information with our phones now, but as you pointed out it can work in our favor as well. My wife is all but ready to begin hotwifing except very scared that she may meet a freak.
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
What to do once you have decided that you want to meet a man or a couple to have sex with.
Answering ads on the Internet is hard work for a HW who is going to meet a man or a couple for sex, it is never straight forward but the rewards can be more than you had ever hoped for in your fantasies. It involves the screening process. And, if done wrong, the results can be a disaster.
First and foremost is you and hubby are a couple. Before you ever consider answering a communication to the positive, sit down together and talk in order to define exactly what it is that you jointly are seeking.
Is the ultimate goal to get a stable of regular FBs?
Do you want FBs at all, or do you just want exciting one-night stands?
Do you want to have sex with him in the same bed or bedroom as your hubby, or do you want to have solo meets?
Are you willing to home fuck or do you need FBs who can provide accommodation for you?
Do you object to certain races, ages, smokers or drinkers?
What kind of sexual experiences do you really want?
If you are opposed to bi activity, anal, oral, light bondage or whatever, you had better decide that in advance. And what you do want, decide in advance. Do you want to fuck on the first date if the arrows line up or do you want a purely social meet and greet?
Are you willing to let the FB take the lead, or is that for you?
These answers, and any others that occur to you should all be on your work sheet before you attempt to answer an email contact in the positive.
The final thing you and your husband will want from a potential FB is a photo that is easy to define as recent. It doesn’t have to be a cock picture, however the face must be clear. You and hubby need to agree this process entirely. He will want to have some input, believe me.
If you do not get understandable answers from each other to these questions, ask again in plainer terms, if still unsure then move on, this is not for you.
If you do not know what it is clearly and concisely that you are seeking, you are not going to be able to write a good response or letter to a potential sex partner that will define your space. And that is the place where 90% of the bad experiences start: unclear, imprecise information in your initial response.
Once you have a short list, read and then re-read carefully what their text of their message says. The text speaks louder than any picture at this stage.
Before replying have this set squarely in your mind. How far are you willing to travel to meet FBs with whom you might not have anything in common? LOL Then be strict and only answer messages from people within that limit. If you live 300 miles away from the advertiser, and you make that big trip only to find out it didn’t work out, you are going to turn off to HWing fast. Select people a reasonable distance from your home.
Shorten your list to those who are in a reasonable range, then read what they have to say about themselves. If your list is still too big you might want to shorten it by forgeting the ads that talk about penis size and the verbiage designed to turn you on, but which often turns people off. Forget the ads that ask for a pussy picture up front. Seventy-five percent of those are picture collectors. They have no serious intention of following through with a real encounter.
Tell them exactly what it is you are looking for in swinging, and in them. If you merely write and tell them you read their posting and want to meet them, with a physical description of yourself, you are going to find yourself meeting people who have nothing in common with you, socially or sexually. Do not use a lot of swear words.
After you have sent your e-mail response, it is important to recognize that you are playing a statis game. As a woman expect to receive 3 replies from ten emailed potentials. Some will see your email and realise that they will not get pictures from you and disappear, others are just spammers. Keep the faith.
Next Tip, The First Phone Call prior to meeting up.....
You will never ever get that feeling again girls, the first time you speak to a man that you are planning to fuck and your husband is in the room with you.... A real family moment to remember.
Answering ads on the Internet is hard work for a HW who is going to meet a man or a couple for sex, it is never straight forward but the rewards can be more than you had ever hoped for in your fantasies. It involves the screening process. And, if done wrong, the results can be a disaster.
First and foremost is you and hubby are a couple. Before you ever consider answering a communication to the positive, sit down together and talk in order to define exactly what it is that you jointly are seeking.
Is the ultimate goal to get a stable of regular FBs?
Do you want FBs at all, or do you just want exciting one-night stands?
Do you want to have sex with him in the same bed or bedroom as your hubby, or do you want to have solo meets?
Are you willing to home fuck or do you need FBs who can provide accommodation for you?
Do you object to certain races, ages, smokers or drinkers?
What kind of sexual experiences do you really want?
If you are opposed to bi activity, anal, oral, light bondage or whatever, you had better decide that in advance. And what you do want, decide in advance. Do you want to fuck on the first date if the arrows line up or do you want a purely social meet and greet?
Are you willing to let the FB take the lead, or is that for you?
These answers, and any others that occur to you should all be on your work sheet before you attempt to answer an email contact in the positive.
The final thing you and your husband will want from a potential FB is a photo that is easy to define as recent. It doesn’t have to be a cock picture, however the face must be clear. You and hubby need to agree this process entirely. He will want to have some input, believe me.
If you do not get understandable answers from each other to these questions, ask again in plainer terms, if still unsure then move on, this is not for you.
If you do not know what it is clearly and concisely that you are seeking, you are not going to be able to write a good response or letter to a potential sex partner that will define your space. And that is the place where 90% of the bad experiences start: unclear, imprecise information in your initial response.
Once you have a short list, read and then re-read carefully what their text of their message says. The text speaks louder than any picture at this stage.
Before replying have this set squarely in your mind. How far are you willing to travel to meet FBs with whom you might not have anything in common? LOL Then be strict and only answer messages from people within that limit. If you live 300 miles away from the advertiser, and you make that big trip only to find out it didn’t work out, you are going to turn off to HWing fast. Select people a reasonable distance from your home.
Shorten your list to those who are in a reasonable range, then read what they have to say about themselves. If your list is still too big you might want to shorten it by forgeting the ads that talk about penis size and the verbiage designed to turn you on, but which often turns people off. Forget the ads that ask for a pussy picture up front. Seventy-five percent of those are picture collectors. They have no serious intention of following through with a real encounter.
Tell them exactly what it is you are looking for in swinging, and in them. If you merely write and tell them you read their posting and want to meet them, with a physical description of yourself, you are going to find yourself meeting people who have nothing in common with you, socially or sexually. Do not use a lot of swear words.
After you have sent your e-mail response, it is important to recognize that you are playing a statis game. As a woman expect to receive 3 replies from ten emailed potentials. Some will see your email and realise that they will not get pictures from you and disappear, others are just spammers. Keep the faith.
Next Tip, The First Phone Call prior to meeting up.....
You will never ever get that feeling again girls, the first time you speak to a man that you are planning to fuck and your husband is in the room with you.... A real family moment to remember.
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SmilingHusband
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Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
this is excellent. should be required reading......
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Thank You, to all of you that have given me positive feedback, if any of this is useful to just one person, then it is worth writing...
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Let’s say you have now responded to fifteen people and received four responses in return. You next want to talk to the people by phone. Most important, you need to know before the call, if it will just be HW taking or if you both as a couple want to talk to them. This is critical, there is nothing worse than a hubby butting in or interrupting, if he is not supposed to be there.
If it is a couple and the wife is not available to come to the phone, ask the man to call you back when his wife is home and you will continue then.
I can’t stress it too many times: before you set up a real live date with a man or a couple, talk to him or both of them to make sure that you all know what the exact deal is, and that you all understand what you are going to do together, there is no need to be vulgar or over graphic. You want to confirm that all your attitudes and approach to this kind of sexual event is understood. You can say at this stage that you expect a neutral meet venue, you don’t do or that you do, do sex on a first date. Explain if hubby will be with you, for some, all or none of the talk time on the phone and what he will be doing, speaking listening or whatever.
By the time you get to this stage you will then find you are probably down to two viable contacts out of the ten to fifteen contacts you selected. Set up a date at a bar, restaurant, coffee shop, hotel lobby or at a convenient public halfway point for both of you. It is easier to leave a neutral venue if you find you really don't get on with them, than if you are already in a home or hotel bedroom.
Remember the Potential FB will likely be nervous on the phone. We always send a follow up email to confirm what was decided.
At this stage you have just about committed yourself to HWing once you get off of neutral ground. You have done a good job of screening, and can feel safe in setting up this date. It still might not be perfect, but you have certainly moved the odds in your favour. The main point is that, by telling the man or couple exactly what you want in your communication, and again by phone talking with him/them, and you'll do it again at your meet and greet, you have established control. There is little likelihood of unpleasant surprises.
If one of those fifteen original potential FBs you contacted does meet your criteria, it will have been worth all of the time and effort. You will have begun a wonderful new facet in your life with a person whom you are totally compatible with.
As an aside - My wife used to have a script in the beginning, well more of a list of things she would like to discuss and just tick them off when covered.
Part Two
Next Tip Setting off and Meeting for the first time.
If it is a couple and the wife is not available to come to the phone, ask the man to call you back when his wife is home and you will continue then.
I can’t stress it too many times: before you set up a real live date with a man or a couple, talk to him or both of them to make sure that you all know what the exact deal is, and that you all understand what you are going to do together, there is no need to be vulgar or over graphic. You want to confirm that all your attitudes and approach to this kind of sexual event is understood. You can say at this stage that you expect a neutral meet venue, you don’t do or that you do, do sex on a first date. Explain if hubby will be with you, for some, all or none of the talk time on the phone and what he will be doing, speaking listening or whatever.
By the time you get to this stage you will then find you are probably down to two viable contacts out of the ten to fifteen contacts you selected. Set up a date at a bar, restaurant, coffee shop, hotel lobby or at a convenient public halfway point for both of you. It is easier to leave a neutral venue if you find you really don't get on with them, than if you are already in a home or hotel bedroom.
Remember the Potential FB will likely be nervous on the phone. We always send a follow up email to confirm what was decided.
At this stage you have just about committed yourself to HWing once you get off of neutral ground. You have done a good job of screening, and can feel safe in setting up this date. It still might not be perfect, but you have certainly moved the odds in your favour. The main point is that, by telling the man or couple exactly what you want in your communication, and again by phone talking with him/them, and you'll do it again at your meet and greet, you have established control. There is little likelihood of unpleasant surprises.
If one of those fifteen original potential FBs you contacted does meet your criteria, it will have been worth all of the time and effort. You will have begun a wonderful new facet in your life with a person whom you are totally compatible with.
As an aside - My wife used to have a script in the beginning, well more of a list of things she would like to discuss and just tick them off when covered.
Part Two
Next Tip Setting off and Meeting for the first time.
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Part Two
Setting off and Meeting for the first time.
Unless it is your kink or style, do not dress like a slut. Dress smart and do your hair and make up. Make sure your phone is fully charged. (Point of note) There are places in the UK, where you get no phone signal – Can’t speak for other countries.) You will have chosen the venue, it is one that you know Do Not choose somewhere with no phone signal. Never meet at his home, or yours.
Make sure your phone is fully charged
Some people prefer to keep first meetings short, such as for drinks, I personally see nothing wrong with meeting for dinner if that's what you like to do. The main thing is to make sure there are other people around. As much as a walk in a park or along a river is romantic, we don’t need romance here and bear in mind, missing girls do not turn up three days later dead in the front booth at Marco’s restaurant, they are found in the park or the river. Jus saying. Also if you do bring a chaperone along, it is so much easier for ‘hubby’ or whoever to be a discrete distance in a public place.
Do not let him change the venue or say on arrival, “I know a place just around the corner.....” Stick with your plan.
Make sure your hubby or ‘confidante’ and ladies it is written in blood and stone and is just about the only set in concrete law of HWing. Tell them at least the following
1. Who you are meeting – You do not have to say why you are meeting, but if it is your husband or a lifestyle person that is better all round.
2. What you are wearing – take a picture and send it before you leave.
3. When you are meeting them and that you will text them when you arrive there and when he does (Don’t forget that, even if he is drop down gorgeous). Men reading this, say to her if she hasn’t obviously done so “Is there anybody you need to text or call to let them know I am here.”
4. Where you are meeting them Full address and contact number and for how long. Crucial do not overstay without notifying your wing person, they will worry.
5. The number of his phone.
Your Potential FB shouldn't or needn’t know your last name (yet),
It's not enough to be "smart" about HWing. You do need remind yourself that you know absolutely nothing about the people you're meeting and they might have in their head that you are a wanton cock crazy bitch. They don’t know that he is your first and he could be lying about everything he said to you. That is why we have a meet and greet. I met an American VHW at Hilton T4 in London a while back, we knew lots about each other, you could cut the sexual tension in the air, but even both of us as seasoned HWers, went through these stages before the fireworks.........
We’re not concerned here with showing up for a date and meeting someone ugly or incompatible. We’re concerned with you showing up for n M&G, not seeing the guy you think you’re meeting, because he looks nothing like his images and is instead watching you from across the bar totally anonymously or not being there at all when you think you've been stood up, he is filtering.
These are a lot of what-ifs, but they're what-ifs we think we all need to be aware of if you're going to meet people in person to have sex with who previously existed to us only behind a computer screen.
Leave in plenty of time, if you get delayed call him, this shit happens but if you give yourself time it lessens the chance.
If you have arrived early and he is there, then why not start early, but still go through arrival procedure.
Always have at least an hour between your M&Gs nothing worse for the guy to turn up a little early to reconnoitre the place to see you getting on famously with his competition.
Next Tip
At the M&G that is not planned to go sexual.
Setting off and Meeting for the first time.
Unless it is your kink or style, do not dress like a slut. Dress smart and do your hair and make up. Make sure your phone is fully charged. (Point of note) There are places in the UK, where you get no phone signal – Can’t speak for other countries.) You will have chosen the venue, it is one that you know Do Not choose somewhere with no phone signal. Never meet at his home, or yours.
Make sure your phone is fully charged
Some people prefer to keep first meetings short, such as for drinks, I personally see nothing wrong with meeting for dinner if that's what you like to do. The main thing is to make sure there are other people around. As much as a walk in a park or along a river is romantic, we don’t need romance here and bear in mind, missing girls do not turn up three days later dead in the front booth at Marco’s restaurant, they are found in the park or the river. Jus saying. Also if you do bring a chaperone along, it is so much easier for ‘hubby’ or whoever to be a discrete distance in a public place.
Do not let him change the venue or say on arrival, “I know a place just around the corner.....” Stick with your plan.
Make sure your hubby or ‘confidante’ and ladies it is written in blood and stone and is just about the only set in concrete law of HWing. Tell them at least the following
1. Who you are meeting – You do not have to say why you are meeting, but if it is your husband or a lifestyle person that is better all round.
2. What you are wearing – take a picture and send it before you leave.
3. When you are meeting them and that you will text them when you arrive there and when he does (Don’t forget that, even if he is drop down gorgeous). Men reading this, say to her if she hasn’t obviously done so “Is there anybody you need to text or call to let them know I am here.”
4. Where you are meeting them Full address and contact number and for how long. Crucial do not overstay without notifying your wing person, they will worry.
5. The number of his phone.
Your Potential FB shouldn't or needn’t know your last name (yet),
It's not enough to be "smart" about HWing. You do need remind yourself that you know absolutely nothing about the people you're meeting and they might have in their head that you are a wanton cock crazy bitch. They don’t know that he is your first and he could be lying about everything he said to you. That is why we have a meet and greet. I met an American VHW at Hilton T4 in London a while back, we knew lots about each other, you could cut the sexual tension in the air, but even both of us as seasoned HWers, went through these stages before the fireworks.........
We’re not concerned here with showing up for a date and meeting someone ugly or incompatible. We’re concerned with you showing up for n M&G, not seeing the guy you think you’re meeting, because he looks nothing like his images and is instead watching you from across the bar totally anonymously or not being there at all when you think you've been stood up, he is filtering.
These are a lot of what-ifs, but they're what-ifs we think we all need to be aware of if you're going to meet people in person to have sex with who previously existed to us only behind a computer screen.
Leave in plenty of time, if you get delayed call him, this shit happens but if you give yourself time it lessens the chance.
If you have arrived early and he is there, then why not start early, but still go through arrival procedure.
Always have at least an hour between your M&Gs nothing worse for the guy to turn up a little early to reconnoitre the place to see you getting on famously with his competition.
Next Tip
At the M&G that is not planned to go sexual.
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
At the M&G that is not planned to go sexual.
Try to arrive a little early. On arrival do your checks. Phone on – Got signal and call or text the “Wing Person that you have arrived safely. Get a nice spot away from families or prying ears. Know where the ladies room is.
When the guy arrives, sit opposite each other initially, this is more natural also. After the initial pleasantries, let him know that you have tell somebody that he has arrived. A decent man will be cool with this.
If you have told your wing person that you are leaving at say 2pm. Tell the guy that you must leave at 1:50pm, this allows for long wined goodbyes and final “oh I forgot” type questions.
If this was supposed to be a simple M&G then do not go sexual without having told your hubby/wing person, unless of course this is your thing because that is a dangerous practice. To move it sexual you must stop and call somebody and adjust the end time as suitable. The wing person would worry otherwise.
Keep conversation light This kind of M&G is all about enjoying the company of someone new and intriguing, don’t have long stories about past relationships and swinging from the chandeliers with a dildo up your bum. HWing should be fun for both, so try to keep the conversation light and upbeat, then towards the second half cover sexual do’s and don’t’s but only if you intend to go there with him. If you have no intention of taking it sexual ever, just keep it bubbling along until you have to leave.
If he creeps you out completely, end it - if necessary go to the ladies and use your phone to tell your wing person to ring you in five with an emergency and you have got to go. Or just get up and leave, you owe him nothing.
Safety points, even if you do not drive. Do not take a lift from him at this stage. Get a cab or have somebody collect you. Your own transport is the best. First dates alone at his house are also risky.
How to end the date
If you’re keen for a second date with this person, tell him! However, if you’re shy, or would prefer to gage whether he’d like to see you again, perhaps you could give him a hint by saying: “It’s been lovely meeting you, I really enjoyed it.” But men are crap with hints, so you might have to say “I would like to take this further, next time.......” If that is too forward, tell him you want to see him again and you promise to email him soon and make sure you do. It is OK to kiss good bye as passionately as you like – Remember the whole purpose here is to find a guy to have sex with.
If you’re 100% sure you don’t want a second date, it’s important that you still try to end the date on a warm and positive note, while being truthful, to avoid hurt feelings and awkwardness. Honesty truly is the best policy; being honest is good but not easy. You can say, I will email you and then let him down that way. Remembering your safety because he came today because he so wants to have sex with you, it is sometimes easier to say no after the date.
Ladies, if you are into him and he doesn't want to see you again, don’t think it is because you have jelly thighs, fat bum, wrinkles, too old, or have spinach on your teeth. Guys get cold feet too and remember some of them are just arseholes and some of them get caught by their wife, so you never hear from them again anyway. You are a prize and you have to believe that you are.
All women are very fuckable the problem is they don't always believe it themselves.
Next Tip
At the M&G that is planned to go sexual.
Try to arrive a little early. On arrival do your checks. Phone on – Got signal and call or text the “Wing Person that you have arrived safely. Get a nice spot away from families or prying ears. Know where the ladies room is.
When the guy arrives, sit opposite each other initially, this is more natural also. After the initial pleasantries, let him know that you have tell somebody that he has arrived. A decent man will be cool with this.
If you have told your wing person that you are leaving at say 2pm. Tell the guy that you must leave at 1:50pm, this allows for long wined goodbyes and final “oh I forgot” type questions.
If this was supposed to be a simple M&G then do not go sexual without having told your hubby/wing person, unless of course this is your thing because that is a dangerous practice. To move it sexual you must stop and call somebody and adjust the end time as suitable. The wing person would worry otherwise.
Keep conversation light This kind of M&G is all about enjoying the company of someone new and intriguing, don’t have long stories about past relationships and swinging from the chandeliers with a dildo up your bum. HWing should be fun for both, so try to keep the conversation light and upbeat, then towards the second half cover sexual do’s and don’t’s but only if you intend to go there with him. If you have no intention of taking it sexual ever, just keep it bubbling along until you have to leave.
If he creeps you out completely, end it - if necessary go to the ladies and use your phone to tell your wing person to ring you in five with an emergency and you have got to go. Or just get up and leave, you owe him nothing.
Safety points, even if you do not drive. Do not take a lift from him at this stage. Get a cab or have somebody collect you. Your own transport is the best. First dates alone at his house are also risky.
How to end the date
If you’re keen for a second date with this person, tell him! However, if you’re shy, or would prefer to gage whether he’d like to see you again, perhaps you could give him a hint by saying: “It’s been lovely meeting you, I really enjoyed it.” But men are crap with hints, so you might have to say “I would like to take this further, next time.......” If that is too forward, tell him you want to see him again and you promise to email him soon and make sure you do. It is OK to kiss good bye as passionately as you like – Remember the whole purpose here is to find a guy to have sex with.
If you’re 100% sure you don’t want a second date, it’s important that you still try to end the date on a warm and positive note, while being truthful, to avoid hurt feelings and awkwardness. Honesty truly is the best policy; being honest is good but not easy. You can say, I will email you and then let him down that way. Remembering your safety because he came today because he so wants to have sex with you, it is sometimes easier to say no after the date.
Ladies, if you are into him and he doesn't want to see you again, don’t think it is because you have jelly thighs, fat bum, wrinkles, too old, or have spinach on your teeth. Guys get cold feet too and remember some of them are just arseholes and some of them get caught by their wife, so you never hear from them again anyway. You are a prize and you have to believe that you are.
All women are very fuckable the problem is they don't always believe it themselves.
Next Tip
At the M&G that is planned to go sexual.
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SmilingHusband
- Pervert
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:18 am
- Location: Not Here
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
^^^^ this is SO perfect for newbies, and those that always run a non-sex solo first meet.
EXCELLENT.
FWIW, this should be a "sticky" post in the main HWing section. Many never come to the library, and this is one of THE most important subjects/topics for those that really do this.
EXCELLENT.
FWIW, this should be a "sticky" post in the main HWing section. Many never come to the library, and this is one of THE most important subjects/topics for those that really do this.
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Thank you Smiling H -: You're bang on. Maybe PM Allengt
Very important I should have warned the newbies too -:
Don't Meet for a Meal on a M&G: You've never spent time with this individual so how do you know you'll have a good time? Meet for coffee or a drink. You'll probably know whether or not you want to see this person again within the first five - 25 minutes. A meal elongates any meeting, especially if service is slow. If you hit it off, you can always grab dinner on date number two.
Very important I should have warned the newbies too -:
Don't Meet for a Meal on a M&G: You've never spent time with this individual so how do you know you'll have a good time? Meet for coffee or a drink. You'll probably know whether or not you want to see this person again within the first five - 25 minutes. A meal elongates any meeting, especially if service is slow. If you hit it off, you can always grab dinner on date number two.
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
At the M&G that is planned to go sexual.
Try to arrive a little early. Same stuff as for non sexual until the guy arrive, we are going for this is a solo date no hubby in tow.
Condoms, (he may have forgotten his), clean underwear, (seriously), sanitary towels, mobile phone charger, lube for the obvious, sensible shoes for the journey home.
As much as I hate having alcohol on first dates, this would normally follow a M&G meet so you know each other and are newbies, some of the seasoned HWs are well down the road already, so as a newbie it is your second time and you have agreed to have sex. One or two drinks and that is all, make sure you see them poured or delivered and do not drink a drink you left unattended
The best place to meet is the hotel where the deed will be done.
When you get to the suite, text the room number to your wing person. If there is no phone signal in the room, fuck it, pick up the hotel phone and call your wing person the hotel suite details.
Dress to impress. Look your best. Live in the moment. Go in with the attitude that you'll never see the person again. This way you won't put any pressure on yourself to perform, and you won't have super-high expectations. You'll be doing it just for the fun of it. You'll be able to live as if this night won't have huge consequences. Which, in reality, it won't, you are going to fuck this guy until you have had enough. By going in with the mentality that what you do tonight truly doesn't matter to anybody but you, you'll be able to have a good time and live for the moment. This is what HWing is all about.
Clear your mind - The best way to prepare for meeting your FB is to clear your mind. Don't worry about rehearsing talking points and sexual anecdotes. Leave your day at the door, and just focus on clearing your mind. Only when you're present will you be able to have fun and throw yourself into the fantasy, don’t worry about remembering details to relay to your husband later, believe me they will come flooding back. If you want, review your messages for a boost beforehand to refresh your memory and put you in the right mindset to fuck this guy.
Set the alarm on your phone to 30 minutes before you must leave. Stick to this time, If you need to shower do so.
When time is up, gather your stuff and leave, even if you are going to be 1 minute late, be on the phone to hubby wing person. The sure fire way to piss your hubby off is to go over time. Remember you love hubby and he loves you, that is why you are there with a realitive stranger’s cock inside you.
Enjoy it AND DO NOT RUN OVER TIME WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Once the date is in motion you are not a hooker, this is consensual and you have the freedom to leave at any time.
Some women take a rape alarm and some carry mace, I have never met one and my wife never went equipped to burn some fuckers eyes out.
What condoms? Regular ones. College students can get them over their head, no cock is that big, although some students are cocks.
If you use lube, do not use baby oil or any oil based products with condoms, because it eats the condom. Water based lube is the governor.
Have fun out there and be safe. HWing is fun if you throw yourself at it. If you swallow his load and you haven’t done that for hubby yet, then get swallowing hubby’s loads to or you will make him jealous. Unless that is your thing.
Try to arrive a little early. Same stuff as for non sexual until the guy arrive, we are going for this is a solo date no hubby in tow.
Condoms, (he may have forgotten his), clean underwear, (seriously), sanitary towels, mobile phone charger, lube for the obvious, sensible shoes for the journey home.
As much as I hate having alcohol on first dates, this would normally follow a M&G meet so you know each other and are newbies, some of the seasoned HWs are well down the road already, so as a newbie it is your second time and you have agreed to have sex. One or two drinks and that is all, make sure you see them poured or delivered and do not drink a drink you left unattended
The best place to meet is the hotel where the deed will be done.
When you get to the suite, text the room number to your wing person. If there is no phone signal in the room, fuck it, pick up the hotel phone and call your wing person the hotel suite details.
Dress to impress. Look your best. Live in the moment. Go in with the attitude that you'll never see the person again. This way you won't put any pressure on yourself to perform, and you won't have super-high expectations. You'll be doing it just for the fun of it. You'll be able to live as if this night won't have huge consequences. Which, in reality, it won't, you are going to fuck this guy until you have had enough. By going in with the mentality that what you do tonight truly doesn't matter to anybody but you, you'll be able to have a good time and live for the moment. This is what HWing is all about.
Clear your mind - The best way to prepare for meeting your FB is to clear your mind. Don't worry about rehearsing talking points and sexual anecdotes. Leave your day at the door, and just focus on clearing your mind. Only when you're present will you be able to have fun and throw yourself into the fantasy, don’t worry about remembering details to relay to your husband later, believe me they will come flooding back. If you want, review your messages for a boost beforehand to refresh your memory and put you in the right mindset to fuck this guy.
Set the alarm on your phone to 30 minutes before you must leave. Stick to this time, If you need to shower do so.
When time is up, gather your stuff and leave, even if you are going to be 1 minute late, be on the phone to hubby wing person. The sure fire way to piss your hubby off is to go over time. Remember you love hubby and he loves you, that is why you are there with a realitive stranger’s cock inside you.
Enjoy it AND DO NOT RUN OVER TIME WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Once the date is in motion you are not a hooker, this is consensual and you have the freedom to leave at any time.
Some women take a rape alarm and some carry mace, I have never met one and my wife never went equipped to burn some fuckers eyes out.
What condoms? Regular ones. College students can get them over their head, no cock is that big, although some students are cocks.
If you use lube, do not use baby oil or any oil based products with condoms, because it eats the condom. Water based lube is the governor.
Have fun out there and be safe. HWing is fun if you throw yourself at it. If you swallow his load and you haven’t done that for hubby yet, then get swallowing hubby’s loads to or you will make him jealous. Unless that is your thing.
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sxypssycat
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2014 10:41 pm
- Location: Boston, MA
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Thank you so much for posting this, it is really helping me.
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Thank you so much everybody, particularly new HWs, it makes the writing and rewriting so worth it.sxypssycat wrote:Thank you so much for posting this, it is really helping me.
There is one more tip to go in this series, how to act after the sexual first date, it is for the new girls as after a while you will work out what works for you, remember it is only a guide and meant to get you thinking about your own situation. Then I will do the hubby's guide on what he should/could be doing whilst all this is going on.....
Last edited by Truckstar on Sat Jan 10, 2015 11:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Thank you very fine praise from a very experienced lady, I bet there are many that would like to get as far along as you Ares. A very special kind of kink that you bring to the lifestyle and as my wife often says about you, probably the only way to do it (your thang) well, is your way...Ares wrote:........Anyhoo, Mr T, love that you and the Mrs are back posting again with your common sense style. Keep it up!
Re: Safety and Security for Ladies in this Lifestyle
Final tip for newbie ladies. After the date.
We are assuming it went very well and you leave on time. You are going down to the hotel reception to meet hubby or going home.
Firstly, whatever you agreed is your protocol, ring or text that you are on your way down. Personally, I believe it is better to text, you will be high on sex and the date and he will be nervy, not the best combination for a call.
If you are driving home, not good to have a conversation, hands free or not. Concentrate on the road.
Now I believe there should be one text/email to the guy thanking him for a great time, he should respond and then there should be no contact between you and him for at least 24 hours. My wife and I still try 48 hours for a new FB. The guy if appropriate should also send a simple thank you to your hubby, thanking him for the opportunity. This does not suit all peeps.
When you get home, you will need to make an absolute fuss of your hubby, he will be like a dog with two dicks, don’t worry, get down on his cock and suck it. Also it is not so easy for a guy to cum from a BJ with his wife, however he will be on fire, give it five minutes BJ and then fuck him. N.B. some of you might have the creampie fantasy, if that is your thing, crack on.
GUYS BE CAREFUL, if this is her first adventure as a HW she will be sore. BE CAREFUL.
Girls, if he wants to fuck you then let him, it isn’t likely to last long. He will be asking a million questions, answer some and then tell him, you will save some until tomorrow when you are rested.
Then tell him what you remember, if you did things with FB that you wouldn’t do with hubby, then only you know. Guys do not hassle them, you probably got her into this lifestyle, let it unwind slowly.
Girls if you loved this and you usually do, the way for it to continue for you (unless you have this cage or abstinence kink), is to fuck your husband more, don’t worry your pussy will get used to it. Imagine hookers do 5-10 a day and still fuck their partners. So you are early days.
When you are alone – reflect on what has happened. Mark the good bits, cross the bad bits.
Ask yourself these questions, If I was to HW again, what would I do different and why?
What went good for me?
What went bad for me?
Did I manage hubby well?
Did I manage my own expectations well?
Do I need to revisit anything hubby and I put in place, like rules and the like?
Have a great time and I hope you all stay safe and enjoy all the wonderful guys that all you beautiful women deserve. Opening yourself up sexually is a beautiful thing. Ladies please remember you are the prize and as long as you know that these guys will work hard for you. If you don’t like yourself – how could you possibly expect somebody else to.
Final tip.
Next time you are out look around at the ladies, you are one of these. All of us men are looking at you and thinking that we would love to spend time with you. We love you curvy, we love you thin, tall, short, dark or pale. We love you because you all have sexy qualities and the fact that you are sensual and sexual within – liking and loving yourself radiates as attractiveness to us.
We love you all. Have fun.
We are assuming it went very well and you leave on time. You are going down to the hotel reception to meet hubby or going home.
Firstly, whatever you agreed is your protocol, ring or text that you are on your way down. Personally, I believe it is better to text, you will be high on sex and the date and he will be nervy, not the best combination for a call.
If you are driving home, not good to have a conversation, hands free or not. Concentrate on the road.
Now I believe there should be one text/email to the guy thanking him for a great time, he should respond and then there should be no contact between you and him for at least 24 hours. My wife and I still try 48 hours for a new FB. The guy if appropriate should also send a simple thank you to your hubby, thanking him for the opportunity. This does not suit all peeps.
When you get home, you will need to make an absolute fuss of your hubby, he will be like a dog with two dicks, don’t worry, get down on his cock and suck it. Also it is not so easy for a guy to cum from a BJ with his wife, however he will be on fire, give it five minutes BJ and then fuck him. N.B. some of you might have the creampie fantasy, if that is your thing, crack on.
GUYS BE CAREFUL, if this is her first adventure as a HW she will be sore. BE CAREFUL.
Girls, if he wants to fuck you then let him, it isn’t likely to last long. He will be asking a million questions, answer some and then tell him, you will save some until tomorrow when you are rested.
Then tell him what you remember, if you did things with FB that you wouldn’t do with hubby, then only you know. Guys do not hassle them, you probably got her into this lifestyle, let it unwind slowly.
Girls if you loved this and you usually do, the way for it to continue for you (unless you have this cage or abstinence kink), is to fuck your husband more, don’t worry your pussy will get used to it. Imagine hookers do 5-10 a day and still fuck their partners. So you are early days.
When you are alone – reflect on what has happened. Mark the good bits, cross the bad bits.
Ask yourself these questions, If I was to HW again, what would I do different and why?
What went good for me?
What went bad for me?
Did I manage hubby well?
Did I manage my own expectations well?
Do I need to revisit anything hubby and I put in place, like rules and the like?
Have a great time and I hope you all stay safe and enjoy all the wonderful guys that all you beautiful women deserve. Opening yourself up sexually is a beautiful thing. Ladies please remember you are the prize and as long as you know that these guys will work hard for you. If you don’t like yourself – how could you possibly expect somebody else to.
Final tip.
Next time you are out look around at the ladies, you are one of these. All of us men are looking at you and thinking that we would love to spend time with you. We love you curvy, we love you thin, tall, short, dark or pale. We love you because you all have sexy qualities and the fact that you are sensual and sexual within – liking and loving yourself radiates as attractiveness to us.
We love you all. Have fun.