April 21st Saturday
Getting home from dropping Maria off at Gus’ house was one of those jump for joy moments. I was so proud of Maria and thankful for the arrangement that we had set up. A complete turnaround from the anxiety that came with the lack of condoms. I totally accepted that they were going to have sex bareback from now on. But surprisingly, the main thing I was focused on was Maria playing out this dominant persona. I’ve brought this up before but she was a little timid to entertain the idea. Now she seemed to start to embrace it. I don’t know if she planned it or if it was spontaneous but what she did to me before she got out of the car sent me over the edge. Getting me worked up right before she goes over Gus’ house. And then patting my dick? Getting me to pick her up after? This must be what heaven feels like. Every guy is different, but for me, dating a girl with slight dominant tendencies is truly a dream. So hopefully you can appreciate how lucky I felt in this moment. Maria did not tell me when she needed to be picked up but I wasn’t focusing on that right now. I had the whole house to myself to enjoy the bliss. Not 10 minutes after I dropped her off, Maria texted me.
“Did you like that??”
No indication of what she was referring to but it wasn’t necessary. I just replied
“I loved it
”
I soon put my phone away and started to plan how I was going to spend the evening at the house by myself. I decided to go out on the balcony with a joint and a beer and just relax and think for a while. I started to think about some of the things that Gus and I were talking about the other day. I thought about I said things were “escalating” and Gus tried to downplay it a bit, saying that’s not the word he would use. There was no denying that this whole thing was escalating. And that’s fine but I felt just a little annoyed that Gus did not admit it in front of me. He can be a bit of a politician sometimes. Picks his words carefully and knows how to talk around certain topics. It’s ironic that Gus comes to me saying he wants a dialogue, but he doesn’t quite open all the way. To be fair, it’s not the easiest topic in the world to talk about, the boundaries of a cuckold relationship. I stopped myself in thought for a second. Maybe it was the joint, but I felt like I just stumbled on a profound albeit obvious realization:
I am in a cuckold relationship with Maria and Gus. They’re cuckolding me right now.
I tried to digest that thought for a while. My friend and girlfriend are probably having sex without a condom right now. Is she on top of him? Or underneath him? Are her tits bouncing up and down as she rides his dick? Does he have her on her knees? Or are her legs pointed up in the air? I felt my heart rate starting to increase, my chest started to feel tight. I couldn’t help but wonder what they could be doing right now and I was incredibly turned on. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t beat off. I suspected Maria would be over there for another hour or two which is way too long to play with yourself without release. I was experienced enough to know that if you cum while your significant other is with someone else, you risk losing all the excitement of the situation and can potentially bum yourself out. As much as I appreciated the situation, I had to distract myself from these horny thoughts.
I considered cleaning the house. Maybe it could be fun to play out this “subservient” role while toiling in the situation. Thing is, the house was already pretty clean so I wouldn’t be able to do it for long. So I figured I could tidy up later if I got bored or restless. I contemplated starting a dinner. Maybe Maria would text me for a ride soon and we could talk about her date over a nice meal before going upstairs. Ever since Maria moved in with me, I always did all the cooking. It’s always been a source of personal satisfaction that I could impress Maria with my cooking skills. I mean, I worked at a restaurant for a couple years so I kind of should be a good cook. It’s funny though, Maria and I use to joke that the only reason she sleeps with me is because I make delicious food for her. Guess it’s a good thing Gus’ isn’t much of a chef?
I quickly jotted down a list and went to go put my shoes on to go to the grocery store. As I was getting ready to leave the house, I spontaneously got the idea to go to the gym as well. I had already gone for a run that day but I figured I’d lift some weights and blow off some extra steam. I was gunna workout, cook dinner and could clean the apartment later. It felt good to have a plan to keep me occupied. Plus, if Maria texted me while I was out I could just swing by and pick her up. I went upstairs to get my gym clothes out of the master bedroom. When I walked in, I saw Maria’s clothes were still spread out around the room from when she got changed to go over Gus’. Her black sports bra was on the dresser and her leggings and panties were in a bunch besides the bed. It dawned on me that, at this moment, Maria’s clothes were probably scattered all over Gus’ house and she was probably naked and getting fucked by him. I let that sink in for a little while, got my clothes and headed out the door.
I got back from the gym and store around 730pm. The entire trip was kind of a haze. I would be lifting weights, or paying for food but my mind was somewhere else. Before I left I texted Maria to let me know when to pick her up. She hadn’t replied yet but I kept my phone nearby. As I was unpacking the groceries, I realized I forgot to pick something up for dinner. It sounds silly but the second I realized I forgot that one ingredient, my motivation to cook vanished instantly on the spot. I had absolutely zero appetite myself and Maria showed no signs of being home for dinner. So instead of cooking for the next hour, I went back on the balcony and started to think some more.
Again, I thought back to the day that Gus was being sincere with me on the balcony. It wasn’t the most comfortable conversation to have but it was important that he broke the ice. He realized we’re playing with fire and just wanted to make sure that everything is still okay with me. It was relieving for Gus to show concern for me, even if I wouldn’t want to admit it. When I first got wind that he didn’t want to use condoms anymore, it felt like my generosity was being taken advantage of. But’s that’s not it. It was just what they wanted to do and since I’ve been preaching to Maria to just do what she wants, it just made sense.
I decided to get another beer and smoke another joint while I waited for Maria to text me back. I know it’s not the healthiest thing to do but that’s what I did. I thought a little more about the day Gus and I talked. I remember how we called this whole thing “fun and games” and Gus seemed to really like that. I guess if you’re trying to downplay something, writing it off as “fun and games” works in your favor. But why downplay it at all? Is Gus afraid that I’m just going to call it quits one day and we’ll stop this whole thing? It’s funny how I felt cared for when Gus talked to me but maybe it was just his way of making sure he could sleep with Maria on a more long term basis. I stopped myself in thought once again. I thought about Maria and Gus being together on the longer term and what that looked like. Maria and I once agreed this whole thing was temporary but there wasn’t any plan for how long we’d do it. A summer? A year? Two years? I made a mental note to bring it up to her sometime. But I imagine she didn’t have a plan either. We didn’t even have a plan for when she would be home that night.
Was she going to even come home that night? Maria said she’d get me to pick her up “later”. Did she mean “hours later” or like “tomorrow later?”. Would she really stay the night without explicitly planning it out before? She surprised me by getting me worked up in the car, would she surprise me by just sleeping over? Thing is, I had no idea. And like, if she did sleepover it isn’t the end of the world, what bothered me is I couldn’t tell what she would do. I could not predict her anymore, or rather, I couldn’t predict them.
I had another hour or so of anxious waiting ahead of me. I got a small bite to eat and smoked another joint. Maria never responded to my text but finally around 9:30-10pm I heard finally heard the front door open. I went downstairs and saw Maria’s messed up hair and red checks.
“Hi.” She said.
“Hi.” I replied.
I went to go hug her as it seemed like the thing to do. When I did I thought I’d catch a whiff of sex but instead all I could smell was booze.
“You been drinking?” I asked with a smile, trying not to seem confrontational.
“I had a couple…” Maria replied with a devious tone that suggested she had more than a couple.
“How’d you get home? Did you walk?”
“Gus drove me home..”
“He wasn’t drinking as well?”
“He was but he just had a couple.”
“Haha so you just went over and stole all his beers?”
“Small price to pay for great sex!” Maria said, and then started laughing at her own comment.
Even after a bunch of drinks, Maria could be pretty witty. I was trying to think if she ever referred to it as “great sex” before.
“Oh yeah?” I asked, not sure what else to say.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“That good?”
“Better than before..” She conceded.
“Before the condoms?”
“hmmmm” Maria hummed in confirmation. She was killing me but I had to know more.
“What made it better?” I asked. Maria started speaking but got embarrassed and couldn’t finish her sentence.
“It’s okay you can tell me” I said.
“I knooooow…I’m just tired Scott…how about I tell you all about it tomorrow morning?”
“I work tomorrow morning” I said, which was my way of saying ‘no, please tell me all about it now’
“Well then I’ll tell youuuuuu….all about it…when you get off” Maria said.
“Alright,” I said, a little surprised that she actually didn’t want to go into detail.
We walked upstairs into the master bedroom and Maria started getting ready for bed. I snuck up behind her and started kissing her neck and feeling her up. She started to laugh. She knew what I was doing.
“Scott…” She said.
“Yeah?”
“My vagina is literally about to fall off from today …can we just go to sleep?”
“haha yeah sure…” I said, amused by her word choice but also disappointed that she turned me down.
“Thanks,” she said and turned around and kissed me on the lips. “I love you”
“I love you too.” I replied.
And that was it. Maria crawled into bed and fell asleep in record time. I was left to sit in bed wide awake and try to soak up everything that had transpired. I waited all day to reclaim my girlfriend and she barely gave any details as to what happened. Literally the first time we did not have aggressive reclaiming sex. Without the relief of sex, I started obsessing about the small details I knew about her day. She said the sex was “great”. She said the sex was “better than before” the condoms. So much better, Maria’s too sore to have sex with me. She’s too tired to do anything. Or maybe she just doesn’t
want to do anything. Maria came home with my friend’s cum inside her and I’m not even allowed to reclaim her. My friend got to fuck her all day while I waited at home, alone.
All these thoughts were swimming in my head until I couldn’t take it anymore and finally beat off in bed right beside Maria. I was worried I’d feel bummed out but I didn’t. Oddly enough, one of the first things that popped into my mind was the text that Maria sent me right after she got to Gus’.
“Did you like that??”
“I loved it” I said to myself.