It's coming, Chapter 9 :
After a quick shower Jennifer went downstairs to face the music, only John wasn’t home. There was no sign of him. She’d expected, given that he hadn’t slept in their bed, to find some sign that he’d spent the night on the sofa but there was nothing. No note. She checked her mobile. Nothing there but a couple of texts from friends and emails from charities asking for funds. Where was he?
She tried to eat something but it was hopeless. She was overcome by a mixture of shame and excitement. It was both thrilling and horrifying as the evening came back in sharp flashes. At the moment all she could think about was where John had gone and when he would be coming back.
She paced groggily, taking on water checking her phone constantly. Just as she was about to send a text or phone him the back door opened and he walked in. He was still dressed, he was bleary eyed and wild looking. She was about to speak but he held up his hand to stop her and stormed up the stairs.
“John I….” She groused pointlessly. When he came back down she tried again. “Look I’m sorry ok. I had a little too much to drink and..”
He stopped dead in front of her a look of total bewilderment on his face. “You what?” He folded his arms. “You had a little too much to drink!!!” He parroted back to her. “I can’t believe you. The drinking is the fucking least of it.” She flinched. Her rarely swore at her and it was like a slap in the face. “The way you behaved, it was just fucking unbelievable! You were like some cheap little slut.And you even forgot our…”
“I did not! I did not behave like a slut. I was just….” She was astonished. She knew he was right, and she knew that he had no idea just how bad she had been with Conor. However, she felt the flaring of a totally unjustifiable indignation rising in her chest. She decided to try to calm the waters. “Hadn’t you better start getting ready we need to be at Mum’s in a couple of hours?”
“I’m not going.” He said abruptly.
“What? What do you mean?” She didn’t really believe him.
“I said I’m not going.” His face set in the expression she recognised as being immovable. “Say hello to Melanie for me.” He never called her Melanie. They got on so well, always had. Before Jennifer could say another word John picked up his sports bag and walked out.
The afternoon was stilted and Jennifer could tell that her Mum doubted her story that John had some additional work to do that he couldn’t leave until Monday. She didn’t press the issue and allowed Jennifer to pretend that everything was fine. At one stage, while they were looking through old photographs, she almost believed that everything was fine. However, when it was time to leave reality hit her again like a hurricane. Back home, back to John.
She stopped on the way for a coffee. It was only an hour drive but she really needed extra time away and to think. The café was busy. Mainly couples with kids. It made her feel worse. All these happy people, seemingly having pleasant family days out while her world felt like everything was crumbling. She drank the rest of her cappuccino, scowled irritably at a young man who’d been trying to catch her eye the whole time, and got back on the road.
At home all was quiet. John was not back. It was hollow and eerie, like a strange place. It felt unsafe. She shivered and turned on the heater. She prepared dinner but she didn’t eat. It was something to do and she hoped maybe a small step on a bridge between them. She turned on the radio and listened to the latest bullshit politician bullshitting about bullshit. She turned it off irritably. Tried to read but the words evaporated and she found herself covering the same ground over and over again. In the end she turned on the telly and sat on the sofa with her legs up.
At 8pm she began to get worried. He would never be out this long without letting her know. At 9pm she seriously considered ringing him. The show she was vainly trying to watch distracted her for a while and then she picked up her phone at 9.25pm. She just had to know he was alright. It went straight to his answering message. Normally she wouldn’t leave one herself, but she babbled out something about being worried before ringing off. No word at 10pm and by 11 she was asleep, her head resting on her arm.
Eventually the door opened at nearly 1am and John crept in. He put his keys on the hook, dropped his bag near the door and followed the sound of the telly. For a moment he watched her, his heart skipped and he wanted to go to her, hold her, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. Although his heart melted a little seeing her asleep and vulnerable like this there was a well of humiliation and rage that just would not run dry. So he packed himself off to the spare room and desperately tried to get to sleep.
He heard Jennifer stirring downstairs, her footsteps on the stairs and then the opening of their bedroom door. He heard the hesitation and then the handle of the spare room turning. John pretended to be asleep. He sensed something from her, was it the desire to come in and wake him? He thought so. But she didn’t. The door closed quietly and what they needed to say went unsaid.
In the morning John was already dressed and ready for work. “Do you want me to make you some eggs?” She asked him.
He barely looked up. “I’ve eaten thanks. Don’t want to be late. See you.” With that he gathered up his stuff and left without giving her a kiss or even a backward glance. Even when he’d been treating her so badly in the recent past he’d never left without a kiss or a hug. It left her feeling cold and alone, unloved. She tried to shrug it off and get on with things. She wasn’t going to the hospital today she’d decided she couldn’t face it.
As she tidied up she found some papers on the kitchen counter, they referred to a meeting today at 1pm. They looked important. Maybe she should take them into him? It would give her the chance to see him, maybe he’d be grateful, maybe it would open up the space to talk? Maybe she would see Conor? It didn’t come into her mind explicitly but that thought lingered tantalisingly at the back of her mind. Jennifer went through the housework like a dervish, got herself ready and set out to save the day.
When she arrived at John's workplace she recognised the security man from the party. “Hello I’m John's wife, he works in…”
The man interrupted her “Oh I know who you are.” He had a knowing look on his face. “Go right on up.” He swiped her through. She wilted under his gaze. Was what had happened that bad? She was tempted to turn around and leave but she was compelled now to give the papers to John.As she went through the building she encountered similar looks. One or two people she knew at least on speaking terms actually refused to speak to her, at least they seemed to, finding urgent things to do as she passed. In John's office even Jessie was reluctant to talk to her. “Hi Jennifer.” He mumbled.
John was at his desk poring over a big pile of documents. He started when she coughed to alert him that she was there. “Jennifer.” He said simply.
She hesitated “I found these papers. I thought you might need them.” He looked at what she held out to him.
For a moment she thought he was going to refuse to take them. “Yeah they’re not really important. I don’t need them until Thursday. But thanks.”
“It’s ok you’re welcome.” She replied. A terrible silence followed. She needed to go, to get away from here.
“Ahhhhhhhh Jennifer I thought it was you!” She turned to find Conor behind her being trailed by his harassed looking assistant. One part of her was horrified to see him, but another part soared. She felt her nipples harden and her breath shorten. “What a great party. Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes, I erm did. Thank you Conor.” She said softly. John was watching this exchange tensely saying nothing. Then without warning Conor came right up to her and put his arm around her waist. Her whole body reacted.
“And didn’t she look wonderful John? You’re a lucky man alright.” He smiled at John but it wasn’t a friendly smile it was lewd and dismissive all at once. John sat sullenly unable or unwilling to respond. Conor's hand squeezed Jennifer and she leaned into him their bodies pressed together. “I’ve hired a box for the horse racing on Wednesday. I’d like you both to come. Just a select few. Nothing fancy but it’s always fun. What do you say?”
John looked at Jennifer silently warning her to deny this man to make up any excuse. As if speaking with another’s tongue she said. “That would be lovely Conor.”
“Fabulous! Make a note Carol. Reservations for 4pm. A little time away for the office wouldn’t hurt eh John?” He said. “Great, well something to look forward to then.” Conor pulled Jennifer into him even tighter so that the hard tip of his cock pressed against her hip. “Better get on, get ahead of the game if we are going to have a break.” With that he patted Jennifer's ass and strode off with his assistant in his wake.
Jennifer watched him go. As usual she had been overwhelmed by him. His power, his presence, his confidence. “Fucking brilliant.” She was snapped back to her immediate surroundings by the bitterness in John's voice. “Another chance for you to look like a mindless bimbo. What the fuck are you thinking?”
Jennifer's first impulse was to apologise, to suggest that he go straight to Conor's assistant and cancel, but she was suddenly indignant. Who the hell was he calling her a mindless bimbo? “Grow up John. Maybe you should take a leaf out of his book. If you weren’t so stuffed-up you might have been the manager.” As soon as it left her mouth she regretted it.
He looked at her with an expression that was akin to hatred. It was so fierce that Jennifer took a step back. “I’m going home.” She said shakily.
“Good.” John said sharply. She faltered not knowing what to do. This was exactly the opposite of what she’d imagined. She couldn’t think of a rejoinder or more importantly anything to repair the damage right now. So she simply turned and walked away. John didn’t even acknowledge her departure.
At home Jennifer was confused. She was angry with herself and with John, but she was also excited about going to the races on Wednesday. On the drive her phone had vibrated with a message. She’d hoped that it would be John offering an olive branch but it was Conor's number saying simply. On Wednesday wear something tight

. Her whole body quivered.