Re: Jordan
Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2024 6:00 pm
"I can't believe you turned them down, Jack. I can't believe it!"
Jordan Simms, a shy, skinny, bespectacled young girl in a clean, modest khaki dress from the charity store peeked inconspicuously around the doorframe into the kitchen.
The oldest daughter of Pastor Jack and Mrs. Monica Simms (who had just turned nine last week), was an intensely curious girl. Focusing on being able to see and not be seen, she watched her parents argue. Her mother, visibly pregnant with her third child, refused to turn around to face her husband. Jordan's mother was usually so even tempered. Sweet, even. Now her posture displayed an unfamiliar set of emotions: frustration. Even anger.
Her face was not visible–Monica leaned over the kitchen faucet as it poured out a weak stream of water into a sink full of dishes.
Jordan's father, Reverend Jack Simms, tried to put a gentle hand on her shoulder.
But she shrugged it away angrily.
"It's not a good thing, Monica," he tried to explain. "I know it's more money than we have. But it's not a good thing."
"It's not just the money. It's just…security! Advancement! This is a big church! An established, successful church! They have an auditorium for a sanctuary! They have a full time praise band! A good Vacation Bible School! Jordan could learn the Bible from a professional teacher instead of just poking through your library! You could become a famous preacher on TV! Don't you want to reach more people for Jesus? What is the downside, Jack? Tell me!"
Jordan saw her dad cringe for a moment before formulating his response.
"I know you don't really believe any of that, Monica. There are downsides. Big ones. Their church is flashy, I'll give them that. And I know they have a lot of people attending. All that money comes from a big, excited congregation. But all that money goes somewhere, too. And not where it should. I don't trust it. I know who these people are. And so do you."
Jordan's mother stopped scrubbing the plate. Her shoulders slumped in defeat.
"I know. I know it, Jack. I'm just so tired of struggling."
"I know, honey. But we're really blessed, in our way. God will make a way for us."
"We don't have room in this little house for a third child, Jack. I thought we'd be able to move up by now."
The Reverend sighed. "I'll take care of that. I asked Lyle and he said he had some extra lumber and drywall. He said he'd come over next week and he and I can put another bedroom on the back of the house."
Monica sighed again. "That's very kind of Lyle. But he's 74 years old, Jack. I'm afraid we're going to kill him."
Reverend Simms laughed. "It'll take more than that to kill Lyle. No, he and I can tackle it together. We'll make another room for a nursery in no time. You'll see. Jordan and I can go find some shingles and a window or two at the salvage yard. And she can help us build. You know how she is, she'll love that. Maybe fetch us tools or hand us nails or help paint. It'll come together before you know it. And it'll be fun! And I'll make it nice for you, honey. You and the new baby. It'll be great. I promise."
Jordan's mother sighed again, finally turning around with a weary look on her face.
"Jack, you're a sweet man, but you're naive. It's what I love about you most days. But some days…like today…I just…"
She clenched her fists and grunted in frustration before letting her head fall against her husband's chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her frazzled hair.
"I know, honey. But we'll be okay. The Lord provides. Sufficient for the day."
Monica didn't respond as her husband stroked her back.
The Reverend's voice modulated to a low, gentle, reassuring tone. "You've been on your feet all day. With a baby on the inside and a toddler on the outside, honey. Go lie down and relax. I'll clean up here."
"Okay." Monica wearily agreed.
Jordan scurried away out of sight into the pantry as her mother walked by, too tired to notice her daughter standing there. After hearing footsteps up the stairs, Jordan peeked out again to see her father tending to the dishes. She cautiously stepped out and walked up behind him.
"Hey Dad…"
He turned around, betraying a weary look on his face that brightened noticeably when he saw his oldest daughter.
"Heya Jojo…How's the homework coming?"
"It's done. It wasn't hard. Is mom okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course, Jojo. Everything's fine."
"Are you guys fighting?"
Reverend Simms shook his head. "No. Mom's just tired. You wanna help me with the dishes? Grab a towel. You can dry."
Jordan picked a dish towel out of a drawer and stood beside her father as he handed her clean, wet dishes.
"You comb the dictionary yet, Jojo? What's your new word today?"
"Atavistic." Jordan responded proudly.
"Oooh, that's a five dollar word right there. What's it mean?"
She was ready with the answer. "Reverting to a concept that is ancient, outdated, or ancestral."
"Sounds like something a wizard would study in an old dusty library."
Jordan giggled. "Maybe."
They worked in silence for another moment.
"Dad?"
"Hmmm?" He handed her a mug to dry.
"Why does mom think you're naive? You read more books than anybody."
Reverend Simms sighed. "I guess you heard that. Well, I can be naive. Mom's not wrong about that. But being naive can be a good or a bad thing. Naive just means innocent. Someone who hasn't been corrupted by the world or the evil things in it. And that's a good thing! But it can also mean that that person can get taken advantage of or exploited by tricky or evil people. Because naive people don't understand evil or know how to fight back against it."
"Was Jesus naive?"
"I don't think so. I think he knew exactly what everyone's game was, good or evil. But he, since he was such a special kind of good, he chose to resist evil in his own way. I'm sure people thought he was naive, though."
"So mom thinks you're naive because you turned down the offer from Maranatha Fellowship?"
The Reverend smiled. "How long were you listening to us?"
"The whole time."
Reverend Simms chuckled to himself. "Can't get anything by you, Jojo."
Jordan giggled.
Her father continued.
"Mom's worried about the new baby, and our congregation isn't very big. She's right. It's not going to be easy with a third mouth to feed. And I don't make the money that the pastors down at Maranatha Fellowship make. It's tough to get by sometimes. But we're making it. I've got that job stocking vending machines in the mornings. They keep me busy, and we're getting by. I think we're pretty blessed, myself. But mom's not wrong to worry. She just wants what's best for you kids."
"What's wrong with Maranatha? If you made more money, you wouldn't have to drive the chip truck anymore."
Reverend Simms turned off the faucet and turned toward his young daughter, grasping her forearm gently and looking into her eyes.
"Listen to me, Jojo. There's nothing wrong with a man who drives a delivery truck, or who digs ditches, or fixes cars. There's nothing that makes uh…a doctor or…a professor a better man than someone who drives a truck and delivers things that make people happy. It's honorable. And an honorable job is far, far more important to a man's character than a lucrative job. A good man is a good man no matter what his profession is. Jesus was a carpenter. And the best man in the world may well be a regular old truck driver, or a plumber, or any honest trade."
Jordan hadn't seen her father look that earnest before. It hit her hard. She didn't know how to respond.
He turned back to the sink and turned the faucet back on. Jordan thought about his response for a moment before following up.
"Dad, is it bad to be rich?"
Reverend Simms shook his head and smiled. "Not necessarily. But money…has a way of rotting things. In much the same way poverty can. Having too much can be just as dangerous to your soul as having too little. It rots things."
"Rotting things? How?"
"Well, too much of something can be bad for you. You remember Mr. Wiles? He used to sit three rows from the back? He died last year?"
Jordan nodded.
"Do you remember that before he died, he didn't have his feet anymore?"
"Uh huh."
"Well, Mr. Wiles had diabetes. He'd had it for a good long while, and he got it because he kept eating things that tasted good. Now we all love candy and yummy food, right? Nothing wrong with it all by itself. But Mr. Wiles went overboard with it. Eventually he got diabetes. But then after he got diabetes, he just kept eating and eating, more and more candy and sweets…and eventually his body just shut down, a little at a time."
"Mr. Wiles' feet fell off because he ate too much candy?" Jordan asked, wide eyed.
"Well, it's a little more complicated than that, but basically, yes. Too much abundance…too much of a sweet thing…too much pleasure…too much comfort…it's bad for you, Jojo. It's nice to have nice things. You should always work hard so you can have enough. But when you get greedy, when you get too much…that's when things start rotting. It can rot your soul. Or your marriage. Or your family. You've got to be on your guard against it."
"Do you think Maranatha is rotten?"
Reverend Simms' lips pursed. "I don't like to pass judgment on other Christians. Jesus says we shouldn't do that."
"But they're rich."
He nodded. "They are. Very rich. And I don't judge them for that. But I also don't want to put my family in the middle of all that. I like our church. The people here need us. They need me preaching and visiting them when they're sick. They need you to sing in the choir and pick up song books after services. We can't just leave them. And I don't know if we're strong enough to just get rich all of the sudden and still be the family that we want to be. Don't get me wrong, I want to give a good life to you. But I don't know if I'm strong enough to resist the temptations that come with a rich man's life. Especially a man who gets rich off of Jesus' name. So you can blame me if you want to, Jojo. But I feel it deep in my bones. Nothing good can come out of having too much and still claiming to follow Jesus. That's why I said no when they offered me that job."
Jordan nodded.
"I don't blame you for anything, Dad."
Glancing sideways for a second, Jordan saw a hint of a tear form in the corner of her father's eye.
"I can help you build a new room for the baby too," she offered. "I like Lyle. I like his funny stories."
The Reverend nodded, fighting out a smile.
"Thanks, Jojo. I like Lyle, too."
* * *
Three loud, metallic slaps rang harshly through the steel fire door.
"Yeah…come in."
The door squeaked as it opened less than half way, but then held steady. For a moment, no one appeared.
Sergeant–now Corporal–Rein stood up and cocked his head to see out the door, surprised to see a shock of long red hair nervously peek in, followed by a pale, petite woman's body. The door was pulled shut–but not before Mark looked past to see Corporal Arnold–one of his former squad leaders–dressed in his guard duty belt and looking hastily both ways to ensure the coast was clear.
Molly stood awkwardly at the entrance of Mark's barracks room–a nervous, half-cocked grin on her face. Her hair hung loose and flowed down to her shoulder blades and collar bones, her ears still studded with small gold earrings sporting the eagle, globe, and anchor–the symbol of the Marine Corps. She had a cloth shoulder bag slung over her right side, and she had changed from her courtroom clothing to a more casual outfit comprised of plain blue jeans and a forest green shirt that matched the color of her eyes.
"Hey…" Her nervous grin tensed further as her head and body tensed backward a half-inch, uncertain of what Mark's response or mental state would be upon seeing her.
"Hey." He seemed to be at a loss for words. But he didn't look angry.
Molly looked around Mark's barracks room for the first time. It was not unlike a prison cell.
Jared had tried to prepare her for the spartan reality of barracks life. A concrete floor with a solid, simple tile-print overlay. Walls made of large bricks, painted plain white. No decorations on the walls. On one side of the room was a small desk and chair. next to the desk, a waist-high bookshelf positively crammed full of paperbacks. On the other side was a single bed with a plain green blanket stretched tightly over the mattress. Centered on the back wall was a small alcove with a vanity sink and two doors facing each other–probably a bathroom and a closet.
"You're not supposed to be here." Mark said flatly.
Molly took a deep breath. "I know."
She took a second look around the room, noting small indicators of Mark's state of mind. Several small, grubby red smudges were visible on the white painted brick. Matching, as she soon realized, the torn skin on the knuckles of his right hand. A trash can was on its side in the alcove behind the sink…seemingly having been thrown from across the room.
"How are you feeling?" Molly asked gently, taking a step toward him.
"I'm okay. How are you?"
"I'm good."
Mark towered, trembling, in the center of his barracks room. He was dressed in his utility uniform, but had removed his button-up blouse. He still wore his tight green undershirt, camouflage pants, and utility boots.
His eyes were wild, his posture tense.
Molly took another step toward him. He looked like a wild animal–unsure whether to fight or flee, but stuck in a cage. She became suddenly and acutely aware of their size difference as she approached.
Mark twitched noticeably as she reached out to touch him, placing her flat palms on his firm chest and looking up into his eyes.
"So…tough day, huh?"
Mark nodded silently.
She slowly ran her hands up and down his torso. Then, when the shaking of his body began to diminish, she stepped in again to press the front of her torso against his and lay her cheek on his chest.
"Are you glad to see me?"
He felt the lilt of her voice resonate against his chest and the tension began to drain from him.
"Yeah. Yeah I am, actually. How did you get in here?"
"Jared set it up. I don't know how it works, but I think he called someone and changed the guard shifts before they brought you back here. He's doing guard duty tonight, and he put someone you know as the guard on your door. They waited until all the officers and senior people left and then snuck me up."
Mark allowed himself a half smile. "Sneaky bastards."
Molly sighed out a laugh. "Yeah." She looked up into his eyes. "Mark, where are you?"
Mark's eyebrow raised. "I'm in my barracks room. On motherfucking restriction…"
Molly smiled. "Yep. But I'm with you."
Mark sighed and allowed himself to put his arms around her and squeeze. She hummed and extended her own arms around his neck. They kissed deeply.
"So…" she said, stepping back from their embrace, "what's going to happen if they catch me here?"
"To you? Nothing. They'll just make you leave and escort you off base. I'll get some shit though."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Don't really care, actually. I just got fucked over for some bullshit, might as well add it to the tab, right?"
Molly nodded sadly.
"I don't think we've got a problem, though. If Frenchie's running the shift, he'll know how to keep people out of here. We can hang out for an hour or whatever and he can sneak you back down."
Molly shook her head. "Uh-uh. I'm staying the night. I told Jared I'd leave before people get up for PT. That's when he says there's a bunch of people around."
"How are you going to stay the night?" Mark looked around, confused. "You see this bed? It barely fits me…"
"We can make it work. I don't mind being cozy. Of course, we don't even have to sleep, if you don't want…" She flashed Mark a saucy smile.
Mark allowed himself a small laugh. "Okay…I'm not going to turn down a night with Molly. Especially when I'm stuck in here by myself for the next month."
"That's what I thought…" Molly gave him another quick peck before walking over to his desk, setting the shoulder bag down on the plain wooden surface.
"I brought you something."
Mark walked over and looked down into the bag as she began emptying it of a small stack of tupperware containers, along with some paper plates and plastic utensils.
"Megan made us some dinner. We had some time to kill before they could sneak me up so we went back to hers and Jared's place and made some pulled-pork burritos. You like these?"
"Oh, shit, I love those…" Mark said excitedly.
"She's pretty worried about you, big guy. They both are. And so am I. You doing okay? For real?" Molly opened the tupperware and the delicious smell of savory meat in hot wrapped tortillas wafted upward into Mark's face.
Mark shrugged, then grinned. "I'm definitely doing better now…"
* * *
The phone rang three times before he answered.
"Hello?"
"Good morning, Reverend."
"David! How are you? And we've talked about this. Call me Jack. Or Dad. But it's great to hear from you!"
"Okay Dd…Jack," David stumbled over the appellation.
"That's better. To what do I owe the honor on a Wednesday morning? Is everything all right?"
"Everything's fine, Rev…Jack. Just wanted to chat for a moment if it's convenient. I've got a couple questions I'd like to run by you. Are you busy?"
"I'm on my way to visit one of my parishioners in the hospital, but I have a few minutes. If you don't mind me driving while I talk. Do you mind?"
"No…no, of course not…" David shook his head, confused. The man from the older generation still had odd hangups about conversational etiquette that occasionally took him by surprise.
"Good. What's on your mind? And while I'm at it, where the heck are you right now? I know you've been globetrotting, and Jordan said you were in South America. I'll admit it, I'm a little jealous. I've always wanted to go…"
"Well, yes, I'm in Argentina for another couple days. But I don't see much when I go to these places beyond seaports and railyards. And airports sometimes. But the weather is nice…it's spring down here."
"You don't say…spring in September. Can you beat it? I mean, I knew seasons were the opposite in the southern hemisphere, but wow. What a neat thing to think about…"
"Yeah, it's nice. A lot of flowers are in bloom outside my hotel room. It smells nice. I wish Jordan could be here too. That's the downside of globetrotting."
"Yeah, she'd like to be there too, pal. She sure misses ya. So what's up? You wanted to ask me something?"
"Yeah, if that's okay."
"Nothing serious, is it?"
"Well, a little. But not bad, serious."
"Ooh, I like where this is going. Hit me with it." A small laugh underscored the reverend's quip.
David took a deep breath.
"Well, I'm not sure if Jordan told you, but the business I started is doing well. I took my ownership stake down from 40% to 20% when we hired a manager, but it's still generating a fair amount of income. Things are going well there."
"David, that's wonderful. What a blessing!"
"Yeah, well, this job pays pretty well too, and I also just got a pretty substantial bonus–some incentive pay for some changes I suggested at the Port of Los Angeles. Kinda technical, but suffice it to say, I've got a little extra money."
"Wow. I'm impressed, David. We always knew you were a hard worker. And savvy! I'm sure you've earned every penny, bud."
"Thank you."
David was surprised by the feeling that hit him when his father in law verbalized his approval. His face flushed, unaccustomed to approval from a father figure. He swallowed a couple times and caught his breath before continuing.
"David? You still there?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just dropped the phone for a minute…" David lied. He stabilized his voice, then continued.
"So here's the issue, Rev…Jack. My boss in Copenhagen thinks I'm working out in this position pretty well. And that's good. The bonus I got is great. And I do miss Jordan like crazy, but after the first year with Maersk we can renegotiate my away time so I can get home more. But for now, Arne…my boss…said I should do something nice for Jordan with the bonus I got."
"Well, I'm not going to disagree with that. What did you have in mind?"
David cleared his throat. "I'm going to buy her a car. A new car."
The line went silent for a moment.
"Reverend?"
"Sorry bud, I'm just…wow. It must have been some bonus."
"Yeah, it's a pretty good chunk of change. I just wanted to get your thoughts on it. Is there any way this could backfire? Would she think it's too big of a gesture? And what kind of car should I get?"
"Well, David, I'm never going to tell you not to spoil my daughter."
His voice sounded strained. Diplomatic. The line went silent again as he paused for a moment, clearly uncertain how to continue.
"Jack?" David asked when the silence got awkward.
"Yeah. I'm here. Well," Reverend Simms replied thoughtfully, "I don't know if I can answer which car you should get. You might want to talk to her mom about that one, she's better with that stuff than I am. As far as the first question, about whether it's too big of a gesture, I guess that depends."
"It depends? On what?" David was surprised.
"Well…this is awkward. I'm better doing this kind of stuff with my pastor hat on, and I've got my dad hat on right now. And since I've got the dad hat on, I'll just be blunt. Is everything okay? With you two?"
David gulped. "Yeah. No, we're fine! I mean, being apart is awful, it's driving us crazy. But I think we're okay. I just…our car's kinda old, and I thought…"
"Are you totally sure about that? Are you two working through anything…major?"
"No…no, nothing like that, Reverend."
"Jack. Or Dad. I told you I had my Dad hat on, David!" Reverend Simms laughed.
David laughed back nervously. "No, I know, Jack. But, uh, no. No, we're good. I just thought…"
David didn't finish.
"Well, if that's the case, I think it's a wonderful idea. She'll be thrilled. Is it a surprise? Am I sworn to secrecy?"
"Yeah, actually. I want to pick it up when I get home this weekend and surprise her with it."
"Well, as long as it's not the Batmobile or something, I don't know how you could go wrong." The levity had returned to his voice.
David began to relax. "No, no Batmobiles. I was thinking like a Honda or Toyota. Something reliable but fun. Maybe one of those mini SUV things we could take hiking."
"Boy, that would be neat. Yeah, I'd give Mrs. Simms a call, run it by her. She might tell you what color she likes, or whatever they do. But I think that's just great, David. I'm so happy for you, and I'm just so proud of you. We all are!"
David beamed to himself again.
"I'm serious, David. You're a good man. You're a..uh…a terrific provider, and you take good care of my daughter. I can't tell you how happy I am about all that. Now if I could only find a young man half as good as you for Jordan's sister. She just started her freshman year at college…well, you know all that. I'm just falling all over myself worrying about her. But that's my problem, not yours. I just sure am glad someone's looking out for my Jo-Jo."
David beamed brighter.
* * *
Pacing around the inside of Mark's barracks room, Molly was struck by just how much like a jail cell it was. No windows. Blank brick walls. Hard floor. A steel fire door. Although, the small bathroom counter was wood, giving that section of the space a bit of a homey feeling. But only a little bit.
She opened the door on one side of the sink and saw a very small bathroom: just a toilet and a stand-up shower. Both were spotless. Shutting the door, she opened the opposite door facing it to find a surprisingly deep closet. The closet was neatly arranged with uniform items of varying degrees of formality hanging off a single dowel near the back, and a small cluster of footwear on a shoe rack on one side. A few large duffel bags were stuffed with something and stacked neatly closer to the front. The whole thing, even filled with Mark's belongings, was big enough to walk into.
"Jealous of my closet?" Mark said, taking his place behind her and sliding his hands around the front of her stomach and pulling her back into his body.
Molly smiled and covered his clasped hands with hers. "A little. It's bigger than I thought."
"Yeah, some guys really stuff the space. I don't like to have too much stuff in here though."
"It's nice and neat. Like pretty much everything here."
"Yeah, well. You know. Barracks life. Everything spic and span." Mark sighed.
"Except the blood smears on the wall."
Mark tucked his chin, embarrassed. "You saw that, huh?"
Molly turned around and tucked her chin with an eyebrow cocked, throwing the classic "really?" look up at him as he avoided eye contact.
"If this is going to work, big guy, you need to come to terms with the fact that I notice things. Now when are you going to let me fix up your hand?"
Mark sheepishly lifted his right hand up to her eye line. She held the "really?" look and posture for a moment, then gently took his hand and inspected it. She squeezed each knuckle and waggled each finger, then turned it over, then over again.
"Doesn't look like you broke anything. Which is lucky, since you punched a brick wall. Not the best target if you ever want to master the piano."
Mark snorted, but let her continue.
"Do you have a first aid kit? You definitely have some abrasions. Nothing serious, but could get infected."
"Yeah, under the sink."
Molly stepped over and bent down, digging out bandages and peroxide before carefully cleaning the wounds on and between the swollen knuckles of his right hand. Once all the grime and half-formed scabs were tended to, she wrapped a neat layer of gauze across his knuckles and secured it.
"You're pretty good at that." Mark's voice was tinted with admiration.
"Yeah, well, you know…" Molly smiled, still looking down as she finished wrapping up his hand. "I've had lots of practice."
She finished up, then returned all of the first aid supplies under the sink., throwing the bandage wrappers in the trash.
"I kinda lost it for a bit when I got back," Mark admitted sheepishly.
"I can see that," Molly replied.
"And a little bit when that lady was giving me shit."
"I saw that too."
"Molly?"
"Yeah?" She looked up after throwing the last bandage wrapper away and closing the cabinet door beneath the sink. She saw Mark standing awkwardly, his eyes glistening with a new look.
Shame. Embarrassment. Fear.
"Molly, I'm really sorry. I just…I don't know what…"
"Shhhh….." Molly stepped in to rub his chest and lean against him. "There's nothing to be sorry about. Just a really bad day."
She heard him clear his throat and try to swallow his emotion.
"Nobody's mad at you. Nobody's disappointed in you. We all just want to be there for you, okay?" She looked up at him, hooking her hands up and over his broad shoulders. He smiled stoically and nodded.
"Okay. Thanks, Molly. I'm really glad you came."
"Me too, honey." She stretched up to kiss him. He kissed back.
"Sorry about the accommodations and stuff. Not a lot to do in here."
"That's okay," she said brightly. "We had Megan's dinner, we got you cleaned up. We're on our way."
"Yeah."
Molly laid her face against his chest, rubbing his torso with the flats of her palms until she felt some tension release from his muscles.
"You want me to make you feel good?" She said into his chest.
Mark laughed, the vulnerability of a few moments ago fading from his voice. "Yeah. Obviously."
Molly grinned, then pointed to the small chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat…"
Mark made his way to the chair and flopped down, exhausted. Molly sauntered up and nudged his knees apart, kneeling between them and pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She wordlessly unbuttoned the fly of his fatigues and reached into his boxers, retrieving the ample fistful of his cock and setting it down in the open air. She looked up at him and smiled, running her fingertips up and down his length as he took a deep breath and began to relax.
Molly's smile slowly faded and her face took on the amorous gravity of her task. She gripped his now-stiffening cock at its base, stretched upward to give him a deep kiss on the mouth with a sensual sweep of her tongue, then knelt back down and bent over to take him into her mouth.
Mark's breathing began to even out, roughly matching the slow bob of Molly's red hair over his crotch. The sweet, warm welcome of her mouth provided him a comfort and intimacy he sorely needed, but could not articulate. She seemed to relish the opportunity to meet his needs, stopping only occasionally to kiss and lick him, but focused mainly on maximizing the moist friction between his cock and the inside of her lips, tongue, and cheeks.
She felt his body sink into deeper relaxation, and she smiled–only within herself of course, as she was unable to extend her lips beyond the tight stretch required to snuggle her lover's manhood. She began to purr gently, not sensing a building of arousal on his part, but rather a gradual easing into a zen-like state. Sitting quietly in shared intimacy with a lover.
She paused after a moment, looking up at him. "How am I doing?"
"Good…" Mark mumbled with glassy eyes.
"Do you want me to keep going? Do something else? What's good for you?"
"This is good…" Mark mumbled again. "Take your top off, maybe. Wanna see you."
Molly smiled, pleased that her ministrations had lulled him into that level of relaxation. She cheerfully leaned back and pulled the hem of her shirt up until the garment dropped her bright red ponytail out of the collar. Dropping it behind her, she winked up at her lover as she reached behind her back and unclipped her brassiere, letting it slump off her shoulders and fall limp across her kneeling thighs.
Mark absently began to cup and pinch her small breasts and pink nipples as she leaned forward to give him all the head he wanted.
The two were comfortably settled in their complementary postures, Mark seated in a chair, leaning back slightly while the young wife and mother kneeled in front of him and lovingly attended to his physical needs.
The joint meditation went on for a few more moments when three hard, metallic slaps on the door jarred them both out of their stupor.
"Shit…" Mark stood up, scrambling to tuck his large, hard member back into his pants.
Molly, too, shot upward, instinctively covering her naked breasts with her hands and looking desperately around at the empty room.
"Just a sec…" Mark bellowed toward the door, then hastily turned to Molly.
"Closet."
Mark whispered it urgently.
Molly nodded and darted back and into the closet, quietly shutting the door behind her.
Mark finished buttoning his fly, tucking his member off to one side.
Still visible, but not as much.
"All right, come in."
The door squeaked open and Jared walked in, wearing the sergeant-of-the-guard belt, armed and coiffed for duty.
"Hey man. How you holding up?"
Mark grinned. "Oh, shit man…I'm glad it's you."
Jared looked down, indicating toward the woman's shirt and brassiere still lying on the floor in front of the chair.
"Where'd you hide her?"
Mark grinned awkwardly.
"Molly, it's Jared," Jared said loudly into the air. "Are you in the closet?"
Silence. Then, a humiliated female voice seeped through the wooden door on the side of the sink.
"No…"
Mark and Jared laughed out loud.
"Want me to bring you your shirt?"
The door opened slightly and her green eyes peeked through. "Can I come out?"
Jared motioned her over, and she came out, wearing a large green undershirt she found in the closet. One of Mark's Hilariously oversized.
"Are we in trouble?" Molly asked Jared.
"Nope. Just dropped by to say the officer of the day is Lieutenant Snell."
"Fuckin' Snell? Really?"
"Yep," Jared grinned.
"Who's he?" Molly asked, confused.
"Total shitbag," Mark said confidently "He never makes the rounds, and usually sleeps through the night shift entirely. So no one's coming by tonight."
"Except me, obviously," Jared clarified. "You two can rest easy. Just be ready to slip out a little before 0500. That's when the staff and officers start getting in."
Mark nodded. "Sounds good. And seriously man, thanks. I really appreciate this. I was feeling…kinda fucked up after that whole thing. It's good to have my girl here." He reached around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. She blushed deeply.
Jared grinned again. "Glad we could pull it off. Arnie's on your door until 0500, so let him know if you need anything."
"Cool. Also, tell Meg thanks. For dinner. And everything. It was great. You guys are great. Sorry if I act all shitty. Just trying to figure this shit out, you know?"
"Yeah, no problem," Jared said, extending his hand for Mark to shake. "We'll get through it, man."
Mark grasped his hand and pulled him in for a tight hug.
"You're the best, Frenchie."
Jared slapped his best friend's back, then broke the embrace. He nodded toward Molly, then grabbed the dinner bag off the desk and left, closing the door quietly behind him.
Mark turned toward Molly, his eyes bright.
"Now, where were we?"
* * *
J:
D: I'm really sorry, baby. I underestimated traffic in Buenos Aires. This is completely my fault. I will be on the next plane home, I promise.
J:...
D: I'm so sorry…nothing can prepare you for the traffic in Buenos Aires. I know that now.
J: It's okay, honey. I understand. I'm just disappointed, I've been so excited to see you! When is the next flight? Do you know yet?
D: Looks like I can get on a flight to Panama, then a connector in Houston. Should get me home a little after midnight.
J: Okay. Let me know when you know for sure and I'll come pick you up at the airport.
D: I will.
J: Excited to see you!
D: Me too!
J: 🥰
David put his phone back in the inside pocket of his sport coat just as his taxi pulled up to the car dealership a few miles from his apartment. A small smile broke across his face as he savored the little white lie that would allow him to surprise Jordan with her new car.
The taxi rolled to a stop in front of the sales office and David stepped out, hauling his carryon bag out behind him. He reached through the window and paid the driver, including a generous tip, then stood up straight and adjusted his tie.
"Showtime…"
David had grown up around car lots, and was a veteran of their game. He had already picked out the car recommended by her mother, a brand new light blue Toyota Rav-4. Sporty, yet feminine. It had all sorts of extras–seat warmers, a great sound system, backup and side cameras, and he even negotiated some fancy black rims that matched the tires and accented the color of the body quite attractively.
Now all that was left was to mindfuck the salesman into dropping the price another thousand or so.
He didn't need the discount–the entire price of the new car with the extras was still less than the sizable bonus he had received. But ratcheting down the sale price of a car just felt good. Not only because he was an accountant at heart, always looking to trim expenses and increase efficiency, but also because he had spent his youth watching his morally reprobate father screwing over vulnerable customers in order to move junk cars off his lot and put dirty money into his wallet.
The thought of sticking it to a dealership was, indirectly, a way to fuck his dad over.
Which felt good.
He walked through the door to the sales floor with the goal of knocking $2000 off the final price. He ended up getting the discount up to $3500 when, defeated, they handed him the keys.
David knew their margins and tactics, and he knew just how to smile and take the same pressure they put on him and throw it right back on their shoulders. Once they were squirming, he made a counter offer, and it was accepted.
They were even more floored when he waved away the financing documents and simply pulled out his checkbook. Not a lot of young men in their mid twenties could do that.
He thoroughly inspected the new sporty vehicle inside and out before signing the final papers and receiving the title. Once he was satisfied, he flipped his carryon into the back storage area and waved to the humiliated salesman as he slipped into the drivers side of the car and left the lot.
He parked in a guest parking space, a few spots away from their old Camry, parked in their usual spot. Jordan was home–not surprising on a Friday afternoon. Whistling, David walked into the building and made his way to their apartment. He fumbled with his keys, then, thinking better of it, decided to knock on the door instead. A better surprise if she opened the door to find him.
He knocked, then placed his index finger over the peephole, hearing footsteps pad tentatively toward the door. He heard his wife lean up to look through the peephole, and, not seeing anything, carefully opened the door and looked through the crack. The chain latch was still on–a woman living alone couldn't be too careful. He stepped out of the line of sight so she couldn't see her.
"Ummm…hello?"
David pitched his voice up to mask his identity. "Good afternoon miss. We're Jehovah's Witnesses. Would you like to hear about God's good news for the world?"
Jordan wasn't fooled. She squealed in delight, slamming the door and fumbling to unhook the chain latch before throwing open the door and lunging at her husband. She threw her hands around his neck and squealed again, right in his ear, hopping about for a moment before kissing him wildly up and down both cheeks. Finally she settled into a nice, deep, wet kiss, holding his body close to hers, then pushed him playfully back against the opposite side of the hall outside their apartment.
"You punk! You said you weren't going to be here until midnight! Oh, I'm so mad at you!"
David grinned. Jordan's giggles and delighted smile gave the clear lie to her outrage.
"Sorry, honey. I just wanted to surprise you. Is that okay?"
"Is that okay? Baby, anything that gets you home to me is great…" She leaned in and kissed him deeply again.
David felt relief spread through his body. Jordan's touch had an incredible capacity to emotionally feed him. He hadn't realized quite how drained he was after yet another intense three weeks of work in foreign countries.
He broke the embrace and walked through the door, swinging his carryon jauntily over his back.
"Soooo good to be home!" He moaned loudly, elated.
He heard Jordan close the door behind them as he headed back to the bedroom to put his bag away and sort his clothes for the laundry.
"No wait…" David heard Jordan squeak out an objection as he turned the doorknob and walked in.
The room was disheveled. The top dresser drawer was open, Jordan's full length mirror was askew, and the bed unmade. Jordan's laptop was open facing toward the pillow, the screen not visible from where David stood. But about two feet to the right of the laptop, coated with moisture and glistening in reflected light on the nightstand lay a prosthetic penis.
It was long. Pretty thick. Tan. Circumcised. A slight bow in the shaft drew the eye to the prosthetic scrotum and a prominent suction cup at the base.
David turned around to look at Jordan, finding her cringing painfully.
"Are you mad?"
David stood in bewildered silence for a moment, then walked over to the laptop and turned it around. On the screen was a paused video: a naked young woman, bound in some decorative colored rope with her arms behind her, desperately sucking on a dildo. A dildo not entirely unlike the one currently in repose on his nightstand. He looked over at his wife again, who was now crossing her arms across her chest and looking down at the floor, blushing.
"I'm sorry honey…" she explained. "I know we have a deal, but I was just trying it out…and I thought you were on the plane, and I thought you were going to be late, and I got a little impatient thinking about you, and…"
David cut her off by lunging at her with more ferocity than she had when she lunged at him earlier. Her surprise dwarfed his, at least in his mind, and his mind was exploding in all the possibilities of his wife utilizing that…
After kissing her passionately for a few moments, he stopped himself. He had forgotten the real surprise.
David took Jordan's hand and headed down the hall to their living room.
"Come with me."
"Baby, we can talk this out, I'm really sorry. Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed, I just…"
"I'm not mad, Jordan. Really." David turned around to reassure her.
Jordan looked surprised, then her face softened into a shy smile.
"Really?"
"Really! No, why would I be mad? God Jordan, you're so, so, so, so hot!" David grunted.
Jordan looked down and blushed, looking shyly up at him again after the delighted shock of embarrassment passed.
"Thank you baby…" she said with a shy grin, twisting her torso playfully back and forth like an impatient schoolgirl.
"Get your shoes on, honey. We're going outside for a minute. I want to show you something."
"Umm…okay…"
She was dressed in casual wear for an autumn day: sweatpants and a hoodie.
Wardrobe choices which were probably useful in facilitating her earlier solitary activities, David thought to himself.
Jordan shuffled uncertainly to the shoe rack and slipped on some loosely tied tennis shoes. David opened the door and led her outside.
When they reached the parking lot, David turned to his wife, beaming. "It's for you, baby. A little gift to show you I care."
"What's for me? I don't know what…"
David pointed to the new Rav-4 with the dealer's plates on them. "I got a bonus. Your mom said this was the car you wanted in high school but they couldn't afford it. I got it for you."
Jordan's mouth dropped open. She looked at the new car, then her husband, then the car again.
"Baby…are you serious?"
"Yes, I am."
She walked forward and put her hand on the hood, still in shock.
"David…baby, this is so much money. Is this new? Like brand new?"
"Yep."
"Baby, you should have talked to me about this…what kind of loan did you…"
"Paid cash. I got a bonus for my audit in Los Angeles. It was big. I wrote a check. After I haggled them down, of course."
Jordan's eyes bugged out. She put her hand over her mouth. "Are you serious?"
David nodded proudly, loosening his tie in a playful gesture. "You like it?"
Jordan's mouth hung open, still speechless. She turned to look over the car once more, then back at her husband.
"David…I don't know what to say. I love it."
David's grin got wider. "Good. Glad to hear it."
Jordan ran up and threw her arms around him, holding their bodies close together for an extended period. David fished the keys to the vehicle out of his pocket, and dangled them over his shoulder, in front of his face.
"All yours, Jojo. You deserve it."
She squealed in his ear and broke the embrace, grabbing the keys and running to open the door. David excitedly walked her through all the features, stopping to grin at her every time she felt the need to do a little dance to let her excitement out.
After the tour, Jordan threw her arms around him again and began kissing him excitedly. In between her urgent displays of affection, David smiled at her again:
"So, you like it? I did good?"
"Good…baby, so good. You did so good…"
David's heart sang, seeing the look of pure excitement on his wife's face, inches from his.
God, she was beautiful. Even in Friday afternoon sweatpants–she just glowed.
She kissed him deeply one more time, grasping his hand and leading him urgently back into their apartment building.
"Get in here, mister. That thing you saw earlier…I'm gonna put that thing away…we're definitely not going to need it now…"
* * *
Tucked tightly in the embrace of her lover, Molly wiggled her body to drape her leg over Mark's waist, leaning into his large, slumbering frame. She awkwardly pulled the blanket higher until it covered her bare shoulders.
She wasn't accustomed to falling asleep in a space like this.
The windowless brick and cement quarters where her boyfriend lived were dark and quiet, but also felt hollow and cold.
Had her visit been planned, Mark likely would have tried to alter his sleeping arrangements to accommodate her. But Molly was determined to make it work as the two of them clutched each other on his twin bed, the configuration precarious for both of them. It was tight. Molly, at least, had the blank brick wall at her back, holding her in place, but Mark's long left leg threatened to tumble out of bed at any minute, with the rest of him following.
Luckily, that hadn't happened. Luckily, he was sound asleep. After Jared had left them alone, she had lovingly continued to suck on him until he asked her to fuck. She had shed her pants and panties and climbed onto his lap on the chair, stifling the exhalations of her own pleasure as she gave herself to him to use. Thoroughly stimulated by her mouth, and clearly exhausted by the day, Mark had sat still for the most part while she bobbed and bucked in slow, gentle motions, giving him soft, gentle kisses until his breathing thinned into a rasp and his cock spurted thick, copious warmth into her body.
She had settled him in bed, and tried to lay down beside him before finding that his blanket was not big enough for the two of them. He floated the idea of unzipping his sleeping bag for old time's sake–reminding them of their first sexual encounters on the beach–but finally exchanged a few hushed words with his door guard. The guard had made some subtle gestures to the other marines in adjacent barracks rooms, who quickly produced another, larger blanket from somewhere. Mark had settled sleepily into bed again and Molly had joined him, covering them both with the shared blankets.
Now spent, Mark's breathing settled into a steady rhythm, his large body finally fully relaxed. Molly's head rose and fell gently with his breath.
This time was definitely different. As she had ridden his hard cock, the familiar pleasure of his body filled hers, but she couldn't build toward a climax of her own.
Maybe it was the austerity of her surroundings. Being surrounded by blank brick and concrete, sleeping in a single bed on a government issue mattress.
Locked in a room with no windows.
It just wasn't very sexy.
Actually, the unusual absence of a powerful orgasm drew her attention to a striking contrast in the two relationships she found herself juggling.
She was, after all, actually quite accustomed to sex without orgasm. But that sex was always with her husband, Chris. An utterly selfish lover with a shrimpy little penis. Although he had become more attentive in the last year. He definitely tried harder now, likely aware of the overwhelming strength of his competition in bed.
In clear contrast, Molly had never coupled with Mark without coming. Hard. So it was strange that she didn't this time.
Perhaps she was taking on his stress. Perhaps she was just overly concerned with the acute mental crisis he was dealing with, and, as a result of focusing overly on him, had not been able to relax sufficiently to focus enough on her own feelings.
Whatever the reason, she noticed it. The first time having sex with her dream lover where she remained unfulfilled.
It likely had something to do with the outbursts. The mental breakdown he seemed on the edge of when he was triggered. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but something had changed in her view of him today. When he had snapped in the courtroom. When she had found traces of blood from his knuckles on the wall.
It was scary.
He was a large, strong man. Trained to kill. A man who had killed–she was fairly sure. Granted, that didn't make him a murderer, or even dangerous on his own. The nature of combat changes the moral evaluation of killing. She knew that. And since he had returned from the combat zone, she had felt intense admiration for his known–not merely vaunted–heroism among his peers.
But today she had seen the dark side of it. The wild, uncontrolled rage that his enemies likely saw before he pulled the trigger. Or snapped their necks. Or beat them to death with his bare hands.
However it had happened. Over there.
She wanted to tell herself that such rage would only ever be used in her defense. Never against her.
But she had worked in an emergency room too long not to be a little wary. She had seen young women that looked like her lying to her about bruises on their bodies. She had set broken bones that were most certainly not the result of a clumsy fall. Or a misunderstanding. And she had had to feign credulity when these young mothers explained away the bruises on their children.
Molly forced the thought away from herself. That wasn't Mark. It just wasn't.
But what she saw in the courtroom…the wild eyes…the armrest ripped off the chair…the young woman tumbling backward in fear…
That wasn't Mark either.
But there it was. Right in front of her eyes.
Molly's phone buzzed on the small metallic nightstand next to Mark's bed. She reached over her lover's chest and picked it up.
Mark didn't move, still deep in sleep.
A text message from her husband.
C: Hey. Haven't heard from you. Everything okay?
M: Yeah, sorry. A lot of stuff went down, and it didn't go well. I spent the day with him.
C: Are you with him now?
M: Yes. Staying the night. I'll drive back early tomorrow.
C: OK.
M: Everything okay?
C: Yeah, everything's fine. Lucy's jump-start math class is doing algebra now. She's in a whole new world. You should've seen her. She's loving this.
Molly smiled to herself in the dark.
M: Sorry I missed that. Lucy loving math, I mean. Just like her dad.
C: Just like her mom, too.
Molly smiled again.
M: Yeah, I guess you're right. Max okay?
C: Fine. Finished his Lego model of a star destroyer. So he's happy. They're both asleep now, obviously.
M: Good.
C: So, you and Mark get up to anything?
M: I mean, we had sex. But we always do.
C: Was it good?
Molly huffed, then typed a response, irritated.
M: It's never bad, Chris. I know this is a thing you get off on, but I don't want to turn this into a porno tonight. Mark had a really bad day.
C: Oh. Yeah, I guess you mentioned that. I'm sorry, Mol. I'll back off.
M: It's okay. Just not in the mood to push your buttons right now.
C: OK. Did you make a decision about JH yet?
Molly paused.
M: No, I haven't thought much about it. I guess we should talk about it. You really want to move to Baltimore?
C: I'll move anywhere you want, Mol. Just proud of you.
Molly allowed herself a quick smile, then hesitated before answering.
M: I don't know if we can afford it. I can't keep working if I'm doing full time medical school. It's too much. And you don't have any job prospects in Baltimore. Seems risky.
C: My software's got a bidding war going over it right now. Most of the deals have me staying on as a design and implementation consultant for at least a year, plus the sale price. I'll probably be involved for longer. Maybe 3 years. Or 5. I think we can make it work if you want to do it.
M: Is it a sure thing?
C: Not yet, but honestly, it's way closer than anything I've done before. I've talked to some real-world financial guys who looked over the offers. They all seem to think it's a lock.
M: When will you know?
C: Couple weeks. When do you have to respond to Johns Hopkins?
M: A month.
C: Well, maybe we can talk about it again when I know more.
M: Yeah, probably. I'm just scared, Chris. To start a new thing. I mean, being a mom and full time in medical school?
C: People do it, Mol. And if you want it, you should go for it.
Molly smiled in the dark again.
M: Who are you and what have you done with my surly husband? You're starting to sound like you did when we were dating. Still an arrogant prick but…like…you care about me.
C: I do care, Mol. I've been a prick, but I want to be better.
M: Well, I'm not going to say no to any of that.
C: To that end, I found a couple marriage counselors…if you want to try again. No pressure, just figured I'd tell you I'm willing if you are.
Molly hesitated.
M: This is a weird conversation to have when I'm in bed with another man.
C: Yeah, but you know I love those conversations.
M: God, you're weird.
C: Yeah.
C: …
C: So what do you say?
M: I guess I'll try again. I'll hand it to you, Chris, you've really been trying hard. We can try counseling again. See what happens.
C: Great. I'll set it up. And have fun with Mark.
M: Fine, perv.
M: Chris?
C: What's up?
M: Thanks for supporting me. With the whole med school application and stuff. I know we're not where either of us want to be now, marriage wise. But it means a lot. Your support, I mean. Whatever happens with us, I just want you to know that.
C: I'm glad it helps. And I'll keep trying to help.
M: OK.
C: Goodnight, Mol.
M: Night.
M: You want me to throw you a bone?
C: What?
M: I could wake up Mark and fuck him for you right now. Would that make you excited?
C: God yes…seriously?
M: Yeah, I could use another round with a real man. You got your little guy out?
C: Yes. Holy shit.
M: OK. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Right now I'm gonna fuck my boyfriend. You can play with your little dick thinking about it. Night, hubby.
C: OMG…I love you Molly…
Molly set her phone down and looked at Mark's sleeping face. His eyes were twitching, clearly in REM. But no sweating, no twitching, no heavy breathing or weird sounds. No clear signs of nightmares. She gently rubbed his muscular chest with the palm of her hand, then nestled back into the crook of his arm and slowly settled into sleep herself.
* * *
Jordan couldn't sleep.
She reached over to her nightstand to check the time on her phone.
11:34. Not even midnight.
As of 12 hours ago, she hadn't even expected to have David home by now.
He said after midnight…
But then he surprised her. It was delightful to find him at the door–the exciting cocktail of shock, relief, and excitement all mixed when she realized her husband was home. Even if he had interrupted her in the middle of...
And the extent of David's surprise still had her reeling. She still couldn't believe she had a new car. She hadn't even driven it yet!
Although, after she had dragged David into the apartment and jumped his bones, he had insisted they go out and look at it together again. He walked her through all the features again, and she had been bewildered at the sight of an odometer with 7 miles on it. She'd never seen anything like that before. She had never driven a new car before. And David had picked out the exact model she wanted. And in a color she loved, too!
She was flushed with excitement, moved to overwhelm by the gesture and generosity. She had even soberly asked David if they really could afford it. Ever the careful money manager, David had shown her the spreadsheet of their current finances, with assets spread across three income streams, with David's two incomes each dwarfing hers, with a total balance of…
More money than she had ever seen in one place before. A lot more.
Her mouth had gaped, knowing that more was to come each month. As they lived quite frugally–the recent car purchase aside–that number would continue to go up. David's business was doing very well. David's job had an impressive salary. And the bonuses that David had told her not to count on were already arriving in their bank account. And reaching seven figures.
It was a lot to take in. And it was clear from the look on his face that David's love language of providing for her was reaching the full breadth of expression. So she bracketed her shock…knowing that the right response to such a grand gesture was to gush out her appreciation and admiration to her beaming husband.
That appreciation led to another hasty trip back to the bedroom, where she had seated him on the edge of the bed and sucked his penis. He had thrown his head back with a huge smile on his face that filled Jordan's heart with glee.
It didn't take long before the hint of semen dripped onto her tongue. She had looked up into his eyes as his hips twitched, pulling his modest member out of her mouth and treating him to a wide smile. He had reciprocated her efforts, pulling her bottoms and panties off and nuzzling affectionately between her legs until she treated him to a mild but sensual climax of her own.
They had ordered takeout and watched a few episodes of Farscape before David's head had drooped with jet lag. She had nudged him awake and led him back to bed, turning off the lights as she went.
After settling him in bed, she had removed all her clothes and mounted him, hoping to wake him for more sex. Rubbing sensually up and down his short length, she reveled in the sensual warmth of intimate connection with her husband. He didn't wake up, however, and she soon gave up and snuggled up next to him.
She loved to feel his body in bed with her. She loved this man more than anything in the world. And the bed had been empty for too long–another three week stretch of loneliness and sexual deprivation.
Yet here she lay in the darkness, unable to sleep. She was afraid to feel what she was definitely feeling. She was afraid to admit the thoughts she was actively avoiding. But David's generosity had sparked some emotions in Jordan that she didn't know how to deal with.
On the one hand, the obvious expression of love and caring, the desire to provide her with everything she needed and wanted was a beautiful gesture spoken loudly in her husband's love language.
I have provided for you. I love you.
On the other hand…it was too much. It signaled something in their relationship that threatened her. She wasn't quite sure what it was.
The generosity, the talent, skill, and hard work that led to David amassing enough resources for this gift…all of those things were wonderful. And immensely attractive to her.
That was it. Attractive. She had been surprised by being attracted to David?
No, that wasn't it. But something like that.
Maybe a new dimension of attraction.
Jordan took a moment to think it through. She loved David because he was such an obvious fit for her. He was handsome in a nerdy sort of way. He was sweet, generous, hardworking. He was fiercely devoted to her, and supportive of her. He took firm control of his own life, success, and opportunities. And in his way, he was a very strong man. Tough. Smart. Even ruthless when it came to negotiating–as apparently (he couldn't help bragging) he had gotten a deal on the car.
In a word, David was a successful man. And given his talents and affinity for hard work, he seemed likely to be more successful in the future.
Jordan couldn't identify why a pang of panic hit her stomach as she thought of David as a successful man.
He would likely be a rich man. He was well on his way.
The panic grew.
Money rots things. Relationships. The love of money is the root of evil. It is easier for a camel to squeeze through a needle's eye than for a rich man to enter heaven.
Tropes of her childhood. Still believed.
Of course David could manage wealth, Jordan hastened to reassure herself. It was a primary skill of his. And his heart was good. And he was faithful to a fault. Look how much good he had done in Hamad and Aisha's life. How generous he was in giving ownership stakes to people he easily could have exploited as employees. He was good to the core. There was no reason to suspect his integrity would degenerate into corruption. He wouldn't let money, or anything, rot their relationship.
Except…
He had told her that he wanted her to have her own sexual "space." Space in her sex life which didn't include him.
Isn't it only natural that she, too, should allow space in his sex life which didn't include her?
The stab of panic turned the blade in her stomach. Jordan saw dimly into the future as her husband's business grew. As he became more of a player in global logistics. She imagined him being promoted into powerful executive positions. His clothes would get nicer. Fancy cars. A nice house. Maybe big-city condos.
Women would notice him. How could they not? A rich wunderkind, shaking up world-economic supply chains and watching money rain down around him. His easy smile when he was relaxed. His cute laugh. His jokes–he could be really funny.
Other women. Women with perfect bodies and big boobs and sophisticated pedigrees would begin to see him as a catch. Women with vast sexual experience, skilled in the art of allure.
And here she would be. A skinny, auburn haired pastor's daughter eking out a living as an assistant professor of psychology at some third-rate college?
She would age. The list of women who wanted to be with a smart, successful man–her man–would always include younger competitors.
She imagined one. A young blonde with D cups in a halter top. She probably had an impressive extracurricular resume too…something she couldn't compete with…maybe an olympic pole vaulter and New York economist. This younger, more attractive, more impressive hypothetical woman would talk about finance with David. The conversation would be easy and free flowing. She would laugh at his jokes. They would get a drink sometime when David didn't have his boring wife hanging around him.
And David was traveling for business now. A lot.
Jordan now found herself chewing her nails. She hadn't done that since junior high school.
The cuckold thing–maybe it was a real fantasy that David enjoyed now. But how could it not evolve? If she actually went through with it again…if she started seeing other men while David was away, why in the world wouldn't he see other women when he was away? Hot young secretaries, eager to please…
Jordan's heart raced.
She couldn't compete. She didn't have the body…she didn't have the personality…she didn't have the sexual "moves" that she was sure these other women had.
Jordan paused and took a deep breath. This level of panic was irrational. She was catastrophizing. An expert in human psychology, she was well aware of the signs of irrational anxiety, and she had some idea of how to keep herself from spiraling.
But the new facts were troubling. She had never encountered a threat to her marriage before.
She rolled on her side to face her sleeping husband, and pinched his member between her thumb and two fingers. She rolled it, then caressed it, causing David to moan out in sleepy confusion. He woke up, groggy, just as she straddled him again and tried to direct his half-stiff penis into her body.
"What's up, Jo? You okay?"
He wasn't hard enough. She pinched it closer to the tip, and then attempted to sit down on it, but it wouldn't go in, nestling inertly between her folds.
She rocked her hips back and forth in the dark, resting her palms on David's chest.
"Baby…wake up…I need you…" she whispered urgently.
David's eyes were bleary. "I love it baby…but you wore me out earlier. Not sure what I got left right now. Kinda tired after my flight."
He looked up at her in the dark. She was naked, he could see that in her outline, and he could feel her naked womanhood, soft and furry, grinding gently back and forth on top of him. But he couldn't see her face.
"Tell me you love me, baby."
David squinted in surprise. "I love you, Jo. You know that."
"Please, honey?"
He heard the choke of a sob in her plea. He sat up quickly and tried to look into her eyes.
It was too dark. He reached over to turn on the lamp, and saw tears streaking down his wife's face.
"Jordan…honey…what's the matter?"
She wouldn't look at him. She put her hand over her face to block the sight of her tears.
"Please David."
He grabbed her shoulders and tilted his head to try and catch her eyes as they looked away.
"Jordan. I love you. I love you more than anything! Just tell me what's the matter…"
She sniffled and looked back at him.
"Say it again?"
David half smiled nervously.
"Jordan Stark-Simms. I. Love. You. You are everything to me."
She sniffled again. "Okay. Thanks."
David's smile widened. "Where is this coming from? Did you have a bad dream?"
She shook her head and wiped her face with the back of her hand.
"No. I just really miss you when you're gone." She sniffled one more time.
"I miss you too, baby. Where is this coming from?"
"I just want to make sure you have enough. Because we don't see each other as much."
"Enough what?"
Jordan bucked her hips gently, drawing attention to their intimate touching.
"Oh, that…" David laughed. "Believe me, baby. You take care of me so good…"
Jordan half smiled, trying not to blubber. "You'll tell me if you need more?"
"Honestly, baby. I can't imagine wanting more than we have."
"Promise me you'll tell me if you want more from me." Jordan's face was serious. Pleading.
"Okay, Jo. I promise. I won't though. You're my own…personal…goddess. I get everything I want and need from you."
A final sniffle. A final tear wipe.
"Okay. Remember you promised."
David looked slowly up and down at her lithe, naked body perched on top of his. He turned his attention downward and felt the soft down of her pubic hair and the warm, moist skin of her vagina cradling his manhood. He felt himself stir between her legs.
"Hey baby. I think I'm waking up. I think I'd like some more."
Jordan's half smile broke into a grin, the tear tracks still lightly visible on her cheeks.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I think so…"
"Okay. Good."
* * *
An uncanny whine jarred Molly out of her sleep.
It was an awkward, uncomfortable sleep on a narrow twin mattress. Crammed between the large, dense body of her boyfriend and the blank brick wall.
Her eyes were fixed open, staring out over the vague landscape of a blanket stretched over Mark's chest. She had been up for some time, worrying about him. And about her future with him. Uncertainty about his mental health. About the effect this bullshit legal trouble was having on an already acute anxiety condition.
But eventually, after worrying her way into deep fatigue, she had been able to drift off. But her sleep remained troubled.
Now she blinked in the dark, confused by the sound that woke her.
She had trouble seeing Mark's face in the blank darkness of his barracks room, but she could feel the periodic twitching of his arms.
Still fuzzy from waking suddenly, she became aware that, with his arm wrapped around her body, his hand was squeezing her shoulder.
Hard.
Harder than she'd ever felt his touch before.
She heard the whine again. Nasal. It was him. Crying out.
Grimacing at the pain in her shoulder, she gently tapped on his chest and whispered to him.
"Mark. Wake up, honey. You're here with me…wake up…"
The whine quickly dropped its pitch, landing and transforming into a pained groan. The pressure on her shoulder lessened. Molly reached over and turned on the lamp next to his bed. Then she propped herself up, rubbing his arms and chest.
"It's okay, Mark. It's Molly. You're with me…"
His eyes opened slowly, a disorienting fuzz apparent in the rapid shift of his pupils.
Suddenly Molly heard a metallic scratch and a fumbling sound.
Keys making their way into the doorknob.
Molly yelped and pulled the covers over her head, hiding.
Suddenly aware of an intruder, but still not fully oriented, Mark shot out of bed and bolted to brace the door. A struggle ensued, Mark violently throwing his huge shoulder against the door over and over, a loud metallic thwack ringing out each time until an urgent whisper floated through the door.
"Sarge! I'm just making sure you're okay. I heard some weird noises…"
Molly peeked above the blanket.
"Honey. It's your friend. Arnold, I think? It's okay. He's okay."
She began to see Mark slowly orienting to his surroundings. Eventually he relaxed, then stepped away from the door.
It opened tentatively, and Corporal Arnold peeked in.
"Shit. What's the matter, Sarge? Seriously…"
"I don't know man. Sorry. Don't know what came over me. I'm fine, though. I just…hang on, I gotta piss."
He stumbled back toward his bathroom as Arnold stepped into the room.
Molly cautiously sat up, clutching her blanket up to hide her naked body from this stranger.
Arnold nodded awkwardly toward her. "I'm sorry to bother…I just heard…you know..."
Molly nodded in understanding. "He's okay. He just had a nightmare. Sometimes he makes noises. But he's okay."
"Okay. Good. I just want to talk to him to make sure. Sorry, it's just my job. I'll be out of here in no time. Don't mind me…"
He was clearly trying to avoid looking at the fit young woman, clearly naked underneath the single blanket she clutched around her.
"No, I know you have your duty…" Molly offered. "What was your name again? Arnold?"
"Yeah. It's my last name though. And you're Molly?"
She nodded.
"Pleased to meet you, Molly. Like, officially. I know you kinda slipped by earlier…"
Molly nodded again. "The nightmares…I think…I know you guys don't get treatment for mental health, but is there any way…?"
Arnold shook his head. "Nope. Career killer. But Sarge'll get past it. He's the toughest man I've ever met. Don't worry about him, he'll power through."
"It's not about tough…" Molly muttered through a pained smile, but knew the conversation wasn't going anywhere.
They heard the toilet flush from the bathroom, and Mark walked out in his boxer shorts. Arnold straightened up as he approached.
"You good Sarge? I just gotta check."
"Not Sarge anymore, Arnie. And yeah, I'm alright." He turned around to look at Molly. "Bout to get real good, actually. You're probably gonna hear some more noises. Be a bro, and don't come in."
Molly blushed and pulled the blanket up over her face. Arnold laughed out loud.
"Alright sarge. I'm out."
He slipped out the door, and Mark pushed it closed behind him. With one hand still on the door, he turned around and looked at Molly.
"Alright, little lady. If I'm gonna be up in the middle of the night, I want pussy. Spread 'em."
Molly curled up her body defensively, giggling in surprise. He usually wasn't frisky after she woke him up from nightmares…but he usually just went right back to sleep. Maybe it was different when he got up and walked around…"
Her train of thought was interrupted by Mark walking over to the bed, grabbing her feet under the blanket and pulling her body aggressively toward his, laying perpendicular on the bed with her legs extending over the edge.
She squealed as he flipped the blanket up over her head, lewdly exposing her bare cleft to the lamplight. He pulled her knees up and apart as she protested, pulling the blanket off her face.
"Wait. Mark…"
He stopped moving and looked down at her.
"I need a minute, and I need to know you're okay?"
"I'm fine. Just want this." He gave a playful tap between her legs.
"Are you sure?" She was still uneasy.
"Yeah, no, I'm good. I woke up. It's gone. But then I found you here. And now I want your pussy. Why…am I not allowed to have it?" Mark furrowed his brow, confused.
"No, honey. You can…you can always have it. God, take it. But I still need a minute I can't just…go like that."
Mark squatted down at the edge of the bed and began kissing her thighs. "Can I taste it?"
Molly smiled, blushing. "Yeah…"
"Good. I'm gonna taste it. I'm gonna get it nice and wet. And then I'm gonna fuck it full of cum."
"Okay…" Molly sighed as his tongue found her cleft, shocked at the sudden turn of tone in the room.
"Tell me you want it."
She moaned in the dim lamp light.
"God, I want it…"
* * *
Jordan woke up to the smell of bacon and fresh coffee.
David was home!
She had become so accustomed to waking up alone, it was still a surprise to wake up with her husband in the house. She smiled excitedly and hopped out of bed, pulling sweatpants and a plain tank top over her naked body.
She trotted to the kitchen to see the love of her life cooking breakfast for her. He turned and smiled at her. Her heart glowed.
"Good morning, Jo."
She darted forward and threw her arms around his neck, giving him a wet kiss on the cheek. David set down the spatula and turned to squeeze her back, leaning in for a kiss on the lips.
"Mmmmm…" Jordan said, turning away. "Morning breath…don't smell my morning breath!"
David laughed. "I don't care about that…"
"Nonono!" Jordan darted down the hall into the bathroom and hastily gargled mouthwash. After quickly putting it back in the cabinet, she darted back to the kitchen, threw her arms around David's neck again and kissed him deeply with tongue.
"Mmmmm…. I like that…" David purred into her grin.
"That's good. Because I. Love. You." She punctuated each of the last words with an affectionate peck on the lips, then followed it with another deep kiss.
"Eggs Benedict?"
"Baby! You treat me so good!" Jordan cooed, reaching for dishes to set the table.
"So what do you want to do today?" David called out as she arranged the table setting.
"I'm easy. I had no real plans. But we probably ought to take a ride in my brand new car, don't you think?"
"Yeah, that sounds fun," David replied. "Anywhere in particular?"
"I thought maybe hike the falls? It's a nice day, and we haven't done that since you got your new job."
"Sounds great," David said, carrying the hot food over to the table and plating it.
Jordan poured coffee, then got juice out of the fridge to pour into glasses. "I figured we could catch up, see some beautiful nature, hold hands, maybe kiss a little bit, and then we can slip into the bushes somewhere and I can suck that hog of yours."
David snorted. "What has gotten into you? Are you serious?"
"I'm so serious, baby…" She stopped pouring and locked eyes with her husband. "I'm so freaking horny today, you have no idea."
David shrugged, flabbergasted. "Well, I'm not gonna turn that down."
"Darn right you're not, mister. Not when my engine's this hot. I may need to drag you to bed after we eat here. Take the edge off before we get dressed and go."
David beamed as he blushed. They sat down and said grace, then began eating.
David spoke first. "Seriously, Jo. What's gotten into you?"
"I don't know!" she emoted. "I guess I just really, really missed you. I'm all pent up. Need my man." She moaned in ecstasy as she ate another bite of breakfast.
David beamed again, looking down at his plate to obscure his shy, involuntary grin.
Jordan actually had some idea what had gotten into her. After last night, when she had spurred a second round of sex with her desperate display of moral insecurity, David had taken genuine delight in her body, pawing at her, groping and stroking her skin, suckling on her sensitive parts. Revving the engine of her arousal to its red line. All while she delicately mounted his stiffening penis, bucking and wiggling subtly, careful so he wouldn't slip out. Her enthusiasm had led to a powerful release for him. And given her insecure drive to satisfy him, to "be enough" for him, she had clung to his body after uncoupling, her engine still at a red line, her emotions needing the validation of a satisfied husband.
He had promptly gone to sleep again.
Jordan had steadfastly ignored the call from the girl in the mirror. She knew what would happen if she ignored her, but she would not leave David alone with his thoughts. Not when she could be there to entice him with her body. To be everything he needed.
She couldn't shake the thought: claiming her own sexual space as her own meant ceding his own sexual space to him.
And, as the catastrophizing reverie that led to that second round of sex clearly indicated, Jordan did not like what separate sexual spaces could mean for their relationship.
But ignoring the girl in the mirror had lingering physical effects. And those effects could make things weird.
"So what's up?" David interrupted her thoughts.
"Hmmm?" She looked up.
"What was that last night?"
"What was what?"
"When you woke me up last night. You were crying. While trying to get me to have sex. It…was weird."
"Oh, that." Jordan looked back down.
"Do you not want to talk about it?"
"No, we can talk about it…" Jordan said quickly. "I just…I really miss you when you're gone. And sometimes my imagination kind of runs away with me. It's stupid. I'll get over it."
David reached across the table, extending his hand to hers. "Come on, Jo. We're not together as much as we want. Let's not play games during the time we have. Something's bothering you. Let me in."
Jordan took another bite, not looking up. "It's really fine, honey. I'm just being dramatic. These eggs are fantastic, by the way."
"I'm glad you like them. And you're allowed to be dramatic. That's fine with me. Just tell me what's on your mind."
Jordan looked up, insecurity flashing in her gunbarrel blue eyes.
"It's fine, baby. Don't worry about it. I just miss you when you're gone. That's all." She smiled awkwardly.
David nodded gravely. "Okay. Well, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But when you're ready to talk…"
"You're getting rich and traveling." Jordan blurted out, then ducked down and covered her eyes with her free hand. She quickly put two more forkfuls of breakfast in her mouth and chewed quickly.
"I'm getting rich and traveling?" David asked. "Am I saying that right?"
Jordan didn't answer.
"Help me understand, Jo," David pleaded.
"Baby," Jordan said at length, "too much money…it's dangerous. It rots relationships. I'm scared for us." She didn't look up, but began gesturing with her hand, emphasizing each word.
"Money rots relationships? I don't understand…"
"It's just…dangerous to have too much. I worry that if we do too well…if you do too well, we'll drift apart. I picked a profession that I knew would give us enough money to live, but not too much. And I was fine when you drove a delivery truck."
"You want me to go back to driving the flower truck?" David asked, confused.
"No, baby. It's not that. I want you to do whatever you want to do."
"Well, I want to do what I'm doing. And I don't see how being financially secure is a bad thing."
"I've seen money corrupt people, honey. And I've seen it ruin families. Look at us. I grew up pretty much hand-to-mouth with my family. We had enough for a roof over our heads, food for our bodies, and a few books to read. My grandpa used to carve the toys we played with out of firewood. And my parents are still together. And happy!"
"Well, there are plenty of people who have money who stay together. And are happy…"
"Look at your parents." Jordan dropped her fork and looked into his eyes helplessly.
"My parents…there's more going on there than money, Jordan…" David's voice took on a warning tone.
"Your dad was a sleazeball and beat you and your mom. And cheated on her constantly. But he was a successful businessman. You guys were rich."
"No, he was a successful cheater. He got money…dirty money, by the way…and he got it by cheating people and screwing people over. That's not a good businessman. And I am not my father!"
His face was red, his fingertips purple as he death-gripped his fork in his left hand.
Jordan's face broke. Tears began to run down her cheeks.
David softened.
"I'm sorry, Jo. I didn't mean to yell…I just…" His head dropped in shame.
"No, I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to compare you to your dad. I know you're not your dad. I know it." She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "Baby, look at me."
David looked up.
"David Stark. You are not your father. You are my husband, and I love you. I'm just…worried about this. I don't know how to handle it. And then you lie about when you're coming home and drop a car in my lap…it's just…I don't really know what to think."
"Think happy thoughts about a new car!" David pleaded. "Just think of it as…my love on four wheels. That's all."
"I want to, honey. And I do. But with all this money, and all this time apart…"
"You think I'm cheating on you?" David recoiled, trying to pull his hand away from hers.
"No…" Jordan squeezed his hand. "No, David. I don't. I'm just afraid. Too many resources. Too much time apart. It's a combination that's a little scary for me. That's all."
"Well, I'm not quitting. I'm doing too well." David answered firmly.
"I don't want you to quit. I don't want to change anything." Jordan explained calmly. "I'm just…scared about how to make this work well. I never thought about how to be married this way. I just didn't prepare myself for it. I don't want to change anything, but it's scary for me. That's all."
"What's scary? Where is this coming from?" David seemed genuinely frustrated.
Jordan let go of his hand and resumed eating, looking down at her food.
David took a deep breath and asked again in a more measured tone.
"Jo. Where is this coming from? Did something happen?"
Jordan ate another forkful. "You said…you said you were okay with me having my own sexual space."
David squinted. "That's it? That…that has nothing to do with my job, or travel, or money, or any of that. That's just…Jo, that's just…me being a weirdo pervert. That means nothing."
Jordan continued to look down. "You didn't think that if you told me I should do my own thing sexually, that I might wonder if you wanted to do your own thing sexually?"
David was stunned into silence.
Jordan looked up at him, chewing her food matter-of-factly. "You travel three weeks out of every month. To places I've never been. You have money. You'll have power and influence soon. That always comes with money. You have more freedom than I do. How could I not worry about that? You're going to get approached, David. By women. It's going to happen. How could I not worry? At least a little bit. And each of us cultivating our own "sexual space?" It's almost a guarantee that you'll cheat on me. Eventually."
David's mouth hung open. "I…I didn't even think of that."
She looked down again and took another bite.
They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence. As David gathered the dishes and began running the sink, Jordan slunk behind him and slipped her hands around his waist, holding him tight.
"I love you, David. I really do. And I trust you. It's just happening fast. Six months ago we were budgeting half-tanks of gas and walking to church. We'd splurge on a weekly blizzard from Dairy Queen. Now you're paying cash for my dream car. I'm just a little overwhelmed, that's all. It's just whiplash. But I trust you."
David nodded, looking down at the dishes.
Jordan kissed his cheek gently, then walked back to the table with a washcloth and began wiping it down.
"Jordan?"
"Yeah baby?" She looked over her shoulder.
"I'm not my dad."
Jordan let go of the washcloth and walked thoughtfully over to him. She turned his chin to face her, locking eyes with him.
"I know that. If you were anything like your father…even one tiny little speck like him…I wouldn't have married you. But I did. You are a good man, David Stark. And I trust you."
David nodded silently, a glimmer of a tear in the corner of his eye.
"Just give me some time to adjust to this, baby," Jordan pleaded. "I'm so happy things are working out for you. I just…I just need time to figure out our situation. I need to wrap my head around how to be married this way."
"What do you need to figure out? I really don't understand."
"It's nothing serious. It really isn't. I'm just finding that some of the things I thought…you know, about how marriage works…are complicated. We're adjusting, and it's working. But I'm still trying to figure them out."
"We don't have to be poor to be happy, Jordan. And your parents would still be happy if they were more comfortable."
"I know that. And we're not my parents any more than we're yours. It's just the model for marriage that I know, you know? We're making our own way. And it's different from what I thought. From what I grew up with. Give me some time, baby. I'll figure it out."
David nodded, seemingly reassured. "Okay. I think I get it now."
"In the meantime, I love you. I trust you. And I'm so, so, sosososo glad you're home."
David smiled, placing a drinking glass in the dish rack to dry.
She kissed him on the cheek and walked to the edge of the kitchen, finished wiping the table, then tossed the washcloth into the sink where David was finishing up. She stood silent, looking at David for a moment, until he turned his head to look at her.
She wore a strange smile.
"What..?" David asked.
Wordlessly she grasped the hem of her tanktop and pulled it over her head, her auburn hair tumbling down around her shoulders.
David's eyes fixed on her perky bare breasts for a moment, then looked back up to her face, still wearing an ambiguous smile.
"I'm going to get back in bed. Finish up the dishes, then come and get it."
Her smile widened enough to show a hint of teeth, and she turned to walk provocatively away toward their bedroom.
* * *
3:00 AM.
A couple more hours before Molly had to dress and slip away in the morning darkness before anyone above Jared in Mark's chain of command reported to work and spotted her.
Mark was asleep again. Molly was once again crammed between the warm density of her boyfriend's body and the brick wall. Still, he seemed to be sleeping more peacefully now.
Although still troubled, she basked in the warm knowledge that her boyfriend had taken comfort in her body. That the hellscape of his unconscious psyche was charmed into restful sleep after she offered her body to him.
The sheer size of him struck her. As if for the first time. He was such a large man. So unlike her husband. Her only other sexual partner. Chris was an average sized man, a few inches under six feet. His frame was skinny with the loose flab of a sedentary lifestyle hanging off of his midsection. He wasn't ugly, just…small.
And she never seemed to be enough for him. She couldn't satisfy him. Couldn't satisfy his intellectual restlessness, couldn't evolve his emotional immaturity.
He had gotten better recently, but much of their marriage had been defined by her seeming helplessness to calm him down or satisfy him.
When she had met Mark on that beach campground…when she had slowly become enchanted by his kindness, his engaging and curious personality…when she had finally capitulated to her desire for his body…it was a total reversal of her experience with her husband. An antithesis.
Before meeting Mark, Chris was moody, demanding, unconcerned with her needs, and instantly dismissive of her when his own needs were met. He was passive, his body soft, his penis small, and his sexual style stiff and transactional. And his climax was a point of rupture–he would withdraw and turn away from her, or even leave the room and go back to his video game.
She could never figure out why she couldn't satisfy him. Why she couldn't make him happy. Why she was never enough for him.
Then she met Mark. And though sex with him was astonishingly powerful–she didn't even know such physical experiences were even possible–she was initially suspicious of her ability to satisfy him.
It didn't make sense. Mark's body was bigger. Much bigger. More muscle mass. Bigger, broader torso. Longer limbs. A much, much larger penis–especially when erect. Molly had of course reveled in the pleasure Mark's body brought to her. But she was certain that–as she was unable to satisfy her much more diminutive husband–there was simply no way she could satisfy a man like Mark.
Yet she did. Opening her body to him, he would accept her welcome and relish the union of their most intimate parts. She would peak, usually more than once, before he shuddered and released inside of her. And then he would lie back and exhale deeply, inviting Molly to snuggle and be intimate, gently holding her pale, soft body in his arms as she held the thick residue of his relief in the warm depth between her legs.
She felt strangely powerful. Being needed by a powerful man, and potent enough to meet his needs. Something she simply had not experienced in her marriage. Why could she be a ravishing, capable partner for such a powerful man, and utterly incapable of satisfying a petty, superior, moody, shrimp-dicked little man?
It didn't make sense.
But the contrast was now heightened even more. Now, in the vulnerable throes of a damaged psyche, Molly's touch and voice could pull Mark, the war hero, out of dark places. In fact, that very thing had just happened, here in that cinder block cell he called home. A nightmare she had perceived…she had answered with a caress and a gentle waking–albeit complicated by an interruption from the guard outside the door. But then he bluntly expressed a need that she could happily meet. Baring her body and opening her legs for him–relishing the pleasure of his tongue before again taking his thickness into her body. She had held him close as his frustration pounded into her body, and she had shuddered in deep orgasm as he had flooded her for the second time that night.
He had lain next to her on the narrow, spartan bed, and slipped back into deep sleep, apparently unperturbed.
Molly reached between her legs, feeling some of Mark's semen beginning to pool on the inside of her left thigh as she lay on her left side. Almost unconsciously, she scooped it and tucked it back into her body.
She was in love with this man. Her body and soul craved him, and she had never felt more complete as a woman. She loved the feeling. She never wanted it to end.
But a small set of bruises was beginning to form on the pale skin of her right shoulder. Where Mark had gripped her in his sleep. She had seen him, still coming out of the twilight stages of his nightmare, throw his huge body violently against the door, clearly unaware of his surroundings. The guard–Arnold was his name–he could have gotten hurt.
It was only 12 hours or so ago that she had seen him nearly catatonic in the courtroom, ripping furniture apart while triggered.
She couldn't help herself imagining what he would be like if he had a nightmare, then woke up like he just did and stepped on one of Max's legos. Would the sudden shock of pain make him think he'd stepped on an IED? Or what would happen if some other sensory trigger was activated that made him think he was in another place while watching a school play that Lucy was in?
A brief hypothetical vision flashed in her mind's eye–Lucy's body dangling, feet wriggling in panic with Mark's powerful hand wrapped around her throat. That vacant, thousand yard stare in his eyes as he did the unthinkable without knowing where he was.
Molly shook her head. That would never happen.
No. Mark would never, ever hurt her kids. Or anyone.
The counter narrative ran into her mind–this time a real memory.
Mark diving into the water in the bay when Max slipped out of his life jacket. How he didn't come up for several gut-wrenching seconds, but when he did, he produced a sputtering, coughing Max and lifted him effortlessly back into the boat. How he comforted the terrified little boy while he cried.
That was the real Mark.
The one before Afghanistan.
It was still the real Mark. When he knew where he was. When he wasn't dissociating.
She reached between her legs and probed herself, feeling for the reassurance of his cum in her body.
She looked up at his sleeping face.
He really looked peaceful now.
She had helped him sleep.
It felt good. In a weirdly deep way. An emotional fulfillment she couldn't begin to quantify.
She didn't want to admit it, but she had a choice to make. And she had to make it soon. If she waited too long, and she made the choice she desperately didn't want to make, she would hurt him. Badly. Maybe beyond repair.
If she didn't have children…if she was just married to Chris, this wouldn't be a dilemma at all. She was in love. She would simply put in two weeks notice at the hospital, hand Chris divorce papers, and get a job at the hospital nearest Mark. She would go wherever he went. She would find a discreet, off the books psychiatrist and pay cash to get him the help he needed without damaging his career. She would try to make him happy. She would stay with him. Carry his children for him, and raise them.
She could see it. She could see that life.
But that wasn't her situation. She had children, and they were her priority. And with Mark's current mental condition…
With the clear fact that an active duty Marine simply would not seek treatment for obvious, acute PTSD…
The unpredictability of his symptoms–coupled with the terrifying size and reach of his body so near her young children…
It was more complicated than what she wanted it to be.
It was more complicated than what she wanted.
What would make her happy.
Maybe she would continue to be enough for him. The way things were now. She could calm him with her love. With her body. With her caring, nurturing devotion.
Maybe it would be enough…
Maybe…
The alarm on her cell phone went off.
4:45.
Time to get up.
Time to get dressed and slip away. She heard a gentle, discreet knock on the door. Arnold was signaling her to get moving.
"Mark…" she whispered in the dark, holding back tears.
"Hmmm?" He grunted, his eyes fluttering open.
"Mark, wake up. I have to go…"
* * *
It had been a relaxed, even frisky Saturday. David and Jordan had rolled happily around on their bed after breakfast, the awkwardness of the breakfast conversation forgiven in the haze of playful physical affection. They had finished, showered, and taken their first ride in the new car, stopping for Clif bars before arriving at the trailhead.
Jordan was over the moon to spend a Saturday with David, and it was a beautiful fall morning. Leaves were not yet turning or falling. But the air was crisp–not cold. And the sky was clear. Not a lot of people were on the trail, although they passed some groups of younger students along the way, a few older couples enjoying the morning. Some cute dogs.
True to her word, Jordan had grabbed her husband's hand on a deserted part of the trail and led him into a small copse of trees. She had leaned him against a boulder, knelt in front of him, unzipped and pulled down his pants, and sucked on him.
He was too nervous to finish, but Jordan really seemed to get a kick out of it. Giggling, face flushed, she would look up at him with bright eyes, then drop and bob her head against his lap as he relaxed against the sun-warmed boulder.
A quick trip to the grocery store, the couple stopped by Jordan's office space to pick up a packet from Professor Lukacz before returning home. David took a quick jet-lag nap while Jordan did some homework, then David emerged from the bedroom with a quip about whether he was allowed to take her to a nice dinner without raising questions about infidelity.
They went to Jordan's favorite fancy place–an Italian restaurant two towns over, and had a good talk about life, love, and work. David's business was still going well. Jordan's dissertation was ahead of schedule, but she had to respond to a famous professor's lecture in a couple weeks, and she was worried about it. David had stories from Brazil and Argentina, including some recipes he wanted to try for her while he was home.
Jordan felt much closer to him on the ride home, gently taking his hand in hers as she drove them home in the brand new, modest-but-sporty SUV. She parked next to their much-shabbier-by-comparison Camry, and they retired into the house.
David was checking work and business emails in the kitchen when Jordan emerged in lacy black lingerie. A black bustier with a lace front that obscured but did not conceal her nipples. A high waisted thong. Garters that clipped to the bustier. Her hair was tied back in a tight bun. David stopped typing mid sentence as she beckoned to him, and stood obediently to follow her down the hallway like an eager duckling.
"Tell me what to do, baby…" Jordan had purred as she shut the door behind him. "I like it when you tell me what to do."
"Okay…" David said nervously. "What do you want me to tell you?"
Jordan giggled. "If I wanted to tell you, I wouldn't ask you to tell me, would I?"
"No, no. Of course not." David coughed. "Well, um…I guess, uh…let your hair down?
Jordan wordlessly reached behind her head and undid her hair tie. Auburn hair tumbled down over her ears and across her shoulders. She looked innocently at David.
"Thank you…"
Jordan smirked. "No problem. Anything else?"
"Uh, yeah. Um…maybe take off your panties?"
She instantly complied, hooking her thumbs under the waistband and shucking the panties down before stepping out of them. The bustier and garter clips attractively framed the thin, soft, auburn colored mass of hair that rose above her cleft.
Jordan stood silent, expecting David to continue.
"Ummm…suck my dick?"
Jordan smiled. "Yes, master." Her voice was silk as she took the remaining two steps toward her husband, kneeling before him. Pulling him out of his pants, she kissed, then gently sucked him.
A moan escaped from his throat.
Jordan stopped and looked up, holding his rigid penis next to her face. "Does that feel good, master? Am I pleasing you?"
"Oh god, yes…"
She licked his tip as her eyes held his with an innocent look.
"Would you like me to do something else to please you, master?"
David began to tremble with excitement.
"Anything?" He whispered.
She smiled, then took him in her mouth again.
"Mmmhmmm…"
"Like, for real, or in fantasy?"
She shrugged, then pulled back, her lips creating a small, wet popping sound as he left her mouth.
"Is there a difference? Aren't I your fantasy girl? And aren't I right here?"
"Yeah…you know what I mean…"
"Mmmm…" she said, moving to fellate him again.
David felt a climax build. He took a deep breath.
Jordan looked up at him again, popping his stiffness out of her mouth.
"Why don't you tell me what you want, and we can decide if it's real or fantasy."
"Okay…" David groaned as she continued to please him with her mouth. He stayed silent while she worked, watching her hair sway sympathetically with the smooth, sensual movement of her head.
At last she pulled back from him and looked up. "You're not saying anything. Do you need my help, master?"
"Are you gonna help? How are you gonna help?" David's words started to slur in hazy delirium.
"I'm a good girl, and I know what my master likes…" she purred, taking him in her mouth again. She swirled her tongue easily around his modest girth, holding eye contact straight up past his torso into his sagging eyes.
"I can help master by giving voice to his fantasies. Would my master like me to name his fantasies?"
David moaned involuntarily, nodding.
Jordan looked down to sensually stroke her husband, then looked back up.
"David? Do you want me to fuck another man?"
David twitched, then convulsed, then grunted in a high tenor. The requisite drops of semen dribbled out of his body and dripped onto the floor under his wife's crooked grin. She still held his painfully stiff penis between her thumb and forefinger until his twitching subsided.
Holding the crooked grin, she stood up and kissed him gently.
"Stay there, David. Don't move."
He watched her turn, her exposed buttocks teasing him in his new clarity of mind. Jordan picked up her laptop from the nightstand, and opened a video, maximizing it to full screen. David could only just see the picture over Jordan's shoulder–it looked like a young woman sitting alone in a chair. Some kind of interview. The woman looked excited but nervous. It was paused at the beginning of the video. Jordan set it down gently on the bed, then walked to the other nightstand.
Opening the top drawer, she pulled out the large, brown, suction dildo David had seen when he arrived yesterday afternoon. Jordan flashed a smile at him, looked at the dildo, then back at him, setting the object gently next to the laptop on the bed.
David's heart began to race as she walked demurely toward him, still partially concealed by lingerie but with her crotch fully uncovered. She slid a finger between her legs, then lifted her hand to his nose. The clear aroma of her arousal wafted into his head, causing blood to race to his cock again.
She wiped the hint of moisture onto his upper lip, then took his hand and kissed him gently on the lips. She then walked past him, still holding his hand, and turned him around and walked him out of the room.
Stopping him barely on the other side of the threshold of the bedroom, she smiled and kissed him gently on the lips again.
Then, stepping backwards into the bedroom, she smirked as she closed the door between them.
Jordan Simms, a shy, skinny, bespectacled young girl in a clean, modest khaki dress from the charity store peeked inconspicuously around the doorframe into the kitchen.
The oldest daughter of Pastor Jack and Mrs. Monica Simms (who had just turned nine last week), was an intensely curious girl. Focusing on being able to see and not be seen, she watched her parents argue. Her mother, visibly pregnant with her third child, refused to turn around to face her husband. Jordan's mother was usually so even tempered. Sweet, even. Now her posture displayed an unfamiliar set of emotions: frustration. Even anger.
Her face was not visible–Monica leaned over the kitchen faucet as it poured out a weak stream of water into a sink full of dishes.
Jordan's father, Reverend Jack Simms, tried to put a gentle hand on her shoulder.
But she shrugged it away angrily.
"It's not a good thing, Monica," he tried to explain. "I know it's more money than we have. But it's not a good thing."
"It's not just the money. It's just…security! Advancement! This is a big church! An established, successful church! They have an auditorium for a sanctuary! They have a full time praise band! A good Vacation Bible School! Jordan could learn the Bible from a professional teacher instead of just poking through your library! You could become a famous preacher on TV! Don't you want to reach more people for Jesus? What is the downside, Jack? Tell me!"
Jordan saw her dad cringe for a moment before formulating his response.
"I know you don't really believe any of that, Monica. There are downsides. Big ones. Their church is flashy, I'll give them that. And I know they have a lot of people attending. All that money comes from a big, excited congregation. But all that money goes somewhere, too. And not where it should. I don't trust it. I know who these people are. And so do you."
Jordan's mother stopped scrubbing the plate. Her shoulders slumped in defeat.
"I know. I know it, Jack. I'm just so tired of struggling."
"I know, honey. But we're really blessed, in our way. God will make a way for us."
"We don't have room in this little house for a third child, Jack. I thought we'd be able to move up by now."
The Reverend sighed. "I'll take care of that. I asked Lyle and he said he had some extra lumber and drywall. He said he'd come over next week and he and I can put another bedroom on the back of the house."
Monica sighed again. "That's very kind of Lyle. But he's 74 years old, Jack. I'm afraid we're going to kill him."
Reverend Simms laughed. "It'll take more than that to kill Lyle. No, he and I can tackle it together. We'll make another room for a nursery in no time. You'll see. Jordan and I can go find some shingles and a window or two at the salvage yard. And she can help us build. You know how she is, she'll love that. Maybe fetch us tools or hand us nails or help paint. It'll come together before you know it. And it'll be fun! And I'll make it nice for you, honey. You and the new baby. It'll be great. I promise."
Jordan's mother sighed again, finally turning around with a weary look on her face.
"Jack, you're a sweet man, but you're naive. It's what I love about you most days. But some days…like today…I just…"
She clenched her fists and grunted in frustration before letting her head fall against her husband's chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her frazzled hair.
"I know, honey. But we'll be okay. The Lord provides. Sufficient for the day."
Monica didn't respond as her husband stroked her back.
The Reverend's voice modulated to a low, gentle, reassuring tone. "You've been on your feet all day. With a baby on the inside and a toddler on the outside, honey. Go lie down and relax. I'll clean up here."
"Okay." Monica wearily agreed.
Jordan scurried away out of sight into the pantry as her mother walked by, too tired to notice her daughter standing there. After hearing footsteps up the stairs, Jordan peeked out again to see her father tending to the dishes. She cautiously stepped out and walked up behind him.
"Hey Dad…"
He turned around, betraying a weary look on his face that brightened noticeably when he saw his oldest daughter.
"Heya Jojo…How's the homework coming?"
"It's done. It wasn't hard. Is mom okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course, Jojo. Everything's fine."
"Are you guys fighting?"
Reverend Simms shook his head. "No. Mom's just tired. You wanna help me with the dishes? Grab a towel. You can dry."
Jordan picked a dish towel out of a drawer and stood beside her father as he handed her clean, wet dishes.
"You comb the dictionary yet, Jojo? What's your new word today?"
"Atavistic." Jordan responded proudly.
"Oooh, that's a five dollar word right there. What's it mean?"
She was ready with the answer. "Reverting to a concept that is ancient, outdated, or ancestral."
"Sounds like something a wizard would study in an old dusty library."
Jordan giggled. "Maybe."
They worked in silence for another moment.
"Dad?"
"Hmmm?" He handed her a mug to dry.
"Why does mom think you're naive? You read more books than anybody."
Reverend Simms sighed. "I guess you heard that. Well, I can be naive. Mom's not wrong about that. But being naive can be a good or a bad thing. Naive just means innocent. Someone who hasn't been corrupted by the world or the evil things in it. And that's a good thing! But it can also mean that that person can get taken advantage of or exploited by tricky or evil people. Because naive people don't understand evil or know how to fight back against it."
"Was Jesus naive?"
"I don't think so. I think he knew exactly what everyone's game was, good or evil. But he, since he was such a special kind of good, he chose to resist evil in his own way. I'm sure people thought he was naive, though."
"So mom thinks you're naive because you turned down the offer from Maranatha Fellowship?"
The Reverend smiled. "How long were you listening to us?"
"The whole time."
Reverend Simms chuckled to himself. "Can't get anything by you, Jojo."
Jordan giggled.
Her father continued.
"Mom's worried about the new baby, and our congregation isn't very big. She's right. It's not going to be easy with a third mouth to feed. And I don't make the money that the pastors down at Maranatha Fellowship make. It's tough to get by sometimes. But we're making it. I've got that job stocking vending machines in the mornings. They keep me busy, and we're getting by. I think we're pretty blessed, myself. But mom's not wrong to worry. She just wants what's best for you kids."
"What's wrong with Maranatha? If you made more money, you wouldn't have to drive the chip truck anymore."
Reverend Simms turned off the faucet and turned toward his young daughter, grasping her forearm gently and looking into her eyes.
"Listen to me, Jojo. There's nothing wrong with a man who drives a delivery truck, or who digs ditches, or fixes cars. There's nothing that makes uh…a doctor or…a professor a better man than someone who drives a truck and delivers things that make people happy. It's honorable. And an honorable job is far, far more important to a man's character than a lucrative job. A good man is a good man no matter what his profession is. Jesus was a carpenter. And the best man in the world may well be a regular old truck driver, or a plumber, or any honest trade."
Jordan hadn't seen her father look that earnest before. It hit her hard. She didn't know how to respond.
He turned back to the sink and turned the faucet back on. Jordan thought about his response for a moment before following up.
"Dad, is it bad to be rich?"
Reverend Simms shook his head and smiled. "Not necessarily. But money…has a way of rotting things. In much the same way poverty can. Having too much can be just as dangerous to your soul as having too little. It rots things."
"Rotting things? How?"
"Well, too much of something can be bad for you. You remember Mr. Wiles? He used to sit three rows from the back? He died last year?"
Jordan nodded.
"Do you remember that before he died, he didn't have his feet anymore?"
"Uh huh."
"Well, Mr. Wiles had diabetes. He'd had it for a good long while, and he got it because he kept eating things that tasted good. Now we all love candy and yummy food, right? Nothing wrong with it all by itself. But Mr. Wiles went overboard with it. Eventually he got diabetes. But then after he got diabetes, he just kept eating and eating, more and more candy and sweets…and eventually his body just shut down, a little at a time."
"Mr. Wiles' feet fell off because he ate too much candy?" Jordan asked, wide eyed.
"Well, it's a little more complicated than that, but basically, yes. Too much abundance…too much of a sweet thing…too much pleasure…too much comfort…it's bad for you, Jojo. It's nice to have nice things. You should always work hard so you can have enough. But when you get greedy, when you get too much…that's when things start rotting. It can rot your soul. Or your marriage. Or your family. You've got to be on your guard against it."
"Do you think Maranatha is rotten?"
Reverend Simms' lips pursed. "I don't like to pass judgment on other Christians. Jesus says we shouldn't do that."
"But they're rich."
He nodded. "They are. Very rich. And I don't judge them for that. But I also don't want to put my family in the middle of all that. I like our church. The people here need us. They need me preaching and visiting them when they're sick. They need you to sing in the choir and pick up song books after services. We can't just leave them. And I don't know if we're strong enough to just get rich all of the sudden and still be the family that we want to be. Don't get me wrong, I want to give a good life to you. But I don't know if I'm strong enough to resist the temptations that come with a rich man's life. Especially a man who gets rich off of Jesus' name. So you can blame me if you want to, Jojo. But I feel it deep in my bones. Nothing good can come out of having too much and still claiming to follow Jesus. That's why I said no when they offered me that job."
Jordan nodded.
"I don't blame you for anything, Dad."
Glancing sideways for a second, Jordan saw a hint of a tear form in the corner of her father's eye.
"I can help you build a new room for the baby too," she offered. "I like Lyle. I like his funny stories."
The Reverend nodded, fighting out a smile.
"Thanks, Jojo. I like Lyle, too."
* * *
Three loud, metallic slaps rang harshly through the steel fire door.
"Yeah…come in."
The door squeaked as it opened less than half way, but then held steady. For a moment, no one appeared.
Sergeant–now Corporal–Rein stood up and cocked his head to see out the door, surprised to see a shock of long red hair nervously peek in, followed by a pale, petite woman's body. The door was pulled shut–but not before Mark looked past to see Corporal Arnold–one of his former squad leaders–dressed in his guard duty belt and looking hastily both ways to ensure the coast was clear.
Molly stood awkwardly at the entrance of Mark's barracks room–a nervous, half-cocked grin on her face. Her hair hung loose and flowed down to her shoulder blades and collar bones, her ears still studded with small gold earrings sporting the eagle, globe, and anchor–the symbol of the Marine Corps. She had a cloth shoulder bag slung over her right side, and she had changed from her courtroom clothing to a more casual outfit comprised of plain blue jeans and a forest green shirt that matched the color of her eyes.
"Hey…" Her nervous grin tensed further as her head and body tensed backward a half-inch, uncertain of what Mark's response or mental state would be upon seeing her.
"Hey." He seemed to be at a loss for words. But he didn't look angry.
Molly looked around Mark's barracks room for the first time. It was not unlike a prison cell.
Jared had tried to prepare her for the spartan reality of barracks life. A concrete floor with a solid, simple tile-print overlay. Walls made of large bricks, painted plain white. No decorations on the walls. On one side of the room was a small desk and chair. next to the desk, a waist-high bookshelf positively crammed full of paperbacks. On the other side was a single bed with a plain green blanket stretched tightly over the mattress. Centered on the back wall was a small alcove with a vanity sink and two doors facing each other–probably a bathroom and a closet.
"You're not supposed to be here." Mark said flatly.
Molly took a deep breath. "I know."
She took a second look around the room, noting small indicators of Mark's state of mind. Several small, grubby red smudges were visible on the white painted brick. Matching, as she soon realized, the torn skin on the knuckles of his right hand. A trash can was on its side in the alcove behind the sink…seemingly having been thrown from across the room.
"How are you feeling?" Molly asked gently, taking a step toward him.
"I'm okay. How are you?"
"I'm good."
Mark towered, trembling, in the center of his barracks room. He was dressed in his utility uniform, but had removed his button-up blouse. He still wore his tight green undershirt, camouflage pants, and utility boots.
His eyes were wild, his posture tense.
Molly took another step toward him. He looked like a wild animal–unsure whether to fight or flee, but stuck in a cage. She became suddenly and acutely aware of their size difference as she approached.
Mark twitched noticeably as she reached out to touch him, placing her flat palms on his firm chest and looking up into his eyes.
"So…tough day, huh?"
Mark nodded silently.
She slowly ran her hands up and down his torso. Then, when the shaking of his body began to diminish, she stepped in again to press the front of her torso against his and lay her cheek on his chest.
"Are you glad to see me?"
He felt the lilt of her voice resonate against his chest and the tension began to drain from him.
"Yeah. Yeah I am, actually. How did you get in here?"
"Jared set it up. I don't know how it works, but I think he called someone and changed the guard shifts before they brought you back here. He's doing guard duty tonight, and he put someone you know as the guard on your door. They waited until all the officers and senior people left and then snuck me up."
Mark allowed himself a half smile. "Sneaky bastards."
Molly sighed out a laugh. "Yeah." She looked up into his eyes. "Mark, where are you?"
Mark's eyebrow raised. "I'm in my barracks room. On motherfucking restriction…"
Molly smiled. "Yep. But I'm with you."
Mark sighed and allowed himself to put his arms around her and squeeze. She hummed and extended her own arms around his neck. They kissed deeply.
"So…" she said, stepping back from their embrace, "what's going to happen if they catch me here?"
"To you? Nothing. They'll just make you leave and escort you off base. I'll get some shit though."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Don't really care, actually. I just got fucked over for some bullshit, might as well add it to the tab, right?"
Molly nodded sadly.
"I don't think we've got a problem, though. If Frenchie's running the shift, he'll know how to keep people out of here. We can hang out for an hour or whatever and he can sneak you back down."
Molly shook her head. "Uh-uh. I'm staying the night. I told Jared I'd leave before people get up for PT. That's when he says there's a bunch of people around."
"How are you going to stay the night?" Mark looked around, confused. "You see this bed? It barely fits me…"
"We can make it work. I don't mind being cozy. Of course, we don't even have to sleep, if you don't want…" She flashed Mark a saucy smile.
Mark allowed himself a small laugh. "Okay…I'm not going to turn down a night with Molly. Especially when I'm stuck in here by myself for the next month."
"That's what I thought…" Molly gave him another quick peck before walking over to his desk, setting the shoulder bag down on the plain wooden surface.
"I brought you something."
Mark walked over and looked down into the bag as she began emptying it of a small stack of tupperware containers, along with some paper plates and plastic utensils.
"Megan made us some dinner. We had some time to kill before they could sneak me up so we went back to hers and Jared's place and made some pulled-pork burritos. You like these?"
"Oh, shit, I love those…" Mark said excitedly.
"She's pretty worried about you, big guy. They both are. And so am I. You doing okay? For real?" Molly opened the tupperware and the delicious smell of savory meat in hot wrapped tortillas wafted upward into Mark's face.
Mark shrugged, then grinned. "I'm definitely doing better now…"
* * *
The phone rang three times before he answered.
"Hello?"
"Good morning, Reverend."
"David! How are you? And we've talked about this. Call me Jack. Or Dad. But it's great to hear from you!"
"Okay Dd…Jack," David stumbled over the appellation.
"That's better. To what do I owe the honor on a Wednesday morning? Is everything all right?"
"Everything's fine, Rev…Jack. Just wanted to chat for a moment if it's convenient. I've got a couple questions I'd like to run by you. Are you busy?"
"I'm on my way to visit one of my parishioners in the hospital, but I have a few minutes. If you don't mind me driving while I talk. Do you mind?"
"No…no, of course not…" David shook his head, confused. The man from the older generation still had odd hangups about conversational etiquette that occasionally took him by surprise.
"Good. What's on your mind? And while I'm at it, where the heck are you right now? I know you've been globetrotting, and Jordan said you were in South America. I'll admit it, I'm a little jealous. I've always wanted to go…"
"Well, yes, I'm in Argentina for another couple days. But I don't see much when I go to these places beyond seaports and railyards. And airports sometimes. But the weather is nice…it's spring down here."
"You don't say…spring in September. Can you beat it? I mean, I knew seasons were the opposite in the southern hemisphere, but wow. What a neat thing to think about…"
"Yeah, it's nice. A lot of flowers are in bloom outside my hotel room. It smells nice. I wish Jordan could be here too. That's the downside of globetrotting."
"Yeah, she'd like to be there too, pal. She sure misses ya. So what's up? You wanted to ask me something?"
"Yeah, if that's okay."
"Nothing serious, is it?"
"Well, a little. But not bad, serious."
"Ooh, I like where this is going. Hit me with it." A small laugh underscored the reverend's quip.
David took a deep breath.
"Well, I'm not sure if Jordan told you, but the business I started is doing well. I took my ownership stake down from 40% to 20% when we hired a manager, but it's still generating a fair amount of income. Things are going well there."
"David, that's wonderful. What a blessing!"
"Yeah, well, this job pays pretty well too, and I also just got a pretty substantial bonus–some incentive pay for some changes I suggested at the Port of Los Angeles. Kinda technical, but suffice it to say, I've got a little extra money."
"Wow. I'm impressed, David. We always knew you were a hard worker. And savvy! I'm sure you've earned every penny, bud."
"Thank you."
David was surprised by the feeling that hit him when his father in law verbalized his approval. His face flushed, unaccustomed to approval from a father figure. He swallowed a couple times and caught his breath before continuing.
"David? You still there?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just dropped the phone for a minute…" David lied. He stabilized his voice, then continued.
"So here's the issue, Rev…Jack. My boss in Copenhagen thinks I'm working out in this position pretty well. And that's good. The bonus I got is great. And I do miss Jordan like crazy, but after the first year with Maersk we can renegotiate my away time so I can get home more. But for now, Arne…my boss…said I should do something nice for Jordan with the bonus I got."
"Well, I'm not going to disagree with that. What did you have in mind?"
David cleared his throat. "I'm going to buy her a car. A new car."
The line went silent for a moment.
"Reverend?"
"Sorry bud, I'm just…wow. It must have been some bonus."
"Yeah, it's a pretty good chunk of change. I just wanted to get your thoughts on it. Is there any way this could backfire? Would she think it's too big of a gesture? And what kind of car should I get?"
"Well, David, I'm never going to tell you not to spoil my daughter."
His voice sounded strained. Diplomatic. The line went silent again as he paused for a moment, clearly uncertain how to continue.
"Jack?" David asked when the silence got awkward.
"Yeah. I'm here. Well," Reverend Simms replied thoughtfully, "I don't know if I can answer which car you should get. You might want to talk to her mom about that one, she's better with that stuff than I am. As far as the first question, about whether it's too big of a gesture, I guess that depends."
"It depends? On what?" David was surprised.
"Well…this is awkward. I'm better doing this kind of stuff with my pastor hat on, and I've got my dad hat on right now. And since I've got the dad hat on, I'll just be blunt. Is everything okay? With you two?"
David gulped. "Yeah. No, we're fine! I mean, being apart is awful, it's driving us crazy. But I think we're okay. I just…our car's kinda old, and I thought…"
"Are you totally sure about that? Are you two working through anything…major?"
"No…no, nothing like that, Reverend."
"Jack. Or Dad. I told you I had my Dad hat on, David!" Reverend Simms laughed.
David laughed back nervously. "No, I know, Jack. But, uh, no. No, we're good. I just thought…"
David didn't finish.
"Well, if that's the case, I think it's a wonderful idea. She'll be thrilled. Is it a surprise? Am I sworn to secrecy?"
"Yeah, actually. I want to pick it up when I get home this weekend and surprise her with it."
"Well, as long as it's not the Batmobile or something, I don't know how you could go wrong." The levity had returned to his voice.
David began to relax. "No, no Batmobiles. I was thinking like a Honda or Toyota. Something reliable but fun. Maybe one of those mini SUV things we could take hiking."
"Boy, that would be neat. Yeah, I'd give Mrs. Simms a call, run it by her. She might tell you what color she likes, or whatever they do. But I think that's just great, David. I'm so happy for you, and I'm just so proud of you. We all are!"
David beamed to himself again.
"I'm serious, David. You're a good man. You're a..uh…a terrific provider, and you take good care of my daughter. I can't tell you how happy I am about all that. Now if I could only find a young man half as good as you for Jordan's sister. She just started her freshman year at college…well, you know all that. I'm just falling all over myself worrying about her. But that's my problem, not yours. I just sure am glad someone's looking out for my Jo-Jo."
David beamed brighter.
* * *
Pacing around the inside of Mark's barracks room, Molly was struck by just how much like a jail cell it was. No windows. Blank brick walls. Hard floor. A steel fire door. Although, the small bathroom counter was wood, giving that section of the space a bit of a homey feeling. But only a little bit.
She opened the door on one side of the sink and saw a very small bathroom: just a toilet and a stand-up shower. Both were spotless. Shutting the door, she opened the opposite door facing it to find a surprisingly deep closet. The closet was neatly arranged with uniform items of varying degrees of formality hanging off a single dowel near the back, and a small cluster of footwear on a shoe rack on one side. A few large duffel bags were stuffed with something and stacked neatly closer to the front. The whole thing, even filled with Mark's belongings, was big enough to walk into.
"Jealous of my closet?" Mark said, taking his place behind her and sliding his hands around the front of her stomach and pulling her back into his body.
Molly smiled and covered his clasped hands with hers. "A little. It's bigger than I thought."
"Yeah, some guys really stuff the space. I don't like to have too much stuff in here though."
"It's nice and neat. Like pretty much everything here."
"Yeah, well. You know. Barracks life. Everything spic and span." Mark sighed.
"Except the blood smears on the wall."
Mark tucked his chin, embarrassed. "You saw that, huh?"
Molly turned around and tucked her chin with an eyebrow cocked, throwing the classic "really?" look up at him as he avoided eye contact.
"If this is going to work, big guy, you need to come to terms with the fact that I notice things. Now when are you going to let me fix up your hand?"
Mark sheepishly lifted his right hand up to her eye line. She held the "really?" look and posture for a moment, then gently took his hand and inspected it. She squeezed each knuckle and waggled each finger, then turned it over, then over again.
"Doesn't look like you broke anything. Which is lucky, since you punched a brick wall. Not the best target if you ever want to master the piano."
Mark snorted, but let her continue.
"Do you have a first aid kit? You definitely have some abrasions. Nothing serious, but could get infected."
"Yeah, under the sink."
Molly stepped over and bent down, digging out bandages and peroxide before carefully cleaning the wounds on and between the swollen knuckles of his right hand. Once all the grime and half-formed scabs were tended to, she wrapped a neat layer of gauze across his knuckles and secured it.
"You're pretty good at that." Mark's voice was tinted with admiration.
"Yeah, well, you know…" Molly smiled, still looking down as she finished wrapping up his hand. "I've had lots of practice."
She finished up, then returned all of the first aid supplies under the sink., throwing the bandage wrappers in the trash.
"I kinda lost it for a bit when I got back," Mark admitted sheepishly.
"I can see that," Molly replied.
"And a little bit when that lady was giving me shit."
"I saw that too."
"Molly?"
"Yeah?" She looked up after throwing the last bandage wrapper away and closing the cabinet door beneath the sink. She saw Mark standing awkwardly, his eyes glistening with a new look.
Shame. Embarrassment. Fear.
"Molly, I'm really sorry. I just…I don't know what…"
"Shhhh….." Molly stepped in to rub his chest and lean against him. "There's nothing to be sorry about. Just a really bad day."
She heard him clear his throat and try to swallow his emotion.
"Nobody's mad at you. Nobody's disappointed in you. We all just want to be there for you, okay?" She looked up at him, hooking her hands up and over his broad shoulders. He smiled stoically and nodded.
"Okay. Thanks, Molly. I'm really glad you came."
"Me too, honey." She stretched up to kiss him. He kissed back.
"Sorry about the accommodations and stuff. Not a lot to do in here."
"That's okay," she said brightly. "We had Megan's dinner, we got you cleaned up. We're on our way."
"Yeah."
Molly laid her face against his chest, rubbing his torso with the flats of her palms until she felt some tension release from his muscles.
"You want me to make you feel good?" She said into his chest.
Mark laughed, the vulnerability of a few moments ago fading from his voice. "Yeah. Obviously."
Molly grinned, then pointed to the small chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat…"
Mark made his way to the chair and flopped down, exhausted. Molly sauntered up and nudged his knees apart, kneeling between them and pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She wordlessly unbuttoned the fly of his fatigues and reached into his boxers, retrieving the ample fistful of his cock and setting it down in the open air. She looked up at him and smiled, running her fingertips up and down his length as he took a deep breath and began to relax.
Molly's smile slowly faded and her face took on the amorous gravity of her task. She gripped his now-stiffening cock at its base, stretched upward to give him a deep kiss on the mouth with a sensual sweep of her tongue, then knelt back down and bent over to take him into her mouth.
Mark's breathing began to even out, roughly matching the slow bob of Molly's red hair over his crotch. The sweet, warm welcome of her mouth provided him a comfort and intimacy he sorely needed, but could not articulate. She seemed to relish the opportunity to meet his needs, stopping only occasionally to kiss and lick him, but focused mainly on maximizing the moist friction between his cock and the inside of her lips, tongue, and cheeks.
She felt his body sink into deeper relaxation, and she smiled–only within herself of course, as she was unable to extend her lips beyond the tight stretch required to snuggle her lover's manhood. She began to purr gently, not sensing a building of arousal on his part, but rather a gradual easing into a zen-like state. Sitting quietly in shared intimacy with a lover.
She paused after a moment, looking up at him. "How am I doing?"
"Good…" Mark mumbled with glassy eyes.
"Do you want me to keep going? Do something else? What's good for you?"
"This is good…" Mark mumbled again. "Take your top off, maybe. Wanna see you."
Molly smiled, pleased that her ministrations had lulled him into that level of relaxation. She cheerfully leaned back and pulled the hem of her shirt up until the garment dropped her bright red ponytail out of the collar. Dropping it behind her, she winked up at her lover as she reached behind her back and unclipped her brassiere, letting it slump off her shoulders and fall limp across her kneeling thighs.
Mark absently began to cup and pinch her small breasts and pink nipples as she leaned forward to give him all the head he wanted.
The two were comfortably settled in their complementary postures, Mark seated in a chair, leaning back slightly while the young wife and mother kneeled in front of him and lovingly attended to his physical needs.
The joint meditation went on for a few more moments when three hard, metallic slaps on the door jarred them both out of their stupor.
"Shit…" Mark stood up, scrambling to tuck his large, hard member back into his pants.
Molly, too, shot upward, instinctively covering her naked breasts with her hands and looking desperately around at the empty room.
"Just a sec…" Mark bellowed toward the door, then hastily turned to Molly.
"Closet."
Mark whispered it urgently.
Molly nodded and darted back and into the closet, quietly shutting the door behind her.
Mark finished buttoning his fly, tucking his member off to one side.
Still visible, but not as much.
"All right, come in."
The door squeaked open and Jared walked in, wearing the sergeant-of-the-guard belt, armed and coiffed for duty.
"Hey man. How you holding up?"
Mark grinned. "Oh, shit man…I'm glad it's you."
Jared looked down, indicating toward the woman's shirt and brassiere still lying on the floor in front of the chair.
"Where'd you hide her?"
Mark grinned awkwardly.
"Molly, it's Jared," Jared said loudly into the air. "Are you in the closet?"
Silence. Then, a humiliated female voice seeped through the wooden door on the side of the sink.
"No…"
Mark and Jared laughed out loud.
"Want me to bring you your shirt?"
The door opened slightly and her green eyes peeked through. "Can I come out?"
Jared motioned her over, and she came out, wearing a large green undershirt she found in the closet. One of Mark's Hilariously oversized.
"Are we in trouble?" Molly asked Jared.
"Nope. Just dropped by to say the officer of the day is Lieutenant Snell."
"Fuckin' Snell? Really?"
"Yep," Jared grinned.
"Who's he?" Molly asked, confused.
"Total shitbag," Mark said confidently "He never makes the rounds, and usually sleeps through the night shift entirely. So no one's coming by tonight."
"Except me, obviously," Jared clarified. "You two can rest easy. Just be ready to slip out a little before 0500. That's when the staff and officers start getting in."
Mark nodded. "Sounds good. And seriously man, thanks. I really appreciate this. I was feeling…kinda fucked up after that whole thing. It's good to have my girl here." He reached around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. She blushed deeply.
Jared grinned again. "Glad we could pull it off. Arnie's on your door until 0500, so let him know if you need anything."
"Cool. Also, tell Meg thanks. For dinner. And everything. It was great. You guys are great. Sorry if I act all shitty. Just trying to figure this shit out, you know?"
"Yeah, no problem," Jared said, extending his hand for Mark to shake. "We'll get through it, man."
Mark grasped his hand and pulled him in for a tight hug.
"You're the best, Frenchie."
Jared slapped his best friend's back, then broke the embrace. He nodded toward Molly, then grabbed the dinner bag off the desk and left, closing the door quietly behind him.
Mark turned toward Molly, his eyes bright.
"Now, where were we?"
* * *
J:
D: I'm really sorry, baby. I underestimated traffic in Buenos Aires. This is completely my fault. I will be on the next plane home, I promise.
J:...
D: I'm so sorry…nothing can prepare you for the traffic in Buenos Aires. I know that now.
J: It's okay, honey. I understand. I'm just disappointed, I've been so excited to see you! When is the next flight? Do you know yet?
D: Looks like I can get on a flight to Panama, then a connector in Houston. Should get me home a little after midnight.
J: Okay. Let me know when you know for sure and I'll come pick you up at the airport.
D: I will.
J: Excited to see you!
D: Me too!
J: 🥰
David put his phone back in the inside pocket of his sport coat just as his taxi pulled up to the car dealership a few miles from his apartment. A small smile broke across his face as he savored the little white lie that would allow him to surprise Jordan with her new car.
The taxi rolled to a stop in front of the sales office and David stepped out, hauling his carryon bag out behind him. He reached through the window and paid the driver, including a generous tip, then stood up straight and adjusted his tie.
"Showtime…"
David had grown up around car lots, and was a veteran of their game. He had already picked out the car recommended by her mother, a brand new light blue Toyota Rav-4. Sporty, yet feminine. It had all sorts of extras–seat warmers, a great sound system, backup and side cameras, and he even negotiated some fancy black rims that matched the tires and accented the color of the body quite attractively.
Now all that was left was to mindfuck the salesman into dropping the price another thousand or so.
He didn't need the discount–the entire price of the new car with the extras was still less than the sizable bonus he had received. But ratcheting down the sale price of a car just felt good. Not only because he was an accountant at heart, always looking to trim expenses and increase efficiency, but also because he had spent his youth watching his morally reprobate father screwing over vulnerable customers in order to move junk cars off his lot and put dirty money into his wallet.
The thought of sticking it to a dealership was, indirectly, a way to fuck his dad over.
Which felt good.
He walked through the door to the sales floor with the goal of knocking $2000 off the final price. He ended up getting the discount up to $3500 when, defeated, they handed him the keys.
David knew their margins and tactics, and he knew just how to smile and take the same pressure they put on him and throw it right back on their shoulders. Once they were squirming, he made a counter offer, and it was accepted.
They were even more floored when he waved away the financing documents and simply pulled out his checkbook. Not a lot of young men in their mid twenties could do that.
He thoroughly inspected the new sporty vehicle inside and out before signing the final papers and receiving the title. Once he was satisfied, he flipped his carryon into the back storage area and waved to the humiliated salesman as he slipped into the drivers side of the car and left the lot.
He parked in a guest parking space, a few spots away from their old Camry, parked in their usual spot. Jordan was home–not surprising on a Friday afternoon. Whistling, David walked into the building and made his way to their apartment. He fumbled with his keys, then, thinking better of it, decided to knock on the door instead. A better surprise if she opened the door to find him.
He knocked, then placed his index finger over the peephole, hearing footsteps pad tentatively toward the door. He heard his wife lean up to look through the peephole, and, not seeing anything, carefully opened the door and looked through the crack. The chain latch was still on–a woman living alone couldn't be too careful. He stepped out of the line of sight so she couldn't see her.
"Ummm…hello?"
David pitched his voice up to mask his identity. "Good afternoon miss. We're Jehovah's Witnesses. Would you like to hear about God's good news for the world?"
Jordan wasn't fooled. She squealed in delight, slamming the door and fumbling to unhook the chain latch before throwing open the door and lunging at her husband. She threw her hands around his neck and squealed again, right in his ear, hopping about for a moment before kissing him wildly up and down both cheeks. Finally she settled into a nice, deep, wet kiss, holding his body close to hers, then pushed him playfully back against the opposite side of the hall outside their apartment.
"You punk! You said you weren't going to be here until midnight! Oh, I'm so mad at you!"
David grinned. Jordan's giggles and delighted smile gave the clear lie to her outrage.
"Sorry, honey. I just wanted to surprise you. Is that okay?"
"Is that okay? Baby, anything that gets you home to me is great…" She leaned in and kissed him deeply again.
David felt relief spread through his body. Jordan's touch had an incredible capacity to emotionally feed him. He hadn't realized quite how drained he was after yet another intense three weeks of work in foreign countries.
He broke the embrace and walked through the door, swinging his carryon jauntily over his back.
"Soooo good to be home!" He moaned loudly, elated.
He heard Jordan close the door behind them as he headed back to the bedroom to put his bag away and sort his clothes for the laundry.
"No wait…" David heard Jordan squeak out an objection as he turned the doorknob and walked in.
The room was disheveled. The top dresser drawer was open, Jordan's full length mirror was askew, and the bed unmade. Jordan's laptop was open facing toward the pillow, the screen not visible from where David stood. But about two feet to the right of the laptop, coated with moisture and glistening in reflected light on the nightstand lay a prosthetic penis.
It was long. Pretty thick. Tan. Circumcised. A slight bow in the shaft drew the eye to the prosthetic scrotum and a prominent suction cup at the base.
David turned around to look at Jordan, finding her cringing painfully.
"Are you mad?"
David stood in bewildered silence for a moment, then walked over to the laptop and turned it around. On the screen was a paused video: a naked young woman, bound in some decorative colored rope with her arms behind her, desperately sucking on a dildo. A dildo not entirely unlike the one currently in repose on his nightstand. He looked over at his wife again, who was now crossing her arms across her chest and looking down at the floor, blushing.
"I'm sorry honey…" she explained. "I know we have a deal, but I was just trying it out…and I thought you were on the plane, and I thought you were going to be late, and I got a little impatient thinking about you, and…"
David cut her off by lunging at her with more ferocity than she had when she lunged at him earlier. Her surprise dwarfed his, at least in his mind, and his mind was exploding in all the possibilities of his wife utilizing that…
After kissing her passionately for a few moments, he stopped himself. He had forgotten the real surprise.
David took Jordan's hand and headed down the hall to their living room.
"Come with me."
"Baby, we can talk this out, I'm really sorry. Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed, I just…"
"I'm not mad, Jordan. Really." David turned around to reassure her.
Jordan looked surprised, then her face softened into a shy smile.
"Really?"
"Really! No, why would I be mad? God Jordan, you're so, so, so, so hot!" David grunted.
Jordan looked down and blushed, looking shyly up at him again after the delighted shock of embarrassment passed.
"Thank you baby…" she said with a shy grin, twisting her torso playfully back and forth like an impatient schoolgirl.
"Get your shoes on, honey. We're going outside for a minute. I want to show you something."
"Umm…okay…"
She was dressed in casual wear for an autumn day: sweatpants and a hoodie.
Wardrobe choices which were probably useful in facilitating her earlier solitary activities, David thought to himself.
Jordan shuffled uncertainly to the shoe rack and slipped on some loosely tied tennis shoes. David opened the door and led her outside.
When they reached the parking lot, David turned to his wife, beaming. "It's for you, baby. A little gift to show you I care."
"What's for me? I don't know what…"
David pointed to the new Rav-4 with the dealer's plates on them. "I got a bonus. Your mom said this was the car you wanted in high school but they couldn't afford it. I got it for you."
Jordan's mouth dropped open. She looked at the new car, then her husband, then the car again.
"Baby…are you serious?"
"Yes, I am."
She walked forward and put her hand on the hood, still in shock.
"David…baby, this is so much money. Is this new? Like brand new?"
"Yep."
"Baby, you should have talked to me about this…what kind of loan did you…"
"Paid cash. I got a bonus for my audit in Los Angeles. It was big. I wrote a check. After I haggled them down, of course."
Jordan's eyes bugged out. She put her hand over her mouth. "Are you serious?"
David nodded proudly, loosening his tie in a playful gesture. "You like it?"
Jordan's mouth hung open, still speechless. She turned to look over the car once more, then back at her husband.
"David…I don't know what to say. I love it."
David's grin got wider. "Good. Glad to hear it."
Jordan ran up and threw her arms around him, holding their bodies close together for an extended period. David fished the keys to the vehicle out of his pocket, and dangled them over his shoulder, in front of his face.
"All yours, Jojo. You deserve it."
She squealed in his ear and broke the embrace, grabbing the keys and running to open the door. David excitedly walked her through all the features, stopping to grin at her every time she felt the need to do a little dance to let her excitement out.
After the tour, Jordan threw her arms around him again and began kissing him excitedly. In between her urgent displays of affection, David smiled at her again:
"So, you like it? I did good?"
"Good…baby, so good. You did so good…"
David's heart sang, seeing the look of pure excitement on his wife's face, inches from his.
God, she was beautiful. Even in Friday afternoon sweatpants–she just glowed.
She kissed him deeply one more time, grasping his hand and leading him urgently back into their apartment building.
"Get in here, mister. That thing you saw earlier…I'm gonna put that thing away…we're definitely not going to need it now…"
* * *
Tucked tightly in the embrace of her lover, Molly wiggled her body to drape her leg over Mark's waist, leaning into his large, slumbering frame. She awkwardly pulled the blanket higher until it covered her bare shoulders.
She wasn't accustomed to falling asleep in a space like this.
The windowless brick and cement quarters where her boyfriend lived were dark and quiet, but also felt hollow and cold.
Had her visit been planned, Mark likely would have tried to alter his sleeping arrangements to accommodate her. But Molly was determined to make it work as the two of them clutched each other on his twin bed, the configuration precarious for both of them. It was tight. Molly, at least, had the blank brick wall at her back, holding her in place, but Mark's long left leg threatened to tumble out of bed at any minute, with the rest of him following.
Luckily, that hadn't happened. Luckily, he was sound asleep. After Jared had left them alone, she had lovingly continued to suck on him until he asked her to fuck. She had shed her pants and panties and climbed onto his lap on the chair, stifling the exhalations of her own pleasure as she gave herself to him to use. Thoroughly stimulated by her mouth, and clearly exhausted by the day, Mark had sat still for the most part while she bobbed and bucked in slow, gentle motions, giving him soft, gentle kisses until his breathing thinned into a rasp and his cock spurted thick, copious warmth into her body.
She had settled him in bed, and tried to lay down beside him before finding that his blanket was not big enough for the two of them. He floated the idea of unzipping his sleeping bag for old time's sake–reminding them of their first sexual encounters on the beach–but finally exchanged a few hushed words with his door guard. The guard had made some subtle gestures to the other marines in adjacent barracks rooms, who quickly produced another, larger blanket from somewhere. Mark had settled sleepily into bed again and Molly had joined him, covering them both with the shared blankets.
Now spent, Mark's breathing settled into a steady rhythm, his large body finally fully relaxed. Molly's head rose and fell gently with his breath.
This time was definitely different. As she had ridden his hard cock, the familiar pleasure of his body filled hers, but she couldn't build toward a climax of her own.
Maybe it was the austerity of her surroundings. Being surrounded by blank brick and concrete, sleeping in a single bed on a government issue mattress.
Locked in a room with no windows.
It just wasn't very sexy.
Actually, the unusual absence of a powerful orgasm drew her attention to a striking contrast in the two relationships she found herself juggling.
She was, after all, actually quite accustomed to sex without orgasm. But that sex was always with her husband, Chris. An utterly selfish lover with a shrimpy little penis. Although he had become more attentive in the last year. He definitely tried harder now, likely aware of the overwhelming strength of his competition in bed.
In clear contrast, Molly had never coupled with Mark without coming. Hard. So it was strange that she didn't this time.
Perhaps she was taking on his stress. Perhaps she was just overly concerned with the acute mental crisis he was dealing with, and, as a result of focusing overly on him, had not been able to relax sufficiently to focus enough on her own feelings.
Whatever the reason, she noticed it. The first time having sex with her dream lover where she remained unfulfilled.
It likely had something to do with the outbursts. The mental breakdown he seemed on the edge of when he was triggered. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but something had changed in her view of him today. When he had snapped in the courtroom. When she had found traces of blood from his knuckles on the wall.
It was scary.
He was a large, strong man. Trained to kill. A man who had killed–she was fairly sure. Granted, that didn't make him a murderer, or even dangerous on his own. The nature of combat changes the moral evaluation of killing. She knew that. And since he had returned from the combat zone, she had felt intense admiration for his known–not merely vaunted–heroism among his peers.
But today she had seen the dark side of it. The wild, uncontrolled rage that his enemies likely saw before he pulled the trigger. Or snapped their necks. Or beat them to death with his bare hands.
However it had happened. Over there.
She wanted to tell herself that such rage would only ever be used in her defense. Never against her.
But she had worked in an emergency room too long not to be a little wary. She had seen young women that looked like her lying to her about bruises on their bodies. She had set broken bones that were most certainly not the result of a clumsy fall. Or a misunderstanding. And she had had to feign credulity when these young mothers explained away the bruises on their children.
Molly forced the thought away from herself. That wasn't Mark. It just wasn't.
But what she saw in the courtroom…the wild eyes…the armrest ripped off the chair…the young woman tumbling backward in fear…
That wasn't Mark either.
But there it was. Right in front of her eyes.
Molly's phone buzzed on the small metallic nightstand next to Mark's bed. She reached over her lover's chest and picked it up.
Mark didn't move, still deep in sleep.
A text message from her husband.
C: Hey. Haven't heard from you. Everything okay?
M: Yeah, sorry. A lot of stuff went down, and it didn't go well. I spent the day with him.
C: Are you with him now?
M: Yes. Staying the night. I'll drive back early tomorrow.
C: OK.
M: Everything okay?
C: Yeah, everything's fine. Lucy's jump-start math class is doing algebra now. She's in a whole new world. You should've seen her. She's loving this.
Molly smiled to herself in the dark.
M: Sorry I missed that. Lucy loving math, I mean. Just like her dad.
C: Just like her mom, too.
Molly smiled again.
M: Yeah, I guess you're right. Max okay?
C: Fine. Finished his Lego model of a star destroyer. So he's happy. They're both asleep now, obviously.
M: Good.
C: So, you and Mark get up to anything?
M: I mean, we had sex. But we always do.
C: Was it good?
Molly huffed, then typed a response, irritated.
M: It's never bad, Chris. I know this is a thing you get off on, but I don't want to turn this into a porno tonight. Mark had a really bad day.
C: Oh. Yeah, I guess you mentioned that. I'm sorry, Mol. I'll back off.
M: It's okay. Just not in the mood to push your buttons right now.
C: OK. Did you make a decision about JH yet?
Molly paused.
M: No, I haven't thought much about it. I guess we should talk about it. You really want to move to Baltimore?
C: I'll move anywhere you want, Mol. Just proud of you.
Molly allowed herself a quick smile, then hesitated before answering.
M: I don't know if we can afford it. I can't keep working if I'm doing full time medical school. It's too much. And you don't have any job prospects in Baltimore. Seems risky.
C: My software's got a bidding war going over it right now. Most of the deals have me staying on as a design and implementation consultant for at least a year, plus the sale price. I'll probably be involved for longer. Maybe 3 years. Or 5. I think we can make it work if you want to do it.
M: Is it a sure thing?
C: Not yet, but honestly, it's way closer than anything I've done before. I've talked to some real-world financial guys who looked over the offers. They all seem to think it's a lock.
M: When will you know?
C: Couple weeks. When do you have to respond to Johns Hopkins?
M: A month.
C: Well, maybe we can talk about it again when I know more.
M: Yeah, probably. I'm just scared, Chris. To start a new thing. I mean, being a mom and full time in medical school?
C: People do it, Mol. And if you want it, you should go for it.
Molly smiled in the dark again.
M: Who are you and what have you done with my surly husband? You're starting to sound like you did when we were dating. Still an arrogant prick but…like…you care about me.
C: I do care, Mol. I've been a prick, but I want to be better.
M: Well, I'm not going to say no to any of that.
C: To that end, I found a couple marriage counselors…if you want to try again. No pressure, just figured I'd tell you I'm willing if you are.
Molly hesitated.
M: This is a weird conversation to have when I'm in bed with another man.
C: Yeah, but you know I love those conversations.
M: God, you're weird.
C: Yeah.
C: …
C: So what do you say?
M: I guess I'll try again. I'll hand it to you, Chris, you've really been trying hard. We can try counseling again. See what happens.
C: Great. I'll set it up. And have fun with Mark.
M: Fine, perv.
M: Chris?
C: What's up?
M: Thanks for supporting me. With the whole med school application and stuff. I know we're not where either of us want to be now, marriage wise. But it means a lot. Your support, I mean. Whatever happens with us, I just want you to know that.
C: I'm glad it helps. And I'll keep trying to help.
M: OK.
C: Goodnight, Mol.
M: Night.
M: You want me to throw you a bone?
C: What?
M: I could wake up Mark and fuck him for you right now. Would that make you excited?
C: God yes…seriously?
M: Yeah, I could use another round with a real man. You got your little guy out?
C: Yes. Holy shit.
M: OK. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Right now I'm gonna fuck my boyfriend. You can play with your little dick thinking about it. Night, hubby.
C: OMG…I love you Molly…
Molly set her phone down and looked at Mark's sleeping face. His eyes were twitching, clearly in REM. But no sweating, no twitching, no heavy breathing or weird sounds. No clear signs of nightmares. She gently rubbed his muscular chest with the palm of her hand, then nestled back into the crook of his arm and slowly settled into sleep herself.
* * *
Jordan couldn't sleep.
She reached over to her nightstand to check the time on her phone.
11:34. Not even midnight.
As of 12 hours ago, she hadn't even expected to have David home by now.
He said after midnight…
But then he surprised her. It was delightful to find him at the door–the exciting cocktail of shock, relief, and excitement all mixed when she realized her husband was home. Even if he had interrupted her in the middle of...
And the extent of David's surprise still had her reeling. She still couldn't believe she had a new car. She hadn't even driven it yet!
Although, after she had dragged David into the apartment and jumped his bones, he had insisted they go out and look at it together again. He walked her through all the features again, and she had been bewildered at the sight of an odometer with 7 miles on it. She'd never seen anything like that before. She had never driven a new car before. And David had picked out the exact model she wanted. And in a color she loved, too!
She was flushed with excitement, moved to overwhelm by the gesture and generosity. She had even soberly asked David if they really could afford it. Ever the careful money manager, David had shown her the spreadsheet of their current finances, with assets spread across three income streams, with David's two incomes each dwarfing hers, with a total balance of…
More money than she had ever seen in one place before. A lot more.
Her mouth had gaped, knowing that more was to come each month. As they lived quite frugally–the recent car purchase aside–that number would continue to go up. David's business was doing very well. David's job had an impressive salary. And the bonuses that David had told her not to count on were already arriving in their bank account. And reaching seven figures.
It was a lot to take in. And it was clear from the look on his face that David's love language of providing for her was reaching the full breadth of expression. So she bracketed her shock…knowing that the right response to such a grand gesture was to gush out her appreciation and admiration to her beaming husband.
That appreciation led to another hasty trip back to the bedroom, where she had seated him on the edge of the bed and sucked his penis. He had thrown his head back with a huge smile on his face that filled Jordan's heart with glee.
It didn't take long before the hint of semen dripped onto her tongue. She had looked up into his eyes as his hips twitched, pulling his modest member out of her mouth and treating him to a wide smile. He had reciprocated her efforts, pulling her bottoms and panties off and nuzzling affectionately between her legs until she treated him to a mild but sensual climax of her own.
They had ordered takeout and watched a few episodes of Farscape before David's head had drooped with jet lag. She had nudged him awake and led him back to bed, turning off the lights as she went.
After settling him in bed, she had removed all her clothes and mounted him, hoping to wake him for more sex. Rubbing sensually up and down his short length, she reveled in the sensual warmth of intimate connection with her husband. He didn't wake up, however, and she soon gave up and snuggled up next to him.
She loved to feel his body in bed with her. She loved this man more than anything in the world. And the bed had been empty for too long–another three week stretch of loneliness and sexual deprivation.
Yet here she lay in the darkness, unable to sleep. She was afraid to feel what she was definitely feeling. She was afraid to admit the thoughts she was actively avoiding. But David's generosity had sparked some emotions in Jordan that she didn't know how to deal with.
On the one hand, the obvious expression of love and caring, the desire to provide her with everything she needed and wanted was a beautiful gesture spoken loudly in her husband's love language.
I have provided for you. I love you.
On the other hand…it was too much. It signaled something in their relationship that threatened her. She wasn't quite sure what it was.
The generosity, the talent, skill, and hard work that led to David amassing enough resources for this gift…all of those things were wonderful. And immensely attractive to her.
That was it. Attractive. She had been surprised by being attracted to David?
No, that wasn't it. But something like that.
Maybe a new dimension of attraction.
Jordan took a moment to think it through. She loved David because he was such an obvious fit for her. He was handsome in a nerdy sort of way. He was sweet, generous, hardworking. He was fiercely devoted to her, and supportive of her. He took firm control of his own life, success, and opportunities. And in his way, he was a very strong man. Tough. Smart. Even ruthless when it came to negotiating–as apparently (he couldn't help bragging) he had gotten a deal on the car.
In a word, David was a successful man. And given his talents and affinity for hard work, he seemed likely to be more successful in the future.
Jordan couldn't identify why a pang of panic hit her stomach as she thought of David as a successful man.
He would likely be a rich man. He was well on his way.
The panic grew.
Money rots things. Relationships. The love of money is the root of evil. It is easier for a camel to squeeze through a needle's eye than for a rich man to enter heaven.
Tropes of her childhood. Still believed.
Of course David could manage wealth, Jordan hastened to reassure herself. It was a primary skill of his. And his heart was good. And he was faithful to a fault. Look how much good he had done in Hamad and Aisha's life. How generous he was in giving ownership stakes to people he easily could have exploited as employees. He was good to the core. There was no reason to suspect his integrity would degenerate into corruption. He wouldn't let money, or anything, rot their relationship.
Except…
He had told her that he wanted her to have her own sexual "space." Space in her sex life which didn't include him.
Isn't it only natural that she, too, should allow space in his sex life which didn't include her?
The stab of panic turned the blade in her stomach. Jordan saw dimly into the future as her husband's business grew. As he became more of a player in global logistics. She imagined him being promoted into powerful executive positions. His clothes would get nicer. Fancy cars. A nice house. Maybe big-city condos.
Women would notice him. How could they not? A rich wunderkind, shaking up world-economic supply chains and watching money rain down around him. His easy smile when he was relaxed. His cute laugh. His jokes–he could be really funny.
Other women. Women with perfect bodies and big boobs and sophisticated pedigrees would begin to see him as a catch. Women with vast sexual experience, skilled in the art of allure.
And here she would be. A skinny, auburn haired pastor's daughter eking out a living as an assistant professor of psychology at some third-rate college?
She would age. The list of women who wanted to be with a smart, successful man–her man–would always include younger competitors.
She imagined one. A young blonde with D cups in a halter top. She probably had an impressive extracurricular resume too…something she couldn't compete with…maybe an olympic pole vaulter and New York economist. This younger, more attractive, more impressive hypothetical woman would talk about finance with David. The conversation would be easy and free flowing. She would laugh at his jokes. They would get a drink sometime when David didn't have his boring wife hanging around him.
And David was traveling for business now. A lot.
Jordan now found herself chewing her nails. She hadn't done that since junior high school.
The cuckold thing–maybe it was a real fantasy that David enjoyed now. But how could it not evolve? If she actually went through with it again…if she started seeing other men while David was away, why in the world wouldn't he see other women when he was away? Hot young secretaries, eager to please…
Jordan's heart raced.
She couldn't compete. She didn't have the body…she didn't have the personality…she didn't have the sexual "moves" that she was sure these other women had.
Jordan paused and took a deep breath. This level of panic was irrational. She was catastrophizing. An expert in human psychology, she was well aware of the signs of irrational anxiety, and she had some idea of how to keep herself from spiraling.
But the new facts were troubling. She had never encountered a threat to her marriage before.
She rolled on her side to face her sleeping husband, and pinched his member between her thumb and two fingers. She rolled it, then caressed it, causing David to moan out in sleepy confusion. He woke up, groggy, just as she straddled him again and tried to direct his half-stiff penis into her body.
"What's up, Jo? You okay?"
He wasn't hard enough. She pinched it closer to the tip, and then attempted to sit down on it, but it wouldn't go in, nestling inertly between her folds.
She rocked her hips back and forth in the dark, resting her palms on David's chest.
"Baby…wake up…I need you…" she whispered urgently.
David's eyes were bleary. "I love it baby…but you wore me out earlier. Not sure what I got left right now. Kinda tired after my flight."
He looked up at her in the dark. She was naked, he could see that in her outline, and he could feel her naked womanhood, soft and furry, grinding gently back and forth on top of him. But he couldn't see her face.
"Tell me you love me, baby."
David squinted in surprise. "I love you, Jo. You know that."
"Please, honey?"
He heard the choke of a sob in her plea. He sat up quickly and tried to look into her eyes.
It was too dark. He reached over to turn on the lamp, and saw tears streaking down his wife's face.
"Jordan…honey…what's the matter?"
She wouldn't look at him. She put her hand over her face to block the sight of her tears.
"Please David."
He grabbed her shoulders and tilted his head to try and catch her eyes as they looked away.
"Jordan. I love you. I love you more than anything! Just tell me what's the matter…"
She sniffled and looked back at him.
"Say it again?"
David half smiled nervously.
"Jordan Stark-Simms. I. Love. You. You are everything to me."
She sniffled again. "Okay. Thanks."
David's smile widened. "Where is this coming from? Did you have a bad dream?"
She shook her head and wiped her face with the back of her hand.
"No. I just really miss you when you're gone." She sniffled one more time.
"I miss you too, baby. Where is this coming from?"
"I just want to make sure you have enough. Because we don't see each other as much."
"Enough what?"
Jordan bucked her hips gently, drawing attention to their intimate touching.
"Oh, that…" David laughed. "Believe me, baby. You take care of me so good…"
Jordan half smiled, trying not to blubber. "You'll tell me if you need more?"
"Honestly, baby. I can't imagine wanting more than we have."
"Promise me you'll tell me if you want more from me." Jordan's face was serious. Pleading.
"Okay, Jo. I promise. I won't though. You're my own…personal…goddess. I get everything I want and need from you."
A final sniffle. A final tear wipe.
"Okay. Remember you promised."
David looked slowly up and down at her lithe, naked body perched on top of his. He turned his attention downward and felt the soft down of her pubic hair and the warm, moist skin of her vagina cradling his manhood. He felt himself stir between her legs.
"Hey baby. I think I'm waking up. I think I'd like some more."
Jordan's half smile broke into a grin, the tear tracks still lightly visible on her cheeks.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I think so…"
"Okay. Good."
* * *
An uncanny whine jarred Molly out of her sleep.
It was an awkward, uncomfortable sleep on a narrow twin mattress. Crammed between the large, dense body of her boyfriend and the blank brick wall.
Her eyes were fixed open, staring out over the vague landscape of a blanket stretched over Mark's chest. She had been up for some time, worrying about him. And about her future with him. Uncertainty about his mental health. About the effect this bullshit legal trouble was having on an already acute anxiety condition.
But eventually, after worrying her way into deep fatigue, she had been able to drift off. But her sleep remained troubled.
Now she blinked in the dark, confused by the sound that woke her.
She had trouble seeing Mark's face in the blank darkness of his barracks room, but she could feel the periodic twitching of his arms.
Still fuzzy from waking suddenly, she became aware that, with his arm wrapped around her body, his hand was squeezing her shoulder.
Hard.
Harder than she'd ever felt his touch before.
She heard the whine again. Nasal. It was him. Crying out.
Grimacing at the pain in her shoulder, she gently tapped on his chest and whispered to him.
"Mark. Wake up, honey. You're here with me…wake up…"
The whine quickly dropped its pitch, landing and transforming into a pained groan. The pressure on her shoulder lessened. Molly reached over and turned on the lamp next to his bed. Then she propped herself up, rubbing his arms and chest.
"It's okay, Mark. It's Molly. You're with me…"
His eyes opened slowly, a disorienting fuzz apparent in the rapid shift of his pupils.
Suddenly Molly heard a metallic scratch and a fumbling sound.
Keys making their way into the doorknob.
Molly yelped and pulled the covers over her head, hiding.
Suddenly aware of an intruder, but still not fully oriented, Mark shot out of bed and bolted to brace the door. A struggle ensued, Mark violently throwing his huge shoulder against the door over and over, a loud metallic thwack ringing out each time until an urgent whisper floated through the door.
"Sarge! I'm just making sure you're okay. I heard some weird noises…"
Molly peeked above the blanket.
"Honey. It's your friend. Arnold, I think? It's okay. He's okay."
She began to see Mark slowly orienting to his surroundings. Eventually he relaxed, then stepped away from the door.
It opened tentatively, and Corporal Arnold peeked in.
"Shit. What's the matter, Sarge? Seriously…"
"I don't know man. Sorry. Don't know what came over me. I'm fine, though. I just…hang on, I gotta piss."
He stumbled back toward his bathroom as Arnold stepped into the room.
Molly cautiously sat up, clutching her blanket up to hide her naked body from this stranger.
Arnold nodded awkwardly toward her. "I'm sorry to bother…I just heard…you know..."
Molly nodded in understanding. "He's okay. He just had a nightmare. Sometimes he makes noises. But he's okay."
"Okay. Good. I just want to talk to him to make sure. Sorry, it's just my job. I'll be out of here in no time. Don't mind me…"
He was clearly trying to avoid looking at the fit young woman, clearly naked underneath the single blanket she clutched around her.
"No, I know you have your duty…" Molly offered. "What was your name again? Arnold?"
"Yeah. It's my last name though. And you're Molly?"
She nodded.
"Pleased to meet you, Molly. Like, officially. I know you kinda slipped by earlier…"
Molly nodded again. "The nightmares…I think…I know you guys don't get treatment for mental health, but is there any way…?"
Arnold shook his head. "Nope. Career killer. But Sarge'll get past it. He's the toughest man I've ever met. Don't worry about him, he'll power through."
"It's not about tough…" Molly muttered through a pained smile, but knew the conversation wasn't going anywhere.
They heard the toilet flush from the bathroom, and Mark walked out in his boxer shorts. Arnold straightened up as he approached.
"You good Sarge? I just gotta check."
"Not Sarge anymore, Arnie. And yeah, I'm alright." He turned around to look at Molly. "Bout to get real good, actually. You're probably gonna hear some more noises. Be a bro, and don't come in."
Molly blushed and pulled the blanket up over her face. Arnold laughed out loud.
"Alright sarge. I'm out."
He slipped out the door, and Mark pushed it closed behind him. With one hand still on the door, he turned around and looked at Molly.
"Alright, little lady. If I'm gonna be up in the middle of the night, I want pussy. Spread 'em."
Molly curled up her body defensively, giggling in surprise. He usually wasn't frisky after she woke him up from nightmares…but he usually just went right back to sleep. Maybe it was different when he got up and walked around…"
Her train of thought was interrupted by Mark walking over to the bed, grabbing her feet under the blanket and pulling her body aggressively toward his, laying perpendicular on the bed with her legs extending over the edge.
She squealed as he flipped the blanket up over her head, lewdly exposing her bare cleft to the lamplight. He pulled her knees up and apart as she protested, pulling the blanket off her face.
"Wait. Mark…"
He stopped moving and looked down at her.
"I need a minute, and I need to know you're okay?"
"I'm fine. Just want this." He gave a playful tap between her legs.
"Are you sure?" She was still uneasy.
"Yeah, no, I'm good. I woke up. It's gone. But then I found you here. And now I want your pussy. Why…am I not allowed to have it?" Mark furrowed his brow, confused.
"No, honey. You can…you can always have it. God, take it. But I still need a minute I can't just…go like that."
Mark squatted down at the edge of the bed and began kissing her thighs. "Can I taste it?"
Molly smiled, blushing. "Yeah…"
"Good. I'm gonna taste it. I'm gonna get it nice and wet. And then I'm gonna fuck it full of cum."
"Okay…" Molly sighed as his tongue found her cleft, shocked at the sudden turn of tone in the room.
"Tell me you want it."
She moaned in the dim lamp light.
"God, I want it…"
* * *
Jordan woke up to the smell of bacon and fresh coffee.
David was home!
She had become so accustomed to waking up alone, it was still a surprise to wake up with her husband in the house. She smiled excitedly and hopped out of bed, pulling sweatpants and a plain tank top over her naked body.
She trotted to the kitchen to see the love of her life cooking breakfast for her. He turned and smiled at her. Her heart glowed.
"Good morning, Jo."
She darted forward and threw her arms around his neck, giving him a wet kiss on the cheek. David set down the spatula and turned to squeeze her back, leaning in for a kiss on the lips.
"Mmmmm…" Jordan said, turning away. "Morning breath…don't smell my morning breath!"
David laughed. "I don't care about that…"
"Nonono!" Jordan darted down the hall into the bathroom and hastily gargled mouthwash. After quickly putting it back in the cabinet, she darted back to the kitchen, threw her arms around David's neck again and kissed him deeply with tongue.
"Mmmmm…. I like that…" David purred into her grin.
"That's good. Because I. Love. You." She punctuated each of the last words with an affectionate peck on the lips, then followed it with another deep kiss.
"Eggs Benedict?"
"Baby! You treat me so good!" Jordan cooed, reaching for dishes to set the table.
"So what do you want to do today?" David called out as she arranged the table setting.
"I'm easy. I had no real plans. But we probably ought to take a ride in my brand new car, don't you think?"
"Yeah, that sounds fun," David replied. "Anywhere in particular?"
"I thought maybe hike the falls? It's a nice day, and we haven't done that since you got your new job."
"Sounds great," David said, carrying the hot food over to the table and plating it.
Jordan poured coffee, then got juice out of the fridge to pour into glasses. "I figured we could catch up, see some beautiful nature, hold hands, maybe kiss a little bit, and then we can slip into the bushes somewhere and I can suck that hog of yours."
David snorted. "What has gotten into you? Are you serious?"
"I'm so serious, baby…" She stopped pouring and locked eyes with her husband. "I'm so freaking horny today, you have no idea."
David shrugged, flabbergasted. "Well, I'm not gonna turn that down."
"Darn right you're not, mister. Not when my engine's this hot. I may need to drag you to bed after we eat here. Take the edge off before we get dressed and go."
David beamed as he blushed. They sat down and said grace, then began eating.
David spoke first. "Seriously, Jo. What's gotten into you?"
"I don't know!" she emoted. "I guess I just really, really missed you. I'm all pent up. Need my man." She moaned in ecstasy as she ate another bite of breakfast.
David beamed again, looking down at his plate to obscure his shy, involuntary grin.
Jordan actually had some idea what had gotten into her. After last night, when she had spurred a second round of sex with her desperate display of moral insecurity, David had taken genuine delight in her body, pawing at her, groping and stroking her skin, suckling on her sensitive parts. Revving the engine of her arousal to its red line. All while she delicately mounted his stiffening penis, bucking and wiggling subtly, careful so he wouldn't slip out. Her enthusiasm had led to a powerful release for him. And given her insecure drive to satisfy him, to "be enough" for him, she had clung to his body after uncoupling, her engine still at a red line, her emotions needing the validation of a satisfied husband.
He had promptly gone to sleep again.
Jordan had steadfastly ignored the call from the girl in the mirror. She knew what would happen if she ignored her, but she would not leave David alone with his thoughts. Not when she could be there to entice him with her body. To be everything he needed.
She couldn't shake the thought: claiming her own sexual space as her own meant ceding his own sexual space to him.
And, as the catastrophizing reverie that led to that second round of sex clearly indicated, Jordan did not like what separate sexual spaces could mean for their relationship.
But ignoring the girl in the mirror had lingering physical effects. And those effects could make things weird.
"So what's up?" David interrupted her thoughts.
"Hmmm?" She looked up.
"What was that last night?"
"What was what?"
"When you woke me up last night. You were crying. While trying to get me to have sex. It…was weird."
"Oh, that." Jordan looked back down.
"Do you not want to talk about it?"
"No, we can talk about it…" Jordan said quickly. "I just…I really miss you when you're gone. And sometimes my imagination kind of runs away with me. It's stupid. I'll get over it."
David reached across the table, extending his hand to hers. "Come on, Jo. We're not together as much as we want. Let's not play games during the time we have. Something's bothering you. Let me in."
Jordan took another bite, not looking up. "It's really fine, honey. I'm just being dramatic. These eggs are fantastic, by the way."
"I'm glad you like them. And you're allowed to be dramatic. That's fine with me. Just tell me what's on your mind."
Jordan looked up, insecurity flashing in her gunbarrel blue eyes.
"It's fine, baby. Don't worry about it. I just miss you when you're gone. That's all." She smiled awkwardly.
David nodded gravely. "Okay. Well, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But when you're ready to talk…"
"You're getting rich and traveling." Jordan blurted out, then ducked down and covered her eyes with her free hand. She quickly put two more forkfuls of breakfast in her mouth and chewed quickly.
"I'm getting rich and traveling?" David asked. "Am I saying that right?"
Jordan didn't answer.
"Help me understand, Jo," David pleaded.
"Baby," Jordan said at length, "too much money…it's dangerous. It rots relationships. I'm scared for us." She didn't look up, but began gesturing with her hand, emphasizing each word.
"Money rots relationships? I don't understand…"
"It's just…dangerous to have too much. I worry that if we do too well…if you do too well, we'll drift apart. I picked a profession that I knew would give us enough money to live, but not too much. And I was fine when you drove a delivery truck."
"You want me to go back to driving the flower truck?" David asked, confused.
"No, baby. It's not that. I want you to do whatever you want to do."
"Well, I want to do what I'm doing. And I don't see how being financially secure is a bad thing."
"I've seen money corrupt people, honey. And I've seen it ruin families. Look at us. I grew up pretty much hand-to-mouth with my family. We had enough for a roof over our heads, food for our bodies, and a few books to read. My grandpa used to carve the toys we played with out of firewood. And my parents are still together. And happy!"
"Well, there are plenty of people who have money who stay together. And are happy…"
"Look at your parents." Jordan dropped her fork and looked into his eyes helplessly.
"My parents…there's more going on there than money, Jordan…" David's voice took on a warning tone.
"Your dad was a sleazeball and beat you and your mom. And cheated on her constantly. But he was a successful businessman. You guys were rich."
"No, he was a successful cheater. He got money…dirty money, by the way…and he got it by cheating people and screwing people over. That's not a good businessman. And I am not my father!"
His face was red, his fingertips purple as he death-gripped his fork in his left hand.
Jordan's face broke. Tears began to run down her cheeks.
David softened.
"I'm sorry, Jo. I didn't mean to yell…I just…" His head dropped in shame.
"No, I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to compare you to your dad. I know you're not your dad. I know it." She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "Baby, look at me."
David looked up.
"David Stark. You are not your father. You are my husband, and I love you. I'm just…worried about this. I don't know how to handle it. And then you lie about when you're coming home and drop a car in my lap…it's just…I don't really know what to think."
"Think happy thoughts about a new car!" David pleaded. "Just think of it as…my love on four wheels. That's all."
"I want to, honey. And I do. But with all this money, and all this time apart…"
"You think I'm cheating on you?" David recoiled, trying to pull his hand away from hers.
"No…" Jordan squeezed his hand. "No, David. I don't. I'm just afraid. Too many resources. Too much time apart. It's a combination that's a little scary for me. That's all."
"Well, I'm not quitting. I'm doing too well." David answered firmly.
"I don't want you to quit. I don't want to change anything." Jordan explained calmly. "I'm just…scared about how to make this work well. I never thought about how to be married this way. I just didn't prepare myself for it. I don't want to change anything, but it's scary for me. That's all."
"What's scary? Where is this coming from?" David seemed genuinely frustrated.
Jordan let go of his hand and resumed eating, looking down at her food.
David took a deep breath and asked again in a more measured tone.
"Jo. Where is this coming from? Did something happen?"
Jordan ate another forkful. "You said…you said you were okay with me having my own sexual space."
David squinted. "That's it? That…that has nothing to do with my job, or travel, or money, or any of that. That's just…Jo, that's just…me being a weirdo pervert. That means nothing."
Jordan continued to look down. "You didn't think that if you told me I should do my own thing sexually, that I might wonder if you wanted to do your own thing sexually?"
David was stunned into silence.
Jordan looked up at him, chewing her food matter-of-factly. "You travel three weeks out of every month. To places I've never been. You have money. You'll have power and influence soon. That always comes with money. You have more freedom than I do. How could I not worry about that? You're going to get approached, David. By women. It's going to happen. How could I not worry? At least a little bit. And each of us cultivating our own "sexual space?" It's almost a guarantee that you'll cheat on me. Eventually."
David's mouth hung open. "I…I didn't even think of that."
She looked down again and took another bite.
They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence. As David gathered the dishes and began running the sink, Jordan slunk behind him and slipped her hands around his waist, holding him tight.
"I love you, David. I really do. And I trust you. It's just happening fast. Six months ago we were budgeting half-tanks of gas and walking to church. We'd splurge on a weekly blizzard from Dairy Queen. Now you're paying cash for my dream car. I'm just a little overwhelmed, that's all. It's just whiplash. But I trust you."
David nodded, looking down at the dishes.
Jordan kissed his cheek gently, then walked back to the table with a washcloth and began wiping it down.
"Jordan?"
"Yeah baby?" She looked over her shoulder.
"I'm not my dad."
Jordan let go of the washcloth and walked thoughtfully over to him. She turned his chin to face her, locking eyes with him.
"I know that. If you were anything like your father…even one tiny little speck like him…I wouldn't have married you. But I did. You are a good man, David Stark. And I trust you."
David nodded silently, a glimmer of a tear in the corner of his eye.
"Just give me some time to adjust to this, baby," Jordan pleaded. "I'm so happy things are working out for you. I just…I just need time to figure out our situation. I need to wrap my head around how to be married this way."
"What do you need to figure out? I really don't understand."
"It's nothing serious. It really isn't. I'm just finding that some of the things I thought…you know, about how marriage works…are complicated. We're adjusting, and it's working. But I'm still trying to figure them out."
"We don't have to be poor to be happy, Jordan. And your parents would still be happy if they were more comfortable."
"I know that. And we're not my parents any more than we're yours. It's just the model for marriage that I know, you know? We're making our own way. And it's different from what I thought. From what I grew up with. Give me some time, baby. I'll figure it out."
David nodded, seemingly reassured. "Okay. I think I get it now."
"In the meantime, I love you. I trust you. And I'm so, so, sosososo glad you're home."
David smiled, placing a drinking glass in the dish rack to dry.
She kissed him on the cheek and walked to the edge of the kitchen, finished wiping the table, then tossed the washcloth into the sink where David was finishing up. She stood silent, looking at David for a moment, until he turned his head to look at her.
She wore a strange smile.
"What..?" David asked.
Wordlessly she grasped the hem of her tanktop and pulled it over her head, her auburn hair tumbling down around her shoulders.
David's eyes fixed on her perky bare breasts for a moment, then looked back up to her face, still wearing an ambiguous smile.
"I'm going to get back in bed. Finish up the dishes, then come and get it."
Her smile widened enough to show a hint of teeth, and she turned to walk provocatively away toward their bedroom.
* * *
3:00 AM.
A couple more hours before Molly had to dress and slip away in the morning darkness before anyone above Jared in Mark's chain of command reported to work and spotted her.
Mark was asleep again. Molly was once again crammed between the warm density of her boyfriend's body and the brick wall. Still, he seemed to be sleeping more peacefully now.
Although still troubled, she basked in the warm knowledge that her boyfriend had taken comfort in her body. That the hellscape of his unconscious psyche was charmed into restful sleep after she offered her body to him.
The sheer size of him struck her. As if for the first time. He was such a large man. So unlike her husband. Her only other sexual partner. Chris was an average sized man, a few inches under six feet. His frame was skinny with the loose flab of a sedentary lifestyle hanging off of his midsection. He wasn't ugly, just…small.
And she never seemed to be enough for him. She couldn't satisfy him. Couldn't satisfy his intellectual restlessness, couldn't evolve his emotional immaturity.
He had gotten better recently, but much of their marriage had been defined by her seeming helplessness to calm him down or satisfy him.
When she had met Mark on that beach campground…when she had slowly become enchanted by his kindness, his engaging and curious personality…when she had finally capitulated to her desire for his body…it was a total reversal of her experience with her husband. An antithesis.
Before meeting Mark, Chris was moody, demanding, unconcerned with her needs, and instantly dismissive of her when his own needs were met. He was passive, his body soft, his penis small, and his sexual style stiff and transactional. And his climax was a point of rupture–he would withdraw and turn away from her, or even leave the room and go back to his video game.
She could never figure out why she couldn't satisfy him. Why she couldn't make him happy. Why she was never enough for him.
Then she met Mark. And though sex with him was astonishingly powerful–she didn't even know such physical experiences were even possible–she was initially suspicious of her ability to satisfy him.
It didn't make sense. Mark's body was bigger. Much bigger. More muscle mass. Bigger, broader torso. Longer limbs. A much, much larger penis–especially when erect. Molly had of course reveled in the pleasure Mark's body brought to her. But she was certain that–as she was unable to satisfy her much more diminutive husband–there was simply no way she could satisfy a man like Mark.
Yet she did. Opening her body to him, he would accept her welcome and relish the union of their most intimate parts. She would peak, usually more than once, before he shuddered and released inside of her. And then he would lie back and exhale deeply, inviting Molly to snuggle and be intimate, gently holding her pale, soft body in his arms as she held the thick residue of his relief in the warm depth between her legs.
She felt strangely powerful. Being needed by a powerful man, and potent enough to meet his needs. Something she simply had not experienced in her marriage. Why could she be a ravishing, capable partner for such a powerful man, and utterly incapable of satisfying a petty, superior, moody, shrimp-dicked little man?
It didn't make sense.
But the contrast was now heightened even more. Now, in the vulnerable throes of a damaged psyche, Molly's touch and voice could pull Mark, the war hero, out of dark places. In fact, that very thing had just happened, here in that cinder block cell he called home. A nightmare she had perceived…she had answered with a caress and a gentle waking–albeit complicated by an interruption from the guard outside the door. But then he bluntly expressed a need that she could happily meet. Baring her body and opening her legs for him–relishing the pleasure of his tongue before again taking his thickness into her body. She had held him close as his frustration pounded into her body, and she had shuddered in deep orgasm as he had flooded her for the second time that night.
He had lain next to her on the narrow, spartan bed, and slipped back into deep sleep, apparently unperturbed.
Molly reached between her legs, feeling some of Mark's semen beginning to pool on the inside of her left thigh as she lay on her left side. Almost unconsciously, she scooped it and tucked it back into her body.
She was in love with this man. Her body and soul craved him, and she had never felt more complete as a woman. She loved the feeling. She never wanted it to end.
But a small set of bruises was beginning to form on the pale skin of her right shoulder. Where Mark had gripped her in his sleep. She had seen him, still coming out of the twilight stages of his nightmare, throw his huge body violently against the door, clearly unaware of his surroundings. The guard–Arnold was his name–he could have gotten hurt.
It was only 12 hours or so ago that she had seen him nearly catatonic in the courtroom, ripping furniture apart while triggered.
She couldn't help herself imagining what he would be like if he had a nightmare, then woke up like he just did and stepped on one of Max's legos. Would the sudden shock of pain make him think he'd stepped on an IED? Or what would happen if some other sensory trigger was activated that made him think he was in another place while watching a school play that Lucy was in?
A brief hypothetical vision flashed in her mind's eye–Lucy's body dangling, feet wriggling in panic with Mark's powerful hand wrapped around her throat. That vacant, thousand yard stare in his eyes as he did the unthinkable without knowing where he was.
Molly shook her head. That would never happen.
No. Mark would never, ever hurt her kids. Or anyone.
The counter narrative ran into her mind–this time a real memory.
Mark diving into the water in the bay when Max slipped out of his life jacket. How he didn't come up for several gut-wrenching seconds, but when he did, he produced a sputtering, coughing Max and lifted him effortlessly back into the boat. How he comforted the terrified little boy while he cried.
That was the real Mark.
The one before Afghanistan.
It was still the real Mark. When he knew where he was. When he wasn't dissociating.
She reached between her legs and probed herself, feeling for the reassurance of his cum in her body.
She looked up at his sleeping face.
He really looked peaceful now.
She had helped him sleep.
It felt good. In a weirdly deep way. An emotional fulfillment she couldn't begin to quantify.
She didn't want to admit it, but she had a choice to make. And she had to make it soon. If she waited too long, and she made the choice she desperately didn't want to make, she would hurt him. Badly. Maybe beyond repair.
If she didn't have children…if she was just married to Chris, this wouldn't be a dilemma at all. She was in love. She would simply put in two weeks notice at the hospital, hand Chris divorce papers, and get a job at the hospital nearest Mark. She would go wherever he went. She would find a discreet, off the books psychiatrist and pay cash to get him the help he needed without damaging his career. She would try to make him happy. She would stay with him. Carry his children for him, and raise them.
She could see it. She could see that life.
But that wasn't her situation. She had children, and they were her priority. And with Mark's current mental condition…
With the clear fact that an active duty Marine simply would not seek treatment for obvious, acute PTSD…
The unpredictability of his symptoms–coupled with the terrifying size and reach of his body so near her young children…
It was more complicated than what she wanted it to be.
It was more complicated than what she wanted.
What would make her happy.
Maybe she would continue to be enough for him. The way things were now. She could calm him with her love. With her body. With her caring, nurturing devotion.
Maybe it would be enough…
Maybe…
The alarm on her cell phone went off.
4:45.
Time to get up.
Time to get dressed and slip away. She heard a gentle, discreet knock on the door. Arnold was signaling her to get moving.
"Mark…" she whispered in the dark, holding back tears.
"Hmmm?" He grunted, his eyes fluttering open.
"Mark, wake up. I have to go…"
* * *
It had been a relaxed, even frisky Saturday. David and Jordan had rolled happily around on their bed after breakfast, the awkwardness of the breakfast conversation forgiven in the haze of playful physical affection. They had finished, showered, and taken their first ride in the new car, stopping for Clif bars before arriving at the trailhead.
Jordan was over the moon to spend a Saturday with David, and it was a beautiful fall morning. Leaves were not yet turning or falling. But the air was crisp–not cold. And the sky was clear. Not a lot of people were on the trail, although they passed some groups of younger students along the way, a few older couples enjoying the morning. Some cute dogs.
True to her word, Jordan had grabbed her husband's hand on a deserted part of the trail and led him into a small copse of trees. She had leaned him against a boulder, knelt in front of him, unzipped and pulled down his pants, and sucked on him.
He was too nervous to finish, but Jordan really seemed to get a kick out of it. Giggling, face flushed, she would look up at him with bright eyes, then drop and bob her head against his lap as he relaxed against the sun-warmed boulder.
A quick trip to the grocery store, the couple stopped by Jordan's office space to pick up a packet from Professor Lukacz before returning home. David took a quick jet-lag nap while Jordan did some homework, then David emerged from the bedroom with a quip about whether he was allowed to take her to a nice dinner without raising questions about infidelity.
They went to Jordan's favorite fancy place–an Italian restaurant two towns over, and had a good talk about life, love, and work. David's business was still going well. Jordan's dissertation was ahead of schedule, but she had to respond to a famous professor's lecture in a couple weeks, and she was worried about it. David had stories from Brazil and Argentina, including some recipes he wanted to try for her while he was home.
Jordan felt much closer to him on the ride home, gently taking his hand in hers as she drove them home in the brand new, modest-but-sporty SUV. She parked next to their much-shabbier-by-comparison Camry, and they retired into the house.
David was checking work and business emails in the kitchen when Jordan emerged in lacy black lingerie. A black bustier with a lace front that obscured but did not conceal her nipples. A high waisted thong. Garters that clipped to the bustier. Her hair was tied back in a tight bun. David stopped typing mid sentence as she beckoned to him, and stood obediently to follow her down the hallway like an eager duckling.
"Tell me what to do, baby…" Jordan had purred as she shut the door behind him. "I like it when you tell me what to do."
"Okay…" David said nervously. "What do you want me to tell you?"
Jordan giggled. "If I wanted to tell you, I wouldn't ask you to tell me, would I?"
"No, no. Of course not." David coughed. "Well, um…I guess, uh…let your hair down?
Jordan wordlessly reached behind her head and undid her hair tie. Auburn hair tumbled down over her ears and across her shoulders. She looked innocently at David.
"Thank you…"
Jordan smirked. "No problem. Anything else?"
"Uh, yeah. Um…maybe take off your panties?"
She instantly complied, hooking her thumbs under the waistband and shucking the panties down before stepping out of them. The bustier and garter clips attractively framed the thin, soft, auburn colored mass of hair that rose above her cleft.
Jordan stood silent, expecting David to continue.
"Ummm…suck my dick?"
Jordan smiled. "Yes, master." Her voice was silk as she took the remaining two steps toward her husband, kneeling before him. Pulling him out of his pants, she kissed, then gently sucked him.
A moan escaped from his throat.
Jordan stopped and looked up, holding his rigid penis next to her face. "Does that feel good, master? Am I pleasing you?"
"Oh god, yes…"
She licked his tip as her eyes held his with an innocent look.
"Would you like me to do something else to please you, master?"
David began to tremble with excitement.
"Anything?" He whispered.
She smiled, then took him in her mouth again.
"Mmmhmmm…"
"Like, for real, or in fantasy?"
She shrugged, then pulled back, her lips creating a small, wet popping sound as he left her mouth.
"Is there a difference? Aren't I your fantasy girl? And aren't I right here?"
"Yeah…you know what I mean…"
"Mmmm…" she said, moving to fellate him again.
David felt a climax build. He took a deep breath.
Jordan looked up at him again, popping his stiffness out of her mouth.
"Why don't you tell me what you want, and we can decide if it's real or fantasy."
"Okay…" David groaned as she continued to please him with her mouth. He stayed silent while she worked, watching her hair sway sympathetically with the smooth, sensual movement of her head.
At last she pulled back from him and looked up. "You're not saying anything. Do you need my help, master?"
"Are you gonna help? How are you gonna help?" David's words started to slur in hazy delirium.
"I'm a good girl, and I know what my master likes…" she purred, taking him in her mouth again. She swirled her tongue easily around his modest girth, holding eye contact straight up past his torso into his sagging eyes.
"I can help master by giving voice to his fantasies. Would my master like me to name his fantasies?"
David moaned involuntarily, nodding.
Jordan looked down to sensually stroke her husband, then looked back up.
"David? Do you want me to fuck another man?"
David twitched, then convulsed, then grunted in a high tenor. The requisite drops of semen dribbled out of his body and dripped onto the floor under his wife's crooked grin. She still held his painfully stiff penis between her thumb and forefinger until his twitching subsided.
Holding the crooked grin, she stood up and kissed him gently.
"Stay there, David. Don't move."
He watched her turn, her exposed buttocks teasing him in his new clarity of mind. Jordan picked up her laptop from the nightstand, and opened a video, maximizing it to full screen. David could only just see the picture over Jordan's shoulder–it looked like a young woman sitting alone in a chair. Some kind of interview. The woman looked excited but nervous. It was paused at the beginning of the video. Jordan set it down gently on the bed, then walked to the other nightstand.
Opening the top drawer, she pulled out the large, brown, suction dildo David had seen when he arrived yesterday afternoon. Jordan flashed a smile at him, looked at the dildo, then back at him, setting the object gently next to the laptop on the bed.
David's heart began to race as she walked demurely toward him, still partially concealed by lingerie but with her crotch fully uncovered. She slid a finger between her legs, then lifted her hand to his nose. The clear aroma of her arousal wafted into his head, causing blood to race to his cock again.
She wiped the hint of moisture onto his upper lip, then took his hand and kissed him gently on the lips. She then walked past him, still holding his hand, and turned him around and walked him out of the room.
Stopping him barely on the other side of the threshold of the bedroom, she smiled and kissed him gently on the lips again.
Then, stepping backwards into the bedroom, she smirked as she closed the door between them.