The Story of Camille (and Jacob!)

[JacobChapin]

How It Began: The Unwilling (?) Cuck

We came home from the party late that evening.

My company’s annual black tie dinner had always been a big to do but after a particularly fabulous year, this year had been spectacular. The best hotel in town. A live band. Champagne, lobster and caviar served. The partners had been generous with our bonus awards earlier in the day and everyone had been in a mood for celebration.

I’d been with the firm for 25 years now. From the days when I was just a kid out of school, recently married. The plan had been to work a couple of years and then go to grad school but I kept making decent money and then there was a kid on the way and I never got off the treadmill of those paychecks. In the early years, I was doing great but sometime in my thirties, I realized that my career advancements were slowing. Not having that additional degree was going to keep me from becoming a partner but by that time, I had three kids and wasn’t in a position to go to school.

Not that I should complain. I did well. The firm did well. And I just finished off the last of my youngest kids' college payments. With this year’s bonus, Camille and I would be able to afford a very nice “empty nest” celebratory vacation. We’re thinking about a resort in Maui that I know is popular with the partners in the firm.

Camille looked fabulous that night, as she always does. When we first started dating, she’d been a collegiate athlete, a track star, who high jumped. She was tall, 5’10” and had been rail thin. When she wasn’t gracefully floating over the high jump bar, she had been a little bit awkward, maybe gawky. I was lucky to have met her and won her love then because after she left athletics, she started to mature and fill in. And she filled in amazingly. She went from a gangly young woman to a well-toned but curvy woman with a bright smile. She looked like a supermodel. After we had our three kids in quick succession, her body rebounded quickly and we even decided to do a little post pregnancy breast augmentation after the third. She became mouth droppingly attractive and she was all mine.

She never lost her sweetness, despite the world beginning to treat her like she was gorgeous. She was kind and thoughtful and genuinely nice. As the kids got older, she found time to take night classes to study photography and she volunteered as a part-time librarian at the kids’ high school. She stayed fit with yoga classes and got active with a group through Facebook which got together for week-long hikes through various national parks. She was busy, fit, intellectually engaged and a great wife and mom. Perfect. Maybe you’re thinking I’m biased because I’m obviously still so much in love with her? Guilty as charged but that doesn’t change facts of who she is.

And there’s been plenty of outside confirmation of her beauty. She turns heads when she’s out in public and over the years, men have approached her. Boys at school would develop crushes on her and there's been countless times that guys from her various activities have expressed interest in her. She’s always told me about them. I think to tease me a little or maybe just to let me know, as if I needed a reminder, that she’s still “got it”. Sometimes we would talk about these guys during sex and it would turn us both on. I’d even pretend to be one of them. Have her call me by their names. I’d imagine the scene of her with these men and it would make me cum immediately. But it was all just play. I understood that her desires were normal and I’d lusted after plenty of women myself over the years. We’re human. I knew she loved me too much to ever act on these desires just as I loved her too much to do something so foolish. I knew how lucky I was to have her to myself and I would never have been fool enough to jeopardize that.

The night of the company party, she looked particularly fabulous. I could feel the eyes on her as we entered. She had on a purple gown that glittered, one bare shoulder with a plunging neckline that showed off that cleavage. She’s been the most beautiful woman at that event for over twenty years and I think she wanted to keep the unofficial title. Honestly, I almost felt out of place beside her, like she was supposed to be with one of the partners. Everyone warmly welcomed her. I’ve known many of these people my entire working career and we’re friends. Lots of warm hugs. I noticed the partners flirting with her and more than one danced with her. She would make eye contact with me over their shoulders and I saw her once grab a stray hand and move it from her bum to her back.

I saw Greg dancing with her. Greg was the newest partner in the firm and the son of the firm’s founder. While he is a silver spoon, I begrudgingly admit that he works hard and is talented. Nonetheless, while they were dancing, he was being a bit too publicly aggressive for my tastes. It was later in the evening and perhaps she’d drunk too much herself and I could see she was struggling to keep his hands in place. I decided to cross the dance floor and save her but I had drunk a bit myself and as I was walking over, a partner grabbed me for a celebratory shot. After I downed it and went to find them, I couldn’t find them. I decided to try the restroom area and as I was standing at the urinal, in walked Greg who looked very surprised to see me but said nothing and went straight to a stall. As I left, I ran into her coming out of the ladies room. She looked composed but she said she wasn’t feeling great, that she’d drunk too much and needed to go home. I understood, it was late, and I agreed to call the car service.

In the car, I asked her what happened with Greg and she was very defensive. Asking me If I was accusing her of something. I told her of course not. I was just being playful. She said that I was slurring my words. That I was too drunk. I sheepishly said nothing. She softened eventually and she simply told me that she was tired and not in a playful mood.

When we arrived home, I stumbled out of the car and she needed to grab my arm to guide me into the house. The dogs had been taken care of by the housekeeper earlier, they stay in the garage at night, so we had the house to ourselves. We walked up the stairs to the bedroom and I was following her, I watched her tight ass wiggle. As we approached the bedroom door, my urges got the better of me and I made a lunge forward to grab her ass for fun but as I did, I tripped over myself and fell through the doorway and into the room and onto the floor.

“Damn it Jacob! Be careful!” she scolded.

I said nothing. I was in drunken, shocked confusion. I was on the bedroom floor on my hands and knees, my fingers gripping into the light shag of the carpet. I was staring at the dirty boots of a man standing at the foot of our bed. Then I heard her scream.

Before I even got a chance to look up, I felt the full power of a boot slam into my jaw. The force tossed backward and into a heap at my screaming wife’s feet. Then I heard the deep growl.

“Don’t you fucking move. You can go ahead and scream. Fancy neighborhood like this. Lots of trees and space. No one will hear.”

She was kneeling down beside me, my head cradled in her bosom. I felt blood oozing from my forehead and the world was spinning wildly.

Camille pleaded.

“Please don’t hurt us. There’s no need for violence. We’ll give you whatever it is you want. We have cash. Jewelry. There’s even a safe. I’ll open it for you. Just please, don’t hurt us,” she begged, now crying.

I felt him approach and I wasn’t able to react as he grabbed my arm roughly and with one arm, he tossed me over to our large, antique armoire. I tried to stand but felt another kick to my lower back and a horrible stab of pain. I screamed. Then I heard Camile scream and rush to me. There was scuffling and struggle. I looked up to see that she had taken him by surprise and was using the strap of her handbag in an attempt to choke him. He was cursing her but then he managed to get free and punch her in the gut and Camille made a terrible “oof” sound like the air had been knocked out of her and she fell to the floor, motionless.

“I told you bitch! Don’t fucking move!”

I felt a surge of anger and tried to jump and attack but he sidestepped me, grabbing my arms and forcing them behind my back. He zip tied me to the heavy legs of the armoire in just a few seconds.

I saw Camille shaking her head as she seemed to recover. She was now crying quietly and whimpering.

“What do you want? Please. We’re good people.”

The man grunted and then, he turned the chair by Camille’s vanity desk around and sat down heavily rubbing his neck. He turned on the desk light.

“You’re a lively one. Always have been a firecracker.”

I looked up at the man in the light. He was young, maybe 20. Heavy set and muscular. Tattooed arms and neck. He was wearing black jeans and a work shirt with the sleeves torn off. He was dark-haired and had a dark tan but he was a white caucasian. Unshaven, maybe a week’s growth. Unkempt hair but not long. And he had what appeared to be a knife in a sheath on his hip. He looked back at me and then Camile. I didn’t recognize him but should I have? I saw Camille staring at him too but also looking puzzled.

“You don’t remember me? Come on, Mrs. Chapin. Think harder.”

He knew her. And he expected her to know him. I watched her face grow from baffled to slow recognition.

“Frederick? Frederick Cooper? It can’t be. You’re…so much…different.” she said softly.

“Yeah, not the faggy wimp I was back in high school. When those bastards bullied me. When they took you from me,” he said nastily.

“Took me? What do you mean? You and I. We were friends. You were my Avid Reader.”

“Huh. I read all those fucking books because I had a crush on the hot librarian. Jesus those blouses you wore. Every boy in that school had jacked off to your cleavage.”

Camille was staring at him. I didn’t think I should say anything. Let her negotiate this.

“We were friends…” she whispered.

“Yeah, but when the jocks got a piece of you, you weren’t my friend then were you? Fucking whore…”

Camille then looked over to me. I didn’t understand her expression but under the extreme stress of the situation, I understood her confusion.

“He doesn’t know, does he? What a whore you are?”

“No..no..no..” she whispered.

The guy was insane. Had no grip on reality.

“Tonight you’re going to give me what you gave to them. You owe me for all of those years of dick teasing and then the humiliation from that day. I want everything they got and more.”

“I..I…don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. And let me be a little clearer,” he then unsheathed the knife. It was at least six inches long and gleamed in the pale light in the room. “You don’t cooperate, I start by cutting off one of little hubby’s ears.”

A look of terror crossed Camille’s face and she covered her mouth. It was like she was screaming at such a high pitch that it made no sound. Then she just began to cry but also nod yes.

“Good Mrs. Chapin. Stand up now. Dance. Strip. And make it good. I know you can do it.”

“Just please don’t hurt him.” she said as she stood up and timidly walked towards him.

“I don’t think I’ll need to. You’ll see to that.”

I didn’t know what to say except to support her. She was doing it for me, I understood that. “It's OK honey. I understand. Do what you must.” I said.

She looked back at me and nodded.

“Come closer Mrs. Chapin.”

She edged closer, standing between his parted knees.

“Now dance. Sexily. Seduce me.”

I saw her begin to sway her hips side to side slowly.

“Good. Good…” he encouraged. “Spin around now.”

She did as he commanded. Continuing to sway her hips while turning slowly around. I saw him reach up and lightly feel her hips and ass.

“Keep going. Strip now. You know what to do. Don’t wait for me to tell you…” he said in a smoother voice than he had been using. He slouched down in the chair and loosened his belt and was staring at Camille hungrily.

She was turned away from him and danced slowly slightly bent forward so her ass was out towards him. His hands slid up her thighs and squeezed her ass. She was staring at me in a blank way. The tears had stopped. Like she wasn’t really there. I saw her reach back and begin to unzip her gown.

She turned her head back and said, “Help me…”

He reached up and took hold of the zipper and unzipped down the length of her back but she used her arms to hold the dress up by the front. His hands explored her sexy muscular back. She then turned to face him.

He stared as she leaned in to him and let the dress drop. Her black lace bra was strapless and a front snap. I saw her hand move between her breasts and undo it.

“Oh God,” he gasped.

Did I hear her say “Hmmm”? Did she like his reaction?

I heard sloppy sucking noises and realized he was sucking on her breasts like an infant. Her right hand was in his hair, steadying him. She turned back then and looked at me but with that same blank look. Had she mentally detached herself from the situation?

While he went from one breast to the other, he unzipped himself and tugged down his jeans and underwear. His erection seemed to be at full attention. He was thick and maybe six inches. Very hairy. He reached up and took her hand and placed it on it. I saw her squeeze.

“Oh God, I’ve dreamed of this…” he said.

His hands slid down her slides, pulling the dress off fully to fall around her feet. She was still wearing her heels. His fingers slid over her hips hooking into her black lace panty.

She pulled back from him and took his hands and gently pushed them away. She then slid the panty down herself. Sexily as she swayed her hips down her long toned legs. She was shaven and his eyes widened seeing the prize. My prize.

His hands went to her lower back and yanked her body to him. I heard her gasp as his mouth dove into her preciousness with aggressive abandon. She looked back at me again but her eyes half closed. I could see it in her face. It felt good. But I wasn’t upset. I knew she was under duress and she would come to less harm if she didn’t resist and simply went with it.

“Oh God. Oh God.” Camille said.

Her fingers were in his hair, holding his head. I saw her hips moving, fucking his face. This continued for several minutes. I became aware that I needed to reposition myself. I was getting an erection.

Suddenly, Camille screamed and with two hands pulled his face in tight towards her body. I could hear him sucking hard. She was cumming. Hard. After a few seconds, she calmed and he pulled back with an evil grin.

“I always knew I could do that for you…” he said wickedly.

“Oh God. I can’t believe I…I’m so ashamed…” she said.

“Oh don’t deny who you are. Besides, look at that cuck hubby of yours. He’s enjoying this as much as you.” he said, head motioning to me.

Camille turned her head and her expression went from one of shamefulness to shock as she saw that our invader was correct. I was visibly hard. Now I was the one who was ashamed.

She started towards me but he grabbed her by the wrist.

“No you don’t. We’re just getting started. Get on the bed. On all fours. Keep the heels on.”

She turned back and nodded. She climbed onto the bed. Onto her hands and knees. Her tight ass towards us both. He shucked off his shirt, boots and jeans in the three seconds it took for him to walk to the edge of the bed, climb up on his knees and position himself behind her. Then I saw his bare cock slide into her with ease. She was dripping wet already from his oral favors.

I heard a constrained moan from her as if she was trying to hide that it felt good.

“That’s it Mrs. Chapin. That’s it. Ease back into me. Let’s do this dance.” he said as he began to move in and out of her. I watched over the next several minutes as he pounded her repeatedly like that. Slapping her ass, leaning over to cup her breasts, exploring her long back. While she grunted and pushed back, moaning. He called her terrible names. Whore. Bitch. Slut. I sat motionless. Erection in full. Head spinning and numb from the abuse I had taken and the oncoming hangover from the alcohol earlier in the evening.

He withdrew without orgasming and without saying a word of direction, he pushed her over onto her back and entered her again in a standard missionary position. Her legs spread. He said nothing now as he seemed to be more determined to reach his own orgasm. I saw him staring into her face. He leaned in and kissed her mouth, almost smothering her. But I could see she was kissing back. With tongue. He was speeding up, building up. Suddenly, she arched her back and her fingers dug into his back as a hard orgasm smashed her body. I’d never seen her cum like that. With an animal abandon.

“That’s it! That’s it Mrs Chapin. You whore! Cum on my hard cock!”

Then, as her orgasm subsided, he pulled out and on his knees he moved up to squat by her face. He roughly shoved his cock into her mouth and he leaned over and began to viciously fuck her mouth. I couldn’t believe that she was taking it so roughly and so deeply.

“I’m cumming baby. Get ready for me!”

He quickly withdrew as the first stream of cum ejaculated. He aimed it to hit her face. Onto her eyes. He came copiously. I’d never cum like that.

“Lick it up,” he commanded.

I watched as Camille stuck out her tongue and began to lick it off her face. She reached up and used her fingers to wipe and lick up the rest.

As I watched, to my utter shame, I felt a surge of my own intense pleasure. I came. In my pants. Without touching it.

“Hmmm…you were everything I had dreamed of…” he said as he stepped away from the bed. It wasn’t until then that I realized he had left his pants with the knife on the floor within reach of my legs. I could have gotten them. He got dressed.

“I suppose you already know that you won’t be telling anyone about this. I remember what happened back then. What you did. It would come out if I was ever put on trial. Think of the damage to you, your family, those boys and even the school.”

He stood and looked down on me and I saw that he noticed the wet spot in my trousers. He grunted and shook his head as he walked out of the room. I heard Camille crying quietly in a heap on the bed as I heard him leave the house.

“Sweety. Please. You need to cut me loose. We need to call the police,” I said quietly.

[JacobChapin]

Camille slid off the bed onto her knees, never standing, and crawled over to me. She was naked, sweaty and I knew, still filled with his cum. She used a pair of scissors from her desk to cut my ties and then fell into my arms, sobbing.

I held her to me holding her head. I didn’t know what to say to comfort her.

“We’ll get the police here. You know who he is. He’ll be in jail before sunrise.”

She gripped me tightly and through her sobs, I heard her saying “No…No…”

I knew it was a common reaction. Victims immediately just want to forget it all. Tell themselves it didn’t happen.

“Honey, we have to. We can get him. It has to be done when it's fresh. They’ll see our injuries. Make a record.”

“No…you don’t understand. He was right. I can’t. I can’t say anything.”

“What are you talking about?”

She then looked me in the eyes through her tears.

“I need you to do something for me. A big thing,” she said.

“Of course. Anything. Just tell me what.”

“Leave me. Pack your things and leave.”

“What? Never. Never.”

She looked down at the floor and spoke quietly.

“I can’t explain. I can’t explain it all. I’ve thought about this day. This moment. And I told myself that when it came, I would simply do the merciful thing. Leave you and say nothing. But I can’t do it. So you need to do it. Leave me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t explain. I can’t tell you…everything. The lies I’ve told. The charade of my life. You have no idea what a horrible person I am and I think the truth of it would destroy you. You have to believe me. It's the first honest thing I’ve told you in a long time.”

I started putting things together. The comments he had made. Now, she’s confessing something.

“Did something happen? Between you and him? Has he raped you before?”

“No..nothing. Nothing…with him..but…”

I waited for her to speak.

“There were…others...and he knew…he saw…and it wasn’t…rape.”

I nodded like I understood but I really didn’t.

“Jacob. I’m not the person you think I am. I’m a terrible person. I’m a liar. My life is a charade and it makes our life together a falsehood. I’m so sorry. I’m a deviant. A sinner. I can’t control my impulses. I’m…I’m a sex addict.”

I looked at her. Totally confused. The entire evening was all too much for me to absorb. I felt like a man who had been firmly standing on dry land and now was suddenly deep in freezing waters, drowning with no idea how he got there. But I knew I wanted to live. I knew I wanted her. I reached out for the only lifeline I saw.

“Tell me. Tell me everything. My love for you has no limits.”

[US31]

Please tell the rest of the story. That’s hot!

[JacobChapin]

“I don’t know where to begin…there’s a lot,” Camille said quietly.

“Let's start at the start?”

“Seven years ago…”

Mind blown. Seven years? How could I have not known her for so long?

“Do you have specific things you want to know?”

“Eventually, I want every detail. But it's already late and we’ve just had a traumatic experience. Tell me the big picture.”

“The big picture? What do you mean?”

“How many have there been?”

“How many?”

“Yeah, how many, it's not a difficult question. If you want to save our marriage, this isn’t a time to play games,” I said with a touch of impatience.

“I’m not being evasive but it's harder to answer than you might realize..what counts? Intercourse?”

“Just give me the full inventory.”

“I didn’t keep numbers. Intercourse…maybe 50? Maybe more. Yes, more. Oral sex or other…maybe a couple hundred more.”

“A couple hundred? What the fuck? How is that possible?”

“It's an addiction. I didn’t start out like this. There’s really only been one relationship that I would consider an affair. The first one. Where I had an emotional attachment.”

“Who was he?”

“Antonio. My therapist. You only met him once.”

I nodded. I did remember him. We ran into him together at the mall. She had been going to therapy. I never thought she was going through serious depression but I knew that she had been feeling down a lot. I thought of it as something she needed as the kids were growing up and she was struggling with how she wanted to spend her time as she faced years without them around. I remember he was surprisingly handsome. Italien-from Italy. Tall, dark curly hair. Very fit. I thought he looked like a personal trainer, not a therapist. And he had seemed to have really helped her. Somehow, after seeing him, she seemed to have turned out of her funk.

“OK. I’ll want to hear about him tomorrow. But that led to more?”

“Yes, he had a profound impact on me. He was something special and it really was positive, for a while, but somehow, after it ended with him, it all turned bad. He opened my eyes to my own sexuality. Taught me to take command of my own desires. We always understood that I would never leave you, that I was committed to our family, but I will admit to you now that I thought I loved him at the time.

After he broke it off, I was in tail spin. Do you remember the trip I took to New York for Cindy’s birthday? I needed that trip to get away. Get my head on straight. And it was there that I first decided to use some of the tools Antonio taught me. To take control of my sexual life.”

I continued to nod with understanding but without really registering. After all we had been through this evening, it was all too much for me to take in. I just let her continue.

“For a while, it was an amazing whirlwind. Tinder dating. Some random guys I met. My appetite grew. But at some point, I needed more and more and got less and less from it. I began a downward spiral. It was slow at first. Things had been adventurous and I would get a high. But like any addiction, I descended. The adventures had to get wilder. Then more frequent. And sordid and cheap and terrible and risky to the point that I did things that I regretted immediately afterwards. That’s where I am today. That’s who I am.”

She paused and looked down at the floor. We were still sitting on the floor by the bed. She had pulled a blanket off the bed to cover herself and she began to quietly cry. Despite everything I had seen and heard tonight, I still thought she was beautiful. I wanted to lick the tears from her face. To hold her. Her blanket didn’t cover her chest fully and when she whimpered, the bounce of her breasts turned me on. I had been terribly wrong to believe that I somehow had fulI possession of her but I also was aroused to realize that this empowered highly sexual woman was still mine to love.

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t make myself available to you. That you couldn’t share any of this with me. You didn’t need to protect me from your problems. I love you for who you are. Your total self. I won’t judge you but I need to know everything. Let’s clean up and get some rest. We’ll talk about it in the morning. We’ll do our normal Sunday morning brunch at Peary’s.”

She looked up at me, reached over and hugged me, her head under my chin. She sobbed.

“Thank you. Thank you. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you. But can you start to see now? Why he was right? We can’t go to the police. He knows things I’ve done. He could ruin me. Us.”

I said nothing but nodded dumbly. The blanket had fallen off her and my hand slid over her bare back. There were red marks from where she had been brutally slapped earlier.

I heard her sobbing slow. “Jacob?” she said in wonder as she noticed that I was now fully erect.

Her fingers slipped around my bulge, still in my trousers. She unzipped me and my erection popped free. I had already cum earlier but I was hard again which is something I hadn’t done in years. Without saying a word, she leaned over and took me into her mouth.

“Oh…” I moaned. The touch of her lips was intense relief. I leaned back and watched her. Differently than I had in the past. I realized how expertly she was sucking on me. How her lips pressed firmly. That she was taking me deep, all of my four inches, and I became aware that she could obviously have taken more. I thought of the cocks that had been in her mouth before. I thought of the man ramming his cock into her mouth earlier. That his cum was still drying on her face. I couldn’t stop myself. I began to cum.

“Its Ok. You can pull away. I’m going to blow,” I said. But she didn’t pull away but sucked harder. As I came, she sucked harder still, swallowing it all. When she lifted her head, she looked me in the eyes, moved her head to mine and kissed me deeply. I tasted cum.

[JacobChapin]

Please tell the rest of the story. That’s hot!

Thank you US31

[JacobChapin]

The next day, I woke up with a throbbing jaw, horrible back pain and a massive hangover. After I managed to get to my bathroom for my morning ritual, I sat and the events of the night before came to me like recalling a terrible nightmare. Only the horrible pain in my body confirmed the reality of the violence of the evening. I peed blood.

Still, I managed to get myself together for our normal Sunday ritual of brunch at Peary’s. After I dressed, I came down to see Camille sitting at our home breakfast nook with a hot coffee and a newspaper. She looked up and smiled, just nodding to the hot pot. I kissed her forehead, as I always do, and got myself a cup.

“Let's drive this morning,” is all I said. We normally would do the 30-40 minute walk down from our home in the forested hills of our small town but I was in no shape to walk. Camille was dressed for the cooler California winter weather. Tight jean skirt that extended down to mid-calf but with a longer slit up the slide and black leather ankle high boots with a tight pink sweater, tight around her chest, and short enough to reveal a bit of her tight belly. She looked hot.

If I needed confirmation of her hotness, the maitre-de and a waiter at the restaurant, two young men in their twenties, gave it as they both stopped mid-conversation as we walked in. They watched her every step as she approached.

“Great to see you this morning Camille! Happy Sunday to you,” said the waiter. “To you both, of course,” he added with a nod to me acknowledging my presence.

We sat and were served our standing order of mimosas. I spoke first.

“So, last night really all happened. And the things you told me. Those weren’t just drunken tales?”

“God no. I was sincere. I couldn’t tell you all those things again.”

“Hmm..but I did want to get to the next layer of detail. I need to know.”

“I understand.”

“OK. So. Let’s start with Antonio. He was the first? Just tell me everything.”

“You know I began to see him as a therapist. I had some things to work out. Things I’ve told you about my childhood. My father. His alcohol abuse. My own teenage eating disorders. My ongoing struggles with mental health.

Antonio did help me. He helped me distinguish between healthy and unhealthy appetites. What to accept about myself. What to forgive. And one area we discussed was my sexuality. I admitted to feeling unfilled. I had the feeling that I wasn't enjoying sex to its fullest, like others may experience.”

She stopped short then and looked at me uncomfortably. I nodded encouragingly.

“Just go on. Don’t worry about being sensitive,” I said.

“It was all very professional. Very doctor patient. But one afternoon, I was just having coffee and reading in a coffee shop downtown when he tapped me on the shoulder and said hello. He sat and we spoke in a more casual, friendly way and he told me about himself. At some point, we switched from coffee to wine. I suddenly realized that it was getting late and that I needed to get home or I’d get caught in afternoon traffic when he offered to make me dinner. He lived nearby. I don’t remember what I told you at the time. I probably called and you made dinner for the kids that night. Anyway, I went to his place.

I think there had always been a certain electricity between us. He acted professionally but there was a flirtation with the eyes and our smiles. When we stepped into his place, I turned towards him and we kissed immediately. It was passionate. Ripping each other’s clothes off right there in the doorway. I’d never behaved like that…”

She again paused and I just nodded encouragingly.

“I was there for a few hours. We never ate anything. He made love to me repeatedly. And I finally felt that sense of fulfillment that I had longed for. He was extremely good looking. Very fit. A great body. But that wasn’t it. It was a passion he had. A carnal aggressiveness. It just fit what I had desired.

When I next saw him for our regular session, we had sex instead of talking. This happened a few times before he officially ended any pretense of meeting for therapy and we would just meet at an apartment that belonged to a friend of his who lent it to us during the daytime when he was at work. He awakened an appetite in me. We did things you and I had never done. And that was just the beginning.”

We were interrupted by the waiter who took our orders. I watched more carefully than I have in the past. How he smiled at her. His eyes moved to her heavy chest when she looked down at the menu. How he behaved as if I wasn’t there.

“Go on. That was just the beginning you were saying.”

“Yes, one afternoon, his friend, Matteo, came home early. I think they probably had planned this. He was also Italien and around the same age. We had some wine and a little marajuana. I was sitting on a couch between them. Antonio was talking about my growing sexual adventurousness. He turned me so my back was to him and he began to massage my shoulders. My legs were across Matteo’s lap and he began to massage my feet. Pretty soon, they carried me to the bed and both began making love to me. Repeatedly. This started to happen often. I would go over and be with them both.”

I listened with an erection beneath the table. These two young Italian men ravaging my wife was like a movie scene.

“You’ve always complimented me and I could see that I was attractive but there was something about their lust for me that made me truly believe that I was sexy. Very sexy. I became aware of other men, too. That men were checking me out. That when they were friendly, they were often flirting. I had no idea before. Now, I see it all the time. Whenever I go out.”

“Do you see it now? Here in this restaurant? Men who want you?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Who? The waiter?”

“Yes, he’s easy to see. But there’s others. There’s a family to my right, a table over. The father and the teenage son have both been stealing glances. And there’s an older couple behind you. White haired old man. He’s been blatant. And there’s a group of young guys by the TV watching the football game. They all eyeballed me, one in particular.”

I don’t think my erection could have gotten any harder.

“OK. Go on about Antonio,” I said.

“And Anotinio liked to push limits. One evening, I think I told you I was out with friends, he took me to a sex party. Like an Eyes Wide Shut type of thing. I was nervous at first. A little sketched out. But by the end of the evening, I was having sex with total strangers. I had my first experience with another woman, although I wasn’t a big fan of that.”

“How many people did you have sex with that night?”

“Intercourse with two different men, not Antonio. And I gave oral sex to several others. And the one woman.”

“Several?”

“I think five.”

“How did you feel after that night?”

“Honestly, I felt wonderful. Like I had tapped into a part of me that had always laid dormant. It may sound crazy but it felt incredibly healthy. Yes, of course, I felt bad about deceiving you but I justified it by saying that I was happier now and that was better for you. For us. I know that’s dumb.”

“Not entirely dumb…”

“I was heart-broken when not long afterwards Antonio told me that he was moving back to Italy. His parents weren’t doing well. He missed his homeland. I understood. And he knew that I would never commit to him. I did love him, in a way, but I also always made it clear that you and our family would always be first for me.”

“I see. But that didn’t end things for you.”

“No. I saw Matteo a few times but he was different when Antonio wasn’t around. A bit of a jerk. So I stopped seeing him. I thought for a while that I got it ‘out of my system’ but when I went to Clara’s birthday weekend in New York, I went a bit wild and I realized it wasn’t out of my system at all. That I was going to need to pursue other activities.”

By this point, we had finished our brunches and were sipping on coffees. We were quiet for a few minutes, then she finally spoke.

“So I’m scared to ask this but I need to face the music. What are you going to do? Are you leaving me?”

“No!” I said forcefully and without hesitation. “I’m hurt that you couldn’t have shared this with me earlier. I’m willing to accept you for whomever you are. This may be difficult to explain but as weird as it may sound, the overpowering emotion I’ve felt is arousal. Yes, I’ve sat here in moments of embarrassment, anguish and anger, but I’ve also had a total erection. I can’t explain. More importantly, I somehow feel an intense love for you right now. I feel like you’ve been alone emotionally and I want to grab you and hold you tight and let you know how loved you are.”

I saw her eyes get wet before she spoke quietly.

“You don’t have to explain anything. Not even to yourself. One thing I’ve learned is to accept our desires whatever they may be. I can’t tell you how much I regret not telling you all of this sooner. I feel your love for me. I’m ashamed that I didn’t see how great the power of your love is,” she said, crying quietly.

I reached across the table and held her hand for a moment.

“You can tell me more later.”

“There’s a lot to tell.”

“How are the men in here now?” I said with a grin.

She looked up through her tears with a smile of her own. She dabbed her face dry with her napkin.

“The family is getting up to leave and father and son keep looking at me getting their last glimpses. One of the guys watching the game seems to have the most interest. He keeps looking across the room at me, trying to make eye contact. Not sure what he’s hoping for. The old man is talking to his wife but I see his eyes stray.”

“The old man. Can he see your legs?”

“Under the table, yes.”

“What are you showing him?”

“Hmmm…not much, but I could change that.”

“Do it.”

“Do you really want to go down this road?”

“I can’t believe it myself but I am trusting what you said. Accepting my own desires.”

I could only see her rise in her seat a little.

“OK, I shifted the dress so the slit up the side is wide open. Legs totally visible.”

“What’s his reaction?”

“He noticed immediately. He’s staring over his wife’s shoulder.”

“What underwear are you wearing?”

She snickered. “You go from zero to sixty pretty quickly. Unfortunately nothing too special today. White cotton panty.”

“Let him see.”

She stared at me in the eyes. “I just parted my legs and angled towards him. He’s bug eyed.”

I smiled. My erection was straining against my pants.

“Oh my God.”

“What?”

“His wife caught him!” Camille laughed loudly. “She turned quickly and followed his gaze, turned back to him and his face turned red. They’ve called the waiter and are paying now.”

I laughed as well. Maybe harder than I would normally have but we needed the laughter after all of the intensity.

“Should we leave as well?” she asked.

“What about the boy watching the game?”

“He’s cute. Hmmm…Maybe I could keep him for another day?”

“What are you going to do?”

She smiled and stood up from her seat. I thought I could make out hints of her hard nipples through the tight fabric of her sweater. She was turned on. And I was at least participating this time and enjoying myself. I watched as she walked to the bar while I waved down the waiter and paid our bill. She stood by the bar and was ordering when the young guy came up beside her. He was shorter than her but stocky and muscular like a weightlifter. Dark haired, pale white. I watched them talking and he said something to the bartender who returned with two shot glasses. They toasted and did the shots and laughed. I watched him doing something on his phone while she looked over his shoulder. She then leaned in and kissed his cheek goodbye with her hand resting on his muscular chest. She returned to me with a smile.

“He’s got my number. We can go now.”

I don’t understand why I felt an elation as if I had somehow “scored” too but I did. I stood up to leave and glanced over and could see the group of them looking over at us and laughing. Were they laughing at me?

[nnjcpl2002]

I think there is more to cum!!

[JacobChapin]

We decided to drive. I’ve always found Sunday driving on clear roads to be enjoyable. I drive a pricey BMW which makes the experience all the more pleasant. We thought we’d drive the curvy roads around the mountain to the coast. The sky was clear today and we thought the beach would be beautiful, even on a cool December day in northern California.

“OK, so after Antonio?”

“Yes, as I said, I saw Matteo a few times but he got possessive. Wanting some kind of relationship and he made me a little nervous. He was very different without Antonio around so I ended that. He was a little angry with me which I remember frightened me some but I never heard from him again. I learned something from that. To be wary of relationships. Men who are possessive.

Nothing happened again for a few months and I thought that chapter of my life was over and I thought maybe I would get away with never telling you. But then I went to New York for Cindy’s birthday. Not sure if you remember that.”

“Honestly, no.”

“We did the normal tourist things like museums and a show and nice restaurants. Remember that’s when I first saw Hamilton. On her birthday night, we thought we’d whoop it up a bit. Her friend who lived there, Kaira, came out with us and we did the bar thing. We were drinking wine and having fun when these three young men-Wall Street types-starting speaking with us. They were buying us shots. Tequila. What a mistake. I was smart enough to surreptitiously dump one here and there without drinking them but Cindy was going all in. After a while, she suggested we all head back to her place.

We were sitting on her couch and we all sort of had gotten paired up. I don’t remember their names. Cindy had a tall blonde guy with longish hair and I was with a guy from LA who was Korean who I did think was very handsome. Both athletic. I think Kaira sort of got stuck with the third guy who was short and overweight and balding. He was from India and I think that’s why Kaira, also Indian, got stuck with him. Anyway, we were on Cindy’s couch and we all started to make out. The room was getting pretty hot and I was wondering where it would lead when suddenly, Cindy sprang up and ran into the bathroom!”

Camille started laughing now.

“What happened?”

“She puked! Too many of those shots. She was a total mess. For the next hour, me and Kaira took care of her in the bathroom and put her to bed. Kaira then decided to head home.

But I was surprised to realize that the guys were still there. They had found chips and whiskey and were watching some big game on TV. The mood from before was ruined of course, but I joined my Korean guy on the couch. Pretty soon, we were kissing again.”

I drove without saying a word, hitting the curves hard on the mountainous road. I was a little erect. Thinking about her on that couch that night.

“It started to get kind of heavy when I felt hands begin to massage my feet and more on my shoulders. I pulled back and my guy was smiling. His two friends were around us and my guy was nodding encouragingly. He kissed my ear and whispered to me to ‘just let it happen.’. So I did…”

“Wow. Three guys at once. But you’d done that before hadn’t you? At the sex club?”

“No, those were successive not simultaneous.”

I nodded. Now driving with a full erection.

“I don’t know what kind of details you want to hear. I did it. All three of them.”

“Was there a moment when…ahem...you had…I don’t know how to say this politely…three cocks in you at once? And like…where?”

“There were a few intense moments. I very much liked having three mouths on me at once. My breasts and another down below. And yes…a moment when I was on top of my guy with one in my mouth and another in my hand.”

“So no..anal…?”

“Later that night I had that kind of sex but not when it was the three of them at once.”

“Explain.”

“So when it was the three of us, it was pretty intense. I had multiple orgasms. I was on top of my guy, riding him. He was very muscular with abs like a model. I kept feeling and squeezing those muscles. The blonde guy was standing beside us and he turned my head and I took him into my mouth. He held my head hard as he fucked my mouth and was calling me Mommy. The two of them came at about the same moment and that was so hot that I came, too. The third guy had been standing nearby and I used my hand on him and he came all over my face. After the first two came, they got dressed pretty quickly and left me half passed out on the bed. But the third guy, the Indian. He was still pretty charged up.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was still hard and he lifted me onto my hands and knees and he got behind. He was rough and aggressive but I liked it. Like I said, he was overweight and not particularly handsome but he had a ferocious sex drive and was getting me to cum repeatedly. Fucking me hard from behind. I felt like a sex toy. I really loved it. He had his thumb in my asshole and then suddenly, he pulled his cock out of me and into my bum. It hurt but I start to cum continually. ”

“Uhm…what about protection?”

“So when it was all of us, the guys all wore condoms but when we did anal…no.”

“Jesus.”

“I’ve been checked several times by the way. I’m clean. You’ve never been at risk.”

“OK.”

“A crazy thing about that night is that Cindy never found out what I did. She thought the guys left early.”

“Wow.”

“But that night made me realize that I had to accept what my sex drive is. That I wanted these adventures. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed it. Their lust for me. I felt like a goddess.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel that way.”

“You do. You really do and you do it in the most important ways. But sexually, I needed to feel it on a base level that I don't think any single man is going to satiate.”

“I see. So what did that mean?”

“It meant that when I got home. I was methodical about it. Thoughtful. I got online accounts. Made it clear that I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. That it was about sex only.”

Now I laughed. “I’m sure that worked pretty well. Your biggest problem is that guys will think it's fake or a ploy to lure them into a dark alley.”

“You’re kind of right about that. I did have to tone it down some.”

We were driving downhill now and past a bend, the expanse of the Pacific opened up to us. Stunning. We were quiet for a moment sharing that awe filled moment when you encounter overwhelming natural beauty.

I said, “Let's park and walk the beach. You can tell me about how Tinder worked.”

[JacobChapin]

We walked down the beach. With the winds, it was cool but refreshing. A few midday surfers and some dog walkers were along the beach but it was otherwise pretty empty. I know I sound repetitive but she looked beautiful as the wind blew her hair back and tightened her clothing to show the contours of her athletic body.

“There’s not so much to tell about my foray into online dating. It was awkward and silly. I matched people easily enough but no one was really who they claimed to be. Older men, men my age, were often divorced and lonely and broken in a bad way. Younger guys were generally easier to manage so I spent more time with them but at some point, they would become boring or predictable.”

“How many guys did you get together that way?”

“I think it was maybe fifteen or sixteen. Or twenty.”

“Dating?”

“Yes, although we weren’t really doing things other than meeting for coffee or a drink and going back to their places. I didn’t want to see anyone one more than once which was a surprising challenge to have. I thought guys would be OK with a one and done thing but they almost always wanted more. Married men might have been easier but I didn’t want to be a homewrecker or get involved in any messes.”

“OK. So who was the first lucky match?”

“He was a finance guy. Lives in the city. Late 20s. White guy. Thin. Marathon runner.”

“What was it like?”

“It was my first online date so I was nervous. Met in a coffee shop. Mid-afternoon. I was worried about being kidnapped or pranked or something terrible but he was a nice guy. He said I was the first online date he’d ever had where the woman looked better than her photo. He was into our age difference and that I was married. We went back to his place, just a block away. I think we were done and I was gone in thirty minutes.”

“That doesn’t sound so amazing.”

“No, it wasn’t amazing. But I was pretty happy. Giddy. It was so easy to make happen. And I never told him my real name or where I lived. No strings attached sex with a stranger. Felt safe. Used a condom. I thought I’d be doing it all the time.”

“But you didn’t?”

“The thrill of it died pretty quickly. And meeting up and just jumping into bed lacked a certain adventure or suspense. It was almost too easy.”

“OK. What kind of variety did you want?”

“Age. Race. Personalities.”

“Examples?”

“Some guys were blue collar construction. Some were tech bros. One actually was a surfer who lives over there.”

She pointed to a small mint green shack on a bluff just over the road we drove in on.

“Some were black men. Some Asian. White mostly.”

“I hate to be the guy who asks this but were the black guys..you know..bigger?”

She laughed a little. “I wasn’t measuring but I didn’t notice any patterns. I think it would be difficult to predict penis size by just looking at a guy. Some short, thin guys are big. Some big, tall guys are small.”

“OK. And ages?”

“The oldest was in his early 70s. The youngest was 18…” she said with her voice trailing off.

“18?” I said with a long whistle.

“Yes. A high school student. We met through Tinder on the day of his 18th birthday.”

“You’ll have to give me those details.”

“Yeah, I should. He led to other later events.”

“OK.”

“He lived about an hour away. Suburbia. I was swiping a bit randomly and I honestly didn’t realize his age at first. But he was funny and cute. He was a virgin. That kind of excited me. We agreed to meet at a cheap hotel about halfway between us. Well, we actually met at a Starbucks across the street and then went over.”

“Middle of the day?”

“Oh, no. You were camping with the kids. It was early evening, like 6pm.”

“I took him back to the hotel room and we were there until around midnight before he went home. I went home not long after. He was what you’d expect. I think he orgasmed 7 or 8 times. I just breathed on him and he would cum. But it was fun. I felt like I was playing a video game trying to hit jackpots,” She laughed. “I wanted to give him a night to remember. We had sex in several different positions and I taught him how to give me oral. It was fun.”

“And he led to later things?”

“Yeah, I made a mistake somehow. He figured out my real name and things. Kid with a computer. I never saw him again but he knew students at my school. He told them things and started rumors.”

“I see.”

“But that didn’t happen for a while. Over a year later before I realized.”

“OK, we can come back to that. How was the old man?”

“He was pretty great actually. A widower. Fun to talk with.”

“So he was the best one? Sexually?”

“I didn’t say that. No, of the Tinder dudes, I think the guy who lived here. The surfer. He was the best. Great body. Fun spirit. Patient.”

“You don’t want to knock on his door now?”

“No. I wouldn’t want to ruin the happy memory I have of the afternoon I was here.”

“That hits kinda hard. To think you were here on the beach with him. Tell me what happened.”

“He told me he’d be surfing that afternoon. Told me how to spot him. I came here and watched for a while. Eventually I waved and he came over. We went to his place. I remember watching him peel off his wetsuit and seeing his muscles and how limber he was. But also bruised up a bit with rough hands. Very masculine. Brown hair bleached by sun and salt. He stripped nude in front of me, very nonchalant and showered outside. He had nothing to be shy about. Then he made us pasta and opened a surprisingly nice wine. We ate and afterwards, we had sex. Several times.”

“Nothing to be shy about?”

“Yeah, of all of them, he was the biggest.”

“How big?”

I don’t know. Ten inches maybe. Thick.”

“You sure you don’t want to knock on his door now?”

She laughed. “You’re tempting me.”

“I’ll wait in the car.”

She shook her head no. “It's been years. He’d think I’m crazy!” she said and laughed before she started running towards the car. “I’m cold and I like my one-and-done policy. Let’s get going!”

I started to jog following her. I saw a surfer in the distance heading towards the mint green house and wondered if that was the ten inch man who satisfied my wife one afternoon.

[JacobChapin]

On the drive home, she fell asleep and left me contemplating the mind-blowing, life changing information I have been downloading for the past day. I have a hard time expressing the magnitude of the change in my fundamental understanding of my relationship with her. A relationship which is the very core of my life.

It was odd but I felt most angry or jealous about minor details. Her having dinner with the surfer, talking over wine. That bothered me more than him fucking her. Or just checking into a hotel with the kid. It was upsetting that she had been experiencing life without me. Not sharing big moments. She was dishonest. Deceitful. And incredibly good at it.

But I also couldn’t deny a reinvigorated passion. I always was attracted to her but my desire for her was tenfold what it was the day before. This “sex goddess” she wanted to be-I wanted her to be that, too. I loved it. And I can see that her dishonesty hurt her, too. She didn’t want to lie but I think she was trapped. She felt ashamed when she need not have been.

And regardless of anything, on a gut level, I wanted her. I didn’t want to lose her. In truth, I would do or accept nearly anything to keep her.

I didn’t press again that day. I thought she’d already shared a lot and we were both exhausted. It was like we had a monster therapy session. I let things go back to ‘normal’ and then, a few days later, I texted her from work and we agreed to meet at a wine bar we Frequently enjoyed for happy hour.

I got delayed at the office and arrived a few minutes late. She’d texted me that she was at the bar but I didn’t see her at first. I needed to walk down the length of the bar before I realized that she was at one of the bar’s high stools but I hadn’t seen her due to the two suited men talking to her. I said nothing, sats several stools away and ordered a glass of my favorite chablis.

I stole a glance or two but tried not to distract her. She was wearing a dark green dress, fancier than I would have expected for a casual glass of wine. The dress had a single shoulder strap and one shoulder bare. It fit well, snug around her chest. The dress length was at the knee but she sat cross legged with her much of her thigh bare showing through the dress slit. Her hair was up and she was made up. Dazzling is the word that came to mind.

The men were likely late 30s to early 40s, in suits. They had the vibe of businessmen from New York. Balding white guys in expensive suits stretched around their soft bellies. My guess was bankers. Very confident men. They were chatting away and Camille was laughing loudly in a way which wasn’t her true natural way of laughing. She kept reaching out and touching them. Their arms and chests. I saw the diamonds of her wedding ring sparkle. One of the men placed a hand on her knee and left it there.

I tried staring at my phone to act interested in anything else but what was happening a few feet away. I put in my earbuds and listened to music. I played Nirvana loudly. Anything to help me avoid getting an embarrassing erection in public. I felt like a horny teenager. About four songs in, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

One of the men, the one whose hand had been on her knee was standing before me. Camille was in her seat looking over and smiling.

“Ah yes?”

“Is she your wife? She says that you’re her husband.”

“Huh? Oh yeah. Hi dear,” I said and waved. “I didn’t see you come in. Sorry I was distracted.” I said waving my phone.

“Huh,” he replied. “I'm sure you came in after her, after us. I don’t how you could have possibly missed her,” he said looking at me curiously.

I flushed red and I saw Camille suppressing her laughter. I played the part of the clueless husband. “I ahhh, well, get distracted easily.”

He looked at me skeptically for a moment but then shrugged, turned away and walked out shaking his head. I saw his friend waiting through the bar’s front window.

I took my drink and sat down beside her. She was laughing now.

“So what was that about?” I asked.

“Oh that’s what you get for showing up late. They were just here when I arrived and were friendly and got me a drink. Why did you sit way over there?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was giving you or maybe them, a chance. Wanted to see what developed.”

“Well, we did exchange LinkedIn information. They seemed to think a school librarian’s point of view would be valuable on some project they’re working on. Pretty obviously bullshit but I went along with it.”

“Will you contact them?”

“I’m not desperate to. Maybe see what happens.”

“Well, I guess in that vein, I wanted to continue our talk. To learn more about your past. What happened after the dating app period?”

“Yes, well, after I stopped wasting time on social media, I decided to take photography classes. You remember.”

“Of course. That was for sex?”

“No but it created opportunities.”

“Of course…”

“The class was at night with about 15 students. I was the only non-full time student. Me and some kids. But I was popular as the “mom” of the group. They nicknamed me that.”

“I do remember that. It made me think they thought of you as…old,” I laughed.

“I think they did, but I made some friends. Two boys in particular.”


“What happened with them?”

“We would meet up and take photos. Around town or on nature hikes. But eventually, Devon said he wanted to take more photos of people. He started to ask me to pose. At first it was little things like we’d be on a hike and I’d sit contemplatively looking at a lake. Or maybe a close up of me sniffing a flower. But the photos became more about me. And increasingly sexy. Me leaning over a flower and sniffing but with my top loose and a lot of cleavage. They would joke with me about it but they pushed for more. I was posing in different outfits at their request and eventually lingerie.”

“God that’s hot. Do you have those photos?”

“Yeah, I can share the google file. Here, just a second.” She fiddled with her phone for a few moments before handing it to me. I was stunned. My wife looked like a Victoria’s Secret model with her boobs spilling out of sexy lingerie or leather outfits.

“I see you like,” she said with a nod to the bulge growing in my trousers.

I handed her back the phone. “Any male would.”

“One day, Lin, the other guy, suggested that he take photos of me and Devon together. I was in a bra and panty and Devon in a pair of boxers. When Lin suggested that Devon show his hips, he pulled them off completely and openly had an erection as we posed together. Lin was instructing us how to pose. Lean back, turn your head, wrap your hand around his cock….

Of course I did it. And I did it when he said to use my mouth. After I did that, Lin put down the camera and they both took me.

We started to get together after every class. Sometimes with just one of them. I was pretty happy with that arrangement. Both were nice guys. It was relaxed. Both with high sex drives.”

“That sounds ideal.”

“The problem was that I only saw them 1-2 times a week and something was changing in my appetites. The need for more. I think I started to feel like I needed sex to feel good about myself.”

“I see…”

“So that’s when I joined that hiking group through Facebook. I tried to tell myself that it was about making friends and pursuing a healthy activity but I was lying to myself. I looked closely at the group's photos. I saw the guys in it. I thought about the possibilities for sex.”

“Wow.”

“Almost predatorial really. And it worked…”

“I don’t doubt it.”

“After the very first hike, a local trip, I hooked up with one of the guys at his place. Then the next time, a different guy. I quickly got a reputation.”

“Fuck…that’s hot”

“So you know I took several trips. To Yosemite. Overnights. Those were me and groups of my guys. I was fooling around with all of them.”

“Like a gangbang?”

“More like I was being serviced by a half dozen guys over a 3-5 day hike. They were all happy to be in my harem.” She was smiling now.

“Thrilled to get what they could.”

“But it was increasing highs and lows for me. I would come back from a trip like that and suddenly not know where to put my sexual energy on days when I had not arranged anything. I went back to that sex club that Antonio introduced me to but I didn’t really like those guys.”

“So what did you do?”

“I started taking more risks. Things started happening with guys I know I shouldn’t be with. Relationships that I knew might hurt you. I think I was wanting to get caught.”

“Oh. What did you do?”

“People you know. Some of my friends’ husbands. Some of your friends. Your coworkers…”

“Holy shit…my friends have fucked you? Guys from work?”

“Yeah. I mean, not all of them. A couple. A few. ”

“Wait. I need a moment to process before you tell me any names.”

“Of course…”

[JacobChapin]

I breathed deeply. Shaking. Scared. My friends? My coworkers? And I didn’t know? My image of how I appeared to these people was so far from what I thought it was. But how bad could it be?

“OK, tell me.”

“Remember when we took that wine weekend trip with Yvonne and Piper?”

“Yeah…”

“Piper. It first happened at the winery. After the tastings, we left you and Yvonne at the table to wander the vineyards a bit and we were all over each other when we were alone. We did it right there in the field. And then that night, we snuck out to meet by the resort’s pool.”

“My god, does Yvonne know?”

“I doubt it but I think she sensed something. We’ve barely spoken since then. I didn’t want to be a home wrecker and I told Piper that and he was pretty clear he just wanted a little fun. It was a bad decision by me. But that didn’t stop me from doing it again.”

“With?”

“When your friend Reid spent the night at our place. I justified it to myself because you said that you hadn’t seen him in years and that you didn’t really like him. I thought it would be OK but I know that’s not true.”

“Jesus that guy? I actually kind of hate him. I think he wanted to see me to repair bridges. He kind of bullied me when we were kids.”

“I can kinda see him being that type.”

“But that didn’t stop you..”

“I thought you were friends. Not close but friends. You never mentioned any bullying.”

“I was ashamed.”

Silence for a moment. I’d needed time to process this. That fucking guy…

“Your friend Yoshi refused.”

“Really? That’s a surprise. He’s a ladykiller.”

“Yeah, I thought he’d be easy, too. And he’s hot with those Keanu Reeves good looks but when I came on to him last New Year’s eve, he shut me down hard. Said he could never do that to you. That turned me on a lot.”

“Want what you can’t have?”

“Don’t we all?”

“I’ve always had what I wanted, or I thought I did.”

“I’ve never denied you. Have you ever wanted and not received?”

“No, its just, I thought it was exclusive.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head to clear it. “OK, let’s go on. Who else?”

“Some of the guys at your office. Jarvis. Lawrence. Greg.”

“Greg? Last night Greg?”

“Yeah, it happened with Greg last night.”

“And Jarvis is a partner. When was that?”

“You know I used to spend time with his wife Wendy. We played tennis. I was at their home one afternoon and he came on to me in the pool room.”

“That old bastard.”

She shrugged.

“And Lawrence? The guy from IT?”

“He might not be a bigwig in the firm but he’s obviously hot.”

“Yeah, he played Div 1 basketball.”

“He was one which fit the stereotype.”

“Huh?”

“You know, about black guys and…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, gigantic.”

“Fuck.”

“What happened with Greg last night?”

“You saw us dancing. He was whispering things to me. He knew about Jarvis and Lawrence. I didn’t actually want to. I was afraid of being caught in public. Caught in front of everyone. He told me to meet him near the coat room. He knew about a storage closet. He was telling me that he’s wanted me for years. How all the men who work with you talk about me. He went down on me. Kneeling there while I stood. Then he stood, lifted me, pushed me against the wall and fucked me. Bare. He’s not really my type but it was intense. I came hard.

“Jesus.”

“We’re sort of jumping ahead of things.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was taking these chances. Making risky decisions. I was becoming more and more of a slut when I did something really bad.”

“What?”

“Your nephew James…”

“My god.”

[JacobChapin]

We left the bar and were at dinner. A small narrow restaurant in the city with brick walls and lit by candles. Farm to table American faire. Wine. I’d become more acutely aware than ever of the attention she was receiving. From other men in the restaurant. The waiter. Somehow I think she was encouraging them. She must have been looking at them, too.

We sat down and made small talk and ordered dinner. After we got our wine, I took a deep breath and began to ask more questions.

“So James? How did that happen? He’s such an odd kid. Although I guess you guys have always been buddies. Thought he was mine, too.”

“He might be odd but he’s straight and a male.”

“When did this happen?”

“Remember when I took Kate to visit colleges? Up in Seattle?”

“Yeah.”

“She left me to spend the night with her friends but James is at U Wash across town and a freshman so I thought I’d drop in on him. You're right, we’ve always been buddies. He got me into reading sci fi and I thought we could talk about the new series I was reading. I texted him and he said he had friends over but that I could stop by.

I found his dorm room and he had two friends there and they were drinking hard alcohol and playing Dungeon and Dragons. I had brought a couple of pizzas and they invited me to play with them. So I did. It was fun. His friends were like him. Nerdy kids. After a while, we switched to playing Truth or Dare.”

“Ah, your idea?”

“No, one of his friends.”

“Of course.”

“I was feeling pretty tipsy and under the truth questions, one of his buddies blurted out that James had told them he had always had a crush on me. That I was number one on his masturbation list.”

“Wow. He’s so quiet and inward focused. I didn’t think he noticed anyone else.”

“Apparently he noticed me. I was embarrassed and he seemed mortified but I laughed it off and we all did a shot together.

On the next dare, they wanted to take another round of shots…but off my belly. I accepted. For someone like me, a sex addict, having these young college boys licking my belly had me on fire. It was bizarre seeing James licking my belly but I could also see how intense he was. How much lust he had for me. I was going crazy inside.

So when they dared him to kiss me. I turned to him and kissed him. Deep. He was in shock, almost motionless, as my tongue went into his mouth.”

I was immediately hard as a rock picturing her kissing my nephew.

“Then of course, the other boys wanted kisses. And I did that, too. His friends were more aggressive with their hands and it was devolving quickly but then one of them, George, stopped everything. These are not the most socially graceful guys and he just bluntly said that he wanted to know my intentions. I told him I didn’t have any. That I was just seeing how the evening developed. Then he told me that all three of them were virgins and none of them would be comfortable losing it in a gangbang so if I wanted to have sex, it would have to be one on ones.”

I laughed. “Mr. Smooth.”

She laughed, too. “Yes, but cute in his way. So I said OK. Who’s first?”

“They all agreed that it should be James. So I took his hand and led him back to his room. He was adorable. Nervous. He was worried about you but I assured him it was alright. He was protesting but I was removing my bra and that quieted him down. I undressed him and leaned over and took him into my mouth. That’s all it took. He came just like that. Apologizing as he came. We cuddled a little afterwards and I asked him if I should take care of his friends. I was willing to just stay there with him but he told me that he wanted me to be with them but he wanted me to come back to him afterwards and I agreed.

I put on one of his shirts and walked to the next room. That boy, I don’t even remember his name, was waiting for me in bed and naked. I slid into bed and I lay next to him and he slid on top of me immediately. He was already hard and was wearing a condom. We did it missionary and he came pretty quickly. We cuddled a bit and he was still hard. I slipped under the covers and gave him a blow job. After that, I went to the next boy.

He was in his room in his boxers and I sat with him on the edge of the bed and we chatted a little. I remember his erection poking out of the hole in his boxers and he was trying to cover it but I assured him that he had a nice one and pulled down his boxers and pushed him onto his back. I climbed on to him and took him into me. He kept repeating “Oh shit oh shit” as we began. He lasted longer than the others and was much louder. He screamed “Fuck!’ when he came and that made me come, too.

Then I went back to see James. He told me that he had listened to what I had been doing and he wanted to know what had happened. I told him and he seemed to get turned on by that. When he heard about me riding his friend, he said he wanted to lose his virginity that way.

I remember how he looked at me. The look of lust but also disbelief. I eased him onto his back and he was already erect again. I stood beside the bed naked and then slipped in. I got on top of him and took him into me pretty easily. I was already so wet. He commented that my breasts were beautiful so I took his hands and placed them on me. I rode him pretty slowly. He’s normally so quiet but he talked while I fucked him. Told me about a time when we were at a family picnic and he was lusting after me. How he once masturbated from a window while watching me outside. How he’d always enjoyed hugging me. When he came, I came, too.

I stayed the night there. Falling asleep only to be awoken by his erection against my hip. He fucked me from behind and on the edge of the bed. I gave him oral again. Before I left in the morning, he had come five times. As I was leaving, the other two boys came out to say goodbye. I took them each back to their rooms and gave them blow jobs.

As I left the dorm, I was hungover, tired and sore but I felt satisfied. But later in the day, after I met up with Kate, I began to feel guilt again and fear of being caught. I was ashamed of myself and hating myself by dinner. By the next day when I was back home and at work, I was an emotional wreck. The insanity of addiction is that I could only see one way to feel better and that was to do something else even more stupid and risky.”

“What did you do?”

“At school. With students. Legal age but still, life destroying risk.”

“My god. I will need to hear about this but let’s go home.”

By this point, we’d finished our desserts. I paid the check and we walked out into the night. We held hands and I felt the old love. The safety and security of it. Was I a fool to still feel this way? To still have a feeling of trust in someone so dishonest? I couldn’t explain it to myself but I did believe her. That she loved me, that she valued our relationship and our family.

[JacobChapin]

We were lying in bed on our sides with her backside cuddled up into me. Spooning. I squeezed her tightly in my arms.

“OK. Boys at school?”

“It happened on the last day of school at the very end of the day. It was a warm spring day and everyone was relaxed. Our minds on summer. I remember my outfit. A one piece summer dress. Bright yellow and flowery. Bare shoulders but I had a thin white sweater to cover up. I very much had sex on my mind.

You have to realize that I was almost predatorial. I wanted sex. From a stranger. I wouldn’t even really say to make me feel good about myself anymore. Maybe to punish myself. It's hard to explain. But I still didn’t really think of the students. I had other teachers in mind. Some who had flirted with me over the years. But that’s not what happened.”

I said nothing, just hugged her tightly to encourage her to speak.

“I was chatting with Frederick. The man who attacked us. Back then, he was a quiet boy. Nerdy. I know that he doesn’t seem like it could be possible but he was. A bit of a loner but I was a bit like that, too, in high school. Socially awkward. Not graceful.”

“You were the immature duckling who became a swan..” I said.

“You continue to be so kind to me. I feel so blind not to have seen your love….”

“You do now…go on…”

“He was only a junior and so we were chatting about his summer plans and his summer reading list. I later learned that his family moved away that summer and so I never really expected to see him again. He got up to leave and he gave me a big warm hug. It was totally innocent. Despite my depravity, I recognized him as a child. But there was a table of older boys there. Seniors. Who were watching us.

They came over and started calling him names. Even as we were hugging. I was taken aback. They were obviously his bullies and I yelled back at them. But my threats were empty and they knew it. They were on the cusp of graduation and were on their way out. These weren’t college bound kids. They were a rougher group. I still don’t know if what happened next is something they planned or it just happened. They weren’t typically in the library so I guess they had an idea.

They started to call me names too. Tramp and whore and slut. I was picking up the phone to call security and the front desk when they stopped me. They shouted a name. The 18 year old boy I told you about that I met on Tinder. The boy I drove to meet up with randomly. Somehow he had figured out who I was. He had friends at our school and he had let them know what happened. What’s more, he had distributed photos. They all had them. Five of them. I remember how ashamed I felt in front of Frederick. We had had a sweet innocent relationship and it was shattered.

I asked them what they wanted. They told me that I knew. One of them took my hand and led me back to a little reading room in the library. They told Frederick to watch the door or they would hurt him. When he looked at me, I just nodded to him with shame.”

She went quiet and I let her pause.

“It sounds painful. I understand if you don’t want to give too much detail. This sounds like blackmail. Assault.”

“The thing is, I can’t really say that. Maybe it was like that as they pulled me back there but not by how I behaved with them in there. That demon in me was unleashed and I was with these young guys and they had what I thought I wanted and needed. I think we were in there for an hour. I think all of them came multiple times. I was like a craven animal. I even remember one of them saying that he’d had enough already when I pulled him in and took him into my mouth again. I wanted to make him cum again. I couldn’t stop.

Afterwards, they left me on the floor. Exhausted. They had gone from exuberant and laughing and joyful to quiet. I think I shocked them. I think they felt some shame, too. I don’t even remember what happened to Frederick. He saw it all but was not allowed to join.

After that, I couldn’t see myself as anything else but a slut. A whore. I hated myself to the point where I would have been suicidal but somehow I had managed to keep our home life stable. But for that, I don’t know what I might have done.”

I squeezed tight again. I couldn’t imagine the world losing the preciousness of her flame.

“I found new low depths then.”

‘Lower? How?”

“Prostitution.”

[nnjcpl2002]

An excellent story. Clearly, you have the instincts of a real cuckold. This makes me think that eventually you will becum personally involved in the action! Please continue to share.

[JacobChapin]

An excellent story. Clearly, you have the instincts of a real cuckold. This makes me think that eventually you will becum personally involved in the action! Please continue to share.

Thank you. I appreciate the comment.

[JacobChapin]

I was stunned. My wife prostituted herself? How? With who? I didn’t know what to say. We lay there in the dark, spooning, and I froze.

“Did we hit your limit? Is that too much for you?” she asked quietly. “I can feel that you’re tense.”

“No, it's OK. Honestly, I’m stunned but it's OK. You just keep telling me shocking things and it knocks me down but I am OK. I’m OK.”

I wasn’t sure If I was telling her or myself. My mind was spinning as I lay in the dark. I desperately needed to say something.

“You know I’m libertarian. I’ve always been OK with it. If both parties are free to choose. Not forced.”

“That’s your political view but not how you really feel.”

“I guess I’ve never been tempted to pay for sex. I never understood the appeal really. Of course I didn’t imagine the women to be as beautiful as you.”

“I know it's hypocritical but I really would be disappointed if you did that.”

“That brings up a topic.”

“Hmmm?”

“So what does all this mean for constraints in our relationship…for me?”

“I guess I’m not in a position to forbid anything. We’re open. But…”

“But?”

“It may be incredibly unfair but I don’t like the idea of sharing you. I feel like I can fully satisfy you and still need more for myself. I still want some version of a storybook marriage. I want to be the undisputed queen.”

I felt put out a little but the truth was that I was willing to accept this.

“Look, I don’t imagine starting to see another woman. I couldn’t handle it. You’re my obsession.”

She said nothing but smiled and I felt her squeeze in tighter to me.

“So tell me how this worked. How did you engage in selling yourself?”

She was quiet a minute before speaking.

”The first time was sort of by accident.”

”How do you accidentally engage in prostitution?”

”So remember the girls' weekend in Miami I took?”

”Yes.”

”The other ladies really just wanted a spa weekend. Which was fine but I was in the mood for more. So one night, I was dressed to go clubbing but they wanted to go home after dinner. They wanted to sleep.

I was a little miffed and went to the hotel bar and had a drink. I ended up chatting with a businessman. Older. A little overweight. But funny and nice. He bought me drinks. I thought he was picking me up. But then, as he got up to leave, he leaned in and whispered that he understood the going rate and gave me his room number.

I was a little shocked. He thought I was a whore. I mean I was dressed sexy. A skirt and glittery blouse but I didn’t think I looked like a whore. But then again, I was dressed like that. Alone. At a hotel bar. But as I sat there, the idea began to turn me on. So I did it. I walked up to his room, knocked on the door and he answered just wearing a towel around his waist. There was cash on the bureau that he nodded towards. A thousand dollars. I took it and put it in my purse and then I did it.”

”What did he have you do?”

”It was actually pretty tame. I danced. Stripped sexily. Gave him oral but just enough to get him excited enough for sex. Then I did it. He wanted several positions. He was very complimentary. I was particularly enthusiastic, he said.” Camille started laughing now.

”What’s so funny?”

”I was getting paid to do what I loved. Just like they always say you should,” she said smirkingly.

“Did you orgasm?”

”I did. He said he’d never seen that before.”

”God I hope you used condoms. The guy was a frequenter.”

”Yes. It wasn’t even a question.”

“So was that it for prostitution?”

”Oh. No. Just the start.”

I shook my head. Not so much because of my shock but because I can’t believe the extent of my own naivete.

“I found it thrilling but it became more of a hobby than a business. Obviously I didn’t need the money. In fact, I gave everything I earned to a charity for disadvantaged women.

I just used regular social media dating. I fired up Tinder dating again. There’s symbols people use to signal within a profile. A dollar sign in place of the letter ‘S’. Or a ‘request for roses’. It was incredibly easy and I was able to filter to what I saw as the more desirables.”

”How often did you do this?”

”Never when I was home. But when I went away on girl’s trips. I actually did make up a trip.”

”What?”

”I told you once that I was in Vegas for a conference for work. That was a lie.”

”You prostituted?”

”By far my busiest weekend.”

”How many?”

”Three nights and daytimes. Only 5-6 a day. I could have tripled it.“

”Holy shit. Were any of them notable?”

”Mostly no. Most of them blur into one. I have to admit that I found it thrilling. I didn’t even really discern too much aside from feeling safe. Their looks were irrelevant.”

”Mostly no? Some were different?”

“Kink exploration. I was surprised how many guys wanted to be in pain. They had equipment and wanted to be hurt. Sometimes badly. That never turned me on but I did it out of interest. The ones I liked best were guys who just seemed so thankful. My vanity and my ego wanted to be worshipped. They loved my story the best when I told them the truth. That I was a married mom and a sex addict…”

“Jesus…so…do you still do this?”

“No. I don’t. Like everything else, after a while, the thrill wore off and there was an incident. Something that set me straight for a while…”

“What happened?”

“Some guy I met online. I went to his hotel room. He seemed nice and then he was doing me from behind when he took off his condom and held me tight and started screaming names at me and telling me he was HIV positive. I tried hard to pull away but he was too strong. I think that’s the only time I felt like I had been raped.”

“Holy shit.”

“I don’t know if he was fucking with me or I am just lucky but I’ve tested since then and I’m clean. Thank God.”

“Yeah”

“I walked around terrified for a few weeks and got tested repeatedly. I think that’s the closest I came to confessing to you. But instead, I decided to enter counseling for sex addicts. It's like AA. But that was disastrous.”

“What happened?”

“I fucked every guy in the recovery group.”

[JacobChapin]

We got out of bed and after a coffee and light snack, we dressed for a hike in the hilly woodlands around our home. She looked great in her green tight yoga pants and black sports bra top, covered by a light white sweatshirt. She had her hair in a ponytail that bounced as we walked.

I was trying to keep a stable perspective on my life. The very basis of my marriage-the core of my life-was not what I thought it was. Yet, listening to Camille pour out these tales and unburdening herself of years of guilt over her dishonesty, I continued to feel pity and disappointment, not anger and betrayal. I wasn’t upset over her hypersexuality, I was upset that she had excluded me, us really.

“I don’t understand how a recovery group would advise against you telling me the truth,” I asked.

“Oh, they did advise against that. I was working towards it. I just wasn’t strong enough. I was frightened. My sex life had devolved into something terribly unsatisfying. My time with you and our family was the only stability in my life. I couldn’t risk it. I don’t know what I would have become.”

I nodded with understanding.

“So the recovery group didn’t help?”

“No, not at all. One of the problems with sex addiction is that you can’t get away from the temptation. At AA meetings, they drink coffee and stay away from booze. But at a sex addicts meeting? We brought our bodies and the temptations were too great.

The worst part is that these men were farther along the path to hell than me. So they showed me the way. One of them introduced me to glory holes and they….”

We were hiking up along a thin trail and passing a group coming down the opposite way when she said this. The group looked like two couples and the two men both turned their heads quizzically at the mention of glory holes from the hot blond. You could read their faces. Did they hear that right?

“Those are real? I thought those were just made up in porn movies.”

“No, they’re real. They brought me to one that’s in a gross porn old porn shop beneath the 101. Not far from that great little Mexican grocery mart that you like.”

“I always wondered how places like that stayed in business with porn so available online.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know but they should have paid me a commission. I became a Thursday afternoon regular.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you were used to me being late on Thursday afternoons because I was coaching the school’s chess club. Well, funding for that got cut a while back. But I never told you. Instead, I began spending Thursday afternoons there. And guys began to become aware that I was going to be there. I began having a crowd.”

“Jesus. How many? What kinds of guys? What would you do for them?”

She stopped hiking for a moment, pulling to the side of the trail as a man with two large dogs was walking towards us. We drank water bottles and the morning was becoming warmer as the sun rose. Camille unzipped her sweatshirt top and pulled it off, her breasts pushing forward. The dog walker’s head seemed to involuntarily swivel and stare at her cleavage for a moment as he passed. She smiled at me and winked as he continued on pass.

“The place is kind of nasty but they have a bouncer. Halley. He’s a huge muscular black man that used to play defensive lineman. He keeps everyone in line. I’m usually there for like an hour and half, maybe two hours. I get a bunch of guys off. The only one that I have sex with is Halley at the end of shift. I do feel like it's a part time job I have, even if voluntary.

Halley shows me my booth. Since I’ve become a regular, they actually have one that is designated as mine and they keep it clean and don’t let anyone else use it. For the most part, I just sit in a chair and guys put their erections through a hole into the room. Mostly, I just use my hand but sometimes, I will throw a condom on it and give oral. They try to give me money but I never accept it. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I don’t know why I enjoy it. It's like the last thing that gives me a thrill. When it's time to go home. I tell Halley and he comes into the room and I take care of him. For him, I’ll do anything. He may be the best fuck I’ve had.”

“I notice that you are using present tense.”

“Yes. You’re caught up now. This is still happening. I went last Thursday.”

“And Halley fucked you?”

“Actually, he just wanted a blow job this week. But he’s huge. Nearly choked me to death.”

“Tomorrow is Thursday.”

“Yes.”

“Will you go?”

“I’m sorry…but yes.”

“Can I go?”

She stopped hiking. We had reached a vista that looked over the wooded hills and in the far distance was the city skyline.

“What do you want from coming?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe I would join the line. Maybe just watch. I’m not trying to stop you.”

She turned to me and put her arms over my shoulders, her body pressed against mine. She was sweaty and I saw a bead of sweat roll down her neck into her ample cleavage. My semi erection nudged against her.

“Are you saying that you are open to becoming one of those couples? Swingers?” she asked with a smile.

“I’m not interested in other women. I don’t want to be involved with other couples. I think the nomenclature would be a hotwife and cuck relationship.”


“How far do you want to go with that? How kinky?”

“Do I have to know that now? Maybe we can explore it? See how it goes?”

We stood together there on the sunny vista overlooking the beauty of the state park. Our skin warmed by the sun. She looked me in the eyes with tears of happiness. Camille leaned in and kissed me with an earnestness and passion that I don’t think I’ve felt from her in years. I kissed her back deeply. All of the sincerity and passion of my soul expressed in that kiss. I don’t know what’s going to happen for us but I know that we’re going to do this together. We are one.

We are in love.

End Chapter One.

[markhazard]

Great story. Hope it continues. Let us know if a second chapter is coming.