Dear B,
I cannot believe that we've been together for twenty years. Our relationship and marriage have taken me to places I could never have dreamed of. I'm truly hopelessly devoted to you, and I know that you are the same to me. Just yesterday, you sent me a text with a picture-- your eyes shimmering in the light-- saying you were mine. I'm so thankful.
Which is why I need to apologize for something and correct it. Ten years ago I panicked. We had experimented with swinging a bit, when we met Will. Will was the first truly dominant man you had ever been with and for the first time I went from feeling like a stag to a cuckold. The first time was a threesome, but I finished...early. The second time you went alone to his place and I got to see pictures of your spanked red ass. The third time I sat at home touching myself hoping you'd be back soon.
All of that was fine, though it got tougher, until I saw the email between the two of you. I didn't mean to snoop, I just saw it up on your laptop and couldn't resist. I learned that he was asking you to hold off on fucking for a few days before you saw him. You wondered how I'd react and Will talked you into it. "He wants this, he just doesn't know it yet," he told you. "In all of my time in this lifestyle, I've learned that some people are dominant and some are submissive. You and your husband are both submissive, and that won't change no matter what." "Don't worry, I'll coach you through teaching him to accept it. Your marriage is important, but deep down this is what you both really want."
A teary argument followed and you ended things with Will. We stopped swinging, started our family and got lost into a rushing river of tee ball games and birthday parties.
But...here's the thing, Will was right about all of it. Over the last ten years I've tried to be more dominant, I've tried to scratch the itch you have to be punished and used. But it's all a lie. Deep down, I'm the man who wants to be at home while you're bent over this table getting spanked and well and truly fucked. Fucked like I haven't been able to do for you.
I know you'll protest and say I'm plenty. And I believe you. I'm enough, but I'm not all you can have. Which is why I want to make it right. I should have never panicked then. And I want to fix it-- would you...try again to find someone like Will?
Yours always