Our Hotwives

A CUCKOLD’S DIARY
Chapter 30 – “Dear Paul”
April 2010

This is the letter my wife, Sally, wrote to me after her lover came to our house for the first time. If you don’t like cuckolding, then please don’t read this – it will upset you. If you read it anyway, please don’t write to tell me how much it upset you!

Sincerely,
Cuckold Paul
newatthis22a@yahoo.com

****

Dear Paul,
I still wonder why the time with Ted was so wonderful and so … easy. I dreaded having him in the house and it turned out to be better that I ever expected and yes, it was good to have great sex in our bed... something I haven’t felt in many of the years we have been married. Being in bed with him, fucking him, being held and caressed by him felt SO good – so unique – that all I could think was, "what was I thinking when I avoided this?”

I never thought I could feel this way in bed, and I certainly couldn't expect it after all these years of dashed expectations. I thought it was me, but apparently it wasn't given the obvious reactions of my body. Lying there, wrapped in his arms after we both came (the first time), I felt good about what we were doing, and sad that you could never do that for me... or with me. Do you know why I call you to come in when Ted and I are together? Not just to show you what you are missing, but hoping beyond hope that you might figure out how it's done. You may be reconciled to this "non-sex" sex as long as I make sure that we find time each day to point out how clueless you are in bed, but frankly, it's pretty dry for me between sessions with Ted, and unlike you, I don't get anything out of abstinence except, well, abstinence. I want you to see how I feel when you see me in Ted’s arms: I want you to see how he never stops touching me; I wanted you to see him holding me, and me reaching back to stroke him.

Then I realize I don't want you there, because the familiar worry creeps in: "What if he thinks he can take me back? What if he gets tired of this arrangement ad we have to go back to what was in between dates? What if I don't get to fuck Ted again?”

I actually didn't think about what would happen after he came the second time, squirting his cum all over my tits; I just invited you back in as quickly as I could so I wouldn't gross myself out. I mean, who in hell wants to lick the lover's cum off his wife's tits? What kind of man does this without completely demeaning himself? What kind of man are you?? Who eats cum? Women, gay men, and, I guess, cuckolds. But not MEN. You are not a woman, and I have it on good experience that you are not gay, so you must be a cuckold. Whatever you are, after watching you lick up Ted’s cum after he and I had sex, I cannot think of you the same way anymore. That experience changed the way I see you.

It's going to feel strange going back to the hotel because we had this experience in our house, in our bed. Even the feel of the sheets makes me remember how good it felt not to have your bumbling efforts - and yes, sometimes frankly painful efforts - repeated. I was sick and tired of reliving the past, but now, I associate sex in our bed with Ted, not with you.

I need you to remember what we looked like when I dove under the covers and started sucking on Ted’s cock. I want you to remember what it sounded like when you heard him moaning, knowing what I was doing for him, and to him, and with him. As I felt him grow and harden in my mouth I wanted to show you what you have lost. Did it HURT you, or were you so excited the thrill overcame the hurt?

I want you to see me giving him pleasure that you have never felt. Even without seeing you, because I was under the covers and loving every minute of it, I knew that everything I was doing to him was traveling like electricity from his cock to his face to your gut: “This is what I do for Ted and not you.”

When you asked Ted to pull down the covers so you could see me, I didn’t feel at all self-conscious. Actually, I felt inspired. I made love to his cock right in front of you, and I kept thinking, “Don’t ever forget what I look like with Ted’s cock in my mouth.” I don’t think I was giving expression to all the years of sexual frustration I felt in our bed... but maybe I was.

Things have changed for us and I need you to understand the changes. Paul, you are a wonderful husband, a great father and my bestest friend. None of that has changed at all. But after Sunday night, I just cannot think of you as a man who can make me feel like a woman. I am comfortable seeing you naked, but “comfortable” doesn’t mean excited. You don’t turn me on at all. All I have to do is remember what it looked like and felt like having you lick up my lover's cum, and the very thought of sex with you turns me off completely. It has been 3 ½ years since we stopped having sex on a regular basis, and as I said to you last week, sex between us has been over for a long, long time... and now I know without any doubt that it is over FOREVER. I used to imagine what it might be like to be one of those couples who love to fuck each other. I don't anymore. I know it will never work that way between us.

And yes, I’ll still honor my promise of a mercy fuck on our anniversary each year, but you need to know that it will be a gesture of friendship, not of sex. We both know that what I give you on our anniversary fuck isn’t even a fraction of the passion I give him every time. But you can get off in me once a year, as long as you accept that you can’t have more. Ever.

Remember: Ted makes me wet – every time. He makes me excited every time. He makes me cum – HARD – every time. And maybe most important of all, he makes me want him. Every time.

And since Ted loves my breasts so much, they are now off limits to you except by invitation. When I ask you to wash them in the shower, or put moisturizing cream on them, you are welcome to do it, but otherwise, you need to stop. My breasts are, frankly not just some of my best parts but the very essence of my being a woman, and I need you to stop pretending to be something you are not by touching them.

I know my breasts were the first thing you noticed about me, and I know you love looking at them even after all these years. You are welcome to keep looking, but when you first touched them I thought they were being touched by a man. Now that you are a friend – my bestest friend – I want my sex to be for the man who turns me on.

This will be hard for you, but it is important. The next time you see me with Ted, and see how his hands never leave my breasts, you will know why I love that.

Something really has changed, and both of us need to realize that. I do love you, Paul. I love you so much that even learning you cannot satisfy me sexually will not tear us apart.

But it will change things. It already has. It hurts me, too, but somehow we have found a way to grow our love in spite of all the pain.

I love you forever, my friend.

Sally

Thank you Paul for this latest diary entry. I do not always understand where some of the people on this site are coming from, but you seem to have actually got it. At the end of the day it is about sexual fulfillment for the woman and the man in the relationship but it also is about the cuckold. I think all of us cuckolds need humiliation and submission. What better way to show this then to lick cum. It is clearly not a gay thing. It is a diminishment of you. A kind of transfer of your manhood to the relationship between Sally and Ted. You are lucky these two enjoy including you in the only way you can be included- as a cuckold. Sally is just special and deserves the sex life she now has.I hope that Sally and Ted continue to have many moments together and you continue to tell about them.

Paul,

I'm always interested to read your posts. Thanks for sharing this latest diary entry. I just love reading about your situation.

Always love your posts, Paul. Wish they were more frequent.

Very interesting thoughts.
The sadness and suffering your wife expresses is profound.
Judging by what your wife writes you are clearly not good for her.

Your wife has offered you platonic love with revenge and sadness mixed in which is the definition of a tragedy.

Tragedy in this sense is an art form based on human suffering that offers its audience pleasure.
But art is only an illusion and not real life as at the end of the show the actors all go home to their real lives as none of what was portrayed was ever real.
It appears that you have turned an illusion into reality.

What pleasure do you derive from your wife's suffering?
Does your wife's suffering somehow excite you?
If you could, would you end your wife's suffering?
Lastly, is your end goal to totally destroy her?

This isn't cuckolding this is cruelty and total indifference to suffering.

I now understand that your wife is your victim.

Being Paul will most likely not answer these questions directly, I ask the other readers to answer them for him based on what the letter states.
I am also willing to bet that this marriage is one created and maintained based on some religion, but which one I do not know.

Paul_Pines wrote:A CUCKOLD’S DIARY
Chapter 30 – “Dear Paul”
April 2010

This is the letter my wife, Sally, wrote to me after her lover came to our house for the first time. If you don’t like cuckolding, then please don’t read this – it will upset you. If you read it anyway, please don’t write to tell me how much it upset you!

Sincerely,
Cuckold Paul
newatthis22a@yahoo.com

****

Dear Paul,
I still wonder why the time with Ted was so wonderful and so … easy. I dreaded having him in the house and it turned out to be better that I ever expected and yes, it was good to have great sex in our bed... something I haven’t felt in many of the years we have been married. Being in bed with him, fucking him, being held and caressed by him felt SO good – so unique – that all I could think was, "what was I thinking when I avoided this?”

I never thought I could feel this way in bed, and I certainly couldn't expect it after all these years of dashed expectations. I thought it was me, but apparently it wasn't given the obvious reactions of my body. Lying there, wrapped in his arms after we both came (the first time), I felt good about what we were doing, and sad that you could never do that for me... or with me. Do you know why I call you to come in when Ted and I are together? Not just to show you what you are missing, but hoping beyond hope that you might figure out how it's done. You may be reconciled to this "non-sex" sex as long as I make sure that we find time each day to point out how clueless you are in bed, but frankly, it's pretty dry for me between sessions with Ted, and unlike you, I don't get anything out of abstinence except, well, abstinence. I want you to see how I feel when you see me in Ted’s arms: I want you to see how he never stops touching me; I wanted you to see him holding me, and me reaching back to stroke him.

Then I realize I don't want you there, because the familiar worry creeps in: "What if he thinks he can take me back? What if he gets tired of this arrangement ad we have to go back to what was in between dates? What if I don't get to fuck Ted again?”

I actually didn't think about what would happen after he came the second time, squirting his cum all over my tits; I just invited you back in as quickly as I could so I wouldn't gross myself out. I mean, who in hell wants to lick the lover's cum off his wife's tits? What kind of man does this without completely demeaning himself? What kind of man are you?? Who eats cum? Women, gay men, and, I guess, cuckolds. But not MEN. You are not a woman, and I have it on good experience that you are not gay, so you must be a cuckold. Whatever you are, after watching you lick up Ted’s cum after he and I had sex, I cannot think of you the same way anymore. That experience changed the way I see you.

It's going to feel strange going back to the hotel because we had this experience in our house, in our bed. Even the feel of the sheets makes me remember how good it felt not to have your bumbling efforts - and yes, sometimes frankly painful efforts - repeated. I was sick and tired of reliving the past, but now, I associate sex in our bed with Ted, not with you.

I need you to remember what we looked like when I dove under the covers and started sucking on Ted’s cock. I want you to remember what it sounded like when you heard him moaning, knowing what I was doing for him, and to him, and with him. As I felt him grow and harden in my mouth I wanted to show you what you have lost. Did it HURT you, or were you so excited the thrill overcame the hurt?

I want you to see me giving him pleasure that you have never felt. Even without seeing you, because I was under the covers and loving every minute of it, I knew that everything I was doing to him was traveling like electricity from his cock to his face to your gut: “This is what I do for Ted and not you.”

When you asked Ted to pull down the covers so you could see me, I didn’t feel at all self-conscious. Actually, I felt inspired. I made love to his cock right in front of you, and I kept thinking, “Don’t ever forget what I look like with Ted’s cock in my mouth.” I don’t think I was giving expression to all the years of sexual frustration I felt in our bed... but maybe I was.

Things have changed for us and I need you to understand the changes. Paul, you are a wonderful husband, a great father and my bestest friend. None of that has changed at all. But after Sunday night, I just cannot think of you as a man who can make me feel like a woman. I am comfortable seeing you naked, but “comfortable” doesn’t mean excited. You don’t turn me on at all. All I have to do is remember what it looked like and felt like having you lick up my lover's cum, and the very thought of sex with you turns me off completely. It has been 3 ½ years since we stopped having sex on a regular basis, and as I said to you last week, sex between us has been over for a long, long time... and now I know without any doubt that it is over FOREVER. I used to imagine what it might be like to be one of those couples who love to fuck each other. I don't anymore. I know it will never work that way between us.

And yes, I’ll still honor my promise of a mercy fuck on our anniversary each year, but you need to know that it will be a gesture of friendship, not of sex. We both know that what I give you on our anniversary fuck isn’t even a fraction of the passion I give him every time. But you can get off in me once a year, as long as you accept that you can’t have more. Ever.

Remember: Ted makes me wet – every time. He makes me excited every time. He makes me cum – HARD – every time. And maybe most important of all, he makes me want him. Every time.

And since Ted loves my breasts so much, they are now off limits to you except by invitation. When I ask you to wash them in the shower, or put moisturizing cream on them, you are welcome to do it, but otherwise, you need to stop. My breasts are, frankly not just some of my best parts but the very essence of my being a woman, and I need you to stop pretending to be something you are not by touching them.

I know my breasts were the first thing you noticed about me, and I know you love looking at them even after all these years. You are welcome to keep looking, but when you first touched them I thought they were being touched by a man. Now that you are a friend – my bestest friend – I want my sex to be for the man who turns me on.

This will be hard for you, but it is important. The next time you see me with Ted, and see how his hands never leave my breasts, you will know why I love that.

Something really has changed, and both of us need to realize that. I do love you, Paul. I love you so much that even learning you cannot satisfy me sexually will not tear us apart.

But it will change things. It already has. It hurts me, too, but somehow we have found a way to grow our love in spite of all the pain.

I love you forever, my friend.

Sally

tcsub, fg925 and slave_hubby, - thanks!

SeaGirtCuck, glad to know you haven't changed. Never really got over my rejecting your offer to meet in person, did you?

All the best...

Cuckold Paul

Paul_Pines wrote: tcsub, fg925 and slave_hubby, - thanks!

SeaGirtCuck, glad to know you haven't changed.
Never really got over my rejecting your offer to meet in person, did you?

All the best...

Cuckold Paul

As a specimen to be examined I would still very much like to meet you.
In a different time an place I would put you in exhibit in a zoo.
Also as expected you did not answer any of the questions so I leave it the rest of the readers to answer for you.

SeaGirtCuck wrote:

Paul_Pines wrote: tcsub, fg925 and slave_hubby, - thanks!

SeaGirtCuck, glad to know you haven't changed.
Never really got over my rejecting your offer to meet in person, did you?

All the best...

Cuckold Paul

As a specimen to be examined I would still very much like to meet you.
In a different time an place I would put you in exhibit in a zoo.
Also as expected you did not answer any of the questions so I leave it the rest of the readers to answer for you.

SGC, this forum is not for your bashing someone over their posting just because you still may have a problem because you cannot do anything about your wife fucking other men, which I well remember your first post and the pain you were in.

Paul,
It seems we have been through this before. i hope you can continue to have the courage to keep posting. It is obvious you and Sally are not in pain. You are doing what cuckold couples do. You are practicing cuckoldry. i admire you, Sally, and Ted= especially with your latest developments. As far as SGC, i have not read anything from him that makes sense to me. He is angry but i do not know why. i still feel he should be allowed to say whatever he wants to say. It does not mean we have to agree with or respect what he is saying. Maybe the whole issue is a cuckold who wants to not be a cuckold-? i think SGC is jealous of you Paul. You have accepted your role in life and that is hard to do.
Thanks Paul.

tcsub wrote: It is obvious you and Sally are not in pain.

tcsub based solely on direct quotes from the letter using Sally's own words"
"it hurts me, too, but somehow we have found a way to grow our love in spite of all the pain."

I guess somebody has to let Sally know she is not in pain.
I guess she doesn't have any idea what she is talking about.

But who cares.
I realized that this letter is written in the same voice, style and vocabulary as all of Paul's writings.
It is also written more from the point of view of an observer of Sally rather than Sally's point of view.
From all written evidence this letter is written by the same person.

I won't be spinning my wheels on this or Paul anymore.

Good luck guys and have fun with your collective fantasy.

SGC,
Your comments are understandable. I do think, however, that we have to keep expanding our gaze to include recognition all varieties of erotic relationship and arrangement. I think there is a huge tendency based on our 'culture' to think that there is some kind of 'ideal' to be reached for in relationship but for me that has come to be an illusion. Probably for most of us, a 'good' sexual relationship involves more feelings of pleasure than pain. Then there are the exceptions to the 'bell curve' that involve more complexity than our conditioning prepares us for. I think that this forum is a valuable place for these differences to be exhibited and examined. LIke you, I have had unfavorable reactions to some of the posters and comments here...I keep working on it. In this particular case, it seems that all parties are aware of the variety of emotions and remain consensual in their relationship. C'est la vie mon vieux.

243 wrote: C'est la vie mon vieux.

En effet, il est.

SeaGirtCuck wrote:

tcsub wrote: It is obvious you and Sally are not in pain.

tcsub based solely on direct quotes from the letter using Sally's own words"
"it hurts me, too, but somehow we have found a way to grow our love in spite of all the pain."

I guess somebody has to let Sally know she is not in pain.
I guess she doesn't have any idea what she is talking about.

But who cares.
I realized that this letter is written in the same voice, style and vocabulary as all of Paul's writings.
It is also written more from the point of view of an observer of Sally rather than Sally's point of view.
From all written evidence this letter is written by the same person.

I won't be spinning my wheels on this or Paul anymore.

Good luck guys and have fun with your collective fantasy.

SGC, this is your last warning, if you do not have anything constructive to say then say nothing. You do not like Paul so do not read his threads, that is your option, but it is not your option to post your hate in this or anyother thread.

Throwing electrons around to try to berate or vilify another is just not good manners. Paul lives the life to the fullest. I know because I just spent 5 hours fucking his beautiful wife in a comfy hotel with him shamefully sitting outside the closed bedroom door. So much for the fantasy accusations.
We who practice this lifestyle are already on the fringes, so why do we seek to further insulate ourselves by arguing, accusing and assuming.
Time to play nice, little boys, and let those of us who know how to please your wives be free of your pettiness.

Sally's lover, Ted

tomskis wrote:Throwing electrons around to try to berate or vilify another is just not good manners. Paul lives the life to the fullest. I know because I just spent 5 hours fucking his beautiful wife in a comfy hotel with him shamefully sitting outside the closed bedroom door. So much for the fantasy accusations.
We who practice this lifestyle are already on the fringes, so why do we seek to further insulate ourselves by arguing, accusing and assuming.
Time to play nice, little boys, and let those of us who know how to please your wives be free of your pettiness.

Sally's lover, Ted

Hi Ted, glad to see you posting. I move this from a stand along thread to the thread that you are talking about. Paul is lucky to have you in his life and taking care of Sally because that is something he cannot do.

Ted, thanks for your note. Sally had a GREAT time with you on Tuesday, and you were really understanding of me, too.

I'm trying to write up my experience, but this one will take a little time. Exciting as hell, but pretty bruising on the ego.

Thanks again for taking such good care of my wife.

cp

With Paul and Ted's help my wife and I have both accepted our roles and our experience has been much enhanced by our conversations with them. I know how Paul feels as they have helped me feel the same way.

yep duke9555, PP is surely a hero.

Moving from Cuckold to Library