Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[solstice]

Well, I agree the lady doth protest too much. But I just don't get it. Why not tell you if something happened between them?

Could this lady be playing the game and using her own rules?

[anonymister1948]

This tells me that she continues to struggle with society's conditioning, effectively slut-shaming herself.

I think this sentence explains why she hasn't told you the full extent of her affair with Mr.B. Every sign is there that something has happened beyond what she has told you and if those details were to come out now, she would be admitting that, indeed, she's been the person she tells you she isn't yet ready to admit she is.

[kaskap79]

Could be interesting to tell a story about Mr S while you have sex, after she gets home.

Just to see if she reacts the same way.

[BallSpanking]

I am not sure I believe are her protestations of innocence ... But then, you don't want her to be a faithful wife, maybe she is exploring that ...

[slenderfish]

deleted duplicate posting

[slenderfish]

Could be interesting to tell a story about Mr S while you have sex, after she gets home.

Just to see if she reacts the same way.

I did a similar story about Mr S before she traveled, and it was a similar reaction, great wetness, big big O. Yes, I'll see how it goes on a repeat, if that's possible based on how things actually were left between them.

[BallSpanking]

Mr B seems to be a horn-dog with roving hands, and Slenderwife has chuckled about it, and tried to set him up with her GF's (unsuccessfully), so, at some level, clearly your wife is approving of him, and enjoys helping him out. If the guy is 6' 8", his cock should be large, even if it is just proportional to his size.

[36DDwife]

I am not sure I believe are her protestations of innocence ... But then, you don't want her to be a faithful wife, maybe she is exploring that ...

A wife who doesn’t tell her husband of her activities regardless if he is onboard or not is basically cheating in my mind. What I have gleaned from the story thus far, particularly about Mr. B, is that Slenderwife is telling Slenderfish “I’m not attracted to him” “he’s a horny dog” but tells her girls at a party “that son a bitch isn’t paying attention to me”. Then Slenderfish sees the video evidence of them together when he isn’t home & sees with his own eyes that her titties are hanging after tucking Mr. B in bed but “nothing happened” in both instances. Seems like double talk to me. Obviously I’m paraphrasing but if this was my marriage all hell would break loose.

I don’t buy this “she’s just working thru some stuff” reasoning for not telling what’s going on. What happened to communication? Where’s her concern for Slenderfish’s feelings in all of this? What happens at the next social event when Mr. B gives Slenderfish the shit eating grin of “I’m fucking your wife behind your back”? How many of her girlfriends are aware of what’s going on?

[Dharmadude]

To me, cheating is the most disrespectful thing spouses can do to each other. I believe in the LS it is even more so due to the implied, or explicit, approval to seek such encounters. I cannot understand why one would do this tbh. You have been given “permission” to fuck someone else and even encouraged to do so. Slenderfish has shown his interest, excitement, approval, hands off let her pace things, no jealousy way of dealing with things. It makes no sense to hold back details, or at least an acknowledment that, yes, she has taken that leap. It is just odd to me.

I am not saying she has cheated on Slenderfish, but she definitely is holding something back. My HW knows how much I enjoy the details and I don’t always get them to the level of my satisfaction but I don’t believe she deliberately is holding back. She has gotten more comfortable over time with sharing small details, etc.

She has witheld 2 encounters from me each for a different amount of time (I have mentioned these on here before). The first chronologically was when we first started dating. I was confusing as to being open and gave mixed signals. She fucked him, after pursuing him for months. She didn’t tell me for about three years. I was not upset; I was turned on.

The second was when she was out of town, fucked a guy, but didn’t tell me until she got home. It was an, “Oh by the way....” type of conversation. Very hot.

I guess my point is that it appears she has crossed that threshold already and not revealed it. I understand that it would cause a lot of conflicting emotions for her, and the longer she goes without telling you, the stronger those emotions would become. And might get to a point of feeling like how the hell do I tell him now?

My HW’s first one was like this. It had been so long and pushed down so far. A slip of the tongue revealed it but then she saw that, yes, she had hidden this from me but I was not upset. You don’t appear that you would be upset either. Which is why I say it is odd.

[36DDwife]

Well, I agree the lady doth protest too much. But I just don't get it. Why not tell you if something happened between them?

Could this lady be playing the game and using her own rules?

Well the first word in the title to this thread is “HER”.

[BallSpanking]

Hey folks, if women were easy to read and uncomplicated, they would have dicks.
It could very well be Slendewife has been and is being honest with Slenderfish when claiming not to have fucked another man. If Slenderfish, who knows her well, cannot say for sure, I doubt any of us could have any certainty over the matter.

[TheHammer]

Flirting with the personal trainer may be something to propose as their built in close contact as part of a personal training session. As the very least, it keeps the hotwife topic in her head and would lead to erotic talk in bed between you two.

[eb4cplslooking]

It could be the wife isn't totally comfortable laying it all out. My wife doesn't like to plan and discuss it in detail..... but likes it to be more spontaneous. Either way I look forward to this story continuing. And please don't ever think you are posting too much. We feed on this stuff!

[eb4cplslooking]

It could be the wife isn't totally comfortable laying it all out. My wife doesn't like to plan and discuss it in detail..... but likes it to be more spontaneous. Either way I look forward to this story continuing. And please don't ever think you are posting too much. We feed on this stuff!

[slenderfish]

To me, cheating is the most disrespectful thing spouses can do to each other. I believe in the LS it is even more so due to the implied, or explicit, approval to seek such encounters. I cannot understand why one would do this tbh. You have been given “permission” to fuck someone else and even encouraged to do so. Slenderfish has shown his interest, excitement, approval, hands off let her pace things, no jealousy way of dealing with things. It makes no sense to hold back details, or at least an acknowledment that, yes, she has taken that leap. It is just odd to me.

I am not saying she has cheated on Slenderfish, but she definitely is holding something back. My HW knows how much I enjoy the details and I don’t always get them to the level of my satisfaction but I don’t believe she deliberately is holding back. She has gotten more comfortable over time with sharing small details, etc.

She has witheld 2 encounters from me each for a different amount of time (I have mentioned these on here before). The first chronologically was when we first started dating. I was confusing as to being open and gave mixed signals. She fucked him, after pursuing him for months. She didn’t tell me for about three years. I was not upset; I was turned on.

The second was when she was out of town, fucked a guy, but didn’t tell me until she got home. It was an, “Oh by the way....” type of conversation. Very hot.

I guess my point is that it appears she has crossed that threshold already and not revealed it. I understand that it would cause a lot of conflicting emotions for her, and the longer she goes without telling you, the stronger those emotions would become. And might get to a point of feeling like how the hell do I tell him now?

My HW’s first one was like this. It had been so long and pushed down so far. A slip of the tongue revealed it but then she saw that, yes, she had hidden this from me but I was not upset. You don’t appear that you would be upset either. Which is why I say it is odd.

I've seen that many get into the lifestyle via a first "cheat" by the wife. Given that I've been encouraging her for some years now, I think it's only fair I remain patient on this. Why blow something up now? I can blow it up at any time, so let's play it out in hopes it is a genuine hotwife path.

I agree her behavior is way outside the boundaries of a normal monogamous marriage. I put that point very much in her face after this "last straw" which also has video proof. If she cheated (even if not sex, this is wildly unacceptable behavior by any normal marriage standard), in which case the path leads to divorce for most couples and we'd have to start dealing with that whole deal. If she is playing with hotwife concepts, then own up to it and decide if this is the path. These are what I presented to her after this, and I look back and consider that this night and the video proof is really going to be a watershed event for our marriage. She acknowledged she is ready to move into hotwife experiences, and that's why she organized the date with Mr. S back in her hometown.

Now that Mr. S was a small first step, we will have an appropriate follow-up conversation about modifications to her plan, which I will insist we morph now into "our" plan.

I've been considering going so far as to invite Mr. B over to dinner with Slenderwife and me and to just put it out there, that he and Slenderwife have my blessing to pursue whatever they may, within the context of my involvement at some mutually acceptable level. This would be the proverbial home run. No, it would be a grand slam. This is an attractive approach from my seat, but the circumstances would need to be exactly right in order for me to pursue it. So it sits as one possibility in the stack of cards in my hand.

I'm very glad her effort that night has now brought the conversation fully into the open, and has spurred some real mutual hotwife progress with full conversations around it.

[slenderfish]

Flirting with the personal trainer may be something to propose as their built in close contact as part of a personal training session. As the very least, it keeps the hotwife topic in her head and would lead to erotic talk in bed between you two.

Yes, he was the first of her efforts to throw me a bone with respect to my hotwife prediliction. She said she selected a buff, black, attractive man as a win-win. She gets the workouts and I get the imagination kindling. But she is not attracted to black men, as it turns out. And he's married, his wife is around all the time at the studio, especially when Slenderwife is there training.

I'll also point out that his wife is blonde. He has a type. Slenderwife is his type, and is much more compelling.

But she will I'm sure indulge me with revisiting this fantasy. She has started to wear more revealing and sexy workout outfits, without bra and nipples protruding to the trained eye.

I've been telling her to be sure they don't skip his stretching her after the workout. I hope she gets more comfortable having another man's hands on her shoulders, her thighs, etc.

[BallSpanking]

I doubt trying to impose your ideal solution on Slenderwife and Mr B is an ideal solution without knowing the outcome of such a proposition. I think it would be better to leave it in her hands, as it is, things are moving forward fairly well. I think your attitude is conducive to a positive outcome for all involved.

While her having potential dalliances is hot, it could be disturbing if they involved deceit on her part. That is not at this time a proven point. You cannot categorically state she cheated, because you don't know it to be a fact. You have strong suspicions, but her answers have been just equivocal enough to cast doubt on certainty. On the other hand, if she is having extramarital relations it is something you have a right to know, and would enjoy knowing. So I am not sure a confrontational approach is the best suited here.

[afagehi7]

Time will reveal. I agree no sense in blowing anything up now.

I also would not put it out there with mr. B. That may actually screw it up. If she's indeed playing a game that she plans to reveal once she's sealed the deal this could mess it up as she gets to reveal and tell whatever story to mr. B that she feels appropriate.

I say just stay the current status quo and course for now and see what develops. Don't reveal your hand yet.

[slenderfish]

Yes, I'll continue playing it close to the vest.

For the record, I really believe she hasn't cheated with him in the sex department. Cheating actions in many other respects, giving him attention, hiding their social plans, fawning over him, etc. Not really crazy if she is moving into hotwifing.

A big tease, that's for sure.

Time will tell, and you know I'm very patient. This is the long game.

[Dharmadude]

To me, cheating is the most disrespectful thing spouses can do to each other. I believe in the LS it is even more so due to the implied, or explicit, approval to seek such encounters. I cannot understand why one would do this tbh. You have been given “permission” to fuck someone else and even encouraged to do so. Slenderfish has shown his interest, excitement, approval, hands off let her pace things, no jealousy way of dealing with things. It makes no sense to hold back details, or at least an acknowledment that, yes, she has taken that leap. It is just odd to me.

I am not saying she has cheated on Slenderfish, but she definitely is holding something back. My HW knows how much I enjoy the details and I don’t always get them to the level of my satisfaction but I don’t believe she deliberately is holding back. She has gotten more comfortable over time with sharing small details, etc.

She has witheld 2 encounters from me each for a different amount of time (I have mentioned these on here before). The first chronologically was when we first started dating. I was confusing as to being open and gave mixed signals. She fucked him, after pursuing him for months. She didn’t tell me for about three years. I was not upset; I was turned on.

The second was when she was out of town, fucked a guy, but didn’t tell me until she got home. It was an, “Oh by the way....” type of conversation. Very hot.

I guess my point is that it appears she has crossed that threshold already and not revealed it. I understand that it would cause a lot of conflicting emotions for her, and the longer she goes without telling you, the stronger those emotions would become. And might get to a point of feeling like how the hell do I tell him now?

My HW’s first one was like this. It had been so long and pushed down so far. A slip of the tongue revealed it but then she saw that, yes, she had hidden this from me but I was not upset. You don’t appear that you would be upset either. Which is why I say it is odd.

I've seen that many get into the lifestyle via a first "cheat" by the wife. Given that I've been encouraging her for some years now, I think it's only fair I remain patient on this. Why blow something up now? I can blow it up at any time, so let's play it out in hopes it is a genuine hotwife path.

I agree her behavior is way outside the boundaries of a normal monogamous marriage. I put that point very much in her face after this "last straw" which also has video proof. If she cheated (even if not sex, this is wildly unacceptable behavior by any normal marriage standard), in which case the path leads to divorce for most couples and we'd have to start dealing with that whole deal. If she is playing with hotwife concepts, then own up to it and decide if this is the path. These are what I presented to her after this, and I look back and consider that this night and the video proof is really going to be a watershed event for our marriage. She acknowledged she is ready to move into hotwife experiences, and that's why she organized the date with Mr. S back in her hometown.

Now that Mr. S was a small first step, we will have an appropriate follow-up conversation about modifications to her plan, which I will insist we morph now into "our" plan.

I've been considering going so far as to invite Mr. B over to dinner with Slenderwife and me and to just put it out there, that he and Slenderwife have my blessing to pursue whatever they may, within the context of my involvement at some mutually acceptable level. This would be the proverbial home run. No, it would be a grand slam. This is an attractive approach from my seat, but the circumstances would need to be exactly right in order for me to pursue it. So it sits as one possibility in the stack of cards in my hand.

I'm very glad her effort that night has now brought the conversation fully into the open, and has spurred some real mutual hotwife progress with full conversations around it.

I definitely wasn’t suggesting blowing anything up. Hope I didn’t come across that way. If I did then I apologize.

From what you’ve written, her behavior just seems odd to me. You mentioned a normal monogomous marriage and I agree her behavior would be outside those boundaries. Yet, you don’t exactly have that. You have a HW marriage, or the path to one, and that’s why it doesn’t make sense. She has this “freedom” and has expressed not only a willingness to take this path, and even planned out an encounter, but still is reluctant to share with you.

Since you presented this to her, maybe she will be willing to talk it out. You know her best. FWIW I think she is on board and you will have a genuine HW before too long. Whomever carries her over that threshold is a lucky man. She is gorgeous.

[slenderfish]

She returns tomorrow night. It'll be very interesting to see where her mind is now, versus where it was when she left and had a plan to pursue Mr. S and perhaps become a hotwife on this very trip. Some perspectives come to my mind:

- She enjoyed it and wants to pick it up in November with Mr. S and the only reason she called off the Sat night date was it was moving too fast for her and/or she had other reasons unrelated to Mr. S or her hotwifing (family reasons, stress reasons from 9/11, etc. are some of what she noted to me in addition to her alluding a sensitivity to feeling like a girl who just jumps into the sack, etc.)

- She enjoyed it but was feeling like she was too far away and realized after being there that she might prefer closer to home/home base

- She would have enjoyed it but Mr. S said or did something that turned her off to him only

- She would have enjoyed it but Mr. S said or did something that turned her off to hotwifing

- She thought she would enjoy with Mr. S but other thoughts/emotions came to the surface about another man (Mr. B or me or ??) and those were too distracting

- She did not enjoy anything about it and it's a huge setback for her hotwife path

So much of the above will then have implications on what we do going forward. Again, some possibilities come to mind:

- I would like this to be more of a "us" thing on a go-forward basis. This first outing was agreed to be mostly radio silence, as she requested. I'd like to modify that

- I will encourage her to consider something/someone closer to home for her sake and for mine

- We may now have a path for a conversation to have her come more up to speed on what people in the lifestyle have found to be the better approaches

- She may consider coming onto this site to find out more about what is available within this community, and gain a greater understanding of the man's mindset, etc.

And so many other things.

[BallSpanking]

I think any one or all of the mentioned considerations could be at play, I especially favor the moving too fast, and feeling too distant from home. Girls that don't feel comfy jumping into beds with strangers are not likely to change overnight, and there is always the chance Mr S did or said something, or something was absent that she needed present. Who knows, you'll find out tomorrow.

I suggest you approach her experience at her own pace, as she wants to share it, and always inquire about HER feelings at different points of her date, because her joy is the focus of your efforts, and if at any point the event becomes too stressful for her to enjoy, then you completely support her bailing out. Moreover, whatever her reason was for bailing, is valid and a priority to you, because it is HER happiness that is important to you.

[kaskap79]

I highly recommend Mrs S to become a member on this site.

She should also be Verified as a Hotwife. Then she can ask the other verified hotfives about all her concerns and other stuff she has on her mind.

From what I know, they are very helpful to each other in that group.

Tell that she does not have to post in the public area once she verified and until then only a few post saying "Hi"

[Hobby_Fan]

Thank you fit thinking this all through out loud on the board.

This is a fascinating adventure.

[slenderfish]

Hi friends. I have an update already!

First I want to agree this is indeed a fascinating adventure. Well said.

My unique style and contribution, in addition to the travelogue, apparently is my periodic side analysis and thinking out loud (in writing, of course).

So she has shifted out of radio silence mode, back to her normal travel mode where she calls me prior to going to bed on a normal night to catch up, reviewing the day.

She did so tonight. Called about 11:00 her time and was turning in. We spoke for a half hour about a wide variety of generally unimportant topics. As she was wrapping up the conversation, she did mention a couple of gems, giving early hints as to which of my above musings are likely to be closest to the reality.

I had to let her know that I may not be able to physically be at the airport to pick her up when she arrives tomorrow evening, after all. I have a late business meeting with someone coming from across the country, in preparation for all-day intense meetings on Wednesday. He arrives just before she arrives, same airport. The reason I mention this is because she and I had both (without saying it) wanted to reconnect as quickly as possible on her return; and she wants to give me the full details of how things went with Mr. S. and how they did not go.

She confirmed this after it became clear she will need to take a taxi home. She said she was expecting to do the full detailed conversation, to "make me happy" etc. regarding her efforts.

She let slip that "nothing happened with Mr. S." but immediately corrected herself "actually some things happened, plenty happened" and something about he will not be the guy for the future. Seems he's "done" if I read the tea leaves. But she mentioned the future indirectly and I did ask about that. She more or less said that she plans to continue on the hotwife path, but it won't be with Mr. S. That's a relief, that she intends to move forward.

I encouraged her to look at the good from this, a step along the path, a learning opportunity about herself and the hotwife process. I told her it's really just a start and that there is nothing but the future and that there is no rush, she should take it on her personal time frame. We have a long game here, and we will enjoy along the long way. She giggled and said "that's right." Said she is committed to making me happy in this way. Of course, I'll follow up (as I almost without fail do when she says things like that) with "it's your happiness that makes me happy, so you should do this for you and by doing it for you it is also doing it for me."