Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl, You have summed things up fairly well.

I would just like to add that talking often is essential for most couples, and not just in the bedroom setting I hasten to add.

If possible over a good meal together is always a good was to communicate about the LS with each other.

Sophie.

[his_mistress]

Hi All,

I just want to say thanks in advance for any help/advice that you can provide. For privacy purposes, I will introduce myself as J and my girlfriend as V (late 20's and early 30's respectively). We have been dating long distance for a little over four years now and she is absolutely wonderful. As a person, as a partner, as my other half. Not to mention she is AMAZING in bed. I love our sex life SO much. And I love her so much.

For a little while now, I have been interested in the idea of her being with another guy. I am not into humiliation or anything like that that I've been reading about. From my perspective, especially since we are long distance, I very much enjoy the thought of her being satisfied. As long as she is safe, comfortable and happy, whatever she wants to do with another guy is completely fine by me.

TL;DR

Anyway, long story short, we are looking for some advice since we are new to this. She started by doing some mild flirting on Tinder and Hinge, but nothing too serious. She then flirted with my neighbor but nothing has come of that yet. As as of about two weeks ago, she has meet up with an old friend and has had sex with him twice now. I think this is absolutely exciting and I love when she tells me about it. I am so lucky to be with her and she genuinely cares about my feelings on that matter too which is great. We wanted to know if anyone who is experienced in this type of thing could give us any advice? To be honest, I don't really know what advice we are looking for, just anything that you think will help. Anything like where is the best place for her to meet guys for this type of thing...Tinder and Hinge seem shoddy as best. But we liked Tinder since it sort of has a reputation for being a hookup app. Or how we should approach topics like this with potential people she wants to be with. Literally anything would be helpful because we are both new to this. We both just learned what a "Hotwife" was about a week ago lol.

Thanks again!

Your story is a lot similar to mine. My husband started sharing me with his friend before our marriage. Is this the girl you will be marrying?

Note that she may fall in love with someone she meets. Are you ok handling that?

In my case we were engaged and we knew we were gonna get married. So, it didn't cause much confusion. Although, it left me craving for kinky sex after I got married.

[brutay2]

In your case Are you happy for the wonderful life of being open to experience a multitude of lovers you have had and still are having while married to a wonderful and adoring cuckold? Would you want to change anything about it?

[coastalkid]

I’ve read a few threads lately and some questions have come to mind. How important is it that your husband/bf is enthusiastic about your particular arrangement/agreement? Is it as fun for you if your husband/bf is happy for you but mostly ambivalent and uninterested? I get that the thrill and experiences are different for husbands and spouses. I also get that when you enter this lifestyle that a sort of renegotiation of your marriage takes place with new agreements and understandings. What happens when you realize that his thrill isn’t as evident as it once was? How do you prevent/anticipate such a thing occurring? There are so many threads here that are like a candle that burns bright but not for very long.

BTW my wife is getting much more comfortable with teasing me during sex with talk of “boyfriends” and big cocked lovers. She is doing this for me as a result of communicating but she has gotten much more imaginative and candid so I know those thoughts are bouncing around in that head of hers. Sex is more fun than ever right now. Thanks for all your help over the years!

[Farmgirl]

I’ve read a few threads lately and some questions have come to mind. How important is it that your husband/bf is enthusiastic about your particular arrangement/agreement? Is it as fun for you if your husband/bf is happy for you but mostly ambivalent and uninterested? I get that the thrill and experiences are different for husbands and spouses. I also get that when you enter this lifestyle that a sort of renegotiation of your marriage takes place with new agreements and understandings. What happens when you realize that his thrill isn’t as evident as it once was? How do you prevent/anticipate such a thing occurring? There are so many threads here that are like a candle that burns bright but not for very long.

BTW my wife is getting much more comfortable with teasing me during sex with talk of “boyfriends” and big cocked lovers. She is doing this for me as a result of communicating but she has gotten much more imaginative and candid so I know those thoughts are bouncing around in that head of hers. Sex is more fun than ever right now. Thanks for all your help over the years!

Hi, coastalkid.
It is very important for my husband to be enthusiastic about our agreement/contract/marriage and the way I play. If my husband was uninterested it wouldn't be fun.

" What happens when you realize that his thrill isn’t as evident as it once was?"
Sorry but, this is a hypothetical that won't happen in my marriage so, I have no answer to give on it.

" How do you prevent/anticipate such a thing occurring?"
I/we prevent that by talking several times a day, every single day about it We communicate and listen to each other.
Things like that come up when a couple doesn't communicate.

Glad that things are improving for you and your wife!

[coastalkid]

Hi, coastalkid.
It is very important for my husband to be enthusiastic about our agreement/contract/marriage and the way I play. If my husband was uninterested it wouldn't be fun.

" What happens when you realize that his thrill isn’t as evident as it once was?"
Sorry but, this is a hypothetical that won't happen in my marriage so, I have no answer to give on it.

" How do you prevent/anticipate such a thing occurring?"
I/we prevent that by talking several times a day, every single day about it We communicate and listen to each other.
Things like that come up when a couple doesn't communicate.

Glad that things are improving for you and your wife!

Thank you! There are some VHW's here that I have read enough of their posts to have a good idea of how they will respond. Your posts have always lead me to believe that your husband is always "#1". His name here declares that and you leave no doubt about it. Your husband is a lucky man to have such a smart woman!

[Farmgirl]

Thank you! There are some VHW's here that I have read enough of their posts to have a good idea of how they will respond. Your posts have always lead me to believe that your husband is always "#1". His name here declares that and you leave no doubt about it. Your husband is a lucky man to have such a smart woman!
[/quote]

Thank you, coastalkid .
You seem to want a Hotwife but, yet, are nervous and unsure how you will react, or is it how your wife will act?

[coastalkid]

Thank you, coastalkid .
You seem to want a Hotwife but, yet, are nervous and unsure how you will react, or is it how your wife will act?

I sent you a PM. Thank you!

[belvedere]

A quick question.

For 2 years I have been shared with my wife my desire of her being a hotwife. She remains unwilling, she is shy and charming, she attracts the attention of others and sometimes flirts when we go out together. Other day in bed, we were having sex and she asked for some oral. I was very excited, especially for saying how much I like to show her off, that I ended up cumming a little at the external area of her pussy. I had no doubt, I went down and started sucking her anyway. The situation made me even more horny ...

so question is:

#1 do you think she realized that I came on her before my oral? if so,

#2 is it more likely that she thought the moment become more erotic / had more pleasure or she has found it wierd?


I deeply love my wife and I am trying to give her the opportunit to enjoy whatever she wants, if she want.

Thank you all!

[Farmgirl]

A quick question.

For 2 years I have been shared with my wife my desire of her being a hotwife. She remains unwilling, she is shy and charming, she attracts the attention of others and sometimes flirts when we go out together. Other day in bed, we were having sex and she asked for some oral. I was very excited, especially for saying how much I like to show her off, that I ended up cumming a little at the external area of her pussy. I had no doubt, I went down and started sucking her anyway. The situation made me even more horny ...

so question is:

#1 do you think she realized that I came on her before my oral? if so,

#2 is it more likely that she thought the moment become more erotic / had more pleasure or she has found it wierd?


I deeply love my wife and I am trying to give her the opportunit to enjoy whatever she wants, if she want.

Thank you all!

Sorry, but it's not possible to know what she thought of you being so excited that you came on her and then licked her. You would have to ask her that question.
Me, I love it when my Number1 does something like that but, then that is me.

[bradisalpha]

A quick question.

For 2 years I have been shared with my wife my desire of her being a hotwife. She remains unwilling, she is shy and charming, she attracts the attention of others and sometimes flirts when we go out together. Other day in bed, we were having sex and she asked for some oral. I was very excited, especially for saying how much I like to show her off, that I ended up cumming a little at the external area of her pussy. I had no doubt, I went down and started sucking her anyway. The situation made me even more horny ...

so question is:

#1 do you think she realized that I came on her before my oral? if so,

#2 is it more likely that she thought the moment become more erotic / had more pleasure or she has found it wierd?


I deeply love my wife and I am trying to give her the opportunit to enjoy whatever she wants, if she want.

Thank you all!

Did she orgasm quicker.. or harder than normal ?? That would answer your question.

To confirm.. do it again.. cum and lick her.

Just my thoughts..

Brad

[belvedere]

A quick question.

For 2 years I have been shared with my wife my desire of her being a hotwife. She remains unwilling, she is shy and charming, she attracts the attention of others and sometimes flirts when we go out together. Other day in bed, we were having sex and she asked for some oral. I was very excited, especially for saying how much I like to show her off, that I ended up cumming a little at the external area of her pussy. I had no doubt, I went down and started sucking her anyway. The situation made me even more horny ...

so question is:

#1 do you think she realized that I came on her before my oral? if so,

#2 is it more likely that she thought the moment become more erotic / had more pleasure or she has found it wierd?


I deeply love my wife and I am trying to give her the opportunit to enjoy whatever she wants, if she want.

Thank you all!

Did she orgasm quicker.. or harder than normal ?? That would answer your question.

To confirm.. do it again.. cum and lick her.

Just my thoughts..

Brad

Good point!

It was fast. I'll do it again to confirm.

Thanks for the answers!

[2inUPMichigan]

A quick question.

For 2 years I have been shared with my wife my desire of her being a hotwife. She remains unwilling, she is shy and charming, she attracts the attention of others and sometimes flirts when we go out together. Other day in bed, we were having sex and she asked for some oral. I was very excited, especially for saying how much I like to show her off, that I ended up cumming a little at the external area of her pussy. I had no doubt, I went down and started sucking her anyway. The situation made me even more horny ...

so question is:

#1 do you think she realized that I came on her before my oral? if so,

#2 is it more likely that she thought the moment become more erotic / had more pleasure or she has found it wierd?


I deeply love my wife and I am trying to give her the opportunit to enjoy whatever she wants, if she want.

Thank you all!

Did she orgasm quicker.. or harder than normal ?? That would answer your question.

To confirm.. do it again.. cum and lick her.

Just my thoughts..

Brad

Hey Brad....were you looking to get verified?
Oops! You answered a question in the Ask a Hotwife thread

[Farmgirl]

A quick question.

For 2 years I have been shared with my wife my desire of her being a hotwife. She remains unwilling, she is shy and charming, she attracts the attention of others and sometimes flirts when we go out together. Other day in bed, we were having sex and she asked for some oral. I was very excited, especially for saying how much I like to show her off, that I ended up cumming a little at the external area of her pussy. I had no doubt, I went down and started sucking her anyway. The situation made me even more horny ...

so question is:

#1 do you think she realized that I came on her before my oral? if so,

#2 is it more likely that she thought the moment become more erotic / had more pleasure or she has found it wierd?


I deeply love my wife and I am trying to give her the opportunit to enjoy whatever she wants, if she want.

Thank you all!

Did she orgasm quicker.. or harder than normal ?? That would answer your question.

To confirm.. do it again.. cum and lick her.

Just my thoughts..

Brad

Hey Brad....were you looking to get verified?
Oops! You answered a question in the Ask a Hotwife thread

You beat me to it, I was just thinking of asking Bradette to join us.

[Spartan Shield]

I would like to ask the ladies here for their input.

I was reading another thread here on OHW in which several cuckolds were describing how their wives didn’t give them blowjobs - saying that they dislike the experience, and yet are invariably enthusiastic at doing it for their boyfriends.

My wife hasn’t taken a lover yet, but these comments chime with my experience of married life. I go down on my wife very frequently, which she loves, yet she never reciprocated.

It would be great to get a woman’s perspective on this and the motivation for a woman’s desire to give a man a blowjob.

[Sophie]

Spartan Shield, I personally enjoy giving oral to my husband and lovers, however it is not often that I let them orgasm in my mouth as I prefer to have them cum deep inside my pussy.

Sophie.

[Farmgirl]

I would like to ask the ladies here for their input.

I was reading another thread here on OHW in which several cuckolds were describing how their wives didn’t give them blowjobs - saying that they dislike the experience, and yet are invariably enthusiastic at doing it for their boyfriends.

My wife hasn’t taken a lover yet, but these comments chime with my experience of married life. I go down on my wife very frequently, which she loves, yet she never reciprocated.

It would be great to get a woman’s perspective on this and the motivation for a woman’s desire to give a man a blowjob.

I don't do things with my lovers, blow jobs, anal, etc., that I don't do with my husband. My husband gets all of me. Any denial games we play are as much for him as for me.
I love giving oral to a man, it is a feeling of being in control of the man and his orgasm, and my ability to cause it.
While I enjoy swallowing all a man has to give, I'm more like Sophie in that prefer to have them cum in my pussy or my ass.

[TimothyLeary69]

First post

[Sophie]

I would like to ask the ladies here for their input.

I was reading another thread here on OHW in which several cuckolds were describing how their wives didn’t give them blowjobs - saying that they dislike the experience, and yet are invariably enthusiastic at doing it for their boyfriends.

My wife hasn’t taken a lover yet, but these comments chime with my experience of married life. I go down on my wife very frequently, which she loves, yet she never reciprocated.

It would be great to get a woman’s perspective on this and the motivation for a woman’s desire to give a man a blowjob.

I don't do things with my lovers, blow jobs, anal, etc., that I don't do with my husband. My husband gets all of me. Any denial games we play are as much for him as for me.
I love giving oral to a man, it is a feeling of being in control of the man and his orgasm, and my ability to cause it.
While I enjoy swallowing all a man has to give, I'm more like Sophie in that prefer to have them cum in my pussy or my ass.

Farmgirl, Solidarity in where our men should cum.

Sophie.

[MrCurious78]

Hi ladies,

I am 42 and very happily married to the same girl for 17 years. Our sex life wasn't so great for years during our marriage. Sex felt to her just a duty. She had had a few partners before we were married but confessed they were just because she wanted to be accepted. She has always felt self-conscious over her body weight (she really struggles with weight loss).

Anyways, we went on our 'honeymoon' 16 years late to a gorgeous Caribbean resort last year. Naturally, having to walk around in a bathing suit and light dresses made her a bit self-conscious. I simply always grabbed her hand, told her how beautiful she is, and just enjoyed being with her. That completely changed our dynamic. Suddenly, she became confident. And there is nothing more sexy than a confident woman showing off her assets at a beach. She became an animal in bed. The second to last night we started talking about our sex fantasies. Naturally, as a man, the whole FFM thing was my fantasy. She was put off by that, but told me her fantasy of being fucked by two men at the same time with me watching. I was a bit turned off, but the seed was planted. Over the past year, as our sex got even better, I have become simply addicted to seeing her face in pleasure and fingers while we fuck. The last night, she came out on to our balcony completely nude and we fucked for four hours. The confidence turned me into an animal.

The problem is, we got leveled by COVID this year and our physical strength is gone. The oddity is that my member literally grew pretty huge and it's turned on my wife tremendously. Not sure if the disease or the lots more sex. Regardless, she has shown so many proclivities to being a hotwife. She has an insatiable sex drive. Problem is, she has difficulty getting off. She's only cum once in our marriage while I was inside her. She insists she doesn't care about that and only loves my cock. Physically, I can tell that's just not quite true. I don't doubt her love and her devotion to me... and over the past year, I don't even care about my own prior fantasies. I am completely addicted to that pleasure face she shows when getting railed from behind.

The question is... and I have read a lot on the subject... and I have seen the whole baby-steps kind of philosophy. But are there any tips on getting a self-conscious girl who makes me lose my mind when she is with me into pushing the boundaries more. We are pretty private. I came from a very conservative Christian family... she not so much, but she's had a very steady sense of traditional morality and I worry she is thinking she's corrupting me. She doesn't like her body but delights in showing it to me at home. She always covers up as much as possible when outside the home. I always try to show her how hawt she is with PDA.

Oh, and one more thing. She has a very firm boundary between simply sharing fantasies and role-playing in bed. She does not like to talk about hotwifing in bed with me. It's ok when she's getting off by herself with sex toys, and I'm always invited if available.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

[Spartan Shield]

Thanks Sophie and Farmgirl. That’s really interesting. Clearly a lot of guys experience a significant drop off in that type of sex in particular after marriage, both those in cuckolding relationships, and guys like me who aren’t. Something is causing that across a wide range of couples/relationships/ situations. It seems from what you are saying is that, at least for the two of you, giving blowjobs isn’t a part of “courtship” of how a woman attracts a new man, and is just an everyday part of your sexual repertoire - as much as kissing or penetrative sex.

Great to get your input - many thanks.

[Sophie]

Thanks Sophie and Farmgirl. That’s really interesting. Clearly a lot of guys experience a significant drop off in that type of sex in particular after marriage, both those in cuckolding relationships, and guys like me who aren’t. Something is causing that across a wide range of couples/relationships/ situations. It seems from what you are saying is that, at least for the two of you, giving blowjobs isn’t a part of “courtship” of how a woman attracts a new man, and is just an everyday part of your sexual repertoire - as much as kissing or penetrative sex.

Great to get your input - many thanks.

Spartan Shield, There are ladies that do oral before marriage to interest and alure a guy, but save their pussy for after they are married as they see that as being their extra special gift for their husband. I think you have possibly summed up Farmgirl and certainly me correctly. We are all similar yet different in certain ways in this LS.

Sophie.

[Farmgirl]

Thanks Sophie and Farmgirl. That’s really interesting. Clearly a lot of guys experience a significant drop off in that type of sex in particular after marriage, both those in cuckolding relationships, and guys like me who aren’t. Something is causing that across a wide range of couples/relationships/ situations. It seems from what you are saying is that, at least for the two of you, giving blowjobs isn’t a part of “courtship” of how a woman attracts a new man, and is just an everyday part of your sexual repertoire - as much as kissing or penetrative sex.

Great to get your input - many thanks.

Spartan Shield, There are ladies that do oral before marriage to interest and alure a guy, but save their pussy for after they are married as they see that as being their extra special gift for their husband. I think you have possibly summed up Farmgirl and certainly me correctly. We are all similar yet different in certain ways in this LS.

Sophie.

[LuckyMandyuk]

Hi all and especially to the VHW’s of which I hope to be one soon. My own circumstances mirror many of your’s as do many of the things you say. So much great advice, will also be good to talk about things that I usually only talk about with my hubby. (My hubby is my best friend and it’s not something you talk about to family lol)

[Sophie]

Thanks Sophie and Farmgirl. That’s really interesting. Clearly a lot of guys experience a significant drop off in that type of sex in particular after marriage, both those in cuckolding relationships, and guys like me who aren’t. Something is causing that across a wide range of couples/relationships/ situations. It seems from what you are saying is that, at least for the two of you, giving blowjobs isn’t a part of “courtship” of how a woman attracts a new man, and is just an everyday part of your sexual repertoire - as much as kissing or penetrative sex.

Great to get your input - many thanks.

Spartan Shield, There are ladies that do oral before marriage to interest and alure a guy, but save their pussy for after they are married as they see that as being their extra special gift for their husband. I think you have possibly summed up Farmgirl and certainly me correctly. We are all similar yet different in certain ways in this LS.

Sophie.

Farmgirl, Glad you confirmed my thoughts were right.

Sophie.