Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

I'd like to delve deeper into his texts and her responses, and how he seems to have accomplished a power play with her, and the implications. There are additional details that came out last night, that inform this conversation. Gotta run now!

Not going to get too deep here, but to close this concept. Most of what I wanted to say has already come out in other postings from yesterday and today.

SW mentioned that he told her "I am very picky" when it comes to dating a woman.

He also said something else that has the same implication, that the woman has to prove herself worthy.

SW said she is not as quick on the reply as she used to be and just let these comments go unanswered.

After she finally told me about these, I quickly came to the conclusion that Mr. S is doing a power play, where he grabs the power and deliberately makes the woman feel "less than" and that she is the one who has to do all the work.

And his change of course after sleeping with her is also consistent with this conclusion.

Unfortunately, SW sent him that text on Saturday afternoon about "can't wait for your big cock inside me again" (or equivalent) which just feeds his approach and gives him even more perceived power. SW is not at this point sophisticated enough to see this in advance. I did point it out to her in hopes she will internalize the point and avoid it in the future. Also noted to her that this approach is a bit juvenile and it's unfortunate he plays at that level.

[afagehi7]

She should just hit it and quit it next time since she is intent on a next time.

I think you've got him pegged. Big fish in a small pond and playing some childish game. SW wanted to conquer the big fish from her past and now she has. It's opened the door to future hotwife activity so all's not lost.

I'd push her to go silent and possibly cancel their visit unless she understands everything whereas he's not going to be what she wants but she just wants another ride on the big D.

Having great fun following your adventures.

[54321]

NEXT!!


54321

[kaskap79]

She should just hit it and quit it next time since she is intent on a next time.

I think you've got him pegged. Big fish in a small pond and playing some childish game. SW wanted to conquer the big fish from her past and now she has. It's opened the door to future hotwife activity so all's not lost.

I'd push her to go silent and possibly cancel their visit unless she understands everything whereas he's not going to be what she wants but she just wants another ride on the big D.

Having great fun following your adventures.

My wife had a similar experience.

They way the bull turned and suddenly gave up his game and came forward and saying what he wanted was when I told my wife to send this message to him:

"I take your silence as you are not interested in meeting with me again. Later this week I will cancel my flight and hotel".

After that there was no problem in getting him to response quickly and also telling if there was times where he could not respond for different reasons.

It turned the game to my wife being in power.

[TheHammer]

To take her mind off the saga of Mr. S and to continue the general hotwife path, introduce more pure fantasy with sexy talk and roleplay for the two of you to enjoy.

Here are some ideas:

Get her a wig, temporary tattoos and some slutty clothes and have her “show up” as an experienced escort with a different persona and you can play the shy inexperienced one.

Your car breaks down on a lonely highway and bikers stop to help and this leads to her being taken into town while you stay behind with the car.

You offer her up to close a business deal. Tie her up and blindfold her and then you can play the role of yourself and the potential business partner and hand her over to “him”. Get a large dildo (slightly bigger than yourself) to help play the role of the potential business partner. The business partner could even be a black former professional athlete.

Dirty talk involving a college student that you hire for some work around the house and she uses him for his cock.

A very hands on new personal trainer.

[KyGrappler80]

This may be contrarian, but I don't think "taking control" on her part involves being cool about this and letting him come to her, as much as it is about her recognizing that he isn't a boyfriend but more of a FB. As a result, her being forward and aggressive is consistent with her being in control. One thought for consideration. If she wants to play games, instead of one that isn't fun, she could be teasing about his lack of response, send a pic where she is mostly clothed, and telling him that if he gets his act together, he might see more. If not, she can't be sure he is interested. Basically, a "pay to play" approach. If so, then I think telling him that she is shopping for lingerie for their next get together. Does he want to have input? Maybe pics from the dressing room. I think he will engage.

[Mark K]

SF, from what I am reading here, and from my past readings and listening to podcasts, you both seem to be following a somewhat normal course of situational events that most couples involved with consensual non-monogamy go through; highs and lows and confusion, be it swinging, or Hotwifing, threesomes, etc. I know there are a lot of details being digested here, about your wife, the men, and her actions, etc, but I don't think we have heard a reflection from you on how you are doing and feeling about this. Can you go outside of the details, up to 30,000 feet so to speak, and tell us what it is like for you, in general terms, and how it feels now that SW has accomplished a long-held fantasy of yours and actually become a Hotwife!

[veub]

I am confused by the fact that you needed her to describe him. You've seen and met him before and that should give you a pretty good idea about him - excluding penis size.

[slenderfish]

SF, from what I am reading here, and from my past readings and listening to podcasts, you both seem to be following a somewhat normal course of situational events that most couples involved with consensual non-monogamy go through; highs and lows and confusion, be it swinging, or Hotwifing, threesomes, etc. I know there are a lot of details being digested here, about your wife, the men, and her actions, etc, but I don't think we have heard a reflection from you on how you are doing and feeling about this. Can you go outside of the details, up to 30,000 feet so to speak, and tell us what it is like for you, in general terms, and how it feels now that SW has accomplished a long-held fantasy of yours and actually become a Hotwife!

Thanks, it's time for the big overview. I kind of did this indirectly in prior posts, but will go ahead more specifically now.

- I am happy and overcome with appreciation for my lovely (!!!) wife who has taken my longstanding desire and really put herself "out there" in so many ways, in order to provide this to me. I have refocused my overall communication with SW to continue pointing to this and reaffirming my love for her, that we are indeed going to another level in our marriage.

- I am both turned on and also feeling angst, from one moment to another and from one day to another. It seems fully consistent with what I expected would be coming from this, but of course the actuality is not possible to anticipate. In any case, I'm doing fine with it. My bigger concerns continue to focus on SW and how she manages herself with such a shock to what used to be the "normal" and is now so different. Let's remember that I have been thinking about this, lurking on this board, etc. for at least five years and therefore my mindset has already adapted, and it's merely the reality that is the adjustment. Her situation is the reality is difficult but the bigger issue is her mindset, it's really a tall order to think it can change in eight weeks. Yet here we are, and she's being a champ on the roller coaster of emotions.

- We are seeing early fruits in the following areas:

a) She is feeling more powerful and her libido seems to have increased.

b) She knows I am now trustworthy with my emotions and that jealousy and anger do not figure into the equation. As such, she is now being much more communicative about the details. But it's early days, and we both know she defaults and prefers to be independent (in all areas of her life) and therefore seeming to be secretive. This will be an ongoing theme to manage.

c) She has done some reading and thinking about sex and sexuality, and about hotwifing and cuckolding, and is starting to embrace what this means for me (what I'm looking for and not looking for, especially not cuckold) and for her (that she is free to decide what she wants out of it and to pursue that).

d) Better and more intimate, honest communication. We are having so many heart-to-heart conversations and expressing love and appreciation for each other as never before.

e) She is now noticing men looking at her, and is taking their attentions as a positive thing, vs. before, when she had on a kind of protective energy bubble to ward off men and/or to not notice them. She used to think nothing good can come from it, so it was fully shut down on so many levels. No longer. Example: When she was out to dinner with a girlfriend and her two nieces last visit, some guys were giving SW some attention and she was subtly encouraging it. Her nieces noticed the guys' attentions and they became angered, offering to SW to tell those guys off, etc. SW told the girls to let it go, that it's okay, that nothing will come of it anyway, etc.

f) She has opened up about her prior relationships, communicating feelings of loss and happiness and how she still feels about these men. Again, I believe this is because she has a deeper trust in me, that I will have empathy and appreciation instead of jealousy etc.

- I love the details she has now provided regarding her encounter, and the fact that she seems determined to continue even in light of the recent change in his communication to her (e.g. she was loving the attention and the hot texting in the leadup to sex but he has all but dropped off the face of the earth). It has fed my imagination and I get such a thrill that it's not merely a concept and fantasy, but my beautiful wife has actually been naked and had sex with a tall and handsome man, and she is all set to do so again!.

It has been very difficult for her, emotionally. As noted previously:

1) She lost some weight. Anxiety and uncertainty, for sure, and also her pride to be "perfect" for a man if he is going to see her naked. Probably on the verge of where she ought not to lose any more weight. I'm now paying closer attention to what and how much she eats at meals, just to be sure.

2) She is hitting the wine a bit harder than usual. Again, apparently managing her anxiety and uncertainty. Had a couple of negative outcomes recently (e.g. she dropped out of her morning plans for us on Sunday because of being up too late on Saturday night and drinking too much wine; also scraped her car door against a concrete pillar in a local parking structure as a result of being distracted with thoughts, out with girls drinking wine, etc.).

3) She gets overwhelmed from time to time and begins with "it's all your fault" etc. But these have become the onramp for meaningful, heart-to-heart conversations that tend to end quite well these days.

So, approximately eight weeks into this, my premise for the challenge (which I'll remind you was the security video of her with Mr. B and how her eyes and body language were so obviously relaxed and comfortable with him, she was happy and loose and clearly enjoying the time with him, listening to music and hanging together as a woman and man, intimate (without sex) has started to come full circle. She and I did precisely that on this past Saturday night; we had date night at home and really relaxed and connected in a way that I can't recall for many years. And had terrific sex to boot!

If she abandoned it now, and never went back, I'll be happy and appreciative in any case. I'll know this feeling and the intense appreciation for her, and I certainly have more inventory in the mental library of my sexy wife.

And that's all I have to say about that.

[slenderfish]

I am confused by the fact that you needed her to describe him. You've seen and met him before and that should give you a pretty good idea about him - excluding penis size.

I met him once, last November, when she and I were out at a "happening" restaurant and had transitioned over to the connected "hopping" hotel bar/lounge/club on a Saturday night. It was pretty dark in there and there was music, dancing and a lot of people. He was there with his girlfriend. So I have a general recollection of him, when SW mentioned she was going to send him a text message, but essentially lost the image of his face in my mind since then.

Remember, this is her stomping ground, where she grew up. She has all the history, knows all the players. I'm merely a visitor when I'm with her. And as you can now see from our comings and goings, she travels back there without me much more often than I'm traveling there with her.

As for the description, at some point I wanted a more detailed description of how she perceives him. This to add to my imaginative video of her encounter with him. If I can't have an actual video, I at least want to develop a video in my mind. She is my muse, my porn star, my princess.

When she asked me if there is any chance he is more handsome than she is beautiful (e.g. a power imbalance based on looks) I said I don't recall sufficiently to be able to make a strong conclusion. But now I'm good. He is a very handsome man. Of course SW is at another level, as we can see from the images posted in the Hotties section. She just needs to embrace it rather being in denial.

[MichaelW]

I once heard a glamor photographer say that he wasted the first day of a shoot, being distant, not happy with the poses of a beautiful woman who was used to being praised. The next day was when the photo magic happened, as the model, feeling rejected from the first day, stepped up her game, tried harder. He distances so she pursues. Possibly the game being played here, wanting her to pursue him and thus get pulled in deeper than she would normally. She is far to hot to put up with such games. This is recreational sex in hotwifing. An inconsiderate dick does not deserve the pleasure of enjoying your wife's sexual favors.

[afagehi7]

I once heard a glamor photographer say that he wasted the first day of a shoot, being distant, not happy with the poses of a beautiful woman who was used to being praised. The next day was when the photo magic happened, as the model, feeling rejected from the first day, stepped up her game, tried harder. He distances so she pursues. Possibly the game being played here, wanting her to pursue him and thus get pulled in deeper than she would normally. She is far to hot to put up with such games. This is recreational sex in hotwifing. An inconsiderate dick does not deserve the pleasure of enjoying your wife's sexual favors.

I think their history has much influence. Kinda like banging the captain of the football or cheerleader team on your 20 year class reunion. If it wasn't for the history she wouldn't be in so deep. She had mr. B who sounds superior and lost him and didn't seem to care.

[slenderfish]

I once heard a glamor photographer say that he wasted the first day of a shoot, being distant, not happy with the poses of a beautiful woman who was used to being praised. The next day was when the photo magic happened, as the model, feeling rejected from the first day, stepped up her game, tried harder. He distances so she pursues. Possibly the game being played here, wanting her to pursue him and thus get pulled in deeper than she would normally. She is far to hot to put up with such games. This is recreational sex in hotwifing. An inconsiderate dick does not deserve the pleasure of enjoying your wife's sexual favors.

I think their history has much influence. Kinda like banging the captain of the football or cheerleader team on your 20 year class reunion. If it wasn't for the history she wouldn't be in so deep. She had mr. B who sounds superior and lost him and didn't seem to care.

I'm going to have to go back and revisit their history. I found out a few days ago that she knows him via some other connection and not the one I'd assumed. I'd assumed she knew him directly or indirectly via her prior relationship with Richie Rich. I'd suggested she remind him the level he's playing and he should not get too full of himself, by referencing her past substantial (lived together for four years) time with Richie Rich. She scoffed and said that Mr. S doesn't know anything about that and she is not at this point desirous of tossing that into the mix. So yes, I'll need to go back and clarify this history, to see if it informs more of what's going on now (as you capably noted and suggested).

I hope the net of it all is that she is continuing to adjust her mind to a FWB relationship and not an emotional love-based relationship.

So I'll continue supporting her getting together with Mr. S as planned in November even though I also agree as you put it "an inconsiderate dick does not deserve the pleasure of enjoying your wife's sexual favors."

[BallSpanking]

The question arises why SW would want to hook-up again with Mr S, who is apparently (and I agree so far) an 'inconsiderate dick'.
A couple of possibilities come to mind. a) He fucked her really well and she is keen to have an encore, and b) SW is dissatisfied with his degree of engagement, and wants to reel him in, to satisfy her self-image that she can seduce an attractive, desirable player with her feminine wiles.

In either case, I doubt Mr S will show himself to be anything other than a self centered jerk, and SW will eventually be disappointed by his demeanor and attitude. This, however, is not all bad. If he does show his hand, Mrs SW will know what kind of dick she is dealing with, and 1)either dump him outright, or 2) continue to see him and fuck him, and get her own jollies, using him as nothing more than a human dildo.

In both cases, this will limit her emotional involvement with Mr S, but let us hope it does not cool her interest in exploring her sexuality as a HW.

[slenderfish]

In both cases, this will limit her emotional involvement with Mr S, but let us hope it does not cool her interest in exploring her sexuality as a HW.

This exactly. Silver lining.

[cornudoyesposa27]

I am confused by the fact that you needed her to describe him. You've seen and met him before and that should give you a pretty good idea about him - excluding penis size.

I met him once, last November, when she and I were out at a "happening" restaurant and had transitioned over to the connected "hopping" hotel bar/lounge/club on a Saturday night. It was pretty dark in there and there was music, dancing and a lot of people. He was there with his girlfriend. So I have a general recollection of him, when SW mentioned she was going to send him a text message, but essentially lost the image of his face in my mind since then.

Remember, this is her stomping ground, where she grew up. She has all the history, knows all the players. I'm merely a visitor when I'm with her. And as you can now see from our comings and goings, she travels back there without me much more often than I'm traveling there with her.

As for the description, at some point I wanted a more detailed description of how she perceives him. This to add to my imaginative video of her encounter with him. If I can't have an actual video, I at least want to develop a video in my mind. She is my muse, my porn star, my princess.

When she asked me if there is any chance he is more handsome than she is beautiful (e.g. a power imbalance based on looks) I said I don't recall sufficiently to be able to make a strong conclusion. But now I'm good. He is a very handsome man. Of course SW is at another level, as we can see from the images posted in the Hotties section. She just needs to embrace it rather being in denial.

Hi there, I love your advances and love how your wife looks. She is the perfect hotwife in my dreams. Have you tried to find pictures of her lover in facebook or any other place? Something else, excuse me for my imagination but she seems perfect for some BBC in the future. Have you thought about that scenario? Her beautiful white skin in contrast with a dark one? Oh God! it would be so exciting! Good luck my friend

[slenderfish]

The uptick continues. i was out last night, Wednesday is boys' night a couple of times a month. She was out bit earlier, making some returns and doing related "retail therapy" activities. I texted her at about 6 p.m. about my (our) buddy whom I was meeting at 7:30 and asked her if she would still be around and might join us at this new place (new for her) with live music and where we have become friends with the owner, and are treated very well. I received her reply at 7 p.m. She said she is already installed at an attractive restaurant, having some food and wine at the bar, would be heading home soonish.

I arrived home 10:30 and she was waiting for me with candles, music, and a new bottle of wine (about 1 1/2 glasses imbibed). I was planning to retire upon returning home but she wanted to talk about hotwife stuff, which we did. A couple of notes:

1) Mr S apparently has resumed text communication. She calls his texts "junior varsity" but is keeping it alive. He texted back on Sunday (after her erotic text from Saturday; she also shared that he had actually texted back on Saturday but it was too disproportionate and was terribly disappointing).
His Sunday text was more appropriate as a response to her Saturday text. She sent one on Monday, received one back on Tuesday, and so it goes approximately once per day.

2) She mentioned that she had met a guy at the bar of her hotel during this last visit, while she was with her nieces, and her group of girls went over to a local restaurant on the lake where there was some live music next door. This guy and his buddy were going to the music venue. Ran into them over there and she asked for his number so that the guys could get them into the music even after it got full, which they did. It turns out he texted her recently about getting together (her and him) next time she is in town. She also mentioned that her nieces called this guy a "DILF" and were saucy-eyed when he was around them. She said this guy is handsome and seems to be age appropriate for her, and that he also seems to be divorced. Said she might let him be the backup plan for openings remaining in the calendar during the next trip, but also said "not for hotwife activities." Hmmm...

We talked until about midnight and then I was getting quite drowsy and got up to head to bed. I leaned in to kiss her goodnight but she pulled me in and gave me a big wet kiss and asked me to wait up and help her get the dog fed, etc.

I said I'd be happy to help her if she would help me by sharing her fabulous body for a bit. I unzipped my pants and she went down on me with vigor for a good 15-20 minutes, which is the longest bj I've received from her in recent memory (we're talking at least a few years). She generally is not into this, beginning (I know, cliche) not long after we were married. I ended up fondling her and then untying her waistband to be able to rub her behind and then felt a great wetness from her vagina, so I teased her as she teased me with her mouth and tongue.

Then I positioned her on her back and slipped off her pants, while she undressed me. I started to go down on her freshly-shaved completely bare pussy, and she said she has too much wine to achieve orgasm right now and preferred I enter her without additional fanfare, to which I happily obliged.

She whispered in my ear about how her pussy has been used by Mr. S not many days ago, and will be used again in the near future. How if things work as planned, she will be seeing Mr. S on Wed night of the Thanksgiving weekend, and that I will see her on Thursday with a freshly-fucked pussy.

I said that if she ends up with Mr. S on Wed night, I'll be sure to see her immediately after and will fuck her used pussy and feel how wet and stretched she will be. She took over the narrative and said that I'll have to work hard to reclaim her and to put my seed in her, on top of his. I came to the sudden realization she is talking about taking him bare (I'm sure just of the sake of last night's dirty talk) but it was hot enough that I had a huge orgasm deep in her tight pink pussy.

She is taking to this slowly but surely.

[solstice]

My my, what a change in your wife, going from reluctant to giving you details, to setting up a romantic tryst and taking the lead. I enjoyed your update.

[afagehi7]

Fish,

Wow... Just wow. She's woke up her inner slut. I especially like the shaved bare pussy... And the dirty comments about mr. S using her pussy and the insinuation of a possible creampie. As long as she can't get knocked up run with it if she wants. It's not like he's a strange 2 am drunken bar hook up.

I'm also wondering what her comment about the DILF is. Backup plan but not hot wife? Intriguing. If she fucked them both I think your head would explode... Both of them.

If I were you I would be attempting to stalk DILF on FB or somewhere to know what he looks like. If he's hot then he could be the subject of some naughty talk while you are "using" her bare married pussy.

I'd say that this is worth the crazy amount of effort you put in.

[slenderfish]

Wow... Just wow. She's woke up her inner slut. I especially like the shaved bare pussy... And the dirty comments about mr. S using her pussy and the insinuation of a possible creampie.

I'd say that this is worth the crazy amount of effort you put in.

Upon reflecting, when I saw her bare pussy it was extra pink and the lips appeared unusually swollen (versus its usual tidy little tight bow). I almost wonder if she had been working that in her private time before I got home. That would also be consistent with her moving me off the oral I was beginning on her (remember, she is a clitoral orgasm girl and continues to complain that Mr. S only did a minimal oral on her before going for penetration; e.g. lack of balanced reciprocation). If she had recently used her vibrator, the sensation of a soft tongue would not be sufficient after the strength of her vibrator.

I reflect back to early last week one morning when she said she needed a release and pulled out her vibrator and banged out a quick and satisfying orgasm while I sat back and watched. I did recommend that she not be timid with her vibrator when she has the urge. Historically, she never masturbated in solo.

Something for me to ponder and observe.

[KyGrappler80]

Great accounts. Sounds like fun is being had. And she recognizes his bullshit. Junior Varsity. I love it.

[whenwillshe]

SF, NOTHING slow about the way she is taking to this. You guys are living a dream and need to make sure you are both on the same page.
This is moving a light speed in the HW world!

[afagehi7]

SF, NOTHING slow about the way she is taking to this. You guys are living a dream and need to make sure you are both on the same page.
This is moving a light speed in the HW world!

I think it's common that once a woman hotwifes for the first time things move much quicker. It can take years for her to lose the HW cherry but once that hurdle is overcummed and she realizes how much fun she can have it progresses quickly. Judging by the stories here that seems to be almost universal.

I wonder how good Mr S gave it to SW. How much of her putting up with his JV style is he was a fantastic lay and how much is her past with him. I'm guessing it's a 50-50.

Hopefully fish explores this DILF. It could be a potential replacement for Mr S as I think she'll become bored will Mr S after another round or two unless he moves his game up to varsity. A guy for occasional fun out of town seems ideal to me... No worries about them getting too close. I'm not sure yet how SW would be with a charming local guy who could really put the moves on her.

[slenderfish]

SF, NOTHING slow about the way she is taking to this. You guys are living a dream and need to make sure you are both on the same page.
This is moving a light speed in the HW world!

I think it's common that once a woman hotwifes for the first time things move much quicker. It can take years for her to lose the HW cherry but once that hurdle is overcummed and she realizes how much fun she can have it progresses quickly. Judging by the stories here that seems to be almost universal.

I wonder how good Mr S gave it to SW. How much of her putting up with his JV style is he was a fantastic lay and how much is her past with him. I'm guessing it's a 50-50.

Hopefully fish explores this DILF. It could be a potential replacement for Mr S as I think she'll become bored will Mr S after another round or two unless he moves his game up to varsity. A guy for occasional fun out of town seems ideal to me... No worries about them getting too close. I'm not sure yet how SW would be with a charming local guy who could really put the moves on her.

Well, the DILF is also there in her hometown area so that would be a nice second effort for her, with the built-in governing factor of time and distance.

I agree with you regarding the risk of what might transpire with a talented local guy, during these early days while she remains invested in her stated need to have deep emotional connection with her prospect.

[slenderfish]

SF, NOTHING slow about the way she is taking to this. You guys are living a dream and need to make sure you are both on the same page.
This is moving a light speed in the HW world!

Yes, I see this as the present focus, to make sure we are effectively on the same page. A lot of precedent is being set right now, so I gotta be sure that we agree on what is true precedent and what is temporary as she adjusts into the lifestyle.