Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[Redman321]

Do you feel threatened and vulnerable in any way? You probably know the most likely outcome of these kinds of arrangements as you are familiar with the natural outcome of a cuckold marriage. The men usually end up being pussy free and a bit emotionally detached from the wives/girlfriends.( it's natural that if a woman has two or more men in her life, the attention will be divided and you will cease to be the only centre of attention for her as you used to be). I mean, look around this forum and you will come across multiple examples. Your marriage has forever changed and it is not the same relationship as it once was. Do you want such developments like no sex, no physical affection and intimacy at all? Or do you want to keep it a strict hotwife arrangement? She is extremely beautiful and even if Mr. S doesn't seem interested (may be, he will as time goes by, we never know) other men will most certainly be over the moon to bed her (and develop an emotional relationship with her in that process as it is practical than most men who are not cuckolds want a gorgeous woman all by themselves). Therefore, whatever you do, I believe you are prepared for the consequences no matter how they turn out to be (may be good, most likely be bad but then I am a pessimist ).. Anyway, best of luck and if possible make love to her. Don't ever put an end to your physical relationship as husband and wife. Do enjoy this lifestyle with certain caveats... Don't be a pushover and destroy your marriage.

[slenderfish]

I don’t know if SW is like my wife in regards to a loose relationship to truth from time to time. For my wife, telling lies and half truths is always a result of her feeling guilt. People feel guilt even when there’s no need to. There’s plenty of reasons for your wife to feel guilty and plenty of reasons for her not to feel that. I’d bet money that her lack of transparency is related to feelings of guilt and a nefarious agenda. You’re doing the right things to help her not have guilt but she’s likely still feeling guilty. Maybe she likes it more than she’s comfortable you knowing, maybe she’s more fearful of what may happen then she’s willing to admit, maybe it’s something else. I’m just betting her lack of transparency is an expression of her guilt. Getting caught in the original lie causes more guilt btw.

I go with this theory. SW is terrible at hiding the truth. Not at all sophisticated. Sorry (SW) to be saying this, but it's been my experience after all these years. So I'm not really worried about something coming out of the blue, unknown and unexpected.

This goes back to my thesis that our marriage needs to go to a deeper level, which is what I challenged her in August after the Mr. B video incident. A deeper level of trust and honesty, with ourselves and with each other.

She needs deeper honesty with herself, in that she needs to accept that she is a sexy, beautiful and powerful woman with desires and the ability to achieve everything she wants in life. Also that she has weaknesses that are part of what makes her unique and wonderful. Finally, that she has a husband who loves her and wants all this for her, so that she may thrive and have a life that is more fulfilled and more complete, and who won't judge her but rather support it all. If she can accept all this, then she should have no reason to withhold anything over the longer term.

At the same time, I am trying to be more honest with myself and with her, sharing my feelings about my desire "kink" related to hotwifing, trusting that she will not judge me on it and that she will make an honest and brave attempt to understand and to find out what is possible within her levels of comfort.

She is coming along on this part of it (and this is the real basis and benefit of pursuing the HW lifestyle). The HW activities are just part of the mix and may or may not last, but hopefully the deeper levels of trust, honesty and communication will last.

[slenderfish]

Do you feel threatened and vulnerable in any way? You probably know the most likely outcome of these kinds of arrangements as you are familiar with the natural outcome of a cuckold marriage. The men usually end up being pussy free and a bit emotionally detached from the wives/girlfriends.( it's natural that if a woman has two or more men in her life, the attention will be divided and you will cease to be the only centre of attention for her as you used to be). I mean, look around this forum and you will come across multiple examples. Your marriage has forever changed and it is not the same relationship as it once was. Do you want such developments like no sex, no physical affection and intimacy at all? Or do you want to keep it a strict hotwife arrangement? She is extremely beautiful and even if Mr. S doesn't seem interested (may be, he will as time goes by, we never know) other men will most certainly be over the moon to bed her (and develop an emotional relationship with her in that process as it is practical than most men who are not cuckolds want a gorgeous woman all by themselves). Therefore, whatever you do, I believe you are prepared for the consequences no matter how they turn out to be (may be good, most likely be bad but then I am a pessimist ).. Anyway, best of luck and if possible make love to her. Don't ever put an end to your physical relationship as husband and wife. Do enjoy this lifestyle with certain caveats... Don't be a pushover and destroy your marriage.

Thanks for the note, the caveat, the concern.

Yes, I do have a level of vulnerability on this, which is a necessary part of the mix. However, as of now I am not worried in that Mr. S is far away, he does have a long-term relationship and life that just will not be possible to cross into with SW, and also he's shown he is basically aloof and in it solely for the physical elements.

The possible concern at this point is whether SW will want to continue, after the experience with Mr. S. It's my hope that she will want to continue, at which point we will sit down and reboot the arrangement, especially if she wants to try something closer to home.

They say that this genie can't be put back into the bottle. We will find out; I hope at many levels that this is true for SW and me. I look forward to our journey and what we will continue to learn about ourselves and each other along the way.

I am learning more about myself and it seems we are presently exclusively heading down the hotwife path. I'm kind of an alpha person but from a beta posture (e.g. "topping from the bottom") and from the kink perspective, am really in this for the added sex with SW as well as her opening up to her sexuality, etc. I can't envision being denied or pushed away. I told her as much; that I'll fight as needed to maintain the role as her focus and husband and time and interest. I think she needs to hear this from time to time, to know it's true and that she can and should use this as her foundation in this adventure.

Finally, I'm an optimist so I get what comes with that. As I told SW, I'm used to accomplishing goals and am good at it. I want it all (or as much as I can achieve) from life.

[slenderfish]

Does she have opportunities to sneak around now if she wanted or would that be impossible?

Lots of opportunities but she doesn't do it (sneaking around here).

I'm quite certain on this.

[slenderfish]

SW asked me earlier to join her upstairs (semi-private area) out of earshot from her niece.

Apparently Mr. S has (as I anticipated) come back onto the texting with SW and has affirmed he will be meeting her on the Wednesday night (before Thanksgiving). She asked me if I have any reservations about having offered that night, and I congratulated her on getting his attention and of course she should go forward with it. Reservations, not really but of course it's exciting and nervous. But I didn't tell her that.

It's all set, she will arrive late Tues and check into the hotel, have a slow day on Wed including lunch with her mother, then have a slow afternoon getting ready for Mr. S.

I'll be traveling that direction with my adult son on Wed afternoon and will arrive while she is out with Mr. S. She has asked me to steer clear of the area and she will meet me (us all) at the family Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, midday. I will respect this request, so my travel with my son will be continuous from the flight to that area, picking up rental car, having dinner, then going over to the house of SW's sister (about 45 min drive from the hotel, opposite side of the metro area) for overnight. I'll get up early on Thursday with my son and some others at that house, and go for a workout, then back to the house to prepare for the big dinner. SW will arrive on her own when she arrives (presumably with a big smile on her face). That's the agreed plan.

Now SW will really get the mind swirl in preparing herself for the reality, in just a week (she travels a week from today). I'll be watching to see how this advance period rolls out, and will report my observations and thoughts as they arise.

[samlowen]

I hope everything works to plan for you. I do wonder if the lack of time to process between Wednesday night with Mr S and seeing you and her family the following day will throw her for a loop or put her in a funky head space in front of everyone.

[superb101]

You cant go by the time marks. The ones on my PC dont even match my phone.

[samlowen]

You cant go by the time marks. The ones on my PC dont even match my phone.

If you set both to network time your issue is fixed. I've found that all of my posts are time stamped correctly for me and it doesn't matter what type of device I use.

[anonymister1948]

I live in the Midwest as well and the times line up perfectly.

[slenderfish]

My post just above has the following time mark (for me):

by slenderfish » Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:55 pm

The time mark (for me) of your posting is

XXXXXX wrote: ↑
Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:24 pm

My simple math says you posted 29 minutes after mine.

I copied and pasted the above. Everyone knows the time stamps on this board can get a bit funky from time to time. It initially made me wonder but then I realized it keeps people from guessing (even trying to guess) where you live, if that's important to you.

But at the same time, I'm pleased that my story can be seen as a good fiction. I'm in a career that doesn't emphasize writing skills so it's nice for me, from time to time, to get my writing on. If my real story reads as fiction, then it's a good sign!

It is, as they say, too good to be true.... But true it is.

[slenderfish]

This is a phenomenon from OHW (the board) and not me.

Have a look at the hotties section and all the images of SW, that's about as real as it gets.

Not that it really matters to me. I'm going forward in any case.

[dorsetben]

This is a phenomenon from OHW (the board) and not me.

Have a look at the hotties section and all the images of SW, that's about as real as it gets.

Not that it really matters to me. I'm going forward in any case.
[/quote]

Good for you SF. Don't waste your keyboard time on this guy.

[XYAlpha]

You can choose to be in any time zone you want in your profile (for the Jason Bourne's out there...)

XY

[Redman321]

SW asked me earlier to join her upstairs (semi-private area) out of earshot from her niece.

Apparently Mr. S has (as I anticipated) come back onto the texting with SW and has affirmed he will be meeting her on the Wednesday night (before Thanksgiving). She asked me if I have any reservations about having offered that night, and I congratulated her on getting his attention and of course she should go forward with it. Reservations, not really but of course it's exciting and nervous. But I didn't tell her that.

It's all set, she will arrive late Tues and check into the hotel, have a slow day on Wed including lunch with her mother, then have a slow afternoon getting ready for Mr. S.

I'll be traveling that direction with my adult son on Wed afternoon and will arrive while she is out with Mr. S. She has asked me to steer clear of the area and she will meet me (us all) at the family Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, midday. I will respect this request, so my travel with my son will be continuous from the flight to that area, picking up rental car, having dinner, then going over to the house of SW's sister (about 45 min drive from the hotel, opposite side of the metro area) for overnight. I'll get up early on Thursday with my son and some others at that house, and go for a workout, then back to the house to prepare for the big dinner. SW will arrive on her own when she arrives (presumably with a big smile on her face). That's the agreed plan.

Now SW will really get the mind swirl in preparing herself for the reality, in just a week (she travels a week from today). I'll be watching to see how this advance period rolls out, and will report my observations and thoughts as they arise.

1)Hmm, before Thanksgiving!!! Do you think that your personal space and time with your wife are being compromised by a third party before an important event? This is just the beginning and as I indicated yesterday, Mr. S will eventually come around and exert his influence on SW and your relationship as a whole for that matter... I mean, no man can ignore that beautiful of a woman!! What if, in future, he (or anyone else) wants personal time with SW on Christmas, New Year etc? Will you take a back seat in your marriage and allow that? Will you allow someone else to become the head of your marriage? (As indicative from your writings, you are very much eager for SW to take a local lover.. If that happenes then the meetings will be frequent like twice or thrice a week and things may go south at any given time if your wife spends that much amount of with another man/ other men)
2) Why not once a month or two? Why twice a week (including overnighters)? Aren't you becoming utterly desperate in realizing your kink that you are blatantly and irresponsibly disregarding the potential fatal consequences? And If things go south, will you be in a position to stop this whole thing and go back to normalcy or will you allow your wife to take the driver's seat and accept any outcome (even if it's the worst for you)?

Sorry so many questions but your path looks extremely convoluted and dangerous. Sometimes, there should be people to point them out instead of praising your efforts all the time ( very evident from this thread ).

[Redman321]

Do you feel threatened and vulnerable in any way? You probably know the most likely outcome of these kinds of arrangements as you are familiar with the natural outcome of a cuckold marriage. The men usually end up being pussy free and a bit emotionally detached from the wives/girlfriends.( it's natural that if a woman has two or more men in her life, the attention will be divided and you will cease to be the only centre of attention for her as you used to be). I mean, look around this forum and you will come across multiple examples. Your marriage has forever changed and it is not the same relationship as it once was. Do you want such developments like no sex, no physical affection and intimacy at all? Or do you want to keep it a strict hotwife arrangement? She is extremely beautiful and even if Mr. S doesn't seem interested (may be, he will as time goes by, we never know) other men will most certainly be over the moon to bed her (and develop an emotional relationship with her in that process as it is practical than most men who are not cuckolds want a gorgeous woman all by themselves). Therefore, whatever you do, I believe you are prepared for the consequences no matter how they turn out to be (may be good, most likely be bad but then I am a pessimist ).. Anyway, best of luck and if possible make love to her. Don't ever put an end to your physical relationship as husband and wife. Do enjoy this lifestyle with certain caveats... Don't be a pushover and destroy your marriage.

Thanks for the note, the caveat, the concern.

Yes, I do have a level of vulnerability on this, which is a necessary part of the mix. However, as of now I am not worried in that Mr. S is far away, he does have a long-term relationship and life that just will not be possible to cross into with SW, and also he's shown he is basically aloof and in it solely for the physical elements.

The possible concern at this point is whether SW will want to continue, after the experience with Mr. S. It's my hope that she will want to continue, at which point we will sit down and reboot the arrangement, especially if she wants to try something closer to home.

They say that this genie can't be put back into the bottle. We will find out; I hope at many levels that this is true for SW and me. I look forward to our journey and what we will continue to learn about ourselves and each other along the way.

I am learning more about myself and it seems we are presently exclusively heading down the hotwife path. I'm kind of an alpha person but from a beta posture (e.g. "topping from the bottom") and from the kink perspective, am really in this for the added sex with SW as well as her opening up to her sexuality, etc. I can't envision being denied or pushed away. I told her as much; that I'll fight as needed to maintain the role as her focus and husband and time and interest. I think she needs to hear this from time to time, to know it's true and that she can and should use this as her foundation in this adventure.

Finally, I'm an optimist so I get what comes with that. As I told SW, I'm used to accomplishing goals and am good at it. I want it all (or as much as I can achieve) from life.

I can sense a tone of contradiction in your fifth para!!! You wrote that you are "presently" heading towards the hotwife path. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous, anthropologically speaking) and the main motive to delve into this lifestyle is to enhance your sex life with you wife. You can't envision the prospect of being ignored or pushed away. Ok, so for now, it is heading towards the hotwife path..
What about the future? Despite being an "alpha" in nature, will you become a cuckold and accept a sex free life if your wife becomes emotionally attached ( it may not be the case now for you but given the numerous instances in this forum, it is an extremely likely prospect) with another person and he and she demand such a thing? If not a complete denial, what about a restricted sex life for you ( once a month, that too a HJ or BJ, No penetrative sex) while an uninhabited one for your wife and her lover(s)?

Care to elaborate? Thanks...

[aztd]

Do you feel threatened and vulnerable in any way? You probably know the most likely outcome of these kinds of arrangements as you are familiar with the natural outcome of a cuckold marriage. The men usually end up being pussy free and a bit emotionally detached from the wives/girlfriends.( it's natural that if a woman has two or more men in her life, the attention will be divided and you will cease to be the only centre of attention for her as you used to be). I mean, look around this forum and you will come across multiple examples. Your marriage has forever changed and it is not the same relationship as it once was. Do you want such developments like no sex, no physical affection and intimacy at all? Or do you want to keep it a strict hotwife arrangement? She is extremely beautiful and even if Mr. S doesn't seem interested (may be, he will as time goes by, we never know) other men will most certainly be over the moon to bed her (and develop an emotional relationship with her in that process as it is practical than most men who are not cuckolds want a gorgeous woman all by themselves). Therefore, whatever you do, I believe you are prepared for the consequences no matter how they turn out to be (may be good, most likely be bad but then I am a pessimist ).. Anyway, best of luck and if possible make love to her. Don't ever put an end to your physical relationship as husband and wife. Do enjoy this lifestyle with certain caveats... Don't be a pushover and destroy your marriage.

Thanks for the note, the caveat, the concern.

Yes, I do have a level of vulnerability on this, which is a necessary part of the mix. However, as of now I am not worried in that Mr. S is far away, he does have a long-term relationship and life that just will not be possible to cross into with SW, and also he's shown he is basically aloof and in it solely for the physical elements.

The possible concern at this point is whether SW will want to continue, after the experience with Mr. S. It's my hope that she will want to continue, at which point we will sit down and reboot the arrangement, especially if she wants to try something closer to home.

They say that this genie can't be put back into the bottle. We will find out; I hope at many levels that this is true for SW and me. I look forward to our journey and what we will continue to learn about ourselves and each other along the way.

I am learning more about myself and it seems we are presently exclusively heading down the hotwife path. I'm kind of an alpha person but from a beta posture (e.g. "topping from the bottom") and from the kink perspective, am really in this for the added sex with SW as well as her opening up to her sexuality, etc. I can't envision being denied or pushed away. I told her as much; that I'll fight as needed to maintain the role as her focus and husband and time and interest. I think she needs to hear this from time to time, to know it's true and that she can and should use this as her foundation in this adventure.

Finally, I'm an optimist so I get what comes with that. As I told SW, I'm used to accomplishing goals and am good at it. I want it all (or as much as I can achieve) from life.

I can sense a tone of contradiction in your fifth para!!! You wrote that you are "presently" heading towards the hotwife path. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous, anthropologically speaking) and the main motive to delve into this lifestyle is to enhance your sex life with you wife. You can't envision the prospect of being ignored or pushed away. Ok, so for now, it is heading towards the hotwife path..
What about the future? Despite being an "alpha" in nature, will you become a cuckold and accept a sex free life if your wife becomes emotionally attached ( it may not be the case now for you but given the numerous instances in this forum, it is an extremely likely prospect) with another person and he and she demand such a thing? If not a complete denial, what about a restricted sex life for you ( once a month, that too a HJ or BJ, No penetrative sex) while an uninhabited one for your wife and her lover(s)?

Care to elaborate? Thanks...

. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous

Judgemental not cool

[Redman321]

Do you feel threatened and vulnerable in any way? You probably know the most likely outcome of these kinds of arrangements as you are familiar with the natural outcome of a cuckold marriage. The men usually end up being pussy free and a bit emotionally detached from the wives/girlfriends.( it's natural that if a woman has two or more men in her life, the attention will be divided and you will cease to be the only centre of attention for her as you used to be). I mean, look around this forum and you will come across multiple examples. Your marriage has forever changed and it is not the same relationship as it once was. Do you want such developments like no sex, no physical affection and intimacy at all? Or do you want to keep it a strict hotwife arrangement? She is extremely beautiful and even if Mr. S doesn't seem interested (may be, he will as time goes by, we never know) other men will most certainly be over the moon to bed her (and develop an emotional relationship with her in that process as it is practical than most men who are not cuckolds want a gorgeous woman all by themselves). Therefore, whatever you do, I believe you are prepared for the consequences no matter how they turn out to be (may be good, most likely be bad but then I am a pessimist ).. Anyway, best of luck and if possible make love to her. Don't ever put an end to your physical relationship as husband and wife. Do enjoy this lifestyle with certain caveats... Don't be a pushover and destroy your marriage.

Thanks for the note, the caveat, the concern.

Yes, I do have a level of vulnerability on this, which is a necessary part of the mix. However, as of now I am not worried in that Mr. S is far away, he does have a long-term relationship and life that just will not be possible to cross into with SW, and also he's shown he is basically aloof and in it solely for the physical elements.

The possible concern at this point is whether SW will want to continue, after the experience with Mr. S. It's my hope that she will want to continue, at which point we will sit down and reboot the arrangement, especially if she wants to try something closer to home.

They say that this genie can't be put back into the bottle. We will find out; I hope at many levels that this is true for SW and me. I look forward to our journey and what we will continue to learn about ourselves and each other along the way.

I am learning more about myself and it seems we are presently exclusively heading down the hotwife path. I'm kind of an alpha person but from a beta posture (e.g. "topping from the bottom") and from the kink perspective, am really in this for the added sex with SW as well as her opening up to her sexuality, etc. I can't envision being denied or pushed away. I told her as much; that I'll fight as needed to maintain the role as her focus and husband and time and interest. I think she needs to hear this from time to time, to know it's true and that she can and should use this as her foundation in this adventure.

Finally, I'm an optimist so I get what comes with that. As I told SW, I'm used to accomplishing goals and am good at it. I want it all (or as much as I can achieve) from life.

I can sense a tone of contradiction in your fifth para!!! You wrote that you are "presently" heading towards the hotwife path. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous, anthropologically speaking) and the main motive to delve into this lifestyle is to enhance your sex life with you wife. You can't envision the prospect of being ignored or pushed away. Ok, so for now, it is heading towards the hotwife path..
What about the future? Despite being an "alpha" in nature, will you become a cuckold and accept a sex free life if your wife becomes emotionally attached ( it may not be the case now for you but given the numerous instances in this forum, it is an extremely likely prospect) with another person and he and she demand such a thing? If not a complete denial, what about a restricted sex life for you ( once a month, that too a HJ or BJ, No penetrative sex) while an uninhabited one for your wife and her lover(s)?

Care to elaborate? Thanks...

. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous

Judgemental not cool

I said, anthropologically speaking. The concept has been discarded by science on multiple occasions and it is based on false narratives of masculinity. I can cite sources if you want me to..Having an opinion on something is not equavalent of being judgemental even if "that opinion" unintentionally offends some people..

[solstice]

Reman writes: And If things go south, will you be in a position to stop this whole thing and go back to normalcy

When you think SlenderWife, (as far as SF knows), has only had one full hotwife experience, so things are not quite running out of control. his main problem that his wife is economical with the truth, hopefully when she relaxes a little into the lifestyle she will see the benefit of keeping her husband fully in the picture.

[aztd]

Thanks for the note, the caveat, the concern.

Yes, I do have a level of vulnerability on this, which is a necessary part of the mix. However, as of now I am not worried in that Mr. S is far away, he does have a long-term relationship and life that just will not be possible to cross into with SW, and also he's shown he is basically aloof and in it solely for the physical elements.

The possible concern at this point is whether SW will want to continue, after the experience with Mr. S. It's my hope that she will want to continue, at which point we will sit down and reboot the arrangement, especially if she wants to try something closer to home.

They say that this genie can't be put back into the bottle. We will find out; I hope at many levels that this is true for SW and me. I look forward to our journey and what we will continue to learn about ourselves and each other along the way.

I am learning more about myself and it seems we are presently exclusively heading down the hotwife path. I'm kind of an alpha person but from a beta posture (e.g. "topping from the bottom") and from the kink perspective, am really in this for the added sex with SW as well as her opening up to her sexuality, etc. I can't envision being denied or pushed away. I told her as much; that I'll fight as needed to maintain the role as her focus and husband and time and interest. I think she needs to hear this from time to time, to know it's true and that she can and should use this as her foundation in this adventure.

Finally, I'm an optimist so I get what comes with that. As I told SW, I'm used to accomplishing goals and am good at it. I want it all (or as much as I can achieve) from life.

I can sense a tone of contradiction in your fifth para!!! You wrote that you are "presently" heading towards the hotwife path. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous, anthropologically speaking) and the main motive to delve into this lifestyle is to enhance your sex life with you wife. You can't envision the prospect of being ignored or pushed away. Ok, so for now, it is heading towards the hotwife path..
What about the future? Despite being an "alpha" in nature, will you become a cuckold and accept a sex free life if your wife becomes emotionally attached ( it may not be the case now for you but given the numerous instances in this forum, it is an extremely likely prospect) with another person and he and she demand such a thing? If not a complete denial, what about a restricted sex life for you ( once a month, that too a HJ or BJ, No penetrative sex) while an uninhabited one for your wife and her lover(s)?

Care to elaborate? Thanks...

. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous

Judgemental not cool

I said, anthropologically speaking. The concept has been discarded by science on multiple occasions and it is based on false narratives of masculinity. I can cite sources if you want me to..Having an opinion on something is not equavalent of being judgemental even if "that opinion" unintentionally offends some people..

anthropologically no need if you weren't rude.

This is a hard thing to figure out. He is trying to understand
And explain his feelings in a rational way. The thing is this is an emotional thing and really had to explain by logic. Little
Has been written on it by "experts", and what was seems more like theory. No Doubt your pretty smart and educated.

[slenderfish]

Reman writes: And If things go south, will you be in a position to stop this whole thing and go back to normalcy

When you think SlenderWife, (as far as SF knows), has only had one full hotwife experience, so things are not quite running out of control. his main problem that his wife is economical with the truth, hopefully when she relaxes a little into the lifestyle she will see the benefit of keeping her husband fully in the picture.

THIS

[slenderfish]

Sorry so many questions but your path looks extremely convoluted and dangerous. Sometimes, there should be people to point them out instead of praising your efforts all the time ( very evident from this thread ).

The Wed night before Thanksgiving was my idea. I'm getting in late that night and traveling with my son, and we have some errands to do as well that evening. The present objective is to give SW time with Mr. S in order to be able to relax with him, so she can become more comfortable with another man. She said her first effort was so full of nervous "firsts" that she really didn't enjoy the way we had envisioned. Again, she needs to believe she has a better connection in order to relax and enjoy.

So the time with Mr. S is shaping into a sex for the physical pleasure arrangement, which SW was fully against when we first discussed doing this "for real" but now she's adapting her expectations based on the practical realities. She continues to say that she is really only doing this "for me" but I know her well enough that she already has her own desires and is not yet ready to acknowledge these to me. Her subtle actions speak very loudly to me on this point.

Therefore, I suggested she see him twice this trip, and suggested the Wed night as the first, and then their prior plan will be the second. If they are able to work out a third, then good for them.

I also suggested the Wed during our initial post-hotwife conversion conversation wherein I pressed for more goodies for me, including the concept of reclaim sex. We will do the reclaim on Thursday or, if things really work out, late Wed night.

If after returning home she is more oriented to liking this for her own sake, then it puts me and us in a better position to reset for the next time and/or next guy. If she is getting extra goodies from it, then I can more easily ask for more goodies from my perspective, to have a balanced approach. Things like pictures, videos, open phone line, being in the room live and/or participation.

[slenderfish]

I said, anthropologically speaking. The concept has been discarded by science on multiple occasions and it is based on false narratives of masculinity. I can cite sources if you want me to..Having an opinion on something is not equavalent of being judgemental even if "that opinion" unintentionally offends some people..

I'm clearly not up to speed on the latest science on this matter. I was just using what I thought was (is) common vernacular to answer the question.

[slenderfish]

Lying can be the result of a feeling of inferiority, My wife had a feeling inadequacy and could tell the most blatant lies about herself to others, knowing I knew it was untrue: Although it would be hard to believe a beautiful woman like SW would ever feel inferior.

Good point. Perhaps some of this at play. As I said in my other post, SW is not adept at lying, and the truth tends to show itself over time. It's really about me and how I deal with it. I believe that she will realize it's too much effort to play the game, and that there really is no downside to the truth. She just has to get to the point of trusting herself and me. This element will be slow to achieve but I am already seeing some changes for the better.

Also, in SW's case the lying is more about her being secretive, for some reason. In some cases she is just processing and discusses when ready. In other cases I think she wants to have the feeling of more control. In still other cases, she wants to remain in denial with respect to adjusting her longstanding image of herself vs. the present and changing reality.

[slenderfish]

I hope everything works to plan for you. I do wonder if the lack of time to process between Wednesday night with Mr S and seeing you and her family the following day will throw her for a loop or put her in a funky head space in front of everyone.

This is a realistic concern. She has asked for me to give her time and space to reset, as she may need, from her Wed night encounter and showing up on Thursday for the family shindig. Knowing her, here's how it'll likely unfold:

- She arrives late Tuesday night, checking in to hotel and promptly going to sleep

- Slow morning Wednesday, walk to late morning coffee, then back to hotel to get ready for lunch with girlfriend

- Back to hotel mid-afternoon Wednesday, perhaps hair appointment, getting ready for date with Mr. S

- Mr. S asked her if they can do a hotel then dinner then hotel but she said she prefers to meet early for drinks and then dinner, then back to hotel

- Mr. S presumably has to go home at some point that evening (even if midnight) because he has family in town

- SW will have consumed a couple of glasses of wine and will sleep it off with slow morning Thursday

- Will walk to coffee then back to hotel for a bit of workout and firing up her system for the day

- The getting ready and driving over to meet the family (and me) early afternoon

If I guess correctly, there is a distinct possibility that Mr. S may be out of there earlier than SW expects (e.g. once he's "done"). If so, she may even call me to join her that night for the reclaim and we will start the Thursday slow morning together, as noted above.

[slenderfish]

I can sense a tone of contradiction in your fifth para!!! You wrote that you are "presently" heading towards the hotwife path. You also wrote that you are an alpha person (though the concept of alpha, beta, omega and sigma is ridiculous, anthropologically speaking) and the main motive to delve into this lifestyle is to enhance your sex life with you wife. You can't envision the prospect of being ignored or pushed away. Ok, so for now, it is heading towards the hotwife path..

What about the future? Despite being an "alpha" in nature, will you become a cuckold and accept a sex free life if your wife becomes emotionally attached ( it may not be the case now for you but given the numerous instances in this forum, it is an extremely likely prospect) with another person and he and she demand such a thing? If not a complete denial, what about a restricted sex life for you ( once a month, that too a HJ or BJ, No penetrative sex) while an uninhabited one for your wife and her lover(s)?

Care to elaborate? Thanks...

No interest in cuckold. As SW has been inquiring for herself all this hotwife stuff, it took her some time to glean the difference between what I call hotwifing and cuckoldry.

She is a fabulously beautiful woman but her sexuality is stifled. I have been trying to assist with her embracing that power and side of her. I believe this Hotwifing can help on that. I also get very turned on by the concept of others looking at her, desiring her, etc. She always poo-pooed it but we now have proof.

So my vision of the perfect encounter (and I've described this to SW) is another man who lights her fire being in the room with me and SW and we each enjoy her sweet offerings and effectively do a mutual acknowledgement of the gift that we know as SW, and at the same time SW is receiving the attention and adoration and climaxes she deserves, and is also appreciative of a) him for agreeing to this arrangement and b) me for suggesting it.

Not sure we'll ever get to exactly that, but it's a concept.