Great story laney. It's a shame the first guy wasn't a little better at turning you on. It's hot that you like white guys. I see lots of white women with black guys but not the other way.
About the picture, it's impossible to tell your gender from the pic. Admins are just protecting the forum. VHWs get more privileges and whatnot. For example, a guy blasted a VHW and got banned. If he had blasted anyone else maybe he would have gotten a warning. I think if you did the pic so it was easy to confirm gender it wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, too many men fake being a woman and even try tricks to get the VHW status such as obscuring the pic or elaborate photoshop. I'm sure you understand they're just protecting the forum. I hope you'll keep trying.
Confessions of a Wannabe
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
I found a good website to shrink my photos. I also decided to block out my face and put them in a gray filter. The avatar I have up right now has the the exact dress and shoes I wore that night. I also found a picture of me in undies showing off my unimpressive ass from back then too. I will add that as my next avatar. Maybe in a day or two.
One of my decisions to go back to craigslist is because there was no dating, no dithering about whether someone really liked me, respected me, or any of that nonsense. It was simple hedonistic motives on both parties parts and to be that was more freeing then I could have imagined.
I took my time getting ready and set off on the train to meet him. I am awkward AF but Jay he took the cake. I got off the train at the corner of his house, he apparently had come out to wait for me, I wasn't paying much attention walked right pass him I was on my phone letting him know I was there. I heard a light hey behind me but didn't pay much mind. He walked behind me for two and half blocks until I got to his front door then finally said hi loudly and I turned around to see him behind me. He had his hands in his pockets I didn't bother to reach out for a handshake and just said hi back. Even though he had told me he was 6'6 I was a little in awe of him in person.
He lived down the street from a college and it as busy with people going out even though it was summer and most of the students were gone, but the sidewalks were full. We had decide to go for drink and walked a few bars on his street but there was a game on I think, I just remember the bars were full even thought it was only 8:30ish and I didn't want to go in. Instead we walked back to the store by his house I got soda for a mixer since he said he had booze and I bought mints too. His building has a small flight of stairs with a stone ledge on both side leading up to the door.
We ended up sitting out there at the bottom of the steps directly across from each other. I was antsy and nervous and sat with my legs crossed, my foot swinging with my purse on my lap clutched between my hands. We talked a little. But mostly we sat in awkward silence, people watching while he smoked and I popped mints. Eventually He had friends walking by he stood up and talked to them for a while. One of them looked at me but he didn't introduce me, which he couldn't because he didn't even know my name. It got even more awkward and after one of his roommates came out and talked to him, he told me I was his friend and said he said hi and nodded to me as he left. Not a big deal but I felt embarrassed wondered if the roommate probably figured out why we were going to be up too.
After about an hour he asked me for a mint and invited me up. Sometimes you just have good energy with people, even though our conversation was silted and awkward it wasn't like the last two times when I felt nothing and had no attraction. He also kept looking at me, looking at my swinging ankle and up my legs, and up my body to my face. He definitely was checking me out and didn't try to hide it, his interest felt flattering to me.
I followed him upstairs. Typically dude apartment the kitchen was gross not from dirty dishes or anything but just a layer of grim, crumbs, and dust. He got us shot glasses and cleaned them I made sure he used hot water, we walked past the living room and he said if I wanted we could sit in there, but I declined so we went to his room. Which was right next door and across from the front door. In his room he had no clutter or dust it was very clean and minimalistic. He had a wooden desk pushed against the wall, a big Irish flag above it, he had a wooden chair with a laundry basket on it. He had a dresser along the wall between his desk and the his door. Then his bed in the middle of the room close to the three windows looking out to the street. He had box fan, and the windows were open. He had it on the lowest setting so a little breeze from the fan. He had had other sports paraphernalia around the top of his walls all around the room.
He made sure to tell me that he had just washed his sheets and they were clean. We sat on his bed with a big space between us. He turned his radio on, we took a few shots in our glasses and shared the soda I had bought earlier. That felt strange to me drinking out of the same bottle with a guy I didn't know. He was turned sideways towards me and I was staring straight ahead but felt his eyes on me and his staring made uncomfortable. I told him to stop starting at me, he chuckled and told me sorry but I was beautiful. He had a small tv on the floor next to his stereo, he turn it on but put it on mute, and looked ahead at the tv. I kid you not we sat up there listening to music and staring at his little tv for another 45 minutes. I just remember feeling like my face and ears were on fire. I felt the like the sexual tension was high, but neither of us made a move. I looked at my phone I noted the time to him. I felt awkward and weird and wonder if I was imagining the tension and whether I should call it quits.
I looked at him and before I could say anything, he moved closer closed the gap between us and put one of his big hands on lap and asked me what I wanted to do. I shrugged my shoulders but put my hands on his lap too my surprise he was already stiff. I started rubbing him over his jeans. He leaned back and let me. I got on my knees, and unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, He kicked off his huge sneakers, and shimmed out of his jeans, He was left with just his boxers on, I pulled those down, and finally saw his dick. It was beautiful they aren't always the most pleasing thing to look at, his was very thick not as thick as the last guy and longer, wow how big are you I asked, he said nine and half. I rubbed my hands up and down his dick. I wasn't sure I was going to fuck him but I definitely wanted to suck him.
His dick was long, he had big balls that hung down. He had prominent vine all up the backside of it. With a big head, it all looked nice with his body and perfectly proportion to his size. I gently cupped his balls then stuck out my tongue and followed the vein all the way up to the tip of his dick. I put it in my mouth and tried to make it a sloppy as possible. He had both his hands on my shoulders and he was gently holding them as I gave him a sloppy blow job. I felt myself getting excited and I was already a little wet from squirming with sexual tension, I got super wet.
I tried to get as much of his dick in my mouth, but pretty soon my gagging kicked in so I backed off, I started stroking in-between sucking the tip and going halfway down then pull it out and licking up that vein again. He pulled my chin up and leaned down and kissed me. He pulled me up so I straddled on his lap and his hard dick, he laid back and pulled me with him. We started furiously making out while I was grinding the crotch of my now soaking wet panties over his hard dick.
After a while he turned me over onto my back, he leaned over on his side, He slowly worked the skirt of dress up. We both were leaning on our elbows looking down there, He ran his hand in between my thighs and pushed them apart. His ran his finger up and down the front of my black lace underwear and said out loud how wet I was. He slid my underwear aside, and kept running his fingers up and down my slit before starting to gently rub my clit. At the time I rarely if ever rubbed my clit, and it felt amazing, I started rotating my hips while pressing up against this fingers, he applied more pressure. He then slide his big long middle finger in me, I was so wet and his while he stretched he slid right in, He stroked me, after every few strokes he brush his thumb over his clit.
I still remember clearly suddenly hearing the train right outside his window passing by and the light buzz from people passing by on the street, suddenly my light breathing seemed loud, I wondered if people could us down there, i put my hands over face and just let go and let my body feel everything. He asked me if he should get a condom I nodded. He pulled off my underwear, and leaned over to his bedside table and pulled out a few condoms and put it on the bed. I closed my legs feeling exposed and asked him to please turn off the lights. He had a dimmer was turning it down asking me if it was okay, I shook my head and told him to turn the lights off. He had no blinds or curtains and lived on a big street, we were five floors up and so the high street lamps up and down the street beamed into the room. It was dark but not pitch black and we could see each other clearly, he came back to the bed and pulled off my shoes I didn't realize I still had on. He surprised me by pulling me by my thighs to the bottom of the bed, without asking he pried my legs apart and put his mouth on my vagina.
I was shocked and tried to pull him up and told him that was okay he didn't need to do that. I closed my legs around his head, and tried to push him off. He told me to relax and please let him he loved eating pussy. I pulled his pillow over my head and let him lick me. I wasn't sure how I felt about it until he curled his tongue around my clit and started sucking it hard. I started breathing hard, he put his fingers back inside me while sucking on my clit and it felt so amazing. He ate me out while fingering me for a while. He finally came up and pulled the pillow off my face he surprised me again by leaning down and kissing me so I tasted myself on his tongue. Instead of grossing me out it turned me on, his mouth tasted faintly of his cigarettes, the mints we both chewed, of the vodka we took shots off and of me it was strangely a nice combination. He pulled off his t-shirt and open a packet and rolled the condom down his big dick. I was excited but also nervous, but I was super wet and felt stretched by his fingers.
I leaned up on my elbows, he pulled me back away from the edge to the middle of the bed. He rubbed the tip of his dick on my clit a few times, while I rolled by hips against him, he hold on to my hip and angled me sideways as we both keep watching he pushed slowly inside me, my pussy barely put a fight before his head popped inside me, he did a shallow thrust and I gasp. It didn't hurt like last time but I felt some weird stabbing type pain it wasn't extreme but I tensed up before we was halfway in, he asked me if it hurt I nodded. He leaned over me and put my legs over his thigh, relax baby, he pulled back a little and leaned over to kiss me while rubbing my clit.
I finally pulled his other shoulder over me. I wrapped my arms around him and focused on kissing him I told him to go ahead, he slowly worked his dick inside me, my pussy throbbed around his big dick. He was thrust in and out of me slow and steady working more of himself into me. I heard myself breathing loudly, it hurt but there was pleasure chasing pain. He is really a gently giant he was careful he fucked me deeply but took some time before he thrusted into me fully and bottom out inside me. He felt so good I loved every minute of it even the discomfort.
He had a lot of stamina built up a steady rhythm while fucked me deeply. When I opened my eyes he was looking right at me staring intensely at me, feel good ? I nodded and put my elbow over my eyes. He fucked me for a long time and I wasn't sure I could take anymore, my pussy was throbbing, and pulsing around him, he told me that felt good and to keep doing it. I wasn't controlling it my pussy just reacted by throbbing, pulsing, and contracting around his dick. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and asked him if he was close. He told me he hadn't had sex in a long time and he had smoked weed earlier and sometimes that made it hard for him to cum so he wasn't close to cumming and didn't even know if he could cum tonight.
I asked for a break. He pulled out of me. He asked if I wanted another shot I shook my head and asked for water. I still had my dress on and pulled the skirt down. He came back I thank him for the water and had a few damp paper towels of in his hand, be pulled my skirt back up and wiped me down. I felt a rush of butterflies in my belly, I know I just had sex with the guy but it felt very intimate. I pulled my skirt down and took a few sips before setting it down on the floor.
I turned on my tummy and put my head on his pillow, he was laying next to me on his side staring at me again. I pulled his pillow back over my head. He laughed at me, we talked a little I can't recall about what as he lay next to me we then fell into a companionable silence listening to the soft rock station and the trains passing by.
We laid there for a little bit. I sipped my water and basically just rested my head. I checked the time. I told him I had to leave in an hour to catch the last train. He reached over and pulled up my skirt. He rubbed my butt. While I laid on my stomach with my head now resting on hands on top of his pillow. He ran his finger down my middle of my butt before reaching between my legs to my pussy rubbing up and down my slit again. I spread my legs wider for him. He surprised me by licking me from behind, this time he licked my asshole down to my pussy, I wasn't sure if that was on purpose, I angled myself up and pushed his head down a little. He continue licking me and put his big fingers in me again. It felt super good.
He reached up and unzipped my dress and pulled it off. He went to take off my bra but I stopped him because I suddenly felt too naked which yes was ridiculous after we just had sex. He asked me why, I had no good response. He shrugged and pulled the cups down and started licking my nipples. He grinded and rubbed his bare dick into me up and down my slit. He finally got another condom on . He tried to get me get on top. I didn't want too and pulled him over me we were in missionary again. He slipped right inside me this time. He fucked me harder then the first round. I felt full stretched and I loved it. He fucked me for a while. After a while he realized he wasn't going to cum and I had to leave to catch the last train. I think I was relieved that I had to rush out of there because it didn't give us time to be awkward again. Before I left he asked for my number. I gave it to him.
One of my decisions to go back to craigslist is because there was no dating, no dithering about whether someone really liked me, respected me, or any of that nonsense. It was simple hedonistic motives on both parties parts and to be that was more freeing then I could have imagined.
I took my time getting ready and set off on the train to meet him. I am awkward AF but Jay he took the cake. I got off the train at the corner of his house, he apparently had come out to wait for me, I wasn't paying much attention walked right pass him I was on my phone letting him know I was there. I heard a light hey behind me but didn't pay much mind. He walked behind me for two and half blocks until I got to his front door then finally said hi loudly and I turned around to see him behind me. He had his hands in his pockets I didn't bother to reach out for a handshake and just said hi back. Even though he had told me he was 6'6 I was a little in awe of him in person.
He lived down the street from a college and it as busy with people going out even though it was summer and most of the students were gone, but the sidewalks were full. We had decide to go for drink and walked a few bars on his street but there was a game on I think, I just remember the bars were full even thought it was only 8:30ish and I didn't want to go in. Instead we walked back to the store by his house I got soda for a mixer since he said he had booze and I bought mints too. His building has a small flight of stairs with a stone ledge on both side leading up to the door.
We ended up sitting out there at the bottom of the steps directly across from each other. I was antsy and nervous and sat with my legs crossed, my foot swinging with my purse on my lap clutched between my hands. We talked a little. But mostly we sat in awkward silence, people watching while he smoked and I popped mints. Eventually He had friends walking by he stood up and talked to them for a while. One of them looked at me but he didn't introduce me, which he couldn't because he didn't even know my name. It got even more awkward and after one of his roommates came out and talked to him, he told me I was his friend and said he said hi and nodded to me as he left. Not a big deal but I felt embarrassed wondered if the roommate probably figured out why we were going to be up too.
After about an hour he asked me for a mint and invited me up. Sometimes you just have good energy with people, even though our conversation was silted and awkward it wasn't like the last two times when I felt nothing and had no attraction. He also kept looking at me, looking at my swinging ankle and up my legs, and up my body to my face. He definitely was checking me out and didn't try to hide it, his interest felt flattering to me.
I followed him upstairs. Typically dude apartment the kitchen was gross not from dirty dishes or anything but just a layer of grim, crumbs, and dust. He got us shot glasses and cleaned them I made sure he used hot water, we walked past the living room and he said if I wanted we could sit in there, but I declined so we went to his room. Which was right next door and across from the front door. In his room he had no clutter or dust it was very clean and minimalistic. He had a wooden desk pushed against the wall, a big Irish flag above it, he had a wooden chair with a laundry basket on it. He had a dresser along the wall between his desk and the his door. Then his bed in the middle of the room close to the three windows looking out to the street. He had box fan, and the windows were open. He had it on the lowest setting so a little breeze from the fan. He had had other sports paraphernalia around the top of his walls all around the room.
He made sure to tell me that he had just washed his sheets and they were clean. We sat on his bed with a big space between us. He turned his radio on, we took a few shots in our glasses and shared the soda I had bought earlier. That felt strange to me drinking out of the same bottle with a guy I didn't know. He was turned sideways towards me and I was staring straight ahead but felt his eyes on me and his staring made uncomfortable. I told him to stop starting at me, he chuckled and told me sorry but I was beautiful. He had a small tv on the floor next to his stereo, he turn it on but put it on mute, and looked ahead at the tv. I kid you not we sat up there listening to music and staring at his little tv for another 45 minutes. I just remember feeling like my face and ears were on fire. I felt the like the sexual tension was high, but neither of us made a move. I looked at my phone I noted the time to him. I felt awkward and weird and wonder if I was imagining the tension and whether I should call it quits.
I looked at him and before I could say anything, he moved closer closed the gap between us and put one of his big hands on lap and asked me what I wanted to do. I shrugged my shoulders but put my hands on his lap too my surprise he was already stiff. I started rubbing him over his jeans. He leaned back and let me. I got on my knees, and unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, He kicked off his huge sneakers, and shimmed out of his jeans, He was left with just his boxers on, I pulled those down, and finally saw his dick. It was beautiful they aren't always the most pleasing thing to look at, his was very thick not as thick as the last guy and longer, wow how big are you I asked, he said nine and half. I rubbed my hands up and down his dick. I wasn't sure I was going to fuck him but I definitely wanted to suck him.
His dick was long, he had big balls that hung down. He had prominent vine all up the backside of it. With a big head, it all looked nice with his body and perfectly proportion to his size. I gently cupped his balls then stuck out my tongue and followed the vein all the way up to the tip of his dick. I put it in my mouth and tried to make it a sloppy as possible. He had both his hands on my shoulders and he was gently holding them as I gave him a sloppy blow job. I felt myself getting excited and I was already a little wet from squirming with sexual tension, I got super wet.
I tried to get as much of his dick in my mouth, but pretty soon my gagging kicked in so I backed off, I started stroking in-between sucking the tip and going halfway down then pull it out and licking up that vein again. He pulled my chin up and leaned down and kissed me. He pulled me up so I straddled on his lap and his hard dick, he laid back and pulled me with him. We started furiously making out while I was grinding the crotch of my now soaking wet panties over his hard dick.
After a while he turned me over onto my back, he leaned over on his side, He slowly worked the skirt of dress up. We both were leaning on our elbows looking down there, He ran his hand in between my thighs and pushed them apart. His ran his finger up and down the front of my black lace underwear and said out loud how wet I was. He slid my underwear aside, and kept running his fingers up and down my slit before starting to gently rub my clit. At the time I rarely if ever rubbed my clit, and it felt amazing, I started rotating my hips while pressing up against this fingers, he applied more pressure. He then slide his big long middle finger in me, I was so wet and his while he stretched he slid right in, He stroked me, after every few strokes he brush his thumb over his clit.
I still remember clearly suddenly hearing the train right outside his window passing by and the light buzz from people passing by on the street, suddenly my light breathing seemed loud, I wondered if people could us down there, i put my hands over face and just let go and let my body feel everything. He asked me if he should get a condom I nodded. He pulled off my underwear, and leaned over to his bedside table and pulled out a few condoms and put it on the bed. I closed my legs feeling exposed and asked him to please turn off the lights. He had a dimmer was turning it down asking me if it was okay, I shook my head and told him to turn the lights off. He had no blinds or curtains and lived on a big street, we were five floors up and so the high street lamps up and down the street beamed into the room. It was dark but not pitch black and we could see each other clearly, he came back to the bed and pulled off my shoes I didn't realize I still had on. He surprised me by pulling me by my thighs to the bottom of the bed, without asking he pried my legs apart and put his mouth on my vagina.
I was shocked and tried to pull him up and told him that was okay he didn't need to do that. I closed my legs around his head, and tried to push him off. He told me to relax and please let him he loved eating pussy. I pulled his pillow over my head and let him lick me. I wasn't sure how I felt about it until he curled his tongue around my clit and started sucking it hard. I started breathing hard, he put his fingers back inside me while sucking on my clit and it felt so amazing. He ate me out while fingering me for a while. He finally came up and pulled the pillow off my face he surprised me again by leaning down and kissing me so I tasted myself on his tongue. Instead of grossing me out it turned me on, his mouth tasted faintly of his cigarettes, the mints we both chewed, of the vodka we took shots off and of me it was strangely a nice combination. He pulled off his t-shirt and open a packet and rolled the condom down his big dick. I was excited but also nervous, but I was super wet and felt stretched by his fingers.
I leaned up on my elbows, he pulled me back away from the edge to the middle of the bed. He rubbed the tip of his dick on my clit a few times, while I rolled by hips against him, he hold on to my hip and angled me sideways as we both keep watching he pushed slowly inside me, my pussy barely put a fight before his head popped inside me, he did a shallow thrust and I gasp. It didn't hurt like last time but I felt some weird stabbing type pain it wasn't extreme but I tensed up before we was halfway in, he asked me if it hurt I nodded. He leaned over me and put my legs over his thigh, relax baby, he pulled back a little and leaned over to kiss me while rubbing my clit.
I finally pulled his other shoulder over me. I wrapped my arms around him and focused on kissing him I told him to go ahead, he slowly worked his dick inside me, my pussy throbbed around his big dick. He was thrust in and out of me slow and steady working more of himself into me. I heard myself breathing loudly, it hurt but there was pleasure chasing pain. He is really a gently giant he was careful he fucked me deeply but took some time before he thrusted into me fully and bottom out inside me. He felt so good I loved every minute of it even the discomfort.
He had a lot of stamina built up a steady rhythm while fucked me deeply. When I opened my eyes he was looking right at me staring intensely at me, feel good ? I nodded and put my elbow over my eyes. He fucked me for a long time and I wasn't sure I could take anymore, my pussy was throbbing, and pulsing around him, he told me that felt good and to keep doing it. I wasn't controlling it my pussy just reacted by throbbing, pulsing, and contracting around his dick. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and asked him if he was close. He told me he hadn't had sex in a long time and he had smoked weed earlier and sometimes that made it hard for him to cum so he wasn't close to cumming and didn't even know if he could cum tonight.
I asked for a break. He pulled out of me. He asked if I wanted another shot I shook my head and asked for water. I still had my dress on and pulled the skirt down. He came back I thank him for the water and had a few damp paper towels of in his hand, be pulled my skirt back up and wiped me down. I felt a rush of butterflies in my belly, I know I just had sex with the guy but it felt very intimate. I pulled my skirt down and took a few sips before setting it down on the floor.
I turned on my tummy and put my head on his pillow, he was laying next to me on his side staring at me again. I pulled his pillow back over my head. He laughed at me, we talked a little I can't recall about what as he lay next to me we then fell into a companionable silence listening to the soft rock station and the trains passing by.
We laid there for a little bit. I sipped my water and basically just rested my head. I checked the time. I told him I had to leave in an hour to catch the last train. He reached over and pulled up my skirt. He rubbed my butt. While I laid on my stomach with my head now resting on hands on top of his pillow. He ran his finger down my middle of my butt before reaching between my legs to my pussy rubbing up and down my slit again. I spread my legs wider for him. He surprised me by licking me from behind, this time he licked my asshole down to my pussy, I wasn't sure if that was on purpose, I angled myself up and pushed his head down a little. He continue licking me and put his big fingers in me again. It felt super good.
He reached up and unzipped my dress and pulled it off. He went to take off my bra but I stopped him because I suddenly felt too naked which yes was ridiculous after we just had sex. He asked me why, I had no good response. He shrugged and pulled the cups down and started licking my nipples. He grinded and rubbed his bare dick into me up and down my slit. He finally got another condom on . He tried to get me get on top. I didn't want too and pulled him over me we were in missionary again. He slipped right inside me this time. He fucked me harder then the first round. I felt full stretched and I loved it. He fucked me for a while. After a while he realized he wasn't going to cum and I had to leave to catch the last train. I think I was relieved that I had to rush out of there because it didn't give us time to be awkward again. Before I left he asked for my number. I gave it to him.
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afagehi7
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Another white boy? So this was you losing your virginity?
He probably jerked off before which is why he didn't cum. Young guys do that so they don't cum too fast. It's better to not cum than cum in 2 minutes. At some point we don't have to do that anymore as we have better control and the hormones aren't raging as bad.
Excellent writing. Nice picture
He probably jerked off before which is why he didn't cum. Young guys do that so they don't cum too fast. It's better to not cum than cum in 2 minutes. At some point we don't have to do that anymore as we have better control and the hormones aren't raging as bad.
Excellent writing. Nice picture
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Thank you! He's one too.
He was 29 at the time not super young. We ended up together for a long time, I think for him it's a combination of stamina and weed. His smoking of both cigarettes and weed got on my nerves after while, sometimes I ask him to not smoke until after we had sex. I don't know why or if this happens with other men but he says if he been smoking a lot or too soon before we had sex it take him forever or sometimes he couldn't cum. I didn't mind it I liked having sex for hours so worked in my favor sometimes. I just hated the smell of both. I never got into smoking weed and he's definitely the stoner type and it was somewhat of a turnoff not so much for sex but I guess for life and relationship reasons.
He was 29 at the time not super young. We ended up together for a long time, I think for him it's a combination of stamina and weed. His smoking of both cigarettes and weed got on my nerves after while, sometimes I ask him to not smoke until after we had sex. I don't know why or if this happens with other men but he says if he been smoking a lot or too soon before we had sex it take him forever or sometimes he couldn't cum. I didn't mind it I liked having sex for hours so worked in my favor sometimes. I just hated the smell of both. I never got into smoking weed and he's definitely the stoner type and it was somewhat of a turnoff not so much for sex but I guess for life and relationship reasons.
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
New picture showing me not from this exact time but maybe a year or so later. My ass is the same but I am fat now so I have rolls or muffin top ?? Whatever point is I don't look the same.
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afagehi7
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
@afagehi7 I have more pictures but debating how much more I am going to post. It's very cathartic writing this out. But not going to lie the picture shrinking/editing is a little bit of a pain and not as enjoyable. Thank you for your encouragement! I will try to keep it up.
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
The first sex with Jay was on a Saturday. He texted me and asked me to come over the next day. I said no but we finally agreed to meet on Wednesday night after I went to happy hour. By Tuesday I couldn't take it I wanted to get fucked again. He was more than happy to have me over. I went over there at 9:00pm and we fucked until 1:00am again.
This time when I got there no hesitation, we made out and underdressed each other, he took my bra off right away so I was completely naked(and embarrassed about it ridiculous I know), he also was a bit less gentle and I recalled liked that. He fucked me in doggy, and I am proud to stay I perfect that position and it's my favorite head down low, ass up with my backed arched. He got so deep that way and was bottoming out in me, it hurt and was uncomfortable but I let him pound me like forever. He made me ride him, while still not my favorite position it felt so good. I ended up fucking him every day until Sunday. When I took break not because I wanted too but because I had too because my vagina was puffy, tender, and sore.
People will tell you that secrets are toxic. That they eat you inside. But for me that was far for the truth. I had regaled Giselle with tales of awkward meetings, weird ass emails but the day I sucked my first craigslist dick I kept it to myself.
The day I first spread my legs and got penetrated not by a guy I was dated, knew or trusted but by a stranger I spent less than an hour with on our first meeting. I kept it to my self. It was like when I was kid and got a treat or candy that I saved and hid so I could eat it late at night so I didn't have to share.
I had open Pandora's box and inside me I found an insatiable sex monster. The kind that wanted to fuck nearly every day. I had a Pavlovian response to getting on the train to his apartment. I'd be squirming in my seat soaking wet. One day weeks after starting fucking I had gone to the mall to return something. I got excited just from being on the train. I texted to ask him if he was home yet, he was. I went in the public restroom and took of my underwear, because it was soaked. I got on the train to go to him. I didn't sit on the hour train ride, instead I stood with my legs clutched hoping my wetness didn't get all the way down my legs.
When I got there I didn't bother with greetings, I pulled him into his room and slam the door shut not caring if his roommates heard, I took his big hands and pulled it under my dress. Fuck baby, you're so wet. He stuck his big long fingers in my pussy and started stroking. It was the first time hI ad gone there before dusk/dark. I stood in his room in broad daylight, my legs spread, holding up the edge of my dress, as he stroked my pussy. It felt indecent, I was being shameless.
I got on my knees and pulled his dick out of his pants I licked it and sucked it hard. It took him only a few minutes to get fully hard. He shoved his pants down and got a condom. I never liked being on top but that day I had him sit on the bed, he still had his shirt on and my dress was still on I simply pulled it up and sat on his dick. I didn't try to work it in like we normally did. I just sunk down on dick and kept going until he was all the way inside of me. My pussy objected it throbbed and gripped him tightly as he filled me and stretched me. I pushed his shoulders down on the bed and using his chest for an anchor I rode him hard. He usually took forever to cum that night he came in 30 minutes of me being in the door. After even though it hurt like mother, I had him pound me doggy and told him not to hold back.
That day I had gotten there at five in the afternoon. I left at 5:30am with the first train. We fucked on and off all night. There were a few people on the train when I got on and the door closed and pulled off. I held on the pole on the train as it lurched away and I had to walk gingerly to the closet seat because of my sore battered vagina. It all felt very dirty and slutty but delicious at the same time. He wanted to take me out to dinner or cook for me. I made excuses about being busy. The truth was I didn't want to know anything about him, I enjoyed the aspect of letting this man who was a stranger, who didn't even know my name fuck me incessantly. Is it possible I would have felt the same way if I had lost my v-card with a traditional boyfriend. I will never really know but I don't think so. I didn't care about dating, respect, or anything else. I just wanted him to fuck me all the time.
I loved being a secret slut. It made me happy and people noticed. I swear I was glowing. Coworkers would tell me so, friends said so. One day out of the blue my mom asked me if I had boyfriend. I sputtered and stammered No! Well if you do it's fine we could have him come to dinner on Sunday. Mom! I do not have a boyfriend. At the time we were having very standard vanilla sex. I didn't know James was a freak and very kinky. To me it the sex we were having felt positivity fifthly and I loved it. I had no idea about his dark depraved desires but I find out soon enough.
More later.
This time when I got there no hesitation, we made out and underdressed each other, he took my bra off right away so I was completely naked(and embarrassed about it ridiculous I know), he also was a bit less gentle and I recalled liked that. He fucked me in doggy, and I am proud to stay I perfect that position and it's my favorite head down low, ass up with my backed arched. He got so deep that way and was bottoming out in me, it hurt and was uncomfortable but I let him pound me like forever. He made me ride him, while still not my favorite position it felt so good. I ended up fucking him every day until Sunday. When I took break not because I wanted too but because I had too because my vagina was puffy, tender, and sore.
People will tell you that secrets are toxic. That they eat you inside. But for me that was far for the truth. I had regaled Giselle with tales of awkward meetings, weird ass emails but the day I sucked my first craigslist dick I kept it to myself.
The day I first spread my legs and got penetrated not by a guy I was dated, knew or trusted but by a stranger I spent less than an hour with on our first meeting. I kept it to my self. It was like when I was kid and got a treat or candy that I saved and hid so I could eat it late at night so I didn't have to share.
I had open Pandora's box and inside me I found an insatiable sex monster. The kind that wanted to fuck nearly every day. I had a Pavlovian response to getting on the train to his apartment. I'd be squirming in my seat soaking wet. One day weeks after starting fucking I had gone to the mall to return something. I got excited just from being on the train. I texted to ask him if he was home yet, he was. I went in the public restroom and took of my underwear, because it was soaked. I got on the train to go to him. I didn't sit on the hour train ride, instead I stood with my legs clutched hoping my wetness didn't get all the way down my legs.
When I got there I didn't bother with greetings, I pulled him into his room and slam the door shut not caring if his roommates heard, I took his big hands and pulled it under my dress. Fuck baby, you're so wet. He stuck his big long fingers in my pussy and started stroking. It was the first time hI ad gone there before dusk/dark. I stood in his room in broad daylight, my legs spread, holding up the edge of my dress, as he stroked my pussy. It felt indecent, I was being shameless.
I got on my knees and pulled his dick out of his pants I licked it and sucked it hard. It took him only a few minutes to get fully hard. He shoved his pants down and got a condom. I never liked being on top but that day I had him sit on the bed, he still had his shirt on and my dress was still on I simply pulled it up and sat on his dick. I didn't try to work it in like we normally did. I just sunk down on dick and kept going until he was all the way inside of me. My pussy objected it throbbed and gripped him tightly as he filled me and stretched me. I pushed his shoulders down on the bed and using his chest for an anchor I rode him hard. He usually took forever to cum that night he came in 30 minutes of me being in the door. After even though it hurt like mother, I had him pound me doggy and told him not to hold back.
That day I had gotten there at five in the afternoon. I left at 5:30am with the first train. We fucked on and off all night. There were a few people on the train when I got on and the door closed and pulled off. I held on the pole on the train as it lurched away and I had to walk gingerly to the closet seat because of my sore battered vagina. It all felt very dirty and slutty but delicious at the same time. He wanted to take me out to dinner or cook for me. I made excuses about being busy. The truth was I didn't want to know anything about him, I enjoyed the aspect of letting this man who was a stranger, who didn't even know my name fuck me incessantly. Is it possible I would have felt the same way if I had lost my v-card with a traditional boyfriend. I will never really know but I don't think so. I didn't care about dating, respect, or anything else. I just wanted him to fuck me all the time.
I loved being a secret slut. It made me happy and people noticed. I swear I was glowing. Coworkers would tell me so, friends said so. One day out of the blue my mom asked me if I had boyfriend. I sputtered and stammered No! Well if you do it's fine we could have him come to dinner on Sunday. Mom! I do not have a boyfriend. At the time we were having very standard vanilla sex. I didn't know James was a freak and very kinky. To me it the sex we were having felt positivity fifthly and I loved it. I had no idea about his dark depraved desires but I find out soon enough.
More later.
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afagehi7
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Here is a good utility to resize images. Feel free to PM if you want comments before posting.
Interesting turn of events is coming
https://resizeimage.net
Interesting turn of events is coming
https://resizeimage.net
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Nothing special about this photo it's actually two summers after we met. I am in Vegas here on a trip that would get rowdy. More on that later.
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afagehi7
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Haha thanks but that's an old picture. This time frame I am talking about I used to be chubby when I gained weight and average when I didn't.
I gained a lot of weight after turning 30.
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Jay and I met the second week of July. From then until labor day we had sex almost every single day except on Sundays. That is really nuts when you think about it. I was constantly wet, my vagina was constantly throbbing, and after a while sore and battered. I did start going for three hours or less because sometimes especially after he pounded me in doggy it cause me to spot. While I certainly get off on pain and rough sex I didn't want my vagina to be wrecked for life.
Here is portion of something I wrote about that time previously:
" I was a late bloomer and I remember that about six months after having sex I turned into a monster, My ex was a chef and worked most nights I end up having to with draw from my early afternoon classes because I had a constant throbbing feeling the best way to describe it was like having my heart beat through my vagina. Even though we didn't live together we routinely fucked 6 or 7 days a week. He had a lot of stamina and could pound me for an hour cum, and do it again. It still wasn't enough for me and I sometimes beg him for more until he usual just go down on me was use his fingers to calm me down.
I'm scared of that side of me, of unleashing this monster to go on a rampage and going to dark depraved situations destroying myself in the process. This is why I feel like I am prudish, and why I had sex with only a few partners and why I keep to myself. "
Anyways September came and things started changing. I had to leave my temp office job. I had a few credits left at school so I was back in school. I had to find a new job, which I did by November in retail and it fucking sucked ass. I went from making 14 dollars an hour to make 7.25. When we met Jay was in culinary program and worked daytime hours in the university dining hall. He graduated eventually and got a job so he was now working nights and most weekends. Which had it's benefits with my schedule. It also helped that his roommates were gone during the day.
Anyways back to the the point this made it harder but giving up my new found sex life wasn't an option for me. I ended up playing hooky a lot on my afternoon science class, not my greatest subject to begin with but I ended up withdrawing I was told I wouldn't pass even with an A on the final because of attendance issues. Which meant going back another semester, I was a good student looking back it's insane that I wanted sex so much that I dropped a class and delayed my graduation. Especially because it got me in big trouble with my family given that I had taken a semester off the previous year and hadn't graduated that summer like I was supposed too.
Having sex during broad daylight, felt naughty, it also made me self conscious being naked with no shadows or the dark. I annoyed the fuck out Jay with insisting we do it under the covers but it was fall and we would get too hot, eventually we comprised by me wearing tank tops to feel more comfortable. We loved making out, he loved playing with my pussy, and licking and sucking me sometimes for over an hour, I loved him stretching me, I was discovering that I liked rough sex, that when things hurt or I was in discomfort it turned me on. I loved tittering between pain and pleasure. I was always wet on my way there but sometimes damp and not quite soaking it just depends if we were sexting or not. Some days when I was damp not as wet as I should be I have him force his dick into me or his fingers it hurt but eventually I'd be soaked from the "hurt" he was causing me.
So one night we were having sex and he was jamming his fingers into me very roughly and accidently scratch me on the inside I didn't feel it in the moment so I didn't realize something major had happen until I was laying on top of him and bled all over his face. We both were shocked. I thought maybe my period came early. I was shocked but by the time I got home I know something was wrong because it was painful especially when I peed. The following day it was worse because it really hurt and I figured out I wasn't on my period. TMI but I am going somewhere with this!
I went to the health clinic on campus to get it looked out and it was embarrassing trying to explain what happen. She put some weird instrument down there to get a better look and told me I had deep tear. And worse it could get infected. She told me I had to take antibiotics and "tell my young man to get his nails filed and clipped and to be careful" after she started asking me questions how many partners I had, did I want birth control I assured her we used condoms. She then made sure to tell me about getting STDS from oral sex and anyways a mortifying conversation that felt like a lecture.
The worst part no sex for at least six weeks. No penetration and no fingers down there, I was embarrassed but more concerned about not being able to have sex and asked about oral and touching the outside of my vagina. No oral and no touching because germs/bacteria in the mouth. She was very graphic about how gross my vagina could get if I developed a serious infection. Anyways surprisingly my libido went down because it actually hurt. I texted Jay a little but not really. I was actually a little pissed at how blase he appeared to be about inflicting a deep scratch like that. I later found out he was made about my lack of texting and not wanting to hang out even if we couldn't have sex.
The other thing that happened was that Giselle was moving to Florida. Her boyfriend was originally from there and had only stayed in our area after getting a job offer from a place he interned one summer. The economy still kind of sucked for college grads at the time so he stayed. His dad got cancer and he wanted to go home and asked her to move with him. They planned for Gisele to visit during the holidays to meet his family. He would give notice at his job in January would move to Florida . She would follow after he got a job and would stay in Boston working and saving money in the meantime. Her parents especially her dad did not like that, they thought she didn't know him long enough. I was a support system and we were spending more time together knowing she was leaving soon. I finally admitted what was going on with Jay and she was really happy for me.
So I think I mentioned I have these journals I kept since I was a teenager. I have been flipping through them reading sex stuff while recounting my sexapades. There's some interesting incidents that happens with Giselle one I vaguely recall, another with her boyfriend I remember clearly. and an incident at Target I have no recollection of, I have a very good memory so I was a little surprised to see what I had written. Also there is going to be shall we say a sexual incident with Giselle and her boyfriend in Vegas, but that's a story for another day because I am trying to tell it in chronical order.
Anyways a few months after meeting. We went shopping for bathing suits, trying to cheer ourselves up because it still freaking cold even in the spring. Giselle took me to this small Brazilian shop and I couldn't find anything there as they literally did not have one bottom that was not a thong. I also have pretty big double d boobs and big dark areolas, and these bikini tops barely covered it. I hadn't had a two piece since I was a teenager and wasn't sure I wanted bikini. After we went to mall so I could go to Macys/Old Navy where I could buy individual tops and bottoms because I am big on top with pretty skinny legs and no ass. We ended up across from each other with me in the family stall.
When Giselle was done she crossed over and came to sit on my bench. I am prude by nature but of course have changed in front of my girlfriends numerous times. Anyways I would turn my back towards her and put on the suit then turn around to show her. I decided on a one piece and Gisele tried to talk to me into a bikini, I had picked the top of what she called a mommy-kini and it bright blue she insisted it looked good against my skin. It had underwire and there was no chance of me flashing people, and it had good support and I finally agree to buy it. I take it off and turned half way around with my hands covering my nipples and asked her to hand me my bra on the bench next to where she had been sitting. Instead of throwing it towards me or leaning forward and handing it off She steps forward and ask me to feel my boobs. I asked her if she was serious and she nodded, and said she always wanted to feel big boobs. She ended up cupping my boobs squeezing them, I noted that felt uncomfortable after a minute and pulled her hands away playfully called her perv and told her to give me my bra. When we left the dressing rooms I wrote that I was so embarrassed because there was mom with her two little kids who must have overhead us because she was glaring at us as we left.
Anyways I didn't see Jay for two months. I can't have sex because I am on antibiotics and my vagina was throbbing for all the wrong reasons. I went to Jay's once in early December to watch a movie when he said he missed me and could we just hangout. We of course a had a make out session, a blow job him, and he grinded himself into me, I got too worked out and decided it was a bad idea to go back over there until I got cleared to have sex.
I went away to visit family. The week after I get back I went to the clinic and got permission to do it! I tell him to get a freaking manicure, and I even brought a nail file to file and buffed his nails to make sure nothing was sharp. It was random day I think Tuesday or Wednesday. I didn't have work or school so it was my first time to chill in a while. When I got there I of course attacked him like a wild banshee kissing him while trying to pull his clothes off. He stopped me. He pulled my coat off, and had me sit on the bed, he pulled me boots off slowly one by one. I tried to help him but he pushed my hands away. I had on opaque tights with socks over them to keep my feet warm in my boots. He very slowly took off my socks, then started slowly peeling them down my legs. I realized then it was deliberate and he wasn't not letting me set the pace that day.
I shifted myself up so he could get my tights down, when they were mid thigh he rolled up the top of my dress up, he tugged my underwear up, until my pussy was outlined clearly and kissed my clit through underwear. It was like he ignited a fire inside me. I wanted to him to fuck me right then and there. I tried to shove my panties down, he swatted by hands away and continued his leisure stripping of my clothes. The tension was building, and I was writhing on the bed. he slowly unwound my scarf from around my neck, then he pulled my dress off. I was squirming and asked him to put on a condom. He ignored me. He took off my bra and I was left in panties for once I didn't complain. It was winter so it would be dark soon. But it was early afternoon, not a sunny day but bright enough that we didn't need any lights in the room.
There I was squirming in nothing but my underwear, when I noticed he still had all his clothes on, that somehow heighten everything. He leaned on the bed over me, and smooshed my breast together. He started rubbing the sides, my under boob, over my nipples but wouldn't touch my nipples, he then left my breast and ran his hands down the sides of my stomach, the top of my chest, down my legs. I pulled his hands and tried to get him to touch my nipples or pussy but he still wouldn't let me. By the time he took mercy on me I was squirming on the bed panting like I was running a race or something. I swear it felt different then any other time he had touch me, it felt electric, he kept going so freaking slow, just rubbing my nipples lightly between his forefinger and his thumb.
Slow torturous light touches until he moved on to the next one, he leaned down and kissed me before moving down to suck on my nipples. I scooched myself down to try to press my soaking wet pussy against his thigh, he put his hands under my shoulders and pulled me up the bed, away from his thigh. He finally finally peeled my panties off, I was so wet I had creamed them. He loved that, he fingers wandered slowly on outer edges of my pussy lips, before he trailed them slowly up my slit, to my clit, I started moving my hips in sync with this fingers, he slowly sank one finger and it went right in, he put his second one, and started stroking while I rolled my hips.
He laid down on the bed next to me, his big fingers going in out of my pussy slowly, I turned towards him, and wrapped my arms around him and we started kissing, slowly, sensually, our tongues merging, and mixing. You like that baby? Yes it feels so good don't stop. Eventually he slowly worked his ring finger in me. I was beyond wet but it stretched me, remember Jay is 6'6, he has big hands and very long fingers. He also was twisting his fingers as they came in and out of me. The pressure was intense, I am a pretty quiet person during sex, more of a breather than a moaner. I started hearing small little moans and grunts, and he asked me if I thought I was going to cum, I had never had an orgasm and had not clue but told him it felt so good and please don't stop. He eventually lay me flat on my back while he sucked on my boobs, and kept stroking, he told me to rub my clit.
I didn't come and I told him we could put on a condom on as it had been a while and I was sure he was tired. But he said he wasn't tired. He had me lay flat on my back, and he leaned on his side while keeping his fingers inside me, I put his pillow over my face, and rolled my hips while he stroked before I felt my orgasm building I turned around on stomach, even though I was face down I put the pillow over my head, I held my face in my hands. He sat up behind me and put his fingers back inside me, in that position I pushed my hips up and down and it caused my clit to drag against his sheets, I tensed up as I felt my orgasm building and I finally was able to cum. I went limp and lay boneless on the bed, did you cum. Yes. Sorry I took so long. Not counting the foreplay I think he had his fingers in me for at least 45 minutes. He took his clothes off, put on an condom, and fucked me while I lay like a limp ragged doll. We eventually turned into missionary which by the is way my favorite position after doggy it doesn't get it's due I think. He I wrapped my log legs around him and held on to his but pushing him as he thrust into me. He fucked me slowly and deliberately teasing us both until he he finally picked up the pace and start fucking me extra hard until he came.
Imagine having an experience like that in the middle of the afternoon, and trying to get up get dress go out into cold snowy weather and act like a normal functioning human being. Well that's what I had to do because I had promise to help Giselle and her boyfriend. I fell asleep and woke up when she called to find out where the fuck I was and why I didn't text her back. I had napped for over an hour. It was now pitch black outside. Jay tried to get me to stay but I tore myself away from his warm bed, washed my face, and tried to re apply light makeup. I ended up having rush to catch the train to try to make it to for a bus I needed to pick us up dinner before walking the last few blocks to their house. I put the stocking in my purse and put my socks on and figured it was fine because my boots were knee high and ran outside to catch the train.
I stopped to pick burgers and fries on the way. Giselle's boyfriends and his roommate had decided to split the cost of breaking the lease in march, his roommate moved in with friends who had a vacancy. Her boyfriend paid the rent for the last three months so Giselle could move in to help with packing and shipping both of their things to Florida together in one truck. I had been over the two previous days, because I am a type a monster and I helped them by organizing the friends who were over, making pathways through the apartment, and helping them sort and label in addition to making piles and decided what to trash, donate, sell(on craigslist of course
) and keep.
That night was one of two of not sex but sexually charged experiences that would happen with Giselle and her boyfriend.
More later. Ps: The new avatar is a picture of me that Christmas/New Years out of town visiting family.
ps: afagehi7 I will be moving on to my boyfriend and guy number 3. I have more naughty type pictures from those exact times I think you will enjoy more than my boring clothed ones
Here is portion of something I wrote about that time previously:
" I was a late bloomer and I remember that about six months after having sex I turned into a monster, My ex was a chef and worked most nights I end up having to with draw from my early afternoon classes because I had a constant throbbing feeling the best way to describe it was like having my heart beat through my vagina. Even though we didn't live together we routinely fucked 6 or 7 days a week. He had a lot of stamina and could pound me for an hour cum, and do it again. It still wasn't enough for me and I sometimes beg him for more until he usual just go down on me was use his fingers to calm me down.
I'm scared of that side of me, of unleashing this monster to go on a rampage and going to dark depraved situations destroying myself in the process. This is why I feel like I am prudish, and why I had sex with only a few partners and why I keep to myself. "
Anyways September came and things started changing. I had to leave my temp office job. I had a few credits left at school so I was back in school. I had to find a new job, which I did by November in retail and it fucking sucked ass. I went from making 14 dollars an hour to make 7.25. When we met Jay was in culinary program and worked daytime hours in the university dining hall. He graduated eventually and got a job so he was now working nights and most weekends. Which had it's benefits with my schedule. It also helped that his roommates were gone during the day.
Anyways back to the the point this made it harder but giving up my new found sex life wasn't an option for me. I ended up playing hooky a lot on my afternoon science class, not my greatest subject to begin with but I ended up withdrawing I was told I wouldn't pass even with an A on the final because of attendance issues. Which meant going back another semester, I was a good student looking back it's insane that I wanted sex so much that I dropped a class and delayed my graduation. Especially because it got me in big trouble with my family given that I had taken a semester off the previous year and hadn't graduated that summer like I was supposed too.
Having sex during broad daylight, felt naughty, it also made me self conscious being naked with no shadows or the dark. I annoyed the fuck out Jay with insisting we do it under the covers but it was fall and we would get too hot, eventually we comprised by me wearing tank tops to feel more comfortable. We loved making out, he loved playing with my pussy, and licking and sucking me sometimes for over an hour, I loved him stretching me, I was discovering that I liked rough sex, that when things hurt or I was in discomfort it turned me on. I loved tittering between pain and pleasure. I was always wet on my way there but sometimes damp and not quite soaking it just depends if we were sexting or not. Some days when I was damp not as wet as I should be I have him force his dick into me or his fingers it hurt but eventually I'd be soaked from the "hurt" he was causing me.
So one night we were having sex and he was jamming his fingers into me very roughly and accidently scratch me on the inside I didn't feel it in the moment so I didn't realize something major had happen until I was laying on top of him and bled all over his face. We both were shocked. I thought maybe my period came early. I was shocked but by the time I got home I know something was wrong because it was painful especially when I peed. The following day it was worse because it really hurt and I figured out I wasn't on my period. TMI but I am going somewhere with this!
I went to the health clinic on campus to get it looked out and it was embarrassing trying to explain what happen. She put some weird instrument down there to get a better look and told me I had deep tear. And worse it could get infected. She told me I had to take antibiotics and "tell my young man to get his nails filed and clipped and to be careful" after she started asking me questions how many partners I had, did I want birth control I assured her we used condoms. She then made sure to tell me about getting STDS from oral sex and anyways a mortifying conversation that felt like a lecture.
The worst part no sex for at least six weeks. No penetration and no fingers down there, I was embarrassed but more concerned about not being able to have sex and asked about oral and touching the outside of my vagina. No oral and no touching because germs/bacteria in the mouth. She was very graphic about how gross my vagina could get if I developed a serious infection. Anyways surprisingly my libido went down because it actually hurt. I texted Jay a little but not really. I was actually a little pissed at how blase he appeared to be about inflicting a deep scratch like that. I later found out he was made about my lack of texting and not wanting to hang out even if we couldn't have sex.
The other thing that happened was that Giselle was moving to Florida. Her boyfriend was originally from there and had only stayed in our area after getting a job offer from a place he interned one summer. The economy still kind of sucked for college grads at the time so he stayed. His dad got cancer and he wanted to go home and asked her to move with him. They planned for Gisele to visit during the holidays to meet his family. He would give notice at his job in January would move to Florida . She would follow after he got a job and would stay in Boston working and saving money in the meantime. Her parents especially her dad did not like that, they thought she didn't know him long enough. I was a support system and we were spending more time together knowing she was leaving soon. I finally admitted what was going on with Jay and she was really happy for me.
So I think I mentioned I have these journals I kept since I was a teenager. I have been flipping through them reading sex stuff while recounting my sexapades. There's some interesting incidents that happens with Giselle one I vaguely recall, another with her boyfriend I remember clearly. and an incident at Target I have no recollection of, I have a very good memory so I was a little surprised to see what I had written. Also there is going to be shall we say a sexual incident with Giselle and her boyfriend in Vegas, but that's a story for another day because I am trying to tell it in chronical order.
Anyways a few months after meeting. We went shopping for bathing suits, trying to cheer ourselves up because it still freaking cold even in the spring. Giselle took me to this small Brazilian shop and I couldn't find anything there as they literally did not have one bottom that was not a thong. I also have pretty big double d boobs and big dark areolas, and these bikini tops barely covered it. I hadn't had a two piece since I was a teenager and wasn't sure I wanted bikini. After we went to mall so I could go to Macys/Old Navy where I could buy individual tops and bottoms because I am big on top with pretty skinny legs and no ass. We ended up across from each other with me in the family stall.
When Giselle was done she crossed over and came to sit on my bench. I am prude by nature but of course have changed in front of my girlfriends numerous times. Anyways I would turn my back towards her and put on the suit then turn around to show her. I decided on a one piece and Gisele tried to talk to me into a bikini, I had picked the top of what she called a mommy-kini and it bright blue she insisted it looked good against my skin. It had underwire and there was no chance of me flashing people, and it had good support and I finally agree to buy it. I take it off and turned half way around with my hands covering my nipples and asked her to hand me my bra on the bench next to where she had been sitting. Instead of throwing it towards me or leaning forward and handing it off She steps forward and ask me to feel my boobs. I asked her if she was serious and she nodded, and said she always wanted to feel big boobs. She ended up cupping my boobs squeezing them, I noted that felt uncomfortable after a minute and pulled her hands away playfully called her perv and told her to give me my bra. When we left the dressing rooms I wrote that I was so embarrassed because there was mom with her two little kids who must have overhead us because she was glaring at us as we left.
Anyways I didn't see Jay for two months. I can't have sex because I am on antibiotics and my vagina was throbbing for all the wrong reasons. I went to Jay's once in early December to watch a movie when he said he missed me and could we just hangout. We of course a had a make out session, a blow job him, and he grinded himself into me, I got too worked out and decided it was a bad idea to go back over there until I got cleared to have sex.
I went away to visit family. The week after I get back I went to the clinic and got permission to do it! I tell him to get a freaking manicure, and I even brought a nail file to file and buffed his nails to make sure nothing was sharp. It was random day I think Tuesday or Wednesday. I didn't have work or school so it was my first time to chill in a while. When I got there I of course attacked him like a wild banshee kissing him while trying to pull his clothes off. He stopped me. He pulled my coat off, and had me sit on the bed, he pulled me boots off slowly one by one. I tried to help him but he pushed my hands away. I had on opaque tights with socks over them to keep my feet warm in my boots. He very slowly took off my socks, then started slowly peeling them down my legs. I realized then it was deliberate and he wasn't not letting me set the pace that day.
I shifted myself up so he could get my tights down, when they were mid thigh he rolled up the top of my dress up, he tugged my underwear up, until my pussy was outlined clearly and kissed my clit through underwear. It was like he ignited a fire inside me. I wanted to him to fuck me right then and there. I tried to shove my panties down, he swatted by hands away and continued his leisure stripping of my clothes. The tension was building, and I was writhing on the bed. he slowly unwound my scarf from around my neck, then he pulled my dress off. I was squirming and asked him to put on a condom. He ignored me. He took off my bra and I was left in panties for once I didn't complain. It was winter so it would be dark soon. But it was early afternoon, not a sunny day but bright enough that we didn't need any lights in the room.
There I was squirming in nothing but my underwear, when I noticed he still had all his clothes on, that somehow heighten everything. He leaned on the bed over me, and smooshed my breast together. He started rubbing the sides, my under boob, over my nipples but wouldn't touch my nipples, he then left my breast and ran his hands down the sides of my stomach, the top of my chest, down my legs. I pulled his hands and tried to get him to touch my nipples or pussy but he still wouldn't let me. By the time he took mercy on me I was squirming on the bed panting like I was running a race or something. I swear it felt different then any other time he had touch me, it felt electric, he kept going so freaking slow, just rubbing my nipples lightly between his forefinger and his thumb.
Slow torturous light touches until he moved on to the next one, he leaned down and kissed me before moving down to suck on my nipples. I scooched myself down to try to press my soaking wet pussy against his thigh, he put his hands under my shoulders and pulled me up the bed, away from his thigh. He finally finally peeled my panties off, I was so wet I had creamed them. He loved that, he fingers wandered slowly on outer edges of my pussy lips, before he trailed them slowly up my slit, to my clit, I started moving my hips in sync with this fingers, he slowly sank one finger and it went right in, he put his second one, and started stroking while I rolled my hips.
He laid down on the bed next to me, his big fingers going in out of my pussy slowly, I turned towards him, and wrapped my arms around him and we started kissing, slowly, sensually, our tongues merging, and mixing. You like that baby? Yes it feels so good don't stop. Eventually he slowly worked his ring finger in me. I was beyond wet but it stretched me, remember Jay is 6'6, he has big hands and very long fingers. He also was twisting his fingers as they came in and out of me. The pressure was intense, I am a pretty quiet person during sex, more of a breather than a moaner. I started hearing small little moans and grunts, and he asked me if I thought I was going to cum, I had never had an orgasm and had not clue but told him it felt so good and please don't stop. He eventually lay me flat on my back while he sucked on my boobs, and kept stroking, he told me to rub my clit.
I didn't come and I told him we could put on a condom on as it had been a while and I was sure he was tired. But he said he wasn't tired. He had me lay flat on my back, and he leaned on his side while keeping his fingers inside me, I put his pillow over my face, and rolled my hips while he stroked before I felt my orgasm building I turned around on stomach, even though I was face down I put the pillow over my head, I held my face in my hands. He sat up behind me and put his fingers back inside me, in that position I pushed my hips up and down and it caused my clit to drag against his sheets, I tensed up as I felt my orgasm building and I finally was able to cum. I went limp and lay boneless on the bed, did you cum. Yes. Sorry I took so long. Not counting the foreplay I think he had his fingers in me for at least 45 minutes. He took his clothes off, put on an condom, and fucked me while I lay like a limp ragged doll. We eventually turned into missionary which by the is way my favorite position after doggy it doesn't get it's due I think. He I wrapped my log legs around him and held on to his but pushing him as he thrust into me. He fucked me slowly and deliberately teasing us both until he he finally picked up the pace and start fucking me extra hard until he came.
Imagine having an experience like that in the middle of the afternoon, and trying to get up get dress go out into cold snowy weather and act like a normal functioning human being. Well that's what I had to do because I had promise to help Giselle and her boyfriend. I fell asleep and woke up when she called to find out where the fuck I was and why I didn't text her back. I had napped for over an hour. It was now pitch black outside. Jay tried to get me to stay but I tore myself away from his warm bed, washed my face, and tried to re apply light makeup. I ended up having rush to catch the train to try to make it to for a bus I needed to pick us up dinner before walking the last few blocks to their house. I put the stocking in my purse and put my socks on and figured it was fine because my boots were knee high and ran outside to catch the train.
I stopped to pick burgers and fries on the way. Giselle's boyfriends and his roommate had decided to split the cost of breaking the lease in march, his roommate moved in with friends who had a vacancy. Her boyfriend paid the rent for the last three months so Giselle could move in to help with packing and shipping both of their things to Florida together in one truck. I had been over the two previous days, because I am a type a monster and I helped them by organizing the friends who were over, making pathways through the apartment, and helping them sort and label in addition to making piles and decided what to trash, donate, sell(on craigslist of course
) and keep. That night was one of two of not sex but sexually charged experiences that would happen with Giselle and her boyfriend.
More later. Ps: The new avatar is a picture of me that Christmas/New Years out of town visiting family.
ps: afagehi7 I will be moving on to my boyfriend and guy number 3. I have more naughty type pictures from those exact times I think you will enjoy more than my boring clothed ones
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afagehi7
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
I'm enjoying all of your pictures and stories. Can't wait to hear what is next
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
I bored myself. Whoops.
I recently got rid of some of the notebooks because honestly it's scandalous and I can't believe it so careless left it for anyone to find at my parents house. I am bored myself with along with everyone else but ended up writing out about a few of them and I guess it's cathartic to write even if it's for myself and of course afafehi7 haha.
.
Anyways lets revisit Giselle situations. That night I went over after we ate she as per usual was being provocative. At some point, I had taken off my boots. It was winter but my panties were soaked and stockings ruined from sex earlier with J, so I was bare legged. In the kitchen while we cleaning after dinner she brought up how strange it was that had no stockings she was teasing me while giving me the 3rd degree trying to get me to admit that I had just been fucked. Eventually it ended with her chasing me around her apartment tugging at my dress asked me if I got fucked, me denying it, and . I meanwhile was dodging her, while Telling her boyfriend to come get his freak of a girlfriend away from me. He laughed and told me he fully supported any type of vagina inspection she wanted to do. At that point some level of comfort had been reached between the three of us. He realized Giselle was far more discrete with other friends and was okay with our shenanigan's and oversharing and teasing. I was still a little shy to talk in too much detail in front of him, but we def talked about my sex in graphic detail while we worked with him looming in the background. After it was late so I stayed over. I ended up in his shorts and tshirt because Giselle's shorts and tank top were too small for me.
We were on the couch drinking wine. I drifted off to sleep and woke up with the room dimly lit and the tv on the background. I shifted when I realized they were in loveseat and she was sucking him off. I made a little shocked sound, she looked over and grinned at me, then looked up at him babe, and nodded at me. He looked over little surprised, sorry. It's your place but get a room you pervs. He's so close though. I shrugged and went to the bathroom, and stopped for water. When she was still giving him head. she looked at me you want to help? Are you kidding? No, but I will watch since yoou guys want to be pervs.
Eventually she was vigorously sucking and stroking while telling him to come for us. Eventually he was looking straight at me making eye contact. threw a couch cushion at him and told me to stop staring. He exploded in her mouth and she of coursed swallowed it all. I remarked that he was lucky cause I never do. Giselle was shimmying out of skirt it was too much for me so I told them I go in their room. I left the door open a crack but fell asleep. They came in didn't fuck again and no one touched me or initiated anything. The next morning we finished packing and went to brunch like nothing happened.
I have a good memory and it came back to me but I forgot some of these details and was a little surprised too see a few entries.
Giselle moved we talked but not frequently. At some point we were chatting or something while I was with J, I had him take pictures of me sucking his dick and sent it to them. He was very excited and wouldn't shut up it. He was relentless with wanting a mfm threesome and being slutty and he ruined it for me so I never did anything like that.
Another time that I vaguely recalled after reading about and again was surprised to find in my notebook, was that I skyped with them, video chatting sucked so bad, but I watched the have sex. It was hot and I masturbated after. I saw her a few times and visited them in Miami too but nothing happed until a group trip to Vegas during a holiday weekend.
I was supposed to stay in a room with her cousin and another mutual fried. The cousin cancelled and the mutual friend ended up bringing her new boyfriend. We had more friends coming on Thursday for weekend so I decided to pay for the first nights. So I show up Giselle excited to me and meets me at check in and of course charms the front desk guy to put me in a prime location two doors down from her room. We get ready together and popping in and out of each other's rooms. More later.
sorry for typos
I recently got rid of some of the notebooks because honestly it's scandalous and I can't believe it so careless left it for anyone to find at my parents house. I am bored myself with along with everyone else but ended up writing out about a few of them and I guess it's cathartic to write even if it's for myself and of course afafehi7 haha.
.
Anyways lets revisit Giselle situations. That night I went over after we ate she as per usual was being provocative. At some point, I had taken off my boots. It was winter but my panties were soaked and stockings ruined from sex earlier with J, so I was bare legged. In the kitchen while we cleaning after dinner she brought up how strange it was that had no stockings she was teasing me while giving me the 3rd degree trying to get me to admit that I had just been fucked. Eventually it ended with her chasing me around her apartment tugging at my dress asked me if I got fucked, me denying it, and . I meanwhile was dodging her, while Telling her boyfriend to come get his freak of a girlfriend away from me. He laughed and told me he fully supported any type of vagina inspection she wanted to do. At that point some level of comfort had been reached between the three of us. He realized Giselle was far more discrete with other friends and was okay with our shenanigan's and oversharing and teasing. I was still a little shy to talk in too much detail in front of him, but we def talked about my sex in graphic detail while we worked with him looming in the background. After it was late so I stayed over. I ended up in his shorts and tshirt because Giselle's shorts and tank top were too small for me.
We were on the couch drinking wine. I drifted off to sleep and woke up with the room dimly lit and the tv on the background. I shifted when I realized they were in loveseat and she was sucking him off. I made a little shocked sound, she looked over and grinned at me, then looked up at him babe, and nodded at me. He looked over little surprised, sorry. It's your place but get a room you pervs. He's so close though. I shrugged and went to the bathroom, and stopped for water. When she was still giving him head. she looked at me you want to help? Are you kidding? No, but I will watch since yoou guys want to be pervs.
Eventually she was vigorously sucking and stroking while telling him to come for us. Eventually he was looking straight at me making eye contact. threw a couch cushion at him and told me to stop staring. He exploded in her mouth and she of coursed swallowed it all. I remarked that he was lucky cause I never do. Giselle was shimmying out of skirt it was too much for me so I told them I go in their room. I left the door open a crack but fell asleep. They came in didn't fuck again and no one touched me or initiated anything. The next morning we finished packing and went to brunch like nothing happened.
I have a good memory and it came back to me but I forgot some of these details and was a little surprised too see a few entries.
Giselle moved we talked but not frequently. At some point we were chatting or something while I was with J, I had him take pictures of me sucking his dick and sent it to them. He was very excited and wouldn't shut up it. He was relentless with wanting a mfm threesome and being slutty and he ruined it for me so I never did anything like that.
Another time that I vaguely recalled after reading about and again was surprised to find in my notebook, was that I skyped with them, video chatting sucked so bad, but I watched the have sex. It was hot and I masturbated after. I saw her a few times and visited them in Miami too but nothing happed until a group trip to Vegas during a holiday weekend.
I was supposed to stay in a room with her cousin and another mutual fried. The cousin cancelled and the mutual friend ended up bringing her new boyfriend. We had more friends coming on Thursday for weekend so I decided to pay for the first nights. So I show up Giselle excited to me and meets me at check in and of course charms the front desk guy to put me in a prime location two doors down from her room. We get ready together and popping in and out of each other's rooms. More later.
sorry for typos
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afagehi7
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Did you get turned on watching her suck and swallow him?
Did you want to join in but were afraid to do it?
Did you want to join in but were afraid to do it?
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
In November after being celibate for years, I finally had sex. I fucked two guys in the same night about 90 mintues apart.
During the second fuck of the night, I found myself floating disconnected from my body. He was was talking about how slutty and wet my pussy was and and asking questions I stop answering about the first fuck of the night. I went to his house and he gave me cash for ubers there and back I just heard his voice and felt like I was floating, he slapped my one of my breast and snapped me back. I faked an orgasm after with his magic wand and left.
I went home and the next day when I woke up hung over and felt like I got hit by truck, maybe it was combination of things but fell in a deep depression after thatAfter the holidays I finally felt a little better fucked guy 1 several times but he's an asshole.
This weekend guy one he texted me accused me of being bitter and wanting to be relationship with him. Mind you he initiated contact with me multiple times, including incessant phone calls. Instead I told him how inconsiderate and rude he had been flaking and how delusional he was to think i wanted to be in a relationship with him.
Mind you this is the guy who complains about me living literally minutes after he pulls his dick out of me, the irony is we ended the conversation with him literally begging me for sex. We texted via whatsapp he tried to use a picture of my rather unimpressive saggy dds to convince me to come over. I immediately blocked him on whatapp.
He sent me a normal text and I refused to go and told him I didn't want to fuck him and to stop texting me. He begged for one more time. His sex was boring me anyways even though he a decently dick that is feels good.
I want to have sex but dealing with men is exhausting. Like you literally can't handle being friends with benefits, this guy is flaky unreliable, then when I point it out let me know you don't want a relationship with me, while also complaining about me leaving, not wanting to cuddle. It's bizarre.
Guy number two that got fuck me second has been or I thought my friends for years, he couldn't quite keep it up so maybe he's embarrassed but basically hasn't talked to me since. I don't give a fuck about the first guy but am a little put off by losing my friend. Maybe because he's embarrassed to show that side of himself to me, and his inability to keep an erection.
Anyways going to therapy and trying to climb up out of the black emotional hole I been in. Just had to confess it to someone even if it's myself.
Also not impressed compared to others but that puts halfway to doubling me number of partners. Had 3 full one and one just foreplay sex partners before this. Maybe everyone is not cut out to engage in fun/mindless/slutty behavior or I wonder if other women feel like this after sexual exploits. Anyways.
During the second fuck of the night, I found myself floating disconnected from my body. He was was talking about how slutty and wet my pussy was and and asking questions I stop answering about the first fuck of the night. I went to his house and he gave me cash for ubers there and back I just heard his voice and felt like I was floating, he slapped my one of my breast and snapped me back. I faked an orgasm after with his magic wand and left.
I went home and the next day when I woke up hung over and felt like I got hit by truck, maybe it was combination of things but fell in a deep depression after thatAfter the holidays I finally felt a little better fucked guy 1 several times but he's an asshole.
This weekend guy one he texted me accused me of being bitter and wanting to be relationship with him. Mind you he initiated contact with me multiple times, including incessant phone calls. Instead I told him how inconsiderate and rude he had been flaking and how delusional he was to think i wanted to be in a relationship with him.
Mind you this is the guy who complains about me living literally minutes after he pulls his dick out of me, the irony is we ended the conversation with him literally begging me for sex. We texted via whatsapp he tried to use a picture of my rather unimpressive saggy dds to convince me to come over. I immediately blocked him on whatapp.
He sent me a normal text and I refused to go and told him I didn't want to fuck him and to stop texting me. He begged for one more time. His sex was boring me anyways even though he a decently dick that is feels good.
I want to have sex but dealing with men is exhausting. Like you literally can't handle being friends with benefits, this guy is flaky unreliable, then when I point it out let me know you don't want a relationship with me, while also complaining about me leaving, not wanting to cuddle. It's bizarre.
Guy number two that got fuck me second has been or I thought my friends for years, he couldn't quite keep it up so maybe he's embarrassed but basically hasn't talked to me since. I don't give a fuck about the first guy but am a little put off by losing my friend. Maybe because he's embarrassed to show that side of himself to me, and his inability to keep an erection.
Anyways going to therapy and trying to climb up out of the black emotional hole I been in. Just had to confess it to someone even if it's myself.
Also not impressed compared to others but that puts halfway to doubling me number of partners. Had 3 full one and one just foreplay sex partners before this. Maybe everyone is not cut out to engage in fun/mindless/slutty behavior or I wonder if other women feel like this after sexual exploits. Anyways.
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afagehi7
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Your friend who couldn't keep it up is mortified and embarrassed. As a man, this is a huge blow to our manhood especially at his age. This is likely why he's avoiding you. He feels like you don't see him as a man. Dunno if it's an option but a redemption fuck could set things right? Or just go for coffee and don't talk about it? Pretend it never happened? Tell him you don't want to lose his friendship?Laney26 wrote: ↑Tue Feb 22, 2022 1:36 pmIn November after being celibate for years, I finally had sex. I fucked two guys in the same night about 90 mintues apart.
During the second fuck of the night, I found myself floating disconnected from my body. He was was talking about how slutty and wet my pussy was and and asking questions I stop answering about the first fuck of the night. I went to his house and he gave me cash for ubers there and back I just heard his voice and felt like I was floating, he slapped my one of my breast and snapped me back. I faked an orgasm after with his magic wand and left.
I went home and the next day when I woke up hung over and felt like I got hit by truck, maybe it was combination of things but fell in a deep depression after thatAfter the holidays I finally felt a little better fucked guy 1 several times but he's an asshole.
This weekend guy one he texted me accused me of being bitter and wanting to be relationship with him. Mind you he initiated contact with me multiple times, including incessant phone calls. Instead I told him how inconsiderate and rude he had been flaking and how delusional he was to think i wanted to be in a relationship with him.
Mind you this is the guy who complains about me living literally minutes after he pulls his dick out of me, the irony is we ended the conversation with him literally begging me for sex. We texted via whatsapp he tried to use a picture of my rather unimpressive saggy dds to convince me to come over. I immediately blocked him on whatapp.
He sent me a normal text and I refused to go and told him I didn't want to fuck him and to stop texting me. He begged for one more time. His sex was boring me anyways even though he a decently dick that is feels good.
I want to have sex but dealing with men is exhausting. Like you literally can't handle being friends with benefits, this guy is flaky unreliable, then when I point it out let me know you don't want a relationship with me, while also complaining about me leaving, not wanting to cuddle. It's bizarre.
Guy number two that got fuck me second has been or I thought my friends for years, he couldn't quite keep it up so maybe he's embarrassed but basically hasn't talked to me since. I don't give a fuck about the first guy but am a little put off by losing my friend. Maybe because he's embarrassed to show that side of himself to me, and his inability to keep an erection.
Anyways going to therapy and trying to climb up out of the black emotional hole I been in. Just had to confess it to someone even if it's myself.
Also not impressed compared to others but that puts halfway to doubling me number of partners. Had 3 full one and one just foreplay sex partners before this. Maybe everyone is not cut out to engage in fun/mindless/slutty behavior or I wonder if other women feel like this after sexual exploits. Anyways.
Just some thoughts coming from a guy. The redemption fuck would be my choice
Re: Confessions of a Wannabe
Maybe he is, but I texted right after that same night. I don't like his behavior and won't be reaching out again. He's like 20ish years older than me and should have been more mature.
He is a Daddy dom type so I was surprised he was so insistent on having that type of encounter. Anyways it's fine.
He is a Daddy dom type so I was surprised he was so insistent on having that type of encounter. Anyways it's fine.