Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Farmgirl]

A question from the wife for the most experience hotwife.
She had her first experience last weekend. She said the day after she had a good feeling. That good feelings only lasted a day or two. After that, she just felt normal again.
Her question is it is normal for that good feeling subside after a day or two?
Thank

She's probably still processing it all. How you react and how you treat her will have a big effect on how she feels. For someone new to this, there can be a little guilt and worry. Reassure her that she is special to you and that you feel loved by what she did. My Number1 always says he feels more loved when I enjoy myself and fuck other men.

[mamipapi79]

A question from the wife for the most experience hotwife.
She had her first experience last weekend. She said the day after she had a good feeling. That good feelings only lasted a day or two. After that, she just felt normal again.
Her question is it is normal for that good feeling subside after a day or two?
Thank

She's probably still processing it all. How you react and how you treat her will have a big effect on how she feels. For someone new to this, there can be a little guilt and worry. Reassure her that she is special to you and that you feel loved by what she did. My Number1 always says he feels more loved when I enjoy myself and fuck other men.

Thank you, I have been reassuring her. Her feelings as she told me is like a man that would sleep with woman and does not have an emotional connection with them. I would love to connect her with a more experience Spanish speaking Hotwife because emotionally we men are very different than women when it comes o emotions and attachment. as for the experience itself, we are looking for many more.

[Scrambled]

I confessed my fantasy to my wife 15 years ago. I was reluctant to tell her, and she encouraged me to say. When I told her, she said she didn't think she could have sex with another guy in front of me, but she had an exboyfriend who was pretty laid back. She could probably explain the fantasy to him and he's be cool with a blowjob. OK... so she started out very open minded. (She has a curious side, and she's very sexual.) She looked him up, and he's married.
As time progressed, she regressed, and she became more convicted by religion-- Christianity. And, that's been her thing... she can't because she answers to a higher source.
She understands my fantasy, and now that she's 50, she's willing to move forward some (a small step), but religion still holds her back.
My question to you is... Are any of you Christian, and have you been able to reconcile hotwifing with your religious beliefs?

[2inUPMichigan]

Welcome to OHW Scrambled

It took me awhile to work it out in my head but for me it clicked like this ....I am faithful in my heart to my husband as I have been since the day we met.
The only difference now is that I am free to share my body with other men. I do not share my heart or my life (those are reserved for hubby).

[Farmgirl]

I confessed my fantasy to my wife 15 years ago. I was reluctant to tell her, and she encouraged me to say. When I told her, she said she didn't think she could have sex with another guy in front of me, but she had an exboyfriend who was pretty laid back. She could probably explain the fantasy to him and he's be cool with a blowjob. OK... so she started out very open minded. (She has a curious side, and she's very sexual.) She looked him up, and he's married.
As time progressed, she regressed, and she became more convicted by religion-- Christianity. And, that's been her thing... she can't because she answers to a higher source.
She understands my fantasy, and now that she's 50, she's willing to move forward some (a small step), but religion still holds her back.
My question to you is... Are any of you Christian, and have you been able to reconcile hotwifing with your religious beliefs?

Through study, I found to my satisfaction that there was really nothing needing to be reconciled between my beliefs and my hotwifing. I am active in our church and serve as church secretary. My husband teaches adult Sunday school.

[felixNZ]

Hi,
I am new here, and I have told my partner that I am on this site (as well as others) and gave her my passwords so she can check them out herself.
Since we met (2015) I have been very open with her about my Hotwife fantasies, and while she was initially a little shocked, she showed interest. We have been building a relationship, with the ups and downs of us both having children, so our explorations have been constantly interrupted.
She loves dressing sexily and often surprises me with how daring she can be, she loves going dancing which she says makes her feel sexy nd hot, and she likes to hear about my texts with other men about her. They can be very explicit and direct.
However ... we are at the point where she says she that while she is keeping an open mind about it, she doesn't want to have sex with another man. She says it doesn't turn her on ... despite talk of it making her very aroused, and hornier than ever.
Shall I accept that she doesn't want to do it, and stop trying?
If not, is there anything I can do to encourage her to explore further?
I'd appreciate any help on this ..
A

[2inUPMichigan]

Welcome to OHW felixNZ

Her initial reaction was the same as mine (shocked).

From reading your post I get the impression that she is accepting your fantasy and may even play into it with you. That does not however necessarily translate into her wanting to take that big step into the reality of becoming an official hotwife.

Hot bedroom role play is not the same thing as living this out in real life and she may enjoy that (because it is with you).
She isn't saying the hot bedroom play doesn't turn her on, she is telling you the idea of doing this for real (with other men) doesn't turn her on.

Making the decision to become a hotwife is not simply a matter of deciding if she wants to have sex with someone else. There is a whole lot more that goes into it.

[felixNZ]

Thank you 2inUPmichigan, I have read your story and wish you a sexy experience with your journey.
I love the openness here, and the freedom to talk about this.
My partner is open to talking about my kink, and it does bring up issues. For example she gets aroused when I take her dancing or when she wears a see through top in public, but when she thinks about the reality of actually fucking another man, she shuts down and puts up walls.
It’s quite a journey, hope we can work through this because we both grow in the process.

[felixNZ]

Men seem to drive this kink, it seems like it is rarely the wife that initiates it.
My partner has a naughty side, she has always liked being flirty with men, and doing provocative things to get attention such as dressing very sexily, to kissing another woman to get a reaction from a group of men. She likes me encouraging this, and taking her dancing with me watching from the side. She likes getting a response from me, from turning me on.
But ... she says that she does not want to fuck another man. It seems disrespectful to persevere, but I feel that she is actually very close to exploring, and that her naughtiness and my kink are well suited. From what I have heard, it seems that this is typically a kink that is pushed by the male partner, rarely by the female partner. That if the man didn't persevere, it would rarely happen.
So ... I am at the stage where I am feeling a bit frustrated with the situation. Do I back off for a while? Then try again? Patience ...

[Farmgirl]

Men seem to drive this kink, it seems like it is rarely the wife that initiates it.
My partner has a naughty side, she has always liked being flirty with men, and doing provocative things to get attention such as dressing very sexily, to kissing another woman to get a reaction from a group of men. She likes me encouraging this, and taking her dancing with me watching from the side. She likes getting a response from me, from turning me on.
But ... she says that she does not want to fuck another man. It seems disrespectful to persevere, but I feel that she is actually very close to exploring, and that her naughtiness and my kink are well suited. From what I have heard, it seems that this is typically a kink that is pushed by the male partner, rarely by the female partner. That if the man didn't persevere, it would rarely happen.
So ... I am at the stage where I am feeling a bit frustrated with the situation. Do I back off for a while? Then try again? Patience ...

Only you know your wife, and how she is responding to your desire. So far I see nothing to back off about, but then, don't annoy her about it. She seems to like the bedroom play so use that, enjoy it, and she might come around when the right man comes around.
Rather than telling her how much you like it or want it, explain to her how much it can improve your marriage. Do your homework, and be ready for her questions with honest answers.
She will need to feel comfortable about the whole thing, especially with how you might react to the reality. Time, building trust and intimacy.

[felixNZ]

wow thank you for some really simple and clear insights, I love it!
I will take a look at other writings of yours with interest.
I have built a new home, and I have said a few times, "I love working with people who know what they are talking about". I feel the same here Farmgirl, reading your response!
I am going to do what you suggest even more than I am now, the kink after all is about our relationship. And to me it is normal (it is only a kink because we need to be discreet about it) and I only have it with her, the woman I love.
I told her this morning I like how she is much more confident, and sexually charged, and how it is bringing us closer. Our relationship is much ore intimate as a result, and improving because we are talking about the hard stuff that so many couples avoid.
Luckily we both really like that intimacy, and that it brings us closer. Pretty much the opposite of what ignorant people might thing.
It is helpful to have encouragement from you, because at (rare) times I feel that I am wrong to try and encourage her to do something that most people will judge as being wrong.
There is so much conditioning around sex, it is challenging to explore our sexuality. And it is in the exploration, the doing, that we learn and grow as human beings.
I love it!

[Oldtowncpl]

Hi all - Mrs and I discovered swinging in our early 20s and played in many combinations for most of the next 10 years. As is often the case, we gravitated away from couples and toward single men because they’re so much easier, and we both got off on it.


So here’s where it gets interesting. In our younger years, we were simply different people. I was young and eager to take charge, arrange meetings, etc and my wife was less willing/comfortable voicing her real needs and wants. Swinging and mfm made me happy, and she liked it enough to indulge me, basically.

Now, in our 40s, she is mature, confident, successful, and still smoking hot. She’s dominant but struggles with how to assert herself in bed - partially due to some sexual trauma at the hands of another guy when we were in high school. I am naturally dominant as well, but would gladly give her all the power if she would take it. Neither of us is into cuck/humiliation play, but I definitely love seeing her with other men and enjoying her afterward.

We’ve been together so long that we’ve long since learned how to please each other and she enjoys multiple orgasms each time we have sex (multiple times per week). She has never had similar satisfaction with any other guys. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever had an orgasm with anyone but me.

After a 10+ year break from any play outside the marriage (simply due to life, kids, etc), we finally jumped back in after several months of consideration with a new guy last night. He’s local, super nice, good looking, experienced in the hotwife/cuck/lifestyle, and fun to hang out with. And he loves bareback and cream pies, which is a plus for both her and I.

After meeting him for a drink last week, he and the Mrs had sex last night while I watched. It was as hot as I remember, and the creampie he left in her was enjoyed by me briefly immediately after and then again upon our return home later.

My hope is that hotwifing (on her terms this time) will give her the freedom to take what she wants when she wants it. But after last night, it’s clear that most single guys are far more comfortable playing the “bull/stud” role, which just hasn’t ever resonated with her. She’s simply not a submissive and isn’t interested in me being one either - which is fine with me.

So now that I’ve rambled on for far too long, my question for the hotwives is - do any of the rest of you struggle with this aspect of the “roles” that are most common for hotwives and bulls? Are there ways to let her explore the dominant side of her sexuality without going into bdsm (which she says doesn’t really appeal to her)?

Thanks for reading all of this! Looking forward to any replies and discussion.

[2inUPMichigan]

Hi all - Mrs and I discovered swinging in our early 20s and played in many combinations for most of the next 10 years. As is often the case, we gravitated away from couples and toward single men because they’re so much easier, and we both got off on it.


So here’s where it gets interesting. In our younger years, we were simply different people. I was young and eager to take charge, arrange meetings, etc and my wife was less willing/comfortable voicing her real needs and wants. Swinging and mfm made me happy, and she liked it enough to indulge me, basically.

Now, in our 40s, she is mature, confident, successful, and still smoking hot. She’s dominant but struggles with how to assert herself in bed - partially due to some sexual trauma at the hands of another guy when we were in high school. I am naturally dominant as well, but would gladly give her all the power if she would take it. Neither of us is into cuck/humiliation play, but I definitely love seeing her with other men and enjoying her afterward.

We’ve been together so long that we’ve long since learned how to please each other and she enjoys multiple orgasms each time we have sex (multiple times per week). She has never had similar satisfaction with any other guys. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever had an orgasm with anyone but me.

After a 10+ year break from any play outside the marriage (simply due to life, kids, etc), we finally jumped back in after several months of consideration with a new guy last night. He’s local, super nice, good looking, experienced in the hotwife/cuck/lifestyle, and fun to hang out with. And he loves bareback and cream pies, which is a plus for both her and I.

After meeting him for a drink last week, he and the Mrs had sex last night while I watched. It was as hot as I remember, and the creampie he left in her was enjoyed by me briefly immediately after and then again upon our return home later.

My hope is that hotwifing (on her terms this time) will give her the freedom to take what she wants when she wants it. But after last night, it’s clear that most single guys are far more comfortable playing the “bull/stud” role, which just hasn’t ever resonated with her. She’s simply not a submissive and isn’t interested in me being one either - which is fine with me.

So now that I’ve rambled on for far too long, my question for the hotwives is - do any of the rest of you struggle with this aspect of the “roles” that are most common for hotwives and bulls? Are there ways to let her explore the dominant side of her sexuality without going into bdsm (which she says doesn’t really appeal to her)?

Thanks for reading all of this! Looking forward to any replies and discussion.

Welcome to OHW Oldtowncpl


Screening is so very important and cannot be stressed enough.
The questions you ask are just as important if not more important than the sexual chemistry.

Sure she wants to be attracted to him but finding out if his style of play will be a match to hers is very important.

I often ask an open ended question such as:
"Describe your ideal play date."
Or "What is a typical play date with you like?"

Let him explain before she goes into detail about what she is looking for that way you don't have a man just telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

I personally do not play with men that describe themselves as bulls. Never once have I found one to be a match with what I am looking for.

BDSM is a huge umbrella with a wide variety of kinks under it. It's like a buffet where you pick what you like and leave the rest for someone else

Is she interested in being with a dominant partner? Or a man that would be submissive to her? Does she prefer an equal who is open to her leading on occasion?

She ultimately is the one that gets to define who she is sexually, and that's pretty cool!

Figure out exactly what she wants sexually.
Develop the questions that give you the answers you need to determine if a potential candidate is a good match for what she is looking for sexually.
Have lots of fun!!

[Farmgirl]

Hi all - Mrs and I discovered swinging in our early 20s and played in many combinations for most of the next 10 years. As is often the case, we gravitated away from couples and toward single men because they’re so much easier, and we both got off on it.


So here’s where it gets interesting. In our younger years, we were simply different people. I was young and eager to take charge, arrange meetings, etc and my wife was less willing/comfortable voicing her real needs and wants. Swinging and mfm made me happy, and she liked it enough to indulge me, basically.

Now, in our 40s, she is mature, confident, successful, and still smoking hot. She’s dominant but struggles with how to assert herself in bed - partially due to some sexual trauma at the hands of another guy when we were in high school. I am naturally dominant as well, but would gladly give her all the power if she would take it. Neither of us is into cuck/humiliation play, but I definitely love seeing her with other men and enjoying her afterward.

We’ve been together so long that we’ve long since learned how to please each other and she enjoys multiple orgasms each time we have sex (multiple times per week). She has never had similar satisfaction with any other guys. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever had an orgasm with anyone but me.

After a 10+ year break from any play outside the marriage (simply due to life, kids, etc), we finally jumped back in after several months of consideration with a new guy last night. He’s local, super nice, good looking, experienced in the hotwife/cuck/lifestyle, and fun to hang out with. And he loves bareback and cream pies, which is a plus for both her and I.

After meeting him for a drink last week, he and the Mrs had sex last night while I watched. It was as hot as I remember, and the creampie he left in her was enjoyed by me briefly immediately after and then again upon our return home later.

My hope is that hotwifing (on her terms this time) will give her the freedom to take what she wants when she wants it. But after last night, it’s clear that most single guys are far more comfortable playing the “bull/stud” role, which just hasn’t ever resonated with her. She’s simply not a submissive and isn’t interested in me being one either - which is fine with me.



So now that I’ve rambled on for far too long, my question for the hotwives is - do any of the rest of you struggle with this aspect of the “roles” that are most common for hotwives and bulls? Are there ways to let her explore the dominant side of her sexuality without going into bdsm (which she says doesn’t really appeal to her)?

Thanks for reading all of this! Looking forward to any replies and discussion.

Like 2inUP said, She gets to decide what she wants and wants to be.
If she wants a guy to defer to her, that's her prerogative. I'm confident, self-assured, and dominant in attitude. I know what I like and don't have trouble saying so. Your wife should do the same, whichever she wants.
Sex is so much better when each listens to what the other likes.
BTW, I don't do BDSM, and have not had trouble with the roles you speak of. I have found men to like a confident woman, or I find another man.

[Oldtowncpl]

Thank you both for the thoughtful replies! This is very helpful!

[unfasten_her_slacks]

Could I ask a question, please? Do many hot-wives enjoy just dates, rather than full-on sex? My wife, Joyce, loves going on romantic dates with Tom and they don't always culminate in bed. Holding hands, talking and spending time together are equally as important to her in building a relationship.

[stormtrooper123]

how can i find a hotwife?

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum stormtrooper123.

[Farmgirl]

how can i find a hotwife?

How are you trying?

[felixNZ]

how can i find a hotwife?

Hi, I'm from New Zealand. I looked on and off for a potential Hotwife for about 10 years. It tried being open and honest about what I was seeking on vanilla dating sites as well as kink-friendly sites, and I also tried being open about my values without mentioning sex. At the end of the day, I was seeking a RELATIONSHIP, not a kink. We have chemistry with who we have chemistry with, regardless of specific kinks.
Eventually I found that the best approach for me, was to focus on "vanilla" dating sites, making my intentions clear that I was seeking a relationship, while also indicating that I am open minded. I started revealing my kink to the women I dated early on (in the first few weeks, so that I didn't spring any surprises later on). What surprised me, was how accepting women were about me revealing myself to them, while also learning to be selective who I revealed it to. Very vanilla women wouldn't date me anyway though, because I indicated that I am open minded in my ads.
So, I recommend you decide whether or not you actually want a relationship, and focus on the day-to-day things that appeal to you in a partner, your values etc, and any kink is a delicious side-effect of that. I found several women who were willing to explore with me, but it still came down to whether or not we had chemistry, shared values etc.
I have now been in a relationship for about 5 years (with some time apart), and she loves me sharing naked photos of her with a couple male friends of mine and online, she loves me taking her out wearing a sexy, revealing dress, and she is on the cusp of fucking other men - at her own pace. I'm a dominant cuckold and she is quite submissive, but I'm trying to be respectful that she is much newer to this, and is getting her head around it.
It seems to be a fairly long drawn out process for most couples, so look for a woman you want to be with, and take a risk and be intimate with her about your thoughts and feelings, and hopefully she will reciprocate. You will be surprised - I have had so many women share their deepest, dirtiest fantasies with me, that they have never told anyone, and my partner even now reveals things she did years ago, that she never told anyone. She tells me now because of our intimacy and trust.
I took her out to dinner last night for her birthday. She wore and very sexy, see through dress which left little to the imagination, and while she turned 53 she is still very sexy and hot, and turns the heads of younger men. After dinner I took her to a smart bar. I went to the bathroom and there was a bit of a queue, so it took about 10 minutes before I returned. The last tie we went there, there was a young man chatting her up on my return. This time, there were a couple of men sitting behind her, in their 30's, and before I could say anything to her on my return, she said excitedly to me, with a sparkle in her eyes, "darling there's a man behind me that I would definitely fuck!".
It's a wonderful but complex journey, enjoy it

[Farmgirl]

how can i find a hotwife?

Hi, I'm from New Zealand. I looked on and off for a potential Hotwife for about 10 years. It tried being open and honest about what I was seeking on vanilla dating sites as well as kink-friendly sites, and I also tried being open about my values without mentioning sex. At the end of the day, I was seeking a RELATIONSHIP, not a kink. We have chemistry with who we have chemistry with, regardless of specific kinks.
Eventually I found that the best approach for me, was to focus on "vanilla" dating sites, making my intentions clear that I was seeking a relationship, while also indicating that I am open minded. I started revealing my kink to the women I dated early on (in the first few weeks, so that I didn't spring any surprises later on). What surprised me, was how accepting women were about me revealing myself to them, while also learning to be selective who I revealed it to. Very vanilla women wouldn't date me anyway though, because I indicated that I am open minded in my ads.
So, I recommend you decide whether or not you actually want a relationship, and focus on the day-to-day things that appeal to you in a partner, your values etc, and any kink is a delicious side-effect of that. I found several women who were willing to explore with me, but it still came down to whether or not we had chemistry, shared values etc.
I have now been in a relationship for about 5 years (with some time apart), and she loves me sharing naked photos of her with a couple male friends of mine and online, she loves me taking her out wearing a sexy, revealing dress, and she is on the cusp of fucking other men - at her own pace. I'm a dominant cuckold and she is quite submissive, but I'm trying to be respectful that she is much newer to this, and is getting her head around it.
It seems to be a fairly long drawn out process for most couples, so look for a woman you want to be with, and take a risk and be intimate with her about your thoughts and feelings, and hopefully she will reciprocate. You will be surprised - I have had so many women share their deepest, dirtiest fantasies with me, that they have never told anyone, and my partner even now reveals things she did years ago, that she never told anyone. She tells me now because of our intimacy and trust.
I took her out to dinner last night for her birthday. She wore and very sexy, see through dress which left little to the imagination, and while she turned 53 she is still very sexy and hot, and turns the heads of younger men. After dinner I took her to a smart bar. I went to the bathroom and there was a bit of a queue, so it took about 10 minutes before I returned. The last tie we went there, there was a young man chatting her up on my return. This time, there were a couple of men sitting behind her, in their 30's, and before I could say anything to her on my return, she said excitedly to me, with a sparkle in her eyes, "darling there's a man behind me that I would definitely fuck!".
It's a wonderful but complex journey, enjoy it

felix,
Unless you're a Verified hotwife, VHW, you can't answer questions on this thread. The title itself says, " to be answered by VHWs only ".

[felixNZ]

I’m new here, my apologies. I understand

[belvedere]

Hi dear hotwives!

I will appreciate the time devoted to this quote, if possible.

I understand that there is no need for strict rules in sex. In this sense, the husband can ask or guide the wife to explore more "restricted" areas (at least usually) of the man, like the back. Eventually it can start with fingering him and leading to pegging in more advanced moment.

How do you feel when the husband makes you put your finger on him during sex, that is, to act in a more 'active' way?

Do you see your husband differently when he wants that kind of thing?

Is this husband's behavior, when it occurs, a natural incentive for the wife to be more open to flirting with other men?

Thank you very much.

[Farmgirl]

Hi dear hotwives!

I will appreciate the time devoted to this quote, if possible.

I understand that there is no need for strict rules in sex. In this sense, the husband can ask or guide the wife to explore more "restricted" areas (at least usually) of the man, like the back. Eventually it can start with fingering him and leading to pegging in more advanced moment.

How do you feel when the husband makes you put your finger on him during sex, that is, to act in a more 'active' way?

Do you see your husband differently when he wants that kind of thing?

Is this husband's behavior, when it occurs, a natural incentive for the wife to be more open to flirting with other men?

Thank you very much.

Anal play is just another piece of a well-rounded sex life for a couple.

[punk_8081]

Hi there, my name is Arthur

I ask for the support of the ladies of this forum, to answer a question

My wife and I decided to break the rules and began to experiment
her sexuality as a hotwife, of course with my consent.
But for what reason may she be jealous that the possibility exists
that I also experience my sexuality with other women, I am very attracted to the wives of
others mens,is that my wife share her husband (that is, me) with other hotwifes?


What is the first thing that comes to mind?

1.- Is she an insecure person (can there be an insecure hotwife?).

2.- Selfishness

3.- fear of comparisons


She tells me that she can't stand the idea that I'm with another woman, I propose that
Let's find a couple like us and let's go little by little.

but she always answers with no.

thanks for your answers