Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

I think that you need to consider that you may have some self-destructive tendencies. We all do, nothing to be ashamed of. It might be worth consideration and reflection.

Yes. Aware of these and always appreciative when reminded.

[slenderfish]

It would seem recently as if some contributors are trying to write the story of your relationship with your wife, as if it were a work of fiction, some write as if you and SW are both not communicating: The way I see it you have given your wife a free run, and what you look for in return is to be kept informed of those meetup she has. you try different ways to facilitate her, but are mostly kept in the dark: When she looks for advice, you provide it in a creative way. Until she realises you are working to her advantage, things may not progress as you would like, there has been one or two chinks of light, and then you are back to square one.

Let's all remember that my observations are shaded and boosted by my desire, as are the observations from all who provide comments.

If I see something that could indicate hotwife activity, my hopes swell and I'm off to the races. Suddenly everything leads to the conclusion she is out fucking guys, etc. And I'm feeding that loop.

But let's all remember she is "insouciant" as a reference base. She doesn't see herself as sexy or provocative. She has no "game" for picking up guys or driving sex. She tried it out once or twice and, from my seat, was very successful. Yet she looks back on these with mixed emotions, instead of the memory getting better over time, they seem to be going the other way right now.

- She regrets pushing Mr. M on the phone sex and even more that she seduced him, now thinks it was not fair

- Her now-concluded sexual connections with Mr. S which I'll dissect in a separate posting

She really does want to make this work for us, and will continue as a hotwife. We will build upon what we've learned.

[BallSpanking]

Not sure what all the gloom and doom is about. Sounds to me like you are still together and fine, and HW'ing remains an option ...
I would not complain.

[veub]

I don't understand why you would assume that she is being truthful about not hooking up on her trip. Maybe she just doesn't want to share with you - that's been her feeling from the beginning of this. If nothing else your behavior (nagging?) might simply be annoying her.

[slenderfish]

Not sure what all the gloom and doom is about. Sounds to me like you are still together and fine, and HW'ing remains an option ...
I would not complain.

I didn't realize my tone was coming off as gloom and doom. Was trying to accomplish the feeling of a train slowing into the station for a break. Not sure if short or long break before slowly starting up for the next adventure.

Yes, still together and fine. More than fine.

No complaints here!

[slenderfish]

I don't understand why you would assume that she is being truthful about not hooking up on her trip. Maybe she just doesn't want to share with you - that's been her feeling from the beginning of this. If nothing else your behavior (nagging?) might simply be annoying her.

Well, of course time will tell all, one way or another.

But I have to remind myself that she is not nearly as sexually focused as I am. Her basic premise is that she never wants to be seen as the aggressor, and her default attitude is to go out of her way to avoid being provocative or sexy, lest she attract attention from men.

I've been hoping that her relaxation with hotwifing will allow this to relax and change, and it has to a small degree. But she still is the same person as before, and tends to avoid sexual stuff because she is uncomfortable in it.

I postulate it's because she got a bit too much uninvited male attention while she was too young to deal with it. So she developed this defensive posture, which became her normal posture.

The point here is that I sometimes put my assumptions on actions and evidences, e.g. "if it were me" and of course when I had a clear runway (no committed relationship) I was a serious fuck-around guy. If I were in Pinky's shoes, I'd be fucking everyone.

But she doesn't roll like that. Gotta keep reminding myself.

[slenderfish]

Been reading the latest of Des31 and Gigi. Blown away.

As for SW and me, today she did a make-up with Mr. G (her trainer) because he was out of town on Friday and cancelled on her. I had an idea that she had something going with Mr. G a few weeks ago, but the bigger set of indications are that this was more a desire from my side versus reality.

I noted yesterday that it seems we are back to just the two of us, for now. We are taking advantage of it and kind of letting it all sink in.

We had a date night set up for Friday night but I ran late with Mr. E and we had to defer the date over to Saturday night. We decided to stay in, just hanging with each other and making dinner. We pre-gamed our date night with dessert as the early course; a nice session of lovemaking in the afternoon.

Sunday had a relaxed start and I waited for her to get up after sleeping in until 10:30 a.m. We walked the dog in the cool morning and did cappuccinos at the local place. After returning home, we went to our separate activities.

I became the abominable snowman after spending three hours in the bathroom sanding the joint compound flat to prepare for the base coat of paint. This room is also the test for my converting our rounded nose drywall corners throughout, to 90-degree corners. Seems to be working out, but it's quite a bit of effort. Probably get better and faster as I repeat in other rooms.

During my cleanup, niece and her friend prepared charcuterie and cheese boards to pair with red wine for dinner. We enjoyed each others' company and then the younger generation went to bed. SW and I stayed up and opened yet another bottle of wine. I went upstairs to bed around 11:30 to be ready for a busy day today while she remained behind, finishing a television show.

SW rousted me at about 1:00 and was in a super mood, all relaxed, happy drunk, and ready to roll! Roll in the hay.

We were slow, fast, top, bottom, side; mouths on mouths, mouths on genitals, and everything in between, including recording a video segment. Probably finally called it a night around 3:30 a.m. after she offered up her tight little ass to me (yes, the back door), in lieu of her not ever getting around to giving it to Mr. S. (his loss, my gain). She was good with it in her favorite missionary position, legs up high.

Wow. Been years since we both had that kind of energy, desire and stamina.

Before falling asleep, I thanked her for the interest and promised her that I will always readily trade sleep for that kind of dreamy lovemaking.

[Freemans892]

That’s what all Hotwife Husbands want, a spicy sex life with your wife.

[anonymister1948]

Been reading the latest of Des31 and Gigi. Blown away.

As for SW and me, today she did a make-up with Mr. G (her trainer) because he was out of town on Friday and cancelled on her. I had an idea that she had something going with Mr. G a few weeks ago, but the bigger set of indications are that this was more a desire from my side versus reality.

I noted yesterday that it seems we are back to just the two of us, for now. We are taking advantage of it and kind of letting it all sink in.

We had a date night set up for Friday night but I ran late with Mr. E and we had to defer the date over to Saturday night. We decided to stay in, just hanging with each other and making dinner. We pre-gamed our date night with dessert as the early course; a nice session of lovemaking in the afternoon.

Sunday had a relaxed start and I waited for her to get up after sleeping in until 10:30 a.m. We walked the dog in the cool morning and did cappuccinos at the local place. After returning home, we went to our separate activities.

I became the abominable snowman after spending three hours in the bathroom sanding the joint compound flat to prepare for the base coat of paint. This room is also the test for my converting our rounded nose drywall corners throughout, to 90-degree corners. Seems to be working out, but it's quite a bit of effort. Probably get better and faster as I repeat in other rooms.

During my cleanup, niece and her friend prepared charcuterie and cheese boards to pair with red wine for dinner. We enjoyed each others' company and then the younger generation went to bed. SW and I stayed up and opened yet another bottle of wine. I went upstairs to bed around 11:30 to be ready for a busy day today while she remained behind, finishing a television show.

SW rousted me at about 1:00 and was in a super mood, all relaxed, happy drunk, and ready to roll! Roll in the hay.

We were slow, fast, top, bottom, side; mouths on mouths, mouths on genitals, and everything in between, including recording a video segment. Probably finally called it a night around 3:30 a.m. after she offered up her tight little ass to me (yes, the back door), in lieu of her not ever getting around to giving it to Mr. S. (his loss, my gain). She was good with it in her favorite missionary position, legs up high.

Wow. Been years since we both had that kind of energy, desire and stamina.

Before falling asleep, I thanked her for the interest and promised her that I will always readily trade sleep for that kind of dreamy lovemaking.

This is really beautiful! So glad you are doing well.

[tojanman]

Hotwife got is fun and all but these kinds of moments are also really important for reaffirming your own relationship.

[CutieAndTheFreak]

Finally catched up with that thread...wow that was a fantastic ride!

Thanks for sharing your story. Its an inspiration and guide for husbands (boyfriends) like me...!

[slenderfish]

"she never wants to be seen as the aggressor, and her default attitude is to go out of her way to avoid being provocative or sexy, lest she attract attention from men."
This statement is blatantly wrong. if you go to the hottie section and look at her pictures almost all of her pictures are sexy dresses, midriff showing, tight pants, tight leather pants, deep v-neck and two piece bathing suits.. All of them screaming, look at me (men and women) I'm gorgeous. I'm calling BS.
[/quote]

She dresses to compete and impress other women. The images on this site were selected by me and of course are the ones that appear sexy. She does like attention, generally, (obvi), but is unprepared and uncertain when any one man approaches her.

It is what it is.

This is changing and of late she has (on my encouragement) started wearing plunge dresses and shorter skirts. She also resisted for many years shaving "down there" and wore grandma panties. Luckily, that has changed as she realized it was more of a fashion thing to wear thong-types and to shave, versus a sexy or slutty thing.

[R_H_NC]

SW, for what it's worth I kind of agree that there a dichotomy between the woman you describe Pinky to be and what we see in her pics. The sheer dress when she pole danced on the signpost is a one good example. This is the dress and actions of a woman who, rightfully BTW, knows she is attractive and wishes to 'flaunt' it a bit. That is in no way a derogatory comment. It is simply what I perceive to be the ways things are. Your explanation of her unpreparedness and uncertainty when any one man approaches her seems a bit more credible. Since Pinky now has her own account perhaps she could get verified and post her own feelings on this. Just a suggestion.

[afagehi7]

I don't find her shyness (or whatever you want to call it) odd. She knows she is hot but doesn't understand how men perceive her. If she ever figures it out she'll either be on fire or hate men

[Parsifal]

The split persona is not odd at all. My wife has had to work through a lot of that and it takes time and hard work to lay the psychic bridges to integrate the self.

But dressing sexy to impress other women instead of men is a different tack than my wife's. That suggests bicuriosity, which is susceptible to other doors opening....

[2inUPMichigan]

As a woman I can tell you there are a lot of women that do not dress for themselves and do not dress for men, but instead dress for either the acceptance of women or to communicate a message to them.

It is the unfortunate truth that some women when in a group get very judgmental. If you don't fit a specific pattern of behavior or appearance then you are on the outside. If being "inside" of that group is important to you then you conform to what is expected.

Personally, I dress for me and how it makes me feel when I put something on. That will translate into how others view me when I am feeling good about the way I look. That does not mean if I am feeling good about the way I am looking that I am inviting someone to hit on me however. Random men that approach me and hit on me are not a turn on.

[anonymister1948]

"she never wants to be seen as the aggressor, and her default attitude is to go out of her way to avoid being provocative or sexy, lest she attract attention from men."
This statement is blatantly wrong. if you go to the hottie section and look at her pictures almost all of her pictures are sexy dresses, midriff showing, tight pants, tight leather pants, deep v-neck and two piece bathing suits.. All of them screaming, look at me (men and women) I'm gorgeous. I'm calling BS.

She dresses to compete and impress other women. The images on this site were selected by me and of course are the ones that appear sexy. She does like attention, generally, (obvi), but is unprepared and uncertain when any one man approaches her.

It is what it is.

This is changing and of late she has (on my encouragement) started wearing plunge dresses and shorter skirts. She also resisted for many years shaving "down there" and wore grandma panties. Luckily, that has changed as she realized it was more of a fashion thing to wear thong-types and to shave, versus a sexy or slutty thing.
[/quote]

This flies in the face of her night with Mr. B. She danced for him, shook her ass at him, and went to bed with him. That's not shy OR reserved. She was wearing a short skirt and pole danced. It's not reserved and she certainly didn't do it for the other women at the party, all of whom had already gone home.

I think the problem you're having is that something clearly happened that night which is substantiated by her refusal to even be at a party or dinner when Mr. B would be there. She has demonstrated a few times that she is avoided Mr. B. I think SW fucked Mr. S and Mr. M as a smokescreen to cover for her infidelity. Also the night you walked in on her while she was having phone-sex with Mr. M sure doesn't sound reserved or chaste.

In the face of the evidence you've shared here, it appears you have a hotwife AND a cheating wife. I don't know what your future holds, but without a proper confession from SW, you're in for long-term denial, obfuscation, and outright lies.

[BallSpanking]

PS-
The gloom and doom I had referred to was not coming from you, no worries.

[slenderfish]

I don't understand why you would assume that she is being truthful about not hooking up on her trip. Maybe she just doesn't want to share with you - that's been her feeling from the beginning of this. If nothing else your behavior (nagging?) might simply be annoying her.

While this is certainly possible, in looking back at her trip, her comings and goings, and her demeanor, it just somehow resonates with me that she wasn't doing anything.

She was more than a little let down about it all. Seems Mr. S is just not that into her and has moved on to his new girlfriend.

Mr. M was in a state. Just received his divorce order from the court and not happy.

More about these two in a posting I'll start, perhaps yet tonight. This extra stuff does inform my conclusion as noted above.

[slenderfish]

More contradictions that continue to grow. Get her verified get her on here. you'll have a hot wife that will be the best person she can
to be.. At that point she'll be teaching you about it. The other hot wives will present it to her in a way that makes sense to her.

I mentioned to her that I do spend time on this board and reasserted that she might find it to be very eye-opening and educational in her effort to understand what it means to be a hotwife.

Perhaps she will check it out sometime.

[slenderfish]

As a woman I can tell you there are a lot of women that do not dress for themselves and do not dress for men, but instead dress for either the acceptance of women or to communicate a message to them.

It is the unfortunate truth that some women when in a group get very judgmental. If you don't fit a specific pattern of behavior or appearance then you are on the outside. If being "inside" of that group is important to you then you conform to what is expected.

Personally, I dress for me and how it makes me feel when I put something on. That will translate into how others view me when I am feeling good about the way I look. That does not mean if I am feeling good about the way I am looking that I am inviting someone to hit on me however. Random men that approach me and hit on me are not a turn on.

What you wrote above is probably more aligned with SW's approach. She does for herself, has developed over the past several years a unique personal style, and has over the past year or so become more relaxed in wearing more revealing (but always tasteful) outfits. Also to position herself within her girls' group as the one who knows how to assemble an outfit. She is sought out for her fashion advice by friends. They end up getting items lent to them and as often as not, SW tells them to keep the item(s).

I bought some inexpensive latex-type slutty wear not too long ago and she quietly accepted it, put it away, and I never saw it again.

[slenderfish]

SW, for what it's worth I kind of agree that there a dichotomy between the woman you describe Pinky to be and what we see in her pics. The sheer dress when she pole danced on the signpost is a one good example. This is the dress and actions of a woman who, rightfully BTW, knows she is attractive and wishes to 'flaunt' it a bit. That is in no way a derogatory comment. It is simply what I perceive to be the ways things are. Your explanation of her unpreparedness and uncertainty when any one man approaches her seems a bit more credible. Since Pinky now has her own account perhaps she could get verified and post her own feelings on this. Just a suggestion.

Would love her to post. She hates to write. We've had mini-fights over her incessant requests that I write emails for her.

But she can certainly browse the postings.

I'll note that there is certainly a vixen that can come out of SW. When she is ready, in the mood, generally after some glasses of red wine, etc. This has really been a phenomenon over the past few years, but accelerated beginning last June.

Seems she may be gearing up for a big night on Saturday, at Mr. E's St. Patrick's day party.

[slenderfish]

Okay, here's the scuttlebutt on the guys she didn't hook up with on her last trip.

Mr. S.

He apparently has a new girlfriend. Remember, he's "picky" (in his own words). I think SW didn't really hook him, that she expected him to do all the work and the chasing. He is used to getting the women, having them pursue him. So we had a bit of an ongoing standoff.

I never thought he was a good match for her. That is, I was quite surprised when she selected him. He is tall and handsome but comes from another culture. He grew up in an Arab country in the norther part of the continent of Africa, and is a practicing Muslim. She went for looks but overlooked that the culture and background will always be in the picture. So Arabic is his first language, French his second language, and he attended university her in the U.S., in the Midwest and settled in that area. I try to think of myself as multi-cultural but just can't see the match-up.

But the pussy likes what the pussy likes. Curious, to say the least.

She said that when she met up with him and his friend Mr. I in the failed attempt to introduce Ms. A, it ended up being the three of them for dinner. Mr. S had arrived with Mr. I in his car, to the restaurant. Mr. S' dominance of the conversation and his immature showing off for Mr. I and SW was a real turn-off for her. His career is a technical profession, engineering. He's basically a good-looking and attractive geek, with Arabic and French attitudes toward women. So it's no big deal for him to have a fling with SW, as long as it suits him.

SW has shifted to protective mode, pointing out his faults and flaws as to why she should not be disappointed he's moved on.

Mr. M.

As we know, he hasn't aged well (as per Ms. A). He is overweight and, according to SW's niece, "creepy." SF is incredulous that he is not chasing her tail, as am I. But he is in a tough place right now; his wife essentially kicked him out, her family has money, and she literally took him to the cleaners in their divorce. Shortly before SW arrived on her trip, he received the divorce order from the judge and the wife was awarded half the property and permanent $10k per month spousal support. He was expecting much less.

So he was really beside himself, calling his ex- a "see you next tuesday" without limit, to SW when they spoke on the phone prior to her travel when she was trying to see if they could get together at least for a coffee or similar. That really turned SW off.

She did call him while on the trip, to see if he'd calmed down a bit, but he still refused to get together and mumbled something about how seeing SW would be a bad idea, and that perhaps his affair with her so many years ago added to the Karma that has come back at him in the form of his ruined life and terrible divorce outcome. SW, when later sharing this with me, said she was hurt by this reference and asked if she was correct in taking it as if he was indirectly adding some of the blame on her. I said no, he was observing that he was a bad husband, that if he had an affair with SW he likely had other affairs during his marriage, and that his being a bad husband created the Karma. She was just playing a bit role in his creating this bad Karma.

I said that he will at some point normalize post-divorce, but that for the near future he has a lot of anger and angst and is realizing that his post-divorce lifestyle is not going to be as free and easy as he hoped. In the meantime, it seems he is intent on spending more with the lawyers to try and reduce the support obligation via an appeal (good luck with that!).

SW asked me to work the numbers backwards, if he has a support obligation of $10k/month in that part of the country and state, how much do I figure he must earn on an annual basis? I didn't go there.

So this is my explanation and reasoning why I accept SW's explanation that there was no hotwife action during this last trip. As I wrote earlier, she was a bit disappointed for herself and for me.

[afagehi7]

$10k a month is more than I bring home. He must really be making bank. He's gotta be making 400-500k per year minimum. Does he own a business?

It seems like the home trip hotwifing is over. Maybe once the dust settles she'll be interested in something local. I'd say that this is a good time to stop extramarital activity if you want to stop it.

Perhaps it's ideal. If the right situation arises (pun intended) then she can be open to it but all of this drama and secrecy can stop. If you want to stop, now is the time. Perhaps once a year or so some situation will happen and you can be Eiffel towering your wife.

[Freemans892]

Can I am assuming that SW is a natural submissive when comes to sex?