I've just started on a new story. It's told from a first person perspective, which is slightly unusual. I'm posting the introductory passages to see what people think ...
Floored
Six months ago we enrolled in a beginners’ class at a local dance-school. Unsurprisingly, I was absolutely hopeless and dropped out after a few weeks. You, however, took to the ballroom floor like a duck to water. You decided to continue and have attended classes on your own ever since.
The week before I left a new member joined. Tall, broad-shouldered, handsome and athletic, John was a smooth mover. I couldn’t help but notice him glance in your direction from time to time. I felt both flattered he was looking at my beautiful wife and jealous he might be seeking to steal your attentions.
Like you, John was a natural. It came as no surprise when Shirley, the dance-teacher asked you to pair up. You were such an obvious fit and together you learned the rumba, the foxtrot and the jive in quick succession.
At first it felt a little strange to be so close to another man. John soon put you at ease, though. He was a true gentleman, always on time, always attentive and always keen to learn the new steps. And you couldn’t help but notice his sparkling blue eyes and warm smile whenever you looked up at him. Yes, it felt increasingly good to be in John’s arms!
The classes took place on a Friday evening. To round off the night some class-members visited the pub opposite for a quick drink and a chat. After your third time dancing together, John suggested that perhaps you and he could join them. At first you were reticent and said no, but then you decided to pluck up the courage to ask me if I would mind.
Your question came as little surprise. John’s name had popped up with increasing regularity in our conversations. Each casual mention reminded me of the one and only time I had seen him from a distance at the dance-school. The same mixed emotions flooded back, but now amplified and intensified. I felt jealous, obviously. But I also felt a strange excitement knowing I might now have competition for your affections.
There was just one answer I could give.
“Of course I don’t mind. I know how much you love your dancing. Go ahead and enjoy yourself!”
A smile lit up your face.
“Thank you! It will be nice to get to know John and the others a little better.”
So what do you think? Would you like me to continue?
Floored
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SamWarrens
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naivecuck2
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Re: Floored
Is this fiction or a true story?
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
The second instalment ...
As the next class neared I couldn’t help but notice an increasing excitement on your part. There was a certain spring in your step. At last Friday came and the wait was over. You showered, changed and, after giving me a perfunctory kiss on the cheek, left for dance-school.
The lesson went brilliantly! The new dance was the waltz, one of your favourites. After a short practice session you put your steps to the test. It felt so good to be held close in John’s strong, masculine arms as he swept you across the dance-floor. The two of you were on fire and when the music came to an end your virtuoso performance was greeted with a thunderous ovation from the class.
‘We must get the two of you into a dance contest soon,” said Shirley, “you’ll wipe the floor with the competition!”
John touched your hand very gently and looked down at you, smiling.
“You were brilliant, Joyce - I just LOVE dancing with you!!”
The compliment brought a blush to your cheeks.
“Oh I don’t know about that, John. It was really all down to you. It felt so good when you took the lead…”
You blushed again. This time when John looked at you he held his gaze just a fraction longer than normal. Your heart-beat quickened.
The after-class drinks were equally exciting. Everyone wanted to congratulate you on your waltz and they all said what a great couple you made. You and John basked appreciatively in the affirming comments, exchanging the occasional secretive glance from time to time when no-one was looking.
At the end of the evening, when the rest of the group had drifted away, John suggested exchanging phone numbers to keep in touch between classes.
“Just in case we think of anything we can do to improve things…” he said, with a twinkle in his eye.
“Yes, of course. That would be nice.”
You both got out your mobiles. You added John’s name to your Contacts like an excited teenager. He did it more measuredly, one letter at a time.
“J…O…Y…C…E…..”
“Such a lovely name - I think you rather suit it!”
Another smile. Another of those delicious glances that made you feel just a little weak at the knees.
There was one final surprise in store to round off the night. By now it was dark outside. John, like a true gentleman, walked you across the road to where your car was parked. As you rooted in your hand-bag for your keys he reached down and kissed you softly, first on the left cheek then on the right. Each short kiss was tender but respectful.
“Thank you for dancing with me, Joyce. I so look forward to our Friday evenings together.”
Your heart was pounding but John was careful not to over-step the mark. Reaching for the handle he opened the door to your car and stood back to let you in.
“See you next week, then.”
And with that he closed the door and disappeared into the night.
I do hope you're enjoying the journey! What do you think will happen to Joyce?
As the next class neared I couldn’t help but notice an increasing excitement on your part. There was a certain spring in your step. At last Friday came and the wait was over. You showered, changed and, after giving me a perfunctory kiss on the cheek, left for dance-school.
The lesson went brilliantly! The new dance was the waltz, one of your favourites. After a short practice session you put your steps to the test. It felt so good to be held close in John’s strong, masculine arms as he swept you across the dance-floor. The two of you were on fire and when the music came to an end your virtuoso performance was greeted with a thunderous ovation from the class.
‘We must get the two of you into a dance contest soon,” said Shirley, “you’ll wipe the floor with the competition!”
John touched your hand very gently and looked down at you, smiling.
“You were brilliant, Joyce - I just LOVE dancing with you!!”
The compliment brought a blush to your cheeks.
“Oh I don’t know about that, John. It was really all down to you. It felt so good when you took the lead…”
You blushed again. This time when John looked at you he held his gaze just a fraction longer than normal. Your heart-beat quickened.
The after-class drinks were equally exciting. Everyone wanted to congratulate you on your waltz and they all said what a great couple you made. You and John basked appreciatively in the affirming comments, exchanging the occasional secretive glance from time to time when no-one was looking.
At the end of the evening, when the rest of the group had drifted away, John suggested exchanging phone numbers to keep in touch between classes.
“Just in case we think of anything we can do to improve things…” he said, with a twinkle in his eye.
“Yes, of course. That would be nice.”
You both got out your mobiles. You added John’s name to your Contacts like an excited teenager. He did it more measuredly, one letter at a time.
“J…O…Y…C…E…..”
“Such a lovely name - I think you rather suit it!”
Another smile. Another of those delicious glances that made you feel just a little weak at the knees.
There was one final surprise in store to round off the night. By now it was dark outside. John, like a true gentleman, walked you across the road to where your car was parked. As you rooted in your hand-bag for your keys he reached down and kissed you softly, first on the left cheek then on the right. Each short kiss was tender but respectful.
“Thank you for dancing with me, Joyce. I so look forward to our Friday evenings together.”
Your heart was pounding but John was careful not to over-step the mark. Reaching for the handle he opened the door to your car and stood back to let you in.
“See you next week, then.”
And with that he closed the door and disappeared into the night.
I do hope you're enjoying the journey! What do you think will happen to Joyce?
Last edited by unfasten_her_slacks on Tue Apr 27, 2021 8:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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SamWarrens
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Re: Floored
I think that if you go away one weekend she will take the opportunity to fuck John for the entire weekend.
Great minds may think alike, but fools seldom differ.
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
Thanks, Sam. Perhaps John will take the opportunity to make love to my dear wife for the entire weekend!!!
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
The next episode...
On the way home your mind raced. You had done absolutely nothing wrong, but still you felt a sharp pang of guilt. What if someone had seen John bend down to kiss you? And what would I think about it? You resolved to tell all.
Over a cup of tea in the kitchen you confessed. You shared everything about your night. The joy of dancing the waltz with John, the drinks after, the exchange of telephone numbers and then those two seemingly innocent kisses in the car-park of the dance-school.
“I’m so sorry, Simon … I don’t think I should go back again. I feel so bad about what happened.”
You looked up at me anxiously.
“Why ever not? You love dancing with John. And I’m not at all surprised he kissed you goodnight - you’re a very beautiful lady, Joyce. Besides, he acted like a true gentleman, didn’t he? He made sure you got home safe.”
“Well, I suppose …”
“So that’s it then. There’s no question about stopping. I want you to go out and enjoy yourself. You deserve it, so just relax and see how things go.”
“And you don’t mind me having contact with John on the ‘phone?”
“Of course not, silly. Why should I? If you’re going to win that competition you’ll need to keep in touch between lessons.”
The look of relief on your face said it all. Nothing more was said as we settled down to watch TV together. Neither of us would admit it, but we were both awash with very different emotions. You felt nervous, curious and more than a little guilty. I felt jealous, anxious but more than a little aroused. The thought of you in another man’s arms, particularly those of a charming, handsome gentleman, was strangely compelling.
On the way home your mind raced. You had done absolutely nothing wrong, but still you felt a sharp pang of guilt. What if someone had seen John bend down to kiss you? And what would I think about it? You resolved to tell all.
Over a cup of tea in the kitchen you confessed. You shared everything about your night. The joy of dancing the waltz with John, the drinks after, the exchange of telephone numbers and then those two seemingly innocent kisses in the car-park of the dance-school.
“I’m so sorry, Simon … I don’t think I should go back again. I feel so bad about what happened.”
You looked up at me anxiously.
“Why ever not? You love dancing with John. And I’m not at all surprised he kissed you goodnight - you’re a very beautiful lady, Joyce. Besides, he acted like a true gentleman, didn’t he? He made sure you got home safe.”
“Well, I suppose …”
“So that’s it then. There’s no question about stopping. I want you to go out and enjoy yourself. You deserve it, so just relax and see how things go.”
“And you don’t mind me having contact with John on the ‘phone?”
“Of course not, silly. Why should I? If you’re going to win that competition you’ll need to keep in touch between lessons.”
The look of relief on your face said it all. Nothing more was said as we settled down to watch TV together. Neither of us would admit it, but we were both awash with very different emotions. You felt nervous, curious and more than a little guilty. I felt jealous, anxious but more than a little aroused. The thought of you in another man’s arms, particularly those of a charming, handsome gentleman, was strangely compelling.
Re: Floored
This is an amazingly hot story! Please go on!!
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
The next episode...
It didn’t take long for the first text to arrive. Saturday morning and your phone ‘pinged’.
“Loved last night. You were brilliant! J x”
I could tell instantly from your smile who the message was from.
“So are you going to reply?”
“Reply?”
“To the text you’ve just got from John!”
You giggled sheepishly but started to tap out a short message in response.
“Yes, last night was super!”
You paused for a second. If John had signed-off with a capital ‘J’ it would be nice to have your own sign-off. But not’J’, that would be just too confusing. Then a sudden moment of inspiration. If it was John with a big ‘J’, you could be Joyce with a little ‘j’. Yes that would be absolutely perfect!
You added ‘j’ to your message and paused again. Should the text end there? You glanced across at me guiltily then added one final letter. So there it was, your very first message to John.
“Yes, last night was super! j x”
You pressed send and it was on its way. It didn’t stop there though. The exchange continued over breakfast as the texts pinged back and forth.
“Really looking forward to seeing you again next Friday. Is Simon OK with this? x”
“Yes, don’t worry. I’ve spoken to him and he’s fine x”
“Shall we go for a drink after? x”
“That would be nice. The pub opposite? x”
“It was a bit noisy in there. I was thinking it might be good to try somewhere a little quieter. What do you think? x”
“OK x”
“I’ve got a place in mind just round the corner which I think you’ll love x”
“Sounds good x”
“Great! You’re a super lady, Joyce xx”
“I’m looking forward to seeing you again, John. I really enjoy dancing with you xx”
Hope you're enjoying the story. Does anyone have any questions about Joyce? I will be happy to answer
It didn’t take long for the first text to arrive. Saturday morning and your phone ‘pinged’.
“Loved last night. You were brilliant! J x”
I could tell instantly from your smile who the message was from.
“So are you going to reply?”
“Reply?”
“To the text you’ve just got from John!”
You giggled sheepishly but started to tap out a short message in response.
“Yes, last night was super!”
You paused for a second. If John had signed-off with a capital ‘J’ it would be nice to have your own sign-off. But not’J’, that would be just too confusing. Then a sudden moment of inspiration. If it was John with a big ‘J’, you could be Joyce with a little ‘j’. Yes that would be absolutely perfect!
You added ‘j’ to your message and paused again. Should the text end there? You glanced across at me guiltily then added one final letter. So there it was, your very first message to John.
“Yes, last night was super! j x”
You pressed send and it was on its way. It didn’t stop there though. The exchange continued over breakfast as the texts pinged back and forth.
“Really looking forward to seeing you again next Friday. Is Simon OK with this? x”
“Yes, don’t worry. I’ve spoken to him and he’s fine x”
“Shall we go for a drink after? x”
“That would be nice. The pub opposite? x”
“It was a bit noisy in there. I was thinking it might be good to try somewhere a little quieter. What do you think? x”
“OK x”
“I’ve got a place in mind just round the corner which I think you’ll love x”
“Sounds good x”
“Great! You’re a super lady, Joyce xx”
“I’m looking forward to seeing you again, John. I really enjoy dancing with you xx”
Hope you're enjoying the story. Does anyone have any questions about Joyce? I will be happy to answer
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afagehi7
Re: Floored
It's a true story?
If so tell us about joyce. How is she in the bedroom? Is she dirty?
If so tell us about joyce. How is she in the bedroom? Is she dirty?
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
No, she's really shy and conservative. Missionary, in bed, lights out ... and no oral.
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afagehi7
Re: Floored
Ok. It's still a great story.unfasten_her_slacks wrote: ↑Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:17 pmNo, she's really shy and conservative. Missionary, in bed, lights out ... and no oral.
Hopefully after the next dance when they go out we have some movement. Hopefully some kissing at minimum...
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
Who knows how long Joyce will keep John waiting - and whether she will succumb to his charms at all! But isn't the chase the best part of all... ?afagehi7 wrote: ↑Thu Apr 29, 2021 8:56 pmOk. It's still a great story.unfasten_her_slacks wrote: ↑Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:17 pmNo, she's really shy and conservative. Missionary, in bed, lights out ... and no oral.
Hopefully after the next dance when they go out we have some movement. Hopefully some kissing at minimum...
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SamWarrens
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Re: Floored
Yes, the chase is the best right up to where you catch her and then it gets better!
Great minds may think alike, but fools seldom differ.
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
The story continues ...
It was another long wait for the next class, but at least you could now exchange
texts with John between lessons. He sent at least one message every day to check respectfully how you were. Things were moving on.
Friday night. Another waltz, another round of applause. It was lovely to be back in John’s arms once more, spinning across the dance-floor as he took the lead. At the end of the lesson Shirley asked you to stay behind so she could have a quick word.
After the rest of the class had left Shirley told you all about a beginner’s competition that was coming up in a month’s time. It was taking place in Newcastle and would involve a night away, but it seemed just right for you. Would you be interested? John looked at you and smiled. You looked at John and smiled back. You both looked at Shirley and replied together. A very big yes!!
Shirley clasped her hands in joy.
“You two make such a great couple! I’m sure you’re going to love it!”
I'm never sure if my stories make any sense really. Are you enjoying, "Floored"?
It was another long wait for the next class, but at least you could now exchange
texts with John between lessons. He sent at least one message every day to check respectfully how you were. Things were moving on.
Friday night. Another waltz, another round of applause. It was lovely to be back in John’s arms once more, spinning across the dance-floor as he took the lead. At the end of the lesson Shirley asked you to stay behind so she could have a quick word.
After the rest of the class had left Shirley told you all about a beginner’s competition that was coming up in a month’s time. It was taking place in Newcastle and would involve a night away, but it seemed just right for you. Would you be interested? John looked at you and smiled. You looked at John and smiled back. You both looked at Shirley and replied together. A very big yes!!
Shirley clasped her hands in joy.
“You two make such a great couple! I’m sure you’re going to love it!”
I'm never sure if my stories make any sense really. Are you enjoying, "Floored"?
Re: Floored
YES. Please continue.
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
You chatted excitedly about the competition on the way out to the car-park, which by now was nearly empty.
“Shall we walk? The pub’s not far away.”
“Yes, what a lovely idea. It’s such a nice night.”
John smiled, reached out and took hold of your left hand. It seemed so natural. After all, the two of you often held hands while dancing. But this was different. It felt both exciting and naughty at the same time, just like being a schoolgirl again. John’s hand was warm, masculine and strong. Yes, it was good to be holding hands.
You exchanged pleasantries on the way to ‘The White Hart’, a lovely little bistro-pub just five minutes walk from the dance-school. Ever the gentleman, John opened the door for you on arrival. He ushered you in, touching your hip gently in the process. It might have been an innocent, inadvertent contact, but John’s hand lingered just long enough to set your mind racing.
There was no doubt John was a very handsome man, but how could he possibly be interested in you? And yet this brief gesture of intimacy suggested he might.
Given the lack of feedback I do wonder if my style of writing is putting people off. Perhaps the story is too slow or not hitting the right notes. My aim, however was to provide something a little different to think about.
“Shall we walk? The pub’s not far away.”
“Yes, what a lovely idea. It’s such a nice night.”
John smiled, reached out and took hold of your left hand. It seemed so natural. After all, the two of you often held hands while dancing. But this was different. It felt both exciting and naughty at the same time, just like being a schoolgirl again. John’s hand was warm, masculine and strong. Yes, it was good to be holding hands.
You exchanged pleasantries on the way to ‘The White Hart’, a lovely little bistro-pub just five minutes walk from the dance-school. Ever the gentleman, John opened the door for you on arrival. He ushered you in, touching your hip gently in the process. It might have been an innocent, inadvertent contact, but John’s hand lingered just long enough to set your mind racing.
There was no doubt John was a very handsome man, but how could he possibly be interested in you? And yet this brief gesture of intimacy suggested he might.
Given the lack of feedback I do wonder if my style of writing is putting people off. Perhaps the story is too slow or not hitting the right notes. My aim, however was to provide something a little different to think about.
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coastalover
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Re: Floored
I don't think there is any problem with your writing, but the length of the submissions doesn't let one get into the story deep enough before its over. No time to build up enough interest. Stop worrying about whether you are pleasing us and write the story.
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roaringknob
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Re: Floored
Good story please keep posting
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afagehi7
Re: Floored
Exactly. Not enough to give feedback on. We like it so keep writingcoastalover wrote: ↑Tue May 04, 2021 11:40 pmI don't think there is any problem with your writing, but the length of the submissions doesn't let one get into the story deep enough before its over. No time to build up enough interest. Stop worrying about whether you are pleasing us and write the story.
Re: Floored
No your style is great it’s just that the story segments are too short! It’s a wonderful story but it’s death by a thousand short segments!
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unfasten_her_slacks
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Re: Floored
Great - thanks very much for the feedback! I'm going to ask an admin to delete the story so far and will start again.