Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[RetiredSnowbird]

It seems like the two of you are on the same page with this. I'm sure that, once you find the right candidate(s), there will be no looking back. Please keep us updated.

[2inUPMichigan]

It seems like the two of you are on the same page with this. I'm sure that, once you find the right candidate(s), there will be no looking back. Please keep us updated.

Whoops! Caught you commenting in the "Ask a Hotwife Thread" ....Hmmm, now let's see what usually happens in that case?

Either the post "mysteriously dissapears"

OR one of our wonderful VHW'S asks that you:

"Please don't comment or reply to any posts in this thread unless you are a VHW or are responding to their answer to your question."
Thank You

[RetiredSnowbird]

It seems like the two of you are on the same page with this. I'm sure that, once you find the right candidate(s), there will be no looking back. Please keep us updated.

Whoops! Caught you commenting in the "Ask a Hotwife Thread" ....Hmmm, now let's see what usually happens in that case?

Either the post "mysteriously dissapears"

OR one of our wonderful VHW'S asks that you:

"Please don't comment or reply to any posts in this thread unless you are a VHW or are responding to their answer to your question."
Thank You

Ooops is right, 2inUP. Foot in mouth, head up the wazoo. Sorry.

Continue to work your magic, ladies. Bowing out...with head still up the wazoo.

[Reno1]

I have been either with a hot girlfriend or hot wife my entire life. There have been three main relationships.
In the first one she fucked another guy while we were dating in high school, but were both virgins. I was crushed, upset and ready to breakup. But I couldn’t and worse the fact she had fucked another guy was an extreme turn on for me. I had never heard of that before.
I started hinting to her it was a turn on, but not that it was OK.
We got married, she was pregnant, it may have been the other guy’s baby......but I really took her word for it.
After another baby, I was talking about a friend and she confessed that she had been fucking him, and another guy that she knew from high school.
I couldn’t stand it this time......and I told her what a turn on it was when she fucked other guys. It was our life then.
My feeling is that for the hotwife, it’s an obligation to be true to your husband but that you do harbor lust for other guys that you might want to fuck if you had permission and encouragement.
But I never pushed. It was always her choice when, where and who. And how many times.
My question is if my belief is accurate? It should never be forced, or coerced.....just given irrevocable permission.

[Farmgirl]

I have been either with a hot girlfriend or hot wife my entire life. There have been three main relationships.
In the first one she fucked another guy while we were dating in high school, but were both virgins. I was crushed, upset and ready to breakup. But I couldn’t and worse the fact she had fucked another guy was an extreme turn on for me. I had never heard of that before.
I started hinting to her it was a turn on, but not that it was OK.
We got married, she was pregnant, it may have been the other guy’s baby......but I really took her word for it.
After another baby, I was talking about a friend and she confessed that she had been fucking him, and another guy that she knew from high school.
I couldn’t stand it this time......and I told her what a turn on it was when she fucked other guys. It was our life then.
My feeling is that for the hotwife, it’s an obligation to be true to your husband but that you do harbor lust for other guys that you might want to fuck if you had permission and encouragement.
But I never pushed. It was always her choice when, where and who. And how many times.
My question is if my belief is accurate? It should never be forced, or coerced.....just given irrevocable permission.

No one should be forced or coerced in any of these matters. That shouldn't need to be said, but sadly for some, it does.
The "irrevocable permission" part is an important part and one many women worry about when they are approached by their husbands about this. It's not so much that we are appalled by our husband wanting to share us, rather we are worried that he will take it back. And when he takes it back, he will blame us for having gone through with it.
It plays out far too often here that way, the husband wants a Hotwife, she agrees to try it. He can't handle it, or he only wants it his way, it way it is played in his fantasy. So, he wants her to stop.
When that happens on here and it does fairly often, the men with their own insecurities join the husband in condemning the wife. She doesn't care about the marriage, the husband, etc.
They don't want to give her irrevocable permission, it scares the pee out of them. They want to keep the reins and remain in control because they don't trust their wives.

[feetuji]

Well, my questions are not so philosophycal as others lol, so here goes one very simple: what do you think about foot fetish and those weird guys like me that love feet? By the way, does your husband have it, and if yes, how does that come into play in a cuck relation?

[Farmgirl]

Well, my questions are not so philosophycal as others lol, so here goes one very simple: what do you think about foot fetish and those weird guys like me that love feet? By the way, does your husband have it, and if yes, how does that come into play in a cuck relation?

My Number1 is aroused by a woman's feet. I find it to be a normal reaction. A true fetish is when one needs that item to reach orgasm. He doesn't fit the true fetish level, rather her feet are more of an aphrodisiac for him.
I know I have "come fuck me" feet and I make the most of them as another asset of my sexuality.

[rascalnvixen]

Farmgirl or any other VHW,

Does any part of your hotwifing activities have anything to do with controlling your lover, either directly or indirectly? Meaning that you enjoy your sense of power you think you have over them because of your sex, that you are able to influence their activities and desires by your own behaviors. Is that power, perceived or real, a large part of why you play with other men?

Rascal

[feetuji]

Well, my questions are not so philosophycal as others lol, so here goes one very simple: what do you think about foot fetish and those weird guys like me that love feet? By the way, does your husband have it, and if yes, how does that come into play in a cuck relation?

My Number1 is aroused by a woman's feet. I find it to be a normal reaction. A true fetish is when one needs that item to reach orgasm. He doesn't fit the true fetish level, rather her feet are more of an aphrodisiac for him.
I know I have "come fuck me" feet and I make the most of them as another asset of my sexuality.

Thanks for answeringi will seek your feet in the hotties

[Farmgirl]

Well, my questions are not so philosophycal as others lol, so here goes one very simple: what do you think about foot fetish and those weird guys like me that love feet? By the way, does your husband have it, and if yes, how does that come into play in a cuck relation?

My Number1 is aroused by a woman's feet. I find it to be a normal reaction. A true fetish is when one needs that item to reach orgasm. He doesn't fit the true fetish level, rather her feet are more of an aphrodisiac for him.
I know I have "come fuck me" feet and I make the most of them as another asset of my sexuality.

Thanks for answeringi will seek your feet in the hotties

I only share pics with lovers and close friends.

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl or any other VHW,

Does any part of your hotwifing activities have anything to do with controlling your lover, either directly or indirectly? Meaning that you enjoy your sense of power you think you have over them because of your sex, that you are able to influence their activities and desires by your own behaviors. Is that power, perceived or real, a large part of why you play with other men?

Rascal

Rascal,
I wouldn't say I set out or plan to control them, but I do love the power I have over them. I learned early on that men succumb to my confidence and my sex, readily giving me power over them. For me, this is one of the joys of being a woman in general and a Hotwife in particular. I don't seek control, but I relish it as it is given. I love do love the power I have over men! Of course, I only use that power for good .

[crystal]

Farmgirl or any other VHW,

Does any part of your hotwifing activities have anything to do with controlling your lover, either directly or indirectly? Meaning that you enjoy your sense of power you think you have over them because of your sex, that you are able to influence their activities and desires by your own behaviors. Is that power, perceived or real, a large part of why you play with other men?

Rascal

I enjoy my power but I use it responsibly. At the end of the day you have to act with respect and ethic. That’s why I always need to answer myself : is that ethical, would it hurt the feelings of others, not only your beloved one or your lover, anyone involved directly or indirectly

[rascalnvixen]

Farmgirl or any other VHW,

Does any part of your hotwifing activities have anything to do with controlling your lover, either directly or indirectly? Meaning that you enjoy your sense of power you think you have over them because of your sex, that you are able to influence their activities and desires by your own behaviors. Is that power, perceived or real, a large part of why you play with other men?

Rascal

Rascal,
I wouldn't say I set out or plan to control them, but I do love the power I have over them. I learned early on that men succumb to my confidence and my sex, readily giving me power over them. For me, this is one of the joys of being a woman in general and a Hotwife in particular. I don't seek control, but I relish it as it is given. I love do love the power I have over men! Of course, I only use that power for good .

My dear Farmgirl,

Somehow, I'm not at all surprised by your reply!!! Didn't think you set out to "control" them but some of your posts gave me the thought that you took much pleasure from having and wielding a power (influence) relationship with your lovers. Pretty interesting!!

Rascal

[rascalnvixen]

Farmgirl or any other VHW,

Does any part of your hotwifing activities have anything to do with controlling your lover, either directly or indirectly? Meaning that you enjoy your sense of power you think you have over them because of your sex, that you are able to influence their activities and desires by your own behaviors. Is that power, perceived or real, a large part of why you play with other men?

Rascal

I enjoy my power but I use it responsibly. At the end of the day you have to act with respect and ethic. That’s why I always need to answer myself : is that ethical, would it hurt the feelings of others, not only your beloved one or your lover, anyone involved directly or indirectly

Crystal,

How could anyone not enjoy having a power over someone else in such an intimate manner. I greatly respect your reply!! A hot and sexy hotwife who is considerate of her male lovers and her most important man, her hubby!!! I don't believe we have conversed before but your thoughts above reflect well upon you!!! Glad to make your acquaintance!! Thanks for your response.

It seems that both you and Farmgirl enjoy the power you are given and you both use that carefully, but is that power feeling a part of what makes the hotwife life so appealing for you? Knowing that through your sexuality you will enjoy that power with multiple men, is that part of the motivation to be with other men, to enjoy that power in more than just hubby? Do you think that "power" is a kind of aphrodisiac for you?

Farmgirl or any other VHWs, you are certainly encouraged to respond as well.

Rascal

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl or any other VHW,

Does any part of your hotwifing activities have anything to do with controlling your lover, either directly or indirectly? Meaning that you enjoy your sense of power you think you have over them because of your sex, that you are able to influence their activities and desires by your own behaviors. Is that power, perceived or real, a large part of why you play with other men?

Rascal

I enjoy my power but I use it responsibly. At the end of the day you have to act with respect and ethic. That’s why I always need to answer myself : is that ethical, would it hurt the feelings of others, not only your beloved one or your lover, anyone involved directly or indirectly

Crystal,

How could anyone not enjoy having a power over someone else in such an intimate manner. I greatly respect your reply!! A hot and sexy hotwife who is considerate of her male lovers and her most important man, her hubby!!! I don't believe we have conversed before but your thoughts above reflect well upon you!!! Glad to make your acquaintance!! Thanks for your response.

It seems that both you and Farmgirl enjoy the power you are given and you both use that carefully, but is that power feeling a part of what makes the hotwife life so appealing for you? Knowing that through your sexuality you will enjoy that power with multiple men, is that part of the motivation to be with other men, to enjoy that power in more than just hubby? Do you think that "power" is a kind of aphrodisiac for you?

Farmgirl or any other VHWs, you are certainly encouraged to respond as well.

Rascal

Rascal,
The Power appeal is very much a part of my being a Hotwife, and I am as much a Hotwife as I am anything else. Like all parts of us, the power exists on a spectrum, layering and fading from color to color. There are so many levels and manifestations of female power and in my power.
I love the sexual power, the high I get from it is heady indeed.
Another level or type of power I enjoy just as much is my influence, and that can have a sexual twist or it can be influence in the more vanilla aspects of a man's life. How he acts, lives, conducts business. I advise several men in business matters, and in life skills. I mentor a few young men in these same areas. Even though not all of these have a sexual interaction, it is power and therefore has an undercurrent of sexuality.
Like you say, it is a type of aphrodisiac for me, but more so, it is an inherent part of me. It turns me on to be me.
In all of this, there is a responsibility that I take seriously.

[feetuji]

Well, my questions are not so philosophycal as others lol, so here goes one very simple: what do you think about foot fetish and those weird guys like me that love feet? By the way, does your husband have it, and if yes, how does that come into play in a cuck relation?

My Number1 is aroused by a woman's feet. I find it to be a normal reaction. A true fetish is when one needs that item to reach orgasm. He doesn't fit the true fetish level, rather her feet are more of an aphrodisiac for him.
I know I have "come fuck me" feet and I make the most of them as another asset of my sexuality.

Thanks for answeringi will seek your feet in the hotties

I only share pics with lovers and close friends.

Sorry, when I said that I tought that you had some in the Hotties section. Your fault, when you said you have fuck me feet I got like "hmmmmm! Interesting!".
Anyway, thanks for answering

[rascalnvixen]

Farmgirl or any other VHW,

Does any part of your hotwifing activities have anything to do with controlling your lover, either directly or indirectly? Meaning that you enjoy your sense of power you think you have over them because of your sex, that you are able to influence their activities and desires by your own behaviors. Is that power, perceived or real, a large part of why you play with other men?

Rascal

I enjoy my power but I use it responsibly. At the end of the day you have to act with respect and ethic. That’s why I always need to answer myself : is that ethical, would it hurt the feelings of others, not only your beloved one or your lover, anyone involved directly or indirectly

Crystal,

How could anyone not enjoy having a power over someone else in such an intimate manner. I greatly respect your reply!! A hot and sexy hotwife who is considerate of her male lovers and her most important man, her hubby!!! I don't believe we have conversed before but your thoughts above reflect well upon you!!! Glad to make your acquaintance!! Thanks for your response.

It seems that both you and Farmgirl enjoy the power you are given and you both use that carefully, but is that power feeling a part of what makes the hotwife life so appealing for you? Knowing that through your sexuality you will enjoy that power with multiple men, is that part of the motivation to be with other men, to enjoy that power in more than just hubby? Do you think that "power" is a kind of aphrodisiac for you?

Farmgirl or any other VHWs, you are certainly encouraged to respond as well.

Rascal

Rascal,
The Power appeal is very much a part of my being a Hotwife, and I am as much a Hotwife as I am anything else. Like all parts of us, the power exists on a spectrum, layering and fading from color to color. There are so many levels and manifestations of female power and in my power.
I love the sexual power, the high I get from it is heady indeed.
Another level or type of power I enjoy just as much is my influence, and that can have a sexual twist or it can be influence in the more vanilla aspects of a man's life. How he acts, lives, conducts business. I advise several men in business matters, and in life skills. I mentor a few young men in these same areas. Even though not all of these have a sexual interaction, it is power and therefore has an undercurrent of sexuality.
Like you say, it is a type of aphrodisiac for me, but more so, it is an inherent part of me. It turns me on to be me.
In all of this, there is a responsibility that I take seriously.

Hmmmm..... Interesting response!!! I never thought about "the Power" in a spectrum, layering or fading context. That is a very insightful, well presented and thoughtful appraisal of your feelings on the subject! Your abilities to communicate your thoughts and feelings in text is quite good!! I understand pretty well what you are saying. That response helps to clarify for me part of why some women relish being with other men along with their husbands. I would assume (I know, dangerous!) that the spectrum and layers change with each hotwife experience, even with the same men, depending on other variables such as location, time of day, or stress level just to name a few possibilities. Power is such an important aspect to sexuality. We all work with that power and we all have it. Some are more aware of it (you) and use it for their purposes and others feel the power their partners use but may not recognize it at all, they just enjoy the sex!!

Thanks for that great response!!

Rascal

[CreamMilk]

Hello, ladies this question is more general, and but I'd really like some HWs perspectives. Currently I'm single and have had this fantasy about having a HW for about 7 years now, but I've never voiced these desires while dating. I just didn't feel like springing something like this with any of my exes. I believe explaining this kink to your partner is such a sensitive topic and I couldn't bare to see their eyes cloud up with hurt and confusion. I've often searched what women thought about hotwifing on more general forums and the overwhelming majority said if their partner asked this of them they'd say no, or worse it would irrevocably change their feelings about the relationship.

Since so many women seem to be against it should I just drop this fantasy? I think I'd rather go through the pain of getting rid of this kink if it means that it would avoid heartbreak for any future gf of mine.

[Farmgirl]

Hello, ladies this question is more general, and but I'd really like some HWs perspectives. Currently I'm single and have had this fantasy about having a HW for about 7 years now, but I've never voiced these desires while dating. I just didn't feel like springing something like this with any of my exes. I believe explaining this kink to your partner is such a sensitive topic and I couldn't bare to see their eyes cloud up with hurt and confusion. I've often searched what women thought about hotwifing on more general forums and the overwhelming majority said if their partner asked this of them they'd say no, or worse it would irrevocably change their feelings about the relationship.

Since so many women seem to be against it should I just drop this fantasy? I think I'd rather go through the pain of getting rid of this kink if it means that it would avoid heartbreak for any future gf of mine.

Since you have so many doubts and it is a fantasy, I would suggest you just drop it.
This lifestyle doesn't tend to work out for men with doubts.

[CreamMilk]

Hello, ladies this question is more general, and but I'd really like some HWs perspectives. Currently I'm single and have had this fantasy about having a HW for about 7 years now, but I've never voiced these desires while dating. I just didn't feel like springing something like this with any of my exes. I believe explaining this kink to your partner is such a sensitive topic and I couldn't bare to see their eyes cloud up with hurt and confusion. I've often searched what women thought about hotwifing on more general forums and the overwhelming majority said if their partner asked this of them they'd say no, or worse it would irrevocably change their feelings about the relationship.

Since so many women seem to be against it should I just drop this fantasy? I think I'd rather go through the pain of getting rid of this kink if it means that it would avoid heartbreak for any future gf of mine.

Since you have so many doubts and it is a fantasy, I would suggest you just drop it.
This lifestyle doesn't tend to work out for men with doubts.

Why do I feel like a child at a candy store that has been denied access to sweets! Haha, but really, I suppose your right. Although I've been looking into the lifestyle and kink for quite a while, I just can't see myself voicing my getting deep into a relationship and then bringing it up. I've read more than a few accounts of this happening and it's always caused my stomach to churn a bit, personally it just doesn't feel right.

The reason I personally wanted to ask Hotwives about this is that I often see a lot of you are more more cerebral and grounded about this kink than the majority of us men. Often it seems a lot of us tend to lose sight with reality when this desire becomes over encompassing. Although I'd really love to have a HW that would enjoy the physical and perhaps even emotional lavishment of her lovers while we travel through the lifestyle together, it just appears like not enough women would be open to the idea and my chances of finding one in the wild that would be, are dismally low.

Unfortunately since I've engrained this kink/fantasy into myself for quite a few years, through reading other people's experiences, erotica, porn and the like, it will definitely be hard to purge it from my mind. It's definitely my top sexual desire at this point, but I find myself at the point where I either want to go through with experiencing the lifestyle or just do my best to get rid of it. Thank you for the advice, Farmgirl.

[Wisher]

Can we ask one specific member?

Howdy Ares! Saw you do a post by yesterday after so long an absence. How are things?

[Farmgirl]

Hello, ladies this question is more general, and but I'd really like some HWs perspectives. Currently I'm single and have had this fantasy about having a HW for about 7 years now, but I've never voiced these desires while dating. I just didn't feel like springing something like this with any of my exes. I believe explaining this kink to your partner is such a sensitive topic and I couldn't bare to see their eyes cloud up with hurt and confusion. I've often searched what women thought about hotwifing on more general forums and the overwhelming majority said if their partner asked this of them they'd say no, or worse it would irrevocably change their feelings about the relationship.

Since so many women seem to be against it should I just drop this fantasy? I think I'd rather go through the pain of getting rid of this kink if it means that it would avoid heartbreak for any future gf of mine.

Since you have so many doubts and it is a fantasy, I would suggest you just drop it.
This lifestyle doesn't tend to work out for men with doubts.

Why do I feel like a child at a candy store that has been denied access to sweets! Haha, but really, I suppose your right. Although I've been looking into the lifestyle and kink for quite a while, I just can't see myself voicing my getting deep into a relationship and then bringing it up. I've read more than a few accounts of this happening and it's always caused my stomach to churn a bit, personally it just doesn't feel right.

The reason I personally wanted to ask Hotwives about this is that I often see a lot of you are more more cerebral and grounded about this kink than the majority of us men. Often it seems a lot of us tend to lose sight with reality when this desire becomes over encompassing. Although I'd really love to have a HW that would enjoy the physical and perhaps even emotional lavishment of her lovers while we travel through the lifestyle together, it just appears like not enough women would be open to the idea and my chances of finding one in the wild that would be, are dismally low.

Unfortunately since I've engrained this kink/fantasy into myself for quite a few years, through reading other people's experiences, erotica, porn and the like, it will definitely be hard to purge it from my mind. It's definitely my top sexual desire at this point, but I find myself at the point where I either want to go through with experiencing the lifestyle or just do my best to get rid of it. Thank you for the advice, Farmgirl.

Now that you've filled in more gaps, I'll give more advice and opinion .

If this is just fantasy for you, just make believe, by all means let it go. But, if this is really you, you won't be able to let it go. By the time my husband was 16, I knew he had this in him. By the time we were married, I was sure it was a part of him.
If this is a part of you, it won't go away. Only you can answer that, and only if you are honest with yourself.
If this is you, don't wait until you are deeply involved with a woman to broach the subject.
Discuss this part of you on the second date, before you have led her on by hiding things. Discuss it before she feels like you hid or lied about things. Be open, be honest, let her know so she can consider it and see if she might want it too. If not, go your separate ways. Neither should yoke themself with someone sexually incompatable.
The women you have read on other forums that are against this, don't understand how it works, they knowing men, can't see how it could work. Most women aren't really against extra-marital sex, they're against other women knowing, and against their husbands knowing. Given the chance, many,many women will have an affair at the right time. They will say they won't, and they'll judge other women that do, but look at the numbers, half or more women will cheat. And, thats just the number that admit it in studies and surveys.
It's not all about women wouldn't like this or do this as much as it is about how they perceive their husbands acting and reacting.

[CreamMilk]

Hello, ladies this question is more general, and but I'd really like some HWs perspectives. Currently I'm single and have had this fantasy about having a HW for about 7 years now, but I've never voiced these desires while dating. I just didn't feel like springing something like this with any of my exes. I believe explaining this kink to your partner is such a sensitive topic and I couldn't bare to see their eyes cloud up with hurt and confusion. I've often searched what women thought about hotwifing on more general forums and the overwhelming majority said if their partner asked this of them they'd say no, or worse it would irrevocably change their feelings about the relationship.

Since so many women seem to be against it should I just drop this fantasy? I think I'd rather go through the pain of getting rid of this kink if it means that it would avoid heartbreak for any future gf of mine.

Since you have so many doubts and it is a fantasy, I would suggest you just drop it.
This lifestyle doesn't tend to work out for men with doubts.

Why do I feel like a child at a candy store that has been denied access to sweets! Haha, but really, I suppose your right. Although I've been looking into the lifestyle and kink for quite a while, I just can't see myself voicing my getting deep into a relationship and then bringing it up. I've read more than a few accounts of this happening and it's always caused my stomach to churn a bit, personally it just doesn't feel right.

The reason I personally wanted to ask Hotwives about this is that I often see a lot of you are more more cerebral and grounded about this kink than the majority of us men. Often it seems a lot of us tend to lose sight with reality when this desire becomes over encompassing. Although I'd really love to have a HW that would enjoy the physical and perhaps even emotional lavishment of her lovers while we travel through the lifestyle together, it just appears like not enough women would be open to the idea and my chances of finding one in the wild that would be, are dismally low.

Unfortunately since I've engrained this kink/fantasy into myself for quite a few years, through reading other people's experiences, erotica, porn and the like, it will definitely be hard to purge it from my mind. It's definitely my top sexual desire at this point, but I find myself at the point where I either want to go through with experiencing the lifestyle or just do my best to get rid of it. Thank you for the advice, Farmgirl.

Now that you've filled in more gaps, I'll give more advice and opinion .

If this is just fantasy for you, just make believe, by all means let it go. But, if this is really you, you won't be able to let it go. By the time my husband was 16, I knew he had this in him. By the time we were married, I was sure it was a part of him.
If this is a part of you, it won't go away. Only you can answer that, and only if you are honest with yourself.
If this is you, don't wait until you are deeply involved with a woman to broach the subject.
Discuss this part of you on the second date, before you have led her on by hiding things. Discuss it before she feels like you hid or lied about things. Be open, be honest, let her know so she can consider it and see if she might want it too. If not, go your separate ways. Neither should yoke themself with someone sexually incompatable.
The women you have read on other forums that are against this, don't understand how it works, they knowing men, can't see how it could work. Most women aren't really against extra-marital sex, they're against other women knowing, and against their husbands knowing. Given the chance, many,many women will have an affair at the right time. They will say they won't, and they'll judge other women that do, but look at the numbers, half or more women will cheat. And, thats just the number that admit it in studies and surveys.
It's not all about women wouldn't like this or do this as much as it is about how they perceive their husbands acting and reacting.

That's actually something I've been wondering myself, I don't know if this desire is innately me or not. I has first discovered this type of lifestyle through porn and at the time I was weirded out by it, and didn't have much interest. It wasn't until a few years later when I stumbled across an HW erotic story that I was really taken by it. I did have a sense of guilt about being aroused, but then I was also curious why I liked it so much and ended up finding some sexual forums that had a lot of guys talking about why they loved it a lot. Some of the reasons they did resonated with me, like "Wanting to see the woman they adore overcome with sexual bliss", others didn't, like the whole "letting friends take their car for a test drive" I find analogies like that disgusting, but I digress.

I still struggled with the desires but I was simultaneously enthralled with it. I'd avoid bringing it up in any past relationships and would try to minimize engagement with the kink while dating, though that never worked for long though. It wasn't until last year, after reading about what a lot of women thought about the kink and lifestyle, that I tried to "reset" my sexual arousal template by abstaining from the kink, sex and masturbation altogether, and that lasted all of about 2 months, during which my libido and sexual desires tanked. But having come back, it's as if my desire for this lifestyle never really left, actually it has grown sort of.. So I don't know if I just didn't stop for long enough or if this is my natural predilection and if so, I wonder why I was turned off from it at the beginning.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you know your husband had these types of desires? Was he just never jealous or did you catch him looking at something early on in the relationship? Also, what was his thoughts when he first discovered he found the Hotwife kink appealing, I wonder if he had any inner turmoil in the beginning.

Yeah, I think telling them early on before getting serious is likely the best bet, but how would one even go about bringing it up without scaring them off? I guess it's just about being sincere and some will be open to it and others won't. I'd just really hate to click with someone and have the HW desire be the reason we weren't able to be together.

So regarding the women on the other forums thing, I was also wondering if they were just sort of saving face in regards to being turned off by the idea of sex with a third party while in a committed relationship, but I mean most of them were more or less anonymously responding, so I don't know why they wouldn't be inclined to tell the truth on threads regarding the topic.

Sorry for rambling on so much, I don't really have anyone to more practically talk to about this! I definitely have to look at your story thread read about how you and your hubby have traversed the lifestyle!

[Subolko84]

I have 3 questions and I would really appreciate your honest answers.
1. What kind of aftercare do you provide for your husband
2. I know for most husbands aftercare is extremely important, how important is it for the Hotwife
3. If aftercare is important for you (Hotwife) what kind is the best.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Subolko84.