Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[2inUPMichigan]

Just a friendly reminder that this is not a discussion thread, this is a question and answer thread only.

Any posts that are not "Ask a Hotwife" questions and direct answers to those questions can be deleted without warning.

[FvilleAR]

Question for HWs:

Is there anyone from your past that you still feel “strongly” about? Your first love or an ex-boyfriend that you were head over heels in love with...

Would you allow yourself to become FWB with them or rule them out because it could become emotionally dangerous?

[2inUPMichigan]

Question for HWs:

Is there anyone from your past that you still feel “strongly” about? Your first love or an ex-boyfriend that you were head over heels in love with...

Would you allow yourself to become FWB with them or rule them out because it could become emotionally dangerous?

I feel strongly about my ex, but not in the way you mean Wouldn't want him to get anywhere near me! For me an ex is an ex for a reason. A past relationship will stay in the past.

I have no interest in looking backwards.

[SSQ]

Question for HWs:

Is there anyone from your past that you still feel “strongly” about? Your first love or an ex-boyfriend that you were head over heels in love with...

Would you allow yourself to become FWB with them or rule them out because it could become emotionally dangerous?

I don't think emotions are dangerous. I think you may be coming at this from the wrong angle. Just because you have feelings for someone doesn't make things "dangerous". What is dangerous is not recognizing that feelings happen regardless of rules, and trying to proceed with the idea that artificial constraints will make everything safe. That's not how this works. You can meet someone and catch feels on the very first meet- it's happened to me.

So to me, the premise of your post doesn't make sense. I don't worry about "allowing" myself to date people I have had strong emotional attachments to. That being said, at this juncture, there is no one from my past that I would be interested in dating again unless there was a pretty dramatic change in who they are.

If your whole concept is to have sport fucking only and avoid any hint of emotional attachment, then I would either just stick to swingers' clubs (and even then it's a non zero risk) or stay in the realm of fantasy. This is one thing you cannot know what will happen until it happens, and then it's too late. It's one thing to say you'll end a relationship because you caught feels, it's quite another to put yourself through that heartbreak. Some things in life, you don't know how you'll feel until you're already there and whatever plans you made won't make sense anymore.

Artificial rules and constraints won't keep your marriage safe. You can fall in love with people in your vanilla life at any point even if you stay monogamous. What keeps your marriage strong is open and honest communication about wants and needs, genuinely listening to each other, and being the partners who genuinely want to make each other happy.

[Farmgirl]

Question for HWs:

Is there anyone from your past that you still feel “strongly” about? Your first love or an ex-boyfriend that you were head over heels in love with...

Would you allow yourself to become FWB with them or rule them out because it could become emotionally dangerous?

I'm married to and am still in love with my first love.
I don't believe emotional connections are dangerous. Throughout life, we all have several different emotional connections that we manage quite well, no reason for this to be different.
I believe if you want the best wife, be the best husband, and vice versa.

[feetuji]

Hi girls, here is a question: IF you enjoy seeing your husband beeing dominated by your other partners, or if you enjoy watching bissexual play with your husband and other(s) whats the most exciting things for you to watch? Thanks

[solstice]

To follow up on the covid debate I turned to the miscellaneous thread and I never got passed the delightful questionnaire by Mrs Truckstar on men giving blowjobs and found myself reminiscing on the added value the ladies bring to this forum: Who but that delightfully sexy lady would use latin to emphasize her point?
(Your version of Falstaff = "the whole world a hoax" maybe a slip of the keyboard "Tutto nel mondo e burla" - everything in the world's a folly.

I have Falstaff saying to the wives in Verdi "Lac vobis, Sict et illud set in mondo"
Suck like it means the world to you.)
Has Mrs Truckstar now left this forum?
We are still blessed by the ladies that have stayed the course, I will not name them, as I would invariably leave out some of the gems.

[2inUPMichigan]

To follow up on the covid debate I turned to the miscellaneous thread and I never got passed the delightful questionnaire by Mrs Truckstar on men giving blowjobs and found myself reminiscing on the added value the ladies bring to this forum: Who but that delightfully sexy lady would use latin to emphasize her point?
(Your version of Falstaff = "the whole world a hoax" maybe a slip of the keyboard "Tutto nel mondo e burla" - everything in the world's a folly.

I have Falstaff saying to the wives in Verdi "Lac vobis, Sict et illud set in mondo"
Suck like it means the world to you.)
Has Mrs Truckstar now left this forum?
We are still blessed by the ladies that have stayed the course, I will not name them, as I would invariably leave out some of the gems.

She hasn't been active since 2017

[MaisieB]

Hi, new to the site & loving it. Hotwife for 6 years now, with a wonderful cucky hubby. Feel free to ask this Hotwife anything & I promise to answer xx

[Farmgirl]

Hi, new to the site & loving it. Hotwife for 6 years now, with a wonderful cucky hubby. Feel free to ask this Hotwife anything & I promise to answer xx

MaisieB welcome to our site.
To be able to answer questions on this thread, you have to be a VHW, Verified HotWife. You can contact armyguyot1 for the verification process.
We VHWs can be recognized by our bright blue names, other than 2inUP and her's is bright gold.

[Adabel]

I have started talking with a few potential playmates online. I am just starting out as a hotwife and still learning. One thing I am struggling with that I am hoping others will have some ideas on or share what they do.

So before meeting a guy for a play date I want to get to know them first via chatting online and text. Then meet for a non play meeting to see a couple of thing; one make sure they match their pictures they shared, that they can still communicate in person not just via text, and if there is a connection in person.

Here is where I struggle, I don't want to always meet for drinks in a bar. I tried meeting at a coffee shop but since there were lots of people and even kids it felt uncomfortable talking about sex and expectations. But I want to first meet in a more public safe space. So where do you do meet and greets?

We have just started as well. It has taken us a little while to get to where we are at. We have finally met someone and believe we are a good fit. Our first meeting we went bowling...lol Now when we meet its my husband and I both meeting the potential play partner. I really like this because to me it's important for it not to feel like a "interview " and more just us hanging out. We both got one on one time with him and talked about anything and everything. Now the alley we went to was a nice one where it has a very nice restaurant and bar inside. So after the ice was broken with a game or 2 we went to the restaurant and had a bite to eat and a drink or so. This actually works very well for us. I think it's also a good out if you don't really click because you're not trying get through dinner awkwardly.

[CurvyNerdMILF]

My husband and I are considering hotwifing. I am very concerned about both STDs and pregnancy. My husband has had a vasectomy, so we haven’t thought about birth control in a while. I’m really sensitive and had a very bad experience with an IUD that was inserted without softening the strings. I’m slightly traumatized by that. The sensation of a diaphragm isn’t right for me or my husband. And my health makes hormones a non-option.

My questions are: (1) how many bulls are put off by requiring condoms? (2) is it common for bulls to have had vasectomies? (3) what types of STD testing routines have you put in place for yourselves and potential partners? Coming to this after 16 years of monogamy makes these questions feel important.

[2inUPMichigan]

My husband and I are considering hotwifing. I am very concerned about both STDs and pregnancy. My husband has had a vasectomy, so we haven’t thought about birth control in a while. I’m really sensitive and had a very bad experience with an IUD that was inserted without softening the strings. I’m slightly traumatized by that. The sensation of a diaphragm isn’t right for me or my husband. And my health makes hormones a non-option.

My questions are: (1) how many bulls are put off by requiring condoms? (2) is it common for bulls to have had vasectomies? (3) what types of STD testing routines have you put in place for yourselves and potential partners? Coming to this after 16 years of monogamy makes these questions feel important.

I always insist on condoms, that is non-negotiable for me and I have it in my profile. I have men that contact me because I always play that way. Any man that is put off by your requirements is just not a good match (it's that simple). At the recommendation of my GYN I get tested twice a year. Some men will put in their profiles that they are "V- safe" which may give you more peace of mind.
You can definitely ask men about their testing. Some people ask to see test results.
I am past the point where pregnancy is possible so that I can't really answer.

[CurvyNerdMILF]

Next question from my newbie mind for VHWs whose outsized libido drives or contributes to the HW decision: Do any of you know if there is a physical reason for your perpetual horniness?

When I was single, I had a slut phase that was caused by Wellbutrin. I already had a high libido, but it was bursting out on that medication. It’s now used to actually treat low libido in women.

In the time since then, I’m definitely the partner who is hornier in my marriage. And then, recently, I had a concussion in an auto accident. While most of the articles online talk about low sexual interest and sexual dysfunctions following a traumatic brain injury, some combination of hormonal changes, trauma reactions, and just plain having more time on my hands (since I can’t work full-time yet) have made me a wanton slut. My husband and I have been having sex as many as three times in 24 hours, and often twice a day.

I clearly have psychological motivations, too. I just plain love sensual pleasures of all kinds. And I love pleasing men and knowing I can bring them at least some of the bliss I get from sex (I’m convinced that part of my husband’s interest in seeing me with other men at some point soon is that no man can reach the heights of a highly responsive, multiorgasmic woman like me). Of course, I also crave the affirmation of men finding visual and sexual delight in my body.

But I think it is clear from talking to other women I know that my desire for sex is just WAY higher than average. How does that resonate with VFWs?

[Farmgirl]

My husband and I are considering hotwifing. I am very concerned about both STDs and pregnancy. My husband has had a vasectomy, so we haven’t thought about birth control in a while. I’m really sensitive and had a very bad experience with an IUD that was inserted without softening the strings. I’m slightly traumatized by that. The sensation of a diaphragm isn’t right for me or my husband. And my health makes hormones a non-option.

My questions are: (1) how many bulls are put off by requiring condoms? (2) is it common for bulls to have had vasectomies? (3) what types of STD testing routines have you put in place for yourselves and potential partners? Coming to this after 16 years of monogamy makes these questions feel important.

(1) It doesn't matter if some "bulls" are put off by condoms, it only matters what you want.
(2) It is common for men to have vasectomies, or not. One of those things to cover on the meet-up, or in texting.
(3) I don't ask for testing. I get to know my guys and trust them before having sex.

There is no right or wrong answer to your questions, it is what makes you comfortable. 2inUP uses condoms, I do not. Neither of us is right or wrong, we're both doing what is comfortable and right for ourselves.

Next question from my newbie mind for VHWs whose outsized libido drives or contributes to the HW decision: Do any of you know if there is a physical reason for your perpetual horniness?

When I was single, I had a slut phase that was caused by Wellbutrin. I already had a high libido, but it was bursting out on that medication. It’s now used to actually treat low libido in women.

In the time since then, I’m definitely the partner who is hornier in my marriage. And then, recently, I had a concussion in an auto accident. While most of the articles online talk about low sexual interest and sexual dysfunctions following a traumatic brain injury, some combination of hormonal changes, trauma reactions, and just plain having more time on my hands (since I can’t work full-time yet) have made me a wanton slut. My husband and I have been having sex as many as three times in 24 hours, and often twice a day.

I clearly have psychological motivations, too. I just plain love sensual pleasures of all kinds. And I love pleasing men and knowing I can bring them at least some of the bliss I get from sex (I’m convinced that part of my husband’s interest in seeing me with other men at some point soon is that no man can reach the heights of a highly responsive, multiorgasmic woman like me). Of course, I also crave the affirmation of men finding visual and sexual delight in my body.

But I think it is clear from talking to other women I know that my desire for sex is just WAY higher than average. How does that resonate with VFWs?

I wouldn't say that I'm perpetually horny, I just really like sex. And, I love enjoying the variety of extra men . My Number1 can do everything I like and more except for the variety that makes it so naughty . And, I do love being naughty!

[Salen]

My wife and me are Muslim any advice on how to convince her to be a hotwife ? I talked to her about it and she totally refused the idea .

[MsMsld-1]

My wife and me are Muslim any advice on how to convince her to be a hotwife ? I talked to her about it and she totally refused the idea .

Maybe remember the old adage that no means no. By all means have discussions if she’s willing to listen but in the end it’s Her body and Her choice.

MsM’s ld

[Lookingforadventure]

Next question from my newbie mind for VHWs whose outsized libido drives or contributes to the HW decision: Do any of you know if there is a physical reason for your perpetual horniness?

I didn't really realize that I had a hyper sex drive until I started actually talking about sex with other people. When I realized that I had and wanted sex more than most other women, it was a bit embarrassing at first, but now I've embraced it. In my case, I think there is partly a mental reason behind it. I grew up with a conservative mindset about sex. After bottling things up for so many years, all of that desire and passion needs to go somewhere. I'm making up for lost time.

But there is a physical element to it too. Based on my very limited research, I think that I orgasm more easily and more frequently than most women. It is a chicken and the egg situation. I'm not sure which comes first: if you have a high sex drive, does that make you enjoy sex more and therefore orgasm more frequently? Or when your body is primed to achieve sexual pleasure easily, does it increase your sex drive and make you want more?

[SSQ]

Next question from my newbie mind for VHWs whose outsized libido drives or contributes to the HW decision: Do any of you know if there is a physical reason for your perpetual horniness?

I didn't really realize that I had a hyper sex drive until I started actually talking about sex with other people. When I realized that I had and wanted sex more than most other women, it was a bit embarrassing at first, but now I've embraced it. In my case, I think there is partly a mental reason behind it. I grew up with a conservative mindset about sex. After bottling things up for so many years, all of that desire and passion needs to go somewhere. I'm making up for lost time.

But there is a physical element to it too. Based on my very limited research, I think that I orgasm more easily and more frequently than most women. It is a chicken and the egg situation. I'm not sure which comes first: if you have a high sex drive, does that make you enjoy sex more and therefore orgasm more frequently? Or when your body is primed to achieve sexual pleasure easily, does it increase your sex drive and make you want more?

No, it definitely has something to do with hormones. When I was in my teens and twenties, I could basically orgasm in a good stiff breeze. It actually confused me for a while if I was actually having orgasms since societal conditioning says it's so difficult for women to cum, I didn't actually believe it. I made it into my thirties and still lots and lots of orgasms. I'm 38 now, and for about the last five years I've noticed that my ability to cum quite that much has declined. I mean, I'm still very multi orgasmic but before I had partners clock me at over 100 orgasms in a day. I can't do anything like that anymore and I've noticed my sensitivity has lowered as well.

It's annoying, but I tried describing it to my doctors and because I'm still at the high end of the range of normal, they say there isn't much they can do for me. I'm not quite sure they believe me when I tell them how much I used to orgasm. I was given a topical cream but if I use that then my partner can't go down on me so it's not all that useful. So, now I try to focus on quality over quantity. I do believe I've had some bigger orgasms than I used to have in my twenties, so there's that at least.

[Lookingforadventure]

Next question from my newbie mind for VHWs whose outsized libido drives or contributes to the HW decision: Do any of you know if there is a physical reason for your perpetual horniness?

I didn't really realize that I had a hyper sex drive until I started actually talking about sex with other people. When I realized that I had and wanted sex more than most other women, it was a bit embarrassing at first, but now I've embraced it. In my case, I think there is partly a mental reason behind it. I grew up with a conservative mindset about sex. After bottling things up for so many years, all of that desire and passion needs to go somewhere. I'm making up for lost time.

But there is a physical element to it too. Based on my very limited research, I think that I orgasm more easily and more frequently than most women. It is a chicken and the egg situation. I'm not sure which comes first: if you have a high sex drive, does that make you enjoy sex more and therefore orgasm more frequently? Or when your body is primed to achieve sexual pleasure easily, does it increase your sex drive and make you want more?

No, it definitely has something to do with hormones. When I was in my teens and twenties, I could basically orgasm in a good stiff breeze. It actually confused me for a while if I was actually having orgasms since societal conditioning says it's so difficult for women to cum, I didn't actually believe it. I made it into my thirties and still lots and lots of orgasms. I'm 38 now, and for about the last five years I've noticed that my ability to cum quite that much has declined. I mean, I'm still very multi orgasmic but before I had partners clock me at over 100 orgasms in a day. I can't do anything like that anymore and I've noticed my sensitivity has lowered as well.

It's annoying, but I tried describing it to my doctors and because I'm still at the high end of the range of normal, they say there isn't much they can do for me. I'm not quite sure they believe me when I tell them how much I used to orgasm. I was given a topical cream but if I use that then my partner can't go down on me so it's not all that useful. So, now I try to focus on quality over quantity. I do believe I've had some bigger orgasms than I used to have in my twenties, so there's that at least.

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Say it ain't so! Those dang hormones.

But yes, quality over quantity is important.

[Happycuck48126]

How strange is it for a wife to initiate a cuckold relationship. I'm so excited about the new dynamic but I wonder when she decided this is what she wants. I'm fully supportive of her choices and wants. But now I wonder if my love making has ever been enough for the women I've been with, or has my wife's needs simple went beyond what I can supply. Or is she simply wanting more and knows I'll always be with her. So many questions. Thanks for the help.

[Kate88]

How strange is it for a wife to initiate a cuckold relationship. I'm so excited about the new dynamic but I wonder when she decided this is what she wants. I'm fully supportive of her choices and wants. But now I wonder if my love making has ever been enough for the women I've been with, or has my wife's needs simple went beyond what I can supply. Or is she simply wanting more and knows I'll always be with her. So many questions. Thanks for the help.

hey I read an article a while ago with some statistics. I can't remember the exact numbers but in situations where the woman initiates an open relationship then most likely she's already having sex with another man. So it may not apply in your case but your wife was probably seeing someone when she initiated it with you.

[Seamonster669]

Hi all you beautiful hotwives. I’m a guy on the young side of things, and have had trouble meeting hotwife couples on swinger sites. I was just wondering if you all could give me any tips for how to start off in this lifestyle and attract the kind of sexually liberated women I’m looking for. I’m 23 and have found that people tend to judge me because if this and discount me. Is there any way around this or am I just looking in the wrong places?

[2inUPMichigan]

Hi all you beautiful hotwives. I’m a guy on the young side of things, and have had trouble meeting hotwife couples on swinger sites. I was just wondering if you all could give me any tips for how to start off in this lifestyle and attract the kind of sexually liberated women I’m looking for. I’m 23 and have found that people tend to judge me because if this and discount me. Is there any way around this or am I just looking in the wrong places?

Welcome to OHW Seamonster669

As someone who looks for play dates exclusively online I think swinger sites are a good place to start. Your age can be both an asset and a negative depending on who is searching.
However there are definitely things you can do to present yourself in a positive light in order to attract the attention of hotwives and their husbands.

Don't lead with a dick pic - you can have one in a private gallery that you open on request but having one in your public pics can give the impression that your entire focus is.....well, on your dick

Be sure to have a smiling face pic available - if not in your public pics then open it when you contact someone.

Have something to talk about that is interesting (be able to hold a conversation) - I said no to several younger men because of this!

Fill out your profile - if a profile says that he wants to "meet like minded people for nsa sex" that tells me nothing about the man or what he would be like on a play date.

Be charming, be positive, be engaging and enthusiastic and maybe just a bit eager to meet

Good luck

[Seamonster669]

Thank you for taking the time this was really helpful.