Hot Women in Western Civilization

[edwardbare]

This is not the usual kind of story, but a discussion based on my academic specialty: the history of ideas. The idea I explore here is one seldom explored: the popularity of the idea of faithless wives in western culture. I hope it will be welcome in this forum.

Those of us who love hotwives are sometimes made to feel that we are distinctly weird exceptions in a world of possessive males. Standard thought says that faithless women are the ultimate threat to men. Frequently we read of possessive men crazed by women who have left them to be with other men murdering their exes, and sometimes their new partners and even their children, often then killing themselves.

But it is likely that most men are not so much enraged at the thought of “cheating” women as titillated by them—especially if the wife in question is somebody else’s. The traditional view is that stories of faithless wives are meant to illustrate the horrible things that happen to women who cheat and the suffering of men with faithless wives. But many of the popular stories men have enjoyed throughout the centuries have a very different slant.

Literature’s most famous faithless wife was Helen of Troy. Let’s set aside for the time being that Homer actually depicts her as being kidnapped by Paris rather than seduced, and even more strikingly that she is often blamed for causing the Trojan War.

But in Homer Menelaus does not seek to kill his wife—only to fetch her home. In the “Odyssey” Odysseus encounters her safe at his side. She tries to depict herself in a positive light, though that is undermined by a counter-story depicting her as a traitor. But interestingly Menelaus still seems to want her by his side.

She is an object of fascination, not only to Odysseus, but to people ever since. The famously nonmonogamous Sappho wrote of her as an example of the supreme power of love:

Some say a host of horsemen, others of infantry and others
   of ships, is the most beautiful thing on the dark earth
   but I say, it is what you love
Full easy it is to make this understood of one and all: for
   she that far surpassed all mortals in beauty, Helen her
   most noble husband
Deserted, and went sailing to Troy, with never a thought for
   her daughter and dear parents.

Other ancient writers claim she never went to Troy (see “Helen” by Euripides). It’s hard to deny that many men felt strong sympathy for her and pushed back against the view that she was the ultimate bad woman.

In various places in ancient Greece religious cults were actually devoted to the worship of Helen as a goddess. The 4th BCE poet Theocritus depicts a cult of Spartan women celebrating her marriage to Menelaus, quite ignoring her later unfaithfulness:

We first a crown of low-growing lotus
having woven will place it on a shady plane-tree.
First from a silver oil-flask soft oil
drawing we will let it drip beneath the shady plane-tree.
Letters will be carved in the bark, so that someone passing by
may read in Doric: "Reverence me. I am Helen's tree.”

Helen as female role model? Evidently for some people that made sense.



She has continued to be an object of fascination rather than disgust for centuries. In 1864, while Queen Victoria was the loving wife role model for British women, the French composer Jacques Offenbach’s operetta “La Belle Hélène” depicts her husband as a dolt and celebrates in a happy ending Helen’s flight with Paris facilitated by Venus, the goddess of sexual love, not known for her own faithfulness.



We are prone to think of women of the past as the less sexual of the two genders, needing to be awakened by men’s passions and strongly preferring quiet domesticity to sexual adventurousness. This misconception is the influence of the stereotypical image of the Victorian era, especially in the Anglo-Saxon world. But historically the image of women’s sexuality was far different.

Even in extremely male-dominated ancient Greece, men liked to think of women as lustful. Although the theme of Aristophanes’ “Lysistrata” is a sex strike by women to halt a war, the woman are depicted as being very reluctant to withhold their favors, resorting to dildos to satisfy themselves while on strike.


It’s not likely that women in past societies were really more sexual than men, but they were often depicted that way. Stern laws controlling them were justified by their passionate natures. It titillated men’s imaginations to think that most women wanted sex even more than they did.

In the Middle Ages the great love stories mostly belong to adulterous couples—Tristan and Isolde, Lancelot and Guinevere being the best known. Marriage among the upper classes was usually about status, power, and property and had little to do with love, The concept of “courtly love” in which married women flirted with and sometimes slept with single men evolved partly to serve the frustrated romantic longings of upper-class readers. Dante Alighieri turns his frustrated passion for the married Beatrice into a sort of religious ecstasy (in this case although she denies him physically she welcomes him spiritually—after death).

Even a women author like Madame de Lafayette depicts women’s passions as powerful (though ultimately resistible) in her 1678 masterpiece ‘La Princesse de Clèves.” Her love for another man causes her husband’s death, and she is then tempted to join her beloved, but their union is frustrated by her guilty conscience—not lack of desire.

But the dominant relevant theme in literature is cuckoldry: the subject of great numbers of comic works—not tragic ones. The cuckold is depicted as a pathetic comic character, often shown only getting what he deserves. The traditional way of viewing all this is that it serves as a warning to men to watch over their untrustworthy wives and keep them on a short leash.

But another way to view these stories is from the point of view of a potential male lover: women all want it—even married ones: the husband is a fool, the lover triumphant. The world is full of women just itching to get it on with somebody else.

In Machiavelli’s 1518 play “Mandragola” the doltish husband is tricked into allowing the lustful Callimaco to have sex with his wife Lucrezia, who is initially reluctant but finally accepts him as her lover on an ongoing basis. Several musical versions of the story have been created in modern times, and two film versions exist, the most recent from 2008 titled “The Mandrake Root.”

In the third book of François Rabelais’ “Gargantua and Pantagruel,” published in 1546, it is repeatedly argued and demonstrated to Panurge, who desperately wants to wed, that no matter who he marries he will inevitably be a cuckold. Marriage and cuckoldry are synonymous. Clearly we are not meant to take this seriously, but equally clearly it was an exciting fantasy for many men.

In Geoffrey Chaucer’s “Miller’s Tale” (from “The Canterbury Tales”) the married heroine is at first insulted when a single man grabs her by the cunt (spelled “queynte” in the original), but quickly accedes to his desires. In this wild and extremely crude comedy the jealous husband is ridiculed and the lovers are triumphant.

In Shakespeare’s day cuckolds were depicted as wearing horns. In his “Much Ado About Nothing” it is repeatedly asserted by Benedick that to be married is to be cuckolded. Although the play has a happy ending in which there is every reason to believe that Beatrice will be faithful to him, clearly the audience was tickled by thinking about marriage being synonymous with cuckoldry.



In contrast, Othello goes from denial to credulity when Iago tricks him into believing his wife has betrayed him. The villain plants the idea by seemingly warning him against it:

Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on. The cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger.



Modern discussions of this topic are prone to emphasize their “problematic” nature, and indeed they are generally quite insulting to women.

But the underlying desire of men to believe that married women long lustfully for adventure is clearly evident in them. We may think better of women than these long-ago writers—I certainly hope we do—but they remind us that the desirability a hot wife is not a modern invention.

[edwardbare]

I meant to title this "Hot Wives in Western Civilization.” Is there any way to fix that?

[Long Lurker 34]

Recently watched a show from National Geographic about another attempt to determine what happened to Amelia Earhartd. Good show, anyway apparently on the day of her wedding (not wearing white), she handed her new, much older, husband an envelope.

The letter within boldly stated that she gave him absolute and complete freedom to be with others and to not expect her to remain faithful either. Nothing like straight to the point and while not exactly in line with your post, sort of overlapping I suppose.

[wulfenus]

I'd say originally the goal with fidelity for the wife was to preserve the bloodline of families, especially of royal/leadership families.
From that, with the evolution of marrying for love, the idea of a wife straying could take on a different meaning.

If cheating was the norm, and yes I think it occurs more than we think, then it wouldnt be as exciting, perhaps?

I meant to title this "Hot Wives in Western Civilization.” Is there any way to fix that?

[CurvyNerdMILF]

In the Jewish Bible (Old Testament, for Christian folks), the prophetic book of Hosea usually gets overlooked. In it, the prophet is taught about God’s enduring love of the Israelites, despite their chasing after false gods, by being forced to marry a woman named Gomer, who sleeps around and is hopelessly slutty. Hosea does learn unconditional love, as well as that women respond better to having a partner who is their “man” rather than their “master” (which is the same as the word for husband in Hebrew).

The Rabbis were up in arms about this story. Generally, apologists say that the marriage is either a vision or dream. They are particularly troubled because of the contrast between this book and the laws of adulterous wives (and those suspected of adultery) in the Torah itself. However, I have found it deeply meaningful to look at this as a tale about love that is true, deep, and not possessive. In fact, words from the book are recited by those who put on phylacteries (tefillin) in weekday mornings, imagined to be like a wedding ring binding the wearer to God (who wears a metaphorical set marrying Them to the Israelites, in return).

[hornedhubby]

Probably eight years ago, I started a thread called Hotwives in History. Hopefully this thread will have better legs. It's a great subject.

CurvyNerdMILF brings up the Bible. My favorite Old Testament hotwife is Bathsheeba, whose rooftop bathing antics caught the eye of King David. David arranged a play date, enjoyed Bathsheeba's pagan pussy and then sent her hubby to death in battle. Bathsheeba became one of David's wives and the mother of Soloman. So the story goes.

There is better historical documentation concerning Theodora, empress wife of Justinian in the 6th century heyday of Byzantium. A commoner by birth, Theodora was the subject of some scandal, accused by some of being a prostitute or, even worse, a woman who enjoyed her pleasure well. In any case, Justinian was smitten. Theodora became an influential advisor of clever and decisive character. She died young and was made a Saint of the Orthodox Church.

Another pair of favorites would be Eleanor of Acquitaine and Catherine the Great. Definitely two of the hottest monarchs of history. I've a weakness for powerful women.

[Understanding Man]

One might also mention two of Western Literature's greatest hotwives, Anna Karaenia and Emma Bovary (aka, Madame Bovary). If you actually read these books, they deal with the husbands' cuckoldary in a very erotic way. I truly believe that's what made them so scandalous in their day.