rspanked wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 5:51 pm
LawyerWouldbeCuckold wrote: ↑Tue Dec 28, 2021 1:15 pm
Connecticut_couple wrote: ↑Tue Dec 28, 2021 1:02 pm
LawyerWouldbeCuckold wrote: ↑Tue Dec 28, 2021 12:54 pm
I fully agree, even though I've never been married, much less been a part of this lifestyle. And I suppose there might be things that keep a marriage together (shared values, children, a number of years or decades together, shared memories and experiences over the course of years or decades, a deep and loving friendship, and no desire to go back on the hunt for single people), but I think anything taken to an extreme cannot be healthy. Over the course of years of being denied sex, it's not hard for me to envision a situation where 1) the wife loses all respect for her husband, 2) the husband loses respect for the wife, and given that they have detached physically, then, eventually, they detach emotionally. On paper, they might be husband and wife, but in reality they are simply friends/roommates of the opposite gender.
If you don't mind, help me understand why you follow and post on this forum if you don't seem to be involved in the lifestyle even in part, paraphrasing the first line in your comment. It seems to make things clearer to me though why you don't seem to understand why the majority of people in this community feel and act differently than you. Maybe there is a forum elsewhere that you might feel more of an affinity to. I can say from my own experience, and I'm sure many other would agree, things evolve over time with our spouses in many different directions, sexually and otherwise. I'm not sure if you have a committed partner but you stated you aren't married. If you do have a long term partner, you might have experienced changes over time. If you don't have a long term partner, and maybe never had one, I can see even more why you continue to have trouble envisioning things related to this lifestyle.
I follow and post on this forum because I have been interested in this lifestyle for many, many years. I do have a committed partner; and at one point, we discussed this sort of lifestyle, and she indicated she had experience with it previously. But as I got to know her more, it seemed like her experiences were more threesomes with two other men as opposed to cuckoldry. As I have gotten to know her better, I've gotten the feeling that she would not be "wired" for this lifestyle. It's nothing she has said or done specifically; it's just more a feeling than anything else.
You have a very valid observation when you indicate "If you don't have a long term partner, and maybe never had one, I can see even more why you continue to have trouble envisioning things related to this lifestyle", and your point about "things evolve over time with our spouses in many different directions, sexually and otherwise", is, from the point of someone who is married like yourself, even more valid and valuable. Another reason I follow and post on this forum is that I've learned a great, great deal from the other people who post here, and I consider that knowledge invaluable.
And just as there are infinite shades of gray, there are probably infinite combinations of a marriage/marital relationship.
Nevertheless, I still agree with a previously poster who indicated that such a relationship, (permanently denied sex) is not healthy or sustainable for a marriage. JMHO.......
I don't understand how you(and other's) think giving an opinion on something you've never experienced, in a style of relationship you've never experienced, between any two people you don't know or understand isn't judgemental. How do people not understand that we all have very different lives, that create extremely different personalities with different kinks? What may seem to you to be strange or doomed to fail can be exciting for different people and can bring a couple closer together. Your generalized view of other people's relationships is absolutely judgemental and frankly without even having your own life experience on the topic, can come off as kind of obnoxious.
Just within my own life, I've had many different relationships where we interacted sexually with each other in different ways. I've been Dom, I've been sub. Cuckold, cuckquean, mmf, mff, spanked, been spanked. I haven't always been turned on by the same things, even while just masturbating on my own. My partner and I are excited by things I never could have imagined before...but at no point in any period of my life did I go on forums and give my opinion on other people's relationships or choices, because what I truly understand is that I have no idea what will work for one couple I don't know...much less a whole subsection of couples. If you don't get that a couple in love that practices pussy denial can be far more deeply connected than a couple that fucks three times a day...you really don't understand human beings at all and no one needs your opinion on their relationship.
You raise good points. It can be seen as judgmental, although I question your conclusion about "not having your own life experience on the topic".....I have (very little) experience with the consumption of alcohol, but if someone tells me they going to drink a bottle of champagne (or another intoxicating beverage) every night for a year, I don't think it's inappropriate to say "I'm not sure that is healthy or sustainable." (Alcohol has a lot of calories, and can be bad for someone's liver)
Nor do I think it is judgmental (although I'm sure it can come off this way) to state that anything taken to an extreme can be unhealthy.
I indeed agree with your statement that ".....a couple in love that practices pussy denial can be far more deeply connected than a couple that fucks three times a day...." ....but my question (not a judgment, by the way) is that "is that practice, long-term, healthy or sustainable for a marriage?"
I get that for some couples that it is. But I'm thinking out loud, "For how many couples is it not healthy or sustainable"?
But I also notice you did not address what one cuckoldress said to me years ago about that particular option: "You lose respect for the other person. The cuckold and his wife have detached physically, and they eventually detach emotionally." Now, she didn't say, and I certainly don't purport to claim, that that happens in all situations where there is no PIV.
Again, not a judgment. (although I can see that it could be interpreted that way)