Jane' adventure

[jrandmustang]

Wow, JH, that was an intense post. Probably instructional for any wannabes and even certified hotwife hubbies who haven't had the chance to actually watch -- and think they want to. It can be more than you bargain for. Or it can be everything you hoped for. You don't know until you experience it.

But that was a lot to absorb. First time to watch an entire encounter? In your own bedroom? Watching a guy casually undress in front of you, unfazed by any sense of weirdness. Then watching him take your wife bareback, without your prior agreement (but with her consent). Eventually, being instructed to leave the room. It sounds to me like Deron is familiar with classic cuckold fantasy. I am curious about what the three of you "talked" about in between sessions.

It's hard to tell whether this was a case of Jane and Deron exceeding your boundaries, or whether she's given you exactly what you thought you wanted, and it was more intense than you expected. And there would be nothing wrong with that, as long as you talk it out, admit to any hurt feelings, apologize for any harsh words, and figure out what (and when and if) you want to see happen in the future. Hang in there and keep communicating.

[Aynsley]

Hey JH,

Thanks for sharing.
WOW!!...or should I say... ummmm, wow

Beyond offering support, and echoing what JR and Mr. Bear said, I also
wanted to offer my $0.02.

so here goes...
as you two talk this adventure out, I hope you are BOTH able to identify,
and share with each other, what was HOT from Sunday Night
...and also what was NOT, as this will lead to better 'adventures' in the future.

From our experience, we are really getting to enjoy the positive 'triggers' that any
of our 'adventures' set off in the 'other'...as well as we have started to
also figure out the negative triggers that we want to stay away from, as we
know that's a 'no-fun' item for the other. However, we wouldn't have known
any of 'that', unless we had pushed some boundaries and learned from it.

Good Luck !!

[rypmar7]

Unfortunately, this scenario reminds me of one of the bad times with Lynda. She met a dominant guy that she thought was a jerk. He ended up wearing down her resistance until finally she had sex with him and she loved it. My thoughts and feelings were mostly ignored by both, as limits were pushed further and further. I became more of an ass-hole, which drove her to his understanding arms even more. We definitely had a communication breakdown.

Eventually, she moved out and moved in with him for 6 weeks. During that time I never saw her or heard from her. One day I came home from work and found her there crying, begging me to take her back. I hope you can come to some common ground and understanding and not even start down a similar path.

[Wifesharing]

Aynsley said it pretty well you need to step back and talk to each other and find your triggers.
This is hard because everyones triggers are didffernet, but it isimportant to know them. The thing is some bad triggers you will not identify until you have it done because sometimes you read things or think things are hot as hell but in realiality they are not for you. This creates mental blocks because after you sit there going wow that happened just like I invisioned why do I feel so sick to my stomache.

I have many slips of the tongue and my wife is eager to give me all my fantasies so i have to remind myself and her all the time that not everything I talk about I actually want to expearince as real.

Also the ignoring you as if you are not there if you are okay with that then fine but that is something that if not needs to be addressed for sure. You, do not want to let another man start to feel he has control over you two unless you want another guy to have control over you two.

[Rocketman]

Jane and JH,
I think your friends here have given you some good advice. I agree that it is time for a husband and hotwife communication session. You need to make sure that you two are on the same page. If you want this to be something you do toghether then you need to be together on where you are and where you are willing to let it go. Ms Rocket and I have been doing this for longer than some here have been married and we have learned a few things and being of the same mindset is very important.

Jane's new FB seems to have a plan and he is working it. At this point it looks like he is enjoying his role as is Jane but JH is not so sure. Let me tell you where this will go if he is allowed to take it there...he will keep pushing the envelope and continue to do things to show his control over Jane.(which can be very hot if that is what you want) He wanted her bare...he got her to do it and he wanted you to see it and he wanted her to tell you it was OK...and she did. The next evolution is for him to want to take her out and show her off to his friends as his slutty girlfriend...then before you know it she will be doing his friends bare. He will take Jane as far as she will let him with this. Is that what you both want? You need to find your comfort zone. Right now it appears that Jane and JH may be on different teams and Jane has joined her FBs team but it seems unlikely that this guy wants Jane on his team. He wants her to be his little married slut.

I am not trying to say any of this is bad. You need to decide what you want and where you want it to go. Once you get your comfort zone and are one the same page you can let it go where you want and not worry about hurt feelings or losing your marriage.

Rocketman

[NoWayInCT]

Each situation is different which is why this forum exists...to share, learn and, hopefully, adapt.

This is very similar to what I called the too fast too soon cabin weekend my wife, her FB and I planned. In short, we all went up on a Friday to a cabin and I was to watch and participate Friday into Saturday AM, then they would be alone until Sunday. Sounded great at the outset, but you can plan it out in your head all you want and things are going to change and one must either adapt or get out.

For me, I was extremely turned on by my sexy yet tentative wife...her FB was nervous so it was like gridlock through the afteroon and dinner. I was the one that actually got the sex dice game started and I was pleased to see the light fun we were having in the living room. Well, it went from there to them getting hot and heavy to them shutting the door to the bedroom and I could only hear him take her, then take her anally later...then she went to sleep with him. Again, I had many orgasms thinking about this very event, but the reality of it hit me hard: I was turned on, I was a tad humiliated, I was happy for her, I was jealous I was not built like her FB, I was mad because I am a voyeur at heart and seeing my wife's mannerisms, muscles and other parts in ecstasy was not to be seen.

Fast forward to Saturday morning, my wife is in my room playing with my very hard cock around 7 am when she hears the FB stirring in the Living Room...he didn't even sleep with her because he was used to being alone in what I call a loveless marriage himself...now I am getting myself worked up thinking he is disrespecting her...just using her for a fuck! (In hindsight, duh!!). She leaves my room to "their" room, leaves the door open a crack and I can see her head bobbing up and down on him, then she mounts him and they have a wonderful session...and I cum everywhere outside the door.

I am somewhat embarrassed by this and quickly clean up...why am I so turned on yet feel like my brain is betraying me? I leave and go home where I simply cook up all the negative thoughts and by Sunday AM, I am a lunatic wanting her to come home...so I call around 8 am, she answers and I say I want her home immediately and to stop all activities...then I ask what she is doing. Very casually and with emphasis she says "What do you think? I'm having sex with him". I blow up and rant and rave saying come home now and stop everything. She senses I am now a lunatic and says Okay.

She gets home a few hours later and we talk out everything and as I am talking I realize it's all me not accepting the role that I took years to develop through our communication and honesty. My wife did nothing that we had not talked about and it was simply me being insecure and not trusting her. The funny thing, after we had it out with some yelling, tears and hugs is she admitted that she went back to the bedroom to finish 69ing and then fucked him hard (or maybe he fucked her hard)...either way, I realized I had to adapt or stop, which she was okay with.

I adapted and our trust and love is better than it has ever been...I understand her needs and she mine...but, I had to evolve through the mind games my own mind was doing...I must say, my cock knew what it wanted the whole time!!!

I hope you and Jane understand that there is no way to plan or anticipate everything, but you can plan and anticipate talking with each other and respecting each other. Be honest with each other and I know as my wife's hubby, she needs some things I can't give her...but, it is me that she loves and comes home to each and every time. In fact, she is even allowing me to play with another lady on a small scale...so, she is adapting as well. Good luck as I have enjoyed both of your postings and the honesty...this is a fun lifestyle but one that must be tended to within the marriage...and you both seem to understand that.

[Matt2]

JH,

I watched my wife making out for our very first encounter. The entire thing was a breathtaking sight, right up to the point where she asked him to make love to her, which was a total shocker! He declined - why, I don't know - but it preserved my feelings. Her asking him for it was an issue I wrestled with for a time.

The night I first shared her completely was during an orgy with 2 other couples, so it wasn't what you might call "all that personal" because we were all within a few feet of each other. She made sure to ride me first, then crawled over and rode a man with the biggest dick I'd ever seen. Again, a breathtaking sight! It occurred to me later that she never orgasmed with any of us. We did, she didn't.

I was comparing all this to your encounter. Nothing was planned, it just happened after playing strip poker and wondering what to do next. It wasn't a "special" night. Neither of the men were dominants - like me they were there to see what would happen and we simply allowed things to go further and further (each had privately wanted a session with my wife for the last 8 years - old HS friends.)

"Big dick" spent the night with her in our bed while his wife and I shared the couch. Watching them exit the bedroom the next morning, walking hand and hand toward me (her in a nightgown) was a little much to handle. But that was the moment I realized my wife was now a liberated woman and I was quite happy for us.

One of these men became a frequent visitor (again, non-dom,) and it was all great stuff having MFMs together. It wasn't necessarily "them with me observing", with him we were all comfortable with 3-way involvement. We had known each other for years, but nonetheless I'm sure my wife still couldn't "let it all hang out" in my presence. They met occasionally when I was away, and in agreement. None of us ever considered condoms.

Finally, neither of these partners would have ever THOUGHT of asking me to leave, and it never dawned on me that it might be better for her enjoyment if I did. Talk about being unschooled in the art...

I always wanted to "be there", and with these few guys, I was.

Perhaps you can draw something from that.

[jane]

Things are a little better this week. I feel like the idea of sharing me turns my husband on, but watching it is something else. It's always seemed awkward picturing my husband there, and maybe that was the case after all. I don't know that we will do it again. maybe he'd be more comfortable with less of a "bull".
As for Deron, i really don't think he did anything totally out of line. He's been fairly resepectful with me. Of course, when we're together, even with my husband there, he does concentrate on me.
Thank you everyone for your support!

[Aynsley]

I feel like the idea of sharing me turns my husband on, but watching it is something else. It's always seemed awkward picturing my husband there, and maybe that was the case after all.

Hi Jane.
I can relate. Before we had our first MFM, Iris had me arrange to get her a sensuous
massage (including the happy ending).
Her thinking...she didn't know how she would feel, with me in the room with another guy,
while that 'guy' had his hands on her nakedness.
AND...she also was worried that I would not be as 'OK' with another man,
touching her in front of me, as I was saying I was.

She thought the 'massage' was a good way to do a 'test run' of those conditions,
and all went well.
So, 'Yeah', as others have said, 'experiencing it' can be different than imagining it,
at least until you get used to it.

Glad things are better.

[Wifesharing]

I think you are right Jane that your husband might need less of a 'Bull'. On the flip side I am not sure that deron did nothing out of line. He may show you respect but from what you posted in your first meeting with him and what JH said of him i don't see the respect level for either of you from him ofcourse this is only from what I read. Also there seems to be (maybe only from JH's view point) alot of verbal and mostly no-verbal communication of dominance coming from Deron and it comes off as dis-repect of both of you, too me. Again only from what has been written I would guess Deron is less of a true 'Bull' and more of wessle, I have a much higher standard to calling a man a true Dominate 'bull'.

Jane I love your stories and I think you are great and I love the interactions you share about your husabnd and you and hearing his view points, My opinion is that to simply brush it off and say husabnd can't take watching so i will just go it alone is missing something and dangerous.

[BallSpanking]

I think, please forgive me if I state the obvious, the problem is with the unprotected sex..., after 1 year absence.

Is this a settled matter between herself and Deron?
Because if it is, her husband appeared to be unaware of it.

Perhaps he would be fine with knowing whatever the arrangements are, but he has a complete right to know she, and he will be safe.

Let us not circumvent the point.
That is the point, from what I read, and a very fair point it is.

I promise I will contribute no further to this topic, as it is not my desire to offend anyone.

[Janes Husband]

There was a combination of factors that upset me. Probably most of all was watching. No condom was another. It's an issue, but not one that can't be overcome. But there were others i shouldn't get into. Ultimately i trust Jane, and i have some hangups.

[MrBrunetteBeth]

Jane and JH - I feel for you, I really do.

Please know that the difficult feelings that you are having will help you to have good conversations about how to handle things in the future so it is for the best.

I would like to pass on, that as hard as it is and I probably am not as there as I'd like to be, things go *SO* much better when I let go of things. I want Beth to have the best possible experience. That means she needs to not have any worries about how I am going to feel or react about what she does.

She should be able to do what she wants, with who she wants, where and whenever she wants it. If the guy is dominant and possessive or gentle and loving or treats her like a piece of ... if that is what she wants out of that experience then so be it! She is a mature adult who is trying things out and learning what she likes and I love just about every single thing it does for her and for us and our sex life.

So please just give each other a break and know that you will be better off for the experience.

Good luck

MrBB

[reese]

JH...simply put...there will never be calm...never be rest....never be a moment when it wont be in the back of your mind.
As you grow more accostomed to your gorgeous hotwife giving herself to other men....this lifestyle will become an obsession for you....no matter what is happening in your life at any given moment, the thoughts of her sexiness....the visions of watching her please her lover as they embrace in orgasm....you will become more obsessed with all of this.
Right now, it is difficult for you, to watch her with another man can be devastating.
You may question your motives...question your manliness...but in the end, your libido will keep pushing you and encouraging you to allow what is unfolding right before your eyes to continue!

Communicate my friend! Do not hold back!
I compliment you for being able to express your feelings to Jane.

I am here for your support!

[Arctus]

I'm not sure how to respond to JH's and Jane's reports. So many interesting, provocative and supportive responses already. From my perspective, ideally a primary goal of HWing is to enhance the intimacy between husband and wife. Of course, there are many other possible motivators (e.g., the HW's sexual pleasure, some husbands' desire to be humiliated/cuckolded, etc.). But if HWing doesn't lead to enhanced intimacy between the primary couple, then it's hard to conceive how it would be good within a marriage. Jane, it sounds like your husband tried to share the experience with you by helping you get ready for your date with Deron before you went to the hotel room and then by watching you and Deron on Sunday evening. Somehow, it seems that the two of you need to figure out how to make sure there is something in all of this for both of you and that the activities bring you closer together, not create distance. There is a razor's edge of eroticism with HWing. And part of that razor's edge is the distance created and feelings of jealousy that can be created by introduction of the Third to the primary relationship. But the razor's edge should cut erotic, not pure pain. Eroticism draws together. Emotional pain can create distance.

Anyway, best to both of you individually and as a couple!

[Janes Husband]

Jane talked to Deron a couple times this week. She's probably going to see him this weekend. I'm okay with it, but i won't watch the next time. I know it needs to be left up to her who she plays with.
She's also going to meet another guy this weekend, just to see if he's her type. Things are better between us, and the issues with us were on me really.

[BallSpanking]

JH...simply put...there will never be calm...never be rest....never be a moment when it wont be in the back of your mind.
As you grow more accostomed to your gorgeous hotwife giving herself to other men....this lifestyle will become an obsession for you....no matter what is happening in your life at any given moment, the thoughts of her sexiness....the visions of watching her please her lover as they embrace in orgasm....you will become more obsessed with all of this.
Right now, it is difficult for you, to watch her with another man can be devastating.
You may question your motives...question your manliness...but in the end, your libido will keep pushing you and encouraging you to allow what is unfolding right before your eyes to continue!

Communicate my friend! Do not hold back!
I compliment you for being able to express your feelings to Jane.

I am here for your support!

Right on Mr Reese!

[MichaelW]

JH, in a marriage as the husband you do have rights, and if you are sharing your wife with another man you should expect certain things from the experience--in particular a certain amount of respect from both your wife and her lover.

One way that respect can be showing is in particular use of condoms. If she's potentially fertile, that is not hot or sexy--that's just plain stupid.

If the lover has not been tested and given proof of that (lovers will lie you know), that's way up there on the stupid scale too.

It is not a matter of sexy or not, it is a matter of safety. Your safety. The lover gives your wife an STD, and you're having sex with your wife, then guess what? You get an STD.

One has to keep in mind that a lot of the crap posted in forums such as these is pure fantasy. Advice here is nothing but opinions, and anyone with a computer has an opinion. That doesn't mean anyone is right. (Even me).

You know what you like, and don't like. You two are experimenting to find what that is. That doesn't mean you should be disrespected. A man sharing his wife with another man is giving that lover a gift--and should be respected in word and deed.

If your wife wants to disrespect your wishes, that is between you and her. It might be time to become more assertive and letting her know who is the husband in this relationship. It may be something she's wanting you to do anyway.

If the lover disrespects you it is time for him to go screw up someone else's marriage.

Of course if you want to be a cuck, forget the above--and move this thread to the other category on this forum.

You know what's right for you--that doesn't mean you should let a wife's lover run all over you and go against your wishes.

[tomwolfe]

Jane talked to Deron a couple times this week. She's probably going to see him this weekend. I'm okay with it, but i won't watch the next time. I know it needs to be left up to her who she plays with.
She's also going to meet another guy this weekend, just to see if he's her type. Things are better between us, and the issues with us were on me really.

I applaud your courage in admitting that despite what you thought you wanted in terms of a HW experience, the reality of watching your wife with another man was more than you were able to handle at that particular moment. And that's okay, most of us have experienced the same thing.

Remember Gay Talese's book "Thy Neighbor's Wife" in the early 80s? He had a chapter in which he chronicled Hugh Hefner's jealous reaction to watching his Playmate girlfriend Karen Christy having sex with another man. Hugh freakin' Hefner, fer cryin' out loud, jealous, and apparently insanely so.

Happens to all of us. And just because it might have happened to you last weekend doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again...or, it might. But I'm glad you and your wife are talking this through. My wife and I have periodically done the same thing, especially when one of her adventures takes an unexpected turn in some way that I find difficult to handle, even after all these years of this lifestyle.

[jane]

Just for the record, anyone i see gets an STD test .

[jane]

As i just said, anyone i see gets a test, with a condom or without.
OKAY? i'm not stupid.

[suzywild]

Jane, are you okay? Do you need to talk? Hope your doing okay.

[jane]

Am i ok? Feeling a bit frazzled this morning. Hopefully we can chat sometime. But i have to take my son to the doctor this morning.

[suzywild]

Okay, take a deep breath, relax, let stuff roll off your shoulders and enjoy your day with your son. We will talk later.

[jane]

No i didn't end up seeing him this weekend.