Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[hotwifegoddes4u]

1. Did you ever experience embarrassed feelings when you first tried hotwifing, and did it go away as you acclimated to the lifestyle? (She said she can't imagine ever being able to just think about this stuff outside of her sexy time compartment)
2. If it didn't go away, does it happen more when you first meet a guy and then disappear when you're comfortable with him?
3. Or... is it there all the time but you care less and less about it because of all the good feelings you're experiencing in the erotic realm?

When I first started, I was worried that my Number1 wouldn't be able to handle the whole truth, so I at times colored things to not hurt his feelings. Also, there was a little embarrassment for me in doing things that I was brought up to not do. I think those two things are fairly normal for each Hotwife to grapple with and to overcome.
I think it's not so much getting comfortable with the guy as it is in becoming comfortable in your marriage. The wife has to trust her husband and the husband has to trust his wife, that is the important "comfort" here. When we're sure of each other, then this lifestyle becomes easier and fun. The uncertainty of a new lover is easy to handle if there is certainty in the marriage.
So yes, the embarrassment and the uncomfortableness go away as the marriage grows deeper in trust and intimacy.

Thank you for the perspective. That certainly makes sense. I will be curious to see if it applies to my wife's "weird" feelings or feelings of embarrassment. Right now, we are both getting to a point where she is getting a little more fun out of hot chat with her Skype friend M and becoming less uncomfortable admitting it. Hope that is a sign her trust is growing!

[Marinecuckplease]

Are there any VHW that were vigrins when they met thier husbands? And how was becoming a hot wife approached?

[Farmgirl]

Are there any VHW that were vigrins when they met thier husbands? And how was becoming a hot wife approached?

I was a virgin of 13 when we first met. Our story is in my signature line.

[Farmgirl]

Great question and one I can answer despite not yet playing as l spend a lot of time thinking of it. Yes, absolutely. Any clear IQ display and my panties are soaking. Hells if a man who’s a 3 says something to suggest deep intellect he instantly turns into a 7/8 and I start wondering about the shape of his cock. If it’s in writing even more so, I’ll quickly wonder about its taste too! MrStag’s intellect is unsurpassed in my eyes and the way his mind works is practically my kink. That much a sapiosexual.

Which is exactly why I want no dates or debates with the bulls. Why would there be any? So I determine they are intelligent and be attracted to that? That’s infidelity to me. My mind and my heart belong to MrStag, this is just about sweaty bodies and hot fun and it’s all about the two of us. These men we’ll let in temporarily should be so lucky but we don’t need a relationship or even connection so no discussion or evaluation of their intellect is necessary.

stagnvixenuk,
This thread is for Verified HotWives to answer questions. The verification helps to assure to others that an actual Hotwife is answering.
If you would like to be verified, that process is quite easy and painless and you'll be able to join us in the Ladies' Lounge.

[afagehi7]

Great question and one I can answer despite not yet playing as l spend a lot of time thinking of it. Yes, absolutely. Any clear IQ display and my panties are soaking. Hells if a man who’s a 3 says something to suggest deep intellect he instantly turns into a 7/8 and I start wondering about the shape of his cock. If it’s in writing even more so, I’ll quickly wonder about its taste too! MrStag’s intellect is unsurpassed in my eyes and the way his mind works is practically my kink. That much a sapiosexual.

Which is exactly why I want no dates or debates with the bulls. Why would there be any? So I determine they are intelligent and be attracted to that? That’s infidelity to me. My mind and my heart belong to MrStag, this is just about sweaty bodies and hot fun and it’s all about the two of us. These men we’ll let in temporarily should be so lucky but we don’t need a relationship or even connection so no discussion or evaluation of their intellect is necessary.

stagnvixenuk,
This thread is for Verified HotWives to answer questions. The verification helps to assure to others that an actual Hotwife is answering.
If you would like to be verified, that process is quite easy and painless and you'll be able to join us in the Ladies' Lounge.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=53838

[Marinecuckplease]

How much do you fantasize about a lover or bull while having sex with your husband while being reclaimed? What about in between meets if there was nothing planned in the future or a ways out?

[Farmgirl]

How much do you fantasize about a lover or bull while having sex with your husband while being reclaimed? What about in between meets if there was nothing planned in the future or a ways out?

Others will be different, but I don't fantasize. I do think about my other guys as we fuck, but it's not a fantasy. It's a reality. We live this reality and I share all of my adventures with my Number1, it's who we are.
Not really any different from him thinking about me being fucked while he's fucking me . I'm very vocal during sex, in all ways.
I talk to him and he to me all during, it makes us each hotter and the experience that much more intense.

[DCharles]

1. Did you ever experience embarrassed feelings when you first tried hotwifing, and did it go away as you acclimated to the lifestyle? (She said she can't imagine ever being able to just think about this stuff outside of her sexy time compartment)
2. If it didn't go away, does it happen more when you first meet a guy and then disappear when you're comfortable with him?
3. Or... is it there all the time but you care less and less about it because of all the good feelings you're experiencing in the erotic realm?

When I first started, I was worried that my Number1 wouldn't be able to handle the whole truth, so I at times colored things to not hurt his feelings. Also, there was a little embarrassment for me in doing things that I was brought up to not do. I think those two things are fairly normal for each Hotwife to grapple with and to overcome.
I think it's not so much getting comfortable with the guy as it is in becoming comfortable in your marriage. The wife has to trust her husband and the husband has to trust his wife, that is the important "comfort" here. When we're sure of each other, then this lifestyle becomes easier and fun. The uncertainty of a new lover is easy to handle if there is certainty in the marriage.
So yes, the embarrassment and the uncomfortableness go away as the marriage grows deeper in trust and intimacy.

I am really curious what things you thought he would not be able to handle? I personally find jealousy to be a fantastic aphrodisiac. When my wife has done things that push limits, it turns me on like crazy.

[Farmgirl]

I am really curious what things you thought he would not be able to handle? I personally find jealousy to be a fantastic aphrodisiac. When my wife has done things that push limits, it turns me on like crazy.

The same things many wives worry about; Can the husband handle the wife really being sexual with other men on her own. Can he truly accept her embracing her sexuality on her terms? Will he be able to handle the mental/emotional side of it?
Most men can't.

Does your wife have free range to enjoy who, when, where, how often, solo on her own terms?

[hoping_she_will_1day]

Does your wife have free range to enjoy who, when, where, how often, solo on her own terms?

THIS...this is a very powerful question.

[DCharles]

I am really curious what things you thought he would not be able to handle? I personally find jealousy to be a fantastic aphrodisiac. When my wife has done things that push limits, it turns me on like crazy.

The same things many wives worry about; Can the husband handle the wife really being sexual with other men on her own. Can he truly accept her embracing her sexuality on her terms? Will he be able to handle the mental/emotional side of it?
Most men can't.

Does your wife have free range to enjoy who, when, where, how often, solo on her own terms?

Yes, I find it an incredible turn on for her to do what really turns her on along with the person she is with. When it turns out that she does something that does make me jealous, it ends up being a turn on that she does it. I’m not sure if that makes sense.

[Subcucky]

I have been telling my wife how I want to be cuckolded for quite awhile. She has played into this telling me she is thinking about her ex and she talks to him sometimes.

Recently she told me she has told a number of her friends about my desire for her to sleep with other men.

Do you think she is now considering it and looking for validation?

[DedicatedHubby2013]

I posted something similar in a longer posting based on an interesting chat session my wife recently had with her lover.

Would it affect your relationship or feelings for your husband if on a playdate with your bull, your husband joins in and performs gay sexual acts with your bull?

Would it affect your relationship or feelings for your husband if the bull asked your husband to fuck the bull's wife and your husband accepted the request and your husband fucked another woman?

I will be having more conversations with my wife, but thought I would get some opinions of people that are also living the hotwife lifestyle, since this behavior starts to bend more toward cuckolding and swinging.

Thanks, ladies.

[Farmgirl]

I posted something similar in a longer posting based on an interesting chat session my wife recently had with her lover.

Would it affect your relationship or feelings for your husband if on a playdate with your bull, your husband joins in and performs gay sexual acts with your bull?

Would it affect your relationship or feelings for your husband if the bull asked your husband to fuck the bull's wife and your husband accepted the request and your husband fucked another woman?

I will be having more conversations with my wife, but thought I would get some opinions of people that are also living the hotwife lifestyle, since this behavior starts to bend more toward cuckolding and swinging.

Thanks, ladies.

Those are decisions unique to each Hotwife, and will be unique to your wife as well. This is something you will have to find from her.
For me, I don't want my husband involved with another man, and he would only play with another female with my consent.

[rascalnvixen]

For me, I don't want my husband involved with another man, and he would only play with another female with my consent.

Farmgirl, does your Number 1 have to give his consent for you to be with another man? Or are you strong enough to make your own mind as to who you will, when, how and why you play with another man?? I don't want to say dominant but I guess that is the same thing without the label. Maybe you have a long standing agreement you play with whom ever you choose and it's ALL up to you??

Rascal

[Farmgirl]

For me, I don't want my husband involved with another man, and he would only play with another female with my consent.

Farmgirl, does your Number 1 have to give his consent for you to be with another man? Or are you strong enough to make your own mind as to who you will, when, how and why you play with another man?? I don't want to say dominant but I guess that is the same thing without the label. Maybe you have a long standing agreement you play with whom ever you choose and it's ALL up to you??

Rascal

Rascal,
Both my husband and I are dominant personalities. I do not put him below myself. He lovingly puts himself a touch below me. In his doing that, he gave his consent for me to play with other men as I see fit. And he, knowing that it can bother me for him to be with other women, won't play without my consent.
In his love and deference for me, he freely gives me that.
It is not that I am selfish, he gives me this honor. And for some that would think "what if she abuses her position?" Let me assure you, I never knowingly do anything that would hurt or dishonor my husband. He is foremost in my heart and mind.
So, yes, I play when, how, and with whom I want. His consent is pre-given, as is his love and trust.
This works because we honor and trust each other, and we regularly do that "C" word (Communicate).

[rascalnvixen]

For me, I don't want my husband involved with another man, and he would only play with another female with my consent.

Farmgirl, does your Number 1 have to give his consent for you to be with another man? Or are you strong enough to make your own mind as to who you will, when, how and why you play with another man?? I don't want to say dominant but I guess that is the same thing without the label. Maybe you have a long standing agreement you play with whom ever you choose and it's ALL up to you??

Rascal

Rascal,
Both my husband and I are dominant personalities. I do not put him below myself. He lovingly puts himself a touch below me. In his doing that, he gave his consent for me to play with other men as I see fit. And he, knowing that it can bother me for him to be with other women, won't play without my consent.
In his love and deference for me, he freely gives me that.
It is not that I am selfish, he gives me this honor. And for some that would think "what if she abuses her position?" Let me assure you, I never knowingly do anything that would hurt or dishonor my husband. He is foremost in my heart and mind.
So, yes, I play when, how, and with whom I want. His consent is pre-given, as is his love and trust.
This works because we honor and trust each other, and we regularly do that "C" word (Communicate).

What a wonderful response!!! I was hoping that was the situation, but it is nice to know my impressions of you are well founded!!!

Rascal

[DedicatedHubby2013]

Those are decisions unique to each Hotwife, and will be unique to your wife as well. This is something you will have to find from her.
For me, I don't want my husband involved with another man, and he would only play with another female with my consent.

Yeah, thanks for the feedback.
You are correct. It is a situation unique to everyone in how they will react and what they are comfortable with. Talking about it together over a few days, she seems okay about it, so we are going to give wife swapping swinging a try with this couple. They seem nice and easy going. My wife said she thinks it will be fun. I think I have been the one more nervous about this than she has.

[TomAdams]

When you actually made your husband (or boyfriend) a cuckold for the first time, was there an immediate change in your feelings about him? Was it challenging in any way to keep loving him?

[Farmgirl]

When you actually made your husband (or boyfriend) a cuckold for the first time, was there an immediate change in your feelings about him? Was it challenging in any way to keep loving him?

When I first enjoyed my freedom as a Hotwife, and my husband's loving support, I felt immense love for my husband. Why would there be any challenge in loving my life mate?

Oh! Are you talking about him letting his clutter spill all over the kitchen bar just because it's a flat spot?

[afagehi7]

I notice guys here posting all kinds of wild fantasies from mfm, fmf, to being humiliated, wife leaving, getting Prego, etc... The list is long, far, and wide. Rarely do we see any of the females (well verified females) post any kinds of wild fantasies. Some even say they don't have fantasies.

Based on this, I'd say that fantasizing about wild scenarios is largely a male activity... Or are y'all ladies holding out on us.

I'm guessing it's like watching strippers, this is largely a guy thing, sure on occasion a woman may watch a Chippendale or even a female stripper, but largely this is a man thing.

Would y'all agree? Fantasizing, especially about wild* encounters, is a male dominated sport?

*Wild - for lack of a better term

[2inUPMichigan]

I notice guys here posting all kinds of wild fantasies from mfm, fmf, to being humiliated, wife leaving, getting Prego, etc... The list is long, far, and wide. Rarely do we see any of the females (well verified females) post any kinds of wild fantasies. Some even say they don't have fantasies.

Based on this, I'd say that fantasizing about wild scenarios is largely a male activity... Or are y'all ladies holding out on us.

I'm guessing it's like watching strippers, this is largely a guy thing, sure on occasion a woman may watch a Chippendale or even a female stripper, but largely this is a man thing.

Would y'all agree? Fantasizing, especially about wild* encounters, is a male dominated sport?

*Wild - for lack of a better term

I will tell you why I generally don't post my own fantasies in the public forums.

Because I would describe it exactly how I imagine it in great detail (because the specific details do matter) .....and the comments would be suggestions on how I could make it "better" as in change it to fit their own idea. No, no, no! I want my fantasy not yours

Or "encouraging" me to fulfill it tomorrow or better yet in the next few hours. Um, just because I have a fantasy about something does NOT mean I want to actually live it out in real life.

After a few encounters like that I would rather share with those that react without trying to change, take over or push me to live out something I never intended to.

Do I have some wild fantasies? Sure do! Most of which I probably won't share here because of those type of reactions.

[hoping_she_will_1day]

Or "encouraging" me to fulfill it tomorrow or better yet in the next few hours. Um, just because I have a fantasy about something does NOT mean I want to actually live it out in real life.

Ha! I can't tell you the number of times my wife has said this to me! Have you two been talking??

[afagehi7]

I notice guys here posting all kinds of wild fantasies from mfm, fmf, to being humiliated, wife leaving, getting Prego, etc... The list is long, far, and wide. Rarely do we see any of the females (well verified females) post any kinds of wild fantasies. Some even say they don't have fantasies.

Based on this, I'd say that fantasizing about wild scenarios is largely a male activity... Or are y'all ladies holding out on us.

I'm guessing it's like watching strippers, this is largely a guy thing, sure on occasion a woman may watch a Chippendale or even a female stripper, but largely this is a man thing.

Would y'all agree? Fantasizing, especially about wild* encounters, is a male dominated sport?

*Wild - for lack of a better term

I will tell you why I generally don't post my own fantasies in the public forums.

Because I would describe it exactly how I imagine it in great detail (because the specific details do matter) .....and the comments would be suggestions on how I could make it "better" as in change it to fit their own idea. No, no, no! I want my fantasy not yours

Or "encouraging" me to fulfill it tomorrow or better yet in the next few hours. Um, just because I have a fantasy about something does NOT mean I want to actually live it out in real life.

After a few encounters like that I would rather share with those that react without trying to change, take over or push me to live out something I never intended to.

Do I have some wild fantasies? Sure do! Most of which I probably won't share here because of those type of reactions.

Let me explain why you should share them... Bahahahaha

[Farmgirl]

I notice guys here posting all kinds of wild fantasies from mfm, fmf, to being humiliated, wife leaving, getting Prego, etc... The list is long, far, and wide. Rarely do we see any of the females (well verified females) post any kinds of wild fantasies. Some even say they don't have fantasies.

Based on this, I'd say that fantasizing about wild scenarios is largely a male activity... Or are y'all ladies holding out on us.

I'm guessing it's like watching strippers, this is largely a guy thing, sure on occasion a woman may watch a Chippendale or even a female stripper, but largely this is a man thing.

Would y'all agree? Fantasizing, especially about wild* encounters, is a male dominated sport?

*Wild - for lack of a better term

Some of us have fantasies, some of us don't. Either way, men try to tell us how and why we should have or do them . It's so easy to see on the forums when someone asks a female opinion, and the female opinion is pushed aside.