Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[afagehi7]

I will divorce her if she does carry on a full cheating affair. My best 10 years financially are just ahead. I am not willing to share all that with a cheating wife.

Spoken like a true alpha. Clear lines with clear ramifications for crossing those lines. Respect.

In the end, she's happier knowing your strong position. I think women want strong men. It's in their DNA. Obviously this is just my opinion and belief but it certainly explains much.

[slenderfish]

SW just left with Ms. J for her girls' night. I'll be heading out for the weekend in a couple of hours.

She kind of tried to pick a bit of a fight with me before leaving. I waved at Ms. J and sent them off, and will be back on Sunday evening.

SW said at present she has no set plans for Saturday night.

I am strangely feeling the same as I did that fateful night in August 2020 when SW invited Mr. B over, and so much of this all was ignited. I went ahead and revisited a bit of the security video from that night, and saw some additional "intimacy" nuances earlier in the tape, that I'd previously missed.

Logic says this is all "me" and perhaps I'm at some level deliberately setting myself up to be able to feel the angst of a hotwife husband, even though she has nothing in the plans. Interesting, how we are with our desires and kinks.

This reminds me of something else in my back-and-forth with SW and a hotwife lifestyle. Many of the readers legitimately express some level of frustration at my letting this kind of languish without a lot of action on my part. I acknowledge that the driver on this is I'd rather (at some level) have a tinge or a taste of SW being a hotwife even if she is not active with any other man at this time. If I push, then there is the good possibility she will stop playing along, and stop allowing me to have my little fantasy. On the other side, as long as she has not had any strong negative reaction to my continuing desires, there's the possibility that she stumbles onto a situation that appeals to her, and she knows it's a green light in advance.

Finally, the work with the therapist is presently focused on SW discovering more of her own sexuality. She even went in for a solo session last week. That can't be anything but positive.

Let's see what fruits the weekend may provide!

[anonymister1948]

I say this with the hope that it isn't the case, but when people are about to do something they aren't supposed to, they will pick a fight with their spouse to justify that thing. My guess is that is why you're really "feeling it".

I'm not sure I buy into the whole she wants to be a good girl part. If that's the case, why would she invite a man to spend the night knowing her girlfriends all knew he was the last one there? And it seems at least a few of her friends are single and wild . . . like the women she went out with tonight. She may WANT to be a good girl but . . . she's getting and giving numbers from single men.

[afagehi7]

SW just left with Ms. J for her girls' night. I'll be heading out for the weekend in a couple of hours.

She kind of tried to pick a bit of a fight with me before leaving. I waved at Ms. J and sent them off, and will be back on Sunday evening.

SW said at present she has no set plans for Saturday night.

I am strangely feeling the same as I did that fateful night in August 2020 when SW invited Mr. B over, and so much of this all was ignited. I went ahead and revisited a bit of the security video from that night, and saw some additional "intimacy" nuances earlier in the tape, that I'd previously missed.

Logic says this is all "me" and perhaps I'm at some level deliberately setting myself up to be able to feel the angst of a hotwife husband, even though she has nothing in the plans. Interesting, how we are with our desires and kinks.

This reminds me of something else in my back-and-forth with SW and a hotwife lifestyle. Many of the readers legitimately express some level of frustration at my letting this kind of languish without a lot of action on my part. I acknowledge that the driver on this is I'd rather (at some level) have a tinge or a taste of SW being a hotwife even if she is not active with any other man at this time. If I push, then there is the good possibility she will stop playing along, and stop allowing me to have my little fantasy. On the other side, as long as she has not had any strong negative reaction to my continuing desires, there's the possibility that she stumbles onto a situation that appeals to her, and she knows it's a green light in advance.

Finally, the work with the therapist is presently focused on SW discovering more of her own sexuality. She even went in for a solo session last week. That can't be anything but positive.

Let's see what fruits the weekend may provide!

Just her playing along with the fantasy and dirty talking et Al is still way better than many of us have. You're right, if the right situation arrives, she may decide to proceed. I think that's often the case... Just need the right guy at the right time.

You're having fun, she's having fun, all is well

[slenderfish]

She texted me partway through the evening that she desires to be my muse and to make me happy, that she loves me to the moon, etc.

I texted back that I'm all about more emphasis on the muse efforts at this point, that I also love her to the max, etc.

[afagehi7]

She texted me partway through the evening that she desires to be my muse and to make me happy, that she loves me to the moon, etc.

I texted back that I'm all about more emphasis on the muse efforts at this point, that I also love her to the max, etc.

I don't understand what you're supposed to read into that... Does it refer to hotwifing or just in general?

[Observer1931]

What is muse?

[Observer1931]

Deleted Duplicate

[slenderfish]

What is muse?

I do need to elaborate.

After the Mr. B situation in late August 2020, we were at a crossroads in our marriage, in many respects. We yelled, cried, suffered, etc. As I've previously mentioned, she'd been saying that nothing happened between them, it was innocent, etc. Essentially, "Believe me, not your eyes."

So I called for a re-evaluation, redefinition, reset.

I basically pointed out to her that I was providing just about everything to her that she wants in life and in a marriage, even things she may not acknowledge that she wants. Money, house, travel, friends group, lifestyle, family, security, luxury car, an eye-popping clothes spend, and freedom to flirt without jealousy. But that I wasn't getting some of the things that are important to me, especially things that may drive, inspire, and motivate me. The things a man wants with a wife with whom he is deeply in love and should trust with his secrets, that she would want to provide to him what he desires, in the same way that he wants to provide what she desires.

I reminded her that I have less need for these material things in life (as compared to her) and that I am self-motivated and will be successful in any case. At that point I was kind of winding down one major career effort and kind of at a financial plateau, and perhaps ready take it easier for the future. However, if she really wants me and us to get "to the next level" then I need more of a contribution from her. If that contribution is not a second successful career of hers, then I'll have to double my effort. That in order to do so, I also need to be more motivated. That I'm a goal-oriented person and if there is a great reward in something, I will drive myself to achieve.

That I need her to be more of a muse to me.

From Miriam-Webster Dictionary, definition (2):

muse noun (2)
Definition of muse (Entry 3 of 3)
1: capitalized : any of the nine sister goddesses in Greek mythology presiding over song and poetry and the arts and sciences
Clio is the Greek Muse of history.
2: a source of inspiration
especially : a guiding genius
The writer's beloved wife was his muse.
3: POET

(my addition:)
4: See also "Galatea" from Ourhotwives.org.

I noted that many successful men do give their wives great credit in their achievements. That additional "secret" factor.

I asked my beloved wife to focus more on being my muse. That I had one great unmet desire in myself, that she would take her obvious desire for other men and "go to the next level" by becoming a hotwife.

And so she did. Back then, in late 2020. Pursued Mr. S and started a relationship with him. And pulled Mr. M in as a bonus.

There has been a pause on all that since March 2021, when she abandoned Mr. S. She has not really returned to any active efforts, just the flirting and getting the occasional phone number.

She clearly revived the muse conversation, in her text message, last night.

[afagehi7]

She clearly revived the muse conversation, in her text message, last night.

You're right, you really provide everything for her. She'd never find another guy who would do this much for her and be as attractive as you. She really hit the lottery.

So she was indeed referring to hotwife activities? I'm guessing if so it's less about you and more about she found a hot guy who melts her butter.

Interesting and I wonder who it is... Black guy from bar? Mr B resurfacing?

[Triggershy]

Cliffhanger?? Can’t wait to hear the update!!

[CuriousUK]

Yeah, interesting indeed! This forum is definitely richer for you sharing your experiences with us so freely. Certainly anticipating more to come from the weekend

[slenderfish]

So I was gone and SW called me from home at 10:30 on Friday night. She'd been out with Ms. J, they started early and ended early.

I gave SW lots of space on Saturday, in case she had any plans, etc. She'd told me she had no plans, and may well stay in on Saturday night. I took that at face value, but at the same time wondered if she'd kept that as her official plan so that she would be able to take on a last-minute plan, that night. Also whether she'd kept it early on Friday so that she will have the energy to "go big" on Saturday night. In my experience with SW, a bigger-than-planned Friday night will always ruin whatever is planned for Saturday night, because she just can't do two nights in a row.

I did hear from her on Sunday, indirectly. I got home at 9:30 p.m. on Sunday night.

I was with my buddy's at his summer cabin. It is a beach house. We essentially hosted two different groups of guy friends, one group on Saturday and one on Sunday. Total guys' time, hanging out and telling stories, drinking whatever, cigars, beaching, etc. On Sunday one of the friends who spent the day with us brought his e-foil electric surfboard. He is adept on it and I'm still learning. I got up on it a couple of times and had a good workout, but was mostly beaten up and in the water. Seemed like everybody on the beach was really curious and impressed. None of the other guys was willing to even give it a try, too daunting.

Anyway, on of the guys sent our girls images of us hanging on the beach and on the efoil. SW was on the group text. I knew she would jump into the string as soon as she got up for Sunday, and waited to see what time that might be (e.g late a.m. or really late a.m./early afternoon). Her comment on the group text indicated it was the first (e.g. late a.m.). So not out ridiculously late. Once the guys wrapped up the beaching and got back to the house for sunset and cigars and drinks, I did speak with her. She said she was tired on Friday night and also on Saturday night, and ultimately did not go out on Saturday night. And at the same time did not wake up for her planned Sunday morning workout, just slept through it.

I guess I am surprised in many ways, but it seems she actually did nothing on Saturday or Sunday and just hung at the house with the dog, did laundry and little projects, etc. Or it's all a cover story and she did something else and is not telling me about it. I certainly hope that's not the case. I'm pretty sure we are past all that. Of course, time will continue to tell.

I think her texts about desiring to be the muse are an opening to discussing hotwife stuff and coming to a new agreement and understanding about it all. At least, I hope so. I'd like an on-ramp to requesting she send a text message to Mr. Jay to meet for coffee or similar, to see if there is any possibility there.

[crystal]

Holly shit 130 pages i need to catch up with your story guys

[Mr Mrs Cream]

I hope a next time you will go with her for such guy friends party.
And there will be someone who SW would find atractive for her, and you will ask him to pick up SW to neerest motel with green light.

Looks like you need to take initiative and take her for dates etc.

[afagehi7]

All very strange. The muse comment followed by a stay home weekend.

Some type of surveillance would have been helpful here... What type I have no idea as most would raise suspicion or be easily thwarted. Perhaps a pet cam in the kitchen? Ideal no but better than nothing. Hell, even I have one of those to check on pets when not home

Point is this is all very strange, not saying that she cheated or anything like that, just it's not her usual behavior pattern. She's not a hang out at home kinda chick

[slenderfish]

All very strange. The muse comment followed by a stay home weekend.

Some type of surveillance would have been helpful here... What type I have no idea as most would raise suspicion or be easily thwarted. Perhaps a pet cam in the kitchen? Ideal no but better than nothing. Hell, even I have one of those to check on pets when not home

Point is this is all very strange, not saying that she cheated or anything like that, just it's not her usual behavior pattern. She's not a hang out at home kinda chick

I agree. Almost got into tiff with her last night.

She rearranged the closets, so I guess she was in a spring cleaning mindset. Did all the laundry and folded it and put it away. She washed and even ironed all of the bed sheets on all the beds in the house, and made up the beds!

Quite outside of her normal process.

I was trying to understand and last night asked her what triggered her desire to do all of this? She did not take it as curious but rather as incredulous. She said she has done this before and will do it again, that perhaps I just don't notice what she does to contribute around the house.

Okay, point made, not gonna go down that road. No profit in it.

I thanked her for taking such good care of me and us, and we went off to sleep.

It's now the next day and the amateur psychologist in me says that some people who like everything to be in perfect order, will over-indulge in trying to establish order in minute things (kind of an OCD effect) especially when they feel like they or things around them are not in order. Kind of an effort to feel more in control, because they are feeling out of control. SW does have proclivities in this way.

Not gonna surveil. Things have a way of coming out, so I will just observe and report.

[mundyman]

All very strange. The muse comment followed by a stay home weekend.

Some type of surveillance would have been helpful here... What type I have no idea as most would raise suspicion or be easily thwarted. Perhaps a pet cam in the kitchen? Ideal no but better than nothing. Hell, even I have one of those to check on pets when not home

Point is this is all very strange, not saying that she cheated or anything like that, just it's not her usual behavior pattern. She's not a hang out at home kinda chick

I agree. Almost got into tiff with her last night.

She rearranged the closets, so I guess she was in a spring cleaning mindset. Did all the laundry and folded it and put it away. She washed and even ironed all of the bed sheets on all the beds in the house, and made up the beds!

Quite outside of her normal process.

I was trying to understand and last night asked her what triggered her desire to do all of this? She did not take it as curious but rather as incredulous. She said she has done this before and will do it again, that perhaps I just don't notice what she does to contribute around the house.

Okay, point made, not gonna go down that road. No profit in it.

I thanked her for taking such good care of me and us, and we went off to sleep.

It's now the next day and the amateur psychologist in me says that some people who like everything to be in perfect order, will over-indulge in trying to establish order in minute things (kind of an OCD effect) especially when they feel like they or things around them are not in order. Kind of an effort to feel more in control, because they are feeling out of control. SW does have proclivities in this way.

Not gonna surveil. Things have a way of coming out, so I will just observe and report.

It sounds like there is MUCH internal turmoil within your muse.
Given the topics that she is being asked to think about and deal with in therapy, as well as the discussions you two are having, I’m sure there is a lot swirling around in her mind.
Like you said people in these situations take great comfort in putting the things they can control in order when they can.
Do you think Pinky is about to come to a great revelation, a seismic shift in her thought process, or a small realignment in how she views your desire to see her hotwife, or do you think she about to shut it all down?
Other than you and your therapist, does she have anyone she can talk to about this?

[rooster444]

Seems like she took stock of the entire situation and decided for herself she is just a good-time party girl, a flirt, a 'look-over-the edge never jump,' corporate good wife who will take good care of the bread-winner and his fantasies but for herself, she is not a hotwife.

Maybe it's something that can't be overly encouraged or generated. Either she is or she isn't and it seems she is drawing the conclusion that she might not be....no matter how hot the guy is.

[slenderfish]

Just to allay concerns, and to observe that on this board we all are viewing through certain hotwife-colored lenses, I think I do know the driver here.

After thinking about it for a bit, and not to overlook what is above with respect to muse and hotwife etc., I do believe the primary driver is something else.

We have been undergoing a major house remodel over the past 2+ years and it's really complete. Final touching up of paint on the walls and painting new doors that were installed, and we're done.

SW and I had agreed several weeks ago to target getting these completed by June 30, so that we might be able to host something on the 4th of July weekend.

But not happening. Some scheduling things, she'd arranged for the blinds to be installed and then the paint. Wrong order. When she tried to rearrange, the painter could not accelerate. So both had to be deferred into July.

The house not being quite perfect, she oriented to the things she can control in the house.

Also as a push for me to tidy up the remaining construction debris, focus on the yard, etc. It's spring cleaning finally having a chance.

I'll of course continue to pay attention to the other elements that may be at play. Last week's therapist session was skipped, because the therapist was out of town. We are set for this week on Thursday.

[rooster444]

So she nixed the golden opportunity to make something happen that she wants, you want and she pledged would happen so she can do '...things she can control in the house.'

Got it.

[slenderfish]

So she nixed the golden opportunity to make something happen that she wants, you want and she pledged would happen so she can do '...things she can control in the house.'

Got it.

I certainly hope this is not really how it went, but at the same time hope that she isn't back to secretive stuff. Giving her the benefit of her honesty unless or until shown otherwise.

[rooster444]

Good call & good luck. I sense a temporary (lets hope) loss of interest. Cheating would be so stupid considering she has the green light.

[afagehi7]

So she nixed the golden opportunity to make something happen that she wants, you want and she pledged would happen so she can do '...things she can control in the house.'

Got it.

I certainly hope this is not really how it went, but at the same time hope that she isn't back to secretive stuff. Giving her the benefit of her honesty unless or until shown otherwise.

Trust but verify...

Meaning that you should trust her but absolutely should also watch like a hawk

[slenderfish]

Other than you and your therapist, does she have anyone she can talk to about this?

I believe she does have a girlfriend to whom she has confided. She has not said anything about it, but it's my feeling at this point.