Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[StandingO1984]

Anyone have an idea how many VHWs there are on OHW? My wife and I have talked about her getting verified even though we are still wannabes. I personally think she would benefit from talking with other wives in the Ladies Lounge. Hoping there are lots of wives who engage with newbies there. So much to process as we explore taking it from fantasy to reality.

[Farmgirl]

I don't think his response was still in the form of a question, was it???

Rascal

Do you need to be taken for some retraining, maybe a strapping or electro-shock?

[Farmgirl]

Anyone have an idea how many VHWs there are on OHW? My wife and I have talked about her getting verified even though we are still wannabes. I personally think she would benefit from talking with other wives in the Ladies Lounge. Hoping there are lots of wives who engage with newbies there. So much to process as we explore taking it from fantasy to reality.

I don't know the number of VHW, you could contact armyguyot1 to find out.
Your wife only needs to desire to be with other men to be a Hotwife and become verified. We would welcome her into our little part of the world, where she could get answers to her questions and discuss any concerns.
We're a pretty loving and supportive bunch, an elite club .

[54321]

Dear Ladies,

I ran this poll some time ago regarding the amount of emotional involvement hotwives prefer to enjoy with their lovers.
The more people take the poll, the more accurate the results will be so please choose your preference. it would be much appreciated if you could encourage your fellow hotwives to choose their preferences too. Thank you.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=58703

The findings so far are really interesting.

I expected a straightforward binomial bell curve with the most in the middle (the norm) and the fewest at the outer limits.
In fact, we did find something approaching a binomial but we ALSO found there are quite large groups on the fringes. I call them the 'It's Pretty Much Only Sex' group and the 'Full Blown Love Affair' group.

At one end we have:
The 'It's Pretty Much Only Sex' group
About 20% of Hotwives absolutely want to 'play it safe' emotionally. For them, it's 'sex, no strings' and they are extremely careful not to endanger their primary relationship.

At the other end we have:
The 'Full Blown Love Affair' group
About 30% fearlessly embrace loving their lovers. They've discovered that they can completely go with it, ride it out and come out the other side still in one piece. I think that these women are very passionate and love the drama, excitement, thrills and spills of falling in and out of love but are smart enough to know that their unwavering husbands will love them throughout and long after their lovers have come and gone.

In the middle we have:
The 'Mix and Match' group
About 50% of Hotwives are shaping up to the expected binomial trend (more people in the middle and fewer towards the extremes) but, interestingly, the peak of the curve is not perfectly in the middle. It is skewed a little more towards greater connection indicating that the 'average hotwife' prefers slightly more connection than less.

Thank you for your help.

54321

[Hottlegs]

Never admitted to my hubby what a slut i was in college till last night. He has always talked hot and dirty to me me which makes me so fing hot. I was drunk but told him some of my sexual exapades teliing him i fucked 2 guys at same time. Afraid that he would be mad but he loved it and wants me to be his slut and a naughty when we go out. Still fighting guilt but deep desire to enjoy being sexy erotic slutty. How do i take next step

Ty

Hottlegs

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Hotlegs. You fit right in to our culture. Maybe you should see if hubby is interested in joining and reading some of the stories and accounts here. Maybe he wants you to be a hotwife but has been afraid to verbalize it or understand it. He may have been suppressing what he has been turned on by and wanting. Not uncommon.

[Farmgirl]

Welcome to the forum Hotlegs. You fit right in to our culture. Maybe you should see if hubby is interested in joining and reading some of the stories and accounts here. Maybe he wants you to be a hotwife but has been afraid to verbalize it or understand it. He may have been suppressing what he has been turned on by and wanting. Not uncommon.

I was just going to say that your name is purple, not bright Blue; but then giving you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you're just welcoming her .

[Farmgirl]

Never admitted to my hubby what a slut i was in college till last night. He has always talked hot and dirty to me me which makes me so fing hot. I was drunk but told him some of my sexual exapades teliing him i fucked 2 guys at same time. Afraid that he would be mad but he loved it and wants me to be his slut and a naughty when we go out. Still fighting guilt but deep desire to enjoy being sexy erotic slutty. How do i take next step

Ty

Hottlegs

The next step is relative to where you are on your journey, and how fast you want to move.
Have the two of you talked about it while sober? What do you want? How do you see this playing out? He has his vision, what is yours?

[sausageoflovers]

Hello Ladies,

When meeting other man, do you have to love him, or it’s sex only ?

Thx,

[sausageoflovers]

Another question:

Can you describe the change from having sex only with the man to desire of having baby with him?

Thx,

[2inUPMichigan]

Hello Ladies,

When meeting other man, do you have to love him, or it’s sex only ?

Thx,

I do not love the men that I play with, although some have earned the title of friend. It isn't "just sex" it is about the whole experience for me from start to finish.
Why does it have to be so dramatically one end of the spectrum or the other? There are so many delicious shades of gray in-between

[2inUPMichigan]

Another question:

Can you describe the change from having sex only with the man to desire of having baby with him?

Thx,

Nope, sorry no can't do that!

I don't do one night stands - the description of "sex only" to me. And even if I could have children, there is no way I would pick a guy as a father to my children that I won't even give my personal information to

If I don't give out my last name, my address or my phone number why would I trust this person to provide DNA for my child? That isn't very logical.

[Farmgirl]

Hello Ladies,

When meeting other man, do you have to love him, or it’s sex only ?

Thx,

I don't do one night stands, or strangers. I only see men I know or have gotten to know, so I already have good feelings about them and if we stay together, I will have a love for them.
There is no "sex only" for me.

[Lookingforadventure]

Hello Ladies,

When meeting other man, do you have to love him, or it’s sex only ?

Thx,

I don't do one night stands, or strangers. I only see men I know or have gotten to know, so I already have good feelings about them and if we stay together, I will have a love for them.
There is no "sex only" for me.

Yes. This. And also "yes" to 2intheUP's comment about babies. That is not something I'd ever do with someone who wasn't my husband.

[Farmgirl]

Another question:

Can you describe the change from having sex only with the man to desire of having baby with him?

Thx,

As I said in my other answer to you, there is no "sex only" for me, and there is no desire to have a baby with anyone other than my husband .

[Georg]

Sorry this is a bit wordy.

My questions have to do with how a traditional-wife-turned-hotwife arrives at a new way of seeing her husband and communicating with him. I know this can take a variety of forms, depending on personality.

I am 17 years married. My wife is gradually more comfortable with me having the fantasy that I do, with expressing her own attractions to other men, while (for now) staying firm against involvement with another man. What I hope to achieve in the next year or so, is a change in the way she understands me, talks to me, views me as a man. The tricky thing is to also preserve her respect for me as her man, and her attachment to our marriage and family, and her desire to keep me as her primary sexual partner. Rather than going completely south in the direct of humiliation, abuse, and total sexual divorce (which is not for me). Is this all too much to hope for? Are the contradictions too powerful?

I want her to "see" my sexual insecurity. Not to insult or degrade me, but to tease me about being small, less effective in bed than many men would be with her, and generally low on the virility scale. About my inability to fuck her to orgasm. And especially about my worry/desire that she will one day discover sex with another man that does so much more for her sexual pleasure, her body image, her confidence. I want her to tell me it's "cute" and "sweet" that I want to lick her pussy after it's been ravaged by superior cock. To develop a truly affirming and tender picture of me as her super-faithful life partner, who desires an awesome sex life for her alone, and for myself only through her.

Important clarification: I want these things to develop even if she never does spread her legs for another. I want to live the fantasy, even if I can't have the reality.

What are the challenges and the breakthroughs for a woman to see her wannabe cuckold as truly lovable? And still really a man and husband? I am curious about your own evolution. Your experience as true hotwives may help me a lot.

[Farmgirl]

Sorry this is a bit wordy.

My questions have to do with how a traditional-wife-turned-hotwife arrives at a new way of seeing her husband and communicating with him. I know this can take a variety of forms, depending on personality.

I am 17 years married. My wife is gradually more comfortable with me having the fantasy that I do, with expressing her own attractions to other men, while (for now) staying firm against involvement with another man. What I hope to achieve in the next year or so, is a change in the way she understands me, talks to me, views me as a man. The tricky thing is to also preserve her respect for me as her man, and her attachment to our marriage and family, and her desire to keep me as her primary sexual partner. Rather than going completely south in the direct of humiliation, abuse, and total sexual divorce (which is not for me). Is this all too much to hope for? Are the contradictions too powerful?

I want her to "see" my sexual insecurity. Not to insult or degrade me, but to tease me about being small, less effective in bed than many men would be with her, and generally low on the virility scale. About my inability to fuck her to orgasm. And especially about my worry/desire that she will one day discover sex with another man that does so much more for her sexual pleasure, her body image, her confidence. I want her to tell me it's "cute" and "sweet" that I want to lick her pussy after it's been ravaged by superior cock. To develop a truly affirming and tender picture of me as her super-faithful life partner, who desires an awesome sex life for her alone, and for myself only through her.

Important clarification: I want these things to develop even if she never does spread her legs for another. I want to live the fantasy, even if I can't have the reality.

What are the challenges and the breakthroughs for a woman to see her wannabe cuckold as truly lovable? And still really a man and husband? I am curious about your own evolution. Your experience as true hotwives may help me a lot.

I see my husband no different now than I did before, other than I love him even more. Perhaps, I do see him as a stronger man, a more confident man.

There are no "challenges and the breakthroughs" for what you're asking. It is taken care of by you telling her what you want, and then her telling you what she wants. Communication, in a nutshell.
Hotwives and Cuckoldresses don't do things to their husbands, they do things for their husbands. When a cuckold says that his wife requires thus, or won't let him have/do thus, it is because he has communicated to her that it is a turn-on and that he wants to experience it.
If you don't want to experience certain things, tell her. If you do want to experience certain stuff, tell her. The same applies to her and her wishes and desires.
It really is as simple as talking to each other or at least learning to talk to each other.

[Fmywife123]

I am sorry if this is a long winded question, but I felt it needed some background. Years ago when we had broken up over me being jealous and other normal kid stuff. During that time I learned about my fetish to watch, especially if it was my gf.
Well, we decided to get back together and the night we did decide; I told her I didn’t want her to have any regrets. We talked about “missed opportunities” with guys she may have had and that if she had any she should “get them out of her system”… well that night I talked her into not only telling me there was one, but in texting him. Then eventually going to his house, all in like 45 minutes.
She came back and lied about sleeping with him, I then went down on her and tasted condom… then she confessed and cried. I told her how I liked it and asked for details… then I tasted condom on her ass too… but she lied and said he didn’t do that. I told her what I tasted and she confessed again. Now she pretends it was just a dream I had and that she never did that.
Now to my question. When she was working outside of the home about 1-2 years ago, she had a normal work schedule. Something like 8 am-4 pm. Then our sex life took a dip. Her hours got irregular and I started getting a little nervous she may be taking me up on my offer to sleep around. One night she stayed at work from like 6 am- 8 pm, maybe 9pm. When she got home I was crazy horny thinking about what she could have been doing. She (like normal) wasn’t wanting sex but I said I needed it and after some talk she said I could take her from behind but to hurry…
Immediately she was soaked. Like she bent over and I pushed up and it went in with out any resistance. We hadn’t had sex in more than 4 weeks. I’m not small and normally that long of a wait and she is so tight it hurts sometimes. But tonight she was loose and more wet than she gets after we’re done fucking.
I asked why she was so wet and she said she was just turned on. But 2 minutes before she didn’t want anything… I asked why it felt different… not as tight as usual and she didn’t get upset or offended, she just said “I don’t know, just hurry up and finish”.
I did, and it happened 2 more times weeks apart, both on evenings she stayed late. It also happened on nights she “wasn't into it” or “was too tired”. It was also her insanely wet, dripping wet, and loose.
So I ask again. She gives the same answer. I get concerned she is hiding it because she thinks I’ll be upset. So, after sex we are taking and I bring up that stuff about wet, loose, and on late nights. Then I say, “if you ever wanted to sleep with someone else, you know I am 100% ok with that… in fact, I’d actually really enjoy it if you did do that. So if you have ever done it, you can be open with me. If you ever wanted to I’d really love to hear about it.”
Then she lost it and got pissed saying “I’d never cheat, I don’t want anyone else and if you talk about me cheating again I’ll lose it”. “Well,” I said “it’s not really cheating, I am actually asking you to do it. I want you to fuck someone else. I told you when I was deployed it was ok, and now I am asking you to. If you have anyone you’d like to sleep with, it’s ok. I’ll watch the kids, I’ll stay home one your nights out… whatever you needed. I want this.”
Then she basically yelled the same thing again and rolled over and went to bed. She didn’t talk to me for a few days and when we did she said she never wanted to talk about that again.
Did she cheat? I’d love to hear some opinions or ideas about if I am being cheated on or if I am thinking too much. Did she lie again cuz she feels naughty or wrong?

[Farmgirl]

I am sorry if this is a long winded question, but I felt it needed some background. Years ago when we had broken up over me being jealous and other normal kid stuff. During that time I learned about my fetish to watch, especially if it was my gf.
Well, we decided to get back together and the night we did decide; I told her I didn’t want her to have any regrets. We talked about “missed opportunities” with guys she may have had and that if she had any she should “get them out of her system”… well that night I talked her into not only telling me there was one, but in texting him. Then eventually going to his house, all in like 45 minutes.
She came back and lied about sleeping with him, I then went down on her and tasted condom… then she confessed and cried. I told her how I liked it and asked for details… then I tasted condom on her ass too… but she lied and said he didn’t do that. I told her what I tasted and she confessed again. Now she pretends it was just a dream I had and that she never did that.
Now to my question. When she was working outside of the home about 1-2 years ago, she had a normal work schedule. Something like 8 am-4 pm. Then our sex life took a dip. Her hours got irregular and I started getting a little nervous she may be taking me up on my offer to sleep around. One night she stayed at work from like 6 am- 8 pm, maybe 9pm. When she got home I was crazy horny thinking about what she could have been doing. She (like normal) wasn’t wanting sex but I said I needed it and after some talk she said I could take her from behind but to hurry…
Immediately she was soaked. Like she bent over and I pushed up and it went in with out any resistance. We hadn’t had sex in more than 4 weeks. I’m not small and normally that long of a wait and she is so tight it hurts sometimes. But tonight she was loose and more wet than she gets after we’re done fucking.
I asked why she was so wet and she said she was just turned on. But 2 minutes before she didn’t want anything… I asked why it felt different… not as tight as usual and she didn’t get upset or offended, she just said “I don’t know, just hurry up and finish”.
I did, and it happened 2 more times weeks apart, both on evenings she stayed late. It also happened on nights she “wasn't into it” or “was too tired”. It was also her insanely wet, dripping wet, and loose.
So I ask again. She gives the same answer. I get concerned she is hiding it because she thinks I’ll be upset. So, after sex we are taking and I bring up that stuff about wet, loose, and on late nights. Then I say, “if you ever wanted to sleep with someone else, you know I am 100% ok with that… in fact, I’d actually really enjoy it if you did do that. So if you have ever done it, you can be open with me. If you ever wanted to I’d really love to hear about it.”
Then she lost it and got pissed saying “I’d never cheat, I don’t want anyone else and if you talk about me cheating again I’ll lose it”. “Well,” I said “it’s not really cheating, I am actually asking you to do it. I want you to fuck someone else. I told you when I was deployed it was ok, and now I am asking you to. If you have anyone you’d like to sleep with, it’s ok. I’ll watch the kids, I’ll stay home one your nights out… whatever you needed. I want this.”
Then she basically yelled the same thing again and rolled over and went to bed. She didn’t talk to me for a few days and when we did she said she never wanted to talk about that again.
Did she cheat? I’d love to hear some opinions or ideas about if I am being cheated on or if I am thinking too much. Did she lie again cuz she feels naughty or wrong?

I don't know if she cheated or not, that's not even the issue. You two don't know how to communicate. Before worrying about if she cheated, or can/will she embrace consensual nonmonogamy, you both need to learn to talk to each other and to listen to each other.
That is the starting place, none of the rest will work if you can't openly and honestly communicate with each other.

[Funtimes3310]

My wife and I started down this path 5 years ago and everything seemed to be going well. There have only been about 20 partners and she enjoys the sex a lot. We had a friend over last week and they were playing around on the couch. She started to get so turned on and soaked it was incredible. I hadn't seen her like that in a long time. She had sex with him twice, and me once. When she went to sleep she was still turned on and moaning. Ever since that night she can't get enough sex. Has anyone else had a tipping point like that? Not sure if it will pass or if that's the way it's going to be.

[Lookingforadventure]

My wife and I started down this path 5 years ago and everything seemed to be going well. There have only been about 20 partners and she enjoys the sex a lot. We had a friend over last week and they were playing around on the couch. She started to get so turned on and soaked it was incredible. I hadn't seen her like that in a long time. She had sex with him twice, and me once. When she went to sleep she was still turned on and moaning. Ever since that night she can't get enough sex. Has anyone else had a tipping point like that? Not sure if it will pass or if that's the way it's going to be.

I haven't had a tipping point with no return, but I do have times when I'm more insatiable than others. A lot of it has to do with my mental state. If I'm feeling attractive and wanted, or I'm thinking about hot wife activities a lot (when a date is approaching, or I've recently written a recap here), I'm definitely eager for a lot of sex.

[BeNatural]

Single Wannabe's Dating Profile Advice

I'm a single guy with lots of experience in non-monogamy, 20 years, but with breaks and some off years. I've never been able to find a primary partner. I've always been the extra guy, and mostly for older women.

Here's my question, how much should I reveal on a regular dating profile about my desire for a mostly one-sided open relationship where she has most of the freedom?

I will use open relationship and kink specific dating apps too, and I will be clear and spell it out on those apps, but what about Bumble, Hinge, Match, etc.....

I consider Okcupid to be somewhat about non-monogamy and kink. I've used "monogamish" on there, and it worked, but I end up dating women that want polyamory and doing things very separately, and they often date just 1 other guy (boring, for the most part).

So, I've had this dilemma for years! Guys that have done well with women tell me not to mention it, then wait to talk about things on dates, and stick to my guns about what I really want in a relationship. Don't settle.

If I ask this on reddit on r/non-monogamy, the women say that I should say on my profile that I want non-monogamy. The thing is, while I'd like to be able to dabble 3 times a year in a hot tub at parties, I really don't want to date other women.

I'm fine with the relationship being monogamous for several months.

So, hotwives? Should I not mention anything on dating profiles on regular apps, then just be sure to be clear on dates once the subject of fantasies comes up? According to stats of studies, about 1 in 6 women want either threesomes or to experience an open relationship, if they had the chance. I just think it looks like I'm out of balance, if I ask for a one-sided open relationship on a site like Macth, etc....

[Swe_male]

To all hotwifes

What kind of actions do you do with your hubby to make him horny after being with your bull or bf? Do you do things that you know make him horny? Do you deny him anything or give him something he ask or want? Have you found ways to give him satisfaction in his ways?

Sorry for my bad English

[Farmgirl]

To all hotwifes

What kind of actions do you do with your hubby to make him horny after being with your bull or bf? Do you do things that you know make him horny? Do you deny him anything or give him something he ask or want? Have you found ways to give him satisfaction in his ways?

Sorry for my bad English

I don't have to do anything to make my husband horny after I've been with a lover. As soon as he knows I've been with one, he's horny and super happy ! When I walk in the door, he gets a lingering kiss (with cock breath), and then I place his hand between my legs so he can feel the cream pie waiting for him. This is, of course, if we are where we can.
I don't deny my husband anything that he wants, if I do deny him anything, it is because it pushes his buttons.
My goal is to make sure my Number1 is thoroughly satisfied and completely happy in our lifestyle, at all times. I am his Hotwife !

[DCharles]

To all hotwifes

What kind of actions do you do with your hubby to make him horny after being with your bull or bf? Do you do things that you know make him horny? Do you deny him anything or give him something he ask or want? Have you found ways to give him satisfaction in his ways?

Sorry for my bad English

I don't have to do anything to make my husband horny after I've been with a lover. As soon as he knows I've been with one, he's horny and super happy ! When I walk in the door, he gets a lingering kiss (with cock breath), and then I place his hand between my legs so he can feel the cream pie waiting for him. This is, of course, if we are where we can.
I don't deny my husband anything that he wants, if I do deny him anything, it is because it pushes his buttons.
My goal is to make sure my Number1 is thoroughly satisfied and completely happy in our lifestyle, at all times. I am his Hotwife !

I think there is something incredibly erotic about kissing your husband after you have had another guys cock in your mouth.