A virtual cuckold?

[Long Lurker 34]

I can't help thinking that I really screwed things up with L by revealing too much too soon, and then by not being there on Friday when she went.

I was sure that she would have been there last night, as it was really good weather and the weather is looking a bit bad now for the next week. Maybe I've just really badly misread her signals? I'm such a mess.


Or maybe I'm just feeling low after all the emotional stress and exhaustion from the suicide threats and not having slept properly for at least the last 3 nights. She's really worn me down and I'm feeling the fight leaving me.

I'm just feeling so stuck with every option available seemingly to lead to such hard times ahead, I'm not feeling the energy right now to face any of it. Then I see the facade she's putting up and it sometimes feels easier to just give in.

I know I will feel better again after some good rest.

NAC - This where the offer of those rooms comes in. Do not cave in to your 'wife'.
KCCO and breath.

[newaussiecuck]

Yes, we all need time to recharge. When our brains are tired is when we especially overthink.
Guess the real prize is a fresh start. L would be the bonus prize!
Here's hoping of course you're lucky and get both!

Thank you. You have no idea how much this lifted my spirits today if only for a few hours.

I guess it says a lot that I am feeling more knocked off centre from feeling that I've messed up with L for saying too much and not asking her out sooner or at least swapping numbers or something. I guess I wanted to wait until I spoke with the lawyer first. Now that's been done and I know there's no financial consequences if I start seeing her now, I'm really wanting to start seeing her. I guess I can at least know that I've conveyed my feelings towards her enough that she's under no illusions that I am interested. The wait to see how she feels when I ask her out is killing me. Especially to know that I could have seen her last Friday if I'd just left work 20 minutes earlier.

You're right about recharging but my efforts to recharge seem to keep getting sabotaged. I feel guilty now every time I leave the house to go to the park seems to be a struggle and I never know what I'm returning home to. I've read enough to know this is a deliberate strategy she's using. I can't wear headphones in bed anymore as I don't feel safe enough. When trying to sleep I stir everytime she shifts thinking she's getting up. Last night she did get up and put on some clothes, but turned out she was just making a hot drink. Even that left me shaken because of that Friday night.

Sorry it just helps to write down how I'm feeling.

[newaussiecuck]

NAC - This where the offer of those rooms comes in. Do not cave in to your 'wife'.
KCCO and breath.

Thank you, yes I even told my mum the same thing. I told her what my wife is wanting from me. To leave work, go on a long trip with her and stop going to the park alone. I told my mum that if I give in to that then I'll be lost forever. She wholeheartedly agreed.

Thanks for your continued support and encouragement and for "talking me off the ledge" just now. Yes, no matter what I can't give in anymore than I have already. I already feel I've given in too much to her emotional blackmail the other week.

I look back on my change in trajectory since she stopped her computer use and focused on me. The difference feels pretty stark. I need to draw a line in the sand. It's quite scary to realise how insidious and effective her tactics are. I'm just thankful that she rushed it, which has made it all so noticeable. Plus, being alerted to how she's narcissist has helped me to research and understand her tactics so that I can diffuse them better. I won't say it isn't exhausting though.

[newaussiecuck]

OK, one last post for today. This will be a good one.

I just did a half hour workout and feeling much better and stronger for it. Amazing what a difference it's made! My mind is sharp and clear again and spirit is restored. I have the "I'm not taking any crap" spirit back again.

I was thinking of L while working out. I haven't given up on her. I have read that for her culture especially that I should expect to be doing all of the pursuing and win her over. I guess she's done what she's needed to get my attention, and family approval etc. Now it's my turn to "go get her". How am I doing all the pursuing if she's travelling further to meet me at the park time after time and I haven't even asked her out yet. What a fool I've been!

She has a partner (maybe real, maybe made up. I have to assume he's real though). This partner means competition. This partner means I have to win her over from him to me. See how this becomes me doing the pursuing????

If she was single, and I'm married then the power shifts in my favour and she would be forced to do all of the pursuing to win me over. That's backwards. Her partner (real or imagined), plus less frequent visits to the park than I would like, plus at random times so that I have to put the effort in to go everyday lest I miss the chance to see her. This all restores the balance in her favour and now I'm the one putting in the effort and doing the pursuing as it should be. It's magic how that all works out!

Now I just need to see her one more time!

[whosbeensleeping]

That's awesome that the workout restored your spirits.
You definitely have a clear vision now regarding L.
That's good too.

[Long Lurker 34]

NAC - This where the offer of those rooms comes in. Do not cave in to your 'wife'.
KCCO and breath.

Thank you, yes I even told my mum the same thing. I told her what my wife is wanting from me. To leave work, go on a long trip with her and stop going to the park alone. I told my mum that if I give in to that then I'll be lost forever. She wholeheartedly agreed.

Thanks for your continued support and encouragement and for "talking me off the ledge" just now. Yes, no matter what I can't give in anymore than I have already. I already feel I've given in too much to her emotional blackmail the other week.

I look back on my change in trajectory since she stopped her computer use and focused on me. The difference feels pretty stark. I need to draw a line in the sand. It's quite scary to realise how insidious and effective her tactics are. I'm just thankful that she rushed it, which has made it all so noticeable. Plus, being alerted to how she's narcissist has helped me to research and understand her tactics so that I can diffuse them better. I won't say it isn't exhausting though.

NAC - You hang in there and take the dog for a walk or go for a work out anytime the walls feel like they are closing in. And get that go bag packed, make it a priority as you never know when the avalanche could happen.

[newaussiecuck]

That's awesome that the workout restored your spirits.
You definitely have a clear vision now regarding L.
That's good too.

Thank you, yes I hope that I can see her again really soon before I lose my nerve and comitt to things I'm not wanting to commit to right now.

"Wife" this morning as I got out of bed to get ready for work decided she wanted to talk then. "What are we gonna do?"
I wasn't prepared for a talk at 6am, and felt kind of ambushed. We had a talk anyway, but I couldn't help but feeling that I'm talking to a person who isn't well. I guess after talking with L, I can feel a clear sense of what talking to a healthy person feels like. I don't mean to compare her to L in any way other than that.

It's clear her vision of our future is me stopping or slowing down work, and being together a LOT more. I couldn't help but feel her wanting to cut me off from others like I've been saying here recently. She again blamed me for not wanting to do things (as if her refusal to do anything over the last almost 3 years doesn't count). She said "I just want your love and attention", which again fits into the personality issues, she wants it on her terms when it's convenient for her but doesn't care how I feel about it or the tines she pushed me away.

Again she mentioned her computer but downplayed it even further than last talk that Friday night after the suicide threats. She said that she was just doing puzzles and playing bingo etc to pass the time. BULLSHIT!!!!! If that's all it was I would have been fine.

I suggested that she should get a job and go to work so that she's not so isolated at home. That didn't seem to register with her.

I also suggested counselling but of course she was very very reluctant. I had to bring it up several times for it to register. Even the. I don't think she'll go. I left it as saying that I'll book something and go on my own if I have to. I told her there's too much stuff that we need to work through.

She was wanting commitment from me, but I guess she didn't get it.

I would like to get her help before we split if possible, I don’t think she will survive on her own without help if I leave.

Edit: One thing she mentioned which did concern me a little. She said "Somtimes I wish that we didn't have (our dog) so that we could be doing more together. We can't do as much because we have her". It's the first time I've heard her say anything negative about our dog.

[newaussiecuck]

NAC - You hang in there and take the dog for a walk or go for a work out anytime the walls feel like they are closing in. And get that go bag packed, make it a priority as you never know when the avalanche could happen.

Yes I need to make action on my go bag. I don't know how but she somehow seems to have a way of keeping my focus on her (even if it's for horrible reasons), instead of what I need to do or on nicer things such as L. I need to prioritise myself a lot more.

Yes, I will keep up my workouts. I let them slip due to mental exhaustion and lack of sleep. However that was when I most needed them. Also to note, "wife" seemed to take a small exception to my workout. I guess she's seeing it as yet another thing I'm doing by myself instead of spending time with her.

[whosbeensleeping]

It sounds horrific. I think you both know it's over and she's trying to assign you blame.
It sounds like she's making a desperate play not coming from love, but from a kind of clinging to the wreckage.
There is nothing to be gained by pretending.
I also think LL34's thoughts are very much to the point.

[newaussiecuck]

It sounds horrific. I think you both know it's over and she's trying to assign you blame.
It sounds like she's making a desperate play not coming from love, but from a kind of clinging to the wreckage.
There is nothing to be gained by pretending.
I also think LL34's thoughts are very much to the point.

Thank you, both yourself and LL34 have provided great advice and support.

I understand that's exactly what a narcissist will do. They have to assign blame onto others even when it's so clearly her fault. That's what the no computer and doing so much housework and cleaning is all about. She'll be able to say "See how much I do for you and you don't appreciate it". Just like how she's now saying she wants to do all of these things and it's me that doesn't want to do anything. She'll easily forget that she refused a simple 10 minute walk around the block because the lady she was having the online affair with was more interesting.

I read that if the narcissist shifts all of the blame onto you and paints you out as the bad guy to all her family and friends (and including your family and friends), then you should be thankful and take that as a win!

At least I now know what she's doing and why she's doing it, so that I won't take it personally.It will still hurt though, I won't lie.

[newaussiecuck]

I just saw L!!! However it was pretty brief. I got there as early as I possibly could but she had already been there an hour and had to go home and cook dinner. We only had probably 5 to 10 minutes.

We didn't get to really talk much, other people were in earshot, and she kind of left abruptly. I was actually pretty surprised and taken aback when she left.

I had asked her how she was and I got the impression not so great but she corrected herself and said ok before asking how I was. So maybe somthing's going on in the background for her. She just wasn't the normal overly bubbly girl she's been. It's OK to see another side to her.

However, I did manage to give her my mobile number and she took it down. I suggested swapping numbers but she wanted to take mine down and she said she'll text me later when she's at home. She did seem to be in quite a hurry to leave. I guess I kept her waiting too long.

Unfortunately though it kind of didn't go so smoothly. It's a new number that I have and I don't know it yet by heart. She commented about how I don't know my own number and I explained that it was a newish number and I don't remember it yet. I'm sure she thinks I'm a douchbag with a secret phone number. Sigh.

I hope she texts, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she doesn't either. Also, how I'll go about trying to text secretly will be a whole different matter.

I could be about to head into a whole world of hurt, that avalanche might be about to hit. Better get my bag packed.

[whosbeensleeping]

I just saw L!!! However it was pretty brief. I got there as early as I possibly could but she had already been there an hour and had to go home and cook dinner. We only had probably 5 to 10 minutes.

We didn't get to really talk much, other people were in earshot, and she kind of left abruptly. I was actually pretty surprised and taken aback when she left.

I had asked her how she was and I got the impression not so great but she corrected herself and said ok before asking how I was. So maybe somthing's going on in the background for her. She just wasn't the normal overly bubbly girl she's been. It's OK to see another side to her.

However, I did manage to give her my mobile number and she took it down. I suggested swapping numbers but she wanted to take mine down and she said she'll text me later when she's at home. She did seem to be in quite a hurry to leave. I guess I kept her waiting too long.

Unfortunately though it kind of didn't go so smoothly. It's a new number that I have and I don't know it yet by heart. She commented about how I don't know my own number and I explained that it was a newish number and I don't remember it yet. I'm sure she thinks I'm a douchbag with a secret phone number. Sigh.

I hope she texts, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she doesn't either. Also, how I'll go about trying to text secretly will be a whole different matter.

I could be about to head into a whole world of hurt, that avalanche might be about to hit. Better get my bag packed.

Yes.

Sorry to hear about the underwhelming meeting with L. Who knows, she may well be experiencing parallel things to your own.

[newaussiecuck]

I just saw L!!! However it was pretty brief. I got there as early as I possibly could but she had already been there an hour and had to go home and cook dinner. We only had probably 5 to 10 minutes.

We didn't get to really talk much, other people were in earshot, and she kind of left abruptly. I was actually pretty surprised and taken aback when she left.

I had asked her how she was and I got the impression not so great but she corrected herself and said ok before asking how I was. So maybe somthing's going on in the background for her. She just wasn't the normal overly bubbly girl she's been. It's OK to see another side to her.

However, I did manage to give her my mobile number and she took it down. I suggested swapping numbers but she wanted to take mine down and she said she'll text me later when she's at home. She did seem to be in quite a hurry to leave. I guess I kept her waiting too long.

Unfortunately though it kind of didn't go so smoothly. It's a new number that I have and I don't know it yet by heart. She commented about how I don't know my own number and I explained that it was a newish number and I don't remember it yet. I'm sure she thinks I'm a douchbag with a secret phone number. Sigh.

I hope she texts, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she doesn't either. Also, how I'll go about trying to text secretly will be a whole different matter.

I could be about to head into a whole world of hurt, that avalanche might be about to hit. Better get my bag packed.

Yes.

Sorry to hear about the underwhelming meeting with L. Who knows, she may well be experiencing parallel things to your own.

Yeah it was great to see her and be able to give my number (I hope she got it down right. She did check it but I would have felt better if she had called my phone to make sure). It's clear she didn't want to give hers right away. Maybe will make me wait a bit for her message. Isn't there some kind of unwritten rules around that now. About waiting for some time to not appear too eager. I'm sure there is, especially for a girl to text a guy.

Honestly it could be one of a thousand different things and I've probably gone through most of them in my head in that short time since.

I have a solid top 11 that could explain it.

In regards to parallels of what I'm going through. Interestingly she did make a comment last time after I described what's been happening. She said something like "Why do they use our good qualities against us?". So I do wonder if she's experienced something not so great herself from her partner.

[Long Lurker 34]

I just saw L!!! However it was pretty brief. I got there as early as I possibly could but she had already been there an hour and had to go home and cook dinner. We only had probably 5 to 10 minutes.

We didn't get to really talk much, other people were in earshot, and she kind of left abruptly. I was actually pretty surprised and taken aback when she left.

I had asked her how she was and I got the impression not so great but she corrected herself and said ok before asking how I was. So maybe somthing's going on in the background for her. She just wasn't the normal overly bubbly girl she's been. It's OK to see another side to her.

However, I did manage to give her my mobile number and she took it down. I suggested swapping numbers but she wanted to take mine down and she said she'll text me later when she's at home. She did seem to be in quite a hurry to leave. I guess I kept her waiting too long.

Unfortunately though it kind of didn't go so smoothly. It's a new number that I have and I don't know it yet by heart. She commented about how I don't know my own number and I explained that it was a newish number and I don't remember it yet. I'm sure she thinks I'm a douchbag with a secret phone number. Sigh.

I hope she texts, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she doesn't either. Also, how I'll go about trying to text secretly will be a whole different matter.

I could be about to head into a whole world of hurt, that avalanche might be about to hit. Better get my bag packed.

Yes.

Sorry to hear about the underwhelming meeting with L. Who knows, she may well be experiencing parallel things to your own.

Yeah it was great to see her and be able to give my number (I hope she got it down right. She did check it but I would have felt better if she had called my phone to make sure). It's clear she didn't want to give hers right away. Maybe will make me wait a bit for her message. Isn't there some kind of unwritten rules around that now. About waiting for some time to not appear too eager. I'm sure there is, especially for a girl to text a guy.

Honestly it could be one of a thousand different things and I've probably gone through most of them in my head in that short time since.

I have a solid top 11 that could explain it.

In regards to parallels of what I'm going through. Interestingly she did make a comment last time after I described what's been happening. She said something like "Why do they use our good qualities against us?". So I do wonder if she's experienced something not so great herself from her partner.

NAC - I recently viewed a segment about Ryan Reynolds newish movie where he plays a secondary character in a video game. Effectively it all boils down to "YOU are the main character in YOUR own storey line and everyone else in the world are your secondary characters." This holds true for you, NAC, your "wife" and L too, as you a secondary character in theirs.
Remember - pack go bag, go for walks, work out and breath.

[newaussiecuck]

It's now just after 10am the next morning and still no message from L. She did say that she'll message when she gets home. As mentioned though I guess there's lots of "rules" around messaging and I can see why she might take steps to appear not so keen. Although we checked she could have got my number wrong. I'm trying to breathe and remain patient and hopeful but I also have to be prepared that perhaps she's lost interest from waiting so long for me to make a move, or that I completely misread her signals all along.

I would feel much easier in waiting if things didn't feel so off yesterday when L was leaving.

I do wonder if she spotted that I'm still wearing my wedding ring maybe thinking I'd have taken it off after the meeting with lawyer last week

I just can't shake the feeling that I've screwed things up with L.

[newaussiecuck]

NAC - I recently viewed a segment about Ryan Reynolds newish movie where he plays a secondary character in a video game. Effectively it all boils down to "YOU are the main character in YOUR own storey line and everyone else in the world are your secondary characters." This holds true for you, NAC, your "wife" and L too, as you a secondary character in theirs.
Remember - pack go bag, go for walks, work out and breath.

Thank you, I do have to try and look after myself more. I'm really concerned at how easily "wife" has managed to railroad me and worm her way back in while at the same time take away the strength I had built up and make me doubt what it is that I want.

I don't know why I didn't just say yesterday that I want out when she gave me the chance. I guess time of morning, being ambushed, needing to just end the conversation so I could get ready for work. After the conversation yesterday she said "OK then I'll stay, I won't leave".

Yes, I need to breathe and think of myself and prepare for all hell to break loose.

[newaussiecuck]

3:30pm the next day and looks like there'll be no messages at least for today. I guess she does have my number now if she ever feels inclined to message. She seems to have a habit of going to the park when I least expect it so maybe will do the same with shooting a message. However, I think I'll bump into her again at the park sometime before she ever messages. I have a feeling she's just not comfortable sharing her number just yet.

As LL34 said, I need to just care about what I'm doing and less about what "wife" or L is doing.

Having a really low day today and trying hard to stave off thoughts of how much easier it would be to just give in. The cold wintery weather isn't helping much either.

Edit: Apparently there's advice around suggesting waiting 2 or 3 days before texting someone that gave their number so as to not appear over eager. This is only day 1. So I'll just have to go about my business and see what happens. Pulling myself out of this funk is first priority.

[Long Lurker 34]

3:30pm the next day and looks like there'll be no messages at least for today. I guess she does have my number now if she ever feels inclined to message. She seems to have a habit of going to the park when I least expect it so maybe will do the same with shooting a message. However, I think I'll bump into her again at the park sometime before she ever messages. I have a feeling she's just not comfortable sharing her number just yet.

As LL34 said, I need to just care about what I'm doing and less about what "wife" or L is doing.

Having a really low day today and trying hard to stave off thoughts of how much easier it would be to just give in. The cold wintery weather isn't helping much either.

Edit: Apparently there's advice around suggesting waiting 2 or 3 days before texting someone that gave their number so as to not appear over eager. This is only day 1. So I'll just have to go about my business and see what happens. Pulling myself out of this funk is first priority.

NAC - Winter! Gee I guess you are really down under. Go for a long walk with the dog and really feel that wind cut your face like a razor, with the snow stinging has it hits so hard it hurts. Then once you are inside have a steaming hot shower and feel good about yourself.
Breath man breath. One step in front of the other.

[newaussiecuck]

3:30pm the next day and looks like there'll be no messages at least for today. I guess she does have my number now if she ever feels inclined to message. She seems to have a habit of going to the park when I least expect it so maybe will do the same with shooting a message. However, I think I'll bump into her again at the park sometime before she ever messages. I have a feeling she's just not comfortable sharing her number just yet.

As LL34 said, I need to just care about what I'm doing and less about what "wife" or L is doing.

Having a really low day today and trying hard to stave off thoughts of how much easier it would be to just give in. The cold wintery weather isn't helping much either.

Edit: Apparently there's advice around suggesting waiting 2 or 3 days before texting someone that gave their number so as to not appear over eager. This is only day 1. So I'll just have to go about my business and see what happens. Pulling myself out of this funk is first priority.

NAC - Winter! Gee I guess you are really down under. Go for a long walk with the dog and really feel that wind cut your face like a razor, with the snow stinging has it hits so hard it hurts. Then once you are inside have a steaming hot shower and feel good about yourself.
Breath man breath. One step in front of the other.

Thanks, yes feeling a lot better today after a decent sleep.

I read a little more of the book and it's also helped me realise I'm not going crazy. It's just hard seeing the complete turnaround she's made and seeing someone acting so perfectly (when she's not acting crazy). When we've spoken she's minimised the problems and made me think I'm somehow the problem.

Reading in the book how those are classic tactics has helped.

From the book:
"Minimization A CN will minimize your painful experience with them, which makes you doubt and question your own feelings and reality".

“This tactic is a unique kind of denial coupled with rationalization. When using this maneuver, the aggressor is attempting to assert that his behavior isn’t really as harmful or irresponsible as someone else may be claiming.”

"Many victims wonder if they are blowing things out of proportion, thinking their ex or parent or coworker is a CN. Women I talked to wonder if they are to blame and the CN was actually a great love who they will regret leaving. Many wonder if they, themselves, are narcissists. CNs will use your doubts against you, saying you are overly dramatic, too sensitive, you don’t take responsibility for yourself, you blame everyone instead, etc. The thing to remember is you can trust yourself. Your pain is real. Allow yourself to recognize this. If something feels off, that is because it is."

This part really floored me and made my chin drop to the floor, so will post it again:

"Many wonder if they, themselves, are narcissists." - I had just spent a few hours wondering this exact same thing. Questioning whether it was me who has been selfish all along and whether I'm the narcissist. I get told that all the time, that I'm selfish and only thinking of myself. I can see now that this was 100% projection.

[newaussiecuck]

L won't be messaging. I realise now that I said too much, and with the way I fumbled giving my number (not knowing my own number) she won't feel that she can trust me.

If I'm lucky I will see her again sometime but I think she will rightly keep her distance from me, at least until I've sorted out my mess.

[whosbeensleeping]

L may well do exactly that, but also that line about them using our good qualities against us tells me she may have a better knowledge of what you're experiencing than you can know. It's quite possible she sees you in a similar light as you do her, as a ray of hope.
If she's also experiencing abuse of any kind it may be hard for her to communicate and to get away. The family may also be hoping for her to make a break.
However she may not yet have your good fortune of a counselor and the knowledge you are gleaning from your reading.
All supposition of course, but her words did speak volumes to me.
That said, I believe you are right to focus on the immediate mess and if she's there at the end of it then so be it.

[newaussiecuck]

L may well do exactly that, but also that line about them using our good qualities against us tells me she may have a better knowledge of what you're experiencing than you can know. It's quite possible she sees you in a similar light as you do her, as a ray of hope.
If she's also experiencing abuse of any kind it may be hard for her to communicate and to get away. The family may also be hoping for her to make a break.
However she may not yet have your good fortune of a counselor and the knowledge you are gleaning from your reading.
All supposition of course, but her words did speak volumes to me.
That said, I believe you are right to focus on the immediate mess and if she's there at the end of it then so be it.

Thank you, that was actually very uplifting to read that.

Yes, it's possible that somthing is going on with her. Who really knows.

Whether it's just platonic or more I really do enjoy spending time with her so I do hope I haven't scared her away for good.

She clearly didn't want to talk with me in depth last time I saw her. It was when people were leaving that she kind of left in a hurry too.

Lastly, I just booked in a counselling session for myself with potential for relationship counselling if wife agrees. It's for narcissist counselling with a psychologist. I'm hoping he can validate or rule out my suspicions.

[Long Lurker 34]

L may well do exactly that, but also that line about them using our good qualities against us tells me she may have a better knowledge of what you're experiencing than you can know. It's quite possible she sees you in a similar light as you do her, as a ray of hope.
If she's also experiencing abuse of any kind it may be hard for her to communicate and to get away. The family may also be hoping for her to make a break.
However she may not yet have your good fortune of a counselor and the knowledge you are gleaning from your reading.
All supposition of course, but her words did speak volumes to me.
That said, I believe you are right to focus on the immediate mess and if she's there at the end of it then so be it.

Thank you, that was actually very uplifting to read that.

Yes, it's possible that somthing is going on with her. Who really knows.

Whether it's just platonic or more I really do enjoy spending time with her so I do hope I haven't scared her away for good.

She clearly didn't want to talk with me in depth last time I saw her. It was when people were leaving that she kind of left in a hurry too.

Lastly, I just booked in a counselling session for myself with potential for relationship counselling if wife agrees. It's for narcissist counselling with a psychologist. I'm hoping he can validate or rule out my suspicions.

NAC - Excellent news.

[newaussiecuck]

It's hard to shake the feeling that "wife's" suicide threats the other week shook me up to the point where it's ruined things with L.

Things certainly weren't the same the next time I saw her after that. Still no message from her. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to see her again one day, and maybe I've just blown things out of proportion, but I don't feel good about things with her as they stand right now. Nothing to do but let time pass and focus on what I need to do with the psychologist this week.

[whosbeensleeping]

You may have touched her own wound with your frank openness, something she may not have been ready for. But at the same time it's likely she will respect you for your honesty.
Feelings are funny things, and they certainly are not static. Maybe the arc of her feelings is currently out of sight but will come back into view later when the time is right.
Keep focused on getting strong and staying open, and the possibilities are endless.