Hotwife going out alone/why is it too difficult for me?

[Open2it]

[Butterfly411980]

I love the intrigue of reclaiming my wife and the competitive battle to have her pussy….. that competition is like pouring gas over the fire!
Dont underestimate me my friends lol!
I’ll only tolerate secondary as long as it creates fuel for my internal fire.

With that in mind, my wife has earned my trust 100% of the time…. She is the most magnificent woman I have ever known!

Reese, your trust in Mrs Reese is well placed and not in question, I think the question is does Mrs Reese trust herself now. For 15 years she has been a hotwife for the main purpose of fueling your fire and this competition you speak of seemed more fantasy/role play than reality as nobody could truly compete with you. Now she has professed her love and need for another man and she didn't say that for your benefit, she said it forJake and she meant it and it seems to have rattled her now. For 15 years if you ever asked her to stop the game, she's always said she'd stop...I'm curious if she still feels as confident in her resolve to do so now. The fact she felt in a dangerous place emotionally this morning, it may be a question she'll need to answer for real sooner than later. This lifestyle sure can turn things sideways in a hurry. You two are an amazing pair and hope your journey keeps going exactly how you two hope for it to.

[BallSpanking]

🥵 ... Whew!

[Farmgirl]

Jake was very emotional and telling me how much he loves the fact that I am committed to him as I am to hubby,
But when we were having sex, he felt so amazing he made me orgasm as only hubby has ever done!
I held on to him telling him how much I wanted him in my life and I whispered to him how much I loved him too!
I don’t know how to process this,
I have truly let my emotions overwhelm me.
I need to go home soon and let hubby get me back to my safe zone.

It would seem Jake believes yours and his relationship is on par with yours and Reese rather than secondary to you and Reese....that's a problem, no?

For now, and probably for some time going forward, Reese is the one who has the secondary relationship. I'm not saying that'll be true in the future, but it is likely true right now.

I don't see it that way at all. Loving two men doesn't mean that one replaces the other, love isn't limited like that. Her primary relationship will remain that with Reese because that is her husband, her boyfriend doesn't need to take from that. He is an addition to it.

[Butterfly411980]

Jake was very emotional and telling me how much he loves the fact that I am committed to him as I am to hubby,
But when we were having sex, he felt so amazing he made me orgasm as only hubby has ever done!
I held on to him telling him how much I wanted him in my life and I whispered to him how much I loved him too!
I don’t know how to process this,
I have truly let my emotions overwhelm me.
I need to go home soon and let hubby get me back to my safe zone.

It would seem Jake believes yours and his relationship is on par with yours and Reese rather than secondary to you and Reese....that's a problem, no?

For now, and probably for some time going forward, Reese is the one who has the secondary relationship. I'm not saying that'll be true in the future, but it is likely true right now.

I don't see it that way at all. Loving two men doesn't mean that one replaces the other, love isn't limited like that. Her primary relationship will remain that with Reese because that is her husband, her boyfriend doesn't need to take from that. He is an addition to it.

I often read people make the argument that its ok to love more than one person as love is an infinite thing and in a vacuum that is correct. But life is not infinite, time is not infinite and thus a person must ultimately choose who they love the most and allocate their time accordingly. And yes, people could then say time could be divided equally amongst those they love, but then that assumes those that they love are willing to have the person they love equally shared. I don't see Mr Reese being the type who is willing to share his love equally. He seems willing to share only so far as it meets the needs of the game Mr and Mrs Reese have chosen to play together. So though love can be infinite in theory, in true practice, it's just not that simple. I think that is the problem Mrs Reese is running straight into. She seemingly has two men she has now professed to love and need. Ultimately the choices made in life always prove out who and what you love the most. That's what makes affairs of the heart so difficult and scary. You just simply cannot hide behind "I'll love everyone equally" because someone is eventually going to make you choose.

[lkh96]

I'm gonna wait for the Reese's introspection....

[reese]

Hello everyone,
I wish to respond to some of the comments…..
Before I do, I want to also include that my wife and I had some well needed discussions about the current situation that we are currently experiencing.
Hopefully, I can help give some insight and understanding to some of the comments posted.

Our discussion….. my wife explained to me that she was definitely overcome with emotions after she and her BF were sharing intimacy! She explained to me that as Farmgirl posted earlier…. I make complete her! I wish she was posting this part as she may explain it better, but she emphasized that she can’t live without me…. I am her heart and soul.
I have NO doubt that I am her primary soulmate…. She’s definitely feeling the NRE with her lover now that she’s told him about our situation.
She has also reminded me that she’s felt love many times before…. And in the beginning she was blindsided by that NRE butterfly effect that she currently feels in it her BF.
But there will be NO ultimatums in the future, she has complete confidence in our marriage… and no matter how much intensity she feels for her bf, she will never give up or allow our marriage to suffer or fail.
I believe her 100%
I know her better than she understands herself at times as she would admit…
She asked me for the 1000th time since she met this man, is all of this too much for me… or us?
She has safety mechanisms in place… I know this…
Do I worry? Yes!
Do I feel insecure that she may lose her love for me and end out marriage bc her lover is younger and very handsome as she claims? NO!
I am cautious and very intuitive…. I know the warnings signals…. We have completely open dialogue and she is never afraid to share her feelings with me.
As she informed me last night….. she can still walk away from this… if it ever becomes a problem for her she will walk away like she’s done many times in the past…
Her marriage is her greatest accomplishment other than having a child… she is proud of her marriage and its success..
No man will take that away from her bc selfishly….
She will protect her marriage from ever failing .
I also feel the same way she does… we both love being life partners in marriage, we are each others best friends….there are parts of her life that took me years to breakdown and help her navigate through that came with a deep bond and trust….. she doesn’t give that to many…. And she has no reason to allow another man to take that from her. She is perfectly content with being my wife and loving me…. Her bf…. emotional love …. She can give him that…
But she doesn’t want to give him the part of her soul that she loves giving to me.


I hope this helps everyone understand where we are at this point of our marriage.
I’m sure she’ll be posting soon… she’s sleeping still as I’m sure she’s very exhausted from a busy weekend.

[lkh96]

Well put Mr Reese.
You have her heart. Her bf is the current owner of a part of her heart that is solely reserved for the game.
It's like a room in your house that is rented out to tenants. They will come and go as seasons change, but the house owners remain the same.

[zoe]

I Orgasmed again in her mouth she swallowed all of me, which is still a major surprised to me….

Looks like mrs reese has a new found erotic desire

[BallSpanking]

I have a sense the bond between you transcends the physical.
Making love transports you to the spiritual, where your souls then come together.

[Farmgirl]

I often read people make the argument that its ok to love more than one person as love is an infinite thing and in a vacuum that is correct. But life is not infinite, time is not infinite and thus a person must ultimately choose who they love the most and allocate their time accordingly. And yes, people could then say time could be divided equally amongst those they love, but then that assumes those that they love are willing to have the person they love equally shared. I don't see Mr Reese being the type who is willing to share his love equally. He seems willing to share only so far as it meets the needs of the game Mr and Mrs Reese have chosen to play together. So though love can be infinite in theory, in true practice, it's just not that simple. I think that is the problem Mrs Reese is running straight into. She seemingly has two men she has now professed to love and need. Ultimately the choices made in life always prove out who and what you love the most. That's what makes affairs of the heart so difficult and scary. You just simply cannot hide behind "I'll love everyone equally" because someone is eventually going to make you choose.

You are either putting words in my mouth or misunderstanding what I said.
Love is infinite, that is sure. I never said that love is "equal", that is on you. I would venture to say that no one on this earth has "equal" love for others. Love has a hierarchy to it. My Number1 is first in my life above my boyfriend, just as Reese is first in the life of Ms_Reese. She and I have a husband and a boyfriend, we love them each, but not equally. Our husbands are our first and primary love.
Be careful that you don't project your fears on others, and don't let your fears prevent you from seeing that others can love more than one person. If this is a fear of yours in your marriage, there are ways to communicate together and build the trust to allay those fears.

[Farmgirl]

Her marriage is her greatest accomplishment other than having a child… she is proud of her marriage and its success..
No man will take that away from her bc selfishly….
She will protect her marriage from ever failing .
I also feel the same way she does… we both love being life partners in marriage, we are each others best friends….there are parts of her life that took me years to breakdown and help her navigate through that came with a deep bond and trust….. she doesn’t give that to many…. And she has no reason to allow another man to take that from her. She is perfectly content with being my wife and loving me…. Her bf…. emotional love …. She can give him that…
But she doesn’t want to give him the part of her soul that she loves giving to me.

Reese,
I loved your whole post! What I quoted here is exactly what I was alluding to in my comment, but you said it so much better. I'm sure you made Ms_Reese smile and her heart beat a little faster, I know you made me and I'm sure several other Hotwives smile along with her !

[Open2it]

Great post Reese! You and Mrs Reese definitely have your priorities properly ordered to enjoy this lifestyle to the fullest.

[mrs_reese]

Good Morning,
I took a break this weekend with Christmas shopping and sleeping. Lots of supports from our friends here, Farmgirl most especially with her wonderful words of encouragement and support to hubbys posts also.
Thankful for my husband, posting his thoughts, do you all now understand why this man is my forever!
Jake won’t ever come close to replacing my hubby.
He won’t ever be allowed the opportunity.
He understands this a sive emphasized that he will always be someone who compliments our marriage.
He has had to accept these terms and he does and he’s definitely not complaining.
I’ve asked him for exclusivity, I am his significant girlfriend and he is my significant boyfriend.
It was important for him to have a label, and I have no problem with this arrangement.

We’ve had talks, hubby and I and Jake and I about how we will proceed. Obviously, hubbys input matters most, but I also explained to hubby that if this is what he really wants, he has to continue to support me as Jake is included more in my life. I can’t just spend time with Jake as a side item.
He will want more and more of me as time goes by.
I decided to wear my ring whenever I am
With Jake, as a commitment to husband who will always be part of my life even when I am with Jake.
There are no exceptions!
In public when the subject comes up, I don’t really care what others think! The nice thing about growing older is that you stop worrying what others think.
My husband and I are in an open relationship and I have the most amazing marriage a woman could ever wish for.
I decided no one else needs to know that I am a hot wife who has the permission of hubby to be with others while he stays exclusive to me.
Thank you, to all who have written the past few days, I really enjoy reading your posts, they are encouraging and also help me gain some perspective.

More about jake- he wanted to have a quickie this weekend and I love this aspect of my relationship with him.
Sneaking in a few moments allows me to carry on with my busy life and also spend significant time with hubby.
With that being said, After work, i am stopping by Jake’s - he works from home today. I’m really craving his big penis inside of me. A quickie and then I’ll go home to wrap gifts,
I’m sure hubby will read this post and be all over me when he comes home

[4herpleasure89]

Be careful that you don't project your fears on others, and don't let your fears prevent you from seeing that others can love more than one person. If this is a fear of yours in your marriage, there are ways to communicate together and build the trust to allay those fears.

I think we all tend to project when coming to this forum, whether it’s our fears or our sunny optimism. But in spite of the strength of our relationship and communication skills, it is undeniable that there is a dark side to this lifestyle and it’s wise to be vigilant to protect our primary relationship.

[veub]

Jake was very emotional and telling me how much he loves the fact that I am committed to him as I am to hubby,
But when we were having sex, he felt so amazing he made me orgasm as only hubby has ever done!
I held on to him telling him how much I wanted him in my life and I whispered to him how much I loved him too!
I don’t know how to process this,
I have truly let my emotions overwhelm me.
I need to go home soon and let hubby get me back to my safe zone.

It would seem Jake believes yours and his relationship is on par with yours and Reese rather than secondary to you and Reese....that's a problem, no?

For now, and probably for some time going forward, Reese is the one who has the secondary relationship. I'm not saying that'll be true in the future, but it is likely true right now.

I don't see it that way at all. Loving two men doesn't mean that one replaces the other, love isn't limited like that. Her primary relationship will remain that with Reese because that is her husband, her boyfriend doesn't need to take from that. He is an addition to it.

I never said that Reese would be replaced. I said that the primary relationship for now will be Jake. To me it seems likely that, a least for a short time, her thoughts, time and efforts will be primarily directed to enhancing her relationship with Jake. Anyone in this situation has to put more effort into building the new relationship than the old established one that she has no fear of losing.

[BallSpanking]

The fact is that these experiences are transformative. They change who we were, our concepts of what is, what social bounds mean, etc. These experiences trigger existential questions as to our own identity and beliefs, and our individual sexuality (and its boundaries).
It can be deeply unsettling and unwelcome to someone otherwise well adjusted or not curious, certainly a serious complication. So just because those of us who share the kink and have found a way to live with it, that does not in any way mean our partner is ready nor even desirous of partaking in an activity which will be transformational, and whose outcome is uncertain.
My hat is off to those women willing and able to undertake such a potentially risky endeavor, and work it out as successfully as Mrs Reese and her husband.

[zoe]

Perhaps this is life style maturation but whatever it is Mrs. Reese, just like Farmgirl, appears to be in a good place

[Open2it]

Perhaps this is life style maturation but whatever it is Mrs. Reese, just like Farmgirl, appears to be in a good place

Along with Mr Reese and Jake. It takes everyone being on the same page for this level of maturity (and fun).

[Farmgirl]

I never said that Reese would be replaced. I said that the primary relationship for now will be Jake. To me it seems likely that, a least for a short time, her thoughts, time and efforts will be primarily directed to enhancing her relationship with Jake. Anyone in this situation has to put more effort into building the new relationship than the old established one that she has no fear of losing.

Thank you for the clarification .

[mrs_reese]

Perhaps this is life style maturation but whatever it is Mrs. Reese, just like Farmgirl, appears to be in a good place

I think so too Zoe,
Compared to all the emotional craziness from years past

[Farmgirl]

I think we all tend to project when coming to this forum, whether it’s our fears or our sunny optimism. But in spite of the strength of our relationship and communication skills, it is undeniable that there is a dark side to this lifestyle and it’s wise to be vigilant to protect our primary relationship.

I don't see a "dark side", but I do agree each couple should work to maintain their primary relationship.

[mrs_reese]

Perhaps this is life style maturation but whatever it is Mrs. Reese, just like Farmgirl, appears to be in a good place

Along with Mr Reese and Jake. It takes everyone being on the same page for this level of maturity (and fun).

Jake is the one how probably has the most difficult time with this as we’ve had years of understanding how to adapt and make changes.
But yea we all have to be dedicated to communicating

[mrs_reese]

So I just came home full of Jake’s sex.
He didn’t want me to leave, but I need to wrap gifts and promised hubby dinner treat / me.
I don’t really tell Jake much about how amazing sex is w hubby after I’m freshly fucked.
I just tell him part of the fun hubby is reclaiming his wife,
He wanted to know what about me?
How can I turn it on and off from Jake to hubby.
I told him many years of marriage, hubby and I have a marriage like not many others.
He’s still trying to figure it all out.
I kissed him, the said he loved me, and honestly it was a little awkward telling him I loved him back.
I thought about it on the drive back and i think i feel more emotional when he’s making love to me.
Fucking me, it felt more like just sex and pleasure.
I think this girl has to get her act together

[hornedhubby]

You are quite the enigmatic and unique woman, Mrs Reese, and fortunate to have such an adoring and understanding hubby. Thanks for sharing so vividly. You've never been sexier.

Happy holidays and best wishes to both of you.