Figuring it out

For hotwives and the men who adore them.
Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Thu Oct 24, 2024 5:38 am

venus-can99 wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2024 6:46 am
Thank you for this honest post LFA - laying bare yours and A's emotions. Thanks for sharing your experiences along the way always with a smile, polite and funny comments. Wish you, A and G the very best in all your future pursuits.
Thank you Venus.

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Thu Oct 24, 2024 5:39 am

hoping_she_will_1day wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2024 6:54 am
What a difficult message to navigate, and you did it beautifully. It's been a magnificent thrill to ride along in your wake as you've shared your wonderful ride with us, and personally I can't thank you enough. The dynamic between you, your awesome husband and your lover G has been one that many envy.
I absolutely respect the move to reaffirm the strength of your marriage. Total respect to you, to Adventurer and to G, and I wish you nothing but blessings in the future.
Thank you friend. I appreciate your (and Ms. Curious') support.

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Thu Oct 24, 2024 5:40 am

Long Lurker 34 wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2024 7:00 am

LFA
- I can't say it any better than VC99 other than to add that you, A & G will be missed and it would be great if you dropped by once in awhile. :up: :up: :D
- The only other thing I would ask is if you and A would consider moving your threads to the Library so they shouldn't get deleted if no more posts should happen.
Thanks Long Lurker. I'll think about that idea. I have learned in my years here that posts and posters come and go, so I'm sure this thread will be replaced with others and the void wouldn't be too great. But I also like the idea of having my own hot wife history recorded for me to revisit from time to time. So maybe :)

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Thu Oct 24, 2024 5:42 am

Fox wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2024 9:57 am
I haven’t been posted but have been following the whole time. I can completely understand what you guys are going through. In our case it was Shirley who decided to stop. I am the one having a very hard time with it ending. It’s a very difficult thing to give up. I wish all 3 of you the best and hope you keep us posted.
I'm sorry for what you are going through. I can understand completely wanting to support your spouse and her needs, but also having your own feelings about the matter. I'm sending you a virtual hug. I wish you and Shirley all the best as well.

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Thu Oct 24, 2024 5:43 am

Late wrote:
Wed Oct 23, 2024 7:08 pm
I am as happy to support your decision as I was to read about your adventures. Yours was always one of the first ones I would look for when I came here. You will be missed, but then you already knew that. Take care and continue to enjoy life and each other.

Late
Thank you Late. It is nice to know that our posts have been enjoyed and appreciated. I do plan to still be a lurker so don't miss me too much :)

Seekingmore12
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Seekingmore12 » Thu Oct 24, 2024 6:22 am

Where do I start…

First happy hot wife anniversary to you and adventurer, I would include myself here however we simply did not make it to Friday for reasons lfa has so eloquently described.

I will always and forever cherish the memories the 3 of us made over 3 years and 340 ish days.

As lfa and adventurer know, along with a few others, my redline has always been Lfa’s happiness and her loving marriage, I will do nothing intentionally to interfere in their amazing marriage. I am amazed with the love they share and the deep commitment they share for not only themselves their family as well.

While this chapter looks like it is about to turn the final page, know that lfa and adventurer will always be in my heart and will be considered life long friends.

I am grateful to them both for bringing me into their adventure and wish them nothing but the best in whichever direction they decide together.

G

Long Lurker 34
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Long Lurker 34 » Thu Oct 24, 2024 7:21 am

Seekingmore12 wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2024 6:22 am
Where do I start…

First happy hot wife anniversary to you and adventurer, I would include myself here however we simply did not make it to Friday for reasons lfa has so eloquently described.

I will always and forever cherish the memories the 3 of us made over 3 years and 340 ish days.

As lfa and adventurer know, along with a few others, my redline has always been Lfa’s happiness and her loving marriage, I will do nothing intentionally to interfere in their amazing marriage. I am amazed with the love they share and the deep commitment they share for not only themselves their family as well.

While this chapter looks like it is about to turn the final page, know that lfa and adventurer will always be in my heart and will be considered life long friends.

I am grateful to them both for bringing me into their adventure and wish them nothing but the best in whichever direction they decide together.

G
G
- I think it would be fair to say that for most husbands and their HW's or potential ones, that are looking for a longer term potential BF for her, your respect for their marriage and situation is the near perfect balance that is very much sought after. :up: :up: :D
- I hope you will be able to have another arrangement in the future as fulfilling as the one you have had with LFA and A. :D :D
- Please continue to drop by and post.

Fox
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Fox » Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:40 am

Seekingmore12 wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2024 6:22 am
Where do I start…

First happy hot wife anniversary to you and adventurer, I would include myself here however we simply did not make it to Friday for reasons lfa has so eloquently described.

I will always and forever cherish the memories the 3 of us made over 3 years and 340 ish days.

As lfa and adventurer know, along with a few others, my redline has always been Lfa’s happiness and her loving marriage, I will do nothing intentionally to interfere in their amazing marriage. I am amazed with the love they share and the deep commitment they share for not only themselves their family as well.

While this chapter looks like it is about to turn the final page, know that lfa and adventurer will always be in my heart and will be considered life long friends.

I am grateful to them both for bringing me into their adventure and wish them nothing but the best in whichever direction they decide together.

G
The one scenario that Shirley has maintained would bring her back to being a hotwife is if she found 1 guy that would basically be exclusive to her and basically treat her/us the way you have with LFA and Adventurer. Maybe some day.

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Mr1SexyGILF
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Mr1SexyGILF » Thu Oct 24, 2024 11:35 am

As a happy member of the Hasbeen Hotwife Husband community. I seldom post here any more.

I was thrilled to be a friendly encourager in the blossoming of your sexuality, and have very much enjoyed the detailed journaling of your adventures.

I’m betting your days of Ethical NonMonogamy are far from over, but I can certainly understand the pause.

My very best wishes to all 3 of you.

Mr GILF
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

venus-can99
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by venus-can99 » Thu Oct 24, 2024 11:52 am

G - I have long admired the respect that comes across for lfa, A and their relationship in your posts. Wishing you the best in your future endeavors

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coastalkid
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by coastalkid » Thu Oct 24, 2024 2:12 pm

Wow! I admire you! You don't often read about a wife honoring her husband's request to stop. You've had a bunch experiences and like you said some were amazing and some were no so great. I have to think that your husband has had some experiences himself, similar and completely different. I have a feeling his experiences have led him to having lost interest in having a hot wife. It is refreshing to read that you're sensitive enough to understand the need pause or stop altogether. He's a lucky man to have a wife that deep in her heart knows what is best for the both of you.
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Fri Oct 25, 2024 5:57 am

Seekingmore12 wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2024 6:22 am
Where do I start…

First happy hot wife anniversary to you and adventurer, I would include myself here however we simply did not make it to Friday for reasons lfa has so eloquently described.

I will always and forever cherish the memories the 3 of us made over 3 years and 340 ish days.

As lfa and adventurer know, along with a few others, my redline has always been Lfa’s happiness and her loving marriage, I will do nothing intentionally to interfere in their amazing marriage. I am amazed with the love they share and the deep commitment they share for not only themselves their family as well.

While this chapter looks like it is about to turn the final page, know that lfa and adventurer will always be in my heart and will be considered life long friends.

I am grateful to them both for bringing me into their adventure and wish them nothing but the best in whichever direction they decide together.

G
You have made my morning with this sweet note. Know that we are grateful for you as well. I'm glad the OHWs community is giving you some awesome credit in their responses to this. You are one in a million. Thank you for the past 4 years.

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Fri Oct 25, 2024 6:04 am

coastalkid wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2024 2:12 pm
Wow! I admire you! You don't often read about a wife honoring her husband's request to stop. You've had a bunch experiences and like you said some were amazing and some were no so great. I have to think that your husband has had some experiences himself, similar and completely different. I have a feeling his experiences have led him to having lost interest in having a hot wife. It is refreshing to read that you're sensitive enough to understand the need pause or stop altogether. He's a lucky man to have a wife that deep in her heart knows what is best for the both of you.
Thank you, although I kind of want to say "of course I honoured his request."

Adventurer is my person. He's been with me through so much of life and has found me beautiful when I was 9 months pregnant, when I've been down and out with COVID, and through the craziness of perimenopause. He's been the calming influence when I'm panicked about something, and the encouragement I need when I doubt my own abilities. He's my greatest cheerleader, my constant source of support, my best friend, my partner in parenting and life, and a damn fine lover too. Really, he's the best decision I've ever made.

Yes, it was a big ask from him for me to hit pause on this lifestyle, but I know that he wrestled with this for a long time before he talked to me about it. If he needs it, I am giving it. That's just how we roll :)

Woodscrew
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Woodscrew » Sun Oct 27, 2024 4:08 pm

LFA, A & G - Like so many others, I have followed your fabulous story of exploration and have been amazed by how well you all communicated with us and each other. You are an inspiration and guiding light - even (perhaps particularly) in the way that you are handling your decision to pause/stop.
Thank you all for being that inspiration and for sharing your journey so eloquently. It has been highly entertaining but it is also the nearest thing I have come across to a text book on how best to experience and cope with this complex life style. I would second the request for you to consider archiving your thread as it really is a lesson to us all!
Like everyone else has said - very best wishes for a fabulous and happy future to LFA & A and also to that lucky man G who got to go on the ride with you both…

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leggysman
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by leggysman » Sun Oct 27, 2024 4:34 pm

Lookingforadventure wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2024 5:40 am
I also like the idea of having my own hot wife history recorded for me to revisit from time to time. So maybe :)
Instead of / in addition to moving it to the Library: If it's of interest, I wrote a script which can pull down a whole OHW thread in a printable view that's convenient for offline viewing. I wrote it to help another member archive a personal copy of his long-running and well-loved thread before he had it deleted. It's oriented towards Hotties threads with inline pics - and the requirement to be logged in - but it would be able to download yours too. PM me if you want to.

Cheers to a great adventure, and all the best to you guys. Thanks for the support you've given us (me and leggysandy) as we found our feet.
our hotwife story: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=67232
leggysandy's pics: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=67265

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Wed Oct 30, 2024 4:45 am

Woodscrew wrote:
Sun Oct 27, 2024 4:08 pm
LFA, A & G - Like so many others, I have followed your fabulous story of exploration and have been amazed by how well you all communicated with us and each other. You are an inspiration and guiding light - even (perhaps particularly) in the way that you are handling your decision to pause/stop.
Thank you all for being that inspiration and for sharing your journey so eloquently. It has been highly entertaining but it is also the nearest thing I have come across to a text book on how best to experience and cope with this complex life style. I would second the request for you to consider archiving your thread as it really is a lesson to us all!
Like everyone else has said - very best wishes for a fabulous and happy future to LFA & A and also to that lucky man G who got to go on the ride with you both…
Thank you Woodscrew. I appreciate you taking the time to send this.

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Wed Oct 30, 2024 4:46 am

leggysman wrote:
Sun Oct 27, 2024 4:34 pm
Lookingforadventure wrote:
Thu Oct 24, 2024 5:40 am
I also like the idea of having my own hot wife history recorded for me to revisit from time to time. So maybe :)
Instead of / in addition to moving it to the Library: If it's of interest, I wrote a script which can pull down a whole OHW thread in a printable view that's convenient for offline viewing. I wrote it to help another member archive a personal copy of his long-running and well-loved thread before he had it deleted. It's oriented towards Hotties threads with inline pics - and the requirement to be logged in - but it would be able to download yours too. PM me if you want to.

Cheers to a great adventure, and all the best to you guys. Thanks for the support you've given us (me and leggysandy) as we found our feet.
Thanks Leggysman. I appreciate that. I'll send you a PM.

Lookingforadventure
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Lookingforadventure » Wed Oct 30, 2024 5:10 am

It has been two and a half weeks since Adventurer asked for a break in the lifestyle. I wanted to report that things are going well. I don't want to overshare but thought that you might want an update.

First, Adventurer and I are doing really well. This break has led to a lot of great conversations. We've talked about our various experiences over the past four years and how we've felt. We've shared some of learnings and what we would do differently if we did it all again. We've also been sharing sexual fantasies and desires more consistently. That has led to some really great sex. I think it is also because are emotionally connected in a deeper way lately. There is intimacy in being vulnerable with each other, and that makes sex even better.

For example, Adventurer ran a marathon recently (his first, and in honor of his turning 50 earlier this year). We went to a hotel the night before his race because the race started very early and we didn't want to deal with traffic. Hotels always bring out my kinky side! I was being respectful of his training, though, and asked if he wanted to focus on resting before his race instead of anything too naughty. He said, "I think sex would be an excellent form of race preparation." LOL. We had a lot of fun...on the bed, on the floor, on the couch. I may have made a few puddles here and there with how wet I was. At the end, I was laying naked in the bed, completely spent, with tears in my eyes. My body just couldn't take anymore. He kissed me gently and held me. It was perfect.

Oh and he kicked butt in his race. I'm so proud. Next time I'm going to wear a t-shirt on the sidelines that says "I don't do marathons. I do a marathon runner!" and see if anyone comments :)

Second, the hardest part for me in this break has been losing G as a friend. I'm the type of person who cares deeply about the people in my community. I have many friends that I stay in touch with from my childhood, from high school, from university, and former coworkers. We don't see each other often, but we stay connected and when we do get together we can pick things up easily. It is completely unnatural for me to cut someone out. It just hurts! I'm not good at it. And this felt really awful. This is especially true because of how dear to me G is, and how close we were.

Truthfully, I think that's why my body teared up after multiple orgasms at the hotel. I've been trying to stuff down so many feelings so that I could focus on Adventurer (plus my kids, friends, and family don't know about G and wouldn't understand why I was sad). When my body was brought to its limits in orgasmic bliss, those emotions had nothing holding them back.

Adventurer gets the sacrifice that this has been and has been very grateful. We also talked about it further and agreed to seeing how things could go if G and I are friends. I chatted with G and he was very willing. So we are back in touch and keeping it in the friend zone. It has made me so happy to have him back in my life.

And the last point I want to make is that it has also been a process to wrap my head around what this means for me sexually. Adventurer had been my first and only sexual partner before we started this journey. Each new experience has opened up new parts of me that I have enjoyed getting to know. I felt a sense of grief at having to say goodbye to that. I also struggled to figure out how I could stuff myself back into a box now that I've been out of it.

(One funny story related to this. I was toying with the idea of buying a sexy Halloween costume for handing out candy this year. I was telling Adventurer about it and mentioned that someone local was selling a Scooby Doo "Daphne" costume. I think I'd look cute in a red wig and a tight, purple mini dress. Adventurer agreed. Later that night, we were fooling around in bed and he asked me what kind of kinds I thought Daphne was into. I panicked. It was like a kid told they could play with any toy in the room, they just can't open one box. All they can think about is that box. In my case, all I could think about were ideas that involved multiple partners for slutty Daphne. LOL. I ignored the question and went down on Adventurer instead :) But the next day I confessed my panic and told him that I was pretty sure that Daphne wanted to be laying on a table, with her dress around her waist, while one guy fucked her and she had a cock in each of her hands. Her mouth would be cock-free so she could smile and express how much she was enjoying it. Adventurer said, "I like this Daphne girl." LOL).

Fortunately, Adventurer doesn't want me to suppress my sexual desires or wants. I'm not exactly sure what the future holds, but I'm not ruling out future fun adventures.

So that's my update. Thank you for all your kind words and well wishes. We appreciate them.

ugcp
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by ugcp » Wed Oct 30, 2024 7:06 am

Great post, LFA! Real life details like this are so compelling, and useful for anyone navigating the lifestyle themselves.

Losing relationships in any non-monogamy situation is difficult, but not commonly considered by many people. Social support structures obviously understand typical monogamy, and most people can expect understanding and sympathy from friends and family when a monogamous relationship ends, but in these cases you can feel more alone and unsupported. But we on this forum understand, and give you our love and support! And of course you and Adventurer will need to lean on each other heavily too.

I'm confident you guys will do great as you navigate into the next chapters of your life.

Also, yeah, I'm totally digging you taking on the role of slutty Daphne getting gangbanged. If you decide to make it happen, I'll bring the scoobysnacks.

Long Lurker 34
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by Long Lurker 34 » Wed Oct 30, 2024 11:34 am

LFA
- I know it's been a short time since you have stopped HWing and have had some good talks with A. I'm wondering if, when you get that far, will you reflect at all, should circumstance change, about another HW adventure. By this I mean G checked a lot of boxes for you, so if you should desire an adventure in a different direction with a guy with a different body type, ethnic background or culture or doing different types of public activities, pushing or testing your boundaries exploring other aspects of your personality and sexuality? Or for that matter flipping the whole thing on it's head and giving A the same freedom you have had these past four years.

venus-can99
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by venus-can99 » Wed Oct 30, 2024 1:13 pm

Thanks for the upadte LFA and have a wonderful sexy Halloween...

trecital
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Re: Figuring it out

Unread post by trecital » Wed Oct 30, 2024 3:02 pm

Lookingforadventure wrote:
Wed Oct 30, 2024 5:10 am
Oh and he kicked butt in his race. I'm so proud. Next time I'm going to wear a t-shirt on the sidelines that says "I don't do marathons. I do a marathon runner!" and see if anyone comments :)
How about one that says "I fucked him last night and that's why he's winning this race".

Thanks for sharing your adventures with us.🥰

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