I haven't been on here in a long time, but i did get married. we have been married about 6 years and living the cuckold life.She has interest in being poly...
How do you, you who are in successful marriages where the wife has fallen in love with her lover, how do you balance that out? How do you keep the primary relationship primary, and give time to the wife and lover? How often does she see her lover?
How Often Does Wife See Lovers
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Thebestdays1
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Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
My ex always fell in love with her long term boyfriends.
The first one was her mum's neighbour when my wife was staying with her family when I was working overseas on two separate occasions. He used to work nearby so she would make him a lunch and he'd call in on his break and they'd fuck 3-4 times a week. The other days she'd fuck her sister's boyfriend during his lunch break as she said she used to feel lonely when I was away.
Her other long term boyfriends were colleagues, either full or part time so she'd fuck or suck them after work, most days. The part timer used to fuck her every saturday night and sunday afternoon until he moved away.
One boyfriend would take her out to his naturist club on some sunday evenings and they'd have sex there before coming back to our place and have sex downstairs. I used to suck him off if I gave him a lift home so after that my wife started bringing him upstairs so she could watch me blow him. As they both had mondays off, he'd call back round if I was at work and they'd spend most of the day fucking. After a while she started spending mondays at his place. He was living with his mum after her divorce and they got to know each other after the mum walked in on them partially clothed in the kitchen one day. They had a few threesomes after that day as both women were bi. He also took my wife away for the weekend about once a month, when she could arrange the time off. I never felt threatened by their apparent love for each other as I knew she loved him but was in love with me. They were together for over a year.
The next boyfriend was a colleague in her next job and she'd blow him every morning after work and he'd come to our place every friday night and fuck. That lasted about 15 months.
The first one was her mum's neighbour when my wife was staying with her family when I was working overseas on two separate occasions. He used to work nearby so she would make him a lunch and he'd call in on his break and they'd fuck 3-4 times a week. The other days she'd fuck her sister's boyfriend during his lunch break as she said she used to feel lonely when I was away.
Her other long term boyfriends were colleagues, either full or part time so she'd fuck or suck them after work, most days. The part timer used to fuck her every saturday night and sunday afternoon until he moved away.
One boyfriend would take her out to his naturist club on some sunday evenings and they'd have sex there before coming back to our place and have sex downstairs. I used to suck him off if I gave him a lift home so after that my wife started bringing him upstairs so she could watch me blow him. As they both had mondays off, he'd call back round if I was at work and they'd spend most of the day fucking. After a while she started spending mondays at his place. He was living with his mum after her divorce and they got to know each other after the mum walked in on them partially clothed in the kitchen one day. They had a few threesomes after that day as both women were bi. He also took my wife away for the weekend about once a month, when she could arrange the time off. I never felt threatened by their apparent love for each other as I knew she loved him but was in love with me. They were together for over a year.
The next boyfriend was a colleague in her next job and she'd blow him every morning after work and he'd come to our place every friday night and fuck. That lasted about 15 months.
Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
My wife sees her boyfriend once or twice during the week, and usually spends one or two weekend a month with him. She used to date guys more casually, but this is definitely a serious romantic relationship. When she told me she wanted something more with him, I went out of my way to make space for them to bond.
I don’t get hung up on who’s primary or secondary. We have very different relationships with her. With him, it’s very passionate and romantic, with me it’s very comfortable and supportive. We’re all three happy with this situation.
I don’t get hung up on who’s primary or secondary. We have very different relationships with her. With him, it’s very passionate and romantic, with me it’s very comfortable and supportive. We’re all three happy with this situation.
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arkansascuck
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Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
How do you deal with the insecurity that you might lose her? How long has she been seeing him?
Wooster wrote: ↑Wed Mar 05, 2025 12:05 pmMy wife sees her boyfriend once or twice during the week, and usually spends one or two weekend a month with him. She used to date guys more casually, but this is definitely a serious romantic relationship. When she told me she wanted something more with him, I went out of my way to make space for them to bond.
I don’t get hung up on who’s primary or secondary. We have very different relationships with her. With him, it’s very passionate and romantic, with me it’s very comfortable and supportive. We’re all three happy with this situation.
Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
During the three year run of my (ex) wife openly cucking me, she'd have a lover over to our place once a week for a marathon fuck session. Initially, she was fucking a variety of men, but pretty quickly fell for a guy who really suited her, and he became her boyfriend.
I don't know how often they'd hook up away from our house, but I'd guess they averaged one or two shorter sessions a week at his place during the day. She was self-employed, and had the flexibility in her schedule to work around his availability. For a year or 18 months, he would come to our place one weekday afternoon a week and stay into the night - probably five or six hours per visit. Initially, I was allowed to be in the house, but banished to the living room where I could only hear the occasional loud moan or gasp, and, sometimes, the slapping of skin on skin. After I'd broken the rules on one occasion, I was required to stay away from the house until she called me to come home late at night. This went on for another 18 months to two years. I'd usually go hang out in coffee shops or bars while I waited.
Not long before we settled into this pattern, we had "the talk" where she made it clear she didn't enjoy traditional sex with me and had fucked "several" men, with "some" repeats over the preceding few months, and that it was great for her. We had been building towards this for several years, and she had what amounted to an unrestricted hall pass, so it's not like any of this was a big surprise. Over the course of the preceding year, she'd gradually transformed from a sporty/tomboy look into a sophisticated, sexy minx - lacy thongs, thigh highs, waxed legs and pussy, expensive hair dos, alluring makeup, heels. She'd also been gradually assuming a more dominant role in our relationship, including some PIV denial and pegging, plus some feminization.
After the big talk, she immediately cut me off from PIV, more or less permanently (there were a couple drunken slip ups). Within a few months, she also began denying me seeing her naked, french kisses, etc. I was still allowed to eat her pussy once a month or so, and she demanded I worship her feet daily, and to lick her asshole at times. Once a year, on my birthday, she'd give me a handjob, let me cum on her tits, and have me lick up the mess.
I have a pretty big cock - what women I dated after my wife and I split have even called "huge" - but I'm also an extreme grower. In intense situations, I often shrink almost to an innie. My wife called it my "acorn," and that describes the appearance pretty accurately. One evening after one of their marathon sessions, I had stripped off for bed, and as I sat there naked with my acorn on display, she looked at me and laughed at how useless my penis was. She then said "You know, it's not just about the sex with J, right?" She went on to explain that she needed a strong, masculine presence in her life - something she didn't get from me. I was an athlete, and professionally successful, but not the viking type J was. I understood completely. J would never get his legs and nads waxed. he would never wear panties, or beg her to fuck him harder with her huge strapon. To feel fulfilled, she needed both - a devoted, obedient, submissive, sissy husband, *and* a strapping 6'5" viking boyfriend. She loved us both.
We split a little over three years after the open cucking began, for unrelated reasons. Looking back, I'd say the cucking probably helped us stay together longer than we would have otherwise. When I say "open cucking," I mean pretty much everyone in our close social circle was aware of our arrangement. She also had a largely separate social circle she shared with J, where they were aware too. It worked for us. I miss it
I don't know how often they'd hook up away from our house, but I'd guess they averaged one or two shorter sessions a week at his place during the day. She was self-employed, and had the flexibility in her schedule to work around his availability. For a year or 18 months, he would come to our place one weekday afternoon a week and stay into the night - probably five or six hours per visit. Initially, I was allowed to be in the house, but banished to the living room where I could only hear the occasional loud moan or gasp, and, sometimes, the slapping of skin on skin. After I'd broken the rules on one occasion, I was required to stay away from the house until she called me to come home late at night. This went on for another 18 months to two years. I'd usually go hang out in coffee shops or bars while I waited.
Not long before we settled into this pattern, we had "the talk" where she made it clear she didn't enjoy traditional sex with me and had fucked "several" men, with "some" repeats over the preceding few months, and that it was great for her. We had been building towards this for several years, and she had what amounted to an unrestricted hall pass, so it's not like any of this was a big surprise. Over the course of the preceding year, she'd gradually transformed from a sporty/tomboy look into a sophisticated, sexy minx - lacy thongs, thigh highs, waxed legs and pussy, expensive hair dos, alluring makeup, heels. She'd also been gradually assuming a more dominant role in our relationship, including some PIV denial and pegging, plus some feminization.
After the big talk, she immediately cut me off from PIV, more or less permanently (there were a couple drunken slip ups). Within a few months, she also began denying me seeing her naked, french kisses, etc. I was still allowed to eat her pussy once a month or so, and she demanded I worship her feet daily, and to lick her asshole at times. Once a year, on my birthday, she'd give me a handjob, let me cum on her tits, and have me lick up the mess.
I have a pretty big cock - what women I dated after my wife and I split have even called "huge" - but I'm also an extreme grower. In intense situations, I often shrink almost to an innie. My wife called it my "acorn," and that describes the appearance pretty accurately. One evening after one of their marathon sessions, I had stripped off for bed, and as I sat there naked with my acorn on display, she looked at me and laughed at how useless my penis was. She then said "You know, it's not just about the sex with J, right?" She went on to explain that she needed a strong, masculine presence in her life - something she didn't get from me. I was an athlete, and professionally successful, but not the viking type J was. I understood completely. J would never get his legs and nads waxed. he would never wear panties, or beg her to fuck him harder with her huge strapon. To feel fulfilled, she needed both - a devoted, obedient, submissive, sissy husband, *and* a strapping 6'5" viking boyfriend. She loved us both.
We split a little over three years after the open cucking began, for unrelated reasons. Looking back, I'd say the cucking probably helped us stay together longer than we would have otherwise. When I say "open cucking," I mean pretty much everyone in our close social circle was aware of our arrangement. She also had a largely separate social circle she shared with J, where they were aware too. It worked for us. I miss it
Last edited by 60dCommon on Wed Mar 05, 2025 8:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-60d
Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
@TheBestDays: Your wife and you are extremely fortunate to have a deeply loving, trusting relationship. It is definitely possible and natural to love more than one person; it just takes maturity, harmonious personalities, and superb communication to make it work all the way around. As you point out, the loves can be different without one being in the upper power position.
Although we are a couple who have over the years slid a lot between HW and swinging, my wife has become more of a demisexual. And demisexuality may be a stepping stone to poly. We'll see. Although I am more open to poly than she is, I prefer the sexual relationship be with someone she is at least very fond of and, preferably, loves. It is a much deeper experience than a casual fuck. Her current long-term regular love is single but a very busy exercise instructor. We would both like him to sex her at least twice a week, but his and our schedules don't coincide enough to fulfill our wishes. So, our MFM encounters range from weekly to every 3 months. Her orgasms are deeper, more meaningful, and more satisfying (for her and me), very much because she carries a lot of love for him and also calls him her love. Their kissing, especially while fucking, is extremely erotic.
I envy (but in a good way) your wife having frequent, multiorgasmic, multi-partner encounters. That is the life.
He is very deferential and respectful to me but a guy more on the dom side. So, he has been in the role of a non-submissive secondary, if that makes any sense. Although he would like to go off with her to another country sometime, he knows she wants me to be present (she likes having more than one cock at the same time). Her preference is that we both go with him to Uruguay. It could happen. Although I like the draw of multipartner sexual loving, she holds back from attaching too much. Her lifetime experience is that men can become too clingy and possessive; she does not want the emotional of feeling she has to keep him happy and take care of him. She loves the kissing and the fucking but does not want to take on more than that.
Although we are a couple who have over the years slid a lot between HW and swinging, my wife has become more of a demisexual. And demisexuality may be a stepping stone to poly. We'll see. Although I am more open to poly than she is, I prefer the sexual relationship be with someone she is at least very fond of and, preferably, loves. It is a much deeper experience than a casual fuck. Her current long-term regular love is single but a very busy exercise instructor. We would both like him to sex her at least twice a week, but his and our schedules don't coincide enough to fulfill our wishes. So, our MFM encounters range from weekly to every 3 months. Her orgasms are deeper, more meaningful, and more satisfying (for her and me), very much because she carries a lot of love for him and also calls him her love. Their kissing, especially while fucking, is extremely erotic.
I envy (but in a good way) your wife having frequent, multiorgasmic, multi-partner encounters. That is the life.
He is very deferential and respectful to me but a guy more on the dom side. So, he has been in the role of a non-submissive secondary, if that makes any sense. Although he would like to go off with her to another country sometime, he knows she wants me to be present (she likes having more than one cock at the same time). Her preference is that we both go with him to Uruguay. It could happen. Although I like the draw of multipartner sexual loving, she holds back from attaching too much. Her lifetime experience is that men can become too clingy and possessive; she does not want the emotional of feeling she has to keep him happy and take care of him. She loves the kissing and the fucking but does not want to take on more than that.
Sharing your partner is a very loving act. Double her pleasure; double your fun.
Kevin Foster, The Three Marriage Enigmas: ". . . sex with a man other than her husband is simply the most erotic sex possible for a woman."
Kevin Foster, The Three Marriage Enigmas: ". . . sex with a man other than her husband is simply the most erotic sex possible for a woman."
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WatchinginNJ
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Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
Not the husband here, but the boyfriend. I don't see myself as a replacement to him, merely an addition to her. I'm not in the same stage they are in for a lot of life, nor do I intend to go back to that stage.arkansascuck wrote: ↑Sat Mar 01, 2025 5:07 pmI haven't been on here in a long time, but i did get married. we have been married about 6 years and living the cuckold life.She has interest in being poly...
How do you, you who are in successful marriages where the wife has fallen in love with her lover, how do you balance that out? How do you keep the primary relationship primary, and give time to the wife and lover? How often does she see her lover?
So my suggestion is find someone you are both comfortable with, that gets your dynamic, and might have overlap in interests but also meets needs your wife doesn't get with you.
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little sissy Benita
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Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
It is great that her bf is living now into the house and both living as married couple together.
I love to see, when she sit at his lap and she call him my husband and she give him french kisses - it is wonderful when we made a walk and both going hand in hand like a loving couple and all see it - I am no longer embarrassed to walk next to them with a doll's pram (with a baby hairstyle and a pacifier in my mouth) - that way everyone can see that I am a total cuckold and deserve to live as a little baby girl
I accept that both as married couple have the right of bareback intercourse - also without birth control pills
So wonderful for me to be replaced and demoted as husband and father and that i must be a little girl (little daughter) and into babyhood
little Benita
I love to see, when she sit at his lap and she call him my husband and she give him french kisses - it is wonderful when we made a walk and both going hand in hand like a loving couple and all see it - I am no longer embarrassed to walk next to them with a doll's pram (with a baby hairstyle and a pacifier in my mouth) - that way everyone can see that I am a total cuckold and deserve to live as a little baby girl
I accept that both as married couple have the right of bareback intercourse - also without birth control pills
So wonderful for me to be replaced and demoted as husband and father and that i must be a little girl (little daughter) and into babyhood
little Benita
Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
I know the feeling you are living. My wife is his now and she’s pregnant a second time. Her due date is June. I enjoy seeing her belly full of his baby.
nanny pauline
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Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
They’ve been together several years now, with no plans to stop seeing each other. Like I said, we’re all very happy with this arrangement, and no one wants to change it.arkansascuck wrote: ↑Wed Mar 05, 2025 5:49 pmHow do you deal with the insecurity that you might lose her? How long has she been seeing him?
Wooster wrote: ↑Wed Mar 05, 2025 12:05 pmMy wife sees her boyfriend once or twice during the week, and usually spends one or two weekend a month with him. She used to date guys more casually, but this is definitely a serious romantic relationship. When she told me she wanted something more with him, I went out of my way to make space for them to bond.
I don’t get hung up on who’s primary or secondary. We have very different relationships with her. With him, it’s very passionate and romantic, with me it’s very comfortable and supportive. We’re all three happy with this situation.
We’ve talked a whole lot about whether she might decide to end our marriage and go live with him. She’s been clear that she loves me and wants us to stay together, but we’ve acknowledged the possibility that we might not be able to continue this way forever. Personally, I wouldn’t want her to stay married to me out of obligation if she really wanted to be with him.
It’s also equally possible that something will happen between the two of them that could end their relationship. If that happened, she’d be devastated, but we’d stay together.
Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
I guess "Poly" can mean somewhat different things to different people. Having a steady boyfriend to us wasn't poly, even when she had feelings for that person. Poly for us was a step further. It was when one person falls in love with two people and creating a new relationship based on three people. So, by definition (at least for us) there would not be a "primary" relationship and therefore, a "secondary" relationship. If all three of you are serious about carrying this 3-way relationship forward, you three would be the primary relationship. That might not work for you and you may not want that. But, you should probably consider this happening if you decide to pursue it. Just a thought. I've been there and it is difficult to get your head around, sometimes, but poly can also be life-changing when it works.arkansascuck wrote: ↑Sat Mar 01, 2025 5:07 pmHow do you keep the primary relationship primary, and give time to the wife and lover? How often does she see her lover?
In our case, he moved in with us, so she saw him every day.
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arkansascuck
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Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
Wooster wrote: ↑Thu Mar 06, 2025 11:56 ami guess something that i can't get around my head...at least for me...it seems a bit sad to me that you will be willing to let her go and not try to keep her from leaving.arkansascuck wrote: ↑Wed Mar 05, 2025 5:49 pmHow do you deal with the insecurity that you might lose her? How long has she been seeing him?
We’ve talked a whole lot about whether she might decide to end our marriage and go live with him. She’s been clear that she loves me and wants us to stay together, but we’ve acknowledged the possibility that we might not be able to continue this way forever. Personally, I wouldn’t want her to stay married to me out of obligation if she really wanted to be with him.
It’s also equally possible that something will happen between the two of them that could end their relationship. If that happened, she’d be devastated, but we’d stay together.
Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
Things have varied with different people at different times over the years. Circumstances require different parameters at different times of your life. Now with a family, we have to be more mindful of time. She sees her current bf about three times a week.
Re: How Often Does Wife See Lovers
arkansascuck wrote: ↑Fri Mar 07, 2025 4:49 pmUnderstandable. It's not that I wouldn't care or we wouldn't have looked at every possible option, just that it wouldn't work for me to have her staying out of obligation alone. As it is, we are definitely happily together out of choice: we both value our relationship, and wouldn't want to lose it.Wooster wrote: ↑Thu Mar 06, 2025 11:56 ami guess something that i can't get around my head...at least for me...it seems a bit sad to me that you will be willing to let her go and not try to keep her from leaving.arkansascuck wrote: ↑Wed Mar 05, 2025 5:49 pmHow do you deal with the insecurity that you might lose her? How long has she been seeing him?
We’ve talked a whole lot about whether she might decide to end our marriage and go live with him. She’s been clear that she loves me and wants us to stay together, but we’ve acknowledged the possibility that we might not be able to continue this way forever. Personally, I wouldn’t want her to stay married to me out of obligation if she really wanted to be with him.
It’s also equally possible that something will happen between the two of them that could end their relationship. If that happened, she’d be devastated, but we’d stay together.
That said, it's not possible to say what's going to happen in the future. If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, she'd be moving in with him after the funeral. If he got hit by a bus tomorrow, we'd stay happily married while we figured out what our future looked like. Everyone involved wants things to stay as they are - it feels right and balanced.