Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[monraccoon]

leave shame for things you’ve done or might do to harm another living being. excepting this, shame is an extreme waste of energy. give up unnecessary shame forever.

[anondesires]

She was looking especially cute this morning, cute dress and extra makeup. I can't remember if I said it here already or if it was a PM but I think she looks like Ryan Ryans, especially with the extra makeup. She was being overly nice, I sensed she wanted something and then the question came, "Would you mind if we take some photos of me, to send to [that guy she fucked before]?". My heart sank a little, realising all this effort wasn't for me but for another guy who probably wouldn't even appreciate it.

I thought she meant just a few poses but then we went to another room, and she started lifting up her dress and putting her hand in her underwear. She was asking all the while, "do I look hot like this?", "do you want to fuck me when I look like this?", "can you tell me how to make this look sexy?". I was having to respond with "maybe curve your back a bit more", "spread your legs wider", "bend over a bit more". Then we moved to the stairs, taking photos up her dress, legs spread and taking her underwear off. I took shots of her underwear around her knees with her legs held high and of them hanging off her toes. Then her dress came off and she wanted full on "come fuck me" photos, legs spread, doggy pose, fingers in her pussy, biting her lip. Then she got dressed again, thanked me, kissed me lovingly and went off to work.

This was a moment for me, I don't know if you call it jealousy, nostalgia, insecurity, regret or what. I remember when she would send me photos like that, getting me excited to come over and give her what she wanted. It felt like such a privilege for her to want me like that. This guy probably doesn't feel like that, he'll probably just think that she'll look pretty on his dick if he gets a spare hour. Despite feeling a bit cut up about it, I felt the need to masturbate, probably the saddest orgasm I've ever had.

Maybe I haven't properly considered how hard this is going to hit me when they do it? Is it normal to feel this bad? I still feel like I should somehow man up, fuck her like she needs and be her everything again, like this is a bad dream and I'm going to wake up with everything fine and normal.

[Topnotch]

It's a big step for sure. I was all over the place before we actually started. It's not as bad as your mind is making it out to be. The 2 of you just have to handle it right afterwards. Reconnect e very loving towards her. Just throwing an idea out there for you. Maybe you would be better off not to watch to start with ease into that. Maybe your not even there. Let her send you pictures and videos. Like I say it your decision, I just think it may be easier for you initially.

[wannabecUKold]

..

[BallSpanking]

You haven't yet embraced the reality of your wife becoming a HW. HotWife husbands should consider from the start that once their wives begin dating other men, it is the wife who is in the driver's seat. The fantasy contemplates that a husband will be able to continue to direct the course of the action, but reality is quite different. Moreover once your wife embraces her sexual liberation, and her husband's encouragement to fuck other men, the husband's status as her principal sexual partner will change. If you truly want your wife to be a HW, you must focus on the reality of her pleasure, instead of the fulfillment of your own erotic fantasies. Once you do that, her excitement will become your own, and her pleasure and satisfaction the driving force. If you embrace comparison of her sexual excitement, you will share her excitement vicariously, and once you do that, your commitment to being her cuckold will become a normal part of your marriage ... You will see her blossom and become self confident and sexier, but there is a very high probability you won't be getting nearly as much pussy.

[anondesires]

She just messaged that the photos worked, he's coming over tomorrow evening, she followed it up by forwarding his dick pic and an excited emoji.
I asked which ones she sent, she then sent me the same 4. 1st one cute and innocent, 2nd one innocently bent over exposing her underwear a bit, 3rd one upskirt on the stairs, legs spread, 4th one her underwear on her toes.

She's asked that we now don't have sex until he's been over, "please don't protest or guilt me about this, I'll make it up to you. Love you x"

[anondesires]

It's a big step for sure. I was all over the place before we actually started. It's not as bad as your mind is making it out to be. The 2 of you just have to handle it right afterwards. Reconnect e very loving towards her. Just throwing an idea out there for you. Maybe you would be better off not to watch to start with ease into that. Maybe your not even there. Let her send you pictures and videos. Like I say it your decision, I just think it may be easier for you initially.

That's reassuring to know, I hope you're right. It feels like I need to watch, or at least try to. My pessimistic mind will probably imagine something worse than the reality if I don't

[joel68]

Just curious, is his dick as big as your friends’?

[anondesires]

You haven't yet embraced the reality of your wife becoming a HW. HotWife husbands should consider from the start that once their wives begin dating other men, it is the wife who is in the driver's seat. The fantasy contemplates that a husband will be able to continue to direct the course of the action, but reality is quite different. Moreover once your wife embraces her sexual liberation, and her husband's encouragement to fuck other men, the husband's status as her principal sexual partner will change. If you truly want your wife to be a HW, you must focus on the reality of her pleasure, instead of the fulfillment of your own erotic fantasies. Once you do that, her excitement will become your own, and her pleasure and satisfaction the driving force. If you embrace comparison of her sexual excitement, you will share her excitement vicariously, and once you do that, your commitment to being her cuckold will become a normal part of your marriage ... You will see her blossom and become self confident and sexier, but there is a very high probability you won't be getting nearly as much pussy.

That sounds like good advice. 1 door needs to close and another open. I've been trying my best to just peek through the new door and keep the old one open. It's difficult to accept letting go and difficult to realise what I now need to embrace. I keep looking back and thinking that maybe I could satisfy her if this or that. I need to remind myself that, even with my best performance, I was pretending and she was probably only barely satisfied (with the help of new relationship excitement which I can't get back). My dick is too small and I can't change that. She has always been too much of a hot sexual being to be tied to unsatisfying sex for life, I was lucky to have her to myself for this long.

[anondesires]

Just curious, is his dick as big as your friends’?

I can't tell, they both look like porn dicks to me and they've used camera angles to exaggerate it.
She said this guy isn't the biggest she's had but one of the biggest and he fucks her well, whatever that means, I guess I'll see for myself.

[joel68]

Yep. You will likely see up close too.

[sucker00]

Did your gf make it clear that she wants you present when her FWB comes to the house to fuck her? Sorry if I missed that.

[wannabecUKold]

That sounds like good advice. 1 door needs to close and another open. I've been trying my best to just peek through the new door and keep the old one open. It's difficult to accept letting go and difficult to realise what I now need to embrace. I keep looking back and thinking that maybe I could satisfy her if this or that. I need to remind myself that, even with my best performance, I was pretending and she was probably only barely satisfied (with the help of new relationship excitement which I can't get back). My dick is too small and I can't change that. She has always been too much of a hot sexual being to be tied to unsatisfying sex for life, I was lucky to have her to myself for this long.

I think that is a realistic position to take. In particular, to properly open the new door, I think you should watch her being fucked. You will love seeing it and will also accept your new status.

Well, the clock will move grindingly slowly now till tomorrow night. Find some project that will take up the time.

In the meantime here is a timely poem from this week’s Spectator (a British magazine):
“Cajoled by plaintive words I said, At last she ventured to my bed, But then, in terms that I thought caddish, Compared my manhood to a radish.”

[anondesires]

Did your gf make it clear that she wants you present when her FWB comes to the house to fuck her? Sorry if I missed that.

Not clear, but it's been implied a few times that I will "see" this or that. She's an exhibitionist, she loves to be (or the risk of being) watched.
When she was telling me about the parties she went to, she said she would hope that other guys would watch and be jealous, she knows how to look hot while doing sexual things.

[anondesires]

I think that is a realistic position to take. In particular, to properly open the new door, I think you should watch her being fucked. You will love seeing it and will also accept your new status.

I hope you're right. A month ago, I wouldn't have believed I could think like this but I hope that watching makes me feel certain that I want this. I guess I'm over the tipping point now?

[AZguy425]

Your gf likely played with you the other night as a way of confirming you are interested in her with other guys. Just to be sure the relationship was solid with your fantasy. Even when you were telling her you didn't want our weren't sure you wanted her to let your friend fuck her, your hard cock told her the opposite.

This gave her the confidence to move forward with her ex. Now there's really no stopping it. You still might mentally be in the fence about it, but he's going to come fuck her. The part of you that is so turned on by that will still be turned on, and she knows her connection with you is strong and she'll be there after.

[avid fan]

Good luck...I don't think you have to worry about what to do, sounds like your gf will have her own ideas anyway so suggest committing to just following her lead!

[elina]

You haven't yet embraced the reality of your wife becoming a HW. HotWife husbands should consider from the start that once their wives begin dating other men, it is the wife who is in the driver's seat. The fantasy contemplates that a husband will be able to continue to direct the course of the action, but reality is quite different. Moreover once your wife embraces her sexual liberation, and her husband's encouragement to fuck other men, the husband's status as her principal sexual partner will change. If you truly want your wife to be a HW, you must focus on the reality of her pleasure, instead of the fulfillment of your own erotic fantasies. Once you do that, her excitement will become your own, and her pleasure and satisfaction the driving force. If you embrace comparison of her sexual excitement, you will share her excitement vicariously, and once you do that, your commitment to being her cuckold will become a normal part of your marriage ... You will see her blossom and become self confident and sexier, but there is a very high probability you won't be getting nearly as much pussy.

That sounds like good advice. 1 door needs to close and another open. I've been trying my best to just peek through the new door and keep the old one open. It's difficult to accept letting go and difficult to realise what I now need to embrace. I keep looking back and thinking that maybe I could satisfy her if this or that. I need to remind myself that, even with my best performance, I was pretending and she was probably only barely satisfied (with the help of new relationship excitement which I can't get back). My dick is too small and I can't change that. She has always been too much of a hot sexual being to be tied to unsatisfying sex for life, I was lucky to have her to myself for this long.

Dear Anondesires,

First, I am impressed with how your opinions and acceptance of yourself has developed over the past weeks.

Second, Focus on making your girlfriend happy going forward but don't hesitate to show your concerns and emotions. Being jealous is a very natural reaction reflecting how much you desire to continue to love and be the long-term partner of your Girlfriend. If you describe this as your reactions while avoiding attacking Her, I am pretty confident that this Lady will appreciate you openly sharing your feelings.

Third, I know you don't understand why chastitycages is important to some of us and will not try to argue with it.
However, whether you are locked in a cage or not, keeping yourself from cumming will probably significantly increase your ability to enjoy and find your Girlfriend fucking another guy hot. You don't need a chastity cage to refrain from masturbation untill your Girlfriend will get intimate with you one way or the other.

Fourth, you know how much your Girlfriend appreciated you licking Her pussy while your were tied up and She was toying with the dildo in front of you. Imagine how wonderful it will make Her feel if you are allowed to do this when Her lover is coming over...

Finally,

Good luck and please see this as a possibility to enhance the relationship with your Girlfriend.

Sincerely
elina

[bewareoflizzy]

My fantasies started in my early 30's as we started having children and I watched my wife develop sexually at the same time. She was alluring confident, and flirtatious as we moved through our 30's. This only increased my secret desire for her to take a lover, preferably a younger guy, bigger and with more stamina to make her cum repeatedly. Her libido was off the charts and I watched her as she flaunted her sexuality to other guys, particularly the younger guys she worked with at a restaurant. Pillow talk led to a proposition to try it once with a cute cook who was 9 years younger than she. After a few drinks (after work) she confessed to him that shew as very attracted to him and wanted to get to know him better. This led to afternoon tea at his apartment and then fucking on his living room couch. She never looked back.

[Pecannut]

Wow!!! So hot! I admire your bravery to follow your kinks. Your wife is a true treasure. Your relationship is so amazing! Enjoy the ride and experience!

[joel68]

So is tonight the night your gf gets fucked? Does the guy know you will be there? Do you think she told him all about you and the cuck stuff?

[anondesires]

So is tonight the night your gf gets fucked? Does the guy know you will be there? Do you think she told him all about you and the cuck stuff?

It looks likely. She's excited but I just feel a bit sick tbh, I'm trying not to think about it too much.

I asked to read their messages and was surprised that it was all respectful with regard to me. She just asked if he minds me being there and told him we were experimenting although that was a couple of weeks ago when she didn't know I was in any way into it. He didn't question it. There wasn't really anything interesting either, I was a bit disappointed. She told him she's missed his big dick and that she can't wait to show him how grateful she'll be. Whether anything will be mentioned later, I don't know, I certainly won't be the one to bring it up.

[wannabecUKold]

It would be odd if you weren't feeling a bit sick at this point. Crossing the Rubicon. Not knowing where it will lead. Giving consent to another man's cock inside her - today. Your own cock not allowed in her - for how long?
Find something sociable to do. Good luck.

[Wantsomefunto]

Will you help her choose what to wear for him? I suggest you eat her pussy some before he arrives, get her good and horny but don’t let her cum.

Also after he has her, you will need to reconnect with her and assure her you appreciate everything she did. Best way is to clean her pussy with your tongue after. Tell her how much you enjoy what she did.

[joel68]

So is it a go tonight?