Question

[baltic52]

So my wife met a guy at her gym. He's much older (65) and not exactly attractive (she actively states this), but he shows interest in her and I know she likes the attention. He's invited us onto his boat and I know he's dying to fuck her. My question is this.......since she texts with him as friends does this mean that she might be open to hotwifing as an addition to our mariage? All of her girlfriends think their relationship is kind of unconventional and I'm not a jealous type. It actually turns me on to think of her having sex with another man. Thoughts?

[bbarnsworth]

There's no real way for us to have any idea if she'd be open to hotwifing.

A key component in most successful hotwifing marriages it deep, open communication. If you don't know your wife's innermost thoughts, how are we supposed to know? I don't mean that to be harsh. Rather, ask her!

While your wife might not find him physically attractive, she might be attracted to him anyway; women tend to be less visually motivated in attraction than men. It's possible she could be open to having sex with him, but you need to start this discussion with her and see what her thoughts are.

[baltic52]

I asked her what she thought about sending him a naked photo of herself. To my surprise, she said "he would enjoy that". She didn't seem disgusted or offended by me offering this idea. Should I let it simmer for awhile or start the conversation sooner. My gut tells me that she needs sone time to digest the idea and become comfortable with it...thoughts?

[troilusand]

I asked her what she thought about sending him a naked photo of herself. To my surprise, she said "he would enjoy that". She didn't seem disgusted or offended by me offering this idea. Should I let it simmer for awhile or start the conversation sooner. My gut tells me that she needs sone time to digest the idea and become comfortable with it...thoughts?

Well...you could send the pic and say you thought she approved because of her response. That would start the ball rolling.

Troilus

[BallSpanking]

Baltic, I am unsure of whether or not you want this to happen.
You already had a positive response from your wife when you asked about a nude pic to send him.
I suggest you follow through. Take many pics of her in seductive poses, and go through them with her.
Have her choose which pic to send him, and a caption to go with it.
After that, I doubt you will need to ask us if she wants to fuck him ... You will know.

BTW, your wife would probably love a yacht trip to the fjords.
If you decided to go, you'd feel like a third wheel the whole time.
And she would probably be sleeping in the captain's bed.
I think your wife likes the idea. Will you encourage her to go?

[Parsifal]

For me your story evokes an association between your wife's mid-60s suitor and Aristotle Onassis, the aging Greek shipping tycoon, proudly ugly, whose style and extravagant yachts put even the most desired women on the planet, Maria Callas and Jacqueline Kennedy, under his sorcerer's spell. Some women are as hypnotized by the cultivated charms of an older gentleman as a sparrow by the eyes of viper. Husbands of such women find themselves paralyzed along with it and make of their wives an offering to the higher power. It's all quite erotic as it unfolds if the spell doesn't break too soon.

[WatchinginNJ]

I think you need to open the conversation with your wife. It might be ugly at first, but ultimately it is about communicating intentions. You'll see around this board her first reaction is often 'he wants to fuck other women', which may or may not be the case. Reaffirm that this is something you find interesting (if you do) and that you want to know her thoughts on it. Frame it as an open discussion with no intent to commit to anything.

Ultimately I don't know your wife or that guy, but you'll find women have great ability to compartmentalize sex. My ex-wife's first extra marital adventure was with a guy she openly said wasn't her type at all, but he was able to get into her head. In another previous relationship, my girlfriend could switch to having sex with just about anyone because for her it was about the taboo of random sex. I've also been with women that only had sex from a pure attraction standpoint. All this to say, only your wife can tell you what her boundaries and sexual interests are.

[MartasBoy]

So my wife met a guy at her gym. He's much older (65) and not exactly attractive (she actively states this), but he shows interest in her and I know she likes the attention. He's invited us onto his boat and I know he's dying to fuck her. My question is this.......since she texts with him as friends does this mean that she might be open to hotwifing as an addition to our mariage? All of her girlfriends think their relationship is kind of unconventional and I'm not a jealous type. It actually turns me on to think of her having sex with another man. Thoughts?

I agree with the suggestion by several people on here, that you have more open communication with her about it. I imagine, over the years, you have shared with her that you like it when other men show interest in her, and that you have some fantasies of what it would be like to see her shared with another man.

I agree with the person on here who suggested you take some sexy photos of her, go through them with her, and suggest one or a few, that she could send to this guy. I do not agree with the person who suggested you go ahead and send one without asking her. That would very likely be seen as a violation and a betrayal and would make her back away from the whole thing.

Usually, women must have a basic attraction to a guy, to want to sleep with them. But there are some women who like the attention, even from a guy that doesn't rock their world. And, there are some women who enjoy the power and control of granting sympathy sex to a guy they don't find so attractive. I've heard some women say that they sort of get off, on giving sympathy sex to guys who aren't accustomed to getting much sexual action. I've heard some women say that they find it exciting to see how grateful such guys are, when they get granted sympathy sex. I have heard some women say that they love how grateful a guy seems, and how they treat the act like they know it was a huge gift, or they treat the woman like she is a goddess. Some women like that feeling.

In my single dating days, I had looks that were considered sort of average. I did not have women throwing themselves at my feet. I had a few women who had sex with me, and then later said they just did it, because they felt like I probably didn't get much attention in that way. Maybe your wife gets off on the idea of an older, not-so-attractive man being obsessed with her.

Try sending the photos and fueling the excitement between them. Then suggest that you go on his boat with him and she bring along some sexy swimsuits and cute cover-ups, and such.

It probably always is good advice, to move slowly.

Whatever happens, I know that several of us on here would enjoy hearing updates on how it progresses.

[funkyfitter]

If I were you, I'd be pursuing the nude pic route.
She didn't shoot the idea down and knows her new gym friend would love it !

[Tank Turner]

Hi Baltic52

The absolute, surest way to know is if she fucks him.

[Tank Turner]

Hi Baltic52

The absolute, surest way to know is if she fucks him.

[luvwives999]

If I were you, I'd be pursuing the nude pic route.
She didn't shoot the idea down and knows her new gym friend would love it !

I agree, and my assumption is, it would really turn you on.

[zorro]

All good comments. There is an important conversation starting here, and you two would do well to explore it. Sometimes the journey is as good -- or even better -- than the destination. One of the greatest gifts of this LS my wife and I have found over the years is the expansion of intimacy that develops as you both feel out how much truth you can each hear. It can be scary at first, because of the fear that your partner will reject you for having the "wrong" ideas or feelings. But this fear is well worth feeling because when you find that you each can love each other as you really are, your love and trust will deepen. I also love the intimacy of watching my wife enjoy the ecstasy of the feeling of a different man as his cock enters her pussy -- and the gasp of discovery when he does. And I enjoy watching her surrender her female sexual self to a man and the resultant orgasms she experiences (and that is a lot because she is easily and multi orgasmic). Your wife having you present as she reveals her native animal sexuality is extremely intimate: She can feel fully accepted for the person she is.

Over the years, my experience with starting up with extra-relationship sex is to start with where your wife wants to start. Resist the impulse to push for more. Make it her thing and go along for the ride. If you do well with it and describe the pleasure you experience with her pleasure, the most natural thing in the world will be for her to try to do more. And she will test you mightily to check out if you will succumb to fear rather than the loving that can come with sharing her.

Don't let this simmer. Her endorsement of sending him a naked photo warrants some followup inquiry. Get curious and learn more about her -- the genuine her. That very act can be very sexy, even more so than the mechanics of the organ grinding. And be as honest and revealing as you can be if she asks you what you want.

This can all be very good.

Keep us informed.

[BallSpanking]

Baltic, any update?

[CuckedbyNikki]

Dress her sexy, drop her to his boat and leave. I'm sure both of them will make their move and if you are lucky she'll tell you the story in bed how he took her. Btw read our story we entered this lifestyle in a similar manner our guy was twice Nikki's age and keeps proving why age is just a number.

[ferrisandrews]

I would mainly focus on yourself and communicating how much it turns you on that she's texting someone who is obviously interested in her. Once she's clear how much you like this she'll probably continue if she has an inkling of interest in him. It sounds like she's already going with it and may not need encouragement, just patience. Let her know how hot it'd be if you could be given updates (especially any naughty ones) and reinforce that you want her to have fun and be free. Thank her for being a part of it and let her drive (if she wants). Once she's for real interested she may ask some questions for advice on her next move.

My wife has had many bulls but never a true daddy role (which I know she'd love). Gift giving is her love language and if she found an older executive or wealthy type I think she'd have more fun with that than she expects. Not saying this guy is, I'm projecting my fantasy onto your situation for my own benefit.

[hwc]

How about finding someone she does find attractive, boyfriend material, you could perhaps search together for the 'complete package', someone who could really sweep her off her feet? I imagine that might be more fun all-round...