Best way to bring it up

[Luvelixer]

In your lived experience, what was the best way to bring it up cuckolding? I know that it could be rejected outright and I'm ok with that but what's the best way to bring up the subject in a way that a wife or girlfriend would be open to considering sleeping with another man?

[surry]

It takes time. Read stuff together, discuss sex fantasies, and read Female Led marriage books. We had a best friend who flirted with my wife in front of me. So they liked each other. He would kiss her hello and goodbye. Then they were fucking. Most women need to have feelings for someone first.

[rnmiller96]

blend in a little mfm porn... Theme, husband invites over a sensous friend with a larger cock; the let it slip, "boy did she have extra fun"... do this subtley for a few months; then invite a friend over one night, a hung one, and too much alcohol...

[Luvelixer]

Thanks for the feedback. I have casually role played I was a different person and she was into it. One big issue we have is she is a medical student so we don't have a lot of time for sex because her life is studying and being tired.

[mattyg_2671]

Hi. The dream scenario can open the door nicely to further discussions. “Babe, I had a weird dream about you last night, and it really turned me on…”

[Luvelixer]

It takes time. Read stuff together, discuss sex fantasies, and read Female Led marriage books. We had a best friend who flirted with my wife in front of me. So they liked each other. He would kiss her hello and goodbye. Then they were fucking. Most women need to have feelings for someone first.

My wife is reserved during sex. She wants me to initiate and be in charge of that. In every other aspect she is a type A personality.

[Experimenti3]

Hi! All what was said above can help. In my case we used all of it, and finally I asked my wife politely to chat with a guy whom I met on internet and who was interested in my wife. Once she started chatting she kind of liked it and step by step she got horny and considered the idea of meeting the guy. Not long after that we arranged the meeting and that was it. Since then (19 years ago) we are enjoying the cuckold lifestyle.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

In our journey, a friend and his newlywed wife came several states to visit us as they were en route to their honeymoon. While staying with us that night, my friend fucked the ever-livin’ lights out of his bride in the room next to ours. It was HIGHLY erotic to hear him going to town on her and to hear her loving every bit of it at the top of her lungs…the squeaking bed…the headboard banging against the wall with each thrust…hearing him cum in her with that unmistakable moan that men make when they let it go. Just incredibly hot all around.

That immediately made my wife want more, so she asked me to see if they would want to join us in the living room, by the fireplace. They were down for it, and before long we were fucking our wives next to each other on the sofa. No swapping. Just wife fucking in front of each other, full view.

Seeing his dick plumb his wife was the first time I wondered how it would look, how my wife would moan, as he plumbed my wife’s sweet pussy. I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. It was impossible to NOT imagine. I wanted to hear my wife moan on my friend’s cock…and I wanted to watch him moan his cum deep into her as well……..But swapping never happened.

They left. I was hopelessly addicted to the idea of watching my wife enjoy another man’s cock.

We talked often about it. I told her how I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. She was turned on by watching, but would never have wanted another man’s cock in her.

At first, she was hurt that I couldn’t let it go. She cried and said that I made her feel so dirty. But over time, she accepted my obsession and we started to fantasize. She loved watching me get off to ideas of seeing her naked with another man, pussy-eating, 69ing, fingering, mutual masturbation, all the different positions, but she made it VERY clear that the only way she would ever allow a man to put his penis in her was if she felt love for him…an emotional connection.

That freaked me out at first. I was just hoping for some sex-play. She was talking about starting a relationship. And over time, I realized that if I was ever going to realize my sexual obsession, I was going to have to relinquish some control and trust her. We did make the most important ground rule at about that time and pledged to keep each other as primary partners where each of us could pull the plug if it got to be too much. We agreed to move forward.

The fantasies continued for a long time, though. We were not in a hurry, but we knew it was imminent. She really blossomed, knowing that she was basically leading our marriage. She became increasingly confident. First, the fantasies were about what could have happened…my friend fucking my wife silly while his wife and I sat back watching and masturbating together. Now, the fantasies were switching over to how we could really make it happen. Her hotwifing was imminent.

Getting my friend and his wife to come back would prove to be impossible, so my wife started looking around…coworkers, neighbors, family members, friends.

Mind you, it had taken us YEARS to get to this point. I discovered OHW (using a different username that pretty much revealed my real name). I was a fully committed Wannabe.

And then….She did it! She chose a coworker who really pushed all her right buttons. She started seeing him. He knew she was married, and she eventually told him that I sort of get off to the idea of sharing her.

He was more than happy to oblige. They started seeing each other, but I don’t think he understood the depth of my obsession. As you all know, I would want to actually WATCH him fuck my wife. I wanted to see his dick sliding in and out of her while she moaned in delight. And I wanted to watch him make his deposit as well. (Her favorite part of sex is feeling me cum in her. I wanted her to have that experience with him…and watch her enjoy it.)

My wife was reluctant to bring it up with him, so I had to do it. (It was too base for her. She was having a love affair. I wanted to see a sex affair.)

At first, he was taken aback. Wasn’t sure he wanted some other guy staring at his junk while he fucked her. But over time, he loosened up.

It had been 10 years since I first imagined it. It was awesome to actually witness it.

Her confidence was off the charts. She KNEW she had me, but she also knew she could play freely and explore parts of herself that she never knew she had.

It’s been 18 years. She finally ditched her first boyfriend after 15 years of self-exploration. She now has a second boyfriend.

It’s been fun. We still see each other as our primary. We enjoy a great sex life together, but my wife is free to play on the side and LOVING it.

[Luvelixer]

...
It’s been 18 years. She finally ditched her first boyfriend after 15 years of self-exploration. She now has a second boyfriend.

It’s been fun. We still see each other as our primary. We enjoy a great sex life together, but my wife is free to play on the side and LOVING it.

Thank you for the well written reply to my post. The story of your journey was very eye opening. This is something I should not expect to happen right away. In fact, I'm afraid if I mention it to her she will freak out and leave me. I have read many stories on here where the relationship didn't last. My wife is reserved but does enjoy sex. Before we were going out I used her laptop and found a browser tab open with some porn on it. It was very hot but we were not dating yet. I just said, "wow that's cool." But she was really embarrassed about it and I don't want her to feel like she is being judged by me.

She is in her last year of medical school so some rotations can be difficult and others easy. When her schedule is less dense I am planning to do something romantic so it's just us. No housework, family, or anything that could stress her out. Then hopefully I get lucky. I want to make this day all about her and then ask if she's up for it we can talk about fantasies or watch porn or story on her likes.

I read on another post on here where a couple write their sex wish list. I thought that might be a good idea too. She is always up to have sex but I want her to really enjoy it. When I mean always up for it she has told me as long as she is not on her period she won't deny me. I told her she can if she's too tired or not in the mood but she says she enjoys it and wants me to feel good. I like to see her cum, maybe that's why I am into cuckolding because if I can't do it then someone else can. I want to see her go wild.

[MartasBoy]

In your lived experience, what was the best way to bring it up cuckolding? I know that it could be rejected outright and I'm ok with that but what's the best way to bring up the subject in a way that a wife or girlfriend would be open to considering sleeping with another man?

Very slow and gradual. I started with just sharing with her, when I saw other guys checking her out, and told her that it excited me and turned me on, to see other men finding her attractive, possibly even lusting for her. She was 32 then, and laughed it off, saying that she didn't think she was very hot anymore, like she was in her twenties.
So I asked her to play a game with me, just to see. We would go to an upscale bar, in the cocktail lounge of a nice hotel, with her dressed nicely, for a date night. I would go in a few minutes ahead of her, get a beer from the bar, and go sit a distance away, at a table in a corner, sort of behind a planter with a large fern. She would come in a few minutes later, and sit by herself at the bar.
We agreed, that if anybody asked, she was there waiting to meet a girlfriend after work, for a drink. She didn't think she needed a backstory, thinking that she would remain alone, and nobody would really notice her.

But guys did notice her, and they would come up to chat with her and ask to buy her a drink. She told them that she was waiting for her girlfriend to arrive. They would ask to keep her company and chat with her until her girlfriend arrived. After a while, I would send her a text message saying, "This is from your girlfriend, telling you that she got hung up at work with a work crisis, and will be unable to make it." The several times that we did this, guys would stay to visit with her, and keep her company. I encouraged her to accept their next offer to buy her a drink.

We would process later, and I made a point of telling her that it really turned me on to see these men desire her company, and want to be with her. It excited me when she told me that they had asked for her phone number, or if they could buy her dinner, or see her another time.

Then she would excuse herself after a while, and we would meet in the parking lot and go home. Then we'd carry the experience to a fantasy role play at home. There weren't many of the guys that she found attractive. And she would say that she couldn't imagine herself going with most of them. But, there were a couple she admitted to finding handsome and interesting.
I would ask her to do a role play with me, in which she imagined what it would be like if she went with one of the guys she found attractive, and joined him in his hotel room upstairs. I would ask her to tell me what she would imagine that sex would be like with him.

A few times, we did this while she would be giving me a handjob. She was very cautious of not wanting to hurt my feelings, and she held back for a long time. But, over time, doing this role play, she could feel my arousal as she had her hand around my penis, and told me some imagined aspects of sex in the hotel room with the man she found attractive.

I often told her that I had fantasies about small penis humiliation, but she was always reluctant to take it very far. But there was one guy who bought her drinks, who was taller and more broad shouldered and muscular than me. She had started letting go of some of her caution and reluctance by that point, and told me that she imagined him having the largest penis of any man she'd ever been with, and that sex hurt with him a little bit, but in a way that felt exciting, and that it gave her orgasms like she never had before. At one point, she exclaimed, "Oh my god! This kind of talk really does turn you on. I can feel you getting harder in my hand as I talk about it."

This helped her realize how honest I had been about how the fantasy turned me on. We continued doing the pickup practice at the hotel cocktail lounge, and then weaving fantasies about the guys she met.
This just helped her accept everything more, very gradually, over time. But it takes time. And some never get past the role play Fantasy stage.

[hiker]

Great idea and very well written.....

[tn_cpl_4bull]

As far as the INITIAL ice-breaker, I have always thought that presenting your fantasy as a dream is a great approach. And since it is something you daydream about, it really is a type of dream, lol. But seriously, if you start out telling her that you had a really unusual dream - one where she was with another man - and in the dream, you weren't upset by that, but were supportive. You casually mention how "weird" that was. Then, you don't press her, ask her opinion, or anything - just actively listen to her response (which very well might be negative).

Wait several days/weeks, and then "have" the dream again, perhaps sharing a bit more detail of how, in the dream, you both felt safe, comfortable, and excited for her to explore things with your blessing and support. Again, you mention you were surprised yourself, that in your dream, you weren't jealous, upset, angry, etc, but even enjoyed the idea.

Hopefully, this serves as a catalyst for a deeper conversation. Logically, she can't get upset or angry with you over a dream. No one controls the crazy dreams they sometimes have. So there shouldn't be disgust or guilt trips or anything like that. But it might open the door to a conversation about how you or she would feel about such an arrangement. Again, this isn't meant to be the whole conversation, but merely an ice-breaker, to get a conversation started, hopefully in a way that you don't get seen as a pervert, trying to get rid of her, trying to justify you having an affair later, or any of the other misconceptions a wife might initially have.

That's just my 2 cents....

[OldChap]

Whenever you see someone checking your wife/gf out, point it out to her. Make sure she knows other guys think she's hot and that you like that they're looking at her. It will boost her ego and maybe inspire her to dress sexier. Hopefully at some point, she'll try to make you jealous by joking about going home with them, and you can let it slip that you think it would be hot.

[dinoo]

Something like 15 years before my wife turned into a HW, my wife asked me (while we had intercourse) if I ever imagined fucking another woman.
I answered with a NO and of course I posed the same question to her.
Our conversation or something like this.
"Yes I do, more times."
Me: "That is hot. Do I know this man?"
She: "In fact there are several men I'm dreaming of. And yes you know them all."
Me: "Please tell me at least one name?"
She: "No I don't. I want that keep secret for myself. Are you upset now?"
Me: "No, not at all. But if it ever comes to that, you have to tell me."
She: "So, if I understood it well, you will not be angry when I will fuck another man?"
Me: "No it is your life but as I said already you have to tell me. Details too. That is the only wish I have. Promise me."
She: "I do promise."

After becoming a HW, she fucked many men (at our beloved club and some at home).
What touched me positively was how she enjoyed it. Preferably while I was watching.
She got two regular lovers (one black, the other white) with whom she did it bare ultimately.

SO MY ANSWER IS THAT ACTUALLY IT WAS MY WIFE BRINGING IT UP AND THAT WAS A VERY EASY WAY FOR ME.

[Luvelixer]

Since my last post I have been trying to get my wife to have a more relaxing time. Making sure she has dinner and breakfast, giving her back rubs, and keeping things clean so when she comes back from a long shift she can just relax and be happy.

It has helped a lot and we have been having sex more often than before. It also helped she just started an easier rotation and not night shifts. So two weeks ago we were watching something on Prime and some sexy scenes came up. We got busy and I suggested we watch something more graphic. I just pulled something up from a site but nothing cuckold or crazy. I just ate her out and did a lot of foreplay while she watched. Then a few days later we did it again and I would put something on each time before we went to bed.

Last night I found something different for her. When we just started dating she had a problem with a laptop she had and I saw some interracial porn. She was embarrassed and I didn't make it a thing then and I never saw other porn on her laptop after that.

So we are in bed making out while it started up. I downloaded this from another site. It was a Japanese porn with a black actor. When she looked over at it she laughed and asked what was this. I said I thought maybe she should try something different. At first she was just watching and then I started touching her. We didn't watch the whole thing as I skipped to the main parts but she really got into it. The sex was amazing and we kissed and touched every part of our bodies. There were light cuckolding parts of it but it was more like the girl was cheating but not a main part of the story for what we watched.

Afterwards she asked me if I watched it before because I knew where to skip to. I said I did because I thought she would like it. She asked why I thought she would. I asked if she did like it and she said it is different. I said I remembered I saw a porn like that on her computer and thought it could spice things up.

She said it did.