The shivers?

[1tk]

Anytime we’re talking about her sleeping with someone else or really getting into the details.… I get the shivers like I’m really cold. Perhaps a rush of anxiety or adrenaline. Does this happen to anyone else? It’s quite intense.

[Restarting]

I've gotten them when my wife was out with another man. It happened more when she was first getting started in the lifestyle.
I agree, anxiety and adrenaline. Do you get them when she's out?

[BT2]

My wife became a hotwife several decades ago. I don't ever remember getting shivers, bur I do remember the first couple of times I got so preoccupied with the newness and thrill of it all that her having intimate sex with another guy was constantly on my mind for a couple of days after each of her hotwife activities.

Now, years later. I no longer get preoccupied, but if she has a solo visit I find myself looking at my watch and imagining what they are doing at each stage as the evening progresses.

[john1616]

100%. The first of only two times she fucked another man for the first time. He sent me photos through and each one was slow to load. As they started coming through with images of him being kissed on the neck by her and then him sucking one of her nipples, I was literally trembling with adrenaline. I had zero anxiety, just pure adrenaline surge. It was pretty intense

[ferrisandrews]

Dopamine. I don't imagine I'll ever feel differently about it.

[SoCalOHWFan]

Definitely anxiety. For me, a beta blocker helps take the edge off.

[noreaster]

There were times where I was so turned on I would literally shake. Figured it was the adrenaline or excitement and was actually embarrassed about it although nobody else ever knew. Didn’t enjoy the shaking part but definitely enjoyed what brought it on! Kind of nice to know I wasn’t the only one to experience it.

[Thebestdays1]

I remember getting the shivers, the first morning my wife sent me into her sister's room. I knocked and entered when she said to and as I stood by the side of the bed and told her why I was there she said she suddenly felt shivery and I said that's how I felt too.

The only other time I can distinctly remember getting them was when I was waiting up so I could meet my wife's boyfriend. They'd been together for about a month by then and it had been agreed that I could stay up until after they'd come back from their date. I heard the front door open and then their whispering in the hallway and all of a sudden I felt a chill shoot down my back and I started shivering. It made me feel slightly weak as I stood up to greet them and introduce myself to him. We spoke for about a minute before she told me I should go to bed and as I climbed into bed I remember feeling cold and started shaking again.

I think I was excited about what was about to happen and probably slightly embarrassed too.

[1tk]

She hasnt played in 10+years due to kids and life but she recalls I would get it whenever we talked about it. And I am again as she’s working towards a guy she likes. It’s intense.

[Parsifal]

Yes, for sure, especially if I'm stoned.

[Swe_male]

100% when we talk about it I'll get the shivers. Haven't thought much about it rather than it's my brain that plays along.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

I remember the first dozen (or more?) times I watched, I’d get the shakes. Just watching his dick slide in (and hearing her moan in approval)….it was mind-blowing, and I’d shake.

I’m glad you brought it up. I had forgotten that detail over the decades, and suddenly it came rushing back when someone above mentioned adrenaline.

Even her boyfriend paused for a couple seconds and was like, “Dude. You okay?”

[Badapple39]

My wife and I were on the doorstep (figuratively) to having this fantasy come to fruition. I would get these shivers when I was alone and wouldn’t enjoy it. Took it as a bad omen. Or I’d get them after post it clarity.
Once I got them after a very spicy dirty talking handjob from the Mrs and because she was there, I enjoyed the shivers.
My wife tells me I love her too much to really want this to happen.

[ferrisandrews]

... My wife tells me I love her too much to really want this to happen.

That's sweet, but your anxiety has nothing to do with love. Anxiety comes from the fear of loss and that's independent of the person / thing(s) you fear losing. In this lifestyle, it's often a fear of losing control. It's in the BDSM realm for a reason and it's irrelevant whether or not you've used handcuffs. Fantasies are fun, but they are also safe (because we have total control of them). A power exchange can cause a fear of losing control which sparks anxiety because of the potential fallout that can result - becoming demoted, less in her eyes and generally unneeded (and the more potent feeling of being unwanted), losing her, becoming alone, etc. Just because those are fears don't at all mean they can't come true, but you probably know deep down whether or not that's a likely outcome.

Having said that, give yourself a break. You're just not ready yet. We were all there. Maybe you never will be and that's fine too. Just keep communicating with her and exploring. It could be that the fantasy is enough for you two. It's cliche but true, enjoy the journey and don't focus on the destination. Be at peace with that and enjoy your ride. Everyone's is different.

Good luck!

[Badapple39]

Thanks Ferris. Definitely just a fantasy. The shivers definitely came from everything you said about fear of losing control and being unneeded. Mostly because we never laid out boundaries or had a serious back forth discussion. It’s a foreign idea that we both don’t quite understand.
Thanks for your kind words. I’ll enjoy whatever journey this is. Ha

[bewareoflizzy]

Yes, for sure, especially if I'm stoned.

OMG. Yes, when Liz would walk into our bedroom all dolled-up in make-up, lingerie, and heels, we would drink wine and smoke pot and as she was about to tell me of her night with Jim the previous evening, I would break down in shivers as if I had been thrown into a freezer naked. It would take some time under the covers before I could recover and listen to her recount her experience.

[Parsifal]

Definitely anxiety. For me, a beta blocker helps take the edge off.

That's a great idea. My wife loves it when I'm light blue chill with it. When she knows I'm imperturbable, she feels free to dirty talk intellectually.

[zorro]

There are so many good reasons to feel anxiety when you're doing something society has always told you you shouldn't do. I don't recall having shivers, but I sure recall the intense arousal and uncertainty that goes with it. I had always feared everything would change if another man fucked my wife. I recall feeling a punch in the stomach that quickly passed. Then although I knew everything had changed, I realized nothing had changed. My love and her love were intact.

Just notice your feelings, ask what they are about, and go through them. Once you get to the other side, there can be wonderful rewards for a little bit of anxiety.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

…duplicate of below…

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

There are so many good reasons to feel anxiety when you're doing something society has always told you you shouldn't do.

[…]

Just notice your feelings, ask what they are about, and go through them. Once you get to the other side, there can be wonderful rewards for a little bit of anxiety.

I remember the first time I smoked pot as a kid.

I remember my stomach felt all giddy because I was about to do something society would disapprove. Total fucking rebellion for a 14-year-old!

[Badapple39]

Bucking the trend. That’s the allure!

[aracuckold]

The first time I saw him bend over her, lift her dress, and take out his thick, erect penis, I remember asking him, "No, no, don't do that," and suddenly he push his pcock in her pussy and growled loudly. I felt a shiver.

[BCiym]

The first time I saw Karen drive off to see her lover I felt woozy, my heart was racing, and my stomach was tied in knots. I was thrilled and I was scared I just flushed my marriage down the toilet.