I posted our story a while back, then chickened out and deleted it. It's been a journey for sure, struggling with acceptance and everything. I guess I'm more ready to share this time.
A little background on us:
We're together since college, have two beautiful kids. For the first ten-plus years we were the couple everyone expected to stay vanilla forever. Professional careers, conservative background (mainly on her side), going to church every week in the early years, later drifting into comfortable secularism. Sex that was loving, but increasingly routine. That slow fade from active faith turned out to be the quiet prerequisite that let us even entertain what came next.
A few years ago my wife developed an intense emotional and lightly physical flirtation with a colleague. When she told me everything, immediately, voluntarily, in tears, I felt the stab of betrayal. But almost simultaneously, and to my lasting bewilderment, I felt an unmistakable surge of arousal. The combination was cognitively dissonant in the extreme: the same mind shaped by years of fidelity and fear of the possibility of cheating, was suddenly flooded with vivid, humiliating, intoxicating images.
We spent weeks in near-constant dialogue. Late-night talks after the children were asleep, notes exchanged in shared documents. Read everything we could find: Esther Perel on desire in marriages and psychology of cheating, Wednesday Martin on female promiscuity, evolutionary psychology on sperm competition, podcasts about non-monogamy, the more thoughtful threads in lifestyle forums (like this one) and discussed them.
We decided to visit a lifestyle club once “just to observe” and even though nothing happened there, it opened a new world for us. We talked to people, baffled how open there were sexually and we left so turned on we barely made it home. What was starting to emerge however was an asymmetry. My wife had awakened to a genuine need for sexual novelty and the ego boost of being desired by new men. I discovered that I have a significant performance anxiety in front of other people, and an unexpectedly powerful erotic response to her autonomy and pleasure.
After our club visit and some polite chats on their platform, we learned about larger lifestyle sites and created a modest joint profile on one. With a few photos hinting at her beauty and petite figure and an honest bio about being curious newcomers. A man named Anders messaged us there shortly after. According to his profile, a tall, educated, hung and slightly dominant Scandinavian. His first message was warm and perceptive. He recognized we were feeling a pull we couldnt yet fully name, and offered to simply talk, perhaps gently guide if we wanted.
We were both deeply unsure at that point. I wrestled with doubts, half-hoping it would stay flirty or maybe become the threesome I'd fantasized about years ago but never dared try. My wife was clearly drawn to the novelty he represented, his words made her light up, but she was just as worried about what it might do to our marriage.
Conversation flowed easily. He shared his previous experiences and asked questions that helped us voice things we'd only hinted at before. After a few days she started replying to him privately too, exploring what she craved and what boundaries mattered. Those solo exchanges added a thrilling tension for both of us. Eventually we suggested a low-pressure in person meeting, just a drink, no expectations beyond conversation, public place. Anders was an absolute gentleman. Attentive, funny, respectful. By the end, our loudest doubts had quieted, and we agreed to meet again.
For the second meeting he arranged drinks at a stylish bar connected to a hotel where he'd booked a suite, making it clear the room was only if we all felt ready. That thoughtful planning removed a layer of logistical stress and signaled his experience and care. The evening was relaxed, full of lighthearted chat, until a final check-in confirmed we wanted to go upstairs.
The moment the elevator doors closed, the energy shifted. Anders turned to my wife, placed a hand lightly on her lower back, and drew her into a slow, deliberate kiss. She melted into it instantly, her body softening against his much taller frame, while I stood a foot away, watching in stunned silence as the numbers climbed. It was the first physical confirmation of everything we'd discussed, and it hit me like a wave: this was really happening.
When we stepped into the suite, the dynamic crystallized. It became immediately clear that he was going to lead. I don't remember deciding to sit, I simply found myself on the chair while they remained standing. My wife unbuttoned his shirt with trembling fingers, then his belt, her eyes flicking between his face and mine, seeking reassurance perhaps, but also clearly lost in the moment. Then he took over, peeling away each layer until she stood naked and vulnerable before him. Without a word she sank to her knees in front of him.
That image, my beautiful wife on her knees for another man while I sat watching, remains burned into me. Reality turned out very different from my inital imagining. No threesome or shared participation from me at all. Instead, he took her fully, while I stayed in that chair, witnessing her surrender in ways she never had with me. Yet through all of it it somehow felt undeniably right. An emotional and erotic clarity, that neither of us could have predicted.
Watching the woman I’ve loved for almost twenty years with another man, hearing the sounds she made when he entered her (sounds I had literally never elicited myself), was simultaneously the most humbling and most erotic experience of my life. When they finished and he left, she was trembling, flushed, covered in his cum, glowing in a way I had never seen. The reclamation sex that followed, with her still loose from him, remains the single most intense sexual experience either of us has ever had.
How it all began for us
Re: How it all began for us
Great account!
Re: How it all began for us
Wow! So hot ! Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! I suppose it wasn't the last time?
Re: How it all began for us
Hopefully, you will share more! You are a tremendous writer