A Hotwife That Needs Some Advice

[smoothmin]

“My husband and I have been happily married for almost 42 years. We love each other deeply, but our marriage has always had a unique twist: he identifies as a sissy-cuckold. He shared this with me more than 25 years ago, and because he’s an amazing partner, I embraced it. Although I’ve never taken another lover, we’ve still enjoyed a warm, female-led cuckold dynamic.

For years my husband has urged me to use a ‘free pass’ and find a boyfriend. Recently, at a friend’s gathering, I met a very handsome man who flirted with me—something that doesn’t happen much at 71! He asked me to meet him for lunch or dinner, and we exchanged phone numbers.

When I shared this with my husband, I expected excitement, but he became anxious and started to complain. I was frustrated: after all, he’s been encouraging me for decades. In the heat of the moment I took the keys to his chastity cage and told him he’ll get them back when he can support me the way he’s always promised.

I cherish my husband’s oral devotion, yet after years without penetrative sex I’d love to feel what it’s like to be with a partner who can provide that.

To fellow hotwives: how did you bridge the gap between fantasy and reality when emotions ran high? Any suggestions for helping my husband manage his feelings while I explore would be greatly appreciated.”*

[EvilGenius23]

I think that you have done everything right and it IS time for hubby to rise (lol) to this occasion

do better sissy...she has enabled you to live your fantasies for years and it's time to return the favor...without noise or complaint..like I said DO BETTER !!

[Mr1SexyGILF]

Sounds to me like it’s time to have an outside the bedroom, sincere, honest, face to face conversation. This is a real dilemma and I feel for you.

If I understand correctly, he has told you all these years, he wants this for you. In many regards, if he is a man who honors his word, he owes you the experience. But, not at the expense of devastating consequences to your marriage.

This is the dilemma I’m certain you are weighing, and must be communicated through with him. You will read it here over and over, the foundation for successfully navigating Ethical Non Monogamy is Communication, Communication, Communication.

Best Wishes and Please do keep us updated, Mr GILF

PS It might be good for hubby to join in on this thread or start his own, to help him sort out his feelings.

[Mr1SexyGILF]

I’m a little confused though. Someone using your username made this post to the Listen or Watch thread on Feb 19, 2025.

Not allowed to watch. When her boyfriend stays overnight he gets the master bedroom. I’m locked in chastity and I stay in the guest room which is next door. I’m not allowed in the hallway but I can hear them through the walls as they play. They are very loud so I can hear everything. I stand by waiting and anxious for one of them to call me in for clean up duty. Usually I enter and she tells me to get busy. He usually is lying next to her watching as I lap up their goodness. She is very complementary and tells me how I’m such a good sissy gurl. He just enjoys the power dynamic and sometimes will allow me to clean him up. It depends on his mood. It’s weird but my wife and I love it.

??? Mr GILF

[smoothmin]

Oh No! I need to clarify this. Sorry.

[smoothmin]

Hi everyone,

I realize my posts caused some confusion, so here are the facts:

1. Both posts describe our friends—not my wife and me.
I (Smoothmin) wrote the February 19 2025 “Listen or Watch” post and the recent “Needs Some Advice” post on behalf of an older hot-wife / cuckold couple who avoid social media. Everything happened to them and is shared with their permission.

1. Why I’m posting for them.
They’re in their seventies and value the insight here, so I agreed to relay their story—lightly anonymized—so they can benefit from your feedback.

1. Our own marriage.
My wife and I are happily together in a sissy-cuckold marriage. She does have a standing “free pass,”. We’re simply acting as messengers for our friends in this case.
2. Housekeeping.
I’ll add “(Shared with permission on behalf of friends who are not forum members)” to both threads.

If posting second-hand experiences is against the rules, please let me know and I’ll adjust.

Meanwhile, any advice on helping their husband manage his nerves as his wife explores a new partner would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for understanding, and apologies for the mix-up.

— Smoothmin

[leggysman]

Thanks for clearing it up. I assumed the quote marks and the asterisk (while unexplained) suggested that you were posting on behalf of someone. No problem .

[zorro]

I am struck how the request for input from a HW has resulted only in HW hubbies responding.
Assuming the genuineness of the post (and despite the confusing beginning, the issue sounds real to me), what would HWs counsel?

[Tryagain]

Just tell him that you are just too old to be lost to another man!

[MartasBoy]

“My husband and I have been happily married for almost 42 years. We love each other deeply, but our marriage has always had a unique twist: he identifies as a sissy-cuckold. He shared this with me more than 25 years ago, and because he’s an amazing partner, I embraced it. .....


...... ..To fellow hotwives: how did you bridge the gap between fantasy and reality when emotions ran high? Any suggestions for helping my husband manage his feelings while I explore would be greatly appreciated.”*

This is just another man's opinion here, but it is quite common for us to have very mixed feelings about this stuff.
We often advise the Newbie guys who come on here by saying, "Be careful what you wish for." Often the things we fantasize about, sound all very exciting in our fantasies, and we are able to convince ourselves that we actually want our fantasies to happen. Then when they happen, sometimes we freak out and realize that there are aspects of the reality, that more scary than what we fantasized.

Talk about it with him. Tell him how confusing it is that he has asked you to do this in the past, encouraged you, talked about it, and now that you have an opportunity to do it, he is freaking out about it.

My greatest fear of the reality, is fearing that one day my wife might come to me and tell me she realizes she's falling in love with someone else, and the whole kink and fantasy stuff is something she's gotten tired of, and just once a regular love life with somebody else.

My wife reassures me a lot by telling me that she thinks I am the perfect husband for her. Catering to my fantasies is just something she chooses to do, satisfy my needs, because of what a wonderful husband I have been to her. She tells me that she can't imagine growing old with anybody else but me. This is always the reassurance I need.