New and Confused

[Subzero84]

Hey guys, married guy here and getting more confused every day.

My wife shared her bukkake and gangbang fantasies with me about 2 years ago. We began role playing and even bought 3 10 inch dildos which she named, any ways things were going great and we were having the most amazing sex. Her fantasies usually take place on mins and construction sites where she basically has sex with 100s of men and they then finish all over her. To cut a long story sge was getting so into it we discussed going to sex clubs and she even joined our local sex clubs whatsapp group. However out of the blue she pulled the breaks and said no more roleplay and no more talk of it. I stopped thinking she just wanted a break however 8 months later anesthesia not budging however she still takes the dildos during sex and plays with them. She has also begun playing with them without me and she went and purchased an electric toothbrush for stimulating the clit. Whats going guys? I'm confused anyone else experiencing this?

[elina]

Dear Subzero84

Welcome to the OHW forum and thanks for introducing yourself.

As for the question; Never forget that it is the privilege of a Lady to change Her mind; She may do so again.
It is not uncommon for people with this kind of extreme fantasies to go into denial, and then maybe to come back to it later. After all, being gangbanged by 100 guys at a building site may be a safe fantasy in Her cozy bed with a loving husband, but if She actually started thinking about doing it nobody should be surprised if She suddenly was scared of Her own urges.

My suggestion; stay close with Her, make sure She understands you love Her regardless, listen to Her if/when She does want to talk about it and find ways to stimulate Her but make sure She does not experience you are pushing....

Just my personal thoughts for your perusal.

Sincerely
elina

[Subzero84]

Hey Elina, thanks for your response I really appreciate. Your advice us definitely valued. Lol we would never do the construction site fantasy in real life. Do you think she shows potential to be a hotwife?

[Trevose]

Ah the difference betwixt fantasy and real life.
It's not always easy to judge. Good luck.

[Subzero84]

Agreed Trevrose. Thanks for the luck

[coastalkid]

Welcome to the forum Subzero!

[coastalkid]

The logical guess is that it got too real for her and it wasn't going to make things easier for her with you obsessing about it. I'm not saying you were or weren't. I'm merely suggesting that that's what she "may" have been thinking as a possibility.

That she even revealed her fantasies to you is a huge advantage. Do you think she may have known you would like her fantasy and and only used it to turn you on, with no intention to follow through on it? How vividly did she describe things? Could you see any real lust in her when she was talking about her fantasies? Do you suppose she may have felt vulnerable revealing her fantasies and regretted telling you?

The dildos are another matter. That she would use them on her own says something. It could be that she has had a change of mind towards the dildos. Maybe she feels like she can get satisfaction from them without all the potential drama of dealing with the hot wife lifestyle. I'm blindly guessing.

Since she shut down anything to do with the idea, what has your sex life been like? Do you feel like you pushed things too much now you've had some time to think about it? Sometimes it's time to lay low. Observe things a while. See if you notice more changes like her using her dildos on her own. Don't make her feel like you're fixated on the idea. Get her to relax and not feel like she has to do something.

Just throwing out thoughts and guesses. Maybe they might spark an idea or thought for you.

[Subzero84]

Hey coastal kid, I hope you good man and thanks for your response and interesting take on this. So to answer your question. Extremely vividly she would go into detail describing the men. For example she would tell me what they were wearing head to toe. She mentioned thier race, hair color, if they were cut or uncut, their smell, eye color, body shape, she even went as far as to say one of the black guys had a pink tinge to his cock which I thought was interesting due to the fact that only someone who has seen.a black cock up close would know about that right?. Her lust was off the hook man, she would almost be in a trance like state describing the scenario and men. The regret aspect is possible but also doesn't make sense to me because damn she would get so wet and horny during the roleplay and even message me at work saying she loved last night and cant wait to visit her men again soon. Maybe I pushed to much but I did do my best as to not go over board, most of the time she was instigating it. When we fuck tho she starts sucking my fingers and nipples I can just see shes thinking of the bukkake and gangbangs and like I mentioned earlier she will go and get the dildos too. Do you think if I lay low she will miss it enough? Your advice will be greatly appreciated.

[coastalkid]

I can definitely understand how it all is confusing for you. How strongly has she held to not discussing it or not having the role play? What has the sex been like since she called off the fantasy talk? Have you noticed any different attitude from her since?

Clearly the thoughts are in her head! You can't have such vivid descriptions and JUST thought about it in passing. I would guess she's battling it out in her head. She's probably told herself that you are already convinced that you're all for it. It's just a guess on my part, she's probably had sobering thoughts about how it would be for real.

I don't think you'll have much luck pressing the matter. You could try but I think it will only frustrate you and further entrench her against the idea. Once again that's a guess. Laying low can't hurt that much. It'll give you time to assess things and find out what prompted in change in attitude.

[MartasBoy]

Hey guys, married guy here and getting more confused every day.

My wife shared her bukkake and gangbang fantasies with me about 2 years ago. We began role playing and even bought 3 10 inch dildos which she named, any ways things were going great and we were having the most amazing sex. Her ........


.... going to sex clubs and she even joined our local sex clubs whatsapp group. However out of the blue she pulled the breaks and said no more roleplay and no more talk of it. I stopped thinking she just wanted a break however 8 months later anesthesia not budging however she still takes the dildos during sex and plays with them. She has also begun playing with them without me and she went and purchased an electric toothbrush for stimulating the clit. Whats going guys? I'm confused anyone else experiencing this?

It's not uncommon for women to start feeling out of sorts about it all. You hear some women on here talking about how much they enjoy feeling naughty, and getting in touch with their inner slut girl. But there are many more women who have never envisioned doing anything like this.

Many girls and young women grow up fantasizing about one day meeting that special guy, the man who will be their knight in shining armor, a man who will adore them and want to put them on a pedestal and regard them as a goddess.

If they had a good mother, worthy of their respect, that will be the role model they look up to and strive to be more like. Being a naughty, is just too much for some. They start to feel guilty about it.

We men have more experience at separating our sexy Kink brain, from the times when we switch gears and go out into public.


I have a dear couple friend who got into salsa dancing, and even joined some contests. They were often one of the older couples. Most of the other contestants were much younger, and the women wore very sexy dance outfits, with very short ruffled, side slit skirts, and skimpy tops showing off breasts and cleavage.

They always got second and third place, but people would come up to them and tell them they felt it was unfair and that they were actually the better dancers in the contest. We realize that my friend's wife was dressing less sexy than the other women. We suggested to her that she should try wearing a sexier outfit. She resisted. When we mentioned it again, she got angry and defensive one day and hollered, "I can't dress sexy! I'm a middle-aged PTA mom with two daughters!"

We told her how far she looked from the middle-aged PTA mom, when she was out on that dance floor. She was still very pretty, and had a very nice figure. She finally agreed to get and elegant dance skirt and they more often got first place. But she really had this image of herself that she was a middle-aged PTA mom and that she wasn't sexy and couldn't look sexy.

I have heard of women who did some kinky activities with their husbands on weekends, and felt embarrassed when they were at PTA bake sales with the other moms, imagining that the other moms can look at them somehow and see the taint of sexy shame on their face. Some women don't compartmentalize it very well and leave the one life at home, without thinking about it when they are in the other life.