Wife cheating even with permission

[Shiphead]

This has probably been asked many times. But since search seldom works, l'll ask again.
How many guys think the wife isn't sure that her husband is serious. So she cheats and gives her husband little info that nothing sexual happened so she can judge his reaction?
I believe it is very hard for a wife to admit fucking someone else even with hubby's permission.
Additionally, giving permission without some ground rules that would hurt you is a mistake. I think we, as men need to protect ourselves from being hurt. Of course rules could change over time as feelings change.
Back to my question and belief that a large portion of women test their men and likely cheat, or better said, don't share everything with hubby until they are convinced that it's actually ok?

[leggysman]

This has probably been asked many times. But since search seldom works, l'll ask again.

Search works most of the time now, things have been done.

[Shiphead]

Thanks Leggys man. I haven't been on much in a while and didn't know things improved. I'll test it out. Thank much. Oh, BTW, your wife is extremely hot.

[firef503]

I have been with my fair share of wives that have full permission but haven't taken the first step. Most of the time they prefer to cheat behind his back and have the added security of knowing that is she gets caught he will only be turned on.

[Marksmall5]

Think you are right. Think it is the excitment of having sn affair, more than the affair that drives this along. I am pretty sure many more wives cheat than is acknowledged in the broader society.
Public life vs private life. I have found also wives or partners who don't count it as "sex" unless it is intercourse. Flerting, emotional cheating, texting, kissing, felt up, 69, bj, teabagging or most other acts are thought of as not proper sex. Have seen this view a few times. If not "proper" sex, then they imagine they have not "cheated".

[BBCfan]

So I have considered this A LOT as my wife has the green light from me and the willing "bull" candidate for 3 years now.
She says she would never not tell me, but over the years I have let her know it's not that important to me anymore to know immediately.
She could tell me whenever the timing seemed right for her.
She says she would still tell me but I don't think that's true.

I think for her she would rather the guy thinks it's cheating, as I think she would be kind of embarrassed if she told him I was okay with it.  Plus this guy knows some friends of hers,  So he's more likely to keep his mouth shut if he thinks it's cheating.

So if she's gonna have it set up as a cheating thing, then she's likely going to wait to tell me with what she thinks is perfect timing, which may not happen for a while.

I also think if she's doing it, a part of her is enjoying the secret re-connection with him and  and me knowing and asking questions about it might feel like an invasion and "buzz kill" in that space.

Also I have noticed in past with unrelated issues, if she thinks there's something that will hurt me or disappoint me, she'll avoid doing it until it's absolutely necessary.

So if she is doing it I think it might take weeks or even months until I found out, if at all?

[Marksmall5]

Think the best position is to assume the wife/partner will at some point cheat in some form or another and that this is OK and normal. Then by extension if it is normal (and you find it arousing), let it be known one way or another that this is OK with you.
Then if she does do this, less guilt, may tell you all about it and it is in the open. I like the idea of the "hall pass", and like "BBCfan" said not really knowing, and having her know she has her freedom to take a lover, and at any given time she may be doing so.

[JeffCA]

marksmall is giving great advice here. Husbands should find ways of being supportive of the exploration and passions of their wives.

[Knightryder701]

I subscribe to the notion that wives would rather cheat than start an open Hotwife relationship. I admit my hypothesis is based on a sample of one failed marriage where the wife cheated and told and one current marriage where the wife cheated and continues to lie about it. Not the foundation of a Hotwife relationship which is why I remain a wanna be

[Bobs52]

Years before I had confessed my fantasy of her having sex with other men and given her complete permission to do it if the situation ever arose. She seemed uninterested in it but we used the fantasy in the bedroom.

Then one night she fucked a guy at her out of town high school reunion which I did not attend.

She was afraid to tell me however thinking I couldn’t really handle it and waited almost 2 years before she finally tearfully “confessed”

I led her straight to the bedroom for some supercharged sex.

The next day I bought her flowers.

The next week I took her to a jewelry store and told her to pick out almost anything she wanted and not to scrimp. She picked out a nice diamond necklace that we refer to as her “hotwife necklace”

She no longer harbors any doubt about my desire to see her do this again