Finding a new lover for my ex

[NorthOpen]

So the boyfriend flew back from Winnipeg tonight. He was to be at her apartment by 930 tonight.
He told Lianna he was going to stay at her place overnight.
A first.
She was so happy.
Then, I watched them drink to celebrate and both fall asleep.
Oh well
At least they're snuggling

[NorthOpen]

I spoke too soon. He woke her up about an hour into the snuggling by going down on her and making her cum, then he climbed between her legs and slid his dick into her while she held herself open for him. They got about 15 minutes of missionary in, kissing deeply frequently, and every so often he'd suck on her tits a bit, before he nutted inside her. She cuddled up against him and they stayed sleeping until morning.

Her work schedule meant that she had to be out the door by 7:15AM, and after the drinks and late night fucking, she was to tired to even get herself cleaned up before heading to work.

She messaged me just before her work ended, and asked if I wanted to come over and reclaim her tonight. Don't have to ask me twice! Going to have some fun!

[leggysman]

Sounds like a fun lady and situation you've got there. Unusual, but pretty cool.

[NorthOpen]

Ya, when she is happy in her life, she is a lot of fun.

The current boyfriend is still not ideal for her, of course, and she's still open to meeting someone new, but between letting the current one back into her bed and her busy work schedule, she doesn't have a lot of time to spend on dates with new guys, unfortunately. The few ads I've run have not really yielded results, either... the one guy that sorta had potential was not a physical match for her when he finally sent a photo.

But, hope springs eternal and if the current situation teaches me anything, it's that she *can* be kinky and fun as a vixen.

[NorthOpen]

Update:

Lianna came to visit for a few days as she needed to help her brother who has been suffering from cancer for a while, and I happen to live a lot closer to him than she does.

I don't have time to write all the details, but highlights of the visit included her asking me to shave her pussy (she finds it super erotic) and then taking two loads from me (mouth and pussy) shortly after that.

I woke her up with my mouth the next morning and brought her to orgasm, and then she asked for yet a third load from me in the shower, so I obliged her and then she drove herself back home. She messaged me when she got back, and said "There was a note in my mailbox that he [the boyfriend] had stopped by right about the time you were cumming inside me, that he may try again later lol. He might like the newly shaved feeling... or taste"

She may not always want to admit it, but she's having fun fucking two guys.

[venus-can99]

Sounds like after your divorce you and Lianna are more sexually into each other Really nice

[NorthOpen]

Sounds like after your divorce you and Lianna are more sexually into each other Really nice

I don't know if we are *more* sexually into each other, as we have always been quite attracted to each other and when we weren't angry with each other, the sex was plentiful, if a bit vanilla. So, maybe we have just let go of expectations, which has led to more openness around our sexuality? I don't know for sure though, that's just a theory on my part.

That said, we have issues that have never been resolved: we still handle money very differently (she spends it if she has it, I'm much more structured and methodical), she's messy (I'm super tidy), I embrace change (she resists it), etc. Plus, while I am very open about supporting Lianna with any guy that makes her happy, she struggles with jealousy.

For example, a couple of days ago we were driving somewhere and she was talking about how her job sucks and how she's struggling financially, so I mentioned that she can always move back in with me until she has her life sorted out... I have a spare room and it's nice to wake up next to each sometimes. She thanked me, and agreed it's nice to be close. She asked "What about Melanie?" And I said that since Lianna has her own room, she could sleep there when Melanie is visiting... Aaaand that was apparently the wrong thing to say. Lianna started to cry and said she couldn't do that.

Sometimes emotions are difficult, even when the intentions are good.

[NorthOpen]

Minor fun update: Lianna's boyfriend has been unable to connect with her for a few weeks and she told me that she's feeling a bit sexually frustrated. I told her that the next time she visits we should see if I can look after that for her.

Last weekend she let me know that she needed a place to crash because she had an early morning appointment near me, so I made sure to have the spare room ready so she could have her choice about where to sleep.

Our daughter was hanging out with us for the evening watching a movie so we didn't really have a chance to play, which was fine, but once everyone had gone to sleep, I was awakened by Lianna's soft warm mouth on my cock. As I quickly shifted out of my slumber, I realized she had crept from the guest room into my bedroom, and now was making sure I was ready to relieve that sexual frustration she was feeling.

Our daughter was snoozing across the hallway in her own room, so we were keeping as quiet as possible, but it was difficult as Lianna is exceptionally skilled at sucking dick.

Once she had me rock hard and ready to cum, she stopped and rolled onto her back, showing me her glistening pussy in the moonlight coming through the bedroom window and whispered "make me cum with your tongue", so I happily dove in head first and it hardly took any time for her to clamp her thighs around my head and quietly achieve the release she was seeking.

I figured that would be it, but she moved up beside me and whispered "let's not let that hard cock and this wet pussy go to waste. Want to give me a load? It would make me happy if you would."

I told her to bend over and she immediately complied, sticking her ass in the air and offering her pussy for my pleasure.

Seriously, I think I was about 10 strokes into slowly fucking her doggy style when she reached between our legs and gave my balls a good squeeze and ... Boom, I shot off a huge load inside her in record time.

We both flopped over onto the bed and I almost immediately went back to sleep, only to awake in the morning to find her back in the guest room, snoozing peacefully. I nudged her awake so she wouldn't be late to her appointment, and she immediately reached for my cock again. I let her get a few wonderful sucks in before I told her that there wasn't time, but I will let her finish another time.

[NorthOpen]

Okay that was Aug 7 and it's now Aug 17.
I think I will wind this down.
Thanks folks.

[johnswan]

Okay that was Aug 7 and it's now Aug 17.
I think I will wind this down.
Thanks folks.

You might get a slow and/or reduced reaction during August, as I think a lot of people are off on holiday.

I hadn't seen your thread before, partly because it's not in my preferred forum. But, having found it, I've enjoyed reading it. It has a different dynamic from other threads, and is all the more interesting because of it.
You and your wife are finding a way to live with each other, without actually living in the same house.

If she finds a better boyfriend than the current one, won't you be a bit disappointed, in that your sexual involvement with her could reduce or even come to an end?

Anyway, hope you will continue to post.

[NorthOpen]

Ah, I didn't think about August being vacation time, but you are right @johnswan.

Glad you enjoy the thread.

While I suppose that Lianna and I could eventually end the sexual part of our relationship, I feel like that's unlikely. When I've asked her (on multiple occasions) if she would want to keep sleeping with me if she found a new partner, she replies that a) any new partner must accept that I am part of the equation, and if he doesn't then she won't be with him, and b) if he's good/handsome/big-cocked/rich enough, she will take him as a partner and keep fucking me regardless. So, ya, there you go.

Update:

I am pretty confident in my size and technique. The various lovers I've had over the years (including Lianna) have stated unequivocally that I'm above average in size and technique and the sex with me is really good. That said, I have had 3 different women say that my balls are a little smaller than they're accustomed to, and that the fluid volume of my cum is a bit less than they're used to (they didn't say it clinically like that, but you get the point). It has never been a complaint, mind you, just an observation, as they also seemed to be quite satisfied with all the other parts of our intimacy.

I didn't think much about it until this past weekend, when Lianna's boyfriend paid an unexpected visit. We are all the same age, for reference, in our mid-fifties, and he has been fucking Lianna since 2021, and since Lianna has explained about the security camera in her bedroom, he hasn't blinked an eye.

On Saturday morning, she a single word over text: Video.

I waited like an idiot for about 3 minutes until I realized she wasn't following it by sending a video, but that she meant for me to look at the security camera. Sure enough, there she was on her bed, perpendicular to the camera, naked with her legs spread, rubbing her clit while her boyfriend stood at the edge of the bed stroking his cock, watching her. This went on for about 5 minutes, and in that time I got a good view of him and his size, and I do have to say that he is about the same size as me, though it looks like his balls are noticeably bigger.

Eventually he got between her legs and without any kind of warm up, he slid into her and started pounding. Now, this technique is quite different than mine... I tend to tease and rub and go slow until my partner is begging me to go hard all the way. Lianna has told me that she enjoys my approach more, but based on the expression on her face, she was loving him going full-tilt from the start.

I watched as he basically folded her in half, pinning her knees to her shoulders and slamming into her snug pussy as hard as he could. Her smile never wavered and after about 5 minutes (video timestamp) she had a small orgasm, and then looked him straight in the eye and said clearly "Give me your cum. I want it inside me," then looked at the camera and waved.

He either didn't notice or didn't care, because about 30 seconds after that he stopped moving, buried to the hilt inside of her, and grunted softly several times in a row. She held onto his thighs, keeping him there as he softened and recovered and his breathing slowed.

After a minute or so, he slipped out of her and his shiny, dripping cock hung impressively between his legs as she told him to go fetch a towel from the linen cupboard. As he left the room, she waved at the camera again and made that finger-gesture that means "come here" to the camera, but I kept watching long enough for him to return to the room with a towel, and that's when I learned another difference between him and I: fluid volume.

As he approached her with the towel, she parted her legs so he could slip it under her, but in that time, a HUGE pool of bright white cum gushed out of her pussy and landed on the bed between her legs. Frankly, it looked like a modest version of one of those fake cum videos from a porn site... So, despite being the same age as me, he seems to ejaculate a LOT more than me. Lianna has mentioned this in the past, but is inconsistent in what she has said. Sometimes she says it's about the same, sometimes she acknowledges that he produces more... regardless, she has *always* been consistent in saying that in her mind, she equates both male orgasm and cum volume with quality of sex. Meaning, she always wants whoever she's fucking to cum, and if he produces a lot of cum, that's proof they enjoyed it, so that's her yardstick of success.

So, she must have been pleased.

My cock was in my hand obviously as I heard him offer to take her out for lunch, but she declined and said she had some other plans, so he quickly kissed, her, put on his clothes and headed out the door. She lay there with the towel between her legs, grinning at the camera. So, I messaged her immediately and said "I am on my way, don't move."

I hadn't expected her to take me literally, but when I got there 30 minutes later, she had not moved an inch. She spread her legs and let the towel go, and *gush*, even more of his cum flowed out of her pussy, adding to the sticky white mess on the bed. I quickly tossed my clothes and moved between her legs to put my cock in her and add another load, but she stopped me and said "The towel dried me up a bit. Get me wet first."

Well, this was new.

I looked down at the puddle on the bed and back at her. She smiled and said "You know what to do. You know what I like." So, I decided in for a dime, in for a dollar, and started sucking on her clit. She does what she normally does and grabbed my head and started rubbing her pussy against my mouth until she orgasmed (again). Only at that point, after her pussy was sopping wet and my face was covered with both their juices did she let me go and said "Now it's your turn."

Of course, despite going slow and stead, doing my thing about teasing and getting her worked up, just the knowledge that I was fucking the last of his cum out of her after she had me lick her used pussy, and her beautiful face grinning at me knowing full well the kink factor involved, I blew my load inside of her in short order.

As I softened and slipped out of her, she asked if I enjoyed it, and I told her that any way to get her to cum is something I'm going to like a lot. She kissed me hard and then ran her tongue across my lips and said "You taste like his cum."

I flopped on the bed and she said she needed to pee, so she stood up and went to the bathroom, and I noted that my load did not gush out of her like his did. When she got back I noted the difference in volume and as she does, in her sweet way she said that she didn't really notice ... But clearly, there is. I asked her if she would repeat that experience and she said that she'd enjoy it again, and she really loved knowing that she had two loads inside of her, and really enjoyed her multiple orgasms for the day.

We snuggled together all afternoon (yes, in the wet spot and it took quite a while to dry into quite a crusty patch) and then I took her for dinner to end the evening, but not before we had another conversation about her moving back in with our daughter and me until she finds another, better job. So, who the fuck knows where we are at now, lol.

[DaveOnEdge]

This just got hotter.

Now, next time, maybe she can try the same thing, butt with a difference.

An... other Pie!

[pixmangurn]

NorthOpen, guilty of not commenting a lot, but very much enjoying your account. I think you'll find there are many more views than comments. PLEASE don't get discouraged!

[NorthOpen]

Thank you @pixmangurn, I appreciate the compliment.

A minor update:

Lianna messaged me this morning complaining that her smartphone is giving her grief (she's terrible with technology, so I doubt it's a hardware issue), so I asked if she wanted some assistance. She said yes, maybe after her work shift was over. Then she said she'd let me know, as her boyfriend had also said he might visit her after his workday was over.

So, I asked if she wanted to repeat the last time, and she responded that yes, she wanted the same thing, although not to get pounded so roughly by him, but that she loved having two loads inside of her, and (in her words) "I was so full of cum it was dripping out of me for 2 days... it was wonderful."

She's fun.

[coastalkid]

Things sure seem like they getting progressively better. Surely the way things have gone of late have given you some thoughts about reconciling in some new way with a new dynamic. You said she was fun. Is she only fun for a while?

[NorthOpen]

Indeed @costalkid we have discussed many times how to reconcile, but to this point we have not found a way to cohabitate in a way that works for both of us. When we lived together, we had friction around certain common themes: money, housecleaning, sex. Since we have stopped living together we don't have friction around those things. Visiting each other for short periods of time does work for us, however. For example Lianna comes and stays overnight usually once per week (it's 40-60 minutes from her place to mine on the highway, depending on traffic), and while she's in we are basically married again... Running errands, having meals, chatting with the kids, seeing extended family, making decisions about shared property, having sex, etc. But, those times are also good reminders that the friction still exists: she leaves a mess around the house and I clean it up... She spends too much money, but at least it's hers now... She sleeps in and I'm an early riser... Etc. but, since it's just one or two days, we know we can go back to our preferred lifestyle despite the friction.

Update on yesterday's post:

I ended up stuck in an online meeting when the boyfriend eventually showed up, but Lianna gave me the play by play afterwards.

She said he immediately started kissing her as soon as he stepped inside the door to her apartment. She mentioned that her apartment had become too hot and so she was already just wearing panties when he arrived, and his clothes came off almost immediately.

Apparently they didn't go to her bedroom, but elected to stay in her living room where the fan was blowing onto the loveseat. She said they spent time kissing and he nursed a bit on her big tits (which she loves), before he did something entirely unexpected: he told her to bend over the arm of the loveseat.

She certainly got my attention at that point. She has told me a few times that he always insists on missionary, and despite her often bending over and wiggling her ass at him as an offer, has never taken her from behind, let alone ask for it that way.

So, apparently yesterday was a first for her getting fucked doggy style by her boyfriend. She said she loved it and that despite having a minor headache from the heat, she would do it again. I asked if he had been gentle or rough, because last time they both seemed to enjoy him railing her pretty hard. Lianna said "he was mostly gentle this time".

That said, she lamented that there was no sloppy seconds for me, as he only fucked her from behind for a little while, and then when he asked where she wanted his cum, she asked for it on her tits. So, she sat on the loveseat and had him stand in front of her and stroke his load out onto her tits and tummy. She said she felt some hit her face but it wasn't much.

When I asked why she had chosen that location instead of her pussy, Lianna said she was so curious to see if his load was as big and thick as I had told her it appeared to be the last time, but unfortunately, she had taken her glasses off and the light had faded in the apartment so she couldn't see the results.

Then he took her out for wings at a local pub, which again is unusual... I have to admit I felt a millisecond of jealousy knowing that the landscape had shifted slightly, and what I had assumed would always be predictable behavior she didn't like (and kept me safe as the preferred lover) isn't so predictable anymore.

Lianna is on her way in later today and has promised that a) she wants me to make her cum with my tongue (because she didn't cum with him) and b) she wants me to take her from behind the same way he did, bent over the arm of the loveseat (in my case, a couch).

[coastalkid]

..... the friction still exists: she leaves a mess around the house and I clean it up... She spends too much money, but at least it's hers now... She sleeps in and I'm an early riser... Etc. but, since it's just one or two days, we know we can go back to our preferred lifestyle despite the friction.

I figured that would be the case. I suppose this is the next best alternative a sort of enhanced FWB situation. She's probably changed SOME but not enough.

Whenever I talk to my divorced friends at the bar about the struggle of finding another girlfriend they mention what they call "showstoppers", the stuff they learned that they could no longer tolerate. All of their stories are somewhat similar. They all seem to have one big reason for divorcing backed with a litany of other "lesser" issues. The odd thing is that their stories seem to dwell on those "lesser" things.

My take away is that they have learned what they want in terms of compatibility but their "showstopper" list is too extensive to find a person like that. From what I can tell they would rather be alone than risk tolerating anything. When I listen to their stories I can tell none of them want to be alone but they are too wounded to WANT to risk trying again.

[NorthOpen]

..... the friction still exists: she leaves a mess around the house and I clean it up... She spends too much money, but at least it's hers now... She sleeps in and I'm an early riser... Etc. but, since it's just one or two days, we know we can go back to our preferred lifestyle despite the friction.

I figured that would be the case. I suppose this is the next best alternative a sort of enhanced FWB situation. She's probably changed SOME but not enough.

Whenever I talk to my divorced friends at the bar about the struggle of finding another girlfriend they mention what they call "showstoppers", the stuff they learned that they could no longer tolerate. All of their stories are somewhat similar. They all seem to have one big reason for divorcing backed with a litany of other "lesser" issues. The odd thing is that their stories seem to dwell on those "lesser" things.

My take away is that they have learned what they want in terms of compatibility but their "showstopper" list is too extensive to find a person like that. From what I can tell they would rather be alone than risk tolerating anything. When I listen to their stories I can tell none of them want to be alone but they are too wounded to WANT to risk trying again.

Those are definitely some valid and reasonable observations about your friends. Yes, Lianna and I both have changed plenty, and she's the first to say "we've both grown" (and we have), but you are right, neither of us has changed enough to create the kind of environment where we could live together on a permanent basis, but we are sure knocking it out of the park with the way we've got things arranged now. One thing that made a big difference is that I realized some of her behavior was not her responsibility. Rather, it was either the result of unresolved childhood trauma, or a bit of autism, or both. Once I realized that, my persistent irritation with some of the (to me) crazy-making behavior vanished, to be replaced by compassion. I now see that I created the environment where she didn't feel safe to express her fears and mental health issues, and she now sees how she created the environment where it wasn't safe for me to say how much her behavior was wrecking our marriage.

I'm always curious about folks like your divorced friends who struggle with new post-divorce relationships. I wonder how many of them have done the work to reflect on what their contributions were to the breakdown of their marriages? On this very site, I often read about how poorly and unsupportive and self-centered people are behaving and then they're baffled why their relationships go sour. Really? Until they own their own shit, most of them won't be happy.

[Long Lurker 34]

..... the friction still exists: she leaves a mess around the house and I clean it up... She spends too much money, but at least it's hers now... She sleeps in and I'm an early riser... Etc. but, since it's just one or two days, we know we can go back to our preferred lifestyle despite the friction.

I figured that would be the case. I suppose this is the next best alternative a sort of enhanced FWB situation. She's probably changed SOME but not enough.

Whenever I talk to my divorced friends at the bar about the struggle of finding another girlfriend they mention what they call "showstoppers", the stuff they learned that they could no longer tolerate. All of their stories are somewhat similar. They all seem to have one big reason for divorcing backed with a litany of other "lesser" issues. The odd thing is that their stories seem to dwell on those "lesser" things.

My take away is that they have learned what they want in terms of compatibility but their "showstopper" list is too extensive to find a person like that. From what I can tell they would rather be alone than risk tolerating anything. When I listen to their stories I can tell none of them want to be alone but they are too wounded to WANT to risk trying again.

Those are definitely some valid and reasonable observations about your friends. Yes, Lianna and I both have changed plenty, and she's the first to say "we've both grown" (and we have), but you are right, neither of us has changed enough to create the kind of environment where we could live together on a permanent basis, but we are sure knocking it out of the park with the way we've got things arranged now. One thing that made a big difference is that I realized some of her behavior was not her responsibility. Rather, it was either the result of unresolved childhood trauma, or a bit of autism, or both. Once I realized that, my persistent irritation with some of the (to me) crazy-making behavior vanished, to be replaced by compassion. I now see that I created the environment where she didn't feel safe to express her fears and mental health issues, and she now sees how she created the environment where it wasn't safe for me to say how much her behavior was wrecking our marriage.

I'm always curious about folks like your divorced friends who struggle with new post-divorce relationships. I wonder how many of them have done the work to reflect on what their contributions were to the breakdown of their marriages? On this very site, I often read about how poorly and unsupportive and self-centered people are behaving and then they're baffled why their relationships go sour. Really? Until they own their own shit, most of them won't be happy.

NO
- Would that include being each others 'plus one' when such a need arises?

[NorthOpen]

..... the friction still exists: she leaves a mess around the house and I clean it up... She spends too much money, but at least it's hers now... She sleeps in and I'm an early riser... Etc. but, since it's just one or two days, we know we can go back to our preferred lifestyle despite the friction.

I figured that would be the case. I suppose this is the next best alternative a sort of enhanced FWB situation. She's probably changed SOME but not enough.

Whenever I talk to my divorced friends at the bar about the struggle of finding another girlfriend they mention what they call "showstoppers", the stuff they learned that they could no longer tolerate. All of their stories are somewhat similar. They all seem to have one big reason for divorcing backed with a litany of other "lesser" issues. The odd thing is that their stories seem to dwell on those "lesser" things.

My take away is that they have learned what they want in terms of compatibility but their "showstopper" list is too extensive to find a person like that. From what I can tell they would rather be alone than risk tolerating anything. When I listen to their stories I can tell none of them want to be alone but they are too wounded to WANT to risk trying again.

Those are definitely some valid and reasonable observations about your friends. Yes, Lianna and I both have changed plenty, and she's the first to say "we've both grown" (and we have), but you are right, neither of us has changed enough to create the kind of environment where we could live together on a permanent basis, but we are sure knocking it out of the park with the way we've got things arranged now. One thing that made a big difference is that I realized some of her behavior was not her responsibility. Rather, it was either the result of unresolved childhood trauma, or a bit of autism, or both. Once I realized that, my persistent irritation with some of the (to me) crazy-making behavior vanished, to be replaced by compassion. I now see that I created the environment where she didn't feel safe to express her fears and mental health issues, and she now sees how she created the environment where it wasn't safe for me to say how much her behavior was wrecking our marriage.

I'm always curious about folks like your divorced friends who struggle with new post-divorce relationships. I wonder how many of them have done the work to reflect on what their contributions were to the breakdown of their marriages? On this very site, I often read about how poorly and unsupportive and self-centered people are behaving and then they're baffled why their relationships go sour. Really? Until they own their own shit, most of them won't be happy.

NO
- Would that include being each others 'plus one' when such a need arises?

I dunno that I know for sure what you mean by 'plus one', but if it means that we accompany each other to events when it's ok/good/expected they have a date, absolutely we are each other's plus one. Is that what you mean? Or is there a different meaning in the stag/vixen/poly scene that I'm unaware of?

[coastalkid]

I'm always curious about folks like your divorced friends who struggle with new post-divorce relationships. I wonder how many of them have done the work to reflect on what their contributions were to the breakdown of their marriages? On this very site, I often read about how poorly and unsupportive and self-centered people are behaving and then they're baffled why their relationships go sour. Really? Until they own their own shit, most of them won't be happy.

Honestly by my observation you are correct about them "fixing their own problems". Some of them I've noticed have made a half-hearted effort to change things but they don't persevere for long. It's weird, they have confessed how lonely they are and how much they wish they had someone to share their life with. When it doesn't fall into their lap they just seem to care and hope less. I really get the impression that they given up. They all act like they could give a fuck when the obvious truth is they're not fucking anyone.

What's even funnier is that when there is group of guys hanging out my divorced friends always allude to their freedom. When it's just me and one of my divorced friends they open up about what they feel like they are missing.

Reflecting on my own marriage, the marriages I've witnessed and the marriages I've read about I'm lead to understand that very few couples are fortunate enough to have that unique pairing necessary to take a relationship to the next level. For couples like that it isn't AS hard to accomplish. For the greater majority of couples (such as myself) that pairing isn't as complete as that handful of fortunate ones. It takes a little more effort to get to the next level when you have to work around things.

[leggysman]

I wonder how many of them have done the work to reflect on what their contributions were to the breakdown of their marriages?

The failure of my first marriage was cause for a lot of reflection. Both about her issues, and the ways in which I had let her down. There were a lot of lessons there. We were young, and it was a short marriage.

When we eventually became long-distance friends again - several years later - I think there was a mostly-unspoken, mutual recognition of these things. We didn't get back together, but she did advise me to pursue leggysandy

[coastalkid]

We didn't get back together, but she did advise me to pursue leggysandy

I gotta believe your ex still loved you enough to want you to be happy with Leggysandy. Good on you to reflect and make your next go at a relationship better. I personally think you've far exceeded "better". You're in the "enviable" class.

I've taken on a phrase my Irish friends use to describe an enviable friend, "Damn Bastard!" I came to realize they meant it in an almost endearing way like they were happy for them but they also thought he was just lucky. You most likely are a damn bastard but only in the nicest of ways!

[leggysman]

I've taken on a phrase my Irish friends use to describe an enviable friend, "Damn Bastard!" I came to realize they meant it in an almost endearing way like they were happy for them but they also thought he was just lucky. You most likely are a damn bastard but only in the nicest of ways!

thanks coastalkid. I have certainly been a lucky bastard in life so far. But seriously, lessons learned can also lead to better choices, and leggysandy was one of those. I could go on, but in the spirit of this thread: my ex helped me find my new lover. [ they actually met a couple of years later, after leggysandy and I had married, which was weird but kind of awesome too ]