Hi from Minnesota

[twoshare_98]

Hey everyone! I’ve lurked on here for a bit, but never posted anything. I’ve (N) been married to my wife (M) for four years and we have been together for a total of eight years. She’s 27, 5’4”, a little on the curvier side, curly brunette hair, and hazel eyes. We met in college on Tinder and have been together ever since! I feel like our sex life keeps getting better and better. I love her and I am so lucky to be with her.

Now for the kinda Hotwife side of things-I’m probably going to be in the wannabe’s section for a while. I’ve wanted to share her for a couple years now, not sure what started the idea for me. I’m more into the stag/vixen lifestyle as I am not into the humiliation aspect of hotwifing. I enjoy the idea of my wife turning on and pleasuring other guys. And I believe that she deserves all the attention and pleasure she needs.

About a year ago while we were fucking I told her that I wanted to share her with another guy. I was super nervous to tell her, but I was very glad to get it off my chest. She was glad that I told her and was fairly receptive to it, she said it’s a pretty common fantasy and the idea of it can be pretty hot. But she told me she wasn’t interested in being with another guy and just wanted me(such a terrible thing to have, right? Just kidding haha). I only brought it up a couple times after that with pretty much the same response, one of the times I suggested she anonymously flirt with a couple guys on an online video chat website-she wasn’t interested in that either. In the meantime I’ve let it be a fantasy.

[elina]

Dear twoshare_98

Welcome to the OHW forum

Sincerely
elina

[okguy280]

Hello twoshare_98, from a fellow MN wannabe in the Twin Cities area! Your post rung my bell with very similar thoughts and experiences I've had with my wife over the 1-2 years. While we're about 15 years older in terms of her age and relationship length together, we also met in college (before Tinder), and she too is 5'4" with hazel eyes...although more curvier than in her upper 20s (which she is aging beautifully like a fine wine).

I joined this forum early last year to read and learn from others about all the various aspects about Hotwiving. This is actually my first post after being a long-time lurker, and I've been grateful for the knowledgeable people who consistently share information on this forum. I appreciate reading this first post of yours too, as it sounds almost exactly like something I would have written myself to explain my situation.

[SalseroStag]

Hello there and welcome,
Everyone has started as a wannabe, so take your time, don’t push things and play with her fantasy when she seems more receptive. Maybe step by step you could notice some progress and work around it. We spent a lot of time before moving to the real thing and it was worth of every effort! Just don’t give up, more difficulties will come later; it all depends how both you face them. Good luck

[twoshare_98]

Hello twoshare_98, from a fellow MN wannabe in the Twin Cities area! Your post rung my bell with very similar thoughts and experiences I've had with my wife over the 1-2 years. While we're about 15 years older in terms of her age and relationship length together, we also met in college (before Tinder), and she too is 5'4" with hazel eyes...although more curvier than in her upper 20s (which she is aging beautifully like a fine wine).

I joined this forum early last year to read and learn from others about all the various aspects about Hotwiving. This is actually my first post after being a long-time lurker, and I've been grateful for the knowledgeable people who consistently share information on this forum. I appreciate reading this first post of yours too, as it sounds almost exactly like something I would have written myself to explain my situation.

Are you sure you aren’t me from the future? Hahaha, just kidding.

Glad to meet someone else from the twin cities area with a very similar situation! Definitely lots to learn from others in this forum.

[twoshare_98]

Hello there and welcome,
Everyone has started as a wannabe, so take your time, don’t push things and play with her fantasy when she seems more receptive. Maybe step by step you could notice some progress and work around it. We spent a lot of time before moving to the real thing and it was worth of every effort! Just don’t give up, more difficulties will come later; it all depends how both you face them. Good luck

I definitely plan to take my time now. I hope that it can become a fantasy for her too eventually. Right now I guess I need to figure out what baby steps we should take at the very beginning.

Glad it was worth the effort for you two! Thanks for the luck.

[SalseroStag]

You’re welcome and if you need any advice, just ask but remember: always pick your decisions with your own head as you’re the only one to know how your relationship works. We can only tell what worked for us

[twoshare_98]

You’re welcome and if you need any advice, just ask but remember: always pick your decisions with your own head as you’re the only one to know how your relationship works. We can only tell what worked for us

Thanks for the advice! Every relationship is different.

[MartasBoy]

Now for the kinda Hotwife side of things-I’m probably going to be in the wannabe’s section for a while.

....she said it’s a pretty common fantasy and the idea of it can be pretty hot. But she told me she wasn’t interested in being with another guy and just wanted me(such a terrible thing to have, right? Just kidding haha).

Let her know that it's a strong and persistent fantasy for you, and ask if she would be willing to do a pretend bedroom role play, as a compromise. My wife has gotten into doing this with me.

So suggest that you can start the fantasy role play, sometime when the two of you are in bed together naked, touching and caressing each other.


Then you can start the role play by saying, "Honey, I need to tell you something. I came by your work today, hoping to surprise you and take you to lunch. I saw you coming out of work, with your gym bag, get in your car, and drive off, before I could call to you. I thought it was odd that you would be trying to go to the gym on your lunch break. So, you know where this is going sweetie. I followed you to motel, and saw you meet that guy in the parking lot, and the two of you kiss. And I saw you go to a room with him. I decided not to make a scene, so I left. You know Sweetie, I've told you before, that I have long had a fantasy about you being with another man sexually. You've told me you werent interested in that, and now I find out that you have a secret lover. I'm not mad. I'm just surprised and confused. I have so many questions. Can you tell me what's going on?"

See if she will play by making up stories based on your questions, like:

1. How did you meet him?
2. What tempted you to have an affair, when you had told me you wouldn't.
3. What was it that drew you to him?
4. What needs did you discover you were desiring, in acting on that?
5. So what's he like?
6. So what kind of things do you guys do together?
7. So how is he?
8. Do you plan to see him again?

You might need to give your wife a script, of just some general outline of what kind of answers to those questions would excite you.

I know you said that you aren't interested in any humiliation. I enjoy humiliation, so I prompted my wife to tell me things about how her imaginary secret lover was so much better than me. It is fun. She basically tells me details about "him" that describes somebody who is almost the opposite of me. Those things excite me. But I know some of them aren't even real things for her. For example, she has never been attracted to extremely muscular bodybuilder types. I am more a fit, trim, slim, athletic body type. She says I am the type she is most attracted to. But she tells me that "he", works out, lifts weights, and is very muscular. She says she gets turned on by laying her head on his muscular chest, and running her hands over all of his muscles. She says that he's very strong, and it is exciting for her that he can lift her up and carry her to the bedroom, more effortlessly than any guy she's ever been with.

She also knows that I am into Small Penis Humiliation SPH. She will say things like, "I never thought I would be interested in being with a man with a really large penis. I have always found them intimidating and a little scary. But I have found out that I really like it when I'm with him. He fills me up more than any man I've ever been with, and he reaches places inside of me that no man ever has. And I have orgasms with him from vaginal intercourse, when, you know I've never been able to have those with anybody before.

She was reluctant to do all of that dialogue at first, fearing that it was just too over the top and would hurt my feelings. But, when she was doing it, and stroking my penis, she was blown away by how hard I got, and how she could feel it Rob at certain parts of the dialogue.

It's been fun, and she has continued to build on it. But if you are not into humiliation you may have to give her a script of what kind of things you find exciting.

[twoshare_98]

Now for the kinda Hotwife side of things-I’m probably going to be in the wannabe’s section for a while.

....she said it’s a pretty common fantasy and the idea of it can be pretty hot. But she told me she wasn’t interested in being with another guy and just wanted me(such a terrible thing to have, right? Just kidding haha).

Let her know that it's a strong and persistent fantasy for you, and ask if she would be willing to do a pretend bedroom role play, as a compromise. My wife has gotten into doing this with me.

So suggest that you can start the fantasy role play, sometime when the two of you are in bed together naked, touching and caressing each other.

It's been fun, and she has continued to build on it. But if you are not into humiliation you may have to give her a script of what kind of things you find exciting.

Just last night my wife said “I only want to use that(realistic dildo) if we are doing role play with it.”

So I think she would be willing to do some fantasy role play. I didn’t inquire about it at the time because I was focusing on her last night. Thanks for the pointers!

[MartasBoy]

Just last night my wife said “I only want to use that(realistic dildo) if we are doing role play with it.”

So I think she would be willing to do some fantasy role play. I didn’t inquire about it at the time because I was focusing on her last night. Thanks for the pointers!

That is a great start. You could ask her if she would be willing to masturbate with it blindfolded, with her eyes closed, while you sit in a chair by the bed, or lay across the bed with no contact. And ask her if she is willing to masturbate with that realistic dildo, and imagine she's with another man, and call out someone else's name, while she vocalizes through her orgasm.

The Adam & Eve website has a kit they call Clone-a-Willy. It comes with casting material and silicon mix. You make yourself very erect in the casting material, then let it harden. You then pour the silicon mix in and you can create a soft silicone replica of your own penis.

You could show her that kit, and ask her to imagine that a kid like that was used to create a silicon clone of her outside lovers penis, so she can enjoy feeling him inside of her, when he isn't around.

Good luck. I hope your fantasy play with her grows into something very enjoyable and satisfying. Ours has been.

I wonder how he would respond, if you told her you have long had fantasies about her being with another man, and that they really turn you on a lot. Ask her if she would be willing to imagine something like that and do a role play with you. Ask her if she would be willing to role play "confessing" an "affair" to you. Then you can tell her that it's important to you to know everything that happened, and she can tell you all of the "details".

In the role play my wife does with me, she will say, "I'm sorry honey, I know this might be hard for you. But, you have always told me that you had a fantasy about this, and often wished that I would sleep with other men. Now I'm actually doing it, and this has always been your fantasy. Now, I'm afraid that I am hooked on doing this, and I cannot give him up. It's just too exciting for me. So you will have to accept that I am going to keep seeing him, because I just can't stop myself."

Then I tell her that I accept the situation, and tell her that I will adjust to the shock of it all, because in all honesty, it is a fantasy of mine. And I tell her that it will help me to cope with the situation, if she regularly tells me all the details about her time with "him."

For a while she had trouble feeling free to just go with the fantasy. Now she does. I will start it by saying, "You were with him again weren't you? I can tell. I can smell his cologne on you. I want to know what you two did together. I want you to tell me all the details."
She has now become very comfortable with telling me the "details". We will do this while we are both naked in bed, and she strikes my penis. Over time, she has learned exactly which details she can tell me, that make me the most aroused. Having her penis in my hand as she "discloses details", serves as an incredible barometer to give her immediate feedback about which parts turn me on the most. She has discovered that I get really hard when she says something like, "He has the largest penis of any man I've ever been with. There's something about the way he knows how to move, when he's inside of me, that gives me rolling waves of orgasm after orgasm. When he and I end our time together, I'm always exhausted, and I have a little trouble standing up and walking, when I first get out of bed."

My wife has always had a very difficult time having orgasms from penis in vaginas sex. So this is an incredible fantasy. I usually come really hard when she says things like that.

You could share these writings with your wife, you can make changes to the script to fit more with your fantasy, and give her some ideas to work with.

[Shiphead]

Could you ask her what her fantasies are?
The way we started was long ago. We would get videos of hot sexual situations. We would watch them together before and during sex. She was onboard with watching them. I'd usually start massaging her while she watched and would work down and eat her pussy. We would of course have great sex during and after. I started getting some MFM videos included more and more. I'd ask if she thought she could handle two guys giving her pleasure. I'd ask if she thought she could handle some of the larger cocks that we viewed. I'd try and find out what she thought was hot. What kind of guys she found hot.
I'd try to get her talking about her fantasies. I'd tell her they were just fantasies so everything was about what made her horny to think about.
I studied about massage techniques and bought pots and things to help really put her at ease.
It's a slow process. It's about her. Take your time. Don't push your fantasy too hard on her. Make it so she can share her thoughts and ideas with you.
Don't keep making her act out your fantasy. There are three of you. Her, you and your little head that is way out front of you.

[twoshare_98]

Could you ask her what her fantasies are?
The way we started was long ago. We would get videos of hot sexual situations. We would watch them together before and during sex. She was onboard with watching them. I'd usually start massaging her while she watched and would work down and eat her pussy. We would of course have great sex during and after. I started getting some MFM videos included more and more. I'd ask if she thought she could handle two guys giving her pleasure. I'd ask if she thought she could handle some of the larger cocks that we viewed. I'd try and find out what she thought was hot. What kind of guys she found hot.
I'd try to get her talking about her fantasies. I'd tell her they were just fantasies so everything was about what made her horny to think about.
I studied about massage techniques and bought pots and things to help really put her at ease.
It's a slow process. It's about her. Take your time. Don't push your fantasy too hard on her. Make it so she can share her thoughts and ideas with you.
Don't keep making her act out your fantasy. There are three of you. Her, you and your little head that is way out front of you.

I should ask her again what her fantasies are. When I told her about my fantasy of sharing her a year ago I asked her what her fantasies were. I didn’t really get a reply from her. And there’s no way she has no fantasies.
I need to make sure she is comfortable so she can share her thoughts and ideas with me. She reads a lot of “romance” books so I’m sure she has some fantasies. Even if she has no intentions of acting on any of them.

[jmsjmsus]

Could you ask her what her fantasies are?
The way we started was long ago. We would get videos of hot sexual situations. We would watch them together before and during sex. She was onboard with watching them. I'd usually start massaging her while she watched and would work down and eat her pussy. We would of course have great sex during and after. I started getting some MFM videos included more and more. I'd ask if she thought she could handle two guys giving her pleasure. I'd ask if she thought she could handle some of the larger cocks that we viewed. I'd try and find out what she thought was hot. What kind of guys she found hot.
I'd try to get her talking about her fantasies. I'd tell her they were just fantasies so everything was about what made her horny to think about.
I studied about massage techniques and bought pots and things to help really put her at ease.
It's a slow process. It's about her. Take your time. Don't push your fantasy too hard on her. Make it so she can share her thoughts and ideas with you.
Don't keep making her act out your fantasy. There are three of you. Her, you and your little head that is way out front of you.

I should ask her again what her fantasies are. When I told her about my fantasy of sharing her a year ago I asked her what her fantasies were. I didn’t really get a reply from her. And there’s no way she has no fantasies.
I need to make sure she is comfortable so she can share her thoughts and ideas with me. She reads a lot of “romance” books so I’m sure she has some fantasies. Even if she has no intentions of acting on any of them.

That's how I got my wife talking about it. I asked her what her fantasies were, even if it was something she'd never actually do. She said be with two men! I was so shocked I didn't know what to say, I asked how she wanted it to go, she said one in my mouth and one inside me.

Eventually she lived out her fantasy.

[Shiphead]

Don't forget to set the mood. A couple massages without fantasy talk. Don't forget to get oils and candles. Bu especially watch some videos on giviñg a good massage. Maybe don't even move into sex. Maybe have dessert ready upstairs.
Just change up the script for a bit. She'll question you but just tell her that sometimes you can't believe how lucky you were to nab her. Tell her you were surprised she went out with you because you thought she was out of your league. Maybe find a movie she wants to see. Sit and watch it with her.
It works and helps to reignite your relationship. Ask her what her favorite thing to do during sex and which she could do without.
Just remember, you are going back in time and dating her. Building trust. And don't even consider talking about HW unless she initiates it.